When my mother was dying (unconscious) the floor nurse who came in to do routine checks began crying. She apologized and quickly left the room. I wish I could have found her to tell her to never apologize for having a compassionate heart. My mother was a nurse for 35 years before she retired too. God bless you all.

One of my peers recently shared with me that in the Jewish religion, it is actually offensive to say "They're in a better place now" because Jewish individuals believe that the best place you can be is with your family on earth. I thought it was very interesting and thought I would share in case it helps someone else! Thank you for making this video!

I was with my mother as she passed away last Friday. 30.12.2022. Mother was in a Care Home and had a chest infection. She was on end of life medication and had not spoken a word for the past week . As she lay on her bed, having been given an injection for terminal agitation and had received the Last Rites in the morning, she opened her eyes. I held her hand and told her we were all here ( my siblings and myself). Mother attempted to gasp and say something, but she couldn't. She knew we were all there and seemed quiet and at peace. As we talked about our childhood, mother stopped breathing and simply slipped away. We called the Staff and they confirmed that there was no pulse. I closed my mother's eyes and we let her go. Silently and peacefully she was reunited with our Dad who died 32 years ago. Mother's Alzheimer's and her pain died with her. Her long journey at almost 95 years of age was finally over. Rest in peace mother.

You're honestly so nice. Your patients and their families are so lucky to have you has their nurse. I wish I had somebody like you as my mom's nurse when I lost her. She died in the ICU after going into cardiac arrest and being worked on for 45 mins. No heart beat. I didn't get much respect from the staff.

This helps me massively as a healthcare assistant in a nursing home. I never know what to say. Thank you

This is something I always struggle with as a RN. I definitely agree that sometimes it’s hard to find the words to say because you really don’t want to say anything offensive at all, yet you don’t want to act like you don’t care by not saying anything. Thanks for this video, it was very helpful!

There is no easy way to tell family members that a loved one has passed.. Honestly just saying it was a pleasure taking care of the loved one and thank the family for being there for the patient. Usually sends a good vibe to the family members & saying sorry for your loss. (This will suffice in most situations) It really does depend on the Dynamics of the family. Hope this helps a bit. Remember we are all humans and emotions tend to take over in situations as this.

I am a pediatric hospice nurse. This was very helpful. I struggle with what to say.

This is another reason why I think nurses are absolutely amazing. I don't think I'd be able to say any of those things without emotionally breaking down myself. Nurses are so strong to do what they do every day. Also, thank you for this video! :)

Last things my mom said to me ,,,, I don't wanna go Then she said I'll miss you like crazy ,,,those are the last words she said to me ,About four days before he fnal breath,, I was with her in the room when she died and took her last breath i was alone with her ,All my sisters went home already I knew things were going to happen that night I just sensed it... I made an extra effort to stay up with her..Then it happens she stopped breathing...No soul flying above her,Just final,, it will three years coming this March.. Haunted by it every day...

I work for Hospice Families have also need to hear that they are doing good. They also need to know that pt can hear what they say and that the pt feel they are here with him/her.

I will always say to my comfort care patients families that are there: “they are extremely lucky to have such a loving family around them to be there for them, what else could be a better way to go” something along those lines to show the family that they’re very fortunate to have such a loving family

You are truly authentic and sincere. You are a blessing to every patient you have cared for.

Can you do a video on what to do if a patient does not accept or does not understand their terminal illness. A relative of mine has stage 5 breast cancer and is taking chemotherapy as palliative care but believes it will extend her life by many years. Should you make it clear or let them keep hope? I think I would want to know.

Such a great idea for a video! As a first year nursing student, this is so helpful! Thank you :)

I spent all night with mom. The next morning the family arrived and I left to go rest, shower and change clothes. But as soon as I got home I got a call saying she passed. I wish I could have stayed a little longer. I never said a formal goodbye.

Great video. When I'm dying, I want a nurse like you.

you are genuinely a good person! thankyou for sharing!!! aspiring RCP in training. God bless

Such gentle approach ❤

Around this subject, I would really recommend reading "Being Mortal" By Atul Gawande or watching his Google Talk.

You are wonderful. Thank you for being so empathetic.

Thank you for this important and useful information. You are an angel to those who you take care of in these times. 🙏🏼🙏🏼

Great video! This is definitely something that's not talked about vey much. I often have to be the first person to tell family members the prognosis and this can be really tough! Thank you for posting! And just as you mentioned-very important to tell patient and family what is being done! They say the last thing to go is hearing.

The "better place" thing shouldn't be said by anyone but the closest of family members..A not close acquaintance of mine said those words to me at my daughters funeral..I was very close to putting them in the "better place"....just..no..

this was super helpful. thank you for making this video, i'll be rewatching it for sure

You have such good topics Ashley!! 🌺🌺 We should have your videos in nursing school.

Oh darling you are an empath who is a great nurse. Xxxoooo

Ashley please make a video with tips on how to work with Children please

Your videos are so damn helpful! So glad I found you while I’m still in nursing school!

very interesting, intimate, and important.

Using definitive words can be important in effectively communicating your thoughts and ideas, as it can help to avoid ambiguity or confusion. However, it's also important to be mindful of how you say things, as your tone and delivery can have a significant impact on how your message is received. In situations where you need to convey important information or make a decision, using definitive words can be particularly helpful. This may involve using clear and direct language, such as "I have decided" or "This is what needs to happen." By using definitive words, you can help to ensure that everyone involved understands what needs to be done and what the expectations are. However, it's important to balance this directness with a respectful and empathetic tone. Depending on the situation, the tone of your delivery can be just as important as the words you choose. For example, if you need to deliver difficult news or have a difficult conversation, it's important to approach the situation with sensitivity and compassion. You may need to use more tentative language, such as "I understand this may be difficult to hear" or "I want to make sure I'm hearing you correctly." Being mindful of how you say things can also be important in building relationships and maintaining effective communication over the long term. By using a tone that is respectful and empathetic, you can help to build trust and rapport with others, even in difficult or high-pressure situations. This can be particularly important in situations where you need to work collaboratively with others to achieve a common goal. Overall, using definitive words can be an effective way to communicate your thoughts and ideas clearly and avoid ambiguity. However, it's important to balance this directness with a mindful and respectful tone, in order to build effective relationships and maintain clear lines of communication.

You are a special, beautiful person...

Thanks so much. I'm writing a film about a close subject to this and your videos are helping me a lot.

I’m dealing with this right now, my granny is passing away and it’s so hard to deal with. Prayers pls.

What passing means to one person means something different to another depending on their perception. How much we will be sad depends on much attachment we have to that person. To me personally death is a stage were we into a new born. Our thoughts, memories and perception will reset to zero starting from a beginning to experience this beautiful life again. We won't remember our loved ones, our friends or anything. Because when we came we didn't remember any from our past life. But we will reunite in a way because souls are connected. That's why u love someone without even talking. Passing is the begging, Otherwise someone can be forever ill.

I’ve always wondered who the people are who give this a thumbs down?

God bless you! 💜

Such a great topic. Very helpful. Thank you

I’m very awkward when a patient dies bc it’s very short lived in the ER

Very helpful video.

Thanks ❤

God bless you dear ❤

awww😢thats the worse conversation you can have with someone.

Loved this ❤️

As a hospice nurse myself, I find a good sideline is flicking them a brochure on caskets. I mean they are going to croak anyway. Might as well make some extra coin from sales commission. Okay. I'm not a hospice nurse and I would never do such a thing. Just trying to change an otherwise dark topic to a chuckle.

😢

Your GOOD!!!! I am positive you don't make enough money! Thank you

To a loved one, I would say simply and with a wink, I’ll see you soon.

How do you deal with it

My father went to the hospital for his hip was no big deal so I thought. We talked wile he was in admittance prosses and it was on friday so I had banking and things to deal with. He told me go do what you have to do and he would be ok. So I went and done what I had to do so the next morning I went to the hospital to see him and they told me where his room was and when I walked in he was unconscious and not responsive. So I go to the nurses station ask whats up with dad? They said the doctor will come talk to you shortly. So im sitting next to dad looking at him and things wrote on the dry erase board not liking what im seeing. Doctor comes in and said dad is very near death so be prepared. So I said thats not rite he was fine other than his hip needed replaced. I was in total disbelief at that point and was getting angry quickly. So I calm down get my thoughts togher again and they explained things to me so I could understand. Two days go by and my employer was not liking me not being at work so I wasn't at his side when he passed. So the last time we talked was just after the conversation with the doctors he opend his eyes looked over at me so I got up leaned over him and I said i love you dad wile crying my eyes out and he said i love you too youre a good man. And went back out. My sister and his brother was standing there also and didn't give them any notice at all. That was the only time ive ever heard i love you to me. Also the only time i told him that. We didn't have a good relationship early in my life but we where getting closer to one. He passed the next day witch was my 47th birthday. On my way to work driving along it was cloudy and overcast and suddenly the sun burst thru the clouds it was so beautiful instantly I knew he was gone. 7:45 am was on the clock i pulled in to work shut my truck off and my phone rang and got the news. I felt relieved and sad at the same time.

good job, Ash :-)

I think what I'd say to whomever is caring for me in the last stages is...for goodness sake speed the process up!

Do you have visiting hours in ICU or is it allowed for people to stay there openly??

How do I cite a KZfaq video, If i'm using this video

Namaste!

Are nurse

Let the family member know that the death was nothing the family or patient was in control

😳

What can I do for you

Is it okay for loved ones not to stay with loved one. My mother I couldn't stay but did wissper I told my mom she can go on her journey now? I will you You are the best other you knew how to be Mom thank you for all time for making me laugh so hard MOM? I WANT I WON'T YOU TO BE AT PEACE YOU HAVE YOUR WHOLE ENTIRE

u fine ma

Not very classy for someone’s dying words

Just the way you said good luck made me think that you no longer feel any empathy... sorry I could not watch the whole video after that.