No video
How To Work On Your Marriage While Separated
Рет қаралды 127,419
6 жыл бұрынDr. Joe Beam discusses how to work on marriage during separation. When a couple is separated, it's often confusing and difficult to make progress on repairing the relationship. The goal should be to move toward reconciliation and living together again but how can effective communication take place when a couple is separated? How can you save your marriage during separation? Dr. Joe Beam discusses how to work on your marriage during separation and more in this episode of Marriage Helper Live.
Learn how to GET YOUR SPOUSE BACK if separated with our FREE COURSE:
bit.ly/3tHT8Mz
"The Valley" is a comfortable place that many separated spouses live in for a time. There is some communication, but not a lot. There aren't real responsibilities being placed on their shoulders in terms of your relationship yet. There is contact, but your relationship isn't moving forward in any way. It is okay for your spouse to be in the valley for a time, but there is a point when change must be made. You are the one that can actually end the valley period. You can bring forth boundaries (these are some things that cannot occur or there will be consequences) and criteria (something they must do for a positive consequence, and if it's not done there will be a negative consequence). Disrupting the valley may end your relationship and you have to be prepared for that, but it will finally get you out of that middle ground.
For more information on working on your marriage during separation, visit www.marriagehel...
@MarriageHelper 2 жыл бұрын
Learn how to GET YOUR SPOUSE BACK if separated with our FREE COURSE: bit.ly/3tHT8Mz
@tcriste1 5 жыл бұрын
My husband and I have been in the valley" you are referring to for about a year now. I'm standing for my marriages reconciliation. I believe ALL things are possible with God and anything is possible if a person believes. Therefore since God can do anything except violate His Word of course- I will stand in faith. And in the meantime I build myself up on the Word as well as make sure our children are built up on the Wors too.
@theshield1613 5 жыл бұрын
my wife said she is done with me she doesn't feel happy with me anymore but I love her so much I never cheated on her I'm loyal to my wife but it's really sad she doesn't see it how rich my love is for her we have a child together I know she will met and go out with cheaters or worse maybe she will regret it leaving me leaving a true love loyalty honest guy
@cheshire_skatkat9093 5 жыл бұрын
@@theshield1613 the red pill is hard to swallow but you will be better for it. Go MGTOW. I RECOMMEND HIGHLY Paul elam a voice for men and an ear for men on KZfaq.
@jeremyobermeyer5432 5 жыл бұрын
Prayers for you and your marriage!!!
@candacerivera4758 5 жыл бұрын
I'm in your shoes now. I'm growing closer to God, but it's such a hard situation. He is in limerence with her and just moved in with her today, but he still loves me. I will wait as long as need be because I know I don't want another man, nor would it be fair to have a relationship with someone knowing I could never really love them. I'm just giving it to God because this battle is bigger than me and he will fight what I can see with what I can't see. I hope your marriage is reconciled.
@hansevecktiangco9738 4 жыл бұрын
@@theshield1613 same situation
@edwinherrera9958 2 жыл бұрын
My wife is in the valley as well. I love her so much and want the marriage to work. I pray everyday, I want the marriage to work. I have my faith tied with my marriage.
@uraia07 Жыл бұрын
Stay on it brother. That's the best practice I keep reminding myself there's 2 in my marriage God and me and my wife. Best thing to know as a believer that our God doesn't fail and He's true to that covenant. He is a covenant keeping God. You're not alone brother keep your faith in God.
@shannonsmith1080 2 жыл бұрын
Don’t listen to negative people think positive put your faith and trust in God above
@kristikeener1020 3 жыл бұрын
My husband had an affair with someone 30 years younger than him. He said he wants to fix our marriage and I am open to that but I have set boundaries and said he has to help gain my trust again and take the steps to show that he wants this since I have moved out of the house. I told him the door is open to rebuild our relationship but I feel we need to start over as friends and rebuild the marriage. You videos have helped me so much.
@veronicaisles947 3 жыл бұрын
Hi friend, do you really need help to recover your relationship and get your husband back to you?????
@veronicaisles947 3 жыл бұрын
Let me recommend you to someone called baba Eseohe that helped me recover my relationship and get my ex back to me. He can definitely help you also ❤️❤️
@veronicaisles947 3 жыл бұрын
Watzap him now for help.........
@veronicaisles947 3 жыл бұрын
+2=3=4=8=0=8=4=0=2=3=9=5=5
@phabeondominguez5971 2 жыл бұрын
Hello Kristi, it's been a few months now, how are you? How is it all going for you now?
@alexandrabanderas9411 Жыл бұрын
God put us on this earth to find joy in every situation. Not to beg for love or hope for love. Give your pain to God and overcome the sadness and have joy and happiness in your life. Move on
@quintincrum797 3 ай бұрын
I enjoy these videos. They're very informative. I admit I get easily distracted watching Kim! If her husband reads this, I hope this makes him very proud.
@STONESGAM 5 жыл бұрын
I feel like once a marriage hits the "separation" stage it's usually over. Even if a couple reconciles things usually will not be the same as they once were. People generally don't change much and the same issues and feelings will pop up again at a later time. Everyone is on their best behavior when trying to work things out for the last time. But at some point the real you and the real them will come out again as will the things that annoy and upset you about one another.
@lilackey 4 жыл бұрын
That scares me a lot, as we've been through domestic violence two years ago. The man I love has a mental disorder, childhood trauma, but doesn't want to continue teraphy that brought some little but actual changes this year. He wants to move back in for a month to "try again, feel like a part of a family". I was against unless he continues meetings with the doc. Unfortunately he's unconvinced. Later on, seeing how much love he brings to our home, that I can count on him (time, meetings, shopping, babysitting our daughter, etc) I changed my mind. I said it will be my Christmas gift for him. I hope I won't regret I gave him another chance. Please God do surround our weary hearts with your Love, the only source of a true happiness on this earth.
@nayroo_ba140 4 жыл бұрын
@@lilackey amin 🌷
@lilackey 4 жыл бұрын
@@nayroo_ba140 tessekurum Sister 🙏🏻 kisses from mama to mama 💕
@drewg3087 3 жыл бұрын
Unfortunately I agree.
@waynepolo6193 2 жыл бұрын
@@lilackey how’d it go?
@admiralisshobattousai2806 5 жыл бұрын
Dr. Joe, i would like to raise a question regarding married people who are separated and the spouse (husband or the wife) works hard but the other spouse is in the valley situation. Its like the spouse (husband or wife) is just riding on with situation or the marriage. The spouse (husband or wife) wants to meet her/ his spouse personally to talk about the marriage problem but the other spouse is avoiding or does not want to. The situation is like the "persuer and chaser" situation. Does your advice also applies to this kind of situation? Thank you Dr. Joe.
@baskin283 6 ай бұрын
husband moved out for over a month and still doesn’t seem or even be sorry for leaving or even miss me. He even isn’t renewing the lease once it’s up, my situation doesn’t look hopeful at all. I’ve been doing smart contact but seems like it’s over
@adamrogers3417 2 жыл бұрын
After a year almost of being separated my wife still will not talk about us. We do talk and have communication just not about us.
@MarriageHelper 2 жыл бұрын
Hey Adam Rogers! It sounds like something that could be extremely beneficial to you would be our SMART Contact Toolkit. This will teach you exactly what to do to start rebuilding healthy communication with your spouse! Highly recommend you consider checking it out here: marriagehelper.com/product/smart-contact-toolkit-product/ We truly hope it helps you.
@JustIdeas000 Жыл бұрын
Thank you for this - it really helped me today .
@richardeliasjames5190 5 жыл бұрын
My Question is its important in love about age..? Or any woman leave by only age or money...?
@eduardoserranovegaedseve 26 күн бұрын
Thank you so much!
@shaunajohnson307 4 жыл бұрын
what if he is living with someone else in the valley? shes paying his rent etc cuz he cant afford our mortgage etc as well as his new life style so its somewhere free to live plus shes letting him drive her vehicles etc.
@whatspphim8146 3 жыл бұрын
I recommend you to a relationship expert who can help you manifest whatever and whoever you want to manifest within two-days❤️❤️❤️
@whatspphim8146 3 жыл бұрын
Whtsaap him***
@whatspphim8146 3 жыл бұрын
+ 1 2 6 0 2 7 5 5 1 6 0
@salemthorup9536 3 жыл бұрын
How does one even do SMART contact and back off when even business stuff is seriously emotionally charged because he won't make decisions with me. He either bullies me or just lets me make the decisions but then often blames me if what I chose doesn't work out (often because he sabotages it passive aggressively) AND I'm not able or allowed to live in a safe place (he has me living at my parents while he lives at his--- my dad is abusive)?
@whatspphim8146 3 жыл бұрын
I recommend you to a relationship expert who can help you manifest whatever and whoever you want to manifest within two-days❤️❤️❤️
@whatspphim8146 3 жыл бұрын
Whtsaap him***
@whatspphim8146 3 жыл бұрын
+ 1 2 6 0 2 7 5 5 1 6 0
@ibrahimyakubu6850 2 жыл бұрын
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
@ibrahimyakubu6850 2 жыл бұрын
Text him on Wh'stapp
@carolmccabe4359 Ай бұрын
Thank you so much
@strawberryfarm859 2 жыл бұрын
Question. My husband left me for other woman. He came home twice just urgently pack told me he needs space and time. He said he cannot kiss me. Is this him saying he moved on so he doesn't want to cheat on other woman? I am devastated after 20year married.
@egwuatupromise1208 2 жыл бұрын
Whatsaap him"**
@olliehall6490 2 жыл бұрын
@@egwuatupromise1208 IS THIS WITCHCRAFT WORK?
@mralmosthonest Жыл бұрын
My wife and I have been separated for about a month. We share a vehicle but she lives at her sisters. When she comes here, she refuses to come inside. When she gets into car she locks the doors right away. She doesn't say hello, I have to. I say I love you, she says nothing and looks mad. I feel nervous, I get awkward, I stumble my words and look and sound nervous...Is this making everything worse? I don't understand how to stay strong calm and gentle...I'm trying but soon as I see her, I tuck my tail...please help
@imanivaldez5303 10 ай бұрын
Yeah that’s me I’ve been watching all videos, trying to stay calm soon as see him I’m all over the placec
@LasershowLab 3 жыл бұрын
i have sinned my wife since 2020 because of my affair, now im going back to my wife, ask for forgiveness and want to work it out but she ignoring me up until now, im worried, what should i do?
@lisagutierrez8651 6 жыл бұрын
What do you do when married for 9 years separate meaning husband left living in different state finding out has seeker out strange woman get letter mail asking for divorce I not want my state is no fault so they granted it I'm a strong Christian woman I want my marriage back my husband delivered from the strange woman saved but he refusing still no contact ..should I stand or what would you suggest oh the strange women was in Honduras he's in Texas but still have contact with her cuz he say they have a son
@MarriageHelper 6 жыл бұрын
Hi, Lisa. Thank you for reaching out to us. Please call us at 866-903-0990 so we can help you!
@certaindeed 3 жыл бұрын
Unless you and your partner have the same ideals or religious faith and convictions...it won't work out. If one practices the faith and the other does not...you are screwed. Trust me, I speak from experience and that of many others.
@honeycovin9665 Күн бұрын
@certaindeed that is not true. My husband is Christian and I am Jewish. We are separated, but we have the same values regarding marriage.
@favourhmk2991 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you! Love the time you take to explain, God bless
@alisia6578 2 жыл бұрын
But what about what his responsibilities are? So she should be nice and let him continue.But she doesn't want the marriage to end?
@omowunmijohn3829 2 жыл бұрын
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,l got help from a great man who brought us back together...
@omowunmijohn3829 2 жыл бұрын
十2348170575769♻️♻️🎦🚻识你...
@omowunmijohn3829 2 жыл бұрын
Whatsappin him 👍☝️🤘👍🤝🤜
@PhDarien 3 жыл бұрын
Threatening a man with financial rape is a good way to not win him over. The kids are a byproduct of marriage and shouldn’t be used as leverage or reward by a man submitting to any woman’s demands. Lord of good things, but some was way off base. Training men to be SIMPS is never the answer.
@certaindeed 3 жыл бұрын
Yeah...this video is giving advice to do exactly that.
@prettyp971 4 жыл бұрын
How are boundaries different from ultimatums?
@certaindeed 3 жыл бұрын
They are ultimatums. Don't listen to this guy. This video is horrible, bad advice and easily taken out of context.
@annawimpey5307 2 жыл бұрын
Its not just euphemism, because an ultimatum implies its the last demand. Mandate is a rule in place that elicits a certain action or response. It can be removed when no longer needed.
@marthamijares4049 4 жыл бұрын
How do we seperate the bills Ins and the health Ins. My husband and I just separated on 4 days ago
@private_person 4 жыл бұрын
Good question. I hope someone answers.
@rolandjames6281 3 жыл бұрын
Whatsspp him
@rolandjames6281 3 жыл бұрын
+2348140610301
@devincheatham166 4 жыл бұрын
Tried looking up marriage radio and so many different kinds of apps popped up... which one is exactly??? Please send link... thank you
@rjivory783 4 жыл бұрын
Same here! update us if you find it, cus Lord knows It would be useful for me. Thanks in advance
@aspratling1 3 жыл бұрын
@@rjivory783 I FOUND THE PODCAST AS MARRIAGE HELPER LIVE
@aspratling1 3 жыл бұрын
I FOUND THE PODCAST AS MARRIAGE HELPER LIVE
@rolandjames6281 3 жыл бұрын
Let me introduce to you Dr Kim he help me bring back my marriage back after many months of separation
@rolandjames6281 3 жыл бұрын
Whatsspp him
@darrenpierce5398 5 жыл бұрын
My wife left me and move to princeton n she put separated n I want work on my marriage I need help
@impactajuvenile 4 жыл бұрын
Hi Darren, hope your marriage has reconciled by now? I’m about to go through a separation myself. My wife has found a place and has signed a one year lease close to our house. We will share joint custody over our two young children. It’s heartbreaking, never been away from my kids since their birth. Any advice would help? I’m a stay at home dad btw.
@mariovalentino6229 4 жыл бұрын
@@impactajuvenile I'm in the same boat... I'd like some of your opinions
@keithharrold7262 4 жыл бұрын
@@impactajuvenile I'm in the same situation. Almost exactly..... how's everything going?
@keithharrold7262 4 жыл бұрын
@@mariovalentino6229 How's your situation going? What are your options?
@impactajuvenile 4 жыл бұрын
Mario Valentino Sorry this happening to you Mario. It gets harder every week as my wife is packing and getting ready for the move. I was able to go over and see the new place on Saturday, she’s purchased new furniture, washer and dryer, beds for the kids, tables and chairs. I tried installing a baby gate for upstairs, but she didn’t want me to drill into the walls which made it impossible to install. It’s a tough situation to be in, I have my suspicions that she met someone else at work. I didn’t see anyone else’s stuff at her place. Hopefully, this is just a one year separation and she returns. But our relationship has been on the rocks for a very long time. I go to church and that helps me out a lot, I’m trying to work on some of the issues she had with me as well. Praying that both our wives return to us and we can reconcile? How are you doing brother? Take care and stay busy.
@mljrotag6343 4 жыл бұрын
Valley equals open marriage.
@imslippingimfallingigotsto7943 Жыл бұрын
I never get these videos
@certaindeed 3 жыл бұрын
It all depends on who initiated the separation. If she did and you are giving this advice then all these boundaries and criteria and penalties are a user's guide for a selfish narcissist dominating her partner
@rolandjames6281 3 жыл бұрын
Let me introduce to you Dr Kim he help me bring back my marriage after many months of separation
@rolandjames6281 3 жыл бұрын
Whatsspp him
@rolandjames6281 3 жыл бұрын
+2348140610301
@bethestandardallday 2 жыл бұрын
I thought ultimatums weren’t good?
@heranonymous8805 2 жыл бұрын
A boundary isn't an ultimatum. It's saying what you are going to do, not controlling the other person. It can seem similar but it isn't. It gives the person a choice that they are free to make, but the other person has the right to say, this is what I'm going to do if you make that choice. I can't stop you from making your choice, but you can't stop or control me either. It's a two way street. Neither spouse should be taking away the rights or choices of the other, and there is always a choice you can make for yourself, even if it's hard.
@Windbite 4 жыл бұрын
This sounds like a pushover approach. Gone a year, stay gone!
@sirvidia 2 жыл бұрын
a "criterion", not a "criteria". Otherwise good :)
@oluchieric4447 2 жыл бұрын
I know of a man who could help you restore back your relationship either your ex or soulmate
@oluchieric4447 2 жыл бұрын
He was the one who helped me in restoring back my ex partner three days ago without delay
@oluchieric4447 2 жыл бұрын
Whtsaap him"**
@victoraceja 2 жыл бұрын
My wife and andy to separate and move out for a break . Due all the mistreatment I caused over the years . I have apologized and owned up my errors . I have used the pies and smart contact and there has been some changes . She still currently wants to still move out on a break. What’s my next step?
@ibrahimyakubu6850 2 жыл бұрын
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
@phabeondominguez5971 2 жыл бұрын
Hello Victor, it's been a few months now, how are y'all doing now?
@Divya-lt4uw 2 жыл бұрын
Is there any way to get ex husband back plz help me
@ibrahimadamubashir190 2 жыл бұрын
I recommend you to a man who can help you manifest whatever and who ever you want to manifest within two-days ❤❤❤
@ibrahimadamubashir190 2 жыл бұрын
Whattapps him
@waleedantulay3419 2 жыл бұрын
Hi so I threw my wife out cos she doesn't like to keep the house clean now she's moved in some place else and loves her space and keep on asking me for a divorce....the kids also moved in by her after taking everything she owns ....is there hope
@ghafranhaque7161 2 жыл бұрын
Tell her you will also clean the house...because is not a womans duty ...
@ibrahimyakubu6850 2 жыл бұрын
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
@ibrahimyakubu6850 2 жыл бұрын
Wh'stapp him
@ibrahimyakubu6850 2 жыл бұрын
+2349056214156⏯⏯⏯ Hello it's works I can't believe am with my love again after so many years of break-up
@VLDavis5498 4 жыл бұрын
I have been separated for almost 6 months now we have no kids together we have been married for 5 years. Past couple of weeks my husband has been saying he is happy and free now since we are separated but claims all at the same time to want to work on our marriage yet never talks about how to move forward until I bring it up. I feel like he is seeing someone on his job again(he did that previously) I still love him he say he loves me but i don’t know. I don’t want to be a fool I want to work on my marriage but i don’t know if he wants that too...I feel so confused
@VLDavis5498 3 жыл бұрын
Racheal Otta ok thank you
@trucker512king2 3 жыл бұрын
My wife is tell me the same I just don’t know what to do
@VLDavis5498 3 жыл бұрын
Update: we decided to work on our marriage so far so good
@trucker512king2 3 жыл бұрын
Well god blessed y’all I hope the best for y’all Merrage!!
@VLDavis5498 3 жыл бұрын
Hope things work out for yours as well
@chrisjustus5446 3 жыл бұрын
MY WIFE AND I HAVE NOT SPOKEN WITH EACH OTHER IN PERHAPS SIX YEARS. IN 2012 I HELPED A WOMAN MOVE UP TO MICHIGAN FROM MY HOME STATE , NORTH CAROLINA. I HAD TO FIND WORK UP HERE IN MICHIGAN IN WHICH I DID AND SO I HAD AN INCOME FOR ABOUT SEVEN AND A HALF YEARS. IN FEBRUARY 2020 I HAD TO HAVE STOMACH SURGERY AND THEN CAME COVID-- 19 . NOW I HAVE NO MONETARY INCOME AND I AM MOSTLY SUPPORTED BY THE WOMAN THAT I HELPED MOVE UP HERE. SO MY WIFE MAY THINK THAT I HAVE LEFT HER FOR THIS OTHER WOMAN. I WROTE TO MY WIFE TWICE AND I HAVE NOT HEARD FROM HER. I HAVE NOT HEARD FROM MY SON EITHER.
@julieryan8179 3 жыл бұрын
So many holes in your story...why Michigan? why would that lady feel obligated to help you? what is your relationship with her? something smells.
@rolandjames6281 3 жыл бұрын
I know someone who might be of help to you Dr Kim he help me bring back my marriage after many months of separation
@rolandjames6281 3 жыл бұрын
Whatsspp him
@rolandjames6281 3 жыл бұрын
+2348140610301
@nealsnikeris6962 2 жыл бұрын
Why are you yelling
@williamstrob6 4 жыл бұрын
She had been having a affair with her married boss our son caught her in the act and this is all my fault she says shedoesn't want a divorce she feels our marriage is worth saving
@whatspphim8146 3 жыл бұрын
I recommend you to a relationship expert who can help you manifest whatever and whoever you want to manifest within two-days❤️❤️❤️
@whatspphim8146 3 жыл бұрын
Whtsaap him***
@whatspphim8146 3 жыл бұрын
+ 1 2 6 0 2 7 5 5 1 6 0
@johnrambo2876 2 жыл бұрын
Nope. F that. Gone.
@drewg3087 3 жыл бұрын
Horrible advice. Forcing a man and threaten divorce to get your way in your marriage is evil.
@whatspphim8146 3 жыл бұрын
I recommend you to a relationship expert who can help you manifest whatever and whoever you want to manifest within two-days❤️❤️❤️
@whatspphim8146 3 жыл бұрын
Whtsaap him***
@whatspphim8146 3 жыл бұрын
+ 1 2 6 0 2 7 5 5 1 6 0
@certaindeed 3 жыл бұрын
Emotional affair= wife talking with her female friends about their marriages and telling you based on their stories how he should act and how he should be and how he should behave. Its only fair if she does this, that you as the husband do the same, right?
@elizabethroberts8270 3 жыл бұрын
That's not what an emotional affair is
@certaindeed 3 жыл бұрын
@@elizabethroberts8270 it is...and is the most destructive form.
@drewg3087 3 жыл бұрын
So true!
@cheshire_skatkat9093 5 жыл бұрын
Best way to handle a separation....? MGTOW.
@eyyupsaycogan3186 5 жыл бұрын
My wife wants applied for divorse and we still in same house and she would not talk to me and there isn't another person involved I dont know what to do.
@pedromata133 3 жыл бұрын
@@eyyupsaycogan3186 I'm on the same boat, just out of the blue she stopped showing affection and now wants to leave.
@cindybain5176 4 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much
Marriage Helper
Рет қаралды 55 М.
Spouse In Limerence with SOMEONE ELSE? - 3 Do’s and Don’ts if YOUR Spouse is Infatuated with Someone
Marriage Helper
Рет қаралды 63 М.
Kate Scharff, Psychotherapist
Рет қаралды 135 М.
Terri Cole
Рет қаралды 112 М.
Michele Paiva | The Finance Therapist
Рет қаралды 13 М.