This is an episode for the ladies. As I've mentioned elsewhere, the one thing you must never do to the man with whom you want to have a relationship is disrespect him. Unfortunately, respect can mean different things to men and women -- so it's important for women to appreciate respect through the masculine lens so that they can stay on the sunny side of the unbreakable rule. The fact of the matter is that women unintentionally sabotage their relationships when they disrespect men without realizing it. As we'll see, most of these unintentional slights have to do with placing themselves above men. Book a paid consultation: oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Social Media Facebook: facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: kzfaq.info/get/bejne/jdiIdd2Cl66odYU.html Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: kzfaq.info/love/SduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXwjoin Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #relationship #dating

I think the fundamental problem with this video is that if she is disrespecting you she doesn't want to be with you. She doesn't disrespect her boss because she wants her job and the money. Disrespect is the first step on the journey to the end of the relationship.

You can only fully respect what you fear to lose. If there's no fear of potential loss, there's usually no restraint...

My ex partner (mother of my kids, 16 year relationship) used to disrespect me, I put it to her this way and she had no response. Would you treat your boss the way you treat me? No of course not because your don't want to lose your job. Would you treat a shop worker the way you treat me? No of course not because that would make you an arse. Would you treat a stranger on the street the way you treat me? No of course not because you don't want to risk a punch in the teeth. Then why treat me like that? Why am I worth less to you than a stranger in the street? Why is your boss or even a shop worker worth more than me? I realised it at the time but it took me years to properly understand it.

I left my ex due to her disrespect. I agree with others here that, when she begins disrespecting you, it’s because she doesn’t love (if she ever did) or desire you anymore. Time to move on.

when women disrespect you during the initial dating period, it's a form a "shit test". If the disrespect happens while you are in a relationship, it usually means she has lost attraction/desire for you, which usually cannot be reversed, and should be treated as a sign for breaking up.

I remember listening to a reddit story about a woman that told her son about his dad wetting the bed. I was confused and thought "So what, every man likely wet the bed as a kid." Until I realised she wasn't talking about when he was a kid. He withdrew from her and was clearly upset and she was angry with him for being upset with her. When she demanded he talk to her, he told her she humiliated him in front of their son and she viciously snapped back that he embarassed himself when he wet the bed. I cannot fathom how this woman could possibly fail to see the disrespect in her initial willingness to share such an embarassing thing with a child, whom might at some point tell his mates, who will tell their mates who will tell their parents. Then to humiliate him a second time for being upset. Some women are hopeless.

I actually just realised, when I was growing up, noone was talking about women 'respecting' men. Only the other way round.

Remember what they used to tell women about domestic violence: One hit and you leave, or to confront it by saying "one more and I'm out of here." For women, with less physical strength, DISRESPECT is the equivalent of that first hit, and if you accept it, you are floating downstream in the relationship and will have to confront it immediately to get back to neutral. "Did you just MEAN to disrespect me? Because if you did, I'm out of here." Imagine what you would tell your daughter to do in such a situation of violence, and then apply it to yourself about disrespect.

I just sent this video to every woman I know. If I disappear please contact the authorities! Great stuff Doctor. Thanks as always!

It’s important to vet potential relationship partners for narcissism. You do this by seeing how they react and respond to disagreements and stressful situations. Men need to avoid beautiful narcissists! Exhibit a) Johnny Depp

"No man has the obligation to answer to you" Worst moment to ask for a like 😂😂😂

1. Inappropriate questioning. 2. Granting Permission. 3. Surveillance

Respect comes from POSSIBILITY OF CONSEQUENCES.

Women enjoy a double standard when it comes to this issue: If a woman hits a man, it’s displayed as playful or “she had a good reason for it”. Also, a lot of men refuse to stand up for themselves and speak out against disrespect out of the fear of losing their gf or wife. However, women only respect men who have boundaries and communicate them. Remember: You get what you allow! Btw, this goes to women as well. Adding + Women will test their partners on how much disrespect they tolerate. This is how they filter out weak men and I think it happens unconsciously to some extend. This is just a hypothesis - debate me on it.

Men, do not hesitate for one moment to put a restraining order against your female partner if you feel your safety and health is in jeopardy. Placing a permanent restraining order on my female ex-partner was absolutely the wisest protective move of my adult lifetime. My only regret is not doing it years earlier. Men, be safe!

If a woman is trying to micro manage you…..RUN!

I left my ex-wife for being constantly disrespectful. Oh, and for cheating, but mostly it was the disrespect. The many and varied small ways that she would show disrespect, as well as overt disrespect like shouting in my face or interrupting me when I was speaking. We had many conversations about respect but she never did quite grasp how to be respectful, nor did she understand why it was important to me. I remember her saying at one point "all you talk about is respect this and respect that" like she really couldn't understand why her being so disrespectful was a problem for me. I had to walk away when she made it clear she had no intention of changing how she treated me. I'll always remember the shocked look on her face when I took my ring off and put it on the table next to her before walking away. That's the only way of dealing with a combative and disrespectful woman. Don't fight, don't argue, just walk away.

Disrespect is a massive deal breaker. That's the end of the road. Nothing to discuss any further.

Spot on. What a sad state of society that man are simply asking to not be disrespected, forget about respect, just don't disrespect us.

Disrespect comes down to lack of trust. I've dated women who've second guessed my decisions in various ways, which felt like she didn't trust my opinion. I dated someone who would ask my opinion and dismiss it only to later tell me her therapist said something groundbreaking, which was the same thing I told her a few weeks prior. Another woman I dated felt like dating an overbearing knit-picking micromanaging mother.

In respects to women, many may respect a man consciously while inadvertently disrespecting him subconsciously. In other words, it is crucial to note why men should never pedestalize women regardless of reciprocity because men and women are not equal by any means and ultimately abide by different standards and different expectations.

critical judgement or talking about private matters with her friends or online and talking about their BF/husband to others in any negative way is terribly disrespectful.

"The ability to ask questions is a privilege to those with more power.."

This video reminds me of one of your previous videos and a quote that really stuck with me: 'Catering to a woman's emotionality against your better judgment is a form of cowardice born out of a scarcity mentality.' Men, stand your ground and establish healthy boundaries. If she fails to comply and resorts to disrespect, bail. It's as simple as that. We have to learn to respect ourselves if we expect to be respected by others.

I like the fact you dont edit out the little hiccups in the videos. Makes it feel more genuine and direct which adds to the weight of the message. Thank you for everything you do

One form of disrespect is lying. Being with a female that believes her own lies ( So in her mind she is not lying) is next level b.s. . Yeah, I dumped her like last week's garbage.

Excellent video as always Dr. Taraban, but my goodness... what a sad world we live in where a professional therapist has to explain this to people. Your work is more needed then ever, keep it up.

Everything I just heard is completely true. Years of analysis, research, psychology, logic are summarize in here. Congratulations!

Ladies, have you ever found yourself in a situation where your man makes a mistake and gets lost? Perhaps you've suggested that he ask a stranger for directions, only to be surprised by his response. Ever wonder why your well-intentioned suggestion doesn't elicit the reaction you anticipated? Picture this: You've prepared a meal for your family, a task you've mastered countless times. However, this time, a distraction causes you to burn the rice. You know you've made a mistake, and so does your husband. Everyone is aware of your culinary skills. Suddenly, your husband stands up, heads outside, flags down the first woman he sees, and invites her into your home to teach you how to cook rice. The reaction you'd have in that situation is likely the same as your partner's when you make a similar suggestion to him. In both cases, the respectful approach is to give your partner the space to rectify their mistake.

Men need to own themselves, be soverign. This may/will come with some consequence, but better to go alone. Time alone will turn the tables.

I’m disagreeing with some of this. If you are in a legally binding, committed relationship, you are equally obligated out of respect for each other to at least inform the other - if not ask permission to do certain activities. In a marriage relationship particularly, you are no longer obligated only to yourself and your own time. It is not just about you anymore. If either my wife or I are going to spend the night out with friends, we always inform the other, at least to see if they had any plans that might conflict with our own. We usually don’t have any problems with this, but schedules can conflict and it is just a matter of mutual respect that we consider the other when making plans. Just another perspective.

I have experienced too much disrespect from my wife. Thank you for sharing this very important information

Men don’t need ask permission, but relationships is voluntary action. If you do not care about whether what you do would impact anyone, do not check with the woman, the woman also have the right to walk away.

Great job doctor. As always, serving the hard truth. You are doing a great service to man kind!

I just found this channel today and I am so glad I did. I especially appreciate this episode, it has helped me realize so much about my own toxicity. Thank you for sharing!

Doc they realize it, they know.

This is what prompted me to end my relationship just after New Years Best decision I've made thus far this year

Disrespecting men is encouraged vigorously these days.

Great episode. You absolutely nailed it: I perceived all three mentioned behaviors are disrespectful and they always led to a more or less intense pushback and negative reaction on my end. Now that I'm soon to be divorced, I can't believe that I tolerated those repeated offenses for so long.

Those obvious ways women disrespect men aren’t particularly obvious to women

I had an ex who was extremely jealous, and I didn’t know this until about two months into the relationship. Anyway, she disrespected me by throwing a tantrum if I made certain decisions without her (decisions that had little to do with her) and surveillance of who I was texting and calling (messages in a family group chat, or interacting with females in professional settings). The surveillance even became very personal, like watching who I was looking at when we went out on dates or errands together. I wasn’t cheating, but she made it seem that way. I was never outright disrespectful to her intentionally (and I apologized if I was), but she insisted that I was being disrespectful all the time. I didn’t know that any of this was disrespect until much later, after the breakup. But I’m learning from this experience.

Men need to hear this as much as women.

If she feels the need to keep tabs on her man because she either doesn't think he can look after himself, or she doesn't trust his fidelity... she should just find someone else.

K the survellience part is true but asking questions and checking in is also what equals and collaborators do. You can't even get through the first date without asking each other questions, so that whole idea is just silly. The checking in is common courtesy and also healthy collaboration. Especially if there are intertwined lives and child care involved. I can't imagine anyone would be happy if their spouse didn't check in before going out for drinks with their friends after work and skipping dinner and leaving the other partner with the kids, and probably worried, too. Again, silly

67 year old lifelong bachelor here. I've ALWAYS acted as the Good Doctor describes here in my (infrequent) committed relationships with women over the years. And THAT, my friends is why I am a lifelong bachelor..

Ome of the things i likes the most from you videos, contents aside, Is that it's not edited, and i never get bored. It's such an amazing talent

I'm learning a lot from your videos, Orion. Thank you so much also for this specific episode for us ladies! 🙏 A lot seems common sense, but hearing it put into words directly and clearly makes it so much more tangible and graspable. I appreciate your work bunches. Kind regards, Anke (a woman from/in Germany) 🌸

Reminds me of a single mother I was getting to know on a romantic level. We had great moments, but she'd had these catty & demanding outbursts "You've gained weight..You should shave your body hair...You want me to pay for it?? That's not what a gentleman does!!....Can't or won't? [meet up with sex] what are you afraid of?? Well I'm not going to beg you." I asked her would she talk to her boss like that, I was met with "I make suggestions all the time," and that later lead to "I'm a single mother, I'm used to being in charge." Turns out she was being rather truthful, her whole daily life was high-strung argumentative with those around her. She didn't want a BF, she wanted someone else to argue with and control. We're still friends, but I'm so glad we never had sex. Here's a dating hack: Pay attention to how she treats her parents, siblings, or kids (if applicable), not an absolute, but it's an indication of she's going to organically treat you.

This is the ONE thing that women I like MUST bring to my "table"

I am a woman and I agree. I never question my man. He has all the freedom to do whatever he needs.

Super concise disclaimer in the video, just incredibly clear communication. Much respect!

Women feel that all these double standards constitute “equality.” Therein lies the problem.

Only disagreement is women asking men about their intentions (Dating, friendship, networking or marriage). Women, especially western women need to date with intention.

Definitely a solid point I will share with friends who need the message.

Blimey! So fundamentally eye opening. (I can now immediately recognise that I regularly fall into the 'weak' group of men who are more than partly responsible for this state of affairs by simply allowing it to be pervading).

I lived through it and accept my part of my responsibility for allowing the disrespect. Thank you for putting into words what I could not

This is actually a very good in-depth review of why i had so much stress in previous relationship's with family most of the time

Excellent topic precise accurate, spot on. The illustrations and examples are clear and meaningful. Thank you

One of the best analysis I have ever watched on YT!!! I correct myself: it is the best!

"This is how women disrespect men without realizing it" No sir they realize it, they just don't care because they don't fear repercussions of what they do and say Your take on women not disrespecting their bosses was spot on They know how to control their mouth when it comes to that because they fear losing their job

Holy moly, that into, disrespect is different to not respecting. I've been shouting this from the rooftops

I really appreciate your content. I grew up with a mother who was disrespectful to my dad and in my early relationships I was mindlessly doing some of those hurtful things. It’s scary how much long term damage parents can do. I didn’t even realize I was doing anything wrong and why there was so much negativity in my relationships until reading and watching stuff like this.

Excellent summary surrounding the subject. Objective and concise analysis!

Checking in with someone you love respect and care for, and are in a committed relationship with is called Being Considerate. Especially if the way the time is spent has an Impact on the other person. This is not rocket science. Its not about permission, its about consideration, clear communication and agreements.

I found you by searching a topic, then quickly became aware that I was supposed to find this page in general. I’ve had a problem with emasculating men for a long time. I know it was learned from my childhood. It’s something I’d like to fix within myself, so these videos are making a big difference for my mindset. Could you do one on how to nurture vulnerability from a man’s standpoint?

The argument that parents can go into their child's room because everything belongs to the parent is also the main reason a lot of those parents who don't respect their kids' privacy never hear from them in adulthood again. Respect everyone, no relationship is guaranteed, not even parent-child.

Man, the set up of that living room looks great! Excellent natural light, tasteful decor, nice built-ins. Also, this video was done very well! I’m in a good mood.

I've never really been in a serious long term relationship before. As a young inexperienced man, this was valuable information for me as someone who doesn't really know what to beware of. Ive only recently heard the term infantilize in the context of a controlling parent so it's a little eye opening to know that could happen in a relationship. Thanks, I have a lot of work to do myself with self esteem, self respect and self leadership.

I asked a woman if she thought that it was disrespectful to ask a man to hold her purse. They didn't think it was big deal no matter how much i explained it to them. Protect sons gentleman

First point already nailed it❤. A lot of women act like they have a higher right to demand questions and to interview the man. Yes women are a bit more vulnerable and are more selective often when it comes to choosing a s. partner but this still does not give them the right to ask and demand in a disrespectful manner. Respect is given on the same level!

As far as asking permission goes, there's a limit to what a man can do without asking permission. A man can't for example just get up and decide to travel alone to China and spend 5000$ if they're married with 3 kids. That would be very disrespectful towards the woman. In relationships, there are non written rules and if the man is making a life changing decision, the man should check with the wife out of love, respect and consideration for her feelings. For example, he should ask her if she's okay with him seeing his ex as friends. Men cannot live in this "my way or the highway" mindset because women are simply going to leave them if they feel their emotions, boundaries and ideas aren't respected. A relationship has boundaries and rules and out of respect and consideration for the other partner, both partners should always make sure their partners are okay with their actions. You wouldn't want your woman to do hard drugs right ? Well, it goes both ways.

Dr. Orion. Respect is a two way street!

I don't understand this "do not ask questions" thing. Well, if you're married, yes, you're entitled to know the whereabouts, goals and endeavors of your husband (same goes to the husband's questions to the wife). Yes, there's power envolved, but the power belongs to the comitment itself, not to the husband or the wife. "Granting permission": agreed, but only if we're talking about the dating phase. The "his/her own money" is a single person thing and, as long as things are like that, the advice is 100% right. Right to privacy: IF you have a reason to suspect your SO is cheating on you in any way (sexually, financially, emotionally, you name it), no matter the gender, maybe it's time to revaluate the relationship itself and TALK about your insecurities. Treating like a child: if you are with a guy/girl that makes you do that and then complain to you about it, RUN AWAY. FAST.

Very nice information. Thanks brother!

I liked this. I definitely have mildly done all these in my marriage. Thanks!

Snooping through children's rooms until they're 18 is a good way to end up in a retirement home. The older the child, the more respect they should receive, otherwise s/he will become (normaly) angry or/and irresponsible, through their adolescence and adulthood. If I had caught my parents snooping through my room at 12 I would've been pissed. And an angry tween with full knowledge of where you keep your pillows is a nightmare, never mind one that knows where you keep your most prized possessions. Even the most meek and well behaved kids can and will retaliate, if not immediatly, then when they can. We have long memories and keep grudges, even unconsciously. A few decades wait is nothing to someone who doesn't even know they're holding a grudge. This comment is in response to the part where you say a parent has the right to snoop through their child's room.

It felt refreshing to watch this, validating that i'm not alone in what i went through. I'm still scarred from my ex 12yrs ago, anytime i feel lustful for someone new over all these years i'm quickly reminded of that experience and i pull back. She was like a mad teacher, always questioning, eye rolling, arms crossed, saying my mum really screwed me up just because we had some intense family stuff happen which wasn't my mums fault (she meanwhile had a picture perfect country upbringing), she manipulated me to get engaged to her or the relationship was finished, manipulated me to get pets i didn't want to in order to stave off her innate need to have a baby which i didn't think we were ready for (and we weren't!!). All i did was go to work every day, karate every second night, go for regular runs she'd not want to join in on because it's too much fitness, I'd pay for everything because she was at uni, I'd come home and clean the kitchen she'd mess up terribly trying to bake, I'd clean the house on my days off because she didn't value cleanliness like I did (apparently "unrealistic standards" {maybe compared to living on a hobby farm in the bush without any chemicals}), I'd do the lawns because that's apparently the mans job. She cracked the biggest drama episodes, partly because she was a Drama/English major at uni, she'd literally bang her head against the wall and slide down to the ground crying because we won't have babies or because i kept her waiting until i proposed (we were only together 2yrs). She'd correct my English all the time, slam all my accents, slam all my jokes and take them literally (wrongly). After i split up with her, she was immediately adamant that she's good and i'm bad, tried turning on me and turning all our friends against me, successfully.. and within 3 months she's got a new guy and she's gotten herself pregnant. I've seen a lot of behaviors of hers in a lot of females so I've avoided them like the plague. It's sucked not having much or any loving for so many years but at least I've been able to have my peace.

This is very much needed

Thank you for this video. I have a man who has worked with me and has continuing to work with me, and I am blessed for that. thank you for explaining disrespect from a man’s point of view in a way that can be understood by women.

wow this is actually deep. I'm guilty of the questioning one. usually it's because I believed a guy was lying to me, and it turned out that he was lol. but I guess next time I should figure it out without asking. and when I know, just leave. but then I'd be accused of not communicating.

This was excellent, Orion. Thanks. I know you mentioned this was a two-part, so you may cover it in the next video, but I would love to also hear your thoughts on "testing" behavior, which I have found is the most common form of relational disrespect I've run into. Ie, the same arrogance/entitlement/childishness at play in the behaviors you've mentioned causing one partner to constantly "test" the quality (or honesty or strength or whatever) of their partner to "prove" themselves as a good enough partner. As a side note: I actually think this has gotten worse *because* of the modern dating/red-pill-o-sphere emphasis on "high value." Of course, a genuinely high-value person would never accept the unquestionably low-value behavior of constantly trying to test everyone's value around them: the whole purpose of being high value is that *I don't have to answer to* your "standards" of "value." Ironically, one of the key giveaways of a low-value person is their constant focus on evaluating others' "worth" and whether it's "good enough" for them as opposed to simply working on their own lives and naturally expecting the people in your life to match that energy. There's nothing more undermining of one's own value than to be a person who constantly has to remind others how rich, good looking, successful, etc. you are - *truly* great people do not have to prove themselves to anyone other than themselves, and demanding that they do so (especially in a relational context) is both presumption and disrespect of the highest orders.

This is such a good message!!

Another excellent video! Thanks!

Thank you doctor, almost done watching all your videos. I enjoy listening to intersexual dynamics in pyschology very much

I think under some situations owing the person's an answer to their questions regarding where you are and what you're doing are equal for both parties. When investing in an relationship you should be able to know if your investment is rightfully placed, which should go both ways since both are investing in the relationship.

Thanks, Dr Orion!

Thank you for this video lots of helpful information.

Really interesting. Im not in love with my current girlfriend and there are plenty of issues with our relationships but for some reason its hard to end it. And now I understands why. Its actually because she is really good in following those 3 steps. And that makes me feel that she is different from my previous relationships. feels really good. 100% agree that disrespect might be a deal breaker.

I always thought, asking questions, is a Sign of interest.

Thank you, great video❤

Truthful and thoughtful.

I disagree if a woman ask me what school I attended or where do you see yourself in five years I wouldn’t find it disrespectful simply a conversation starter. If a woman asked me, why did I break up with my last girlfriend I still wouldn’t see it as disrespectful. If I tell her that I am not comfortable discussing it, and she pry and keeps asking if I cheated or string her along then I would find her line of questioning disrespectful sense she would be breaking a boundary that I established

If a woman DISRESPECT it’s because she looks down on you and thinks she can do better. If u cut her off she will actually respect you more for standing ur ground…. However if she gets too disrespectful and you cut her off and she comes back after a few weeks or months it’s because whoever she thought she could get that was better than you ….didnt want her back, so u NEVER take a woman back, i know it sucks especially when u really like a girl but if you talk to her about disrespect and she continues to do it and u cut her off chances are there was another guy she respected more and she’s only coming back after a few weeks or months because that guy wouldn’t put up with her ….no matter how much u love a girl ….learn to walk away, the only way u should ever let her back into ur life is to use her just for sex, nothing else

Doctor you're always on point

Thanks man.. you teach me so much insight of how Men should be.

Thank you🌺

A lot of women are never told these things and never think about it. I believe a woman won't disrespect you if you are her best option, but then again I know some women are emotional roller coasters and sometimes things are more complicated than that. You could very well be her best option but she's so out of touch to even know it.

You never have to answer any of those questions you have the right to remain silent so the person who has the most information has the most power

She settled. She has no burning desire for her man; therefore, she spews her misery onto her man. Never stay with a woman who has no desire for you. It’s a miserable way to live. Divorce or break up and walk no matter the financial or emotional cost because it’s a man’s duty to always self improve and live a life of positivity. Otherwise the man will become extremely bitter over time which never ends well.