Do it, except have a reason. I did the same thing. I think it would have been better if I figured that out first. What do you need that you don't have.

Same here . Im sick and tired of being sick and tired.

Give yourself some time. As Dr. John says, and I paraphrase, Run to something, not from something.. I don't know your situation, so all I can do is generalize. Get some counseling of some type. Maybe a career counselor, or a family therapist. Maybe just go back to old fashioned family values, like telling kids NO and disciplining them. Try to figure out what you want to do first, then develop a plan. Just getting a plan together sometimes is all it takes to feel better because you don't feel trapped. (I am talking to myself here) In the meantime, lots of HUGS.

Dr.John you are awesome.

I have had that thought recently too just grabbing my dogs and getting the heck out of dodge.

Hi there, I just wanted to let u know how spot on your post is, I 💕it!a real man,( not running away) ✌️🦋

@sylviaguenther-zc9lg reminded me of my dad. My mom didn't know pain. I now, do. My dad had a great paying job. Then he got hurt and my mom had to work. The house burned down, my dad's ex tried to rake him over the coals, the family courts helped his ex just destroy him and my mom had to be part of that suffering. My dad deserved so much better, but so did my mom. However, men don't get the help they deserve. It's incredible if people had my pain for over a year and were forced to work during that discomfort how blessed they'd feel with just the basics. People can't be pleaded but they can be humbled and reminded. I was put in an uncomfortable journey by God too. I hope someday we can all learn from each other about life. Money isn't everything when you're down and out. People are who come to help you get back up again. So when there's no one there what keeps you strong? Experience. I hope my experience with what this man is going through and other women know keep going. Pray to God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. It's really hard because its so exhausting but when you're settled and listening, you'll feel it.

Amen. I hope he levels with his wife so she can appreciate him more.

Guy needs to get laid is all .

Yes ! And also not blaming anyone else.

Jaden, sending you a warm hug from North Texas and yes I am going to pray for you.

Jaden ...many prayers for you from me and my family outside of Boston

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Lord, wrap your arms around your child, Jaden. Give him courage and inspiration for each day. Amen.

I just quit my federal job over the same reasons you did. Contemplating moving back home to be closer to my family but have no idea of my future and where I want to go or what I want to do. I’m a veteran and suffer from severe ptsd and everything I know career-wise and qualify for I do not enjoy whatsoever. No kids and single 36 years old. Not anchored into anything. Maybe I should join the circus

Sending love and peace Jaden ❤️🙏🏽

It's true. They have a whole house on their backs plus a nagging wife at times.

Words cannot describe the amount of this that happens on basically a daily basis for many. Society said we can't speak on it, "be a man" etc.

I feel this as the woman

@@Living1232 A lot of people do including yourself, you would keep scrolling if you didn't.

It seems lot more like women suck it up and do all these mundane tasks it while men don't. Only men have a greater need to be congratulated or encouraged for doing what they shouldn't have to be told to do. Every single couple I know has a dynamic where the women do more with the house and kids, and most of them also contribute just a much financially. Men are simply entitled and arrogant. They have been told all their life they can have it all without merit, want to be the king of their castle or go and have a whopping FIVE kids but they can't even do everyday tasks. The fragile male ego has always been around. They underperform but have an above average desire to be told how great they are. It is a lack of humility.

I love and respect Rick SO much,....and I've never met him. What an amazing guy. I dearly hope his wife understands what she has in him and appreciates him and TELLS him.

No No no no no no no no C

deserve is a woman's word

He does.😔

​@@realHampsonOk.(??) What term to use instead?

i know

​@@jayhanson-hs5vgit effin sucks bro

I have almost the exact situation of this guy. 48, (mom) 5 kids, (3, 7, 10, 17, 21) cook and clean and play with kids 20 out if 24 hours a day. I just want to sit in my closet and cry so my kids won’t see me. I’m just so exhausted with the whole thing- but when the mom says it, she is badd. When the dad says it- everyone thinks he’s great. It’s so sad.

@@Teenywing It's not a gender thing.. parenting is hard no matter what gender you are. Both parents work and share responsibilities.. it's a lot and most of the time the parents are completely exhausted and don't have the time or energy to focus on the marriage and their relationship.. if spouses come together and take time for each other and support each other, really communicating about what they need from one another and building each other up, helping each other and working as a team.. it makes all the difference.. raising kids is the most exhausting work ever and there isn't an instruction book; we have to navigate it together and that takes work. I had five kids and homeschooled.. l was exhausted and look back and wonder how I did it. I agree with John.. this husband needs to come together with his wife, he needs to hear that what he does matters.. he does not suck! So sad that he feels this way.. I get it because I didn't always do the greatest job supporting my husband, telling him how much l appreciated him and what he did for our family. Both these people are overwhelmed, and need to come together in support of one another. They also need to have time alone to 'date' ..something that doesn't happen much with five kids.

Exactly. I have none

Not trying to be a d, but he didnt have to have 5 kids

The cards he was dealt? Having 5 kids is a CHOICE. Instead of “he’s doing the best with the cards he was dealt with” perhaps it’s “reap the whirlwind“

You have us. Feeling trapped is the worse feeling in the world. Reach out to someone.

Don't give up! Give it to God.

Hey maybe we could be travel buddies!

How are you doing? it has been a couple of months, sine you posted this, are you doing better?

At some point it's hard to even reach out to the people who you think would undoubtedly support you and maybe even said they would support you ... but it's just too hard since you're physically, emotionally and mentally exhausted. I've been there and I've done that. I don't have a magical advise except a few cool things I heard and which helped me: do the smallest possible thing you can think of which would help you. That little thing could be very hard to do so pat yourself on that back if you do it. Feel positive about it. Another thing is: carve out time for some physical activity. Go for a walk for example. Even if it's just a really short distance, it seems to help.

He is a man that’s just how it is

Oh wow you pointing this out brought tears to my eyes

That’s how most good men live. We slowly die, part by part over years while we put our wives and kids first. The only time men get flowers is when we die, because regret is more powerful than gratitude.

Yeah. And the worst part is nobody is worthless. And some people are really good actually. But no matter how good you are and how much people tell you how good you are, once you grew up feeling worthless you always will feel you suck.. its a long road

Same and agreed with the previous reply. It’s a long road to unlearning and relearning

Same thing happened to me. You’re not alone!

Yes 😔

You're doing Awesome

But in the US people are working and living in a brutal, inhumane system working long hours with little support. Extended families are seen as something to get away from rather than support ststems. Healthcare, especially mental healthcare is horribly expensive and not available to everyone. People are expected to move away from their families and know all about raising children. They don't. How could they possibly?! Then it all goes downhill quickly.

@user-ob7zw7qr5o I don't live in the US, nor am I a waitress or have a minimum wage job, but I have sympathy for those people stuck in that system. As far conditions in the US being better than than those of North Korea, they are. But that doesn't mean that they are good, or even adequate.

Men can be so stoic that we women often don't know they have emotions. I was shocked in my mid thirties to learn men actually had feelings because I'd never seen them expressed.

Decision fatigue is a real thing. And I think a lot of people are suffering from it and don’t realize there’s so much going on. There’s no break.

Facts.

I thought the same thing. He needs professional help who can help him to talk about everything just like here; otherwise, he can quit one day over the sudden. I am happy he reached out. I hope dr delony will follow up with him to make sure he is safe. I think at this point it is became dr DeLong responsibility to make sure rick will get professional help

Very well said.👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

It makes me sad that people don’t take men’s mental health serious. I know work is stressful. His wife Sounds like an ungrateful nag. I understand she needs help too but she shouldn’t btch at him when he’s trying.. I make sure my husband has his outlets even encourage it because I want him to be ok mentally. He’s a wonderful husband ,dad and provider but work stresses him. I rub his back after work / try to be his safe place. Yes I need things from him and he makes it happen so he deserves PEACE . At the very least .

This guy is gonna be okay!

​@zuliahunt this Dr is great amazes me❤

It's harder and harder to be a man. We're expected to be Hollywood perfect. This guy works hard and his wife doesn't praise him. Would she prefer an alcoholic? He's honest. He earns his paycheck.

He’s a giver but not a receiver ❤

theres plenty of us out there

💚💛❤️

They are miserable

We’re everywhere

I never found a guy like this. I tried. Married for 17 years and he cheated with his secretary and blew our family apart. This was 8 years ago and he still won’t talk to me about our kids. Sad

We lose what we take for granted .

I have...and the feedback was just as bad.

The thing is too, men think that they will be looked down on when the reality is most women love the idea of their husband sharing feelings and talking about stuff like this. It's actually one of my favourite qualities in a guy. I hope we can reduce the stigma of men thinking they can't be emotional or feel anxiety. They aren't bloody robots!

Unfortunately the overwhelming majority of women can’t or don’t want to deal with it. They say they want men who open up, but reality proves to be very different. You may want to hear struggles from your brother, your nephew, or your dad, but not your husband/lover. There are few things as a man you can do to turn a woman off more than being vulnerable. Myself and married men the world over can confirm this. What the caller needs like most American men is male friendship.

@@Evil-Rod-Farva women say and do two.different things. His wife will not like him anymore. She will cheat

Ever been a man? Then we don’t need your pat on the head.

Praying for you. You are such a wonderful person.

Seconding this. His worth is not in his performance of any of the things he mentioned, it’s in his sense of duty and responsibility. This is one of the few calls that wasn’t all me, me, me. I hope he knows he’s not a burden and that it’s ok for him to take up space, and that he’s still valuable even when he’s standing still and not producing anything at all

Yup. Sounds like he's married to a narcissist who has had his entire self-esteem wiped out. So sad. Why do the decent med & women end up with utter A-holes

Essential.

For most of us, even an unsupportive partner is unattainable

Sounds like his wife is an ungrateful person who constantly complains about everything. His life sounds like a nightmare. Had an ex like that, never again.

we know that dang, don’t you understand if these women keep acting like they got the nuts 🌰 there’s going to be more great valuable men who stay alone & depressed. suicide rates only going up. no point in looking at the gender stats. mostly young men

Congratulations to your son. We need him. And no doubt you are a fabulous mother.

This is an amazing comment. I have 3 special needs children, and 2 of them were very premie. It gives me hope. I know one day they are going to catch up to where they need to be. I feel it in my bones!!

I realize this was 2 years ago but I'm so happy for you and your Son. How did everything turn out?

​@NeiveVeve hope is good thing❤

Trt bro

I am praying for you and I hope everything gets better!!! 52 is still a good age to go after what your heart desires!!! Give it your all starting today and everyday!!

You’re still relatively young at 52. You can be 53 and still be in the same boat, or you can be 53 and be someone who’s making changes. It’s daunting, the prospect of doing a complete about face overnight. But that’s not realistic. Instead, make small, incremental changes to your routine every day. We all have regrets, but often times that’s due to comparing ourselves to others. If that’s you, stop it.

53 is young, you can make changes. God bless you.

I do rescue. Dogs are great. They appreciate all! They love unconditionally. Plus, walking them is great exercise & you meet other "doggie people." What's not to love? Check it out...

I’m glad you were here to hear the call. This call made me cry. So glad thus guy was so vulnerable.

Yup

My brother has 4 and one with special needs. He runs on high stress 100% of the time 😢 I worry about him

which is why you need to re-consider having more than 2 kids. For these reasons. You can't be spittin out more than you can chew. Hurts you, AND the kids!

​@@RachelSings21 check on everytime

​@@markbrey52I have an only for thus very reason,single parent, it was brutal, but my spiritually kept,keeps sane❤

People put them self in these situations. Why?? Doesn't mean i feel sorry for him. But it's hard to raise children.

They are everywhere, most women don't give them the time of day because they consider them boring..

I hope you find someone, you're also very pretty. God bless

They better be ready to pull thier share of the weight, like his wife isn't. Oh, and FIVE KIDS.

We’re everywhere but women’s standards are absurd generally.

The mom has a critical spirit and the kids learned that. Shame on her. She may do it because she doesn’t feel deserving but by doing it, she doesn’t deserve him!!!

Sending you love ❤

Hugs

Me too

I feel the same way and don’t have a wife or kids.

We are so many to feel this way. Sadly, we barely share and hide, we rather expose fake garbage in social media… In the mean time, we all see other men pretend they have everything under control, until we reach the breaking point of no return !

I Testify to you that things can get better, You are Loved by a Heavenly Father, and if you don't believe that, know that I Love You. I don't have to know anything about you to Love you and Appreciate your Existence and Voice on here. I hope your day is good today, I hope this year gets easier for you. You're not Alone in this.

Sad truth is no one cares Kas they all on same page

Also a great call for those of us who might have our own Rick that we're not appreciating enough.

Your words don't mean anything. This man is going to keep suffering. He needs these words from people he is immediately related to. Not from you. But I know he most likely won't get it. Throwing words around on the Internet is cheap. Practically caring for another person is expensive.

@@SK-tk6bi I meant no disrespect and I apologize if I offended you. I actually agree with you that the love and concern need to come from those closest to him. I was just sharing my feelings and my heart. I have watched many friends suffer with depression- some who have taken their lives. I have been with people in the moment and through their suffering and struggles. That’s probably why I responded to this. I wish you well on your journey and thank you for sharing your response.

@@juliemariariley3212 I also did not really mean to get angry at you. I just know the frustration of reading supportive messages from strangers but not from people who are closest to you. You really intended to help the man, so I am sorry that I criticised your comment.

@@SK-tk6bi no worries 🌻 I didn’t take it badly- I could tell you were frustrated. Thank you for your willingness to share your thoughts and your honesty!

The world needs more people like you, Julie! ❤

I'm sorry your going through this. Have you considered working with animals. Maybe volunteer for a local rescue.

@dianeditonno3569 thanks. Yes I have considered volunteering at an animal shelter. Why do you ask though?

Do meditations

You're not alone :)

Talk to your doctor, he's there for you, there's nothing wrong with you, you are tired, mentally exhausting you are every woman's dream,you do so much,blessings to you sir❤yes,you are wonderful!

If there's no love, then all these efforts mean nothing.

Thank you for your advice, I'm in the same boat and it's good to see there may be a light at the end of the tunnel.

YAYYYYYYY

Therapy is all about the past and we can't change the past so what exactly did therapy give you in order to heal you? Sounds like some BS to me.

@@asmrfoodieuk7965 Therapy is def overrated, but it IS useful in SOME situations.

@@Desmond-Dark it's only useful in teaching others how to treat other people, to navigate life for those who have zero self awareness.

Jessica, My wife left me earlier this year, due to my depression and defensive anger. I am in so much pain I often contemplate suicide. BUT, I have 3 little children who need a funny, kind, responsible resilient Daddy. For Kaylee’s sake, I’m not going anywhere. Thank you for your story, I cannot imagine your pain. Take your hurts to Jesus. He died to break the power of sin and He rose to life to show us that we can live forever.

@@jackcoleman5955 I’m so sorry about your situation. I know how important it is to have someone by your side especially when struggling with depression and defensive anger. I pray that God be with you and give you the strength and courage to keep going every day and that He surrounds you with people who are going to love you and lift you up. It is hard, but I know you can overcome it. Those girls are so lucky to have you and keep being the silly, goofy and loving dad.

I’m so sorry that you’ve had that to deal with. It is so painful and lonely to be here sometimes so I have struggled with those thoughts too. I wish you all the love and joy in the world and for us both to never give up ❤

I struggle too 😢

Me in 2024 :(

The kids are not the problem, we can carry a lot more burden than that. There obviously is a problem and that needs to be addressed. Wild guess would be that something in the marital relationship is amiss. Fix that and Rick can handle the world

​@charlesterrizzi8311 why anybody has 5 kids is beyond me - that absolutely *IS* a burden and it makes me wonder why on earth people do it.

I had 5 kids and my first one had Down syndrome. I managed pretty well and worked part time. My husband worked all the time. We did ok. My complaint is I attended so many meetings so long ago that I don’t attend any now. My daughter with DS is now 47 and goes to a workshop a days a week. Yes I am tired, but keep being a mother.

​@@ChrisAndCats because if they're not special needs, they're there for you when you're old and frail, they call you when you're lonely, they bless you with grandchildren, etc etc it's the best retirement plan ever have fun living alone in your 70s or 80s if your spouse goes first and that's all you had

​@@ChrisAndCats Maybe the wife was married before.

What are those basics?

@@blueStarKitt7924 imagine trying to drive around a huge truck with all your belongings and baggages. Except you barely have money to put fuel in this truck, and you have very little strength to haul it around. And you have no where to park it. Going “back to the basics”, means picking out of the truck what’s truly important (like your birth certificate, your cell phone, a few pairs of draws, a coat and a pair of shoes) and continuing on from there. Going back to the basics means letting go of alllllllll the things you are trying to carry through your life that are too heavy

@@brittanysapology9528 🤔🤔🤔

Praying for you. Don’t give up God loves you.

@@Sillyscents936 thank you for being a sweetheart. God loves you too. ❤️

I Appreciate You, Most of the Greatest people in History don't go down in the History books, but you are Loved. It's not just a waste and you will realize and see it soon on a day of Gladness, I Bless You with a wonderful day and to feel appreciated, Your Vulnerability is Commendable:)

@@thezionlifestyle thank you for your kind words of encouragement. I pray that you also have a blessed day of gratitude, friend.

17:22 17:22 17:41 and the k

I agree except for (all) women. Trust me. Not all women are loved unconditionally. Not at all.

You are incorrect in your assessment and propagating a very toxic viewpoint about genders again. Society fails both sexes at large because our society is sick. We fail both men and women because the current conversation in society is about men VERSUS women and not about how both sexes need eachother and how both sexes need to cherish and serve eachother. A society that is sick breeds sick individuals therefore, we can only heal when we start to have conversations like these ones.

Same here. It’s surreal that this video is what I know I needed to listen to.

I Bless you to understand how Loved you Are. and that Things can get better. fill your day with spreading kindness and Love to others, bushes and plants, bugs and rocks, to Everything, Do this for a whole year and Things will Magically work out for you. And you'll look back at the year and see how much of a difference that made in your life, Remember to always be honest while sharing compliments etc. It's like floating on your back vs trying to just keep your head up above the water. it helps somehow:) Let me know how that Goes! You'll Do Awesome!

Your wife is very lucky

I hear you.

Dude get out of that relationship and start rebuilding from within

I just want to say that you have to decide on what it is you are living for. Don’t put your value on that one person. You are not pathetic, you are more powerful than you can imagine. I love you and want to see you win in this life! You got this!! 😊

I've never been on a relationship and I'm desperate for someone to love like that... But it I opened up to my vulnerabilities and what I got back was: "you're pathetic", I'd tell her to go kick rocks even though it will hurt. If she thinks that it's pathetic for a man to suffer, for a man to try his all for everyone and feel exhausted... Then she's not the kinda person I would want to give my heart to. I suggest you realize your worth and seek someone who will value you completely... Keep fighting man, you're not alone in this and you can make it

Run away from that person dude, seriously. You’re not pathetic. Being vulnerable is not a weakness. Run from that person and find a community to share these feelings with.

But heres the thing, who is telling yall not to have emotions? Thats the issue.

​@@harlan5339women society

@@harlan5339 hi there, liked your reply spot on, but many men forget that life is not for U to struggle on your own this is why God has made a wonderful woman to help him through it! If of course he wants this✌️🦋

@@sylviaguenther-zc9lg if you can be emotional or cool with your loved ones, then what are you doing? Girls do it with their friends. Why do some guys feel they cant with their male friends? I can call all my friends and be emotional rn.

@@harlan5339 hi there, I believe this is what we in America call Manning up! being real,we all have our good days & breaking points as well but talking it out with someone U confide in thats Tough✌️ Real Human being 😉🦋

For sure. I kept thinking he's just a few steps ahead of me. Different details but headed at the same place to the same place.

Honestly, 5 kids is too many….and stop having them when there are already problems in your marriage….

You're not missing anything, they are great,my sons are, so grateful they are

How are you now? Praying you find some relief from the burdens of your mind. You've got this

so sorry.

I hate my life. God set me up for failure. I wish I could scream at God to turn down the fire. I am saved by the blood of Jesus but I am drowning in life. Jesus will beat me up at the Bema. “You didn’t trust me enough!”. I have failed God. I’m absolutely exhausted. My wife knows and she is exhausted. We have no grandparents to help. HELP GOD!!!!! 😩 😢

@@walljos314 I am taking care of my mother with Dementia. I have been at it about 7 years and recently had a breaking point. I have followed the Lord since I was young and this is the first time I have felt angry at God. He has allowed me to be in a spiritual desert for the last two years where I even questioned my faith. And yet, He is still with me and is renewing my strength. He has brought help and a new direction recently. How old are your children? Are there no government programs that can help with respite or therapy for your children? Can you reach out to the church for help? You are experiencing caregiver burnout and it can be so draining that it is hard to even think straight. I will be praying for you and your wife. Your comment really touched my heart and I wish you the grace and comfort of God.

@@walljos314praying for you now. I too have a special needs child. Understand totally.

Good for you! Happy to hear about your success! :)

I can relate and its nice to know I am not alone! Children arent the only path to burnout.

Be done and get out. He needs to grow more perspective on life by himself. He's crutching his problems on you. Stop taking it.

Oh, honey, just great big hugs. I am so so so sorry for your pain, you didn't deserve any of that horribleness. I grew up with very controlling narcissistic parents and also was always a "good girl" and spent the majority of my energy trying to be what everyone else wanted too. It has left me with some serious identity issues, similar to what you are struggling with, so I feel your pain and know how paralyzing it can feel. It sucks, and no one deserves that feeling. It would be a travesty if the abuse and neglect of your stepfather, mother and husband is allowed to continue to hold you back. They don't deserve that level of power, it is a vast injustice that they have occupied so much of your mind and your energy for so long. A good counselor can help you get that monster off your back, it has really overstayed its welcome. Who knows where life might still lead you!!! 52 is YOUNG. You have plenty of time to heal, to figure out what genuinely makes you happy versus what is unhealthy coping behavior, to find a calling that you enjoy. It is a great big huge world out there full of possibilities, and since you aren't sure of who you are or what you like, you have so many adventures to have and experiences to try as you discover yourself. What a gift that could be, if you are willing to accept it. What you have been up to this point does not have to dictate what or who you will be for the rest of your life. YOU get to write the rest of the chapters. You aren't your hoard, that's just a physical manifestation of the amount of unaddressed trauma burdening your mind. Therapy can help you sort that out and bring you peace, and then you can tackle what to do with the stuff. Trying to make sense of the stuff without making sense of yourself is not going to work, they are linked. You aren't the person your step father told you you were, and you aren't the person your husband said you were either. You were born as a beautiful baby girl full of potential and she hasn't gone anywhere, she's still right there inside of you waiting patiently to be discovered. She deserves your love and is so very worth the effort of fighting for. Please, get some help to heal from the abuse you suffered and find out who you truly are, because you deserve, and are fully capable of having, a future of peace, contentment and joy.

Jesus loves you. Sounds cheesy, I know that. I hope life works out better for you in the future. You deserve it. Choose you. I wish you well.

Amen❣

Amen❤

It's called marriage

The nagging and shaming are abusive. Let's just call it what it is. That's the part of the call I don't like. In any other situation you wouldn't ask an abuse victim to make amends with the abuser. Somehow when it concerns emotional abuse it's different? I don't think so.

Exactly!!!