“I’m in $20,000 of debt and she pays for everything. What’s the problem?”

Рет қаралды 129,909

Күн бұрын

Ramit Sethi of I Will Teach You To Be Rich talks to Melody and David, 39 and 45. They manage a picturesque multi-unit property which creates a unique money dynamic. David works as the property manager and has his own side business, but doesn’t pay attention to whether or not he’s making money, leaving Melody with a heavy burden.
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Can’t-miss moments
00:00:00 - 1: Opening
00:08:25 - 2: David describes his “suffocating” debt
00:16:17 - 3: Ramit can’t control his reaction to David’s debt situation
00:20:13 - 4: Why David says he hates money
00:25:00 - 5: How they make money from the land they live on
00:30:00 - 6: Melody struggles to say what the real problem is
00:38:30 - 7: Ramit breaks down the numbers
00:43:13 - 8: Melody asks “Where is all the money going?”
00:53:15 - 9: David feels sick to his stomach
00:59:00 - 10: Ramit tells David “I’d be extremely worried”
01:05:00 - 11: Ramit’s mind is blown: Melody never filed their marriage paperwork
01:10:50 - 12: Time is running out
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If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here: forms.gle/pjYMaLeThJM3z9uN6
Produced by Crate Media.

Пікірлер: 478

@ramitsethi Жыл бұрын

0:00 Please remember: These are real people who had the courage to come on my podcast and ask for help. Would you be willing to come on this podcast and share every detail of your financial life? Feel free to leave comments based on what you think, but remember that we are here to help in a supportive way, not to demean and criticize.

@JohnDoe-jq1br Жыл бұрын

What I didn't hear is what is happening to David's money. Is he losing money in his business? Obviously he doesn't know if his jobs are profitable, or how profitable. I was a contractor, knowing the cost of each job is extremely important, so that he knows how much to charge for the next job. Is David drinking, gambling, drugs, just where is his money going? David needs to do two things. Find our how much each job he does costs, and compare it to what he charges. The second thing is make that minimum payment, twice a month, make the same payment twice instead of once. He has to get out from under that 26% interest.

@jodief8371 Жыл бұрын

If he is maintaining her property that has rental income on it he should be invoicing her for the work. Why is this picking on his debt and ignoring hers, and his is for the business and hers is for what exactly? And why is she not supporting by helping him for the little time of maybe 1 or 2 hrs a week to tally the jobs orders. And why is she whining about him having some business debt when she owns the property solely and has some 95k in investments. Why not cash some investment to level the debt if the interest bothers her that much? I think she's holding the bag and hes working for free for her property and gets nothing in return but her whining that he's not doing enough. He needs to value himself more and then she will have more respect for him. She's probably bored in the relationship because shes been pushing him around for so long.

@pamelademaray8555 Жыл бұрын

Why don't they go to credit card debt counseling to get the interest on cards reduced to pay it off faster

@morkmckerr Жыл бұрын

Balance Transfer offer from a credit card (CC)? play them against each other to get that rate down......Someone will make money from your debt, but who wants to make the least while you go after the debt!!!! They will increase your limit to accommodate all of your debt if you explain your plan to pay off the debt....why? b/c they will make money & you will be a good customer with your plan.....Bring the CC onto your success team!!!

@lilio6442 3 ай бұрын

So curious where they are now. Honestly, I hope she dumped him.

@margaretbehre6461 Жыл бұрын

Something about this guy makes my skin crawl. But my heart goes out to Melody.

@hockysa 7 ай бұрын

Yeah I have similar opinions to him on money. I don’t care for it enough to be a driving motivator. But wtf. There’s so many moments where I’m saying this guys an idiot.

@user-go1lw7we3v 5 ай бұрын

Same!

@SessieHoops 4 ай бұрын

That's on you. I don't see that at all.

@jehan9 3 ай бұрын

Same. He doesn't see a problem. Self- praising.

@lilio6442 3 ай бұрын

Agree. Melody run like hell. You're better off alone.

@Betybobety Жыл бұрын

Not legally married = Free!! Go, girl. That man is an iceburg and his nonchalant attitude, the calm waters that will sink your ship.

@lilio6442 3 ай бұрын

Absolutely!!

@IAmebAdger 3 ай бұрын

Those follow-ups though

@JT-if2qh Жыл бұрын

She wants a provider. A partner. Not a child she has to plan and care for. She carries all that burden and he just lets her carry it. He "feels like he's in the best position he's ever been in in his entire life." Yeah, because his wife is doing all of the planning and fretting and stressing and making sure everything is covered. He's got it good. I feel so bad for her. She's doing her best not to nag and it is clear she genuinely cares for him and wants this to work. He seems clueless.

@tarody3953 Жыл бұрын

Agreed, it's a form of financial abuse. It's not as blatant as some, but is much more insidious.

@deirdrekiely6187 Жыл бұрын

He's not clueless - he knows exactly what he is doing - coasting with her as a security blanket. She's the real problem in that she can't set the REAL boundaries in her own life. Another woman who delusionally thinks she can get a man to change - after 16 years!!!!!

@petermulinzi1288 11 ай бұрын

is a provider a partner though?? coz to me it feels like wen u're a taker u're also that child she's dreading he is just curious

@Roobah 8 ай бұрын

Truth! What she really has is a manchild who is eventually going to need to be cared for by her 100% of the time.

@hypefine Ай бұрын

You ain’t wrong when you’re RIGHT!

@cleansoapmind 10 ай бұрын

Wow 90% of Ramit's episodes make me so grateful I'm single. No manipulation, no drama. Just me securing my future and enjoying myself. No complaints here!

@CharlotteRentals 9 ай бұрын

Omg I’ve thought the exact same thing during 80% of the couples calls

@sunshinedoesit8272 8 ай бұрын

I concur ❤😊 really happy I'm single!

@kloud1174 8 ай бұрын

Yeaaa....I gotta agree

@KatieManring 8 ай бұрын

I am thinking the SAME damn thing 😅

@urano4810 8 ай бұрын

Here I am, thankful I met my wife who impacted me so much that I forced myself to mature. I'm glad I learned these lessons while young, we just hit 5 years of marriage and I wish these couples nothing but the best.

@Bex_mylife Жыл бұрын

Girl, RUN! Seriously.

@floyddaye9068 Жыл бұрын

This is terrible advice, because if she gets rid of David who is going to do the work on the property? It’s going to come out of her own pocket which is going to have her paying more than she’s paying now short term thinking.

@tarat26 Жыл бұрын

@@floyddaye9068I haven't finished listening to all of this yet. But if they are not legally married, then he could file for bankruptcy couldn't he? As everything is in her name?

@jonathansaindon788 Жыл бұрын

He’s like a grown children. No accounting, no stress, no plan…

@jamesstpatrick8493 Жыл бұрын

Its love

@gwene.9912 Жыл бұрын

@@jamesstpatrick8493 what’s love got to do with it, in my Tina turner voice . 😂

@CA2SD Жыл бұрын

Optimistically, $20,000 is not bad to tackle. But the bigger problem is David. If this debt is paid off, I can see him taking advantage of credit line once again. Walk away. Let him survive on his own. He's so nonchalant about the issue and her concern.

@loveandjoy810 Жыл бұрын

All of these coaching sessions are so hard to hear and they really hit me in the gut. Melody is married to a man who probably never worked a regular job, has no social security coming to him, has no retirement savings and will have to work until he dies. I don’t know what the solution is for this highly financially incompatible couple. Melody’s fear is that her husband is going to take her down with him.

@lindabarron2181 Жыл бұрын

Do not count on there being any social security in the future.

@AndThatsRight Жыл бұрын

Bingo !

@suzanneemerson9787 Жыл бұрын

@@lindabarron2181 25% cut in Social Security benefits coming up very soon.

@bw988 8 ай бұрын

He is letting mommie take care of him

@Luckoftheirish1 6 ай бұрын

Self employed people will receive social security as long as they paid 12% in to it every year. When you are a w2 employee you pay 6 percent and your employer pays 6%. Whereas, when your self employed you have to pay the full 12 percent. HOWEVER, many of the self employed don’t pay into social security. They either aren’t educated about it. Or don’t bother to pay in to it.

@mariaerke7910 Жыл бұрын

I could feel the struggle here, it was hard for Ramit to talk to David, and David felt to me like passive aggressive and resistant. If I were Melody I would probably just wnd this relationship

@deirdrekiely6187 Жыл бұрын

Agree. You think after 16 years she would wake the hell up and smell the coffee. You cannot change another person.

@robertmontgomery8107 8 ай бұрын

Imagine having Ramit on a video call giving you one on one advice, and you decide it's time to yell, "I DON'T KNOWWWW", while throwing your hands up like a six year old. David should not be in business for himself. He needs to work for someone. Let Melody take over running the business.

@lowlowseesee 2 ай бұрын

Yep

@Mira-ty8it Жыл бұрын

Melody seems so kind, patient, and competent! I really wish them luck, this was a difficult episode to listen to

@Annoyin1321artist Жыл бұрын

She is really trying to hold it together.

@deirdrekiely6187 Жыл бұрын

She is too kind and patient - The word is *DOORMAT*.

@Roeminaya14 Жыл бұрын

She married a hippie, that’s all. Being with a hippie is really fun in your teens and 20’s. But then you want stuff, like a house, kids, vacations, to retire not penniless, and unless both people are hippies, that’s just not gonna work out for one of them in the end.

@jaddek.astrie3071 10 ай бұрын

😢scary.

@lilio6442 3 ай бұрын

He's a user. Hippies do save and invest. I know Hippies worth multiple millions. I love my Hippie friends ❤

@lyndapham4022 23 күн бұрын

He’s not an endearing Hippie unfortunately.

@flacadiabla3193 Жыл бұрын

It very much looked like a mother with her child relationship. He doesn't seem to want to grow up and take responsibility and live an adult life, while that's all she wishes. This is a great case of the saying Love is not enough.

@deirdrekiely6187 Жыл бұрын

^ ^ Exactly right. Love is not enough here. He's dragging her down.

@PrincessSharifa434 Жыл бұрын

Of course David is happy with where he's at. There are no natural consequences to his actions: Melody always takes care of it. The scary part is is that, if ANYTHING were to happen to Melody (health wise, financially, etc.), they are both in a not so good position. That being said, I hope he continues making positive progress and they can put this chapter behind them.

@knicoleyao Жыл бұрын

The fact that she has to tip toe gives me anxiety on what happens behind closed doors. He got me at "I can't wait for us to combine... blah blah." I was like, "okay girl that is stupid!"

@Annoyin1321artist Жыл бұрын

Melody is so patient, and all she wants is to be debt free. Her partner does not want it as bad as she does.

@danielpineda508 Жыл бұрын

David’s lack of urgency and awareness of his situation makes this hard to watch! He is acting like he has decades to get caught up. We all know time flies away faster than we can plan for it. I was surprised to hear their responses at the end. Hope this is the spark they needed to turn their lives around as a couple.

@rickyphoton Жыл бұрын

Good thing about their finance being separate is that she can leave and carry none of his irresponsibility with her. Which she should.

@gwene.9912 Жыл бұрын

She is actually following in her mother foot steps, from the story she gave. She seems to be afraid of him leaving her, so she not going to talk to him about money, she tip toe around when she speaking. Her husband is comfortable with his life.

@melhoman4728 Жыл бұрын

Oh I was in this situation. Married to a creative free spirit that couldn't charge ppl enough, didn't manage his time and ultimately I feel neglected family responsibility it was deeply painful to watch this for me. All the years I paid for things and covered costs while he never told me upfront his debts or discussed finances. The stress and anxiety it caused me is unmatched and I felt a total lack of safety. I'm not sure this guy will keep to his word with melody.

@pirateslife4me Жыл бұрын

My ex-husband kept being told "That's it?" when giving estimates. I encouraged him to bump them up 25% across the board, since he had a ton more jobs than he could complete, and he was in high demand. He didn't raise the bids for little old ladies, but other customers didn't even flinch when he raised them 25%. Like David, he was great at his trade but horrible with money 🙈

@jessicarogers9420 Жыл бұрын

At least he took some advice. They can tend to be so defensive. Great news!

@jr5557 Жыл бұрын

Yeah when the quality of work is there people are willing to pay more

@matthewsimon8615 3 ай бұрын

This is exactly what i was going to say to the exact percentage. Its not a business issue as much as charge more from loyal customers. But it is a mindset more than a numbers thing

@danieljacobs6921 Жыл бұрын

I listened to the podcast and at the end I was thinking he doesn’t get it. But I was so encouraged for him with his written response. I hope he leans into it.

@ramitsethi Жыл бұрын

I hope so, too

@lindsay3995 Жыл бұрын

As an outsider, it seems like forgetting that papers were all signed and ready to submit was pretty convenient. She immediately moves on from “We had a wedding” to “oh shoot I didn’t know the paperwork is locked and loaded” back to “If we got married…” then into the weeds of her credit being at risk. I think it’s totally understandable but definitely sounds like a story someone tells themselves.

@Artvisiona Жыл бұрын

This man is a creator. He needs help, because he doesn't know how to sell. He has passion, but that is it. Not everybody has a mind and instinct to become an entrepreneur.

@carolynhestandkennedy Жыл бұрын

But WHY wouldn’t he let her manage his books???

@SessieHoops 4 ай бұрын

Exactly! People are being way too hard on him, he's a creator, a worker, an artist. Think of all of the boyfriends or husbands that go to the bar and drink or sit on the couch and watch TV all day, I can see they really do love each other but Melody needs the money thing to improve, he can't see the issue because he's doing better than he ever has. They need guidance, more therapy with the host lol!

@bryce3323 Жыл бұрын

I met a guy like David while backpacking in Laos. He was around 30 and would do odd jobs in Australia like painting and picking apples for a few months until he earned enough to go traveling again. He radiated this pure positivity and contentment like no one I'd ever met. I wonder if life eventually forced him to become responsible and start buying index funds.

@deirdrekiely6187 Жыл бұрын

That lifestyle is 100% fine when you're young and a nomad traveling the world. Nothing wrong there. But this guy here has a stable life, a business, a partner who VERY MUCH wants stability and they are heading towards middle age. He is not the right partner for her.

@janebaker4912 Жыл бұрын

That's fine if you're single

@isabelreyes6387 Жыл бұрын

Cool in your 20s. David looks like he’s in his 50s - not very attractive

@mylifeisntavg 10 ай бұрын

I really hope he never did.

@mmp495 7 ай бұрын

😂

@joellejoelle6559 Жыл бұрын

I have no idea why she’s in that relationship, she seems drained. He’s using her. There’s no way!

@jessicarogers9420 Жыл бұрын

Having been in a similar situation i feel so bad for her. She looks really stressed and worn down to me.

@jessicarogers9420 Жыл бұрын

I was only 5 minutes in. So far could’ve answered all the questions for her. Feeling so bad, this is a heavy conversation. I hope he is ready to actually make changes. Doubtful so far, but hoping I’m proven wrong

@jessicarogers9420 Жыл бұрын

Ugh, same here. I’m wondering if it was the same person.

@tessy28 Жыл бұрын

Women who end up in role reversal relationships always end up looking old before their time.

@floranifae8408 3 ай бұрын

Yes I agree. She's very tired. I just got out of a relationship with a similar dynamic and I was worn out after just 3 years... she's in way longer.

@AddyOkay 24 күн бұрын

@@tessy28 That's just sexist and not true

@NaeOnYT Жыл бұрын

There are a decent number of comments on this episode noting that David is "creative" and does a lot of work on the property, and the implication is that Melody doesn't recognize his contributions. I don't think that's the case at all. Him being creative and hard-working doesn't excuse him from turning a blind eye to his debt and their finances, effectively leaving her shouldering all the responsibility. And he even admits that in the end of episode update. While this conversation was tough to watch at points, the update was very inspiring. I can tell that they love each other very much, and it seems like they're on a great path forward.

@jodief8371 Жыл бұрын

What about her debt?

@NaeOnYT Жыл бұрын

@@jodief8371 I didn't get the impression she was turning a blind eye to the debt.

@leelowe1 Жыл бұрын

David probably needs to sit down with a licensed therapist sooner than later . A partner that is financially unstable over long periods of time will sink the entire ship . He has nothing put away for retirements and she only has 90,000. Also, he has no idea how the math side works on his own business! She cannot change him until he is ready to change. She hopefully will continue to put money away towards her own retirement . I do wish them the best though. I agree with Ramit though that this is a much deeper issue that go beyond money .

@NFPwife Жыл бұрын

Hmmm.... David didn't strike me as "needing" therapy. (Quotes because therapy is great for everyone.) He struck me more as lacking in fundamental knowledge of personal finance and how to run his business. He seems like a free spirit/ creative type who hasn't had the proper mentoring and education to be successful in those areas. I loved how he was willing to accept influence during the episode and started making changes right away. I think he could benefit from some mentoring and coaching in regards to how to price his bids and run his business.

@sandralauzon9416 Жыл бұрын

The relationship with money should be discussed AT DATING LEVEL if you are thinking of going forward....living together, marriage etc. IF you have very opposing or different ideas. STOP IT WILL NEVER WORK.

@livelife1899 Жыл бұрын

Completely agree. My partner and I had a money date after three months of dating

@tarat26 Жыл бұрын

Also discuss the possibility of wanting a family, and work out if your partner is a total hoarder like mine 😂

@flacadiabla3193 Жыл бұрын

So true. You'll end up becoming bitter and resentful

@carolellamuch9571 Жыл бұрын

“I buy the dog food and we buy really good dog food” 😂😂😂 I’m sorry but ……. He’s a funny guy when he screams “ I don’t knowwwwww….”

@meganracoon Жыл бұрын

dang Ramit, at this point you should just go get your couples counseling license.

@hilarystorey4601 Жыл бұрын

As someone making triple figures, this is literally why I don’t go into relationships these days. I don’t want to risk my positive mindset around money by combining my finances with someone who is just completely different to me.

@raphaelfa9737 Жыл бұрын

Oh no that sounds sad! Just look for someone who is communicative and shares your values, there’s so many great people out there!

@deirdrekiely6187 Жыл бұрын

It might be better for you to have a long term relationship and not marriage since marriage combines some finances.

@hilarystorey4601 Жыл бұрын

@@raphaelfa9737 thank you, but don’t worry doesn’t make me sad I’m definitely in a happy place in my life with or without a partner :)

@JessicaRivy 11 ай бұрын

I feel exactly the same…i cannot risk someone bringing me down.

@cecilia2001 8 ай бұрын

What does making triple figures mean? I know 5 figures is 10k-99k per year, 6 figures is 100k-999k per year and so on, but have never heard of the term "triple figures"! Google tells me it means you make $100-999 a month, but I don't think that's what you are referring to, right?

@rzm17 Жыл бұрын

Girl, he’s not gonna change. You better run.

@angiehernandez7671 Жыл бұрын

This is not a partnership, when only one partner is responsible and the other is not.

@frenchpressfinance Жыл бұрын

Melody is feeling the pressure of getting older and likely knowing that life is shorter than we like and can change rapidly and unexpectedly, so the savings and investment are more important to her now than they used to be. David does physical labor and that's very demanding on the body; he can't do these things forever. Plus, given what he does, he could suffer a job-related injury and it could all come to a screeching halt. Also, Texas is a common law marriage state, so they're legally married at this point, paperwork filed or not 😀

@mamalovesthebeach437 Жыл бұрын

I know someone in this position. Every time she tried to talk to him about finances he would get angry and shut down. This is never going to work unless there is a firm commitment from David to pay down his debt with NO faltering. He’s in a good position because Melody is picking up the slack. Melody is afraid to speak her true feelings. Don’t file the paperwork until you’re debt free and on a new path. This is a recipe for a meltdown disaster. I am 68 years old Melody and I can tell you that life moves way faster than you even realize. Do not destroy your future wishing and hoping. I felt hopeful for you both hearing your responses after the show. The proof is in the pudding though. You’re both brave to expose your finances in this way. I wish you all the best.💜

@jasonhuang8942 Жыл бұрын

Melody deserves better

@NFPwife Жыл бұрын

Based on what I saw and the update, David is going to get there!

@jodief8371 Жыл бұрын

He deserves better. He needs to stop working for her investment property for free.

@deirdrekiely6187 Жыл бұрын

@@jodief8371 Are you serious?? SHE pays the entire mortgage and for the food and can't put money into retirement because he cannot contribute to the household finances. He barely makes money with his business. He's living off of her!!

@sarahm2926 Жыл бұрын

It seems like he has a hobby not a job.

@emilyorton6304 Жыл бұрын

Was so relieved to hear the hopeful follow up messages at the end! Despite this being a difficult convo for both of them, it was so clear how much they loved and cared about each other. This video obviously displayed a low point in their relationship/life together, but it's important to remember that just seeing a couple in a moment like this doesn't show the big picture of their whole relationship. Hopefully their financial situation continues to improve so they can enjoy many long years together far down the road.

@firststar2 8 ай бұрын

Yall lets be kind to this man. Im not even mad at the guy. I can imagine how fear can be paralyzing and it's easier to just avoid.

@samnord3262 4 ай бұрын

I can relate to the paralyzing fear that can occur from having immense debt, because I was in that position before. I had 20k+ Credit Card debt as well as other debt. It literally consumed my thoughts. I also understand that talking to someone about a difficult topic such finance but the debt and problems will not fix themselves. David looks uncomfortable talking about a lot of things in this, but I also think he is being ignorant to the facts. I truly hope that David comes to the realization about money

@suzanneemerson9787 Жыл бұрын

I absolutely love these videos. Ramit is such an amazing counselor. In some states, debts incurred before marriage remain the legal responsibility of the original debtor. They do not become “joint debts.” So, if there is a divorce later, or the original debtor dies, the new spouse has no responsibility to pay them. So in Melody’s case, she will not be legally responsible for David’s personal debt, if that is Texas law. Of course, she can give him money to help pay it off, but she may not legally be required to do so. She mentioned being worried about that when they talked about becoming legally married. Likewise, assets or property owned individually before marriage can remain separate property unless they are retitled into joint ownership. Consult an attorney in your state, regarding these issues.

@Sasha-vs6sd Жыл бұрын

So if he doesn’t know his profit/loss, how can he calculate his taxes? It makes me wonder if he’ll owe the irs at some point as well.

@Jake-Day 8 ай бұрын

“I buy the dog food.” 💀

@vivo512 Жыл бұрын

My heart broke for Melody. She tried so hard to convey what she was needing while respecting him as a life partner, but message wasn’t being heard. I too don’t give a fig about money either, but if my partner is willing to be open and vulnerable like she was, I’d set aside some of my pride and preconceived notions about money to see what she needed. Hoping for the best for those two.

@deirdrekiely6187 Жыл бұрын

" I too don’t give a fig about money either,"

@johannawebley4101 Жыл бұрын

I had an ex that was lile this. I paid everything livinf paycheck to paycheck even though I made good money cuz I was carrying the household finances on my own and buying appliances he said he would help me pay for and paying rent that he said he would pay half of. I never got any help wven thought he was a contractor and fixed things around the house. He had no steady income and oftem undercharged clients or did not collect from people who owed him. I got fed up, I was depressed and trapped. I set up my life elsewhere, gave him notice and left. After that I was able to pay off the debt I racked up dealing with him and I could breathe again. Funny enough, 1 month after I was gone he got a REAL 9-5 job

@bluegreenpurpleS-ur6oi 2 ай бұрын

Wow, that's so shit, that person took you for a ride and appeared to purposefully effect your health and wellbeing. Knowing he got a job after you left. I hope you are okay, sometimes going it alone for a little while is better than being with someone harming you. ❤

@twinmommygenise Жыл бұрын

I was listening to the podcast and had to switch over to KZfaq for this one. This gave me palpitations. I really hope this was a huge step in the right direction.

@livelife1899 Жыл бұрын

I did the same and had to switch over to KZfaq

@atio5491 Жыл бұрын

Me too. I was on Spotify but I had to come see the reactions

@mdte5421 Жыл бұрын

I’m so glad that ppl like Ramit exist . A very pragmatic approach with ought being preachy or “coachy”.

@JessicaRivy 11 ай бұрын

I love him! I had never heard of him prior to the Netflix show.

@joannat1898 Жыл бұрын

Aw, the ending of this episode made me tear up. I’m sure they’ll figure this out and communicating about finances is important. My husband and I have started listening to these episodes together and they bring up such interesting questions/observations. We’ve both read your book and it’s been very helpful in helping us create our rich life. Thanks so much for doing these!

@anapaulaprescivalli8711 5 ай бұрын

She looks scared for speaking her mind but got to a point she can't stand that anymore. He seems to be taking advantage of her and it'll not likely change despite the nice words at the end of video

@SamMKKK 3 ай бұрын

I am so inspired by her. She’s not letting her love and care for him cloud her (extremely wise, imo) judgment to not financially bind herself to someone who does not care about an aggressively accumulating debt. Also, chile not him saying he wants to pay off his debt while paying the minimum against an aggressively growing lump sum. PLEASE. 😭

@msdebbiecolbourn Жыл бұрын

Don't you love the passion and love their faces show when they are talking about their property and the natural pool and the walls

@gwene.9912 Жыл бұрын

Did you see the fear in her eye when she gave the speech about setting goals and he said I just got a big anxiety when melody just said that. Her eye got huge and she did a deep inhale. This is crazy how afraid she is. She addressing her concerns and it the same time trying to defend him. He wants credit for mowing the lawn, ain’t you suppose to be the leader of the house?? My husband mowed lawn and pay the mortgage, Amongst other things. This is just sad.

@IAmebAdger 3 ай бұрын

He's not supposed to be the leader, she does not want or need a leader, she wants a partner, a collaborator. I agree with everything else you said. Her speech would give me anxiety as well, but it would be a good anxiety that spurs me to communicate and collaborate. Props to him for the follow-up message though, that was unexpected progress.

@gwene.9912 3 ай бұрын

@@IAmebAdger thanks for your feedback back, however if your a Christian, we follow the Bible and men are suppose to lead they are the head of the house hold. If you don’t believe in a biblical house hold, thats cool too. People have that option.

@sofiarangel1315 Жыл бұрын

They are extremely ill fitted for each other. He’s a free spirited butterfly and Melody is the disciplined, responsible one. How is she even still attracted to him? She needs to get away from him immediately. Otherwise, shes gonna adopt his mediocrity.

@rebelduck9077 7 ай бұрын

16 years and she was not aware until this episode that their financial “futures” are not compatible? 😮 when I heard the house is in her name I felt a sense of relief. The money going out from both of them should be detailed on how it’s spent . What a strange interview indeed

@chelsea2690 Жыл бұрын

Hoping the best for this couple. The follow up letters were great to hear. Hope they keep up the progress on their relationship!

@martingainty9623 Жыл бұрын

Melody is bending over backwards to be accommodating. David needs to narrow his focus on pulling his weight to wipe the 28k in debt which he alone has caused It almost seems that he is waiting to win the Lottery to pull his butt out of this financial fire which he alone has caused He has no idea that 99/100 of the women on Planet Earth would leave him high and dry because he hasnt acted like a responsible adult yet

@jodief8371 Жыл бұрын

If he didn't burn probably 40 hrs a week working for her for free he would get somewhere

@EbbyGs Жыл бұрын

Whenever I ask my partner about his ideal day or his ideal retirement, he answers: "same as you!" Drives me bonkers. Get your own ideas!!

@gwene.9912 Жыл бұрын

Ok so I’m 1 hour and 6 minutes in.. and found out their not legally married, it’s sad cause she don’t want to lose this man but this man is comfortable with his life. Wow I’m just blown away looking at her hurt

@brittanynicole9318 Жыл бұрын

David is so defensive. His demeanor is apparent. They have a great situation and could pay off the debt. He doesn't seem to want to pay it off.

@tmcdgreen Жыл бұрын

Melody is terrified of being left holding the bag should something happen to David (becoming her mom), and David doesn't see/wants to ignore how his approach to money contributes to their life and Melody's stress (repeating his dad's mistakes). It's quite the thought experiment to think about what their 10 acres would have looked like, how many people they could have hired to take care of the grounds or rented to, the type of stress-free life they could have had, if David had paid attention sooner, or if Melody drew a line in the sand on her contributions to force the issue. They could have had the natural swimming pool literally years ago. Maybe even purchased more acres! I sincerely hope they get on the other side of this.

@bobtcglass7366 Жыл бұрын

David needs to make a much bigger percentage on his jobs, his profit is not substantial enough to make it work, surprised nobody brought that up. I would ask if he’s had any schooling on operating a business or learning about money and how maybe taking a business class so he’s not so lost, seems like he jumped right into a new business without a clue about like profit and loss and he’s just winging it with no help in that part of actually running it, learn some basics and then you can figure out what the problem is

@tiffaniegrier4628 2 ай бұрын

Been there. Done that. Still climbing out of debt as a result of a similar past relationship. Run!!!

@aaront936 Жыл бұрын

I started listening on the podcast and thought this guy was 22 due to his nonchalant attitude towards debt.

@mikaelaziegler9782 Жыл бұрын

Same, and a bit of an attitude and excuses at times. I though they were mid twenties at first while listening

@yasminogbu8929 Жыл бұрын

The older I get the more I see.. age is really just a number. People can decide not to change or grow

@avez8307 Жыл бұрын

This was so so hard to listen, I feel like we went in circles and went no where but I genuinely hope that they find their way to clarity and a good plan they carry through.

@lnkee 11 ай бұрын

Wow... this is such an eye opener to bring such clarity to some of the things we avoid. Most of all, it stems from when we were children and influenced by those that was around us. I am so enjoying hearing the perspective and results it is resolving. Blessing to your online business counseling. For lack of a better word. Thanks again!

@icawn 10 ай бұрын

We're all here because we're interested in finances, so we're probably above average in terms of outlook and position. In actuality, this guy is the norm.

@mockensl 26 күн бұрын

It’s certainly normal not to know about finances, but it is not normal to be running a business for three years and not know how much you have made.

@dearestdarling9467 8 ай бұрын

Adults devise a plan and follow it, children do what feels good.

@eliecercadena9361 Жыл бұрын

What an amazing story, thanks to Melody and David for share. A lot to learn from this conversation, talk about money with your partner is not easy but this is exactly one of the reasons I recently join the program, to follow a system that is not telling you what to do, is giving you the tools so you find the solution that work in your case.

@suongho6585 Жыл бұрын

this is a classic example of my father! a hard worker, but just does not understand how to correctly bid

@Trazynn Жыл бұрын

26% interest rate means that he'll have a $40k lone bij 2026 and a $80k lone by 2029, double every three years.

@zakkrick Жыл бұрын

My interest rate is 27% on a 6000 debt. I just payed it off $6000 right now. Both credit cards were with me for almost 20+ years, even though I have a perfect score but that 6000 was eating me up inside because I was only paying minimum, the root that cause me using credit cards was that I brother, sister and cousins ask to borrow money and they just wouldn’t pay me back, it’s almost like they’ll pay me whenever they pay me and it’s been over 20+ years. Now that I manage to pay off the this 6000 debt, I have lifted this weight off my back, I’m still going to be the nice person that I have always been but just put a shield around my money because the ones that borrow money from me always acts like I’m going to ask my money back from them and always avoid me.

@deirdrekiely6187 Жыл бұрын

LOAN .... not lone

@alo2013 2 ай бұрын

Wow not filing the marriage document "by mistake" seems like a blessing in disguise.

@LeesaLilHop Жыл бұрын

Having never filed the paperwork means they can avoid a divorce and just split up now. Because money is the #1 reason for this divorce and they have some big money issues and disconnects

@deirdrekiely6187 Жыл бұрын

they should split up but I believe Texas is a "common law" state which means she's screwed if legally they're considered married.

@LeesaLilHop 6 ай бұрын

Texas is a common law state and their union will likely be recognized as a marriage by the government

@mylifeisntavg 10 ай бұрын

This guy is amazing. The problem isn't him it's his business sense. He's probably damn good, so sell time and materials projects without feeling guilty. He's under charging because he doesn't realize how much it's actually worth and he's been trained to expect low pay! Someone, maybe Melody, needs to say "client, this man will make a fantastic deck. To get this deck you agree to pay for whatever deck stuff is needed, AND pay X rate to build it, typically this comes to about Y dollars, but if we need more of z item that material cost could increase." At least until they both have a more full picture of the real after the fact costs of a job. Finding ways for him to see the value in what he does will make his business successful.

@zilvarro5766 4 ай бұрын

I totally agree. No idea why so many comments are talking so badly about him.

@Roobah 8 ай бұрын

Oh, this episode so matches my own situation... Only worse. At least David uses his money. My S.O. gives away --- literally -- all of his money to strangers, and wonders why I never want to spend my money like that, also. I pay pretty much 100% of all bills and expenses AND all fixes and repairs. Would love to talk about this one your show. :)

@wsdmrtst Жыл бұрын

Excellent episode! Just started watching the channel after seeing the Netflix show. These are some very thought provoking and difficult discussions you are having with these guests and are providing much food for thought for me. Just bought the book and am ready to go through it!

@rereAL205 Жыл бұрын

Daaannng I just knew it was going to be a part 2!😫

@coachcarm Жыл бұрын

They don't use the word "WE" when they're speaking. They don't have joint finances it seems.

@ramitsethi Жыл бұрын

Good insight

@jessicarogers9420 Жыл бұрын

It may be the outing saving their finances until they see more eye to eye

@livelife1899 Жыл бұрын

Parts of the episode was quite heartbreaking. I appreciate David and Melanie’s courage to share their story. I really felt bad for David and am so glad he is braving through his avoidant tendencies and making real changes. Wishing them both the best!

@Sreeses8768 Жыл бұрын

Thank you for sharing your story. I see some similarities in my situation and this provided me with some more clarity. I can relate to Melody when she says she wants to talk and collaborate but not feeling heard ❤.

@Gioli565 Жыл бұрын

Wish these two wonderful people the best. ❤

@AG-so4gl Ай бұрын

This channel is so thought provoking, Im hooked. And Im debt free and a saver

@CoachCiCi 11 ай бұрын

This was a very tough episode, I feel bad for Melody.

@themrgumbatron Жыл бұрын

Powerful episode with lots of takeaways and perspectives. Incredible moderation sir. I would love to see an interview with this couple again in 12/24 months time. Wishing them both all the best in not just their financial journeys but everything beautiful in life. Time is of the essence, wake up from your nonchalant self David,

@jurgitab3100 Жыл бұрын

She is with her "father"... I do not think he will change.

@lysec9672 Жыл бұрын

I really enjoyed this episode. It was so real and a great example of how people's mentality around money affects every major aspect of life and it gets more complex as you get older. Not to mention working with another person's separate momey mentality. This was great and I'm surprised that i actually ended up believing in David. You're doing God's work Ramit 👏👏

@CareyDaste 5 ай бұрын

Are they in this together or not? I don't understand why everything is separate with these people. If they want to be separate then separate. Go your own way. If she wants to be in it together then accept him for what he is and he needs to accept her for what she is. This episode is just really hard even watch because I want to shout at these people. Why does she own the house instead of them owning the house together? Etc. Etc.

@jessastephenson3260 Жыл бұрын

Omg, this situation is terrible. The lack of communication between this couple is off the charts. They need to find a therapist, but I doubt if he will go. 😥😥

@Mr_NB628 Жыл бұрын

In the most recent podcasts, we have learned two ways Ramit’s DNR will become active. Not being able to squat two plates in a squat, and saying that all he wants is to make his wife happy 😅😅

@kamiliaboyce3880 Жыл бұрын

Obviously he will feel like hes in the best position cause she pays for everyrhing

@stephenvignere2817 6 ай бұрын

So, there’s a lot here to unpack, but most importantly: why does his background keep dramatically shifting? lol

@TheRay1227 Жыл бұрын

It’s crazy how shocking it is to people when the truth comes on their monthly budget. This is sad to watch, hope to they can learn and grow from this interview.

@daniellesmall2625 6 ай бұрын

Such high quality content, @Ramit. Thank you for these generous teaching moments and growth edges to encourage and inspire us.

@meditationwithatwist6685 Жыл бұрын

Yay! You have an out.. don't file the paperwork

@SessieHoops 4 ай бұрын

This was a wonderful episode. I read some of the comments below and what stuck me as true is that "she married a hippy" and also "he's just like my father, he doesn't know how to write a bid". I think people are being way too hard on David here. He reminds me of a good friend of mine who works really hard and gives a lot, but isn't fairly compensated, he doesn't want to make it about money, he gives more than he should and ends up broke. David obviously works really really hard around the property. She could not take care of the house without him. She could not fix the cars, mow the lawn and repair things without him. I think they could make an amazing team. He needs to get help to figure out how to charge properly for the work he does. Maybe they need one more renter to help pay off some of the debt more quickly, esp the 25% interest loan. I really like these guys and appreciate them coming on this show, I think they both did a great job. Melody is frustrated, yes, she doesn't want to lose David or their life but needs things to change. How about ongoing monthly therapy with the host or someone similar?

@spatty2589 11 ай бұрын

She has a dependent she can claim on her taxes but she doesn't have a life partner that she can count on.

@reiloveable Жыл бұрын

The man is not providing for anything which is why she is crying. They both are not compatible for each other

@reiloveable Жыл бұрын

Melody doesn't have to wait for happiness and celebration. Melody please leave this man because even if he gets 90 years old, he would still say that he feels young. David doesn't know but Melody does so Melody please leave