This performance by Ren caught me at my darkest time, I was grieving my wife’s death, arthritis inflamed body and depression. I listened to this song/performance and it gave me hope. I was at a dark place but went into Sunshine. I finally asked for help and received it. Now, it’s the “dance” that I going through.

After the massive amount of requests for this... here we are... hope you guys enjoy the video and have tissues (or a therapist) on hand. This song is so authentically vulnerable and will speak to so many people who maybe have felt alone with their thoughts and experiences. Huge respect to REN for creating this and putting it out into the world.

Ren is the modern-day bard. And this is the ballad of the soul.

"Some people know me as hope Some people know me as the voice that you hear When you loosen the noose on the rope" That line breaks me every time, because I know that exact feeling and voice. That moment where you step down and decide not to. I hadn't really connected the two in the way he does, and it's so beautiful.

It breaks my heart when his voice breaks: "No mate, this time it's different" @2:58 He desperately wants it to be true, but he's afraid just this is just another cycle, another trip through the Mill.

"loosen the noose on the rope" is the line that gets me every time. I've listened to this song probably 100+ times. I've taken someone down from one and remember it every time.

Deserves a Grammy for this performance. The good and the bad lives inside all of us because that’s what being human is

51 year old strong male here. I teared up the first few times I listened to this song. Even if you don't have a mental illness it still hits you deeply. We all struggle with that inner voice and it is a constant battle between good and evil. It's a master piece and will be known for decades as such.

You really need to watch Ren -"chalk outlines" (live), and "how to be me"(live), both ft. Chinchilla. They really show their voices in those songs

I don't know what it is about this song, but i NEED to watch everyone's reactions to it.

This is Jungian Psychotherapy in a song. You don't kill the shadow, you incorporate it, it has qualities that you need to be complete. The last Hoo Hoo Hoo chorus demonstrates what the shadow can bring to your "song"

This performance, being a one take is an absolute master piece.

I'm a multiple attempt survivor, and I think this song sums up the struggle pretty well. I really appreciate Ren for giving a voice to what many people can't understand.

The thing that gets me is that his acting, writing, singing, etc are all equally amazing. He's the whole damn package.

First time I listened to this I cried.. like ugly cried. I’ve listened to the song and reactions to it hundreds of times (I’ve lost count) and I always tear up. I love that he ends the song with hope; not “I’m all better now”, but there is hope if you learn balance. Learn there is darkness in all humanity and how to relax in order to dance with it and let it go. It’s really a masterpiece and packed with meaning, nuance, emotion and elements conveying so many parts of the whole experience of mental illness issues. Thank you for your reaction to this and sharing your thoughts. Be safe and blessings to you and yours.

The common denominator of reaction videos of Hi Ren is the relatability of the performance. We all have that doubting voice. And the to and fro between it and our Yang to its Yin is constant when we're disturbed. The hope section is beautiful. I love your reaction, it's different to others but it's the same, it's visceral, it's emotional, and it's human. "And we must not forget that we are human beings" . X

This song has been the catalyst in creating the most real reactions by all reactors in my opinion. It sucks you in, washes, rinses and repeats throughout the song/experience. Well done.

I’ve completed 70 solar orbits and I haven’t seen an artist burst onto the scene with so much creatively artistic power since Bob Dylan. As an aging musician, I still draw inspiration from young artists like Ren and it gives me hope for future generations. ❤😊

Ren had described his music as 'bardcore'. As you said, this was not really a song, but a play of sorts. Every time I hear this, I get choked up. The thing is that I've been listening to it at least once every day for the past few weeks. I love how the intensity keeps increasing throughout the performance. IMHO, it ends with an exclamation point. The best part is when he referred to this back and forth as a pendulum, and it is like an eternal dance. No matter how bad things seem to get, it will get better if we are persistent. Never give up hope.

You earned a sub from me because you let the artist play out the way they intended. I hate when reactions stop songs every 5 seconds destroying the rhythm and tension. The way you add tidbits and perspective in text is clever and I really appreciate it.

While i can 100% agree with everyone elses song suggestions so far, a different songs from Ren i also want to suggest "The Tale Of Jenny and Screetch". It is a 13+ minutes 3 parter. It further highlights Rens guitar skills and incredible storytelling abilities (Tissues recommended)

This is hands down the most significant piece of art I’ve experienced in my life. When I first listened to it it made me cry. Then I’ve seen every reaction I could find and seeing others react in the same profound way I did makes me feel even more validated in my own struggles. Thank you Julia, and thank you Ren.

This is my first reaction video of yours I have watched, as I work through a long list of Hi Ren reaction videos. I like your method of letting the video play predominantly uninterrupted and simply adding thoughts in text form. I feel too many reaction video folks like the sound of their own voice too much, constantly interrupting the video they are watching and repeating or rewinding sections. It shows more respect to the artist to watch the video almost in entirety, and then give a breakdown of your thoughts. Good job!

When you look at most jewels, they appear beautiful enough, but when you see an exquisitely fashioned diamond, with all of its numerous glistening facets, you can become awestruck. This song is a diamond. It transcends most beautiful tunes with its message for all who suffer. This work is a gift of hope and life to others in pain, and I am grateful to artists like Ren Erin Gill...

Ren hits everybody he is a one of a kind. But you have to know there`s a funny side of Ren as well. Enjoy the ride with Ren and his band Big push.

Ren has an uncanny ability to communicate to all of us what he feels in ways that are relatable and demand introspection. Although I have no musical talent he has a way of helping me to invision what it must be like for people who hear music in every thought, sound and sight, especially when I listen to experts like you and the Fairy Voice Mother who have the ability to explain why music affects our emotions. I think you will also enjoy watching Ren and Chinchilla perrform together in "Chalk Outlines" and especially in" How to be me "

Ren is right. This is not original. It is unusual and more fringe, but not the first time something like this has been done, lyrically or musically. But... it is true, and real, and still his story. It resonates for people. It inspires people. There is nothing wrong with bringing a fresh take to an old song/story/feeling. It is completely relevant and worthy of praise. This is art, and life, and is beautiful. Ren, you are beautiful, brave, and absolutely lovable. Thank you for sharing your gifts and for not giving up.

Heard this probably a hundred times now and I still find new little meanings in everything from lyrics to cadence to cinematography. It's art, pure and simple. I survived and learned how to dance my dance, at least for now. I'm not alone, you are not alone. We are not alone.

Thank you for your genuine, heartfelt reaction. “Hi Ren" is the song that put Ren on everyone's radar since December; it went viral and has garnered more than 6 million views since its debut, but he has been creating great music for more than ten years. Ren’s music videos are generally recorded live, often in a single take, although not necessarily the first take, and from various camera angles. His release, "Sick Boi," is almost another chapter to "Hi Ren." Many of Ren’s songs resonate with people because he addresses struggles that many others face every day. Ren plays multiple instruments (acoustic, electric, and bass guitar, piano, drums), has impressive vocals, is an excellent storyteller, and is quite the philosopher and poet. He is considered by many a modern bard; he calls his music “bardcore.” Ren’s earliest recordings on KZfaq are from his time in a band called “Trick The Fox,” consisting of Ren and his buddies Charlie and Tommy. Unfortunately, the band performed only briefly due to Ren’s onset of health issues. They are very talented. A fun clip to watch is “The Mash Up.” Ren’s trilogy "The Tale of Jenny/Screech/Violet" has been likened to a Shakespearean tragedy and is a prime example of his genius; it is a master’s class in storytelling and also showcases his guitar skills. The three acts are haunting, and the conclusion will catch you off guard. The trilogy needs to be watched in the order given, as this is the flow of the storyline and is best watched as a whole rather than piecemeal. Ren’s collaborations with Chinchilla (“Chalk Outlines,” “How to Be Me,” “Sexual Healing,” “One Dance/Drunk in Love”) are beautiful and showcase his singing voice. His live music videos are especially impressive. Ren's personal reflections are threaded through many of his songs; "Insomnia," "Depression," “Diazepam," “Penitence,” “Dear God,” “Heretic,” “Dominos,” his "Freckled Angels" album, just to name a few, all deserve a listen. His song "Money Game" (Part I & II) is another recommendation, although it is less of a personal song than it is an indictment of greed and the resulting injustices in this world. Ren’s Hip Hop/Rap style songs are all worth checking out if you enjoy this genre; they are pretty amazing. Check out “The Hunger,” “Genesis,” “What You Want,” “Losing it (FISHER rap retake),” “Right here, right now (Fatboy Slim one shot retake),” "Life is Funny," “Love Music (Parts 1, 2, and 3),” “Crucify Your Culture,” “Power,” and his latest release, “Bittersweet symphony (The Verve retake).” As I recently discovered, Ren also recorded a cover of “Can't Help Falling In Love (Elvis Cover),” that is simply beautiful. Then there are his performances with Sam Tompkins (“Blind Eyed,” “Earned it /Mans World / Falling,” “Walking on the moon/No Diggity”), Eden Nash (“Humble,” “Ocean”), Bibi (“Crutch,” “Ahiahiaoha”), Molly McKinna (“Penitence”), his former bandmate, Romain Axisa (“French Song”), which are all great. "The Big Push" busking sessions, concerts, and live recordings all are awesome and well worth checking out. Their covers of "I Shot the Sheriff/Road to Zion/Hip Hop," "Wade in the Water/Nina Simone/Trouble so Hard," "An Englishman in New York," “Bongo Bong,” “War Pigs,” the songs "Oh My Woman," “Swan Song,” “Sweet Little Lady," "It's Alright," "Watch Out," “Dignity,” and so many others are equally impressive. In anticipation of his stay in Canada for more treatments, Ren prepared some music ahead of time to be released over the next six months that he expects to be gone. He released “Sick Boi” and “Bittersweet Symphony (The Verve retake),” which is another masterful work. Ren has hinted that he might release his newest song on March 29, which is his birthday.

bro. you gotta do "Ren - The Tale of Jenny & Screech (Full)" it's emotional, and interesting in terms of different styles of singing.. and good content. right up your alley!

I've had this voice in my head since I was 11 years old. I've never known the way to vocalize it until I heard this song. It was the first time I didn't feel completely alone, not without feeling like I'd be locked away in a padded room. Every positive thought, every positive movement, it's there in my head though, screaming. every minute, every day. Telling me I'm a failure, that no one ACTUALLY cares about me, it's all just pity, a performance, obligation. There's been times I listened and cut myself away from friends and family. I've been told that I don't appreciate the love I'm given more times than I can count, and who knows? Maybe that's been true. I know there's been a lot of times that I didn't allow myself to see it and turned myself away from it. Times that I didn't give it when I should have. I tried to drown it away with alcohol, I've tried to carve it out with razors and knives. I've smiled to everyone while telling them I was ok, while inside my head I was screaming and wishing someone would see through the self destruction Last year I finally admitted I needed help and started seeing a therapist, as well as support groups, medication is helping, I know now it'll never completely go away, but I'm learning to cope and accept myself. Good and bad.

What Ren has achieved is to facilitate many thousands of people to talk about mental issues they or their family/friends have experienced, because of this "you are not alone" has become a reality, not a cliche. He has also contributed to the understanding of mental issues amongst those who have not suffered and brought together all generations, genders, faiths, professions & nationalities.Mental health knows no boundaries and neither do those who have reacted & responded to Ren's art. Thank you for your honest and informed reaction.

The personal advice I take from this song is in that dance metaphor in the ending monologue. The more you resist, the more you frustrate yourself about your inability to change things. I can let a lot roll off my back, but one of my biggest issues is a cycle of trying to find answers to something I don't have answers to. I'm now actively trying to avoid overthinking my problems. It's not something I can do for societal issues that depress me because it feels too much like apathy, but actively staying out of my head is very helpful for more personal mental issues.

Like so many others, I found myself deeply moved when first I heard this perhaps a month ago. Since then, I have listened to it dozens of times as I watched others react. It still moves me every time, but how I've been moved has changed as I have taken in other reactions, and comments, as well as the piece itself. People whose musical preferences vary wildly respond to it, and people from strikingly disparate demographic backgrounds. The battle between two sides of ourselves seems to be archetypal. And Ren's resolution of this battle is profound: to relax, to soften, to learn how to dance. I very much appreciate your reaction -- another human with a substantial analytic faculty struggling to stay in that role even as their emotions surge during Ren's performance. I appreciate your articulation of musical and vocal technique Ren uses to connect, and to communicate. There's a filmmaker who has reacted to 'Hi Ren" and comments on visual aspects of the work. There are reactions by psychotherapists, by a neurologist, by a psychiatric nurse, by a professor of literature. Just as 'Hi Ren' is powerful not only because of lyrical content -- but by all the ways his use of his voice, of his guitar, of his rapid seamless switches between characters with their own postures and tones, of the lighting and the camerawork to reinforce the communication taking place -- so do the various reactors reinforce his message as "Hi Ren" elicits layered and nuanced responses from them. After I first heard 'Hi Ren,' I was loathe to watch other work Ren has available, because I thought it was bound to be a let-down and I wanted to protect the purity of my initial response. However, as the weeks have passed, I've fallen down "the rabbit-hole" of Ren's solo work, his duets with Chinchilla and with Sam Tompkin, and busking performances with a band called 'The Big Push." My respect has only grown for the talent of the artist and for the courage with which he displays his vulnerability -- and for the reactors whose own vulnerability, authenticity, and expertise he seems to elicit. It is beautiful.

Your written breakdown during the first half of the song for a common non musically taught person is so helpful. Thank you for being open and so connected with your audience. Much love.

This song honestly hit me like a train. I was recently diagnosed with a second autoimmune disease, so I'm still in the trenches, waiting to stand up before I can dance. This is such a powerful narrative and I love that each of the reactors I watch add their own acceptance of not only the beautiful art that Ren pulls off, but how each of us survive the narrative. Thank you so much for that and your honest emotions. ♥

Julia, I've never seen your reactions before. Especially appreciated the written notes as we went along, allowing the performance to play out with minimal interruptions. Those combined with watching your face told me that you felt every emotion I did when I first came across this masterpiece. The monologue at the end, is autobiographical. He was ill from 17 for about a decade with undiagnosed Lyme disease. The psychosis was part of the symptoms. Finally, he's getting some treatment in Canada, and hopefully can be restored to health. At one point you mentioned this was like a whole story....... and so, from here you really MUST go to Jenny & Screech, a trilogy telling one story complete, and what a story. The ending will surprise and shock. It's a piece of art. From there, you can find some of his more mainstream stuff, leading the busking band The Big Push. These street performances are excellent vocally and musically. Many have described the Ren rabbit hole, and few have ever wished to escape from it!

I connect with music on such a visceral level, that if music wasn't in my life.......

I work as a therapist, providing group therapy to kids with significant mental illness, and I like to incorporate music and film into sessions whenever I can. We watched "Hi Ren" a few weeks ago, with a group consisting of 11-15 year olds, and some of the things that they noticed were genuinely incredible. One client pointed out that "Mean Ren" as he's come to be known, is the one that carries the percussion throughout the song, and that through that choice he feels like the more powerful voice, or at least the one "driving" most of the time. Another client noticed that after "Mean Ren" takes over and goes away, Ren is backlit in such a way that you can see two shadows on the floor, and that he was living with them both instead of feeling split. Kids are incredible and so is Ren!

Someone, please give Miss NIlon a hug... NOW!

For me this is a new Level of Music. Its Art and pure Emotion. Never been there, a new category. Great reaction ,

Welcome to the world Ren. Buckle up. This young man is literally redefining music and art, and resonating globally!

Ive spent 45 years thinking and saying I was alright. coasting with just a taste of happiness. living with deep pain. thank you Ren. and thank you Julia for your insight, your passion within

Loved your reaction. "Hi Ren" has changed my life. No lie. "Learned to Relax and Soften." Thanks for your transparency, Julia.

I was wondering when you were going to get around to this one... FINALLY! ;) I've watched his video of this song probably about a hundred times now, and I still tear up when he talks about the voice that you hear "when you loosen the noose on the rope".

Sometimes you come across a piece of art that doesn't need too be overly analyzed and that's ok. Sometimes we just need to sit back and watch and do our best to help this artist spread his message to the world. Anyone struggling with mental illness should see this. This is the type of artistic expression that could save lives.

1 take, live, with mic and guitar plugged in. Listen to this all the time. Deal with the mental health issues all the time. Always a struggle every day. Some days are way worse than others. Did not help with the loss of someone to suicide. Such a good song. Always reminds me to think on the positive side of things. “You can get through today.”

I have watched Ren's original video at least 100 times and have seen countless reactions to it, and is my goto when i need to center myself with my thoughts and emotions. I love how at first he is playing his guitar and singing in a way that may not be socially or culturally popular at this time and that is when the voice really kicks in and starts badgering him. The lights being controlled through the entire video and the shadows they cast add tons to the underlying feeling. And finally after he STANDS and rebukes he sings in that beautiful higher voice that while may not be present in a lot of modern music , is powerful and fulfilling. Ren is a genius and i love him dearly, his catalog of music spans so many genres , he is one of a kind.

I'm so glad all of my fav reactors did this. I love this so much. Ren, his music, his message, people's reaction to it... This guy's blowing up on youtube and rightfully so.

This is a masterpiece of modern art. I have struggled with mental health my entire life. Although it has mostly manifested itself in depression, I have the genetic pre-disposition for schizophrenia, bi-polar, and multiple personality disorder. These things loom over me constantly, a constant reminder that even if my depression gets better, there's something much worse that could await me in the future. As an ex-vangelical...someone who grew up in the church, and as someone who has struggled with mental health, I deeply relate to the dichotomy of self represented in this video. "The pendulum between good and evil" (paraphrase). I have broken away from the religion of my parents and now as an adult, I am realizing that mental health and religion are intertwined. I will always be fighting a battle within my mind and it's art like this that makes me not feel alone.

This is so beyond special and one of the most powerful pieces of music I have ever heard.

Oh WOW, I hope Ren watches this one. He's known for watching reactions to this song, and your analysis of it at the end is incredibly well articulated and complete in it's scope. I've watched A LOT of these reactions, and I've watched a good chunk of your videos because being an amateur, self taught vocalist, you are incredibly insightful. This completely blew my mind and far surpassed any expectation. Both vocally breaking down the physicality used he uses, but especially on the bits about mental health. As a sufferer of BPD2 and CPTSD you absolutely nailed it, and put some things into words that I've never been able to explain. Amazing job.

This is the exact representation of how i was struggeling with my demons inside my head. Always telling me that i'm not good for anything and that voice would just never shut up. Adding a line from "chalk outlines" , a song of his that btw you should react too:" i'm scared of being ok because all things change" that line hit me harde than i could have expected.

Mental illness is a story of extremes often. I have watched many different reactors react to Ren, probably a hundred times now. Each time, it blows me away with not only how it affects me personally but how others from all walks of life are impacted. This was art, a brilliant performance in every way. Yes, it also triggers my crying. I have had anxiety for the past 10 years and haven't left the house much over the past few years. I have recovered from PTSD and self harming/suicide ideation in my younger years. I also talked to and supported many people when I was a phone counsellor on a crisis line many years ago. So I know what struggles people have/go through in maintaining a sense of wanting to stay around. Ren's message resonates with me as an artist and as a person. I produce photography for myself first and foremost. The critic in me has lessened over time. It is still a part of me but I have a stronger 'voice'. Love your reaction Julia. This video, more than any other brings a 'roundness' to your presence here. It showcases your humanity, your vulnerable side and that brings a strength and beauty to you in your reaction. I highly respect you as an artist, as a guide through the music world. The melding of your vulnerable side and your intellectual side completes you. I respect that. Ren's performance and your words are powerful. Thank you. Rich

7:50 That's one of, if not the primary reason I connect so deeply with rock and metal music. And I do truly believe that growing up with and still to this day listening to a lot of that type of music has led to me being a fairly stable person that doesn't really struggle with mental health issues in the ways I see many of my peer millenials struggle. Rock and metal often is brutal, deals with dark themes, it's violent. But that's what makes listening to it and enjoying it so cathartic. It shows you that there are other people struggling and dealing with anger and frustration, you're not alone. The music lets you channel all this, "let it out" so to speak, in a non-desctructive way. I really do believe that the catharsis that rock and metal brings for the listener helps people be more balanced and happier. This ties into so many things. The music and this catharsis is why metal crowds at concerts and festivals are usually the most chill and friendly, with the least number of violent incidents and crimes committed at these venues, for example.

this song is just a reminder that music is therapy. the line about the charcter of "hope" being "the voice in your head as you losen the noose on the rope" hits very close to home for me, every single time I hear it. if you want more of his singing capabilities, Id recomend "Chalk Oulines"

I've struggled with mental health issues since my teens. I'm almost 36 now and it has been and always will be a daily struggle... Also, as a musician i can definitely relate to his doubts about his music and his legacy he'll leave behind and doing something worthwhile with his life and have people remember him once he's gone.. His bit about "the brighter the light shown the darker the shadow it cast" is very true. One day you feel great like you can take on the world and then the next day you dont even have the will to get out of bed... I feel like most people can relate to this song. Everyone has the internal battle with oneself. The eternal never ending dance inside your head. And if you say you don't, then you're in denial... I had never heard of this artist until now but I've looked him up and will be listening to more of his stuff. We need more artists that address the issue of mental health. The whole reason behind music is to make one feel emotion and change moods. Music in itself is inherently directly linked with mental health... I've been listening to this song on repeat for the past 30 minutes whole writing this comment. For anyone struggling with mental health issues, don't give up. on the days when you feel the world is against you, remember that It's not a bad life... just a bad day. And things will get better.

wow Julia....thank you for being so real and vulnerable like that. That's a really scary but honorable thing to accomplish and I applaud you and as for Ren....well let's just say he's a modern day Bard on a mission of hope and integrity in the face of adversity. I too bawled like a baby when I first watched this and I still do at times but for different reasons now.

I cry while watching every reaction video of this piece of art. (And like and comment) Since I’ve first seen the vid I can only see three characters; it’s difficult to think it’s one man.

Finally. LOL I have been waiting for you to react to this one specifically. Spoiler, watch for his power move towards the end, singing, playing, and a leg lift and shake. I can't believe how grounded he is in his own style.

Since you asked, the first maybe 35 listens of #hiren left me utterly devastated. Ren's story and the intimicy and connection he builds and the way he delivers his message totally got me. The same happened with quite a few of the other songs. Including the collaborations with Chinchilla and the first Money Game.

The line that I keep latching onto is the pendulum and "The brighter the light shines the darker the shadow it casts." I have struggled with depression my entire life, and in a very actively Christian family. Countless sermons, messages, songs, etc saying how the Light will always outshine the Darkness. I know that they were referring to spiritual matters and not psychological ones, but every time I heard that phrase I could still see that terrible shadow. I think this is the first time I've heard someone plainly state that both of them exist without hyping the light up as being 'stronger'. I find the acknowledgement of that quite comforting.

The song hits you like a hammer, because if you've ever had experiences and problems with it, you know exactly what he's talking about and can relate and understand a lot. This piece of art will appeal to many, just as it did to me, it will help many to identify with it and hopefully also to draw strength from it. Mega brave and strong to make a song like this and share personal experiences in this way. I could write and say endless things about this song, but that would go beyond the scope here. Thank you for your wonderful, warm and open reaction

Most of us ugly cried hearing it for the first time. Most of us didn't have a camera staring at us thankfully. But don't worry, you still looked gorgeous as always! 💜 Really hope you go down the Ren rabbit hole. There are a few more really hard hitting videos that are brilliant, but he also has some fun and uplifting ones. For pure singing, highly recommend Chalk Outlines, How to be me, and any of his live busking videos with Sam or The Big Push.

discovering this song in the middle of the night by accident, just before i wanted to go to bed... it caught me off guard. the most beautiful thing after this rollercoaster of emotions is that he ends the performance by sharing a sense of strength with all of us.

There is not a dang thing wrong for empathically reacting to this. It's one of the many things about you that is endearing...😎🎏

This song is both heartbreaking and beautiful... So glad I discovered Ren

Whew, yes that was a reaction, and one of the most honest and real that I have seen to this incredible piece of art. We all need to look after each other way better than we typically do. So a massive hug to anyone who is reading this and needs one right now, not least Ren himself who has been going through the mill in treatment in Canada this last month.

I have watched the Hi Ren video as a stand alone at least 20 times and the reactions...easily close to a hundred times. It doesn't matter how many times I hear it, I am, to this very moment, in exactly the same state you find engulfing you right now. Ren saves my life every single day and he doesn't even know me. I have found hope and excitement in his music and have learned to ease up on myself... something I never thought possible.

Also, take a listen to 'the tale of Jenny & screech (full)' by him and keep your napkins close!

This song is going to save lives.

Oh. My. Gods. I've lost count of the reactions to this that I've watched, and been _waiting_ for yours, and you have turned in what is BY FAR my favorite to see (Chase comes kind-of close). This song didn't hit me as hard, emotionally, because it's been a few months since I FINALLY figured out that Impostor Syndrome is one of the defining aspects of my whole damned life (I'm 64). But I do feel, strongly, that EVERYYONE needs to see it (I only wish it were possible to translate it into. well, every language on Earth, without losing some of the things that make it so powerful).

First time listening to this it hit me like a truck, second time i almost foget that this is all one person, even when two are constantly switching between each other and it just shows how good the visuals assist the vocal choices here you broke down so well. I think it´s a masterpiece of that topic and knowing his backstory it hits even harder! Those lyrics spoke to me on so many levels and occasions i can´t count, and there was more than one tear shed by me, even after listening many times to it.

This song hits me like a freight train every time I hear it! I'm a disabled person who has lived with an autoimmune illness called Systemic Scleroderma since I was 17yo along with a lot of other traumatic events in my life, the worst of which was losing my mom in January of 2018. After losing my mom, I was forced to live with family who I never really got along with, it was an ab*sive environment and I was a broken man on the verge of deleting myself by the time I finally my own place. I've dealt with depression and anxiety since my teens due to my illness and everything else I've been through, I've contemplated deleting myself on several occasions and thankfully I've never followed through with it. Stories like mine are why "Hi Ren" is blowing up right now, this is one of the most impactful pieces of art I've ever heard in my entire life!

This is perfect. Very profound and griping.

I must have watched more than 250 reactions to Rens art now. This was definitely one of my favourites, not only for the wide scope of the analysis, but for the same reasons his work resonates so strongly with me. Sincerity, openess and empathy are remarkably important traits in human beings and you display all of them here. Thank you so much for allowing others to experience this with you, and have further reminders that although we all walk different dark paths others walk them too and we are not truly alone even when it seems we are. Liked and subscribed, and looking forward to both more analysis of Hi Ren and his other work but also to look through your other videos.

You are the first reactor I have seen mention the “third character”. I have always seen it from the first time I saw this video about a week ago. I’ve now watched it many, many times. At 5:06 in your video, just after he says “I’ll tie you up in knots as I lock you inside” when he makes that crazy motion- I can’t describe what it is, you will have to go to 5:06 and look to see what I mean- to me, it’s then when his personalities combine, creating the third character. First we see the evil Ren, followed by the good Ren, and rather than speaking from left to right, he is mostly speaking forward as one person from that point on. I only mentioned this because you said you were going to go back and rewatch this. See if that makes sense. Edited to add: he doesn’t play the last note of the song at the end- just before this monologue about The Dance- perhaps to indicate the ‘story’ isn’t over, and that the dance truly is eternal?

This song hit me like a brick. It was almost a one for one match for my own internal journey over my life, with less religious allegory but still the same none the less. Ren is right, we are all Human Beings. We all live this in our own way and we should never forget that. It is the most real thing I have heard or seen in years.

As raw and painful as this is, it is ultimately a message of hope; that is what makes it bearable.

The trifecta is complete! Elizabeth, lolli and now julia! I think this may be my 100th reactor video om this song and it never gets old. Great breakdown as usual julia and a true human reaction to it.

This is one of the best reactions of hi Ren I watch them all. Thank you. You need to watch Ren - "chalk outlines" . And "hope" from NF

OMG finally somebody gets it right! I subbed instantly! The format you use where you put your thoughts in text instead of pausing every few moments is brilliant. So much more enjoyable to absorb imo. Cheers

Great reaction and analysis. Personally, I have struggled with these two voices my entire life. I believe that the 3rd voice is what you start hear when you stop fighting your dark/shadow self, and learn to accept it as part of you. I think too often we feel that other voice is just bad or evil, but in essence there is some wisdom in that voice as well. It is there in some ways to balance you out, because if you live in the just good/light voice you can end up moving to unhealthy perspectives as well. It's only in the last few years I have learned to accept that shadow part of myself, and I live in the 3rd voice more consistently. It almost feels like you are at the mid point of the pendulum - those fleeting moments of balance. This was just a brilliant work of art with much wisdom inside. It's also interesting to watch the escalation that occurred as those two voices fight against each other. When you can soften, they fight is more of a 'discussion' and those pendulum swing are less drastic.

What a beautiful reaction and response. ❤ You can really see how moving the content was for you and how much you care about your community. Enjoy your Ren journey. It’s heavy, it’s light, it’s never the same twice. Everyone will be telling you Ren’s story, the Story of The Big Push (band)… etc. I’m a world of the overly produced, here is someone raw and also unashamed to share like an open book in his songs. Also, thanks for not being ashamed to cry or be moved. Every time I think I’m done crying, when someone reacting cries to these songs, I do. It’s healthy.

Yea… there’s nothing other than hollowness. Neutrality is the descriptor and a pragmatic view.

I've watched literally many hundreds of reactions to hi ren and yours is without a doubt one of the best.. many thanks from a fellow Aussie..❤,

Incredible reaction Julia. This is such a powerful piece. It has connected with so many people, myself included at such a deep level. I have heard it so many times since I was introduced to Ren though it just weeks ago and it still hits me as hard every time I hear it. When he sings "So cower at the man I've become, When I sing from the top of my lungs, That I won't retire I'll stand in your fire inspire the meek to be strong" I never fail to have tears in my eyes. It is so inspirational!

Your reaction to this is the perfect example of the mental upturned tortoise....Ren, to me, is like a lighting conductor. He brings us all down to earth with a bump.... you're left afterwards like the afore mentioned upturned tortoise..... Pure Art

This song makes me feel healed, and grateful that I've been leading the dance with my shadow self lately

Dear Julia, you'll likely cry again when you hear Ren's tilogy - The Tale of Jenny - The Tale of Screech - The Tale of Violet.

Ren x chinchilla - chalk outlines (live) is absolutely stunning and brings me to tears every time. Showcases his singing voice.

Wow. Excellent analysis with a lot of feeling and reality of what we have just seen in this video. A human being who speaks of his reality through music. And you Julia explained it in a very professional but above all human way. Thank you julia! Greetings from Venezuela.

To surrender to pain is to surrender to yourself.

Had Ren on my list of stuff that I listen to for a while, hes a genius in how he words things, and his 'remakes' of some songs are fantastic. Hi Ren definitely describes a lot of what I go through in my head. I've had that 'bad' voice speaking to me for a long, long time now, and, I'll admit, on occasion, I've had massive struggles with not doing what it wants of me. The 'good' voice has always been there, but hasn't been the strongest for me. I've attempted the extreme way out. It was the only way for me at the time. I still hit that wall from time to time, and, its not good mentally, physically or generally. It took someone physically dragging me to the doctor and them explaining what had gone on, and how I was acting led to a start. I've had therapy, I've had counselling, I've had countless different drugs, and they've each had their effects, both good, and bad. As the lyrics said, its a constant dance, and one that on occasion I don't want to do. I wish I could say it gets better. It just varies how we look at it. I accept my mental health issues as part of who I am now, and, more importantly, my friends and family accept that this is what makes me tick. They know that some days I'll be withdrawn, and other days I'll be the opposite. Music makes me feel better at times. It doesn't solve the issues, but, for instance, if I'm feeling crap, and I'm in my car, the music goes on, the volume goes up, and I have whatever song it is blasting at an antisocial volume, whilst I deal with things in my own way. Its the same at home. I'll put my headphones on, and whatever music it is, will go on until my head clears. I meant this to be a short post, but, anyone who is concerned, I'm 'OK'. Or, as OK as I can be with a serious mental health issue. I'll keep plodding on, and, as long as I keep waking up every morning, as I have done for the last 25 years since I was diagnosed, I'll do what I can.

"It wasn't David vs Goliath; It was a pendulum eternally swaying from the Dark to the Light. And more intensely that the Light shone, the Darker the shadow it cast." I want this tattoo'd on me. So incredibly well stated and relatable.

Ren spent years suffering from mental illness and Lime Disease. This is his story of the fight he had with his inner self and how he fought to overcome that voice inside of him. This video was live and one take.

I'm coming to this a year late, but i wanted to commend you for being so honest with your emotions. It's a hard thing for most people let the world see them cry. Your courage to sit there with tears running down your face, letting them flow is a beautiful thing. I have lived with that voice, that imposter syndrome, that other part of me that said everyone else would be better off without me for most of my life. It wasn't until i was 48 years old that i realised i had to make changes or i wouldn't see my children grow up. Starting estrogen, and blocking my testosterone 8 years ago at the age of 48 was what finally allowed me to relax by unlocking emotions other than rage, and depression. That dance has gotten easier, the voice that induced me to try to unalive myself multiple times for more than 30 years got quieter. It's still there telling me i'm not worthy of good things, but it's slightly more manageable now, and it hasn't actively tried to kill me in over 5 years. At 56 years old i feel more human than i have in decades. ❤

Just my personal interpretation, but the melodic "oohs" is good ren trying to block out bad ren, and eventually letting his guard down and entertaining bad ren's argument, bad ren provokes him into degrading his morals "fuck you, I'm a genius" "I'll kill you" essentially corrupting him. Then, towards the end when dark ren is poised to win, ren remembers the whole point of singing, defies dark ren, reinstates that he's not evil or destructive like dark ren, but simply refusing to be controlled, then when it's dark ren's turn to rebuke him, he cuts him off by singing again, not engaging in the fight, a fight dark ren would inevitably win.

This hits me on so, so many levels... It's not often I feel so seen

I’ve explained feelings like this to my wife, to my friends, to my family to no avail.