Your sacrifice was unneeded, but appreciated by a few people.

James: She had a show called the Lizzy Mcguire Show. And then a movie called the Lizzy Mcguire Movie. And then a music career... Me: -- called the Lizzy Mcguire Music Career, yes.

my favorite amazon review: "You see this book while at the grocery shop. You pick it up not because it looks interesting, but because it has a recognizable name on it. You think whether this Duff character has any talent. So you read the back of the synopsis. But as you're doing that your ice cream in your arm starts to melt. You sweep it up into your cart and get to the check out. The cashier sees your novel and gives you a nod. You think that's a good sign. So you take it home, and when you have some freedom, you check it out. It's bad. So bad that you throw up. Your puke goes all over your bed and you don't wonder why. You leave the room to get paper towers, and your dog goes in and licks it up before you return. You curse the heavens, then go to bed. You don't like it. You put your Elixir book up for sale on eBay, but it only sells for a penny and the cost of shipping. You regret your decision. You light up and cigarette and accidentally burn your house down when you go to sleep. You regret buying that Duff novel. You try to sue her, but your case is thrown out, and you're seen as crazy. Now living with your mother in law, without nothing on the horizon, you end it all."

“‘ELIXER” is the worst twilight knockoff...in existence.” Fifty Shades Trilogy: Am I a joke to you?

These books weren't even written by Duff despite her claims. Duff came up with the plot and characters, but the books were written by a ghost writer who was supposedly guided by Duff. Duff claims that she wrote the whole thing, but she only came up with the plot and characters. She thinks that the fact that she came up with the plot and characters, that equals writing the book. She also didn't credit the ghost writer.

My favorite part about this was the slow devolving of how he pronounced Clea.

"His whole thing is to get cuckolded over and over." I'll admit, I laughed at that.

The funniest part is her being constantly recognized everywhere she goes. As a Brazilian, I know exactly zero US senators, and neither does anyone I've ever met, and ESPECIALLY not their children. I don't think Japanese people know them either. But out of all the weird stuff in these books, I guess this is one of the least insulting ones.

Well, I mean, we can see why Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way hated her so much now.

I'm a U.S. citizen who actively follows politics. I would not be able to name the child of a senator if my life depended on it. Edit: Oh yeah, Meghan McCain. Score!

"Reincarnated every hundred years just to be cuckolded by the same guy" sounds like a great curse, I need to use that in a game sometime. Also I love that you have a shirt with yourself on it.

So a big plot point of the series...which kickstarts the whole thing...is that they never looked at her baby pictures as a family until she was ~18?

If the main character is Hillary’s self insert who’s recognized everywhere, why not just the character be a former actor too? It would make the most sense.

Senpai, if I ever commit the shameful act of publishing a substandard novel, I hope you will make a review video for it. I can reclaim my honor through death in this arena.

I heard the descriptor "dark figure" and started picturing Sage as basically the babadook, and I didn't stop doing that even when he met up with the other characters. just three teens and a shadow demon hanging out

Why are the hot immortals always so angsty and abusive?!

Brazilian here: We barely recognise our senators, okay? American Senators? Pfff. Nope.

I actually laughed when you said they developed psychic powers by thinking hard Also if I met somebody who has stalked me since birth but assures me it's OK since they are immortal and 5 incarnations ago we were dating, I'd call the police, not bang them in a car

Does she really think that italian nobles would be named Sage or Magda?

Tbh there are a few good concepts here: - Clea being a reincarnation (a cliche but a good one) - the fact that Magda keeps on aging but can't die, kinda dark, didn't expect it from Hillary Duff - the Elixir wearing off and Aemilia's family being rendered immobile, again it's DARK but cool - the Cursed Vengeance (????) being cursed to suffer and die before the age of 30 as a punishment for their greed - Sage possessing Nico's body, a fun little switcheroo, again, cliche but fine That's probably it but it still has some potential and it's sad to see it wasted

Never read the book, but going by your description of everbody recognising the protagonist as senador's daughter, even here in Brazil. Man, her mother must have done a s**t job, to be all over the news.

“Hey I read flowers in the attic,it was kind of hot”- I legitimately never wanted to lose my hearing before in my life until this came up

Sage and Clitoris They find the last place where Clay’s dad was A little vision of Clllfeeea’s dad Little does he know that Clalala And Clalis And Clalaes From Clales Trying to help Clalelases Him and Clala Hillary what the shit And then Cleala Clealalala and Sage Sage and Clalalalvava

Is no one gonna mention that the names dont even represent the places/eras people are from? Like sage isnt really an old italian name, and amelia isnt an ancient greek name ??

I'm a Brazilian who's really into politics, including american. I know most Brazilian Senators, and a good chunk of American Senators... I would NEVER be able to recognize the children of any of them... Brazilian or American. I think I wouldn't be able to recognize Obama's daughters if I saw them out of context, on the streets. So I kinda doubt random Brazilian street gangsters would be able to recognize the children of any politician in the world.

How many people recognize the children of politicians... from other countries? WAIT WAIT WAIT HIS NAME IS SAGE? AND HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE ITALIAN? NAME YOUR CHARACTERS APPROPRIATELY TO WHERE THEY ARE FROM!!!!

Me: Hillary Duff HAS a young adult series???? *Since when?!* Edit: Wtf this got 814 likes since I last saw it almost two months ago. Lol

"Sage and Clitoris..." Bahahahahah I had no idea this existed. Ty for this lol it made my day xD

Person: What’s the name of your protagonist? Author: Cleats P: What? A: Clear P: ? A: Clorox P: Never mind

Him: Do you even know what Ted Cruz's kids look like? Me: I don't even know what Ted Cruz looks like, and I live in Texas.

Him:Cleah and Sasha Me:Okay Him:Cleo and Sag Me:sure Him:Clitoris and Sage Me:.....WHAT!!!?!! I'm dead over here

I’m so glad my little sister(who was a crazy Hillary Duff stan when she was tiny) never found these books when she was in her twilight phase

"I read Flowers in the Attic and I thought it was kinda hot" Burn every copy of this book. It does not deserve to exist.

let's be real. Hilary probably wrote a couple lines. not 3 whole books

"The worst Twilight knock-off in existence." Oh, boy. Order some pizza and settle in, kids. EDIT: Wait...This series describes the Elixir of Life coming from a pond? That...That's the Fountain of Youth. The Elixir of Life is something completely different. I mean yeah, it technically does the same thing, but the whole point of the Elixir of Life is that it's man-made, which would explain why Clea's father, a doctor, would be searching for it (and why the Saviours think they can create more Elixir using Sage.) He's not an explorer or a geologist, he'd be researching the history of the Elixir and trying to recreate it in his own lab. If it's some natural element, then part of the main plot of this series makes no damn sense!

This kind of gives me hope in getting my own book published This is like the most likes and replies I have gotten on a comment

Read the description. Yikes. That would be so jarring

Me: (zoning out and drinking root beer) "Hey I've read Flowers in the Attic, that was kinda hot!" Me: (fucking chokes and dies)

i have to say, i really appreciate your commitment in saying clea’s name in every way you could think of

I think I need more hour long videos of you reviewing bad YA novels it's relaxing to listen to

Before the video: Hillary duff wrote ya books? Huh. After the video: ...huh?

really wish my first instance of finding my name in fictional literature wasn't .... in this

I thought Lizzy McGuire actress name was Lizzy McGuire for an embarrassing amount of time.

This is literally the entire Vampire Diaries series and spin offs

The ironic thing is that on Younger ( a show which I must admit I have binged entirely) She has her own imprint in a publishing company. I don't think they would've agreed to publish this.

No one noticed that that plot about the guy being immortal and the girl always reincarnating is the premise of the book Fallen by Lauren Kate?

Is no one gonna talk about that awesome introduction song?

8:14 For 3 years, I went to the same high school a state senator's daughter. My older sister had multiple classes with her, and I was in the same choir as her. I didn't know who her dad was until the third year, when my sister straight up told me. One does not simply recognize a senator's daughter.

"If that bothers you... get over it." I had to hit like for that alone.

Ohhhh godddd Sage I was rooting for you! We were all rooting for you! Can't have a YA without our male love interest being abusive, right?

I'm reminded of a great line from Lorien in Babylon 5, "Only those whose lives are brief can imagine that love is eternal."

I feel like this was her NaNoWriMo project and she just has the money to force people to have them print it.

I live on Brazil and I don't even know a single brazilian politician's child.

...if Sage's fiancé from Italy is still alive how can she have been reincarnated into Clea???

This trilogy was most likely ghostwritten. Still horrible either way.

some say Clea's famous surgeon dad is still searching for the elixir to this day

as a brazilian i'd like to say i don't even know my senators, let alone their kids. and let even more alone the u.s.a's senators

I had to rewind to make sure I wasn't hearing things, but at @ 10:05 James refers to the main character, Clea, as "Clitoris". And I laughed and laughed 😂

I legit couldn't finish flowers in the attic because of how cruel and visceral the abuse was descripted in it, not to mention the ick factor, so to hear it was kinda hot it's just... wow.

Yeah the "recognizing the senator's daughter" thing was really dumb. I don't even know if the senator from my home state even has kids. (And I voted for him, twice.) I know he's married, but couldn't tell you the name of his wife let alone recognize her in a lineup.

"Sorry, my memory's going, I have to hit my girlfriend later" *OOF* In all seriousness though, this series sounds like a big fucking yikes

I wanna write a nasty YA novel just to get you to review it 💖

I subscribed purely for your rant about abuse in YA books. It's a huge problem that teaches younger people, and especially young girls, that violence can be present in a loving relationship and that it's normal. Props for pointing all that out, dude.

There is literally another book series exactly like this called Evermore. Elixir is a blatant rip-off of it.

The best part of hearing about this awful book was your pronunciation of the name lmao Honestly, anyone willing to throw themselves on the sword by reading a crappy novel and retelling it on KZfaq is a hero in my book! You have a new sub sir! lol

Sounds like Twilight meets Tuck Everlasting. God, I hope they aren't set in the same universe...

I love the way you describe these absolutely absurd plot points in such a matter of fact way.

now is probably not the time to mention Tyra Banks also wrote a YA novel...

I am no longer concerned about getting my novel published. P.s. "I read 'Flowers in the Attic; it was kinda hot" is an iconic phrase that has been burned into my mind forever now.

Oh wow, Flowers in the Attic! I haven't heard that in 25 years and the PTSD is back, baby!

Hillary Duff wrote an YA Book? "His whole thing is to get cuckolded over and over by the same guy." What “Hey I read flowers in the attic, it was kind of hot” WHAAAATTTT

Tbh it sounds more like vampire diaries than twilight

I wanna write a supernatural YA romance wherein the male love interest is actually good to the female lead and doesn't do anything creepy or abusive. Can't be _that_ hard.

Why would you subject yourself to that?! Are you mad?

So, when they removed Nico's soul from his body, didn't they actually kill him then? They could also have tried to find a way to get Sage's soul out of this body that doesn't belong to him and restore Nico's soul in it. I really pity Rayna. She has to look at the walking body of her dead boyfriend while knowing (or not?) that her friend with her boyfriend gave the final blow to Nico so that they can have his body to use in their own relationship. That's so fucked up.

“I read flowers in the attic, it was kinda hot” sounds like it came right from the My Immortal fanfic. Iconic. Btw, when talking about how a kid called Sage can’t be Italian, it should be mentioned that Hillary has a cover of Volare. I do not recommend listening to it.

Good lord. Clea being known as a senator's/sergeon's kid slightly reminds me of the Empress Theressa book. In where almost everyone in the world recognise Theressa for being perfect in almost every way.

She called it 'Ancient Greece' Sweet jesus. I enjoyed this so much...😂 Gotta sub.

As a Brazilian I can confirm that we all know every single one of each family members of all US senators.

I had no idea Hilary duff wrote a YA novel until this video and it’s as disappointing as I guessed lol Also, didn’t the Jenner kids “write” one a few years ago? I wonder if that’s just as bad

I remember seeing those books in my local bookstore when I was a teen and was quite intrigued, but I had other books that were urgent so I never actually bought them. Thank you for at least letting me know it was not worth it so I can die in peace lol. Also, I'm a Brazilian and I wouldn't even know most senators from my own country, and definitely not the CHILDREN'S senators from *another* country.

You should read Marie Brennan's Memoirs of Lady Trent series. Dragons in an alternate Victorian era, what's not to love 😁

Pamela Anderson wrote a novel. At the Pamela Anderson Comedy Central roast, Bea Arthur read aloud from it. Bea Arthur got more laughs than every other roaster that night combined.

My middle school library had these backwards. So excited to see it in the right order!!! I think it made more sense backwards tbh!

that whole reincarnation thing instantly made me think of the evermore book series

21:18 "There were stakes involved" is my new favorite line when referring to Twilight!

Right now I just might be experiencing cognitive dissonance, I thought Duff was smarter than this. And all I know is that I have seen The Modern Cinderella a few times.

Got an ad for a bad twilight rip-off during this video. Sounds about right.

Man, I hope 'Emilia' is supposed to be a name she took in the present day to blend in, not her original name. Unless, of course, she was born into a family of a roman proconsul named Aemilius during the time Greece was a roman province, and was named Aemilia according to roman naming conventions ... ... I'm already putting more thought into this than the author, aren't I?

I think the only famous surgeon I know is Ben Carson so....

What happened with the mumified ex-girlfriend? Damn, her mother really must've hated her to do that.

You know, I can see this idea working somehow. You just need a fix everything

WHAT Hilary Duff wrote a book series?! Huh. Yikes. Look. At least a male lead in a YA novel was finally responsible. How many sex scenes in YA novels had condoms? Yea, exactly.

when he said now we move on to DEVOTED ... i was like that was only ONE book till now? i cant take more of this torturous story

whenever there is a story about immortals and how there are no ways to kill them, I always wonder how come no one ever thought of chopping their head off

Your voice is sleep asmr.

Her dad is Dr. Oz... lol.

SO EASY TO FIX: The recognition of this family could easily be fixed by throwing one event into the news that makes them famous. Mom makes momentous speech siting daughter...Dad saves many lives at a single disaster and his daughter assists...easy.

This would make for a funny episode of The Simpsons. Picture it: Lisa reads the first two books, despises them, demands an explanation from Hilary Duff, eventually finds her only Hilary Duff's shitfaced off of Duff Beer while writing the third book and uses this as a PSA against underage drinking. "Say no to alcohol, so you won't write garbage like Hilary Duff." And I thought Twilight was originally written as a joke on the part of the author before it got out of hand.

Why tf does it say “New York times bestseller” on the cover?? I knew the whole thing was a racket, this is proof!