I honestly feel so overwhelmed. Every time I look up how to be healthy, how to keep in shape, ect there is so much information, often contradictory, that I put my phone down and sigh. I just want to be healthy, feel strong, and look good to me.

I’m so glad to see this growth. Going extreme into weight loss or extreme into HAES means that so many people in the middle get cut out and left feeling alone and confused. While I think intuitive eating is the ultimate ideal, that’s not going to be reality for everyone. Some people THRIVE on structure, it’s why some people love their 9-5 desk job and other people can’t stand the idea of having a boss. I personally LOVE structure. I truly thrive with it. And using some structure and general guidelines as well as listening to my body’s hunger cues, I’ve gotten to a better place mentally than I’ve been since I was a small child. I enjoy a challenging hike and roasted cauliflower, but also don’t feel guilt going and enjoying a soul-food filled meal with people I love. It’s balance and finding what is best for every individual

Wow. You’re on a journey too, and you’re asking yourself questions because you truly want to help your clients. Thumbs up!

I saw one of your videos a couple months ago - you said something along the lines of "if you're listening to your body and eating nutritious foods/meals, your body will adjust to its natural size" - it was the first time in my 25 years of being overweight/consumed by diet culture where everything surrounding food and nutrition just made sense to me. if anything, since seeing that video, I've been eating more - I've just been more conscious of what I'm putting in to my body - and not based off of what will make me lose or gain weight, but based off of what makes me feel energized and not like crap. I've unintentionally lost 15 pounds since then and I don't even worry about if I'll keep losing weight because I just know I will now that I'm living a healthier lifestyle. I guess what I'm trying to say is that, I think what's best for people seeking help from a dietitian to lose weight, is to see someone like you who has their general health in mind, not just the number on their scale.

I adore your heart to serve people well and for practicing in the “gray.”

There is something I wish more HAES/ Intutive Eating/Anti-Diet/Body Positvity influencers would address. There is a lot out there about how our bodies are biologically predisposed to seek foods that are high in fat, salt, and sugar because those are the things that helped our paleolithic ancestors survive. A LOT of money in the food industry is going into research to find the right balance of those elements to encourage consumers to eat more. (It's not a cruel attempt to make everyone fat. It's purely a money issue. Lay's just wants you to eat more chips because it fills their pockets). I can see how people can learn to listen to their body's signals and trust their body when it comes to eating foods that are more or less directly from nature. However, what about highly processed foods that are designed to make consumers want to eat more of them? Why has nobody addressed the psychological and biological impact of highly processed foods in regards to intuitive eating? Now, I'm not saying highly processed foods are bad in any way, but I do feel like this is something that needs to be addressed because while eliminating foods for an arbitrary reason (ie: it's "bad") can lead to disordered eating patterns, I believe that intuitive eating may be more difficult for people who live in "food deserts" and eat too many highly processed foods simply because of all of the salt, fat, and sugar in the foods and how it affects the body. I would love to hear your thoughts about this.

Love seeing your growth. I’d lost weight, going from morbidly obese to normal, and kept it off, just by changing my diet to satiating, whole foods. Then I gained a lot back while struggling with anxiety. I realised while my diet hadn’t been punishing, I hadn’t addressed the reasons I became overweight to start with (chaotic food upbringing, a history of deprivation then binging, using food as a crutch when under pressure). So I started planning and cooking again but also incorporating intuitive principles and mindfulness and I’m slowly seeing the weight drop but also cravings and binging reducing as well. Every time now I get an insatiable craving for a ‘bad’ food, I have a pep talk to my body that it can have it if it really wants it, nothing is banned. Then I pay attention afterwards to how I feel (satisfied, bloated, still hungry etc). It feels like my body is slowly relearning it’s intuition around food. You can definitely do both, it just takes patience. It’s definitely a journey. We don’t expect people with anorexia to get over it quickly. Why do we expect people with disordered eating leading to obesity to change quickly?

“Shift your focus to behaviors rather than the number on the scale”. This line hit me like a ton of bricks and I had to type it out so it will stick. I was fully immersed in diet culture when I found your channel and your videos are really helping me heal from my body dysmorphia and disordered eating. I can’t thank you enough for thoughtfully taking the time to put together such great content. You are truly helping people and making a difference!!

I started my journey to intuitive eating by asking myself 2 questions of what I was eating: 1) will this nourish my body? 2) will it nourish my soul (or the slightly less hokey "will it bring me pleasure") It helped reframe my relationship with food and also helped me identify my motivations when it came to food. A salad will surely nourish my body, and eating Haagen-Dasz on my couch nourishes my soul and that's a pretty good reason to eat them both :) it took a long while and an awful lot of soul nurturing for me to merge the two but now I get a lot more pleasure from almost everything that I eat. Once I started identifying why I was eating what I was eating it was easier for me to make mindful decisions about food. I realized that binging on processed snack food really wasn't nourishing my body or my soul and it really made me crave good quality snacks like my overpriced ice cream or apples with almond butter or that really decadent full fat Greek yogurt (I'm talking the 10% stuff). It also made me much less inclined to eat larger portions than I really needed to because I felt fulfilled. I get excited now at the prospect of adding more vegetables to my dinner, or picking the perfect protein to go with it, and finding different ways to bump up the nutrition. I love being able to nourish my body and it nourishes my soul to do so. I dont ask myself the questions anymore because they're habit now

I am still calorie counting a year later. Down 75lbs, and doing very well healthwise! Diabetes is now not medicated and under control. I am very comfortable in what I am doing. I seem to have found what works for me!

I definitely feel like intuitive eating helped me. I feel like I’m more focused on my health then losing weight. Before on my diets if i had ben and jerrys in the Fridge and told myself no I’m on a diet i was way more tempted to break that diet and eat it. Now I have that ice cream in the fridge and I admire it and will eventually eat it if i want to without guilt and I even noticed I have way more self control. I still haven’t touched it yet but not because of a diet but simply because I haven’t craved it yet and its been a couple weeks which normally by now on a diet i would break that. So definitely seeing a better and improved relationship with food

Something that is really helpful for me when losing weight while eating intuitively is to eat whatever I want when I’m hungry and nothing when I’m not. You’re not going to always want something unhealthy. I’m learning that when I’m hungry yes I can have three large cookies, but I know from experience that my stomach will hurt and I’ll feel really tired. So instead I’m going to eat 1-2 cookies and maybe some fruit or yogurt on the side and if I’m full from that I stop eating and still feel great afterwards.

I cried watching this. You made me feel so validated and really feel like I could improve my relationship with food to help not only make myself feel better, but without sacrificing my goals to be the best me on the outside as well.

I like your approach! I don't promote intentional weight loss or advocate for it but as a personal trainer, a lot of people come to me in order to lose weight. I would never turn someone down just for wanting to lose weight. I just turn the focus to behaviors and moving their bodies for health, feeling good, etc. without dismissing the fact that they want to lose weight. I simply don't bring up weight loss unless they do. And when they do, I always talk about being kind to ourselves. I like the idea of saying that we can't really control if we will lose weight or not, that ultimately, our body will decide. I'm an intuitive eating advocate and I consider myself a HAES, non-diet personal trainer but I think we have to meet people where they are and if someone still wants to lose weight in the end, I won't send them away because I rather they have the help of someone like me (or another trainer with similar philosophies) who can encourage kindness and incorporating healthy behaviors instead of going to see someone who will promote damaging and unsafe methods. I think there's a middle ground and in the end, we are here to help the client and guide them, not tell them what to do.

As long as you are honest with your clients that long-term weight loss isn't possible for 95% or more of people and also warn them of the dangers and health issues associated with weight-cycling and that restriction/dieting is one of the top predictors of weight gain, I guess there's no conflict. It is about being informed in the end, at which point we have autonomy and if people want to restrict (which is what intentional weight loss requires) that's their choice. As a professional though, I feel there is a duty there to gently inform people that there are dangers/risks with dieting and make sure that your client is fine with short term results that may lead to long term results that are the opposite of what they want and poorer health. Where I find ethical issues is when professionals have different standards for people in smaller bodies vs larger bodies, and also when they claim to be HAES or to teach IE practices but also are fine with advocating restriction and dieting. Intentional weight loss requires restriction in the end, and we know there are very really biological consequences for this. It might be discouraging to say "diets don't work" but... we have the research shows that they don't work. It might suck to fight diet culture and have to tell people things they don't want to hear, but that might ethical in the end because it is what the research shows. Saying "you can lose weight slowly and gradually, intentionally" is... a diet. Research on "slow" diets also shows this method doesn't work. Some people who make peace with food and eat intuitively do lose weight. Some people don't. Some gain. But intentional weight loss is restriction and restriction has never been shown to work long-term. But my anorexic brain hears "you can reach a comfortable weight" from a professional and immediately starts thinking "oh, it's okay then/I should be controlling my eating more"... anyway, this is my two cents as someone who lives in a larger body with a restrictive ED who has been through all this diet shit for 22 years. Holding on to intentional weight loss seems like it isn't going to lead to health since it doesn't lead to long-term results and has so many potentially negative downsides and almost no upside.

Thank you SO MUCH for making this video. When I first started looking into intuitive eating, it made so much sense to me. I was like, this is great, this sounds like a much more sustainable way to reach a healthier weight without having to stress about calories or carbs or setting meal times. I even started listening to podcasts about it, and they are SO DISCOURAGING. The podcast Food Psych especially, she'll bring on guests and they'll mention they started out wanting to lose weight through intuitive eating and they both have a great laugh about the ridiculousness of someone "in a larger body" trying to become "someone in a smaller body" and how diets don't work, and HAES and you need to make peace with the body you're in... I'm 100 lbs overweight. I'm physically uncomfortable. And this movement is telling me that I basically have to suck it up because I'll never be able to get to a size I'm comfortable with. It made me want to give up and keep binge eating if it was going to be pointless anyway.

This is the video I’ve been looking for. I’ve really always rejected diet culture and do my best to not participate in my personal life with friends. However, I’m 5’4 and at my heaviest was 301 pounds. I really doubt 301 pounds is my “happy weight”. Telling someone who weights 300 pounds to not to try to even lose weight cause diets don’t work is dangerous. I started using noom which is at its heart is a cico diet. However, Noom does introduce the idea of intuitive eating and teaches nutrition. Also does introduce the idea that you may want to rethink your ideal weight and look for more of your happy weight. I have lost 50 pounds and I never feel deprived. I am eating the healthiest I ever have. I still eat Doritos and Reese’s peanut butter cups when the craving strikes. I guess my point is I’m glad to hear someone say intuition eating may not be the best option but to try and incorporate the concepts into your life. I am finding I need structure in my diet or I feel lost. When I am lost I end up eating poorly with large portion sizes. I hope to someday get to a point where I can trust myself to intuitively eat, but it’s going to take some time and more structure.

This is so interesting. I was very overweight (close to 300 pds) and am now at 170 pds. I achieved this by working out everyday, but also by extreme dieting. I now have trouble with binge eating and intense calorie restriction. I am near a goal weight (I guess) of 160 pds, but mentally, it is always a roller coaster. I understand that I must eat what my body needs and I have to listen to it, but I also feel extreme shame about it. I know that I am nearing a state where I will have to maintain (I don't think I can have losing weight as a goal forever) and I am anxious about it because I feel as if my worth comes from the fact that I am now ''good'' at losing weight. This video and your channel has given me a lot of perspective that I needed. So, thank you a lot! :)

As someone who is studying to become a dietitian, I applaud you for trying to meet individuals where they are, and being compassionate about their approaches. Thank you for being genuine and understanding. Although I disagree with some specific points you made about weight loss. I don't necessarily think it's fair to say someone doesn't have control over their weight. Sure, weight fluctuates based on numerous factors (that time of the month, menopause, pregnancy, water weight, bloating, etc.), and yes, we can't control those factors, but just as you stated the phrase "most diets fail" as discouraging, it may also seem discouraging to some people that they have no control over their weight. Having no control over your weight has a defeatist semblance to it since there is a logical way to at least maintain your weight i.e. maintaining a caloric balance, and exercising. Also, many people aren't able to eat intuitively because of their own circumstances or situation. What I mean by that is just as anorexia can cause hormonal dysfunction, so can being "overweight" or "obese". The hunger hormones leptin and ghrelin don't work as well if you're someone who is heavier than what they should be. This can make it difficult to know when you're hungry and when you're not, causing difficulty when trying to listen to your body. Finally, people who have eating disorders (anorexia, bulimia, binge eating disorder, and others all across the spectrum), mental health disorders, and any other disorder that makes it challenging to eat better, and to live a healthier lifestyle should seek professional help if they can, instead of seeking out a certain way of eating. It matters how people face their issues and handle them instead of focusing on the symptoms only i.e. disordered eating, and not the cause. What matters is espousing a healthier lifestyle, and that goes beyond eating healthy and exercising. P.S. This wasn't meant to be critical, you are a lovely dietitian! The health crisis we have is definitely a challenge, and as dietitians I understand we are doing the best we can to help the people we are serving. Best wishes to you and your family!😊

Watched your channel for about 8 months and never have I loved or related to one of your videos as much as this one. Living in the grey is tricky but human beings are endlessly complex so a case by case approach resonates with me so much more. I just love to see someone grow and shed old belief systems that no longer serve them. I can imagine what a hard shift this is for your channel and career but just know you’re doing it with absolute grace and you’ve got support!

I'm 200 pounds but have a history of atypical anorexia. Now I'm stuck in this state of being obese and wanting to lose weight the healthy way but my brain just can't do it without obsessing and being disordered.

I agree with the idea of gentle, positive changes. 50lbs down so far. Here's my experience: Sometimes you need to take something out of the diet for health reasons. It's easier to take things one at a time, and preferably add something else that is rewarding back in. I have brought full fat milk back into the house because I am a dairy lover and I hate skim milk. Now I have a small glass of milk whenever I want instead of a tall glass of juice, and that's my thing. For a reward or when I need to destress, I go to the archery range. I go "off diet" when I'm at other people's houses and stick to what works at home. No stress. It's not a race.

Compassion for myself is actually a goal of mine this year

This is such a difficult topic to tackle, for a myriad of reasons. But I have to say as someone with a clinical psych MS degree that your guidance on taking things slow, making small changes, having a slow wt loss goal, and focusing on self-kindness and compassion is totally on-point with the psych science for health and long term maintenance. 👍🙂

Totally agree when you said that intuitive eating doesn't work for some! I've been tracking macros for 6 years, and the thought of not tracking stresses me out! I love that I can eat what I want, and still maintain an appropriate caloric intake dependent on my personal goals at the time.

It's been hard to find a intuitive dietician in my city. This rant gave me the confidence to just take the leap and trust that any good dietician can adapt to my needs. TY.

Embarking on the IE journey and I feel like I'm in the gray area. It's comforting to see a professional there, too. Thanks for sharing!

Thank you for this video. I was practicing intuitive eating before having my baby, and adopted calorie counting and healthy eating habits post baby to lose the weight. It made me realize that I wasn’t being very healthy before and needed to change my eating habits. However I incorporate flexibility, compassion and an overall body positive attitude and self talk into my current approach. I don’t feel like I belong in the intuitive eating communities I used to be part of because they are so anti weight loss, but I wanted to pursue weight loss to feel myself again and fit into my clothes again. I constantly use my IE knowledge to check myself and make sure I’m not being too restrictive. I feel really good overall, physically and mentally. I love the structure of my nutrition and I love feeling myself again as I’m almost back to my pre baby size. Thank you for supporting those in the grey area trying to find their balance.

We can’t even all agree that the world is round 😂 if that make you feel better. Your honesty is very appreciated and refreshing✨

When you say the changes must be "easy and pleasurable" - I feel like that's not always true. When ones health isn't in dire risk (complications from diabetes, cardio-respiratory issues) then the changes may not be easy or pleasurable. Sometimes making real and important changes are uncomfortable. Let's say it's not about diet but about a bad habit at work that is putting you at risk of losing your job (like playing on your phone too much). You may have to leave your phone in your car or put away somewhere out of reach. That would be uncomfortable and not easy, but it'd be required. Are you more referring to changes for a person who may be fighting higher weight but is otherwise healthy? Then, yes, the small changes are great and I agree. I also get what you mean by being a slave to diet culture. I was and can sometimes fall victim unless I force myself to put down the food diary, etc. Again...an uncomfortable change for me but necessary.

Abbey, you are helping me so much by making this intuitive eating series. I've been struggling with the full range of disordered eating for five years, and stumbling upon your content is the first time I've really understood what it can mean to accept love and respect for your body. Hearing someone be able to objectively describe a very confusing diet-world with such an open and understanding attitude genuinely put me to tears. The good you are doing on this platform is more than you know! Thank you!

"Its possible to learn some of these techniques, whilst still holding it in your heart somehow." This is basically how I'm reducing my eating disorder tendancies. By acknowledging that I still want to lose weight, but getting my health in order. Before I make any other decisions. Nothing else has worked.

I count calories while trying to be mindful with how I eat. Just because I log it, it doesn’t mean I have to eat it. I make sure to check in with myself while eating, so that I don’t overeat in that moment. I’m a work in progress but I think this meshing of the two can work for me.

I respect your gray area mentality so much. It's a rare voice on KZfaq and even in general. You're very discerning and thoughtful. I appreciate you.

I think your point of view is great and makes a lot of sense. As a weight training athlete I'm intentionally cycling weight in order to gain muscle. Your videos have helped me a lot in the all or nothing mentallity of dieting and therefore binging. A few months ago I was eating really healthy (oftentimes not even in a deficit) until I had a meal or a day where I just let loose and ate everything in site. Now I try to include small treats everyday, which makes it much easier to adhere to my macro goals and is also gentler on my body. Once I'm not interested in training as hard and often anymore I think the goal will be to start to eat intuitively, but for now this works and I'm glad I found your videos and am able to learn more about intuitive eating, while not being judge for dieting :)

Abby you are so sweet in the delivery of your messages and I can relate to you so much. As an RD2be with a disordered eating past I sometimes worry that while I whole heartedly agree with the intuitive eating and anti diet message, that I may project some of my own issues on others. & while I love the HAES movement, it doesn’t always feel like a place people can exercise body autonomy if the do want to lose weight. On the other hand, I feel so frustrated by RD’s in the field who promote such fat phobic and diet culture ridden messages. It is so so so important to have people like you standing in the middle for our field. You get me so excited to get started in my career. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for all you do. ❤️❤️❤️

I'm in the grey area and it leaves me not knowing what to do. I struggle with binge eating disorder and related food restriction after I've gone on a snack binge. I'm 315lbs. Every person I've seen for nutrition so far has suggested things that seem harmless but are extremely triggering to me. ("Eat no more than 1300 calories a day, don't have sauces, ONLY drink water, no butter, only oils or oil sprays, only chicken, turkey, or fish for your meat") I've tried consuming less butter, I've started consuming less red meat, I'm eating more salads, and drinking water far more often. What sucks is my eating disorder is ignored and all they see is me over 300lbs at 5'4". I know I do need to be at a healthier weight for my personal body, but at what cost? I left the office crying after that because I was so overwhelmed. I understand I shouldn't eat refined carbs and processed foods as much as I do, but it made me feel like food shouldn't be enjoyable because I'm fat, if that makes sense.

This is probably the best video by any dietitian I have ever seen. I have seen several different dietitians, both weight lost and HAES and I have been so sad because I feel like I don't fit in anywhere and I feel all alone. This really helped me feel better. Food is such a sensitive topic for everyone and I wish more people understood that we are all different and have different needs.

I used to be 8-10 kg heavier (depending on the season). I just changed a couple things that were super easy for me to do. I started cooking for myself more, I added more vegetables to the dishes I was making, I reduced my sugar intake a little bit and walked more. Nothing dramatic. It's been 5 years now and I haven't weight that much ever since.

Abbey, your voice and dialogue online is so valuable! Thank you for being so open to listening and adapting how you approach things ❤️ I lie in the grey area with my relationship with food. I am often able to practice intuitive eating, and I'm getting better with practice, but my mental health is very up and down. So on a bad day the best thing I can do is to plan my meals in advance and be strict on those days, and I even have a little emergency meal plan saved on my phone for those dark days, so I don't need to think about it. This video was so relevant to me and was so encouraging. Thank you girl!

Thank you. I think everyone on either end of the spectrum has been very vocal, making people in the middle feel like they're the only ones who think that way. But I love that you eloquently expressed this middle ground.

Love this!!! I've been living in the grey for a couple of years now. Tried intuitive eating, it was useful to help me find peace with food but once I got there I hated not having structure and the continuous weight gain I experienced. I started watching what I ate and slowly lost weight and have kept it off for two years effortlessly. I still practice some of the principles of intuitive eating and I believe that's why I haven't slipped back into disordered eating. I think intuitive eating is just another tool. It doesn't apply to everyone, in any circumstance, every single time. Like all things in life......it depends......and it should be nuanced. The vilification of diets usually has no context. Ultimately pursuing weight loss is a personal choice that people should be free to exercise without being ostracized.

Thanks for making this video! I lost about 20 pounds last year by pretty much simply counting calories but not restricting any sorts of food, and only losing ~1 lb a week while taking 1-2 week breaks from being in a deficit every 3-4 weeks (+ increased activity, mostly walking and some resistance training). It worked really well for me, and I have gone back to trying to eating intuitively and not counting, but I've always been one to struggle with weight because I do fall in the category of "I overeat because it tastes good." I respect the HAES movement and even after reaching my "goal" weight which I feel is the weight my body is comfortable at, I'm still on the lower end of "overweight" in traditional terms. But I do think it is really great you are acknowledging that everyone approaches food differently, and even if someone's goal is weight loss they should be able to do it in their own healthy way, that works for them, but might not work for someone else (in my case, calorie counting worked great for me.)

thank you so much for this video. I was seeing an intuitive eating and HAES dietician because I wanted to learn how to really get in touch with my body's needs however I also medically need to lose weight. I have severe joint issues due to multiple rheumatic disorders. She was completely unwilling to even discuss the healthy way to deal with weight loss even though I stressed that I needed to take the pressure off my joints that the added weight has created. I felt ashamed for mentioning that I weighed myself and judged for wanting to lose weight at all.

Hi Abbey. I just want to say that I loved this video. Thank you for holding space for this topic. When I had anorexia, it was important for me to go “all in” with weight gain in recovery. However, after recovering a few years later from purging disorder, it was my goal to compassionately lose weight. It has been this pursuit of weight loss without a disorder that has prompted me to find acceptance for my body. I am working closely with my therapist as well as my GP, who have been with me from active disorder to thriving recovery. We came to the conclusion that my desire to lose weight after recovery came from a place of desiring my set point instead of listening to the voice of a disorder. I have found that I love now that my body has worked to keep me alive through severe challenges, & I know that even if I do not reach my loose weight goal, I will be content trusting my body. Thanks again for supporting your followers & allowing for gray areas in your perspective. Much love.

I really love how you've been approaching this middle ground between HAES and "dieting" (eating with the intention of losing weight). While I've always loved your sass when it comes to commentary on What I Eat in a Day videos (I'm looking at you, Bananas!), I also struggle with how judgemental many people are of people who do want to lose weight. I'm currently on WW (Weight Watchers). I do measure and track my foods- and I have chosen to be on the plan that has me tracking points for the MOST foods. However, for me, that structure is helping me learn about what my body really needs. Allowing myself full permission to eat ice cream and cookies whenever I want and keeping a kitchen stocked with sweets meant I ate a TON of sweets. I needed to choose a plan that makes me think twice about when I indulge. This restriction has helped me. It didn't make me crave them more or binge like many people assume will happen. Instead, having times where I consume little to no added sugar and times where I DO indulge in sweets has helped me see how sugar affects my body. It wasn't until I experienced how I felt WITHOUT sugar that I realized that too much sugar can affect my anxiety. It's the same way that some people need to follow an elimination diet to pinpoint which foods, if any, are causing health issues. I have not eliminated any foods (except artificial sweeteners because I learned long ago that they make me feel like crap). I still eat dessert with real sugar. I go to all you can eat buffets. I have days where all I want is to eat veggies. I have days where I end up stressed and eat cake for dinner. Still, I use those experiences to teach me. In all, I'm down about 22 pounds since the end of September. My ultimate goal is to not need to track my food- at least with not as much precision as I am currently. Maybe this means switching to a plan with more 0 point foods down the line. Perhaps this means tracking sporadically. I don't know. Regardless, I am trying to shape my eating habits so that I'm eating in a way that is sustainable for me.

What you said at 11:48 is exactly how I felt when I tried to go “all in.” I needed more structure. I’m approaching IE in a way that makes sense to me now. Finally, I feel healthy where I didn’t before. I finally feel like I’m not insane since someone is actually addressing the issue that some people can’t simply reside to all or nothing attitude when it comes to diet and health.

Ahh thank you for the content you produce and for always providing a fresh perspective. The nutrition industry can be incredibly dogmatic and even as a Dietetics student, I'm often finding it hard to navigate what the best method is. I think many practitioners have a tendency to be devoted to one strict set of principles. Having the humility to admit that there isn't a one size fits all is really admirable - compassion comes first! You're a great advocate for the Dietetic's space, Abbey!

Thank you for this video! Just started a new eating journey, after 15 years of disorder eating. It’s been really hard for me, because after 2 years at home without moving my body much, and depressed, eating fast foods everyday, I want to go back to having a better diet, feeling strong, and feeling my best self. I’m trying to balance wanting to eat well, and have a strong and fitter body, with the temptations of diet culture. Being in the gray is so hard, but this video and your channel definitely help me a lot.

Seriously, you are the content the health community needs! You are constantly growing, all about removing the toxic diet culture, while still rooting for health and wellness in its many forms. I feel motivated to be healthy every time I listen to you. And healthy doesn't mean skinny anymore for me. It means a healthy relationship with food, listening to my body, fighting to have my best self! Thank you!

Hello Abbey! I know this is one of your older videos but I just want to say that I watch your videos everyday, and I truly appreciate your amazing work. You have really been a great source of wisdom of me about nutrition. I have been the victim of having constant food noise taking over my thoughts and my hunger cues were all messed up. However, over the past few months I am finally getting in touch with my natural hunger cues and it has added huge quality to my life. Thank you so much Abbey! You are so inspirational! P.S. Hunger Crushing Combo has become a part of my partner’s and myself’s daily vocabulary!

Thank you for acknowledging that intentional weight loss doesn’t need to be painful or emotionally damaging for every individual. Everyone is different! Let’s just support eachother in our goals 🙌🏼

I’m loving this series. I do have a goal of weight loss for my health, but I know diets don’t work for me. I’ve gone through cycles of binging, purging, and restricting since I can remember. When I “diet”, I fall into the cycle of losing weight quickly and gaining it right back. I have gone through stages of intuitive eating when not in an active ED cycle, though I didn’t know that was a name for it. I noticed that I tend to eat better when I’m eating intuitively. I lose a little weight slowly because I’m not binging. I’m not hungry all the time, and it’s easier to keep that weight off. Eventually, I learned that was intuitive eating and have been wanting to look into it more. After a recent ED relapse, I’ve finally decided to learn more about intuitive eating and try to make a lifestyle out of what I know works the best for me. I’m hoping that I’ll lose weight simply because I’m reducing the binging. I do plan to track my weight and maybe my macros from time to time to make sure I’m eating balanced, but I’m going to be compassionate with myself and not put too much pressure on myself. I have always had a goal weight in mind, but I’m scrapping that and just going to let my body tell me what it’s own healthy point is. After over 35 years of disordered eating, I’m feeling better about this process. Thanks Abbey!

I lost weight with intuitive eating. I am 5’9 and went from 140 to 133 pounds. I truly eat whatever I want, whenever I want with no restrictions. Sometimes I eat candy or even ice cream for breakfast but then I always crave something more nutritious for the other meals. I don’t think about food at all. Listen to your bodies, folks!

This bringing me to tears. Thanks for your honesty and willingness to engage with these tough questions. I’ve been looking for clarity on this for a long time and your thoughts really help!

As someone who used to have an eating disorder and is now recovered, I agree that there’s a place for both views. I haven’t watched all of your videos on intuitive eating so correct me if I’m wrong but I feel like for people with really disordered eating behaviors some structure is necessary to learn what a healthy diet is. When I started recovery, I wouldn’t have known what to do if my dietitian didn’t give me a structure and then keep track of calories for me. Now several years later I don’t need that and can eat intuitively but I think a structured diet can really be a good starting point.

LOVE this video so much!! So important to remember that we all have different goals, and we shouldn't put down anyone else's goals just because they may be different to our own. At the end of the day I think we all want to reach a point of inner peace and a healthy relationship with food, exercise, and our bodies...Amen to "meeting people where they are!" x

You know, I’m almost 60 yo and I’ve been calorie counting since Sept. this is it … I’m done with all the fad garbage stuff out there! I’m gonna do this because I love feeling good and having energy!! I’m going slow, making lifestyle changes that make me feel great and most of all trying to be consistent. I just finished watching your intuitive eating series and I had been thinking… “ya know , I love these thoughts but I really think she’s missing something. 🤔🤔I think you CAN incorporate calorie counting AND intuitive eating together and lose weight in a healthy gentle self kind way”. Then… I came across THIS video!! I felt like this one balanced all the other ones out… Awesome👍 ! You should make this your 11th one in your series. Thanks for all the great info! So helpful😊

I've never been happier since I started taking this approach. I used to be an orthodox eater, trying to sustain a super healthy vegan diet, no processed food, that would last 2-3 months top. And then binge... and binge... for 2-3 months. It was a sad cycle. I'm focusing on discipline now. Keeping my kitchen organized, getting my veggies delivered, cooking every day, there are no cheat days. Food's good now. Thank you!

As a fellow registered dietitian, this is so helpful because I’m still (even though this was 2 years ago) seriously dealing with this in my career. The divide needs to be talked about more

Thank you, thank you, thank you. I am 5ft 1" have been what I considered over weight all my life and very unhappy with myself. At 175 lbs and 54 years of age I was not in a good place mentally. I started to count my calorie and understanding the value that food has in calories so yes I calculated my calorie intake and dropped 65 lbs in 1 year 3 months. I felt I was educating myself and was empowered to be healthier and happier, it motivated me to workout (which I do 6 days a week) and I have more respect for my self because I am in control of me and my healthy life. I am now almost 57 years old and have maintained my weight, I do no longer need to count calories as I know instinctually what I am eating. I so appreciate your honesty and nonjudgmental way of speaking to us, to me what you said that we are all different and that we are not weak, that what works for me might not work for you is so honest and empowering in my journey to a healthy and mentally happy place that am today!

IMO and what works for me is really listening to your body and trying to keep the “pleasure” in a reasonable place. That means I try to eat when I’m hungry and stop when I’m full by mainly listening to my body using the hunger scale. On the other hand if I feel like eating sweets I will eat some. With these less nutritious foods I like to ask myself If I really want it (if it’s not a hell yes, it’s a hard no!). If I wouldn’t do it i would eat only processed food

Just want you to know you've made a huge difference to me & the way I approach food. I now have it in my head that to feel great after a meal to get in carbohydrates, proteins, healthy fats & micronutrients. Made a huge difference! I am so satisfied & have stopped binging!!!

i went to a therapist who specialized in disordered eating, i learned how to eat intuitively, and lost about 60 lbs unintentionally. since i’ve been out of therapy, i have a much healthier relationship with food. lately, i have been feeling like i’m treading water. i want to lose weight but also not spiral back into disordered eating. i feel it will always be hard for me to reconcile those two things but your video helped remind me that it’s not black and white; i need to move forward with compassion and patience. thanks for your videos, abbey

I really loved this video, this is the kind of grey I am living in right now and it felt great to hear a health care professional discuss it

You are the ONLY other professionals I have heard talk about this. I work with people with diabetes and have been grappling with exactly this issue and recently come to similar conclusions - it's taken me about 2 years!. You are, for me, one of the best things on KZfaq!

Abbey, thank you so much for this video. It's so evident that you care for your clients and their health journey, which is different for everyone! I love that you stress being gentle and compassionate when exploring your health. Keep up the good work and keep making informative videos!!

I’d like to know more about hypothyroidism from a diet perspective

I totally agree. I was at a higher weight (within the healthy weight range) eating an intuitive healthy diet and I was not happy with my body. I started eating healthier and exercising more to lose weight and I feel better mentally and physically now that I’ve lost weight. I think you can intentionally lose weight in a healthy and positive way

I really love a person who can fully say "my beliefs and philosophies change and evolve, and that's OK" instead of digging in their heels and doubling down on an idea that may not be fully true or ideal. This is one reason I'm such a fan of Abbey. She has the guts and the integrity to go, "you know? I think I'm seeing some parts of this issue differently, I should incorporate these ideas into my current view of a certain subject." Really girl, Bravo.

Wow I got so deep into this comment section… Honestly your videos so dense with information and good tips and comforting words that I have to keep pausing it, going into a Google dock and voice memo memoing my favorite parts

Changing your point of view in light of differing opinions/sides is one of the most difficult things for us as humans to do, so Abbey, congratulations. I admire your candour and can't wait to see what is in store next in this series.

For me 80% of the time I am focused on satiation only and what satiates me does change throughout the month. The other 20% of the time *(about 4 meals a week) I am in a social situation in which eating is an accessory to the social interaction rather than the focus. So I eat what I want from what's available and focus on the people more than the food (both in selection and enjoyment). And this has really helped me to detatch my emotions from food. It has saved me from the endless cycle of comfort eating and dieting. *edit

This conversation right here! This level of nuance is so so needed in the discussion. Please share more on this topic!!

Yes! This is how I feel and the dietitian I want to be, especially as I want to work in sports. I dislike how it seems to be the extreme one way or the other in the way many dietitians think you should practice. Definately going to share this video around 😄

I so appreciate your honesty and vulnerability in approaching this. It makes me trust you so much more than dietitians, nutritionists etc who come across as "having all the answers" when that seems totally impossible due to varying social circumstances, past experiences and trauma, and simple biology. I lost about 20 pounds, more or less unintentionally, following intuitive eating principles. Prior to that I had basically given up. I was (and still am) obese, struggled to do even basic household chores without huffing and puffing, let alone feeling confident enough to go out and do things with the people I love, and life was basically just miserable. I'm starting to feel like I can enjoy the simple things again, and I want more of it, and I so want to keep losing weight and chasing this fabulous feeling, but I can feel myself slipping into long-ingrained patterns of obsessing, restricting, etc. I am desperately looking for a way to "do both" and even though I still don't know exactly what that is, your compassion and insight here is so, so appreciated. Thank you.

I've been on the intuitive eating journey half haphazardly for about six months. I thought for sure I gained weight after Christmas and whatnot and terrified to go on the scale. Much to my surprise I lost a few pounds. All I've done is put food away after dinner rather than keeping it out and nibbling on it. Simple. Wow! I'm really enjoying your channel. What a breath of fresh air.

"Operating in the gray" is a fantastic perspective for approaching nutrition, weight loss, and long term emotional and physical wellbeing. In life, there is an infinite amount of gray space. I find that practitioners and leaders in any sphere of influence are not effective when they see things as black or white... almost every topic has nuance to be considered. Well done, Abbey!

This is one of the best videos I have ever been privileged to watch. Thank you, Abbey!

You have discovered what I have felt deep down for a long time. Intuitive eating has given me a sense of freedom, and made me release my self-condemnation. At the same time, some gentle structure helps people feel safe within the boundaries. And yes, some personalities can absolutely lose weight following diets. There's no way to refute that evidence. I'm watching you for more on weight loss while eating intuitively. Thanks!

I've struggled with emotional binge eating, bulimia, yo-yo dieting, etc. for most of my life, I am now significantly overweight and seeking sustainable change, and am working on my masters in Speech Language Pathology... Although our fields are a bit different, it is so helpful for me to hear from a fellow clinician committed to finding evidence-based methods of helping people. I am so comforted to have you reviewing the research and clinical opinions in your field and presenting them for me, just like I do with info in my own field! You are so thorough about presenting your own clinical opinions, current research, and keeping in mind that results will vary among individuals, even with controversial topics. Thank you for the work you are doing!

This makes so much sense. I am on Noom at the moment with an overarching goal to heal my relationships with my body and with food (and yes, absolutely, to lose the pandemic and menopause weight gain). I find the calorie counting and weigh ins to be helpful tools to learn to listen to my body as I make sound nutritional food choices for what I have to admit is the first time in my whole life of emotional eating and restrictive dieting. I supplement that program learning from you (and it must be said that Noom’s daily articles are informative and enlightening to me) and adding healthy ingredients and foods and recipes and movement and water drinking to my days for a foundational change and sustainable growth in my food choices. So glad I found you, Abbey, thank you for everything.

Thank you for this! As a nutritional science grad student in a HAES focused program it can be hard to form my own view points on health/nutrition. I definitely agree that nutrition isn't black and white and that we need to best support our clients wherever they are at.

I lost 100 pounds (really needed as I was an clinically diagnosed obese teenager) doing keto without knowing it was keto, someone prescribed me a meal plan, and I followed to the tea until I got into a healthy weight. I did however develop some dissordered eating behaviors so bad that they are the darkest moments of my life.Sadly in my country (Colombia) there are almost no centers where you can get help so I had to practically read books and get help online. I then fully embraced recovery, learned to trust my body and gave myself inconditional permision to eat. This took me years but I finally felt at peace and I could live the life I missed on before being so food focus. I now however do not eat all foods. Not because they are bad and not because I cant. I choose know to eat foods that help me stay in a healthy weight range and that are delicious and health promoting, it is a conscious choice and I make sure always to be fully aware of my body cues and I respond accordingly.

This is seriously THE best video I have watched in a very long time! I have been searching high and low for someone (anyone) to share information from this perspective. I spent a couple of years learning from a IE trained registered dietician whom I loved greatly but I found her approach (as is the case with so many IE / HAES practitioners) very aggressive. I felt so shamed for wanting to lose weight. Do you coach people individually or have groups of any sort? You are the first person I've ever found to share this perspective and it has been so validating and reassuring to hear you share your thoughts. I want to embrace the principles of EI while I work towards finding my happy weight and I need the support of a professional who isn't going to be aggressive and harsh because they believe weight loss is the devil's work.

As a health care professional, i agree with you Abbey; our duty is to present all the evidence based practice data without bias, so the patient can make an informed decision. Self-determination is an important principle to allow the person to achieve [of course there are scenarios that require more supervision and guidance due to for instance mental illness]. Love your channel and your mind Abbey! Love from Texas!

You remind me of my bariatric dietician. While we obviously lost weight after surgery, her goal was our long term health, her patients are obese which kills. It couldn't be a short term thing for us bariatric patients either, because we can't undo our surgery. Still, I see other bariatric patients who think they have to stick perfectly to the bariatric diet for the rest of their lives, but they haven't worked on what my dietician calls "head hunger". In the short term it is easy, because the surgery is causing so much restriction, but it gets more difficult the more "normal" we are able to eat years out. We also had to accept that we may still be overweight, we may not end up skinny, but to focus on how much our health has improved, and sustaining it. I am so grateful that I have a team with a dietician and a psychologist who helped me sort out not only what I eat, but my relationship with food, with the goal of long term health. The weight loss and sustaining it has definitely been a plus, and of course weight loss has also led to better health and control of my chronic illnesses.

I agree so much with making small, sustainable changes. A year ago I came to the realization that I was out of control with sweets. I was eating the donut in the break room at work, then buying a family size bag of candy the next day and eating it until it was gone (over the course of a couple days), and having something the next day and the next day and so on. I just decided an arbitrary rule: two servings of sweets a week. It's not that I couldn't have any sweet I wanted or say yes to that break room donut. I just couldn't say yes to them all. A year later, I've lost 38 lbs...over 20% of my starting weight (from bordering on an obese BMI just unto the "normal" range). Yes, that choice did snowball a bit and I've started to cook most of my meals at home and I try to make sure my diet has a lot of nutritious foods, but I don't eat any "diet" food and absolutely nothing is off limits. I don't know if I'll be this weight for the rest of my life, but I truly feel like there is no old way of eating to go back to. This is just normal now and completely satisfying. Oh, and I do try to move 60 minutes a day (walking, cleaning, gardening, etc.).

I really love that you are so nuanced in your approach to weight loss. Thanks for addressing this topic - it's one that's been on my mind lately, after learning about HAES & Body Positivity last year - and really loving it! - and then landing in January in the new year being bombarded by commercials for weight loss that use imagery and communication tactics that are just really body shaming. So thank you for addressing the grey area. You did a good job of it👍

Thank you for this video. It was very refreshing. I'm so happy you've allowed yourself the opportunity to grow along with your clients and subscribers. I think that's wonderful. I just recently got sober (Aug 30th was my last drink) and am overwhelmed with the information out there on loving yourself while still pursuing weight loss. I'm also 8 months post partum so Im trying to compassionately lose the excess baby weight. I have a love for fitness (HIIT & weight training) and prior to sobriety I didn't see a problem with the amount of fitness I would pack into my week (6-7 days of 45-60 minute intense training) and now that I'm sober I'm really trying to cut back based on what my body is telling me (I'm so tired!) without the guilt. Anyways, in my search for guidance around eating freely without restriction but also pursuing weight loss your video was the first I clicked on and I'm really glad I did, I also believe God puts people and resources in your path that he knows will serve you and this was really really needed. I had a good cry while listening. Thank you Abbey. New subscriber here 🙋🏻‍♀️

Thank you; a thousand thankyous. I'm recovering form binge eating disorder & his intuitive eating/HAES gig can get kinda lonely between psychology sessions. You provide more useful perspectives than the crappy dietician I sacked a month ago. I have type 2 diabetes & am hungry a lot & sill binge sometimes but you reminded me I can add nutritious food to help!! These clips keep me going are such a fabulous addition to my tool kit.

Growing older and the hormonal shift has really changed the happy weight mindset. I have had to reel in and look hard at the number I wanted to attain, and truly address what my body needs physically and mentally. Adding protein was the game changer for me. Thanks for all your really helpful videos!

OMG! I just absolutely love this video! For years I "dieted", and everything you said was true. In the past year I've been eating for my health with the goal of losing weight due to probable hereditary heart problems. It's been slow, but, I've lost weight, I'm eating more, my "bad" knees feel better, etc. And I'm so glad I found your videos!

So many pearls in this video. Pursue health with kindness and compassion. Add protein, healthy fats and fiber that help with satiety, rather than take away. I can really feel your concern Abbey!

I have really appreciated your outlook the past few months. I feel it has helped me change my relationship with food and to treat my body kindly. I am in the military and am required to be within a certain height/weight standard and I don’t feel like that numerical value is that unattainable however I am definitely over that value. But with your recommendations and videos I’m 2 lbs away from that number without any extreme food swaps or timing or whatever junk I was subscribed to before!! You’ve helped me learn how to listen to my body and love myself more. You’re learning and growing just like any other human. Keep doing what you’re doing!!! You’re helping so many of us ☺️

you remind me of an older Caroline Forbes from the Vampire Diaries !! Love this video too x

I love this! I really respect you and your ability to admit and accept the “gray” areas. It seems like it’s the most rational train of thought.

Hi Abbey! I can imagine how hard it may have been to post this video, and majority of what you are saying sounds exactly like the health at every size book! The author talks about set point and how she believes that everyone is capable of finding a body they can be happy in, even though that may be different from their old expectations and what society deems ‘perfect’ I just found out that I have been accepted into university and I am on a long journey to hopefully become a dietician. ( you have inspired me immensely) I think a great common goal in this profession is helping clients find a place where they can feel as comfortable as possible. Comfortable with where their body lands, comfortable with the amount of food they are eating, finding a way to move that feels comfortable and feeling mentally comfortable about all aspects of their health. We want equality for many things so shouldn’t that mean helping everyone in any way we can without judging them! Love your work Abbey!

Hey Abbey! This video might be a “rant” for you but it gives us a glimpse of what’s on your mind, for that i thank you for sharing. While i totally don’t get what people talk about eating intuitively and against intentional weight loss even when their life might need that weight loss, i sort of seeing & understanding what you’re getting at. This sort of video needs to be made in order for the rest of us who live under a rock to know what on earth you’re getting at. I highly appreciate you’re sharing your thoughts & logic.

I really appreciate your journey and your honesty. Your grey has been similar for my grey recently. As a bigger body I’ve moved from HAES to making choices that honor my body or hunger while making small changes. The goal is now how my body feels versus how my body sizes. Also saying we should take what serves us and leave behind what doesn’t is exactly what I’ve come to. Thank you - for the compassion and heart.