Recently I have been feeling a lot of shame around my business not being “bigger” than what it is. I often find myself saying, you’ve been doing this for 14 years; you should be farther along than you are.
It’s definitely not the nicest thing to say to myself because what I’ve also accomplished in these 14 years is extraordinary, but harsh words like, “Do you know what you’re doing?” or “Are you missing something?” would come right up.
Whether I was scrolling on social media, where it’s easy to get triggered around “success,” or just sitting with myself.
So, I’ve been looking into why I’ve been saying not-so-kind things to myself around my business.
And a mindset hack like telling myself to speak kinder or affirm, “I am great at what I do, and I will keep expanding,” isn’t going to cut it.
Especially because I believe this is coming up for me for a deeper reason.
What’s happening is my subconscious is trying to tell me something, and its goal, by saying not so positive things, is to try to keep me safe from pain that I’ve experienced in the past or even pain that I’ve taken on from my parents (this was passed down from them unknowingly).
I know resisting this voice is not the answer.
I share what I did to dig deeper into this voice in this week’s video.
I share what’s been a part of my money story that’s been holding me back.
This includes a conversation I had with my mom (which I share in the video) which helped me really come to a place of a lot of self-compassion.