Get knocked up by the bad boy, become a single mother, and then marry the nice guy.

Evolution. Natural selection. That's why.

Move on. He’s broke. That’s why he’s not asking you out on a date.

I don't get why this relationship coach is trying to say that it's the woman's past insecurities and her "neediness" is the issue here. It's not at all ! Stop digging ! Everyone wants to be a priority and if a man wants a relationship with a woman then it doesn't matter whether he has kids or not he has to prioritise his woman as she needs to get something out of the deal as well otherwise he better be on his own and wait until the kids grow up or get back with their baby mama and all the drama! But guess what men with kids want single women and why do you think that is?! Selfishness at it's best!

NO IM GOOD . DID THAT IN THE PAST NEVER AGAIN.

Totally agree about manifestation! When you don't meet yourself where you're at, including your pain, it's basically bypassing what would love to be seen. I'm hearing more and more people talk about this, and it makes me really happy to question the manifestation narrative.

Well he doesn’t wanna see her obviously he has a life

He maybe doesn’t wanna see her she’s outta town right she’s not there n waiting on him or vice versa . Ppl aren’t kind readers

Women ☕☕☕

Just don't do it. End of conversation.

❤

Why not just be upfront & tell her he’s not interested? Although this was a blessing in disguise, it’s annoying & frustrating when people do things like what he did.

Single parents should date single parents… Easy!!! And stop having some offensive comments like single parents are a curse!!!

I learnt that we take our childhood experiences into all our adult relationships

I want to let this love in but after 6 years I've gotten no communication this is not love she showed me narcissistic behaviors I won't entertain this crap all I ever did was love her but she doesn't even care. I don't even know wear she lives she doesn't care.... I've sean that now I've had enough time she doesn't have to say a word

Even if the ex wife/BM gives no shit about you being the new girlfriend… that man has trauma that he will never be able to let go of. He will never see YOU. he will see HER.

Simple , childfree people date each other , and single parents date each other .

Dating a man with kids can be a touchy situation...especially when he has multiple kids with multiple women that he wasn't serious about. When it comes to dating men with children...TREAD LIGHTLY because depending on that past relationship, there is still a level of volatility between both parties and in some cases both parties AND the child.

I feel so guilty, he was a really nice guy and he took the rejection well. But I still feel so so guilty

The main issue is not working boundaries from the get go. Simple as that. Priority is not really a thing. Everybody is priority just at different times.

If you bring peace into a man’s life and respect his boundaries also having accountability for yourself he will cherish you whether he is a single dad or not. Women want to be the priority in a man’s life and once he puts her on a pedestal she will treat him like a fan.

Super enlightening as always :) It occurred to me that my shame around slowness in my business goes directly to my need to qualify and what is maybe my assumption that i will never really qualify. For anything or to be anything. extreme competitiveness seems to go back to my mom and through to my son (although he is very confident and I'm really happy about that). Anyway, thanks for this bit of help and honestly, I wish I could afford you :)

Thank you for the video. I'm so tired of those modern dating advices.

So exciting! Brava 🙂!!

After listening to the first part of her first paragraph, I think what she wants is not to date a man with children.

The interviewer is obviously not clear on the lived experience of a built family and being a third party. The unlimited access that the ex wives/baby mother has to the man and his inability to set boundaries is emotional abuse. The children and the mother will ALWAYS come first. Never believe what he says. Trust his actions. If the ex takes priority leave immediately. It is never a good idea to date someone with kids. The interviewer is completely incompetent. You frantically increase your risk for being taken for granted when you date a man with children. You deserve better Queen. Run 😊

I am a parent and what you said about forgetting how we felt as children when we were not treated kindly, lovingly or with patience was a bomb! Thanks for that deep insight.

My boyfriend is a man who has never been married and doesn’t have kids. I have two kids. He’s amazing and our relationship is very healthy

❤🧡❤

👍

No. Never again.

smh - never be a nice guy - - woman.. ?

This is so good. The 80% of communication being non-verbal sounds right to me from a non-verbal comm. class I took in college back in the day. What you are saying about presence and openness puts something one of my spiritual teachers says in a new light; he says: "An open heart is the best protection." By what you are sharing i can see how. I totally relate to the example of putting trust in the other person but not being totally present and real with him, by doing things like calling out his defensiveness and asking questions from curiosity - the last man i was involved with said all the right things, but I felt something was off when actions didn't line up; I totally opened my heart to him and trusted him but, like you said, when things got hard or i really wanted to share about my joys or what i was working through, he'd shut down, or i'd feel shut down by him, or he'd get overwhelmed and say I was talking too much, or i'd generally feel not seen or like i was being presenced by him. Eventually, because I was not trusting my own intuition about this feeling off, I started to get mad and resentful and reactive as my abandonment stuff would come up about him 'not being there", like my mother, and I didn't understand why he'd be acting that way when his words said another. I'd feel hurt and go into self-protection because he wasn't truly there for me, and wouldn't want to discuss it, and then he'd do the same (feel hurt and go into self-protection) and it would spiral. it helps to write it out and see what was going on. It seems like it was really about me not trusting myself. and then i felt mad at myself for believing him all along. Once a situation like this is recognized, how do you suggest moving out of the dynamic and back into self-trust? it has honestly taken me much longer than I would have liked to move past this. I still feel love for him and also like it's best for me to not talk with him at all anymore, in any way, until i can fully move past any remaining hurt still in me about how he presented himself one way and then showed something else that was very different after my heart really opened to loving him. We have had "resolution" convos where i've been vulnerable, but at this point i honestly don't trust him to be honest with me, or himself, so the convos now feel pointless.

You're a wise woman, concise too. Thank you.

The chasing game is a bit anxiety producing for me. Like, do you want to try and stay together forever or nah?! 😅

✔️ "promosm"

Once the man you really want becomes aware you’re dating other men. He’s either gonna check out completely or put you in the fun only box. Not a good idea ladies.

What about people who don't seem to want hard or borderline hard/curious conversations and say it's too much talking or processing? I was in the not saying anything category regarding uncomfortable conversations, until I started working with you. My vulnerable self-expression is getting so much better now.

no.

Respectfully, …she already had the answer.

This is soooo on point!!!❤

Such an important topic and your approach is very compassionate. The term is overused these days, and I appreciate this video so much.

This is beautiful thank you! I have borderline personality disorder and have been working on all of this ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Love this Kavita! It was hurtful when I'd talk to my mom from the other room and she'd yell back, "Oh Nicole, are you talking just to hear yourself talk again." I never felt she really wanted to listen to or be present with me. Or when my older step brothers would visit and she'd let them wrestle me on the ground when i was yelling for them to stop and that I couldn't breath. Her and my step-dad would also say "jokes" at my expense, which were really making fun of me, and then all laugh.

This was like a free therapy session. Lol, thank you for the good conversation.

HI Kavita! I haven't forgotten about our interview time, and wanted to say I am so happy to see you on here talking about this ~ it could not have come at a better time for me. Basically, this has been my deep work and biggest desire since I did Soul Level Love with you over a year ago. The conversations with my parents were getting better and easier for me while in your course, and then something switched with them where they both started growing more distant and defensive. I am not exaggerating when I say it's been a better part of a whole year where they refuse to speak to me and believe i am trying to "divide and conquer" them - they aren't together and my dad spoke badly of my mom for as long as i can remember, but now they are suddenly buddies and i feel like they talk negatively about me behind my back (yes i told them this). I have reached out countless times practicing my vulnerablity, explaining i'm not blaming and where i'm coming from, only to feel like it falls on deaf ears, Neither of them seem to want a connection with me. I've said it all and tried every angle. I'm getting really good at not managing and saying exactly what i mean and feel. i feel orphaned and like i don't matter. i feel despair and it's kept me up at night for months. i've told them all of this. i told my mom i won't give up on us and i love her and she replies, "No you don't (love me)" and "Well I've given up on you". Ouch. And I leave my dad phone msgs. because he refuses to answer. They seem to feel threatened by this "new me" who has a voice and feelings. I feel so hurt and mad at this point that i honestly want to tell them both to go eff themselves. Seriously! At this point I feel like i'm begging with my dad. I called my mom a few weeks ago and felt the most confident and coming from myself than ever before. If anything, i am grateful how all of this space has given me more time to work on myself and practice greater vulnerability, less managing (protecting) and practice coming from feeling at home in myself with those close to me. Mom hung up on me (typical behavior for her - pretty sure she has borderline personality disorder, fyi) when i spoke my Truth with Love, and now we're back to weeks and months going by with no reaching out from her. Help! i apologize for the "heavy" first comment, but this is the truth of where i'm at and I could use some direction so it doesn't keep going on like this and how I can maintain my self-respect in the process. I feel like I need to let them know building a new and healthier kind of relationship and closeness is a 2-way street and I'm not feeling their reciprocity. I told my dad (on his answering machine) it feels like I am chasing him for a relationship and that doesn't feel good, so I guess i'm gonna stop calling and the ball is now in his court. I just want to feel their love for me, like you talk about, and to feel love - not anger - for them. Thank you for any suggestions and for this amazing work you do. It means the world to me. Blessings <3

I have one friend who’s been with her guy for years now. She and him have two kiddos together. He has 3 kids from someone else one of them in heaven. She told me her guy has never made her feel like she’s second. He has ALWAYS put her first right there with his kids!

Never, she's single for a reason. She has no respect for men. Never date a woman with children.

This happens to me always with great quality men. Crappy guys make plans with me pff