If Marriage Is a Contract, There Should Be a Better Warranty - Wanda Sykes
Рет қаралды 286,473
5 жыл бұрынWanda Sykes rails against marriage vows and wonders if her friends with kids are lying about how happy they are.
About Comedy Central Presents:
These half-hour specials showcased some of the best up-and-coming comedians of the moment. The show was a pivotal stepping stone for many of today's stand-up stars, including Dave Chappelle, Patton Oswalt, Amy Schumer, Jim Gaffigan, Kevin Hart, Zach Galifianakis, Dane Cook, Bill Burr, Wanda Sykes and Maria Bamford.
Subscribe to Comedy Central Stand-Up: / @standup
Watch more Comedy Central Stand-Up: / standup
Follow Comedy Central Stand-Up:
Twitter: / standup
Facebook: / standup
Instagram: / ccstandup
Watch full Comedy Central stand-up specials: www.cc.com/topic/stand-up
#StandUp .
Comedy Central Stand-Up: Anti-Bias Statement: www.cc.com/info/k32ti7/ccsu-a...
@ckdesert 5 жыл бұрын
"Drinking liquor and playing nintendo"....I'm DEAD!
@jakelibo8721 4 жыл бұрын
The joy of being an aunt or uncle lol.
@CanItAlready 5 жыл бұрын
"Bobby, smile and show them Jamaica." LOL
@blackbutterfly6872 5 жыл бұрын
Uuuggg my kid need glasses show them Jamaica babygirl😟
@Thedownwardmineon 5 жыл бұрын
"we right on the beach, look at that" LMAO
@gloriabrown7466 4 жыл бұрын
Lmao
@armandovarela767 2 жыл бұрын
😭😂
@vsaucenou323 5 жыл бұрын
“Yo husband starts acting up, you cant take him back to his mama’s house!” -neil degrasse tyson’s mom
@agonleed3841 5 жыл бұрын
He's broke. One day, he just stopped working It was another show I heard her say that in. Loved that part
@vsaucenou323 5 жыл бұрын
Agon Leed I agree, it was *HILARIOUS*
@sonyap8253 5 жыл бұрын
He was wrong, I shot him, ya move on 🤣
@kimgunnings-wright6201 5 жыл бұрын
If only......😶 . Jk..jk😂
@samiyakoub7513 5 жыл бұрын
On ya Sonya 😂
@Thedownwardmineon 5 жыл бұрын
hysterical LMAO
@daniel51020 3 жыл бұрын
LOL! So brilliant, so funny.
@coachtouden 5 жыл бұрын
I love her! "Bobby, smile and show them Jamaica " 😂😂😂
@beautyintheskies 5 жыл бұрын
I am literately crying. Also wanda’s makeup is on point here.
@GreenOrchid9 5 жыл бұрын
Wanda Sykes to host the next Oscars😆👏
@jv-lk7bc 5 жыл бұрын
White House Press Corps Dinner
@SarahLizDoan 5 жыл бұрын
“Your husband start acting up, you can’t take him back to his mamas house”....or vice versa....that’s hysterical!!’
@spoonface9698 5 жыл бұрын
Hilarious from day one. They need to do a biography on Wanda Sykes. She has a lot of wisdom and foresight
@lucyjames8818 4 жыл бұрын
I love this woman. I love all the words she says. I'm Asian but I love black people so much. They represent freedom and happiness.
@VickiBee 5 жыл бұрын
"He was wrong, I shot him, you move on." LMFAO
@TheTruthDragonNJ09 5 жыл бұрын
I remember watching this back in the 90s!!!
@aniaamz3602 5 жыл бұрын
Bobby smile and show them Jamaica 😂😂😂😂
@antoinettegross5074 5 жыл бұрын
He was wrong I shot him move on🤣🤣🤣🤣
@vividesigns 5 жыл бұрын
Wanda Sykes is one of the best comedians. Very relatable comedy.
@eerereps 4 жыл бұрын
3:45 Bobby smile and show them Jamaica 🤣
@loriwise2512 5 жыл бұрын
He was wrong i shot him we move on .....😅😂
@HeidiSvenson 5 жыл бұрын
She is the BEST, bar none, male or female.
@msontopoftheworld 5 жыл бұрын
"...they're not my kids!!" Damn straight 😃
@Judy-um6yn 5 жыл бұрын
Wanda is non stop funny! 😂
@sawyerramos3113 5 жыл бұрын
soooooooooooo true, when my nieces and nephews come over, do whatever you want. all I gotta do is keep you alive. They tell me a problem they are having, i transfer them to their mother, i tell them oh no baby not today, you put that on hold till you go home and talk to your mom about it, lets just have a good time now. U see, I aint trying to cure cancer.
@EJofLA 3 жыл бұрын
Wanda is golden. Doesn't get better than that! Thanks.
@trillxfizzy 4 жыл бұрын
She's such a legend 😂
@j.f.5540 5 жыл бұрын
So hilarious. I love wanda shes my stress reliever and cure for depression i may say
@Boobalopbop 7 ай бұрын
I remember when I first heard this joke at the Comedy Cellar in NYC, I was about 21 and single. Right now I am 44 and seriously OVER my husband, and this bit was always funny, but hits different right now 🤣🤣🤣. Literally what’s happening right now. “he’s just laying around making a funny noise”. Wanda, your humor is timeless, factual and hilarious.
@DrACCook 5 жыл бұрын
Wanda Sykes, Ciara and Pam Grier all look like they can be related...pretty
@KaneneProductions 5 жыл бұрын
I see it.
@ladyd1471 5 жыл бұрын
Yep
@Michelle-pn9xt 5 жыл бұрын
Ciara???? Not.
@randomthoughtswithericg9438 5 жыл бұрын
Old Ciara yeah i see it
@aja1108 4 жыл бұрын
I always thought agree could be ciaras mom
@liliacollins8811 5 жыл бұрын
She’s so underrated!
@moda-vi 5 жыл бұрын
You should be able to rent your spouse on a year to year basis.
@TheRazorTongue 5 жыл бұрын
That's what the Ferengi do.
@alliphil1 5 жыл бұрын
Yeup! I’m in! 😀
@lindabuck2777 5 жыл бұрын
Ooo girl the possibilities are endless! Woohoo imagine a menu.... I’ll take him for daddy of the week...now you got to go coz my ‘weekend’ guy is comin over... umm need a tuxedo guy going to the theatre let’s see....HEY WHATS GOOD FOR THE GOOSE...fuck it who cares...IM THE GANDER AND ITS MY TURN....lol
@blacklotus6947 5 жыл бұрын
In Wicca I forget in which sabbat but there's a trial marriage during that sabbat at the end you decide if you want to stay married or not
@blacklotus6947 5 жыл бұрын
kzfaq.info/get/bejne/iLKFpcqS3r-8hY0.html it's explained hear as is all the sabbats and esabats
@buffybell3409 5 жыл бұрын
My folks were together 37 years when he passed. It’d be 49 years this year. They were best friends and also into each other. That’s the secret.
@SarahLizDoan 5 жыл бұрын
Buffy Bell that’s AWESOME and so inspiring!
@SynterraSteen 3 жыл бұрын
Awwwwww
@cecillec2331 4 жыл бұрын
I love Wanda. She is so funny.
@matthewcarter1973 5 жыл бұрын
She so beautiful
@thaleis 4 жыл бұрын
Funny afterward to see this after all she said about her Herero first marriage. You can see how her point about commitment is different now she is happily married with her wife.
@countgreg95 5 жыл бұрын
The deeper understanding you get when you realize part of her unhappiness was living a lie because she was/is lesbian but I dont think she was out at the time of this stand-up.
@Ramonerdna 5 жыл бұрын
Damn Auntie Wanda sounds like the best
@Michelle-pn9xt 5 жыл бұрын
Yeah, auntie Ramonerdna...
@adolphesax1982 3 жыл бұрын
Well, you have two kids now, Wanda! But I'm sure they're worth it ❤️
@Oridginale24 4 жыл бұрын
When people say “I do,” what they really mean is “I’ll try on my own terms.”
@becausehetyrell 5 жыл бұрын
I love Wanda Sykes. I love her even more because she from my home state #represent Virginia
@TM2U 4 жыл бұрын
Great ! Love Wanda!
@douglasgabriel5228 11 ай бұрын
2:10 the best part
@kuckycharm28 5 жыл бұрын
fast forward- we know why they never had kids
@ColoringKaria 5 жыл бұрын
Maria Nunga 😂🤣 I know! I would hate to be Wanda’s exhusband watching this.
@eveenterprises7913 5 жыл бұрын
Her hair is beautiful!!
@TCt83067695 5 жыл бұрын
lol i love the retro hair
@AubreyJM 5 жыл бұрын
She's great 😆
@catherinecoman2508 5 жыл бұрын
I love Wanda Sykes!!!!❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️😎😎
@mmb1572 4 жыл бұрын
Wanda is so pretty, and the funniest comic out there
@djb903 5 жыл бұрын
Love that old school comedy Central logo!
@AngelicFireIce 4 жыл бұрын
My Dad was wrong, my Mom ran him over, he lived, they got over it.
@cornellwaters9089 5 жыл бұрын
Thank You 🎲
@michaelmiller1215 5 жыл бұрын
I didn’t know she was married before..
@user-wz5ir9jl8q 4 жыл бұрын
For whole seven years!
@Genkuro 5 жыл бұрын
It's no longer "till death do us part." It's "as long as it's convenient or you don't beat the crap out of me."
@caliden3785 5 жыл бұрын
Wanda is brillant.....
@lollybones 5 жыл бұрын
Truth!!
@angieblairedmello 5 жыл бұрын
Fuckkk laughed so harddd lol love her !!
@jessicaghafoor6244 5 жыл бұрын
My husbands family and us live together so I go to his family when he does something bad lol I let them fix him
@reneekerner8404 3 жыл бұрын
Love her....
@brendarobinson909 5 жыл бұрын
Wanda is Funny 😃 Lol
@alexlucas2420 4 жыл бұрын
She's amazing 😂😂😂
@RiqochetRoseTarot 5 жыл бұрын
She's hilarious lol
@vnonkwinn6233 2 жыл бұрын
That's a very nice look for Wanda
@elleshaw9837 5 жыл бұрын
🤣🤣🤣
@dayko1329 5 жыл бұрын
Three metaphors about the same thing. That’s fucking smart. He’s broke... he just stopped working.... just lays there and makes noises. Really good joke
@roberttacorbett5795 4 жыл бұрын
Wanda, please come to the Peace Center in Greenville, S.C.!
@paulcousino8773 5 жыл бұрын
Divorce can be your best friend!!!
@KH-tx6lg 4 жыл бұрын
Wow can I give this thousands of 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍
@faithallen4040 5 жыл бұрын
She's always been funny...she was married to a guy who was her manager at this time. Didn't last...
@user-wz5ir9jl8q 4 жыл бұрын
On the contrary: it lasted way too long, whole seven years!
@lorettaknoelk3475 5 жыл бұрын
I like that hair!!
@KaneneProductions 5 жыл бұрын
Healthy and bouncy.
@sharpgirlsSerious 5 жыл бұрын
I love her hair , she looks so much better with it styled like that
@moimeself1088 2 жыл бұрын
So you prefer some funky wig over her naturally curly hair? Interesting.
@Boobalopbop 7 ай бұрын
@@moimeself1088That’s her real hair… This was the late 90s or early 2000s. Everyone wore their hair like this then. Myself included. It’s her real hair but with a relaxer.
@medusagorgon8432 5 жыл бұрын
Moses joke was hilarious! That audience was lame. :/
@timiw503 3 жыл бұрын
🤣😂😂
@ADDAuntDawnDisorder 5 жыл бұрын
She looks very pretty in this piece!
@Boobalopbop 7 ай бұрын
This was before she “came out” and still wanted to attract men, lol
@mikearena9077 Жыл бұрын
She looks good with that hair
@YogiliciousP 5 жыл бұрын
Wanda Sykes, before Esther, was a hottie! Amazing comedian with or without Esther.
@pamedwards871 5 жыл бұрын
I don't pay the dental bills
@pameladavis2268 5 жыл бұрын
OMG Wanda Sykes back in the day! She looks 20, rockin a white girl hairdo, I barely recognized her!
@assassinmir222 4 жыл бұрын
I want her as an aunt.
5 жыл бұрын
Actually, I DID bring my ex back to his mama’s house. He WAS broken. Unemployed. And a drug addict. Oh and a lying cheating abusive pos. So I took him back to live in his mommy’s basement where Id found him- WHERE HE BELONGS!!!!!
@utilitygirl9515 5 жыл бұрын
Lol
@tennisindia0001 4 жыл бұрын
Yay You! 🙌😎
@straieraswift5785 5 жыл бұрын
He broke and laying around making a funny sound. You can't return him too his mama
@usa4287 5 жыл бұрын
Didn't watch this but, yes, the dowry was the insurance for the wife.
@Xtheearthchildx 5 жыл бұрын
He's broke, god. Hilarious.
@maryrosekent8223 5 жыл бұрын
It’s too weird watching Wanda talk about being married to a man. She might be covering for herself, but it’s still too weird.
@marlajean1715 5 жыл бұрын
Agreed
@sheldonscott4037 5 жыл бұрын
She was married to a man. Emphasis on was.
@maryrosekent8223 5 жыл бұрын
Sheldon Scott It’s not an unknown situation and serves to point out how much our lives have improved.
@davidhardwick3816 5 жыл бұрын
Doesn't matter either way. You gotta know same-sex marriages go through at least a version of the same thing.
@Wwillow1992 2 ай бұрын
My grandmother shot her second husbands eye out... married for a extra 40 years lmao So the guy shot killed me here. Also backstory is basically he was teaching her how to shoot. He got a glass eye. idk much more lol
@buffybell3409 5 жыл бұрын
The hell you can’t take him back to his Mommas house! In fact you should! You know every man with issues got a mom that made him that way. Or knows how to tune him up.
@blackbutterfly6872 5 жыл бұрын
Mannnnn I STILL want to tell my ex-mother in law off. You always would hear women come with baggage. Nobody told me men come with not only more baggage but effed up baggage!!
@fayepatrice1672 5 жыл бұрын
Rosa Johnson they sure do. I learned that the hard way 😓
@betteurbain7911 5 жыл бұрын
Get a refund! Especially from those mothers who feel as if you took their son from them.
@loriwise2512 5 жыл бұрын
Their worth it lmao yeah right...liars..
@michellecardoso5534 5 жыл бұрын
Marriage was, is and always be a covenant not a contract!
@JustTheTruth-Please 5 жыл бұрын
It is a legal document that you get approved for from the state you live in. It is literally a legal contract.
@p.siloveyou7266 2 жыл бұрын
She looks stunning.younger and slimmer😋😋
@cazprescott9 5 жыл бұрын
25 years later...
@taste_the_rainbow312 4 жыл бұрын
Woah she looks different from now
@estellaedwards7120 4 жыл бұрын
She looks so different
@GreenOrchid9 5 жыл бұрын
She was married to a guy then...nientendo is a clue🐴
@joannboyd8855 5 жыл бұрын
He just road by that's not good
@Tia-Marie 5 жыл бұрын
When I was enlisted, I ended up with two divorces cause there ain't no go damn warrantee against your spouse keeping their dick to themselves or that they would clean the house while you're deployed to the sandbox. I think he just assumed I'd end up kicking the bucket out there in some humorously biblical way.
@TheRazorTongue 5 жыл бұрын
Ouch.
@JohnDoe-kj6wp 5 жыл бұрын
If you expected me to clean the house and not fuck while you are away playing solder you have another thing coming lol.
@littlebird3167 5 жыл бұрын
That's why I won't get married. You never really know what you're getting until you've already signed the deal. And like she said, the return policy sucks. Pass.
@agonleed3841 5 жыл бұрын
Yea. I don't even know why people tried that marriage shit while enlisted. I went through my whole teen years and enlisted years free as fuck. Now married with 2 and 1 on the way and zero regrets....still dont trust the bitch, but I've had my fun and I also didnt need to worry about anyone when I was getting ambusjed..or saving dumb ass staff Sergeants who thought getting a purple heart was the goal
@barbararichardson2747 5 жыл бұрын
Married in my twenties; mistook lust for love. Usually by the time people learn the true meaning of love they've had it and thrown it away.
@humanearthling4661 5 жыл бұрын
You want cynicism? ok...marriage is all about ownership of body parts and bank accounts and only fools take a verbal "contract" seriously.
@delfonteknight3859 5 жыл бұрын
Being young is the most beautiful period for most people.She was nice looking & funny. Having kids is beautiful,tirring & dangerous.Kids own their parents.I have no kids,it is painful not 2 have kids.
@jnicole501 5 жыл бұрын
Before she was gay? She looks cool though and funny too
@ebbyoma7008 5 жыл бұрын
pretty sure she was always gay...
@JungleYT 5 жыл бұрын
Would be nice if you at least gave the *year* that these came out... When she was still 1/2 way cute
@moimeself1088 5 жыл бұрын
She looks exactly the same. What's your issue?
@JungleYT 5 жыл бұрын
@@moimeself1088 Back then, I would have let her sit on my Face... Today, not so much
@moimeself1088 5 жыл бұрын
@@JungleYT what a catch. I'm sure she feels the loss. 🙄
@zaharaali7906 5 жыл бұрын
JungleYT 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️😂😂😂😂😂
@ailanieva6895 5 жыл бұрын
She is still beautiful and not only is she hilarious she is also a very intelligent woman with a funny great personality and in my eyes that makes her even more beautiful
@garciatalk1090 5 жыл бұрын
"FIrst"
@loriwise2512 5 жыл бұрын
Laying around making a funny noise ..no shit
@allbricc4dathicc 5 жыл бұрын
how would this set go if a male was performing...
@amongstthepigeons1020 5 жыл бұрын
rwpmp that’s right men have never in the history of the world complained about being married to a woman
@betteurbain7911 5 жыл бұрын
Not well because men have and have had the money and power in society which prevented women from being able to divorce them.
@JustTheTruth-Please 5 жыл бұрын
Chris Rock.
@allbricc4dathicc 5 жыл бұрын
@@JustTheTruth-Please the bit of only wemon dogs and children receiving un conditional love
@AnthonySmith-tz3kh 5 жыл бұрын
Last time a man gave a woman a contract she doomed humanity...
@user-ld9hs1mb1u 5 жыл бұрын
Anthony Smith - Thankfully that’s BS. ✊🏿✊🏽✊🏻
@JohnDoe-kj6wp 5 жыл бұрын
Then we really fucked up by letting them vote.
@CanItAlready 5 жыл бұрын
Anthony Smith so you believe in fairy tales.
@pylchott9864 5 жыл бұрын
True dat!
@michellehubbard8865 4 жыл бұрын
You believe in fairytales. Bless your heart.
@sdlock83 3 жыл бұрын
Wanda Sykes was gorgeous before she "came out."
@ahngele28 5 жыл бұрын
She wasn't funny (to me) then, and she's not funny (to me) now.
Jimmy Kimmel Live
Рет қаралды 542 М.
超人夫妇
Рет қаралды 45 МЛН
Comedy Central Stand-Up
Рет қаралды 1,1 МЛН
Comedy Central Deutschland
Рет қаралды 1,3 МЛН