When was the last time you felt that you didn't hold yourself accountable? What were the repercussions of not taking ownership?

Dr. Shefali, “it’s not about one man, it’s about the patriarchal system.” Tom, “I don’t agree with that. My wife was subconsciously taught to be a housewife” …

Dr. Shefali speaks so much wisdom. She is at a higher level of consciousness, because she has found love for herself, in the most healthy sense, and is speaking truth. It's hard to comprehend that level of knowledge and peace if you are not there.

Mental illnesses are influenced by nutrition, but their real cause is what she says : deep disconnection from our real self, which origins in trauma, as Gabor Maté explains so masterfully!

I really recommend her book... finished it yesterday it's really revealing you THE TRUTH. This woman is a force of nature... love her. Thank you Dr Shefali for reminding me what I already knew in my gut ❤❤❤

I can see this beautiful soul is still in her journey, still solving inner conflicts and contradictions that come from life experiences, unique for all of us but so much alike. She tells you what to do based on her experiences and maybe she is not even living all of what she says, don’t stress yourself on radically choosing a way or the other, remember to be a student not a follower. Listen to what serves you and decide/continue your own journey. Don’t get stuck in this, you do not need it, listen to your own inner voice, keep growing, keep searching. And do not forget that as much as all these information serves us, and I truly appreciate it, some people make a lot of money out of this. And we might think they are so smart, they are awake, believe me they have their struggles and contradictions. Believe in you, go on your own journey, make your own conclusions, decide how you see life and if you see it differently know that it is ok.

Nice to see a woman on Impact Theory. Very scarce experience in general. That's not a critique to the program but just the reflection of the culture we are living in. You can agree or disagree with their viewpoints but it's good to have these topics being discussed. Great!!!

I'm in love with this woman! Finally someone that has eyes wide open and sees the world as it is! So humbling listening to her. And not to mention she is gorgeous!

Such an extraordinary and amazing woman. Love the message she is talking about, the female world should know about this woman💞

I love your kindness, graciousness and empathy for each guest you show. That's a true gift that i hope to continue to improve and cultivate, tom.

Beautiful, insightful and incredibly wise words. If humanity thought and held beliefs like Dr Shifali, then the world would be such a beautiful, peaceful and far less toxic place. Great stuff!

I’m violently disturbed about the fact that this episode could have attracted million viewers instead of 108 thousand considering how uplifting and liberating the content is. Thanks Dr Shefali for your wisdom

What a wise woman she is, Dr.Shefali! She is also explaining it perfectly and patiently for a male. Impressive!

Agree with her 100%. Have travelled to many countries for 35 continuious years, there is no country I have seen where this massive issue does not exist. Tom love your channel...

Tom, what a gift you gave us through this great conversation with Dr. Shefali!!!! Thanks🙏

What an amazing women! I am so fascinated by her and this conversation, I cant wait to read her book. As a muslim women this conversation was so eye opening and unique i couldn't help with completely agree with her.

So many men in the comments not wanting to agree with the guest, which is not surprising. Calling her crazy and trying to argue back, displaying exactly what she is trying to explain. Take a good hard look at yourself, self reflect on why you feel the way you do, why you are the way you are. Until you really do that, you won't understand how we have been brainwashed since birth and you'll never understand who you are.

GD, this talk just blew my mind. Fascinating interview Tom. Dr Shefali is an incredibly brilliant human being. 🙏🏼

To say that there are no systemic barriers to freedom for ALL is telling of the advantage that one had because of it.

I lost a little respect for Tom. Not only is he clueless about implications of patriarchy he is so adamant and attached to his perspective, that he failed to learn from her. The fact you feel encouraged to continue to echo your reasoning over hers shows you live in the very patriarchy culture she is talking about. Your meant to interview your guest, get their insights; not keep arguing it. Thank you Doc for being so graceful and intelligent 🙏🏽

Dr. Shefali has an amazing way of explaining and her book is very helpful. Love her mind and her ability to spread the change that so needed!

The glaring hole in this entire thesis about the "oppressive" nature of existing culture, systems and/or patriarchy is the absence of an honest explanation of why restrictions may exist for certain types of behaviour. Codes, moral codes agreed upon by the greater society in order for a society to coexist in order to build civilization. These codes are created from the observation of behaviours deemed to be destructive or constructive to a society. It is where laws come from. For instance, monogamy is largely accepted as a beneficial attribute in a marriage. Why? Because if it is absent one is likely to subject oneself to a feeling of betrayal, exposure to potential disease and a rather flimsy sense of cohesion with something very important and beneficial to society.... Family. Our societies are far from perfect, however, there are distinct reasons why particular bits of knowledge are passed down from parent to child. Lessons learned.

Dr Shefali does not follow what people think, she should say. Dr Shefali deconstructs with honesty, authenticity. THis is why she is needed in our world... thank you Dr Shefali thank you

I'd love to see a conversation between Dr. Shafali and Dr. Peterson. Great interview.

Awesome interview. Glad you brought her back to the show. Everything she speaks about resonates within me and I love the dynamic Tom brings to the conversation.

IMO all any of us can do is love and have empathy for one another. As the doctor said we are culture on a micro and macro level. How we interact with others is exponential. Good or bad.

*Most people sit around and wait for inspiration, just some rare people get up and get to work.* *I may not know you personally, but I believe in you that you will succeed!* 🙏

Dr Shefali is my latest and most exciting mentor yet. Excited to hear this. 🙌🏾

I love when she said, “just because we can, doesn’t mean we should”

I’m so glad he had Dr. Shafali on this show love her books and how she explains the teachings ! I don’t think that tom was expecting his own reaction to a lot of these points and maybe it was a huge eye-opener if he’s self-aware about the patriarchy and how real it is in todays day. Just because he didn’t grow up with that experience doesn’t mean it’s not real. Much love and awesome interview !

i cant believe I've just experienced the Title literally 44:08 enlightened me. I'm Unclogged!🤯

Dr. Shafali was on 🔥 and made very validated points the whole way through. I really enjoyed this podcast, thanks for this Tom, blessings and light to you both 💕🙏

I think the explanation of patriarchy could use some simplification, as I really appreciate Tom’s legit confusion on what is “patriarchy.” I think it’s easiest to point out that patriarchy is simply a rule of law that was established solely by men & ergo by a viewpoint that is void of a feminine perspective. When women were granted “full citizenship” i.e. full personhood, it’s not like the rule of law was rewritten with a representation of the feminine perspective.

Tom is missing a lot of these points and is blocked from hearing and accepting truths that are different from his own... most of his engagement here feels counteractive

I love Ms Shefali’s content and her calm and beautiful persona

Hey Tom, usually I like your content but lately it has become apparent that your being challenged by your guests like Dr. Shefali. In this talk, particularly your naïveté towards the difficulties women face was oddly problematic. The story of your wife choosing to follow her dream and foregoing your laundry and cooking, causing you internal turmoil points to a very patriarchal foundation. My partner has and never would be responsible for my laundry. That’s insane to me. Keep navigating life, brother. Many lessons ahead for us all.

I love you Dr. Shefali! A mom of four, out of a very toxic marriage, you have literally saved my life! Forever grateful 🙏❤

Hey Tom. Great talk. I would love to see a discussion with Dr. Warren Farrel, who wrote about The Boy Crisis in which he adresses the problems for men throughout our industrial revolution. Yes, women have been subjected to all kinds of unjustified patriarchal restraints, but men have (and are) suffering from having to be self sacrificial and being disposable human beings.

To your "I just don't understand it" and "I see it different" it's the typical patriarchal commentary. Try to understand instead of being right. IF you are willing to get curious about it, then you will grow. You NEED to ADMIT what it is YOU do not know.

For real with the mansplaining moment... GREAT thoughts from Dr Shefali though and she handled it tactfully.

Being self aware is so important. Notice what you are noticing and then you can change it if needed. Great interview!! Just loving it. ❤️💪

Love this woman and everything she stands for! flipping amazing!!!

Great interview, I agree with another comment that it would have been nicer to hear more from Dr Shefali than Tom but it is also good to see him question something he doesn't agree/understand. With that to and fro, I believe that maybe its his ego popping up and disagreeing that its 'man' that has created patriarchy and has oppressed women and girls and has created this systemic problem. However Dr Shefali did specify that its not any one man's fault just as racism isn't any one white person's fault, but a cultural issue that has resulted because men happened to be at the top of the food chain at beginning of modern civilization because they're bigger/stronger/better. Perhaps this topic is more feminine inclined for him for all its meant to be for anyone who wants to awaken themselves? Jay Shetty's interview with Dr Shefali explains the man's and woman's role in shaping the culture more in depth how it may have been man that started it but actually its women that now continue to do it themselves, food for thought for sure.

we don't have to do gym to get into shape.... But to feel the strength n healthy💪... Its all about your intention! Keep that pure!

Dr. Shefali is amazing and I loved this show. However, I would have liked to hear more from Dr. Shefali and less mansplaining from Tom.

There’s something about this that feels contradictory…

Thank you Dr. Shefali on articulating the power of the patriarchy.

Self-love is self-worth. When you love yourself you find your authentic nature. Then for the first time in your life, you will be comfortable in your skin, knowing that you are perfect in the way you are at your core.

This opened up some interesting and uncomfortable perspectives- and I’m thankful for that! It’s good to feel the wheels turning in our brains. 🤘😜 Thanks for the conversation you two! It gives us a lot to think about. Time to so some self-homework! *scribbles away in a sketchbook*

my god this is whole another level of talks . this is very hard if you want to spread in humans right now , but i will 1st change myself in this and then try to make change in the world.

I absolutely love her. Such a sage. So wise! His ego is being exposed in this.

Unfortunately, ageism is real. I remember never thinking I would have to worry about it, but at 57, I feel the difference in how I am treated in the workplace, and if I decide to pursue any other professional opportunities, I am concerned I would not stand a chance against a 20-something fresh-faced competitor. I am actively researching cosmetic surgery right now. I feel I have no choice if I am to survive in the workspace. This is very interesting. I agree and feel the culture is twisted not just regarding how a woman looks, but everything mentioned, including accepting cruelty to animals, cruelty to each other, and really odd values that make us insatiable consumers.

What an amazing interview!! Loved it.

I'm 17 minutes in, I agree with everything she say about human nature. How destructive we can be, our primal nature controlling our psychology and our behaviors and how we should pursue awareness and improving our consciousness. .. but lol idk about using Mars as an example for "just because we can doesn't mean we should". We are finite beings and as far as we know, this is the only place in the entire universe where consciousness exists. We need to preserve and expand that as far as we can. It's not a need for dominance , but rather a need for understanding. Also self preservation like she said, but just preservation of humanity in general.

I really enjoyed listening to this interview with Dr Shefali ! Whilst I don’t agree that people are animals as a believer in God, Dr Shefali shared so many great insights which were further explored in helpful ways through her responses to Tim Bilyeu’s questions. I agree that there is systemic toxic patriarchy within society, & sadly men in leadership have misused their roles to oppress women & even more sadly many in women themselves have supported this oppression in various ways. I’m looking forward to listening to Dr Shefali’s book on ‘A Radical Awakening’ on Audible, to learn more from her insights & thoughts as the book definitely has a lot to offer even if I won’t agree with all of the views within it.

Best interview I watched from you Tom!

I am a fan of your KZfaq Channel Tom We women live, experience life exactly the same way Dr.Shefali talks about Tom It's more about our own invisible, mental conditioning which we women ourselves are unaware of - for a very long time - until we grow a little older or when our children grow up and somehow our daughters too need to continue the same way as we did - once they enter family life Even if they are professionals on their own with economical independence

“Indigenous wisdom will bring us back home.” When colonization came through, it ruined our food systems… and so many things. I’d like to see more indigenous peoples on the show talking about reclaiming ✊🏾 culture, values… etc

This is dope. Also love seeing people not agreeing but staying grown up about it. Great video, Tom! #anotherone

I'm a 69 year old girl and I've connected completely with Dr. Shefali. My humble thanks to her mind and books

I used to work in partisan politics and I can assure you culture is not unconscious. There is very real money, real time, energy and there are very real people working hard to create cultural movements - sometimes via co-opting or creating a celebrity, sometimes via all eyes on one big story or crime or tragedy of the moments, or via a new trend - to plant and spread specific ideas that they believe will lead to a specific response, and there always has been this type of work going on to varying degrees of success.

Thank you Tom and Shefali 🙏 I am grateful ❤✌😁

I am fascinated by Dr. Shefali ‘s talk and can’t wait to read her books. Thanks for this interview!

I am all for people becoming less sheepish and I am well aware of the need to stand for real change that takes us back to a natural life. That is why I live off grid. However there are MEAN, GREEDY, POWERFUL, and POLITICAL PEOPLE behind all of this. That is what many people are not conscious of. Therein lies the problem being trapped between power and the overwhelming population of the unconscious human.

Love from India ❤️

I want Dr. Shefali and Michael Singer to have a talk together.

Thankyou Tom for being so open minded and sharp some great conversations

Dr. Shefali: you are enough Tom: be legendary

Dr. Shefali is goals!

I’m a female and agree with Tom regarding patriarchy. 👍👍

Love this conversation!!!

Lack of community is the true cause of mental illness, this comes from ( me) a Food and Health Educator, meaning the food we eat contributes to mental illness but lack of true connection ( community,) is the biggest issue we are facing. If you go even deeper its our traumas in the past that keep us from coming together, mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and physically. Humility leads us to find our truth, a collective truth. We can only change consciousness in a better way by finding our authentic nature. Most of us are living unconsciously. The only way to grow is to change our consciousness.

Wow - I have never heard the statement “patriarchy has nothing to do with men” 😂

Society has evolved by not excepting things as they are. The drive to improve and be better does has flaws. But life experience is what gives humanity means to improve and evolve, so that our human potential and be exercised. It's ok for a older woman to have the desire to look youthful, for a young man to desire wisdom. It's all apart of evolving

Amazing Interview! Also, imho, this is not only relevant for women as I am male and my (divorced) mother tried to raise me to be a "good girl" / "good boy" too (maybe because it was all she knew, so I cannot really blame, it's the system). Anyway, that led to the same results: me letting others push me around, abuse me mentally and not protecting my boundaries. Always trying to please others (especially mother's emotional needs), in return becoming so disconnected with my own nature & true self and already having suicidal thoughts at the age of 12. So, without wanting to take any weight from what Dr. Shefali says about the system influencing girls/women, to me it seems like a general problem in society, influencing everyone, no matter which gender you have (possibly influencing females more directly and males more indirectly, e.g. through upbringing by a mother who fell for the system). Need to say though that a lot of people use these external factors, that certainly can vary from one to another in different countries over the world, as excuses (exactly what Dr. Shefali says herself you shouldn't rely on; external factors to fulfill your needs. In this case the need to have someone/something external to blame instead of looking within). So, when she talks about patriarchy, it feels like she is telling to exactly look for what she previously says not to do..and that is victimizing yourself, feels kinda contradictive. We are not responsible for our upbringing, but for what we do with what we have, so where is the practicality in blaming external factors on the road of taking care of your true self?! People, we need to stand up for ourselves, our own values & opinions and protect our boundaries! How else could we possibly get along with each other? Always trying to please and in the back of our mind constantly thinking about what we will get in return (e.g. emotional needs being met, being loved, etc.)? Playing an act of kindness constantly with the secret hope of our needs being fulfilled (although, through that act, we'd never say what we really think and stand for, therefore not even communicating our needs/wants/boundaries so people wouldn't even know them)? Feeling the need to be angry at others, because they don't fulfill our needs although we "give our everything" to them? Having a kind of balance scale in our mind where we put our actions on one side, their actions on the other side and want to create balance? Isn't that kind of trying to manipulate others to do what you want them to and especially self-manipulative too (through the delusion that the scale needs to be balanced)? Shouldn't we want others to have their freedom (not expecting them to meet our needs) and want to have our freedom ourselves? So, we'd respect ourselves, just help others and be kind if we truly can and want to, by own choice & voluntarily and therefore never feel the need to expect anything in return, which leads to us being able to truly appreciate and be grateful if someone acts with kindness towards us (as it's all free choice) and this, in turn, potentially leading to improved relationships in general. Again, just my opinion, this topic concerns every human being who was raised/conditioned to be "good", always giving and trying to please others without taking ownership of and care for their own true self, needs, goals & boundaries. Maybe it really feels worse for females (I am not in that skin), but I personally, wouldn't even differentiate that much on this topic. Still, awesome Interview, Dr. Shefali rocks!! @Tom Bilyeu, in case you read this: Thank you from the bottom of my heart for the content you put out! To me, it is immeasurably valuable and I'd bet to a sh!t ton of other people too ❤ Really appreciate the effort you put in, you're amazing man! EDIT: Don't want to tell anyone what to do, that "People, we need to[...]" part is more of a self-preach 😂

I loved the point she made about humans are also animals. It feels like Humans are programmed into thinking they’re superior to animals. I also get same feeling about the USA. It feels like USA citizens are programmed into thinking they’re more superior than countries. I am an American by the way, I don’t want it to come off as I’m a non American just hating on America. Also, of course ppl can have their opinions on which the best country, but it feels like a lot of Americans believe it’s a fact and not an opinion.

She's my vitual therapist- love her work.

Powerful! Feel that conscious is expressing itself in all areas of life, and these fields are all so new for us to navigate that these collective thoughts and experiences shared by humans at the cusp of consciousness who found their voice is the way we will create the light that guides us towards a greater awakening. So thank you for your voices. Much love 💙🌴🌊

Hey this is a nice talk and all, I learned some new things and recognized a few topix that I already embody. Well to keep this short, no that'll take too long, I'll summer eyes. I was in the army and I do believe it helped me be a better man. I learned how to mop floors and clean bathrooms to say the least. Your left side cargo pocket is for trash until you can get to a proper receptacle to dispose of it. The Army didn't teach me how to do laundry, Learnt that just like my peers but we all had our own way ironing & starching our GD-BDU's. I'll finish with saying not to look at a situation as a problem yet as a potential resolution opportunity. Now stand up straight and go take on the day.

Yees, yess and yess! I am also on a journey of finding my own voice, one year down lifetime to go. Thank you 💙

Love getting out of the banal day to day thinking we / I was/were programmed with! Thank you Tom!

I 💯 % agree with Dr Shefali! I’ve felt this way and had questioned myself till now, when I heard all about it, makes more sense and now i can see my confusion in life up till this point. Thank you for this great episode! 💕 sharing this with everyone ✅

What an amazing woman. Thank you for speaking so clearly. And I say to Tom you can know what you don’t know until your mind is opened to a new level

Thank you Dr Shefali!

Best show ever!!

Dr. Shefali‘s work is extraordinarily gifted. Amazing and insightful interview❤️

Yes, im 48 and am sitting in a couch thinking where hv i lost myself. Wht hv i done to myself. I need many more awakening to shed all those garbages i hv gathered all along these yrs. Im done and exhausted, not in anywhere near waking up. I rather want to sleep forever. Oh!! This is too much. It dsnt make any difference if im not there on this earth. It is true there are plenty around me like me, down and dusted expecting an end to it.. Im concerned..

I know a woman who was born in the 1920s. As we were watching a female CEO, she declared, "Oh, what does a woman know about business." Nobel winner Jennifer Douda was told by her high school guidance counselor that women do not do science. We are all mad here. We call these cultural implants the patriarchy, from the latin pater meaning father, but it is one bar of the prison of culture.

My very religious upbringing fits into this theory absolutely. And I've seen it with so many religious women, not as much secular women. Bravo!

It is amazing 😍😍😍 I love it soooo much. How weird it is to see it from outside the beauty paradigm...!

A woman I can agree on many topics with. And coming to these conclusions after having lived this life as an Indian woman. I’m fucking impressed!

A beyond brilliant conversation! Judging from some of the comments below you certainly struck a chord, Dr. Shefali! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

Men compete for status, which is power and money, that's why we live in a "patriarchy." Women compete for men. It's not lost on me that a hot woman is telling women to accept themselves as they are, which is a stoic message I agree with in the sense of accepting reality, but it's not an immutable reality. The point of accepting reality is to be better positioned to change it. It would be akin to telling men to accept their class. Accept you are who you are where you are, but then work to be the person you want to be. It's not men that oppress women, women have the power of they want it. Yes, they would have that power through men, but men would readily submit themselves to the serfdom of women if women used their power to it's full extent. Women bring women down because they compete with women. It's clear that men value women over men. There are more resources devoted to abused women than men. Women are more likely to get the children in a divorce. Men are more likely to pay for child support. Women get less and less harsh sentencing for the same crimes than men. Women don't have to work as hard in the military. And it's mostly men making those judgements. You could claim women are being oppressed by cultural standards, except those cultural standards are primarily enforced by women, and those standards have rarely been so libertine.

The male-female roles vary in different cultures and over time. Although I agree with her that we need to monitor and correct imbalances in

Thanks

Dang she is hitting with a whole bunch of wise quotes here "self acceptance is your greatest sword" and "beauty for utility vs a standard of beauty"

I agree with DR. Shefali when comes to the man is always in control. My dad made the rules, he paid the bills, made babies, beat the shit out of us. My mom took care of everything inside the house including my 6 siblings 25/7. The mental thing has so much to do with how women were (are)treated; my mother was afraid of my father to step in and protect us from his abuse. We grew up tucked up because of this. I still see women doing everything for their men here in the states, I don't like it. If men would step in and help their wives with their kids, and stop the cycle of abuse, there wouldn't be so much crime. Women need to be in control of their own lives as well as the men. No one owns no one!! When I was stationed in Europe, sex was freely talked about. Nude beaches and nude posters of females, children, and men were posted on store windows. I go to Iraq, a man can have more than 3 women to himself, the youngest could be12. Women in the Middle East are forced to cover their bodies and if they caught cheating with their eyes, they would be stoned to death. Religion is in chaos in the Middle East. Here in the states a piece if paper and a ring means that woman is taken and owned. I don't believe women and animals should be owned by man.

Such beautiful, hearty and needed conversation! Thank you both 😍

That was one of the wisest interviews I've seen in a very long time. What a beautiful mind, she is

She has some good insights on culture, but her approach is a black & white application overly emphasizes it's and makes victims of everyone - especially women and children. Yes, AND, of course radical ownership is therefore powerful, necessary and transformative. But culture also includes so much of the good, true and beautiful - which she appears to ignore.