When Illy said, "People will care if you disappear one day, they will notice, they will miss you more than you will ever know" I actually burst into tears, I really needed to hear that.

This may have been one of your best and most important videos. You’re an incredible person, Illy. ❤

My first intake, the nurse kept demanding to know why I was crying the whole time and wouldn't accept "I'm scared" as an answer. Ducking Susan.

My great grandmother had schizophrenia and she spent her life in and out of hospitals. She had horrible treatment, and our family believes my great aunt was fathered not by my great-grandfather, but a worker at one of the hospitals. She was a wonderful woman according to my mum, not violent just troubled. She just heard voices, she loved her family. She passed when I was a baby, but I’ve been told her funny stories my whole life. I’m proud to be her relative, what a strong woman she was and how the cards she was dealt were so cruel. She spent her last 10 years of life hospital free, comfortable and surrounded by family. I’ve been quite depressed lately, and I remind myself of how my family has fought through mental health again and again. She found happiness, and so can I. No shame in being admitted, but I know there’s strength within me.

"Half of us are gay, Susan!" 😂 I loved that comeback.

“Seeking help doesn’t make you a burden, it doesn’t make you a attention seeker your not being dramatic or over sensitive what your feeling is real its sad and its scary” Really made me burst into tears

As a survivor of attempted suicide, I can really relate. I’ve stugged with depression since I was ten and suicide since eleven. Always know that people do care, and don’t be afraid to call 988 (aka the mental health line) and talk to a professional about anything you need. There are always people that love you. Stay strong♥️

Remember tho, it’s only been around 13 years or so that many pscychiatric hospitals stopped treating patients like animals. Around the 80’s - 90’s In Brazil for example, a man called Austregésilo Carrano Bueno was locked up in a psych ward by his parents for smoking weed and was abused by the staff. He went through shock therapy, he was not allowed to visit his family, he was beaten, thrown in the solitary on many occasions, given medicine he was not prescribed for etc. This is an actual event that happened to an actual human being less than 50 years ago. His story was documented in a movie called “Bicho de 7 Cabeças” so if anyone wants to learn more, that’s a nice way to go. He also published a book called “Canto dos Malditos”, so that’s also a really good way to learn more abt his case.

I lost my little sister in 2020. She was one of the few members in our family that we didn't think we needed to check in on. The "People will notice. People will miss you." line is so, so real

I almost cried when you said, "People will care if you disappear one day, they will notice, they will miss you more than you will ever know." I needed to hear that! Thank you for helping to destigmatize mental health hospitals, and for having the strength to tell your story! You seem like an amazing person! ❤️

"DO it half of us are gay susan" got me dying

This is an INCREDIBLE video. I went to a pediatric psych hospital after a s*icide attempt in 2008, and I still remember it fondly. Thank you for spreading this word.

I hate them being called insane asylums. It makes them seem scary and a horrible place. I had to spend quite a bit of time in a mental health hospital and for the first few weeks, I was terrified because I kept thinking to myself "everyone here is crazy and could lash out at any moment". In reality, they are just like regular hospitals but for people with some issues. No psychopathic cannibals strapped to chairs or screaming people ripping themselves apart. Just a place to help people get better

As a nurse that works mainly in the adolescent unit of a psychiatric hospital, I am really glad that a video like this exists. So many of the kids that come in could definitely benefit by seeing and hearing other's stories and seeing that they're not alone in their experiences.

As a 24 year old who spent most of my teenage years in the psych hospital and going through residential stays as well. I don't even have to watch further than the intro because that was absolutely accurate. We were ruthless to some of the staff.

I have been diagnosed with PTSD, anxiety and depression and as a result I have been to the psych ward a couple of times. It was tough being away from the people I loved and in the end I became stronger than I was at the start of my sojourn in the psych ward. I just wanted to give my thanks to Illy for shining some light to people who only think of psych wards in the context of horror movies. Thank you for being such an incredible person Illy

"if i wasnt clinically troubled before i definitely was now" i feel that. i went to a GOOD hospital and i still came out more traumatized than before.

as someone who ended up in the psych ward after a seriously damaging suicide attempt, I thank you, illy. keep spreading your kindness. edit: thank you all for your concern, i'm doing much better now! remember that you are loved. ❤

i was diagnosed with bipolar disorder- and i had a severe manic episode which risked my life- i didnt realize the problems and my parents sent me there -- im glad people are talking about these things so others can feel comfortable with their experiences

“half of us are gay, susan” is the best line of this whole thing

i was sent to a mental hospital, and all of the patients were really nice. The nurses, however, clearly viewed us as sick and hardly even people. I wasnt clearly struggling, and one of the nurses looked at me and said 'it must be hard to be surrounded by all this sickness.' When I was interviewing for partial the lady who was interviewing me treated me like a child. People really dont understand that a lot of the times its not the patients who are the scariest part about psych wards.

As someone who’s also been admitted several times, it’s very comforting in a strange way to know that I am not alone and that one of my favorite KZfaqrs has a similar experience to me. I know this must be extremely difficult to talk about, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing and making so many people feel less alone. This feels very de-stigmatizing and again, (I know I sound like a broken record,) thank you, you amazing person!

I love how you’re so open about this. Once I rewatch this video you have almost everywhere I am crying. I love Bluey and I love people who are open to talking about things when I am just a little insecure about that. Thank you, Ilyssa.

Im a pre teen and im struggling with depression and i am close to doing it but im afraid of going to a mental hospital/pysch ward. Update: i just got back from the mental hospital, im on my moms bus right now, my mom didnt beileve me when i said i am gettibg worse, but i told the school counselor and roscranch came and i talked, told them my plan, how i was gonna tell my mom to bring me to a mental hospital in 3 weeks so i can prepare, i went to an emergency room, i got myself help, my mom and school Consluler was proud of me because of what i did, i did not go to streamwood, i went somewhere else, my meds had a side affect of suicidel thoughts and othrr shit, but it was also me, dont be afraid to go to a mental hospital, especially if you need it.

Hey Illy! I’m currently 12 and have been admitted to a mental hospital twice. It really has been damaging to tell people but this video really made me realize that needing help isn’t something to be ashamed of. Thank you so much for this video. I really needed it.❤

Speaking as someone from Bangladesh, a third world country, this is something we so desperately need. But we're stuck in the (in the American context) 1950s when in comes to mental healthcare. Just knowing that this type of acceptance exists somewhere on this planet is immensely helpful. Sending this to all my depressed friends. ♥️

OK, I've written quite a bit - I've been struggling with my ADHD and it spiraled into depression. Yesterday I told my family - I don't know how much longer I can go like this, I resorted to self harm about a year ago and It feels like it's getting worse, I've gotten to a point where it's a struggle to eat, sleep, work. I started researching and I don't really know what to do, or where I was meant to go to seek help, I've got an appointment with my psychologist coming up and I'm a little scared. I saw this video and it was a massive comfort, thank you

My best friend is also struggling with mental health. I want to say that I appreciate you making this video. Not just for speaking up for those needing help, but your description is also reassuring for those like me on the outside.

Using an anonymous account because I don't usually comment, but I just wanted to say thank you. As a 15 year old that has been contemplating suicide for the last year or so, hearing that "people will miss you" made me realize that there is people I have in my life to live for. I've been afraid of telling a therapist or my parents about being suicidal, because I was afraid of being admitted to a psych ward, but after seeing this I might decide to be a little more open with them. Thank you so much

I'm a 51-year-old man who struggles with depression and mental health. Your message of "people care about you" brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for this.

I feel the emotions you placed in this video, I'm glad you're doing better in a world filled with broken souls. Great video illy, glad you're back on my recommended. Haven't seen you since sophmore year of highschool.

10:48 I don't lie to people when they ask where I am (mental hospital or just having autistic burnout), I just tell them I died temporarily

I'm a counseling intern at a psych hospital. Genuinely thank you for trying to break the stigma. More people need to be like you. This was extremely brave. Another banger as always.

“seeking help doesn’t make you a burden, it doesn’t make you an attention seeker. You are not being overdramatic or too sensitive” thank you, thank you, thank you. Cried through the second half of the video, currently still crying. Thank you

Idc how long ago this video was, this made me cry. Thank you for explaining and helping sm people by talking abt your story and experience :)

When Illy said, “ People will care if you disappear one day, they will notice, they will miss you more than you will ever know” I Brust out laughing bc I didn’t believe her, then I realized how much I needed to hear that, and cried with all the tears I had. You really are an amazing person you deserve the best, Illy ❤️

Literally crying because I was just in the situation where I was terrified to be admitted into the pych ward. I was and still am in the lowest point in my life and my parents thought it would be best to be evaluated. It's a difficult thing to admit, that you need help but it's better to get the help than for it to be too late

I remember watching this video the day it came out and I was actually aware of how mental hospitals were very different from how they are portrayed through media beforehand but this video reinforced the good things I knew about them. Especially now after I had to be admitted into a mental hospital of my own and despite me knowing all the "horror" stories and assumptions were not true it didn't make it any less nerve racking but watching this video again, now that I'm discharged, just gives me a big sense of comfort. Thank you Illy! ❤

I just wanted to say, thank you illy. I recently was admitted into a psychiatric hospital and this video helped me so much. You’re a treasure to KZfaq.

Hoo boy, nearly 40 year old here who was admitted to the psych ward at 17 and 23. Man, this is relatable! Dealt with a ton of depression and anxiety stuff that sent me to very bad places, and both times really helped me get back on track. And people will notice that you’re gone. No one is an island. This society is just geared to make it feel that way.

5:17 you're shitting me. When I was in a ward it was LITERALLY that. Doctors forcing medicine on patients, security "securing" someone having a panic attack by pinning her to the ground and then (literally) throwing her into an isolation room-- BRUH when I got out I was WORSE. I still have freaking nightmares. County of Riverside Mental Health Facility. It was literally a giant room with chairs to sleep on. No activities, no outside time, no private places to retreat to if you had a panic attack. If an argument broke out or anything happened, security used excessive force. I was TERRIFIED the ENTIRE TIME. This was in 2019!!!!! I'm-- I'm genuinely so freaking mad. I've been avoiding reaching out for help because of my experiences.

I was admitted for the first time when I was 17. I was SA’d, had people come after me online and tell me that I was a liar and didn’t deserve to live. I survived an attempt and ended up at the psych ward. Didn’t tell anyone until later on because I felt humiliated. I also had a breakdown at college 2 years later and got escorted to the psych ward which also felt humiliating. It helps for some and doesn’t for others, but in my experience it helped me get out of those spirals. The care teams helped me so much with planning things step by step. And I’ll never forget the great people I met there❤

Thank you for letting my friend and roommate have comfort and knowledge of what she would exspect before going to the hospital. This helped motivate her and ease her anxiety a shit ton so we could get out the door and go. I cannot thank you enough!

I work with vulnerable teenagers and I will try to share this video around to those who can benefit from it. I went to a clinic myself in 2019 it was more of a personality disorder treatment of 9 months but I understand the shame. The whole "People will miss you when you're gone" part really hit me. Thank you for this video.

Everyone let’s all give a round of applause to illy for being brave ans strong to talk about her experiences with a psych ward. And to everyone else talking about their experiences,you are strong too,and we are happy to see you strong

I'm glad you make vids like these cuz mental health is very under-rated and if this can encourage anyone to seek help, it's effort well spent. Thank you!

As a med student who's aiming to be a psychiatrist, thank you for speaking up about this. There's still so much stigma around mental health and seeking help to the point I've heard multiple times that I'm wasting my potential by deciding to pursue the mental health branch as if it's any less important. I'll stay true to my dreams and help as much people as I possibly can. I want to give back and take care of others and I can't stress enough how important and crucial is mental health

"People will care if you disappear one day." That line instantly brought me to tears. Didn't know how much I needed to hear that. Thank you for being brave!

I'm going to a mental hospital soon and this video helped me prepare a tiny bit. Tysm.

Thank you so much! I am terrified of psych wards, since I am neurodivergent (medium support needs) and I don't think people there will listen to what I need, and just put me through some traumatic programm that harms me more than it does good. This video really helped me to understand that neurodivergent/disabled people have a place there too, and it feels less scary now. Thank you so much!

I went to a psych ward and it was upsetting but it wasn’t an awful experience. It’s nothing like the movies or video games. I just read books, colored and talked to people. I was scared that my fiancé wouldn’t stay with me because who wants a crazy girl but he didn’t care! We really need to destroy the idea that psych wards and patients are dangerous monsters.

I work as a mental health tech and stribe to be a “Maria” every single day. It makes me so happy when adults who were once admitted recognize the distinction between the Susan’s and are thankful for the work we do. It’s definitely an “underpaid” position, but it’s the most gratifying and fulfilling job I have ever worked. I was admitted and I have struggled with depression since I was 17, and being able to give back to the community that once saved my life means the literal world to me. Thank you Illy🧡

I love it!, it is a very magically helping, suiting, special and supporting story to hear you tell! ❤ I'm glad you finaly had the courage to tell others about it!!

All the things you said in this video are so meaningful to me and always hit me right in the heart. I love this and as someone who struggles with severe anxiety, I feel like I wouldn’t be scared going to psych ward anymore if I needed to which is amazing. Thank you, and also the advice you gave about people noticing when you disappear is amazing too and it helps a lot. Thank you.

Great vid Illy!

all the clips you showed before you admitted yourself really shows that people can hide what their actually feeling. if i had met you then i wouldn’t have suspected anything was wrong. makes me really sad that i’ve met people that are going through terrible things and are hiding it. truly feel sorry for them and you. i’m glad your doing better now. thank you for sharing this with us ❤️

sometimes i forget the strength it took to voluntary commit myself 2 years ago during a manic psychosis. I'm on the back end of my worst manic episode since then and while it took a lot out of me i managed it and am stronger because of it. even if it doesn't always feel that way. Thank you for reminding me of that strength. keep spreading the love

Yeah but also the truama hmm let me list a few of my experiences :D * Restraints for no good reason * Booty juice * The screams * Not being allowed to speak * Told I’m faking for attention * Talking shit about me with other staff IN FRONT OF ME * Watching fights * All the codes * People sharing their trauma giving me anxiety and fears * Being put on 1 to 1 for no reason * Locked in the padded room for a seizure attack * Almost being attacked many times * Leaving me on the floor alone during seizure’s thinking i want attention * Watching someone attempt and staff had to perform life saving measures as paramedics ran in and we were shoved into another room * Stripped and searched on the weekly and just randomly * Alarm sounds and staff running ro other units not saying what was going on - almost daily * Skyland * Not allowed to ho to therapy, locked in my room * Stripped and patted down * Being refused medical care Anchor * Being dragged across the floor * Physically attacked * Verbally abused by staff * Told i was faking * Far to small food rations * Denied to use the bathroom * Rats and shit everywhere * Watching kids punch through a wall to escape * Staff Giving wrong dosing of my meds and sometimes refusing to give me them all together Rose Crance - best of them all but shitty still * left alone on the floor during seizures * Being SA’d and everyone thinks I lied * Refused medical care * Told i was faking * Watching bad fights * Being forced to say chants before doing anything * Forced to shower in front of staff (they would stare at me) General ER * being ignored * Waiting for hours * Denied anything to do * Doing nothing while i screamed and cried in the corner * Not listening at all

I remember after my last major suicide attempt, everything about me was physically fine but I didn't know if my body was secretly damaged so I worked up the courage to tell my older brother that I needed to get checked at a hospital to be safe. This led to me admitting to him what I did the night before and of course he told the rest of my family. He takes me to the hospital and there is literally nothing wrong with my body, but I am getting talked with a psychiatrist before being released just to be safe. This is when my father reaches the hospital and enters during the talk. He takes over the conversation to scream "If there is really something wrong with you, we will put you in an asylum till you are normal again. Is that what you want? Us to leave you there if you are depressed? Or is there really nothing wrong with you?". The psychiatrist had to ask him to leave the room. I don't tell them about this stuff anymore.

This is such a powerful video and it’s so relatable

This really makes me wish I had been admitted as a kid when I needed it, and super happy to see that other people got help of their own, thank you for spreading awareness on this!

illy you are literally so strong and you mean so much to me ☹️💕 your videos always help me, even find things out about myself. i’ve loved you for years and i’m so glad i did and your doing good. don’t ever give up hope, your so brave and i really look up to you ❤

I involuntarily was admitted to a psych ward during middle school, everything that I had buried in my traumas had come up and when I got their all the doctors were so nice and the patients around my age were like me awkward and confused and figuring out the world.

As a person who's mother has threatened to send them multiple times... Thank you. My mental health is often never taken seriously, and 'sending me away' is used as a threat rather than an option to help me. You are an amazing person, Illy!

This popped up on a day I needed it. I have been dealing with stuff most of my life but have never really been able to get help. I spent most of the morning trying to find help in my area but no dice. I am still here to write this so I guess you can consider today a success either way.

I’m so proud of you that your able to share your story to the people considering going to the mh

Despite this whole thing being animated, you feel real. There's no dramatic background music, no comedic sound effects, just a person, sharing what happened...😊

As a high schooler who’s dad doesn’t take anxiety or mental health seriously, this helps a lot, you are really gonging to help the world with this video.

Hey, thanks so much for getting have enough to share this experience! My friend had gone to one a couple times, but it was a bit hard for them to talk about at the time. Thanks for helping understand what it was like for them a bit better :)

I personally love seeing the "988" posters in the video and the links. my grandfather started this project and my family and I helped. we put an insane amount of work and I'm glad it paid off.

Illy, thank you for making this. I'm 13 and I've been admitted too a psyche ward twice. I don't think I can explain how much seeing one of my favorite animators talk about this kind of experience means to me.

as a twelve year old who's been terrified of asking for help and opening up for over a year, thank you illy. My mental health and my issues has always been mocked and never taken seriously. Thank you illy, you're an amazing person and I'm so sorry that happened to you and I'm happy you managed to get through it and recover

as someone who’s been to one of these before, it really depends on the hospital, the one i went to made everything sososo much worse.

I'm going to be honest, I've never heard of or seen your channel before, but mental health is something we do not see enough people talking about online, i am coming out of my lowest point and every word you said is true, your not a burden because you struggle, everyone needs help sometimes, some for some its family, others its friends, for me it was a mental health charity that provides counselling, and i turned there because i couldn't get the help i needed anywhere else, please keep doing what your doing, this is something that people need to see and need to talk about, too many people have the idea of bottling it up till they have a meltdown and its dangerous.

I was involuntarily admitted to a psych ward back in 2012. I had been struggling with severe OCD, but didn't know what it was at the time. I'll never forget the doctor saying "he needs to stay", and crying my eyes out until we got to the actual ward. I was surprised at how nice all the other patients and doctors and nurses were. The night I was admitted was the worst night of my life, but the day I was released was one of the best.

“People will care if you disappear one day, they will notice, they will miss you more than you will ever know” That was everything I needed to hear, thank you illy

I’ve been very scared to admit myself to one, but after watching this I’ve figured out that I shouldn’t have to struggle alone, thanks illy, you’re story gave me courage❤

During my first year of middle school, I was involuntary admitted into a mental hospital. I felt ashamed during my time away from my family, but even missed my older sisters birthday. Thank you for making this video and explaining the reality of what IS a psych ward. Gracias!!

I was admitted involuntarily when I was 12, and I can honestly say that in that terrifying time, the other patients I met there were some of the nicest people I had ever met. Thank you for making this, it will truly help so many people ❤️

When I was 14, I was also admitted to one of these beloved hospitals. My experience was okay, but boy were there times I remembered. At one point in my week long vacation, a counselor in a group session ended up venting to US about her divorce and her soon to be ex husband. Very interesting. I'm much better now, and if you're in a place where you don't feel safe, or you're struggling, there is always someone somewhere willing to lend a hand. Please don't be afraid to speak out, carry on, you can do this!

thank you so much for putting up this video it made me cry because earlier this month as a thirteen year old I was admitted to the mental hospital because I tried to hurt myself but because of you let me explain studios and Jaiden animations I have reason to keep on living even when life wants me to die you help me never ever give up on my dreams and to help me stay healthy thank you so much.

you are my ABSOULTE favorite youtuber for animation overall.

as a 11 year old, who always thought that my problems are "too small" and that "im gonna be a burden", this video has helped me a bunch, youre like a therapist. Thanks you, Illy

this made me cry and realize im not being dramatic, im young and people often tell me im just in a bad mood. we love you illy and we’re all proud of you❤

Thank you so much for this Video. I'm currently going through quite a phase and I thought about admitting my self but I was so scared about it all that I choosed not to. Watching this video really helps with that anxiety and also just changed my mind about what a psychiatric hospital is in gerneral. You made the thought of admitting my self way les scary and more welcoming. Again thank you so so much for this video, you're changing and most defently even saving people's lives by helping them to overcome this fear of psychiatric hospitals. Thank you, you're amazing❣

Thanks so much for this video! I myself have trauma related to mental health facilities and this was very helpful. Those horrible students is one of the reasons I struggle to seek help today and thanks for actually talking about that. If I someday get my courage back I will make sure to say that I under no circumstances want to have medical students watching or participate in my health. Thank you again ❤

I remember going to the psychiatric hospital and thinking that I was extremely weird and did not belong anywhere in the world and seeing this made me feel way better about me actually going in and having to do it a couple times. Thank Illy! You're doing great things for everyone.

This is crazy because I'm actually going to check into inpatient on Monday. I'm really scared but I need help, thank you so much for this.

Honestly I would say illy is my favorite animation story time KZfaqr right now, I feel like I connect to a lot of her story’s. Some examples are I don’t like my body, I was bullied as a kid, I was super talkative, and honesty not going through the best time rn. She’s also really good at educating people on different topics, and it’s really nice. Thank you illy ☺️

I love you so much, Illy!!! You are so strong and wonderful. Thank you for giving me courage in my mental and emotional rut. You truly do help people. More than you know. Stay safe and I will too!!!!!❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

I can’t be the only one who’s loved watching illy’s channel turn into such a safe educational place while still keeping that same humor she’s always had in her videos💗

this gave me the courage to tell my mom about the thoughts i’ve been having. i just told her, we cried, she hugged me. we’re going to the doctor tomorrow

Thank you for this. I've been struggling for years and have been afraid to really seek help. But this makes me think that maybe I could, before I do something I'll never have the chance to regret

I'm really glad you made this video, I think this going to help - not just a lot young people.... but some of us that are a bit older and just know this might be something they have to experience in life.

I'm currently interning as a therapist at a pediatric psych hospital. This video is so, so important. There are so many kids who need to know it is okay to get help.

My best friend in 8th grade was admitted for a week after she'd been talking about wanting to end things. She'd also said she'd rather end it that go to another facility. I'd thought the worst and asked our shared teachers and friends if they'd known anything or had any updates. My friends knew nothing and the teachers said they couldn't talk about it with me, further solidifying my worst case scenario in my head. When she got back I was so relieved I cried and gave her the biggest hug. I think about her and reach out to this day. Someone cares and someone will miss you. Trust me.

This helped me a lot I’ve been In and out of depression for a couple days now but when I came across this video it gave me the motivation to move forward and be happy so thank you for helping me 💪🏻 I’m strong I can do this

im so happy for you haley!!! you deserve this 💗.

My mom is a former crisis therapist in the ER(currently practicing therapist) and the horror stories about how crappy mental health is treated is insane

"Seeking help doesn't make you a burden, it doesn't make you an attention seeker, you're not being overdramatic or too sensitive, what you're feeling is real." I'm a young individual who has been told the last 3 things whenever I open up to anyone, and I honestly needed that. Thank you Illy, even if I'm too scared to tell someone that'll really help me, that lifted some of the fear in my mind about venting to others.