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oh man... being an infj has almost been like a disability for me.

we are perfectionists that's why we worry all the time!!! we have to stop trying to please every body cause it's impossible!! i am writing this for myself too!!!

“How are two people in an argument saying the same thing?” 😂 yessssss

my ten year old has me worrying about stuff that may never happen. I read too deeply into things. I go from being happy to mad at the same person in the same sitting

I am an Empowered INFJ Empath and I'm still learning how to use my ability in a positive way to improve my life and those around me.

Some questions for INFJs to reflect on in order to develop further: Am I truly giving back or just seeking approval? What's the kind thing I can do and not just the nice thing? How can I be available to meet peoples needs without compromising my own? What others reflective questions do you think could help INFJs grow?

“I too grant approval to others.” That hit my soul!

when i discovered infj was a thing and there are people like me and im not just a weird super thinker i was vary relieved to say the least! it blew my mind how accurate this is for me and my lifes endeavors so far! ive always known i was different than my peers. i was often told i was a very cock kid but i knew i wasnt i just kinda knew stuff also it was always striking to me how others missed so many key points when trying to read others, like i could tell you if someone was lying by the way they turned their head when that specific part of their story came around and it was just a tiny tiny bit off putting then id follow up with a question about something they were passionate about and boom they sure as shit spoke in a slightly different manner and within minutes even seconds i would seemingly know that person was lying! but i always kept my insight in my head because i dident want people to take me for this cocky kid even when i sheerly knew i was spot on with my analysis for any given situation! these videos have brought allot of light on why i felt so odd as a child but im starting to see things different now and in a very good way i might add!

Shut in behavior: not necessarily connected with self loathing; self protection is an aspect, especially when recovering from situations involving toxic people, or people in your space, defying attempted boundaries, maybe sly, untrustworthy types. These situations can also trigger depression, a not uncommon side-kick to fear or struggles with setting and enforcing personal boundaries.

As an INFJ, I've learned that I need to work on setting boundaries for myself. I set one a few minutes ago after I realized why I was one of my relationships didn't go so well and why I was left somewhat bitter or dissatisfied. I always put his needs first and when I needed him to do the same for me, I now realized that he had put boundaries to protect himself first before he could cater to me. After understanding how I show love and how I receive it and after understanding that I need to set boundaries and not be afraid to say no I will surely not make the same mistakes over and over. Its something that I needed to hear. I see me understanding the ways that I receive love as something that can help my future (and current) relationships

I wish I knew MBTI typing earlier in life so that I did not need to feel lost all the time. I didn't need to feel so lonely in this universe. It's not like I don't have friends, I have a lot but the void I feel is too real coz even I couldn't explain why I do what I do and why I feel what I feel.

I love how you talk like we think. In the ENTP video you adapted your speaking style to them, in this you're adapted to us. I'm really impressed by how you do that.

This explains why I can accept people unconditionally irl but online I have zero patience for people whose ideas I find harmful to others. People who know me irl are often surprised by my online ruthless behavior.

I can definitely relate to this. I want people around me to be happy, and I avoid conflict to such an extreme that I would rather keep my true thoughts and feelings to myself than ruffle any feathers or start a debate. This is probably the thing I dislike most about myself. There is only one person that I feel comfortable being vulnerable with and that is my husband. My strong connection with him actually worries me because if anything were to ever happen to him I would feel completely and utterly alone. I have a supportive family and friends but I feel as if they don't really know me on the level that I long to be known on, to my own fault. One relationship I would like to develop more is my relationship with my mom. I love her. She has a strong voice in life which I envy. I often times do not agree with her but I always nod in agreement because she can get quite defensive and passionate when someone opposes her views which is very intimidating to me. My husband gets very annoyed that I don't "stand up for myself. He tells me that my opinion matters and I agree, I just don't feel that its worth expressing them in the moment but overall its something I really wish I could do.

Learning about the hardwiring of my mind has been a game changer for me. Setting boundaries was my biggest challenge but I have learned to say no, even to those hardest to say no to. Saying no to my family led to a conversation with them that changed our relationship and they now are more respectful of my time. I no longer value others approval over my own. I'm more confident and speaking up more often in groups where I usually fade into the background. I'm still working on finding a balance between getting the time I need as an introvert and not being a shut in on the weekends as I have a lot of human interaction through out the week.

The 10 year old example is perfect and indeed, I was acting literally like I did in this age remaining in a comfort bubble and avoiding everything and everyone, time to act on this matter, thank you!

Great video, Joel :) It really spoke to me. I've always felt like a week and disingenuous person because I want all people to approve of me, even the ones I don't like. Even crazymakers. I have some work to do when it comes to setting boundaries. My defence is to not get too friendly with anyone. I can be personal and share stuff, sure, but I usually keep people at a "social distance" where they can't hurt me. I often find that a friendship with someone implies a kind of loyalty I am not willing to offer. I have to do stuff _because_ we're friends. And I think I feel this way because I have a hard time saying no and set healthy boundaries, and not because my friends are being "mean" to me. If I don't set boundaries, I don't get the respect I want and people walk all over me. And I laughed a bit at the physical shut-in part. I do that. When my ENFP boyfriend goes away for days or weeks at the time, I have no idea what I'm doing. I fall into some sort of depression and have a tendency to stay in the house for days at the time and be afraid of other people looking at me (this is super weird) and afraid to have to make conversation with anyone. When I'm fully in my harmony process, I'm the total opposite of that. It's like I got two different personalities. Luckily, I now identify the signs of this accuracy-depression when it starts sneaking up on me, and know I have to be socialized in some way to escape it. Thank you for making this video, it is very comforting to hear that there is a solution to my accuracy-problems :)

how I give and recieve love is pretty accurate. I struggle with insecurities. often wanting reassurance to see where I stand with certain people. a friend of mine was sick so I txted her and said are you feeling better

I can identify with what is described here. Although I have been on a personal growth journey since first discovering that I am an INFJ 17 years ago, I still find that every once in a while, I morph into what I think will make the other person happy. This happens much less than it used to but still my journey continues. There is more work to do as far as me allowing people to demand my attention. I am much better at saying no however, I am in a new relationship and need to be better at putting up boundaries as far as how often he wants to be with me. As much as I enjoy being with him, there are other things in my life that are being neglected and this causes me some stress; not a great amount of stress but I am concerned about falling into a pattern. This video is very helpful to me because it serves as very strong affirmation for me to avoid my blindside and to be self-aware as I move through my life. Thank you posting this.

Over the years, my 10 year old has got me worrying about if the kindness I show to people will ever be returned in the same caliber that I gave it. It's quite annoying because now I hesitate sometimes before I do something nice.

Setting boundaries on time is the BEST advice, if we don't do it people get surprised when we disappear from their lives and we end up looking like the "bad guy".

I've been reading self help material since childhood, I didn't even realize people were making such a big deal about infj until I googled it my result. What?! even people saying to others "you're not a REAL infj, you just want to be cool" what? who would argue with someone that they're REALLY introverted intuitive,feeling and judging. Crazy!

“Harmony requires the strength to wade through a world of people in pain looking for someone to act as an emotional dialysis machine.” That one hit home man.

wow iv never been able to explain myself but I can be a contradiction. . I cannot believe the accuracy of this. .. I always wondered why I was different and see the universe in the way that I do. . over the years my intuition of self has grown.. I have to seek truth at all times. . knowing the truth has made me understand things better. .

As a 59 year old with a degree in sociology/ psychology, I have taken the MB test many times. I always tested to be an INTJ until recently. It was a lifetime goal of mine to not fear social interaction. Having two children then seven grandchildren drive me crazy, especially the ADHD extroverts at times! Lol But it was them that eventually helped me to grow the most! I now test as an INFJ-A and on the enneagram I am a 1 with a 2 wing: Both labeled as The Advocate. My sustained truths: I will move mountains for a person with appreciates my effort. I hate being interrupted when on a role. Criticize or doubt me (personally) and I will stay to myself for years gardening, researching and being with animals instead of people. I still have tons of growth needed!

I've recently discovered I am an INFJ. It has answered a lot of questions about why I am the way I am. But dealing with this has been hard for me because of how I was raised. By wolves I think. All about bravado and shiwing off. Especially with violence. It took me a long time to realize fighting physically was wrong. I used to knock guys down and let them know I could destroy their face, then get up without throwing a punch. Win. Win. Right? I'm 55 and have so much to learn and understand about myself. Thanks for clearing up some things about my psycology. Very appreciated

I recently read a post on Quora about the differences between Ni and Ne. Ni was described as essentially seeing possibilities of recurring themes. Ne was described as seeing the possibilities for particulars. I thought this was a great way of putting it. Ni dominants can do both, but seeing the potential of general themes and detecting patterns in the world is what you will do most, as an Ni dominant. What your focus is on is determined by your extroverted functions. An INFJ will take in social/emotional data and intuit upon that information. INTJs will take in mechanical information and intuit upon it. The accuracy of that information will depend on how much information is collected and the more experience the individual has. Over time, ideas will be refined. The tertiary function will play a major role in this process. For an INFJ, Ti will help to refine the process, either by fine tuning definitions for a theory or by more accurately determining the most accurately logical information. For INTJs, it may feel more like authenticity and creating a vision for an ideal future for the individual. An INTJ may have a vision of an ideal world which is existentially profitable for mankind, according to the individual

I recently have just discovered MBTI and am extremely grateful to have been introduced. I was also advised by the person who introduced me to watch this video after taking the test, being categorized as an INFJ-A. I have read a lot of articles on the subject before arriving here (feeling shocked by the accuracy). I rarely comment on a video is a colossal understatement for me. However I was in tears during a section of this video when you stated "at worst INFJ's can become physical shut-ins....." you asked for a reply and given the euphoric feeling you have given me at this moment of ending your video, I felt I owed you a reply. I locked myself away from the world for over seven years (literally), the reasons and circumstances are irrelevant to the public but I was truly compromised in ways I believed were irrevocable. I have since emerged in a small way and, I will honor your advise by continuing to grow my harmony process! The person who introduced me is an extroverted feeling (harmony)! Maybe fate knocking haha! The entire video spoke to me, after feeling incomprehensible to others for so many years, I am so very grateful for this moment and with all my willpower will carry it forward with me every day! Thank you so much!

I just discovered this through the 16persomality test and with this type of personality to set Life has almost forced me to set boundaries and I’m Catching it early in life.

I'm 17, and Personality Hacker has been such a comfort and a relief lately. I've known I was an INFJ since I was 14, when I took the paper test for a Family and Consumer Science class in our Relationships unit, but I really appreciate how Personality Hacker focuses on growth and coaching people on how they can navigate the world while considering their unique needs and comfort zone. Thank you for all that you do!!! 😊

This right on and so helpful. The car analogy and specific ways that I can focus on personal growth for my personality is so so helpful. Excellent information, thank you!

"I have two quick lists for you, today" - Y'all are brilliant. Brilliant.

This video, along with all your other videos on the INFJ Personality Type, has caused a great deal of "aha's" on my part; and I was very sceptical on the whole theory on cognitive functions (due to the MBTI questionnaire relying heavily on the insight people have in themselves) - but I have researched A LOT for the past two weeks, and gosh, does everything make perfect sense when taking real-life behavior into account. Like one user commented earlier, I really like how you adapt your manner of speaking to the individual type on subject, Joel. I remember listening to the INTJ-typing, and it was much more factual and with a much more business-like in attitude and choice of words. Please, continue doing that when making videos on growth for the individual types. It really works! Also, the implementation of exercises or questions we need to do/ask ourselves after we've listened to/watched the video is great. The "read and listen, then do"-approach is probably thought through, but it DOES really give a huuuge boost in understanding and learning from it.

Playing around with different test, I tent to get INFJ and INFP. Hearing this description I see that I was growing in an INFJ environment. I was told to fit in, constantly bashed if I wanted something for myself, when that won't make happy the people around me, constantly being criticized and I hated that! But when I moved out, I naturally started setting boundaries, saying no, being compassionate. And I do feel as an INFP, but sometimes I might act a certain INFJ way.

I've set boundaries by saying no to this situation that could've been an unhealthy relationship and after watching the video I could finally understand why and how I'm prepared to fully embrace who I am and stand for myself. I didn't even know what I was doing, but it's nice hearing that what I've done has somehow helped me to better myself and my Fe. Thank you so much!!

Wow, this gave me both tears and laughter! And a lot of insight to why I do certain things.... Really awesome, THANK YOU ! 🙏

Enfp here it warmed my heart to watch this video especially the show love part infjs are the best!

Thanks so much for this video, it has spoken a lot to me, especially the fact that as an INFJ, I need to not allow my accuracy process to steal my happiness, that to participate and 'change the world', i need to set clear boundaries for myself and others. I must say, being married to an ENTJ has helped me to establish my boundaries ^-^ Not that the hubby has been overly bossy (haha), on the contrary, his encouragement and unwavering loyalty (cute and weird, considering he tends to be more 'bossy' to others except me) has ushered me to move forward to learn more about myself ^-^ Over the last two years since i was 'diagnosed' as an INFJ, I have started to feel more 'normal' to my own self. I truly thought there was something 'seriously wrong with me', but through various online resources and materials, I believe I have been slowly and steadily 'maturing'. I really appreciated this video and your website, thanks for helping me to learn more about myself and teaching me how to deal with...me! ^-^

“Where To Go From Here” - I thought this section was a bit odd, because many of the biggest issues I’ve had as an INFJ is feeling the need to help *everyone else*. People seem to naturally use INFJs as personal therapists, and in our need to seek harmony and care for others, we can harm ourselves trying to meet everyone else’s needs - emotionally, mentally, and physically. I realize that boundaries were discussed, but this section seems to go back on that.

it's interesting to note that while I have to set boundaries and have harmony in my relationships with others I also don't want to end up letting the 10 year old take over and completely shut everyone out or give up on everyone (which I sometimes end up doing). I guess it is all about balance...learning to say yes to quality relationships and knowing when to say no to toxic relationships (not letting people use your need to help others to their advantage and your disadvantage) in other words not letting people walk all over you because of the extraverted feeling you have--->which then leads to betrayal and trust issues. It is difficult to have the right balance of people in your life and not feel run down and broken sometimes when a relationship backfires(like a good friendship, I am not even talking about romance as that is far out even more narrow and difficult) So important for us to be noticed and appreciated but not be the center of attention. It sucks when no one checks in. So you don't want to bother anyone even though it bothers you why there is such a lack of interest and why no one seems to care how you are doing. I don't like it when people pick at me, like ask me how I feel or what I am doing without the intention of actually caring about my response. I would rather someone ask me if I might want to join them for coffee or go on a nature hike than ask me what I am up to and how my life is going. I have only a few people with who I am really open with and allow them to know how I really am feeling and thinking and what is going on with me, because even though I am a good listener, I like to know that someone cares about my response and is able to listen to me as well. That's why the circle of people I trust and really have strong relationships with is very small (I can literally count it on one hand) But I don't want to shut out other people and deny friendships, I am always open to them so long as people want me to be there and there is a mutual understanding, like I know that my presence really is required and desired then I put the effort into going and spending time with others, only when I know for sure that I feel included and people really care about me being there. If not, I end up slowly cutting people out of my life and searching for others with whom I can build a good friendship. Sometimes, I feel like giving up and shutting myself out (10 yr old taking over there I guess) In my life only a few people stay and have stayed with me. Most people end up passing through

First time watching. Being looking for something like this, too help me understand my personality. INTJ. Please keep teaching how INTJ process information , and retrieve information.

I am INFJ and hear me roar!!! I understand everything that your talking about and I've conquered all of these external and internal conflicts with God showing me who I am in him. It is the misconception that we judge ppl but we do not ... ppl judge themselves. Because we are intuitive we pick up what ppl don't say. We know what's going choose not to comment. Most ppl have wanted me to participate in whatever foolishness that they are currently participating in when I decline they feel like I judge them. I use to put myself on the back burner for others comfort but when I overstood that there comfort was not my responsibility it freed me. I will still help you but I will not let you mistreated me. I will no longer sugar coat shit so don't ask me my opinion because I will not lie to you to save your feelings. I will not be mean or nasty but I will be direct. The best advice I can give to a fellow INFJ is set some goals. The way our mind thinks you will examine all the parts and make them work to reach your goals. When parts (ppl) do not reciprocate the same that you give out let it go with no remorse. Be unapologetically you. With no explanation. You all so hungry for someone to understand you did you once ask yourself why do they want to know? I don't want anyone to overstand how I think. because knowledge is power and I am not interested in giving mine away. I now value my oddities because it gives me an edge over others. I overstand myself and other. The world is my oyster and I am the Pearl. Like I said I am INFJ with a purpose and plan. I run the show hear me ROAR!!!

That was really HANDY, I can say so!! Thanks for sharing this, I'm getting out of my shell, as a matter effect I tend to constantly struggle stooding out from peopple, maybe I just grew up and tried being like others in order to achieve "success", and I'm not really happy by being average mediocre, from now on I have to channel my wills of enlightenment, even though I have to make also my parents stop concearning about my mental health and overcame my inner sabotoure!! Why do we have to think about every little thing all the time, this perfectionism that I'm overthinking prevents me from being open to the world or even just put out there what I really see, concerning the not acceptance of the ones I know, yet I have to do it soon!! P.S. it's really good to know I'm not alone in this world of dreaming, it's a good signal, after all what I always wanted was never money neither popularity, my goal was to be happy and make peopple happy too! Regards, Will

There is no love of fear, only when love is feared. For fear is loved for those who fear it.

I do work on myself everyday and it is amazing. I found myself being critical of someone just because they were quiet around me and not others. I caught myself one day and didn't know how to stop the critical thoughts so I began telling myself, I like so and so, and it worked. My life has improved tremendously and I get more smiles .

Thanks guys! Some of the best insight I've heard yet. Enjoyed this thoroughly.

When you said harmony, I thought of the feeling in my chest I’ve always either been seeking after or thriving from. Inner peace in my heart. A lack of this creates a deep void and isolation. A bounty of this creates… well, it creates magic. So thank you. I’m so tired of thinking for 4 years. Harmony is the goal

Thank you for the video. Insightful. You come across as a great presenter and your voice sounds perfect for radio.

What is all the sudden interest in INFJs that I am seeing lately? On Pinterest and now on KZfaq without my searching for them. If we are so rare, what is this? It feels like I am being hunted! "How to spot an INFJ." WOW, really? Having been victimized by a couple of narcissistic people in my past, this is starting to turn me into a recluse!

Thank God I finally see this channel. This will be great help for me. I am an INFJ. These are true, so true.

Sorry, I just had another question after a bit more reflection over the past few days-and this might be a stupid question, but here goes... Does the self-loathing and wallowing that an INFJ can fall victim to _always_ revolve around feeling misunderstood? or is that just what is found a majority of the time? The reason I ask, is because typically when I get that way, it feels more like an overwhelming sense of worthlessness, brokenness, and dis-belonging. The feelings always center around something being wrong with me, not anyone else. I don't wish to myself that they could understand me; I wish to myself that I could fix whatever it is that is wrong with me. I can remember feeling that ever since I was a child... but perhaps these feelings are just symptoms which are rooted in feeling misunderstood? Maybe I am feeling that people are capable of it, and deliberately choosing not to because they find me lacking, and so maybe that is why the other feelings are the overwhelming ones? I'm just not certain. Whenever I ask myself these questions, I can never be certain if what I am thinking is a twisted perception, or the truth. I'm sorry again, I hope this isn't _too_ whiny and pathetic looking. -.-

Thank you so much. This made me cry. I may even sign up to your programme. 😊

Man this was so nice and spot on. As an INFJ guy this was helpful and fantastic to listen to!

Wow this truly amazed me at how accurate it was.

Regarding your question, how I as an infj am withdrawn and hesitant to vulnerability, it's been an obstacle in my life since I was in elementary school. I made two special friends in elementary school (one in 1st and the other in 2nd). In middle and high school, sure I made friends but they were more....acquaintances than anything else. Passing, fleeting, temporary relationships. I went through every grade with those two friends from elementary school to graduation. Now, at 23 years old, I don't have them as my friends anymore. One of them moved to Virginia so we don't talk, and we didn't have as strong of a relationship as the other friend anyways. The other friend, however, we got into an argument probably about 3 or 4 months ago, and haven't talked since. When I say I would take a bullet for this girl, that's coming from a very deep part of me. But, now, I don't have anyone. That's.....special like that. I've always been socially withdrawn. Not that I don't socialize, but I over analyze everything and everyone (including myself) to the point where I'm not...well....vulnerable for friendships to form like that. I always considered myself picky. But now, I'm not sure what I can do to be less...defensive I guess? Any tips will help. I've been looking into my personality type in depth for the last couple months, even bought a book that's really related to me. Please help, I crave special relationships lol.

Excellent video. I can relate to everything stated here, but what really resonates with me is that idea of boundary setting. I do always want everyone else to be happy and working in harmony, but it is all too easy to get caught in that cycle of approval/disapproval that you mentioned. I used to almost never say no to anyone and if I did, I would feel guilty for days afterward. I would always put myself and my own needs dead last, lest I was being "selfish". I am trying to be better with setting those boundaries now (though it's still hard) because I have realized that I cannot help anyone else if I am not healthy myself. It's like you have said before about getting everyone's needs met; I do count as a subset of everyone. Thank you for producing media like this, to help people better understand who they are and how to navigate through the outside world.

Wow it is so impressive how accurate this podcast is. I am an INFJ and everything that is being shared is so true. About picking up and absorbing emotions and the ability to read the room (so to speak) understanding other people’s emotions and thoughts. I am very spiritual and intuitive which makes it hard because I often attract ‘broke birds’ (aka people who have had traumas and emotional pains) which openly reveal this to me and when I take-in this information with empathy and spiritual assessment to direct them to understand their past event, I often see them walk away happier and relieved from their burden, which they have carried for some time.. but it’s hard to get rid of the spiritual attachment/negative/painful energy that I absorb from the person. This makes it hard to maintain a normal life because if affects how we feel and our energy level drains. Be cause when we take someone’s pain away, we fill those gaps with spiritual love and understanding in energy form. This is what let’s their brain trigger to positive emotions for happy dopamine and other hormones to activate along with other areas of the cranial lobe. It’s all done through energy! It’s amazing but it can feel like a curse because often I need to pray and meditate this negative energy to back into the universe in a way it doesn’t go into people in my environment. I’ve been doing this as a child which is why I thought about being a psychologist, now I’m in my 30’s and I started multiple businesses and I’m also a reiki transcendence master. Which took many years to learn since it was impossible to find someone to teach me these skills and how to use the abilities I have because there are many who are not right in their teachings and are not qualified to teach me of what they cannot accurately do themselves. But it’s been a blessing to see people transform their lives and bloom into beautiful individuals by letting go of their pain and misunderstandings. It’s impossible to do it correctly without the spiritual aspect because Devine energy plays a HUGE role in giving good energy and taking their bad energy in a healthy way. But I always feel misunderstood especially as this gift evolves, I had to learn to be content being alone and misunderstood because it feels like I’m on a life mission. Since I was a child I thought everyone saw the world the way I perceived it and life showed me as I got older it’s not the case. I found There are other abilities infj’s as myself can do but I am not sure if it’s a spiritual gift or an INFJ ability because we can help lead people into spiritual awakening to meet their higher self in Earth form. Our Devine energy allows people to feel comfortable by reaching a hypnotic state of mind (which makes people feel like their on drugs when they’re around me from the feedback I have received), where we can almost see into their souls deepest burdens and pull out those wounds to discuss on the surface. It sounds painful and maybe invasive but it happens so quick and naturally, to those whom I have helped it has been a blessing for them to recognise there was something holding them back from their own spiritual awakening -and they could never figure it out in their own and understand it- so God has put people like these on my path to help them release this pain to me so I can reveal it to my Heavenly Father (once our session is over through intense prayer and meditation) which is how it leave ME and releases them. It’s almost like unlocking a demons a person carries and taking it from them and then giving it to the Strongest One (God) who knows what to do with it because We certainly do not want to be stuck with other peoples demonds. That’s when unexplainable bad things happen which it obvious to me but to others they do not recognise what happened to them. Why they change in awful ways or become attracted to corrupted forms of entertainment. I feel like I’m a complicated version of INfJ because of the spiritual abilities God has given me but it’s why I created reikitransference.com which is being open to the public March 22, 2022. I often take referrals but now I see how it has positively impacted people I want to welcome anyone who desires to transfer their life and experience life through a spiritual awakening. This is the kind of healing I found most affective for those who seek a strong psychologist for help. Spiritual and quantum energy healing can also help people suffering from biological diseases and failing lifestyles that attract painful problems where a person is repeating cycles of drained energy. I often help break those cycles in unique ways in the name of God. This is his path for me, to help put people on their correct path to life life to the fullest. -I’m so grateful to you guys and this amazing podcast!! Wow I struggled many years to put these abilities to words and this is soooo 💯💯💯 on point. You guys are a blessing in this world and I strongly believe you will always be remembered and appreciated in the depth of our hearts and existence.

I would like to take the personality test that you mentioned. It all makes sense. I am astonished.

This is truly helpful for I'm seeking personal growth. It makes sense & highly relatable. When I say I'm more of a proactive realist lately than a foolish idealist before but still have a healthy optimism & I want more 'me time'. It's just I'm setting more boundaries with myself. I reached a tipping point lately. I'm into science yet I gravitate towards philosophy, spirituality and visual arts. I'm also a very athletic person.

Thank you for the info on this video. I like being an infj because I like that it's a never-ending conversation with yourself. I'm not very lonely and I can think through situations that are tough. I do let accuracy ruin certain parts of me when I stay inside instead of making meaningful relationships with other humans. I am very introverted in a way and I don't have very many friends. I will use this video to keep growing as person.

I can relate with this so much. I took the test and end up being an INTP. The Ti child is so cold and distant making me defensive toward people I love. And I stuck in that Ti child for years, I felt misunderstood and lonely. This vid show this so well. When u said set boundaries.. say no to other ppl, I was like “danggg that’s hard” but I will take my lesson. I’ll try set the boundaries and stand for myself. Thank u so much for the info.

Great video and companion posting on Facebook site. I've been reading on this topic for many years, and doubt often if I know my type, but your comment, knowing what I feel is not my strong suit, is still my biggest challenge. I often need to talk this out with a friend who is not like me, just to hear where I am shortchanging myself. In the past, I have tended to disapprove and distance myself, kind of all or nothing. I like the approach of counting myself as one who also needs to be made happy too. Takes time to pause to name it, and then communicate what I need and work out a better arrangement, but I agree it is so worth it. I just feel we all benefit a variety of relationships. Thanks for the confirmation that I am headed in the right direction. But why do we often get paired with sensing types? Like navigators for the sensing blind spot? It is really a godsend to find like minded friends to talk with.

Following what this video taught me had gotten me into an enlightened state in about a week.

As an INFJ so much of this is spot on for me and I really feel this video was exactly what I needed to reboot out of my Ti...lol...an INFJ living a personal growth video. 😂. But, I'm curious...I can't relate at all to the smothering type...I've always been more cold and distant with a paradoxical ability to be completely open and honest about my life with most people. I think this is more of a quest to understand myself as I have only been practicing true vulnerability as of late, but anyway, I'm just very curious why I've never experienced what you describe as smothering behavior or needing to know where someone is. Etc. Btw, love you guys. You feed my psych/Myers Briggs addiction with very legit information :)

This is the best INFJ video I've ever seen.....you got a new sub in me!!! 😃😃

Totally like that ! My Ti prejudge people all the time , tries to problem solve like crazy , will read minds / see the future and come to a negative conclusion all the time . So what I'm saying it's totally an underdeveloped immature defensive strategy . It's trying to keep me safe by isolating me from potential threats in relationships . It's looking for catastrophes to be avoided .

I found the comment about Ti, accuracy, being a pitfall for INFJ's to be very interesting. Often I use my function of introverted thinking to "come to the rescue" and help me understand the reasons why something is painful for me. But I agree that it can pull me away from people, and I've definitely seen it cause judgement in my life. Particularly in instances of great emotional hurt, I've seen this Ti function cast judgement on the person themselves, rather than the actions of that person. I fall into the Ni/Ti subtype of INFJ, so I sometimes find my Fe/Se functions to be underdeveloped. I'm definitely working on that though!

Thank you. Great video. I know lately I’ve been feeling like I don’t fit in anywhere and like the friends I reach out to just don’t reciprocate or call me back. I begin to feel unloved and why don’t these so called friends like me. I am isolating however I am also recovering from surgery. I feel safe and protected in my little home. So weird. Thank goodness for you tube. Fascinating how many INFJ have their own you tube channels. Something to think about. I do want to help others and create Harmony. Merry Christmas 🎄

This is great info for someone in younger years and I wish this info was available to me when I was younger, then as well as my parents. Damage is done and trust for me is way too important to me at this point for improvement and not easy to change. Great video, thank you for sharing.

I can see how what you said about strengthening your boundaries is true. It shows that you value yourself which is empowering and good for a self critical INFJ. Some samples would help make understanding these functions clearer. Thank you.

I enjoy having everything 100% finished no matter the situation so one thing I’m learning is to be patient with whatever I do if I want 100% of anything.

Not connecting with others for fear of how I’ll be perceived ❤

I hate being vulnerable so I never open up. I only let others know what I believe they have earned through trust, but I like it that way. It keeps me in control of the situation and keeps me protected 🏌🏾‍♂️

wow - while i get the Harmony process as it applies looking outward toward others , i've never thought about turning it in on myself the way it's described here. It's a whole new way to think about it for me. And it addresses boundaries - i've been coming across that topic lately. It also describes accuracy in a different way than i've thought of before. I'm going to have to wrap my head around that more, but it's a different perspective and might help me process some things in a new way. Great video. Thanks

Thank you, Joel. I'm Norm and that's my name too! hehe. I have taken in this message as my first contact with you. I like what you are saying. It makes sense and, maybe more impacting to me, it FEELS right. My heart was wide open and welcoming of your message. And I got no argument. Thank you again. I've subscribed to your channel and look forward to notification of future releases from you. Bless you and All the Love to You.

My 10-year thinking accuracy has been a life-long challenge.

I almost always say yes. I struggle with saying no at times

Being infj is very hard, people influence me so hard to change going with the flow, while I want to be true with myself and accept myself who im. Im not weird, im not overdramatic, im not the one making constant the problems, im not the one that doesn't want to be Cooperative. People sometimes make the worse out of me because they dont understand me, there are some that try to understand and some that just want you fully changed. To all my infjs where ever you are, you are amazingly. We are caring, passionated, understandable creatures, we want to make harmony where nobody can see. We want to bring the good out of everyone and show the positivity of the world, dont let people bring you down to the worst state and let your nature waste. I know its difficult to give up on people but sometimes we need to care for ourselves, to care for people that are worthy of our time.

Truly useful video! Thank you!

Tolkien had the INFJ in mind when he wrote his Elven characters (along with other types like INTJ, INTP) -in the Silmarillion they were made from the music of Harmony that created the Universe.

You're communicating segment on how Harmony answers Do you Love me was ON POINT... Thank you for this content... And I definitely look forward to following yall on Facebook (Adrian Belgrave different picture for myself)

I've been working with my therapist to actually become more vulnerable ,not close myself off and developing boundaries. It's hard but I'm definitely becoming a more balanced, happier INFJ

"As INFJ, your mind is fundamentaly wired differently from other personnalities" Of course it is ! As the 15 others personnality types wirings are different from each others. Otherwise, 99% of the population would share the exact same personnality ...

WONDERFUL WORK ! Thumbs Up Personality Hacker !

This is very accurate, the love-thing. Much more than the INFP, INTP and ENTP I've also checked out.

What a great video. I'm having a terrible week . I'm a failure with boundaries . Just yesterday for the first time ever , I told a very needy friend that I was sorry I have not been chatty and that I am going through a thing . Even today she's still telling me what's wrong in HER life . I try to have empathy because she is schizophrenic. I'm not answering today . The part on love and it can be smothering , wow . My ex boyfriend, actually my longest relationship ever is very observant . He once told me that he thinks my love is too big and overwhelming for people . He said probably nobody really deserves me and don't feel like they can live up to the way I love . I HAVE about 99% become a stay in . I lose relationships because friends ask me to do things and I rarely do . The only one who doesn't give up and asks me every week if I would like to go out to eat is my mother . I only have boundaries with two people and that is because they have personality disorders that make them abusive . It's the only way to keep my sanity mostly intact . Thank you for this video.

awesome job joel!!

I find it strange as a married mother of two with no real close friends because since I can remember, I have been an introvert outside of school and work. I can only lightly socialize for small periods of time. Depending on the conversation, or activity it can emotionally and physically exhaust me especially if they are extremely extroverted. I prefer time with my husband and kids or alone. I do adjust socially and can be the life of the party (with enough alcohol) lol. I have a problem setting boundaries with personalities I want to help or are troubled with health issues. I had to ask a roommate to move out of our home because she constantly crossed boundaries in hopes to replace what family (she and her son) she did not have. She was also on permenant disability, major abandonment issues and going through a divorce. I was guilted into a lot of things when I did not want to do them because she wanted to give her son the family he never had. The final straw was when she pushed to combine our sons bday parties. I told her I had no problem attending his and they can come to my son's. Anyway, I don't like my kindness to be taken advantage of. People exhaust me. :(

So informative, and very true of my style of living.

Super super helpful. Thank you ❤

This is great! Really great information :)

a million thanks for this video.

I feel empowered , as no one understands me. I understand them and it is ok.

You have a new fan!! Think you Sir!!

How interesting... I like the car analogy using that back seat “10 yr old Accuracy/Logic” made more sense than I’ve heard on this explanation before. After childhood maltreatment it contributed greatly to many decisions with only a black & white perspective with safety as a top priority. Meeting God and giving it all to Him was an instant relief and gradual healing process that started with an INTP son (whose logic surpassed mine at what 4 or 5 years old?) and continued on when becoming caregiver to mom (ISFJ) with TBI and grandmother (ISTP) with TIA’s and making it ALL work with many boundaries... I am well-practiced in NO and do not stay in bad relationships, but isolation and obligations do take a toll on my friendships that’s what I’m working on now.

This is such a wonderful program. This is so constructively critical in it's advisory content. It should definitely be imperatively considered for anyone in general, especially types like myself; and any other INFJs. I'm grateful that it's out there.

...I've read alot and heard alot and observed many regarding everything "INFJ", ...the 1st 6 min is pretty dope. I can't totally digest the entire car model in this moment but I am definately liking this extremely visual add to explaining processing. Specifically with a model most tend to have done or can relate to.

Well done! Thank you 🙏🏼

10 year old: I study psychology for fun and psychoanalyze everyone I meet before they have a chance to come too close and hurt me with whatever is wrong. When I create boundaries, it's true I relax. But before I did that, I used peoples' diagnoses to keep them at bay and feel in control, while at the same time earning their admiration and being useful to them.