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Infps finding a partner: Nope Infps imagining themselves with their ideal partner: Yes

My biggest problem is that I'm more in love with the idea of being in a relationship than ACTUALLY being in a relationship.

1. Impatient for real love. 2. Not showing enough emotions. 3. Worried about being judged, but its about connection. 4. Not asking enough questions. 5. Stuck in emotions from the past. 6. Rejecting too quick. 7. Not taking advice. 8. Down on yourself. 9. Getting bored easily. 10. Accept yourself and your weirdness.

when he said, "INFPs are not naturally the kind of people who are... leading a conversation... asking a bunch of questions... trying to dig deep into the other person... INFPs are just like, 'I feel like that might annoy them.'", that hit me REALLY hard

"INFP's are great listeners until you try to give them advice, then they just like turn that off" lol he got me

INFP: Having high expectations of people and higher expectations of themselves.

As an INFP: I’ll add another. 11: Stop trying to please the other person all the time. We often want to project the most pleasing image of ourselves possible so we can be liked, and we obsessively internalize every perceived change in tone and believe we’re hurting or disappointing someone when we’re not. What we need to realize is that other people don’t necessarily WANT a perfect person who always says the right thing; they want a unique person they can invest themselves in. Our flaws and insecurities and awkward moments are okay and natural; everybody has them, not just us. So be yourself. If they’re right for us, they’ll accept us. We can’t please everybody.

Being an INFP and wanting to find a date like: "I deserve someone i can love." and "They deserve better than me..."

INFPs are terrified of judgment because, internally, we are extremely judgmental and constantly hide it 😅

Frank James: makes a video about INFPs The sponsor: a therapist

“My alone feels so good, I’ll only have you if you’re sweeter than my solitude”

“Reality isn’t your strong suite” Yeah, never was a big fan of reality. Also, social distancing comes naturally to this infp.

I'm an unhealthy INFP and I find it unethical to enter a relationship without taking care of myself first.

As an INFP I read a quote from a movie and it stuck in my head.. “ that is your problem, you don’t wanna be in love , you wanna be in love in a movie “ 😭

Me, a happily married INFP, watching this, still amazed that I made it here. Still amazed that my spouse loves me, despite how much I disappoint them by being insane, forgetful, and super emotional. Only by the grace of God and more courage than I’ve ever used for anything else in my life! 😅😵‍💫

Me, INFP: “I think I’m ready to look for a boyfriend” * Sees a really cute guy. Hides in the corner *

FJ: "Number one reason you're still single INFP is" Me: because I never leave my house? FJ: "Because you want a deep love " Me: 😯oh...

fictional characters can give me assurance of no betrayal

I am an INFP And ... I am single because: I am afraid of REJECTION I OVERTHINK too much I most of the time suffer with SOCIAL ANXIETY I don't think I am capable of being loved. I have very very Low CONFIDENCE I think I am not charming enough for a girl. And many more .

INFPs who arent single how does it feel like to be God’s favorite

Sometimes I think I’m in love with someone however I’m only in love with idea of the person

The pain arrives when you actually find yourself good with a person and you start to think about them a lot but then you realize that for them isn't the same, so you are forced to repress your feelings because you don't want them to feel awkward about you...from a certified INFP

I'm an older INFP and all of these things were true for me at one time. My problem was always that I jumped into relationships too quickly, the whole "all or nothing" mentality. These days I see being "weird" as one of my strengths, and the interesting thing is that men seem to initially find it attractive but then seem to decide they want a woman who might be a bit more boring, but who is more practical. Which is fine, because that's not me, and I will never again try to force myself into a more practical mode!

“INFP fantasies a perfect relationship” Me: *imagine having a relationship with my celebrity crush*

There's actually a whole community of people just like me here in the comments I've never felt so understood 😩

"you're weird" I felt that...

I'm here as an ENFJ trying to get a better understanding of a girl I've started seeing who is an INFP. Apparently our personality types are supposed to be a good mix so I'm trying to make an effort to make her feel as comfortable as possible, especially since she seems to have low self esteem when it comes to her appearance, intellectually it's a different matter. Personally I think she's adorable in every sense of the word

I feel like we’re just walking contradictions lol. We need validation but absolutely hate attention. We are some of the most selfless people but at the same time can’t get out of our own world and don’t really think about others feelings. Or this is just me being crazy

FJ: "Let's be realistic." Me, an INFP: I know you didn't just throw the 'R' word at me.

Everything hurts being alone... I want to share my universe with someone, but IT's so hard.

As an infp, the "lose interest easily" is my biggest problem. Like, i start like an person so i try make the person like me, but when the person stars like me I just "eww" and fell bad for making a person fell in this way :(

INFP: want a relationship but like they're own company the best

"you're too quick to reject people" HAHAHAHAHAHA I feel so attacked!

I've just realized I'll be single forever K

I recently did a personality test just to see and got INFP. Figured I’d do some research on it and it all makes sense. I’m happy I’m not the only weird one that’s still single that understands these point lol

me: omg i want a boyfriend so baddddd guy: hi me: ew go away

1. 1:30 you want a deep love and you're too impatient to get it 2. 2:53 you don't show enough of yourself 3. 4:20 you're too worried about what others think of you 4. 5:40 you don't ask enough questions 5. 6:50 you can't move on from a past relationship or fantasy 6. 8:28 you're too quick to reject people 7. 9:50 you don't like taking others' suggestions/advice 8. 10:55 you get too down on yourself 9. 13:18 you don't like small talk 10. 14:43 you're weird and that's ok :)

30 yr old INFP, still single. This rings true and it’s funny looking back at all of my relationships. I’m guilty of all these things. I also notice I will sabotage a relationship or cut myself off from them suddenly because I fear I’ll be rejected by not only the person I’m dating, but their family as well. I’m an actor and a writer, which fits my INFP personality, but at the same time I fear not being good enough for someone’s daughter. My siblings are doctors, lawyers, and dentists, and here I am still wondering how I’m going to support someone else, let alone myself? So to avoid that pressure and expectation I just jump ship in the relationship before it gets any more serious, or I date people who don’t have the best father figures because I feel like there isn’t an expectation to meet.

It’s telling how many INFP’s like myself that are commenting do not use their picture for their profile pic, lol. It took me forever to learn it’s ok to just take a date to a yogurt shop sometimes. I always felt like the date had to be elaborate or it was useless. I scared many girls away in the early stages. At least I rarely got stuck in 20 questions mode. After 4 - 5 questions about work and hobbies I would have to go deep and ask questions like, “What gives you purpose and meaning in life?” At least that is a good trait in building relationships. Many women seem to appreciate that line of questioning more.

2:03 "they don't do things halfway, right" My unfinished projects: "am I a joke to you?"

When you're an INFP in your twenties who's never, ever been in a relationship. ;-;

it feels like everytime i like someone i like the thought of them more than them themselves

Notes: 1. Impatient for real love. You want to be amazed, but sometimes you need to wait a bit, to feel it. 2. Not showing enough emotions. Express my feelings because I am an introvert, fake being extroverted to make people relate to you, even if it feels silly 3. Worried about being judged, but it's about connection. INFPs feel like everyone is watching them, amplified spotlight effect, but most people dont care. Not everyone is a match, dont be afraid to be judged and rejected. 4. Not asking enough questions. Force me to ask questions, even if it seems silly. It's about showing interest. If you don't do it, it seems like you don't care. "I value what is happening in your life" 5. Stuck in emotions from the past, in past relationships or a fantasy of the perfect relationship. Expectations shouldn't be based on past/imagination, but on reality. Focus on the facts and don't compare it to other people / relationships 6. Rejecting too quick. Some dates or just bad, give them a chance. Maybe you didn't now you liked this particular kind of person. Maybe your date just had a bad day. If you don't feel the high yet, give it time. 7. Not taking advice. INFPs know themselves very well, and may be overconfident in their opinion about things. We are great listeners, except when someone tries to give us advice. Just give it a chance, if someone gives you advice. 8. Beating down on yourself. INFPs don't respond well to other people trying to pull them out of a slump. Think: What is my ultimate value, what do I really want? You need to stop beating yourself down, and start being true to your values/words. People feel when you are down, it is not a sexy look. Tell yourself: I don't need the validation, I am good, and I got it together. 9. Getting bored easily. We want romance, high emotional state, want to feel deeply. But first dates can be boring. INFPs are averse to mundane things like small talk. But it's okay to have some small talk, and some meh first dates. Think: I am getting to know people, I am just enjoying my life and having an adventure. 10. Accept yourself and your weirdness. xNFx are particular weird, we have to access who we are. We need to find someone who is also weird, or someone that likes our weirdness, someone that our opposite (I am hoping for an ENFJ ;D). We struggle with reality and think people don't get us. Dating sucks, it's okay, one day you will find the right person. This is based on the comment of @Suleiman Beshir , but I added more important information. Have a great day.

My problem is that I listen to the other person's problems, no problem, but if I say anything about my own feelings, immediately afterwards I regret it. And then it's a step forward, ten backwards.

Why me, an INFP, is single: 1. I suck. 2. Humans suck. 3. Fictional characters are better.

The biggest thing that helped me: Keep falling in love with yourself. Every day. You should always be the main character in your story. Once you master that, healthy relationships fall into place. (I say this with the knowledge that INFPs typically idealise their partner and magnify them in their worldview, and can become untethered from their true selves).

'INFPs are great listeners, except when somebody tries to give them advice. Then they just sort of turn that off.' That made me laugh hard, because it's so incredibly true...

INFP me: I want to be seen, truly seen... but I don't want to be looked at. I want deep conversations... but without having to speak. I want to see the world... but I also tire easily so maybe let's not leave the house today. You catch my drift? It's easier to daydream about 'the one' and just live there instead. I'm glad I found this channel. I thought it was only comedy sketches at first, but then found the 'armchair Frank' videos - thinking they'd just be parodies, but they turned out to be so real and honest instead; they've given me some much-needed comfort somehow. Now I can pretend to have deep conversations with FJ, without having to talk. Really, thanks for your content and for being so genuine. Hope you never delete the older videos.

I have no trouble dating, I'm in a happy imaginary relationship with that one guy I saw once on the bus but never talked to

As an INFP may be these are the reasons why I don't fall in love easily but when I do I fall hard and deeply. I aim for relationship where both of us are like totally invested in each other.

“Infps feel deeply but they don’t feel the need to show it.” Yup definitely me

Me an INFP seeing the title: iS tHiS aN aTtaCk??

Me, an INFP with a boyfriend FJ: INFP, WHY ARE U STILL SINGLE Me: likes video

yeah im an infp and I spent my life single. but I haven't given up, part of the romantic dream. But you gave out some great tips

When INFP verbalizes, people found it too much and got scared....

I'm a confident INFP when i'm single. When someone starts being nice to me, confiwhat? 😭

my problem is that i feel like no one cares enough to know about how i feel inside, I'm always showing a different side of me to people because i know they don't want to hear about what i feel in a certain situation. i listen to my friends all the time but when it comes to me, they seem like they're not interested and I don't wanna burden them. so i just deal with everything alone to the point i talk to my surroundings more than my family or friends.

The part about first dates is sooo spot on 📌📌. I really do hate small talks or mundane activities. Or people that just "exist" in life without actually "living".

“You don’t know what’s gonna happen 5 minutes from now, let alone the rest of your life” just hit hard.

When you have to actually talk to people to get into a relationship Me as an INFP: my social anxiety could neverrrr

"You can't move on from a fantasy of the perfect relationship" I'm feeling attacked. Leave me and my daydreams alone 😂

Frank, you have no idea how much your video helped me in getting to acknowledge my flaws and ways to improve it. Your advice not only improved my current relationships with my boyfriend and best friends but also helped me meeting new people too. Thank you!! I am so much happier now and I grew so much as a person.

I think a lot of infps don't really enjoy the idea of one night stands or hook up culture, so when they find both that, and actually pursuing somebody with the intention of being in a relationship with them difficult the headache is mind numbing.

I didn’t know INFP’s felt like people are always watching them. I feel this all the time and it gives me anxiety. I’m glad I’m not alone. 😭

Me when watching this video be like: *nod, nod, nod, cry, nod, nod, cry, cry, nod, nod, cry, nod, cry, nod* :))))))

This is very relatable 😅🙈 coz when i told the girl that i loved her, she said “you’re not in love with me, you’re in love with idea of being in love with me” that hit hard and never really got up since lol

As an INFP(-t), I really struggle with having these fantasies of how the perfect relationship and partner would be. Like I want to date someone who I have a strong emotional connection with, and have a relationship similar to a very close friendship, that's wholesome and cute and romantic. Oh yeah, and as an asexual person, I don't want intimacy... I need someone who'll actually understand me... I honestly don't even know if that's possible bc I don't even understand myself. I'm so weird and contradicting, and I have so many flaws and unattractive parts of my personality that would drive people away from me. For example, I can be extremely obsessive over things and people I like, and if I had a crush on someone, I'd probably be seen as clingy, and care way too much about them. I'm the sorta person who neglects my own needs for others, always putting other people first. I always see the good in other people and the bad in myself. And I'd constantly give people chances and end up getting hurt. And my standards are just so high... and despite being a very open-minded, non-judgemental person, whenever anyone is insensitive to me or my feelings I really get put off... and then I make the assumption that I'll never find anyone real in this world because they're all horny and insensitive which is... the opposite of what I want... but it doesn't make sense, it would make me a hypocrite to not give them a chance, like what this is so contradicting lol I don't understand myself... oh yeah and, I'm always fricking daydreaming about fictional characters rather than real people. I believe I've only had crushes on like 3 people irl, 2 of which I lost feelings for after realising that they were too insensitive for me... the third is an old friend I hadn't seen for a while so I'll have to get to know them better bc it's been so long... but I know I like them because I've been thinking about them a lot... and I feel like such a kid too, I turned 17 a few days ago yet here I am, obviously thinking in a very immature way, not wanting to grow up, not wanting things to change... yeah, I'm gonna stop now, it's not like anyone's reading this rant, if you are I'M SORRY LOL I FEEL BAD BYE-

“Reality is not your strong suit” WHY YOU GOTTA CALL ME OUT LIKE THAT

Frank: "You don't show enough of yourself" Me, an insecure INFP: "Why would anyone in my relationships want to know things about me? I'm not that interesting..."

For me I feel like my standards are set so high and I refuse to lower them for anyone I end up being alone. and whilst I know it's unrealistic at the same time it feels like unless a person is this certain way that I've made up in my mind then I rather be alone anyways because I'm not going to love them and be happy.. It's honestly strange.

I'm INFP too but I've grown very self aware over the years and have adapted to all these tendencies that I naturally have. I mean to say I couldn't relate with a lot of the negative points that were said here. Like I do want the romance and high emotion and would love to have the "love at first sight" kind of thing happen where I'm very invested from the start but I know that this is not what real life is like. That happens but it's very rare. I'm fine with mundane stuff as long as I know I have a partner to trust.

"why you still single, infp?" because i have this idealistic romance on my head and i can't get over it

youtube recommended: “INFP, why you’re single” i feel attacked also everything he said was pretty accurate tho

This kinda ties into the 9th point: as an INFP, I prefer longing for something than having something, including a relationship both in general and to a specific person. Because once you have something, you start to realize how imperfect, how shallow it is compared to what you had imagined. And so you start longing for something more, something deeper.

He's like talking directly to me... Like he sees through me... He described me thoroughly! Somehow I feel like crying while he said all those things.. However these are my conditions as INFP... 1. I have a very strict family who forbid me to find men for dating... 2. I was told by a boy when I was in college "NO GUY WILL LIKE YOU... YOU'RE WEIRD"......... Do you know how that statement gave an impact to me as an INFP? From then on I always believe nobody will like me... 3. Tried to have relationship with some people... I tried my best to change myself for them... Scared what that boy told me to be true... I let all my ex boyfriends to control me... I let them violated me inside out... Physically... Emotionally... Mentally... Financially... Those were the darkest moments in my life... 3. Those dark moments were 11 years ago... After that I told myself not to trust anymore men... I don't wanna be violated again... I scared I won't be strong enough to hold my ground and protect myself... My family said they actually worried about me since I'm too open minded... 4. Now... I tried another method of finding a partner... Currently I'm trying to use a matchmaking programme which I think is more trusted and reliable... I hope... I can give another chance to myself...

"you want deep love but you're impatient to get it" THAT'S JUST THE FIRST AND IT HIT CLOSE TO HOME THERE

We DETEST small talk. Couldn’t have emphasized it better myself lmao

counter-point to #1 is the exact opposite. You form a crush too quickly and if by some fluke you think you have a connection, you can't tell if it's real or just your imagination getting excited.

This is so accurate that it's really helpful. I've watched it twice.

When he said "let's be realistic" my first thought was just ew.

I was JUST talking about this with my mom. "You probably don't date anyone because you want a future-husband kind of boyfriend" is what she said

I could never express it so clearly. You've just unveiled my life.

I hate reality. I hate mundane conversations. But thank you, for the heartfelt advice. I'm not sure if I want to be in a relationship... my heart's exhausted. I don't see it in my future. I don't see it for me. But then again, who knows what will happen in a day or two from now, yet alone 5 minutes from now. :)

Only 10? Maybe things are not so bad after all.

"You won't feel much in the early stages of dating" Me: But that's boring i'm out fr tho lmao if I don't feel anything for the other person I just reject them, I think it's a waste of time to be with someone if I don't even feel anything

Thank you, FJ! Self-love and care, all the way! Love and appreciation to all! Please continue to stay safe and healthy!

Very thorough advice for a lot of people, particularly INFPs. High quality!

Me: infp, gay, never leaves the house, doesn't meet new people Also me: Oh I wonder why I'm still single clicks on the video

"Reality is not our strong point." 🤣 So true!

This is a wonderful video, the best I’ve listened to this far with regards to an INFP. As an INFP male, your video discussions are on point. And I appreciate the comic relief. I’ve found it necessary to laugh at myself as a means to breathe through life. Also, great comments everyone- enjoying the reads.

I am definitely idealistic and can lose touch with reality. This was an excellent breakdown and great advice.

I don’t like dating sites or when you are actually on the lookout for a boyfriend/girlfriend. I think relationships need to start out as real friendships and then grow from there. It needs to be raw. 😊

"INFPs don't like listening to advice." Me, an INFP, watching this video: But that's why I'm here-

Am both Pisces and infp 😂 you’re absolutely right about the question part but sometimes I use this against weird people and let them feel like they’re annoying me to let them gather their own dignity and leave! 😂

As an INFP guy, I appreciate this video and your others, Frank. You're doing a great job sharing insights to help us understand ourselves better and live happier lives.

Me, an INFP: wants to date Also me: don't wanna socialize and just go hermit mode T^T

me an INFP: ah man I'm tired of being single for 3 years now. 2 guys confess to me in the same week: HAHAHAHHA WHAT NO friendzoned

As someone with an INFP personality, I have gained valuable lessons from my past experiences and relationships. I have come to realize that instead of constantly searching for someone, it is important to focus on being true to oneself, finding inner peace, and gradually building meaningful relationships with friends or a significant other. Although I express my emotions openly, I have learned not to rely on others as much as I used to and I often cherish my time alone. I tend not to take advice at face value, preferring to observe situations with my own eyes and make my own decisions. While I now have a more realistic approach to my career and relationships, my core values of loyalty, kindness, and helping others remain unchanged. Looking back, I regret staying in past friendships or relationships, despite seeing red flags, that I now believe were not compatible with my values and beliefs.

This video is so insightful about myself as an INFP personality type! WOW! “It’s mind-bottling!” Pen-point accuracy! I even caught myself chuckling as I was watching this video.