I love how you include Ms. A in family conversations. As a former foster child i always felt uncomfortable being the last to know things about my life (moving to a new placement or having visits canceled that kind of thing). Walking into a room with case workers, foster parents, dr.s ect. Always knowing things about me first gave me a complex I still carry with me 35 years later. I’m extremely private. To the point that I won’t tell anyone anything about myself. Your family didn’t take in a foster child, y’all brought in a new family member. The respect you show Ms. A brings tears to my eyes and joy to my heart.

also note, my neighbor's foster lied and lied, and then everyone found out....she had been beaten for doing ANYTHING wrong. So she learned to lie to survive. Once it was figured out, it was sweet to see the change once it was figured out WHY and how she learned she was safe. Today she's in college and doing well.

I was adopted at 5, but like, I grew up scared as hell they’d give me back so I mostly just learned to stay out of the way and be quiet out of fear and be a peacemaker lol which I guess isn’t my family’s fault because they were nicer than I expected, I was just convinced that because my bio fam gave me away, then it’d be easy for them to do the same and I didn’t wanna be given up.

I think Darcy is just a normal little threenager. She's getting older testing different boundaries. I have a four year old little girl, she's the youngest biggest teenager in our house! Being the only girl isn't helpful, she thinks she's the mini boss. We just have talks about how she's not the boss and how to speak respectfully to her 6 older brothers. It's just part of transitioning into school years. She's looking for her place.❤️

I really don't think Darcy is acting out...I think she is a normal almost 4 yr old lol!! I have 2 boys and 2 girls. The girls are now 18 and 14 and they were the exact same way trying to push the limits. Just have to stick to the rules and not let her get away with the acting out. She will learn as she gets older. Y'all are doing great 🙌👍!!!

Not a foster parent, but I have hosted exchange students and now support families who host students. There’s definitely a honeymoon period involved in that situation! There’s generally not trauma like their is in foster care, but there is culture shock and a language barrier, which are usually not present in foster care. But yes, they go from being on their best behavior (host families and students) to being “normal,” which can be trying on both ends. :)

I'm a nanny and experiencing the pre school rebellion as well, good luck!

Your husband is so lovely ♡

It makes a lot of sense. There is typically a honeymoon phase in all relationships and situations in life. One of the main ones I can really relate to was in romantic relationships - ooh boy, sometimes you have to run when the honeymoon phase is over, lol. You guys are all doing great. Life always gets hard when it gets extremely busy and things change. Adjusting to the new normal. Darcy is just ready to take on the world! I swear that girl is going to achieve great things!

Just hearing this dialogue made me tear up 💗 You guys are lucky to be in each other's lives 🙏

With my daycare kids they also have a honeymoon period when they first join my in home daycare fam

I remember the honeymoon phase, and then we got our first “I hate you!” Its hard but so worth it. Our classes helped us, we also had a counselor for our family at first, I was very hesitant, but it was such a great thing for our family! We tried several counselors before we chose one!❤️❤️❤️

so lovely, and also TEENAGER in general. It's hard....a teen is growing and learning to be on her OWN, but slowly SLOWLY... and making mistakes. Because they have no experience in being a grown up! So it's that between state. TESTING is the word!!! At various stages. I love to hear Miss A's laugh!

Thank you for the perspective on parenting an almost four year old. We currently have two placements, bio sisters but the eldest has been in our home for two and a half years, the four year old was placed with us this fall. It's been a challenge to know what's developmentally appropriate and what's trauma related. Whenever we hang out with friends and their kids start running around and screaming we're like, "Oh good, it's not just us!"

I love how honest you guys are!! Know that even when the day feels long the night brings peace and that like you said you guys will adjust again. Ms.A sounds like such a smart girl you guys are lucky to be in each other lives even though the circumstance she is in may not be ideal. Sending you guys a lot of virtual hugs through the screen right now!

So I was never a foster kiddo, but we moved abroad when I was 13, 14 and 16 so I went through a lot of massive changes when I was around Miss A’s age. My dad recently told me that my brother (2yrs younger) and I went through honeymoon phases when we moved. When we’d just moved we’d be the sweetest kids and on our best behavior. After a few weeks/ months we’d start acting up again and behave like “Normal teenagers”. My dad claimed it was because we were so busy emotionally/ mentally with settling in the new house and adjusting to the new surroundings & new routine, that we didn’t have any energy left for our teenage brain to develop, which is shown through behavior like acting up and rebelling. However once we felt settled in the new place, then our brains picked up where they left off and we had energy to test boundaries and be stubborn. What I’m trying to say with this is, if kids (teens) act up, it can also be a sign of feeling safe to the extent that their brain can go back to normal developing behavior, because it’s safe. maybe that’s also what’s happening with Darcy right now. She also had to adjust to miss A moving in and a new dynamic, now there’s a sense of normal again and her brain is developing again and she’s testing boundaries. Either way, all the best to you guys! Lots of love from the Netherlands!

After a year of going through the process we just got a call for a 9 year old and 2 year old sibling set. Both girls. I'm honestly so scared of getting a 9 year old girl, but I'm trying to stay focused and you guys really help.

we've definitely had honeymoon phases with different kids. Each kid tends to have their own version and timeline of a honeymoon period.

That giggle little kids do to try to smooth things over was so cute when Darcy did it, LOL. Treasure these times ya'll, even the tough times, because through them, your family's bond will strengthen.... and sometimes when you're in the thick of it, you don't realize how fast the months and years are flying by. I have a 17 year old daughter who is graduating this year. What I've learned is the teen years are filled with ebbs and flows..... sometimes it's like a honeymoon and sometimes, divorce court. 😂 You are definitely blessed to have such an amazing relationship with Ms. A. No doubt you'll all treasure this period, as hard as it may be occassionally, for life.

When my 6 year old was 3.5-4 was literally the most frustrating age!! All my sympathy. ❤️

I love your honesty!

Y'all are really good people, thanks for sharing and as always god bless love ya Nancy

Ms A is so wise and mature!

Hello! I just found and subscribed to your channel :). I am a social worker and was a FC caseworker for 3 years. My partner and I will be doing FC for teen boys in a couple years (we are in our late 20s/early 30s). I just want to say you are doing such a fantastic job!! I think the end of the honeymoon period can actually be a really good thing. It shows the kiddo is becoming more comfortable and able to be themselves and make mistakes because they trust you. A lot of families I worked with were afraid of the honeymoon period/it ending, but I always tried to explain it in a positive light. It means they feel comfortable enough to show the sides of them (that we all have) that might not be the most accepted but are important and valid. Nice to “meet” you all!

You guys are amazing. Ms. A is so awesome! Darcy is super cute 💜

Great topic. The honeymoon phase also gives both sides a chance to get to know each other and feel out each other's personalities. It's also a time for the parents to get to know the child. You may see some behaviors manifest which give you an insight into what the child is going through. However, when that phase ends is crucial as you will see more behaviors and more moments where they need your guidance your care your love etc. Every behavior is communication and it's determining what that communication is that's most crucial. Keep up the great work

Welcome to the threenager phase. Good luck guys! Lol we love you and that party was so amazingly beautiful, SO glad so many ppl came together to make it happen and on the special day

When I was in fifth grade I was put in foster care with a family friend. She had two grown sons and two kids around my age. I was very quiet and shy, even though I had lived with them before, because my dad and stepmom couldn't get me to school and their son was in the same grade as me. She was an animal rescuer and had so many dogs so I would spend most of my time with the dogs and if I go visit her, some of the dogs will still sleep with me and it can get crowded. With my two little sisters and 2-3 dogs

I think it is also good to point out that if behaviors go to the extreme not to try and push through it that there may be more going on then what you realized. After months of betting myself up after fs behaviors we finally opened up and got more help. He was diagnosed with RAD. We now got that help and support he needs.

Oh my word; that intro..😍 How beautiful ❤

I really liked how your husband turned to mention your first foster child that there was a reason behind the behaviour it doesn’t make the behaviour in anyway acceptable, but more understandable. Especially because that particular child might be watching this… So good on you guys, I love it that you bring real life to this topic in terms of you don’t wait until everything is quiet, you just have the discussions with us like you would have the discussions with each other. You are real. I can tell that your intentions have always been real to, I could tell from the first vid I watched of you. As I’m sure miss a could the very day you met her. Which would also help influence her behaviour. A+! You guys all work as what appears to be an awesome team - I mean everybody in your family. Miss A is not some nameless foster child she truly is your foster daughter. Beautiful to see... 🤗 from Oz🇦🇺 Stay healthy.

So true.. there's different phases to the honeymoon stage. But it's real whatever phase you experience it's tough. My current placement is very shy and quiet. Fingers crossed that it stays as sweet as it is.

Miss A makes it super easy

A vocal threenager can throw a wrench into everything!😆

I love this channel ❤️

Former foster child here. The honeymoon phase I gave my foster parents was be helpful, paint them a picture that I was the perfect kid, but later I started ditching school and sneaking out at night to party.

I wish I could live with ya'll you guys are so nice and cool

Darcy is going through pre school so of course she is free at school and think homes the same way

I was in foster care with my 2 older brothers and little sister we got put with our aunt but we have always been good for the most part

I feel your pain on the three-nager front!

The rules thing at the beginning is my biggest thought that I ponder. I don't know of it's better to lay down the rules in the first few days or gradually add them on. Of course the first 24-48 hours is a tough adjustment, so I see those as more of just go with the flow time, but as far as after the first few days.

I am an elevated needs foster parent and honeymoons have been different every time. My first placement gave me about 2 weeks and then all hell broke loose. His brother that I also had gave me about 3 months (he was a toddler). My 2nd placement was an infant so no honeymoon there. My 3rd placement gave me 2 days before his behaviors came out. It was a scary placement. My 4th placement was actually a traditional placement and he had about a month of a honeymoon until his little attitude came out but it was a typical attitude for his age.

I never had anyone to talk to . It was suck it up . . I never was asked what i wanted to eat .U ate what was fixed ..if u did act up to much they would call have u put in some other home could be a boys home or girls home .

worries of cps taking my kid is over as she is 18 had cps in my life once cause my cousin was pissed i wouldn't let her in my home so she told lies about me to cps but other then that no cps in our life

I feel you all and miss a are doing really well things happen in all families

Our two foster sons are currently showing their true selves and it is super hard. I had to call respite for a couple days. It’s been tough

I was a foster kid and I had week or sometime less before start to act out it deepens on. If I like you or not

Darcy is just being a threenager! My niece was such a threenager! They start to become little miss independence at that age or at least are definitely like you said very opinionated! 😂💗

Love miss A

I think kids in foster care well I did wen in care just want 'normal' life be apart of a family, ms A probably just wants to know where to be etc etc and wants to see yas both

i’m 23 male i’m also transgender female to male never found my forever home i was in the system my whole life i’ve got a developmental delay my last foster home beat me and abused me so i ran away and was never put back in care because of my age i’m on my own now and honestly all i want is a forever family

3 going on 16

How long have you been fostering kids/ how many? Have you have siblings group in your care?

How do you deal with a cell phone or in foster care I'm new to your channel please let me know thank you PS I LOVE YOUR CHANNEL

Trigger Warning talk about a*use and it's consequences including self h*rm. Kids all kids test and try you. Foster kids try and test for many reasons. If abuse is in their history, they may try things, including self harm/suicide to see if people will abuse them (self harm and suicide should ALWAYS be taken seriously, keep in mind this behaviour along with all behaviour has a communicative function.) Traumatized kids often have spoken or unspoken rules in the house that they were traumatized in. For example, feelings aren't allowed, talking about anything inside their home inside of it or outside may be forbidden, refusal of any sorts is a huge no. Also the only way a kid may know how to get their own needs met may be the last way any typical child may go about doing so. Compliance based environments can be a problem as well. You could get a kid who goes beyond what is typical of any child to do what you want. They will not have a concept of the words, "no", "stop", "I don't like/want/want to do it." Emotion regulation skills and sensory regulation skills may be non-existent because they just do whatever they are told. If a child like this discovers there's such a thing as disobedience, they might be highly disobedient, because they might go from one extreme to the other. Every child needs to be taught the skill and value of refusal. Not just regarding abuse, but consent starts with a child being respected when they refuse most things. If there "no" cannot be honoured, a good explanation for why should be given, even if they are two or they are non-verbal. Compliance, I have discovered is more for the convience of the adult than the child's wellbeing. We can give choices, we can use "if/than", we can look at what in the environment might be causing a child with autism to have a meltdown. There is so many more things that I could say here but I will leave it at that.

How does foster care work? I thought foster kids get pulled from one foster home to another. Seems like with Miss A you have had her for “a while” (in terms of my thoughts of how foster care works).

I'm a foster child for now and can you tell miss. A that please

ah yes. the infamous honeymoon phase

Have you managed to get onto your first foster kid?

If anything were to happen to miss As family situation would you adopt her?

Girl, they call them threenager for a reason 🤣🤣

I was a Forster kid, for me the honeymoom faze always resulted in failed placements. They were always due to the Forster parents being overwhelmed by my mental health issues including self harm. And I think on my part looking back when I was first with them I'd keep the thoughts and what I was doing to myself but as I become more comfortable with them I'd share more of those destructive behaviours and theyd get scared off or overwhelmed

sorry if this is a personal question, and I totally understand if you don't want to reply, but do you guys think that you will want to adopt miss A? (sorry again if this a a personal question) :)

I love guy

At first I thought honeymoon phase is about you and your husband😂

I have a question hopefully it does seem like I'm being rude , but why can you tell us her name why do you call her miss A ?

Teenage girls are tough when they turn around late 14 to 16 but you just have to stand by your rules.

I hope your next foster kid is younger.

From what I see, Darcy is feeling left out, you can even see it in the intro. I have always believed there is no child that is bad, they are crying out for help by acting out.

Please watch and listen to your vlogs. You and Miss A constantly use the word “like”. Would be much easier to listen and enjoy your vlogs without that one word being so over used.