can you please talk about age gab

Women have no concept of honour. They won't stay loyal to you just because they gave their word and gave some invisible oath in their heads. That's a purely male phenomenon. It doesn't compute in their heads. Women's only value is towards their momentary emotions. What you provide them with. And how you make em feel about themselves and look to others for status.

Sadly the most effective tactic is to date women who like you more than you like them. That's how you get something kinda fulfilling and positive from the relationship as a man.

Excellent video, maybe the most important relationship video on KZfaq, except now you have to make a video to teach men how to be content while being the adored

Makes perfect sense! Thank you Doctor! Have a relaxing valentines day.

100%.I discovered him during the virus lockdowns and wished I heard his ideas before my marriage failed after almost 24yrs together.

Yeah, he was a good one. If you don't mind, where was he saying that, bro?

Video?

@@aferg76 yeah

@@aferg76 search elephant in the room on KZfaq. Best comedy special with amazing insights.

I think that is true. It can be a little more complex than that. If you are still highly attractive in other ways to her, then the sort of "chasing" can almost seem endearing to some women if you do it well and with charm. Every woman is different in some ways. But yeah, generally speaking, I think that's correct. You do have to keep some self control and self respect, and monitor yourself because its so easy to put them on a pedestal, and most of the time doing that is no good. It's allways the ones you're not that bothered about that come to you lol.

Women have tan poop.

This is why it’s so hard to get a woman you actually like

Sounds nice in concept but much, much easier said than done in practice.

Simple and clean comment

Agreed

So true

Yeah 😂

Exatamente!

Exactly & that’s what he’s talking about; Power Not love & respect for each other

Impressive

Golden comment, thanks for sharing

So basically you settled for someone that was replaceable at the drop of a hat. Congrats.

@@TheQueenIsWithin while your comment is true, you’re painting it in the most negative light. He clearly loves her and would not leave her. It sounds like he’s not even planning on leaving So then why worry?

@@TheQueenIsWithin I'm saying that I know that I can live without her ,but she adds so much value to my life that I prefer not to,

Its programation dude, the soon you start being cognizant of these biases the soonee you will internalize how unnatural and foreign to you all these dynamics are. It takes time tho.

Every man I've tried to love has told me they don't deserve me. :/ it's horrible

To Adore=to chase. Chasing is 100% of masculine energy. The more a man is masculine the more he will chase. The more a woman is masculine the more she will chase (being with a masculine woman means you are more Feminine) So, the more a woman is adored the more Feminine she is ( which is good for your masculinity) Pure logic and facts

@@primaveraverano1664 the entire premise your comment was based on is false. chasing is not masculine. You just think it is because our modern world has made it that way. It seems much more likely that throughout history women sought out alpha males rather than alpha males seek out the women. Do you think Genghis Kahn chased women? very doubtful

@@primaveraverano1664 you listened to the video, but yet managed to still go back to your default settings. He’s saying the whole chasing game produces bored wives and women being adorers is not sustainable….is that clear enough for?

Nope, indifference is neutral

I think love and hate are the same thing. You cannot hate someone or something if there was no love for it or them. And in order to love, you must have some hate to steer clear from. I know it sounds odd but hate and love are synonymous with each other. Indifference is neutral but is the opposite of both. If you didn’t care, then how can you love or hate ______?

👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

@@alterego157indifference is non emotional. love and hate are the same and cannot be opposite because they are both rooted in the fact that they are: emotions. The opposite, then, to an emotion, is indifference, which is non emotional.

Psychopasa Season 1

I was thinking the same!

Preach!!

The Special, fully agree👍

Thats what he said

Relationships work best when you both do the things you need to for your partner. My wife's effort in the relationship and hard work for the family inspire me to work hard for her and the kids.

@@stevebusam2911 Yeah, and still may well pick up on that. But also she feels deprived of the best chance to show her honest self, weaknesses and all, otherwise.

​@stevebusam2911 as long as she get the understanding that she is being adored , both parties are the winners 🎉

I agree Irina, that's a natural state of the women that has been taken away by feminism

I enjoy it until I don’t. Men can’t handle being adored. They take advantage of u or just get plain bored. Save the adoration for your side guy..but make sure the hubby loves you more 😂❤

Makes sense. Men provide security with protection, resources and masculine presence. Women balance this with affection/adoration, nesting and maternal nature with children. Men are supposed to provide more, women are supposed to adore more. This is the balance

What you're looking for is respect. If you weren't getting it it's because you never earn it. Women are very good at giving credit where its due. Try doing something admirable or kind for her

@@steph6109 I agree in general, but that is not the whole of it. A number of people, like marriage counsellors, have said that women switch off men more often after marriage than vice versa, especially after the kids come. I think there is something of a weakness in women in maintaining the connection with a husband. Men love women more than women love men. I was basically the same person before the marriage as after it. She was fine before but a few years in I was not taken into account in her thinking. It has been a difficult time getting some of that back. My wife is a good person, good mother, loyal, hard working, does housework, doesn't waste money. I am just pointing out what appeared to me to be a bait and switch, but is probably not contrived to be that. I don't think women are any better than men at recognising where credit is due. They are quite capable of totally taking people for granted, just as men are.

It’s strange, in my ex relationship I did admire him so much. I was obsessed with him. He was emotional about me as well and quite possessive. However, I think objectively I was the more attractive one (12 years younger, and a lot of people find me attractive, him not that much physically). He also didn’t have a lot of money. But he was an artist and I liked his character a lot, he was interesting. Anyway, I adored him more than the other way around I think. Unfortunately, he still left me. He didn’t want marriage in general also, a lifelong relationship yes but not a marriage. I think it doesn’t work to be the adored one for men who have attachment issues. Maybe for him, he needs to adore someone and she needs to be a bit unavailable…

@@Marivi247 Thanks for your story. Yes, I think he had issues with commitment. I didn't. I don't have trauma, I came from an intact family. My wife is the same. Of course, too much admiration from the women could lead the man to think he has better options. There is no one factor that explains everything, but to generalise, far more women file for divorce, and the most common reason is "lack of commitment". I think women generally feel they are settling today. I think their standards have been artificially raised, and they fail to appreciate good men.

@@Marivi247 Why do you think he have attachment issues ? Your comment kinda spoke to me cause i felt the same as the person you described. Why do you think we have attachment issues just because we don't like/need/want mariage ?

True but as a man you should mostly be adored

@@denzelwashington3596 Lmao, you are stupid both people should adore each other.

Traditional roles dictated that men provided more security in the form of protection and resources while women provided more emotion in the form of adoration. There's your balance. We have to let go of modern societal teachings and back to evolutionary psychology

Fully agree to that. Balance in adoration works for me and my gf

There's a term for this, it's called a "switch." What the speaker is suggesting is that this dynamic can only be successful if the man is consistently displaying masculinity. That way when you do display adorer qualities, like buying her flowers, it doesn't turn her off.

true

😂 It's hard to pull off in practice.

Since you would be adored what so hard about accepting it?

@@ker_at6814 Are you being cute because today is valentine day or should I think there is something special about you :)

@@ker_at6814 Men wrote poetry, music and did heroic things to conquer women, so we assumed that is unnatural to be at the receiving end and have a woman simp for us. However that is the best dynamic in a relationship.

Hypergamy and hybristophilia are 100% true phenomena and create so much misery for men in relationships all around the world

No point getting into one if she isn't the adorer.

@@eladbari agreed, but what doc is saying is you need to get an uglier woman then you are a man. You need to be the star in the relationship , Yet we are visual creatures...so its a bitter pill to swallow thats better for you. At least in this way you can focus on your lifes mission instead of capitulating and maintaining her attraction to you. Thats a drainer.

I don't think it's a problem, it's the natural evolutionary female mating strategy. It's the same for all mostly all mammals, and has been the same for us for hundreds of thousands of years. The problem is the weakening and feminisation of men in our current society. It's been planned, it's all intentional and horrible. But so many men are waking up nowadays and it gives me hope for the world.

The only problem with hypergamy is when it's SERIAL! If women think they can hop from relationship to relationship, then they become shallow...

Yes, it's mathematically impossible for most women now to find men way above their level. That's the reason why the men perceived to be at the top today have the entire female population going after them.

Stop collecting Transformers. First step.

@@thereisnosanctuary6184 lol your voice is so high it sounds like your cat's squeezing your balls. Oh hang, wait a minute, it is

This is true.

I don't know, there's a lot more to adore in a man than that. A man with his own mind, integrity, confidence and independence is endlessly sexy and adorable.

Yes. Duty. Honor. Idealism. All male "vices"

What do you mean by "dutiful"? I'm really curious...just trying to see if my man is or not lol

I agree that the adored must be more dutiful but I would argue that women are the more dutiful if the two. Men can be bound strongly by their lust but that's different to being dutiful. If we look at both genders characteristics outside of romantic relationships I do not think your claim stands

@@kathleen460 He is. He gives you safety and comfort, since you are an unsure neurotic that requires anonymous strangers to rate "your" mans value.

@@steph6109 the essence of love is sacrifice. Last I checked men sacrifice much more to be with a woman than the opposite. Don't try to "level" the field. "Typical" relationships are heavily tilted towards women.

I also prefer to be adored. Funny that he says most of us prefer to be the adorer, I just feel feminine being the adorer regardless of it feeling good. Just doesn't feel quite as good as being adored though.

@@joaquin67 In my observation, I see men preferring being adored to adoring.

@@dr.jenniferma3914 Correct, because being adored means we're Respected.

Do u have any qualities that would make a person want to adore u

Very well articulated 👍👍 I was a couple of times the adorer- woman and I confirm your statement. The more Feminine and knowing my value as a woman I became, the faster I forgot how to chase a man and the sooner I became the adored & chased one. Chasing is a 100% masculine trait

@@primaveraverano1664 so you chased before and you chased after?

@@ataj585 I did it a couple of times back in the days) Not more

@@primaveraverano1664 i don't buy that. it just sounds like an elaborate way to say "the guys I want are too unattainable for me and i settled by giving a chance to one of the guys in my friendzone".

all women are unstable and have self-esteem issues. It is just a matter of degree. Also all women are vacuous thrill seekers. It is in the design. Also women never find their self-respect, because they don't have any. what women have is pride and the desire to control outcomes.

Thank you Linda

@@tuphdc8779 😘

Women have no concept of honour. They won't stay loyal to you just because they gave their word and gave some invisible oath in their heads. That's a purely male phenomenon. It doesn't compute in their heads. Women's only value is towards their momentary emotions. What you provide them with. And how you make em feel about themselves and look to others for status. If those are on point. If the mystery and boundaries are maintened, she can enthusiastically follow your league. Of course all that if she finds you physically HOT first 😜

@@keylanoslokj1806 go outside

@@tuphdc8779 i went and i reported my findings here

Advance red pill content not for the average

It is so funny that men complain in these comment section complain about hypergamy but actually seem really disappointed to settle for a 7.

@@chrishnah - Agreed. Men are quick to point out that hypergamy has 80% of the women chasing 2% of the men. Yet, because men are visually attracted/stimulated, 80% of men are chasing 10% of the women. It's not much different.

@@christopherlarsen7788 I truly believe that with men it does not come down to looks. It's more his competence, it's really attractive when he is meticulous about aspects of his work and he has a capacity to protect. I think if men have those things they are attractive no matter what.

@@chrishnah - I appreciate your input. Through my personal experiences over many years, women have repeatedly stated that a man's charisma (strength of character + fashion sense) are the single greatest attractions for a woman. But I agree with you that more and more it is becoming apparent that a man's career drive - particularly when mission focused - is a significant factor of a man's attractiveness for women. These attributes of men's attractiveness can be, frankly, chalked up to hypergamy. I don't view the term hypergamy as an inherently damaging phenomenon. When viewed within the broader context of human survival and advancement, hypergamy has remarkable benefits to the human species. Yes, there is a dark side to hypergamy, and it is easy to see examples of women's unethical behavior. But overall, women pursuing men who can "provide and protect" is a healthy thing. Likewise, men pursuing physically attractive women is every bit as healthy for the human species. "Young attractive" women are not only more likely to survive childbearing to become nurturing parents, but they are also more likely to produce healthier children! Nature plus nurture is a win-win outcome. But again, there is a dark side to this phenomenon. Porn industries, Hollywood, product advertising, and social pressures hold a near-monopoly on the definition of attractiveness. These industries leverage attractiveness as a profitable commodity. Men need to take charge, and define attractiveness for their selves. I believe this produces greater satisfaction and happiness for men.

Yeah smart average men been marrying women that see them as their best option since time immemorial. When she is lukewarm about you, it's a hellish ride of a relationship. Women don't wanna date their inferiors for long and they can never respect them and give them their all

Yes the problem of hypergamy and women entering the workforce. Now the provider is not hot/needed anymore. And the average man just doesn't stand out

You know whats really unnatractive? A person who doesnt enjoy life. Enjoy your life even when your single, enjoy your work, enjoy food and drink. You cant take that from people. You can have a poor have working man who enjoys life and you can have a instagram 10/10 model whos completely miserable.

Lol go to other countries. Of course vet properly but the women out there treat you much better. This country is filled with individualist,capitalism and feminism which fuels narcissism. It is extremely rare to find a quality partner in America. Now also make sure you’re quality so you don’t bring the bad habits learned from this country to other cultures

@@keylanoslokj1806 The problem is nothing to do with "hypergamy and women entering the workforce", the problem is men being too weak/useless and failing to raise their game accordingly.

@@js9273 nuh classic victim blaming. That's horse shit.. because a few psychopathic trillionaires and billionaires decided to rule the world through capitalism and now even in countries like Canada, people can't afford groceries, doesn't mean we have to adapt. We have to get rid of our tyrants. You can't breathe in a suffocating chamber. You need to be outside in the open air. If you want to be a hamster in their rat race good for you. It's nothing to brag about. Even if you "win", you lose

My wife has been the adoring me for 45 years, I made it my duty, to meet her expectations, I make the big decisions, she makes the small ones, it has worked very well for us

It will. I'm the person who adores, but my husband does not adore me at all. After I gave birth he said he wanted a divorce…. So yeah. The husband has to adore you as well. I really admired him, was attracted to him and respected him, but I found out the hard way that he didn't feel the same.

​@@anneshirley9560but how

@@anneshirley9560 i am so so sorry to hear that hun. when gd closes the door to a person who you might be putting at the centre of your world, that person is always removed from your life until you learn to centre your world around god. i ahv seen this with a a lot of people. Did he ateleast give a reason for the divorce?

Ren_Mari, spot on 👍

Hard to accept, I think that’s true. How did you come it realize it ?

Well it's not just their power hunger and hybristophilia. Maybe the specific woman was extra pathological due to rough parenting etc. So she wanted only partners who confirmed her preconceived self image

@@keylanoslokj1806 Well I did try for 5 years to have as go to marriage counselling but she would not have it. The big problem for men at least is that the way the family law is structured , there is no consequence for women behaving badly.

@@brazidas58 yes that's why i avoid marriage

@@keylanoslokj1806 once bitten twice shy :)

I also tried to keep someone that actually liked someone else. It was a painful situation for me that I would never allow again

Well said, sir. Oh, in one study women view 80% of men to be average or below average in looks, while the amount of men they considered to be a "10" was precisely zero. 🙄 That means they really do think they deserve a guy who actually is a 9 or 10, which is less than 5% of males. Interestingly, the same study found that 94% of women rate their selves as being above average. Hard to believe, really, but it explains much.

@@maxjohnson1758 men's standards have been forcibly lowered if anything just to get the Access. in my experience and observation there is little to no value in commitment to a woman long-term due to societal expectations on men being higher than ever while basically giving women a pass on any real accountability. The longer you stay in relationship the less return you get on it and often disrespect of all kinds increases exponentially as well. I cannot emphasize enough the importance of culture to keep women virtuous wholesome and decent. This is really where a society either rises or falls

Boom. In a nutshell. Very well put.

​@@maxjohnson1758 Isn't it funny that those exact same women then complain about "What happened to all the good men?" Those "good men" often are already married with kids. So, they aren't interested in you anymore. Or the alternative are guys who have sworn off women. Who again aren't interested in you anymore. So, she might be aiming for that 5%, while in reality there is probably less than 1% who actually are still available for a relationship with her.

@@onee all the "good" men are found in womens " friend-zones"

And one that introduces "red pill" knowledge to a "blue pill" crowd.

YT's Alexander Grace is just as great

@@MilanElan you are correct!

I find this concept of either being the admirer or the admired a bit like believing that in a conflict: someone is right and the other is wrong. At the beginning of our relationship, we found ourselves in many random disagreements. Upon delving into them and doing a bit of research, we frequently found ourselves coming to the same conclusion: we were both right, about different aspects. I am so grateful for this pattern appearing in our life. I believe it broadened our perspective and helped us see the importance of humility and curiosity. If you see things different than I, I should very much like to better understand where you are coming from, even if only so that I may attain a greater understanding myself, regardless of who is "right" or "more right."

Yes I’ve experienced this too. I would like to know how to avoid this problem

Nah, it's because there are three stages of love. In the first stage you find each other attractive. That's when you start dating and are getting to know each other. In the second stage you idealize each other, and start to accept some stuff you actually might dislike. Like if you never take out the trash and that bothers her, she will be more tolerant of your behavior in this phase. And in the last stage you accept them for who they are. If you can't, that's when the relationship ends. That's when you not taking out the trash for example starts to bother her. Because then she realizes that you'll never change. That's when the "bad stuff" becomes unbearable to them. While it was bearable in the second stage, when they were idealizing you as someone you are not. This is also why women like bad boys so much. They think they can change him. They can't. And miserably fail at that. And that leads to them breaking up. But it's fun for them while it lasts. Or if they succeed, they get bored with him. I also think that it often has to do with how mature a woman is. If she's still chasing bad boys, it feels like she hasn't outgrown her teenage phase. I wouldn't want someone like that to be the mother of my children.

@@elchucapablas Simply never prioritize. You should be her priority. You're goals should be your priority. Simply make her second, and she will like you more.

@odin gave his eye to acquire knowledge I think I agree with you. It’s a balancing act and it seems the grind never stops even after you got her I do like the idea of spoiling her every once in a while

Is not that simple.

Yeah usually happens to guys with oneitis. Very unhealthy to make your whole life about one person for either males or females. Especially if the way you see them is still only a projection of who you think they are and not reality. One of those things that's easier to say and hard to do I acknowledge but no less true regardless

Sadly the most effective tactic is to date women who like you more than you like them. That's how you get something kinda fulfilling and positive from the relationship as a man.

I always felt smothered when I was adored & even then the relationship wasn’t good.

My philosophy is to be captain of my ship. She can be my first mate, join my life journey, never co captain. If she doesn't want to come along for the ride, drop her off.

@@pugilist102 Of course, don't maroon her unless she deserves it due to egregious behavior like cheating, but yeah, leave her at the next convenient port of call.

I don't think it's meant to be that extreme.

naive. The entire 50/50 argument doesn't work in reality, but sounds great, fair and cute on paper.

That’s deep and very honest, I appreciate it Jenny.

@Jenny Wight You'd miss it if you lost it. Trust me! You've gone nose blind to something good. Next time he adores you, simply adore him back on the spot so he knows you appreciate him. This video has some good insights, but I think it's based on a mostly modern flawed foundation: Emotional experience is the key to marriages. For me Emotional Experience is the dessert. The main course is to truly love the person for the person, and not JUST the EMOTIONAL experience YOU get from it. When you can do that, then you know what love is.

The man could absolutely adore the woman all day back in the day. That’s what it was all about. The woman and the man adored each other and respected each other. Times have changed. The woman is absolutely taught they don’t need the man. Marriage was respected. People actually stayed together. The clothes woman wear today are so revealing that they honestly never leave the market. That really is nature. You can say what you want I really do feel God and the true belief of being committed to one person is gone. The internet gives woman so much more attention and power. They never really care to be completely committed being adored or the adorer. Times have changed. That’s what this video doesn’t really understand.

Thats how most vvomen feel but not brave enough to say it cuz of how society would view em

@@Dreweybaby I think it's more than just societal reasons that this goes unacknowledged. At the end of the day, it IS kind of embarrassing. I mean you're basically having to honestly self-reflect and accept that you're asking for more in your partner than you're offering yourself. Yes, it might make for better harmony within a relationship but it also means you're having to humble yourself, and reject all of the self-serving validational nonsense that panders to vvomen. I think you underestimate how much vvomen want to live in a fantasy land OUTSIDE of relationships. It's every bit as strong as how much they want to live in a fantasy world inside of them. At the end of the day, they want to believe the popular narrative whereby they're constantly applauded and hyped for doing nothing. They're hugely ego invested in that. That becomes untenable if you've basically accepted you're the 'lesser' contributor to a relationship however.

@@sammyb1651 i can understand the embarrassing aspect.. thats tru 🤣💀🤣

100% Agree. I've always been attracted to older men for all the reasons you listed but never understood why psychologically until this video. Though it's been my experience in serious relationships that the adorer and adored roles switched depending on the situations we went through together in life.

You're right. It's quite rare to see a woman marry a guy that's shorter than him, earns less than him etc. So, in a sense equality might be good for society, but it isn't for relationships. lol

Accurate.

FACTS. I was a 6-7 but only liked women 7+. Big disaster since my actual audience was always 3-6.

Dating apps primarily focus on looks to begin with. Especially apps like Tinder are PURELY based on looks. Seriously no one bothers to read those bios. Unless maybe it's a match.

@@onee Women read the bios. Men who are with higher education/better job/tall are rated higher and get more mathes.

but they rarely marry .. when marrying , its reversed and guys family look for best bride. which is why guys bail now a days when marrying. dating is for smashing and mainly supply and demand. since women is shamed for number of partners, they have to choose wisely?

We have a tendemcy to reciprocate. It's in our nature to be more "reasonable". The issue is that women are not bound by the same inclinations of principle as us.

@ hot & lucky So many people mess themselves up thinking men and women are the same and not keeping in mind the differences.

​@@hotlucky5622 I think if the man is high value, she won’t have a problem to be "adorer" but if he is lacking....the admiration fade quickly.

I was in this exact situation. I dated a woman who was really into me but then I felt like I could do better and was not investing in the relationship as much as I should. I ended it saying she deserved someone who matched her energy. We didn’t align on core values so life would’ve been difficult with her.

Excellent advice.

Yes. A lot of men aren't even aware that they aren't UP from the woman they are pursuing or they don't think this aspect matters. Add to this that men often don't know what they look like, tending to think they are better looking than they are and you'll have many rejected men who keep chasing women who aren't attracted to them.

There are no absolutes you will play both roles but as a man you got to be the adored most of the time

Context: I tried implementing the Adored and Adorer concept in my relationships & I have been getting responses that the girl feels as if she is putting too much in and she feels that I am not reciprocating the amount she puts in.

Did you try it?

That is my mom's advice too.

Found the outlier.

Same here girl I’m am with an alpha male who is the adorer in our relationship. Being the adorer male doesn’t make you feminine. Men who expect you to fawn all over them and treat them as the prize of the relationship is FEMININE. By definition you want to be the female in the relationship. Huh no wonder no woman want you guys 🤔

And as a good woman I’d never risk losing my good man and because he adores me I trust he has control. I can give him that space and trust.

Same girl, same.

I have gone through a very bad divorce (lost 70% of all my money and assets) but it is only really after watching this guy's videos are things actually making sense, e.g. men need to work hard/sacrifice to put themselves in the adored position, make sure your wife is not bored as you are robbing her of her emotional needs, relationships are a means to an end for women (e.g. they really want kids, resources, properties, lifestyle for IG, etc), do not invest all your money into 1 risky stock/wife, etc. This guys videos are actually amazingly accurate.

That's how it was designed

The RP does not teach you to hate women. It teaches you to not hate women for what they cannot be to you- Rollo.

@@anisenkrill6179 you either love women or understand them. Their nature is too wicked to allow for both

What is RP?

@@onee Red Pill. In it's original context relating to intersexual dynamics.

good comment Den. respect.

This dude is just talking bs

I think it evenly applies to both sexes

But as a woman, you generally give bad relationship advice

"being both crazy" is something the adorer feels

Glad you said draining after a while. I actually like to be adored because he does everything for me

The only time a man needs that is if he's planning on tagging along more than one woman which is good for him but very unhealthy for the community. Only a selfish person would suggest this

@@steph6109 I practice polygyny and I'm responsible for more people than the average man or woman. Not sure how selfish comes into the picture... I'm not "tagging" along anyone. Also how is a man being responsible for more than one woman unhealthy for the community 🤔 Stop assuming.

@@thelogicalmoor8219 it’s interesting that she was able to identify the polygamous aspect of your lifestyle, through your original post: which was a short sentence.

I keep hearing the opposite for it to work. A man loving a woman more.

@@jaijai5250 my profile photo has a man with 2 wives, that's where she got it from.