TBH, I am tired of this conversation. I have been natural for so long that these self depracating videos just come off as childish to me. I just want Black women to admit they wear wigs/do not like their natural hair because they are too busy trying to date men who do not like their 4C hair and then leave the rest of us alone. I want them to get their relaxers and move on. Please. We've had enough of the woe is me stories.

People over exaggerate 4c hair, people even say 4c is a curse.

I’ve had my ponytail cut off in elementary school by a jealous girl. She said she was tired of them falling on her desk So she grabbed one and cut it off before I could do anything. Once I felt what happened, I beat the breaks off her and proudly took my suspension. But many people were jealous of my hair growing up. My mother simply took care of it! She washed it weekly. Combed it daily and I think I definitely have a type 4 hair. I wasn’t traumatized by it. She actually did me a favor. My mom cut it all even (she cut about 6 inches off but my hair was down to my tailbone at that point so it wasn’t that big of a deal) and it made things go faster on wash day and getting it done daily. She was expelled from school. We met up in high school and she apologized but I was never allowing her in my space again. Hair envy exists and always has.

When people see hydrated, moisturized, clumped, healthy, long 4c hair, and when they see a curl/coil pattern they swear its not “4c” they are like “my 4c isnt like this so its not 4c” like wtf? Its like they dont want 4c to be great? When people see short,dry, damaged, “4c” they are like finally real 4c ? People really think 4c is a brillo pad, they think 4c is the worst hair texture ever, the 4c hate is too much, i mainly feel like its just self hatred and they like to complain about their hair 24/7.

🏆“You have to pedestalize yourself” 🏆 That’s for ANY insecurity.

"you might actually be lazy" 😭 it's this. I dont have a long routine at all but people really want to do 0 for their natural hair while having effort for straight hair or extensions

When bw with 4c hair accept that their hair needs a unique set of requirements to grow (and they are funny enough the most affordable and simplest) and thrive, the long hair will come and they will stop calling the hair God gave them a curse. ‘We’ are trying to do all the things the type 3 hair girls with the waves and springy curls do, and hoping for a positive outcome. ‘We’ have a hard time accepting the uniqueness of our hair which includes how it likes to be taken care of. We want to shampoo our hair like the shampoo ads on tv, we want to rock wash and go’s like a 3c hair girl, we want our hair to grow down when what it does is typically grow up *first*. We run from humectants which 4c hair NEEDS. We call low manipulation styles ‘childish’ when our hair needs to be left alone - aka not manipulated. We fight our hair instead of working with it, from the wash stage to the styling. And then get mad at the girls with long thick 4c hair instead of taking notes of what they’re doing, which is not fighting against their natural texture.

This Andre Walker Hair Chart has caused so much division and confusion. Many people's hair types will not even fit exactly on the chart.

Cocoa in Kyoto Nappy Fu African Export Igbo Curls Chinwe Juliet Eugenia Kelsey I am so over bw convincing themselves that 4c hair doesn’t grow just because theirs doesn’t.

A couple of weeks ago, my sister in law complimented my hair. I have long healthy natural hair. She kept talking about how long and curly it was. I have tighter curls and my hair type is 4a but it appears looser now that it’s longer. My sister in law who has 4c hair said that her hair was very dry and it’s difficult to deal with. I told her no it’s not difficult to deal with, you just need to moisturize and take care of your hair. She asked me how I took care of my hair and I told her my hair routine and products. I wash and condition once a week, detangle, and braid it into 4 braids. I take it down after 5 days and wear it down for two days before rebraiding it on wash day. I also let her know that products don’t make your hair grow. It’s having a consistent routine that helps you grow healthy hair. I also showed her natural hair KZfaqrs I follow on KZfaq which helped me learn how to take care of my hair. She told me it’s “ too much work “. My sister in law spends HOURS installing her weave, blow drying and straightening her hair, and braiding her hair with extensions like box braids but taking care of her natural hair is “too much work.” I don’t understand why so many black women think this way. I’m also tired of the self deprecating videos on Tiktok.

The my 4c hair can never comments..

Its so annoying when people think that 4c hair doesnt have a curl pattern people think that 4c has no curls.

My baby girl has thick 4C hair and I am absolutely in love with it. I make sure to tell her how beautiful and amazing her hair is. My only wish is for people to educate themselves on 4C hair. I keep my kid’s hair pint up and under a bonnet when she is home due to her rolling around.

Exactly stop fighting your hair!!

Hard to Swallow Pill: people use the “Isms” to play the victim and refuse to heal and “pedestalize themselves” The hair typing system gave people a reason to put themselves on the bottom and to never learn to style or love their hair. We have so much to unpack regarding anti-blackness in black hair.

Many people with Afro-coily and Afro-curly hair can have multi-textured hair anyway. Furthermore, even if your hair shrinks which is a typical pattern of coily hair (even though loose 3c hair can also get shrinkage) the hair pattern may not be a so called 4c , the pattern might be a 4b, 4a or even a tighter 3c hair curl puttern mixed with 4a. The hair chart is not a blue print it is a generic guide. Most women's hair won't fit entirely into this chart. Women are forgetting that Andre Walker gave this hair typing labels to his private clients based on their individual hair type. It wasn't originally for the public. Andre Walker does not know your hair personally. So don't take his hair typing system too personal.

“Retaining length has nothing to do with your texture and everything to do with your technique” 🎤⬇️💥

I've had about 3 different shampoos mess up my hair and I was always upset with the shampoo. I never blamed my hair because it wasn't my hair's fault that the shampoo sucked.

My dear Aishling. You are the natural hair coach I wish I’d had as a young woman. For years I wanted to embrace my natural hair but I didn’t know how to care for it or how to pedestalize my own beauty. I’m grateful after so many years I can now celebrate my natural beauty. Keep doing what you do to help the girlies become best friends with their natural hair. 🤗❤️

I love 4c hair. I hate that some women don't embrace it. It's so cool.

I really enjoy your content. The messaging, the use of language (quads, tri's, saddie), the pedastalization. I love it!

Needed discussion- I understand. I do not co-sign the lie that tightly coiled, tightly curly hair is 'unmanageable'. Admit that you do not have the knowledge or the skill set to properly take care of it. 🤷🏾‍♀️

😮 Whoa, that was some tough love...but it is necessary. Call it like it is because no one else does

3:46 literally people think 4c cant be long.

Your content is so needed, but people are getting triggered at the very true points 😂

Thank you so much for saying everything that I’ve been thinking. I’m sick of the 4C hair is difficult campaign. The women who say this just need to admit that they simply don’t like their texture and either heal from it or just chemically change it cause the self hatred is tiring

I’m glad I grew up around educated black folks because I never even had the chance to hate myself or my features. I just never felt less than for my hair type. But I know it can be harder for women but my point is we need black children being educated my black people who are educated about the skin they’re in.

Sometimes sulfate-free shampoos can be harsher than ones with sulfates! I like the design essentials moisturising shampoos, and the l'oreal colour safe line. I think technically these are sulfate-free but they are quite gentle to my hair and I've been using them for years now. I feel you on making decisions that we have to not take out on our hair. I recently did finger coils and I LOVED them but I have learned that taking down the style wet is a bad BAD idea. The pics in this vid are simply gorgous🤩🤩🤩

4C hair is the best type in my book!! I don't know what mines is but I love it. I accept it for what it is,it took me a while to,but yup,4C is the best!

You are so naturally funny. I agree with this whole video. you've articulated it perfectly

I think the disconnect between sides is that neither are acknowledging that the behaviors we engage in are likely driven by trauma. Hair trauma is a very, VERY real thing, particularly for black women (which a vast majority, GENERATIONS even experience). And in that, it's not always so easy to just "decide" to stop wearing the wigs or using relaxers, ESPECIALLY when the factors that originally traumatized our perceptions of self (all the isms) are still very much present in our lives. While I agree with your sentiment, I think the more productive conversation is tackling the root of it all, which is that awareness/acknowledgment of that trauma and resources to begin the journey of unlearning hate for our natural hair. Until one can understand this, anything we say will continue to feel like shame and insult to an already existing injury (now from one's OWN community). Everyone always agrees that hair is intimate and emotional, yet don't allow themselves the humanity for the negative things they were taught to feel. It can be a bit careless to instead shift the blame to the individual themselves.

Oppression Olympics

17:27 people love to push the stereotype that 4c is hard😡

I embarked on a challenge this year where I don’t use combs/exclusively finger detangle my hair. You are right that we’re all on a journey. My first three months doing this I was frustrated. But this past wash day everything went so slowly and I barely lost any hair. It was the moment I was waiting for!

I have been dealing with a lot of these intrusive thoughts for most of my life. I used perms. It’s been one year without perm, and I am so grateful that I get to live in this space. It is a journey.

The chart was never meant to be complex. It gained popularity on hair forums during the 2000s before high quality mobile cameras were more available and WAYYY before natural KZfaq . It was an easy way to share info about your hair without showing it or getting a camera. Imo the issues hair typing has would exist without it. I do agree with you but being someone that was on black hair forums during the mid 2000s im always a little annoyed when people think it started with KZfaq. It was never treated that seriously on hair forums. Tbh I'm sort of shocked because now everyone has high quality cameras on their mobiles you'd think people would be less dependent on hair typing. Its not treated like a very simple chart from straight to kinky. People pick their hair type based on emotions or gaming the algorithm and not does my hair fit this very simple metric

I love my hair so much so now that I’m trying new hairstyles without the use of gel🥰

I would love a series! You’re very on point with what you say! Also I love your channel, my hair is bra strap length if I straighten it but doesn’t even graze my shoulders in its natural shrunken state, and you’ve influenced me to just wear it like that and see the beauty in it, instead of hiding it with braids/wigs or spending hours on a twist/braid out, so thank you💖

I am currently 4 months post relaxer and this is my second time transitioning to natural hair. When the time comes to cut off the relaxed ends, I'm hoping I'll have a more positive mindset to my hair 🥰🙏

Honestly I just think it’s AA who make natural hair a spectacle/problem. I’m Haitian and in the carribean natural hair is not a big deal because most women/girls wear their natural hair. It’s the norm so there’s no stupid conversations of is it real is it not. Are you mixed are you not. And girls don’t get bullied for perms/weaves because all the girls wear their hair. So there’s nobody feeling like they have to look like the next girl.

This video was needed.

I absolutely LOVE your channel and the way you speak LIFE into your natural hair. Watching this as i moisturise my natural hair.

I just don’t get it. I went to an all yt school and I wore my natural 4c hair out proudly as a child. My hair was permed because my mom and aunts wanted it to be “easier “. Once I was old enough I cut that perm off and have been natural every since I just don’t get it. It’s yours, from your scalp. People don’t like it that’s their problem. I love my hair always have.

Coily hair is pretty. We need to see it that way. These pictures are gorgeous. Just absolutely stunning.

I have shaved my head 3x …each time I grew a big fro ! Perm, hot comb etc can’t tame it !!! I where the BIG fro out for shock value ….still make head turn!!!

It's always sad the amount of animosity people have towards their highly textured hair and become very hostile when you point it out. I don't give natural hair advice anymore because a lot of times i get used as a proxy for other people's hair frustration then get immediately dismissed when they asked me for tips. Why ask? I've understood my hair for a long time now thanks to hair forums. So many have made up their minds that they will always suffer with their hair to the point they wont do simple things to make their lives easier. They want a secret product to solve all their issues and dont like when i say get to know your hair.

Girlllll I love your chanel, your voice and the way you analyse things... I am subscribing

13:00 that's me! 😭🥰 haha but great vid & I agree

I need the series!

Maybe not hair typing, I feel like descriptors like curly, coily, kinky, density, coarseness/fineness, porosity, have all been helpful in learning what products address what hair concerns. Unfortunately, some people still live in black communities where textured hair is considered ugly.

I wish they stop using the so called "Hair Typing System because it has nothing to do with how to take care of your hair. Its just another way to divide and give people an excuse not to love their hair. Im ao tired of them downung their own hair like Shut Up.

This is true for me. I was natural from 2013 to 2021. I did a pixie cut because i did not like my hair. Later i went back natural from 2022 to now. And i am learning to love my hair and care for it daily etc. In general i had a lot of Insecurities and i had to work on them, and learn to accept myself for who i am and by putting in the work, i am also learning to love my hair and African features. Its a journey and im glad i am on the right track. I love these videos so much, they convict me.

The intro> 😂

Excellent video!

Great content!

I definitely agree 10000%

I’m come to realize that I am in face the ✨problem ✨

We can say whatever we want, managing 4C hair in Western countries is a lot of work. I have Asian friends that don't even think of their hair : it grows fast and easy ! It is the truth and we shouldnot act as if natural 4c hair was the easiest hair in the world, on the contrary ! It demands a lot of time and work. I love my hair, but I have three companies to run. So braids or wigs are a time saving for me (wigs more!). Spending 3/5hours a week to manage them is not on my reach.

Can we raise our glasses to her and finally put that exercise of futility aka the denman brush to rest.

As someone who was relaxed from ages 5-22, has grown my hair to bra strap length and has had a pixie cut, who has big chopped and had a TWA, colored it, cut that off again, and now is coming up on 5 years natural trust I KNOW that hair depression is real. But once I learned that NONE of these hair types or styles are “easy”… that any desire to look a certain way (sexy, classy, casual, whatever) takes EFFORT, I was much better off. For me, just letting my hair be how it wants to be (in terms of length & texture… been thinking about color HEAVY lately 😅) and just learning to work with it eased all the stress I used to feel about it before

Sending you fan if you’re catching heat🎉🎉

I agree with a lot of what's said but the comment section usually throws me off. Do people not realize how condescending and righteous they come across? The message is destroyed when you don't seem to understand why everyone hasn't become enlightened yet and feel the need to berate and belittle THEIR struggle. It is very true that no matter who hurt you it's up to YOU to find someway to get around it; that's the case with most traumatizing experiences. People heal in their own time or maybe they don't heal at all, and a large majority of commenters here lack basic human empathy. It feels like a lot of people with "type 4C" hair wish others with it who haven't become enlightened would just shut up and stop sharing their thoughts because they only want everyone to hear positive opinions on something THEY have. I completely get how if you have something too, you don't really want to hear it be run into the ground, but everyone doesn't learn acceptance at the same pace. If you read comments in general on similar topics you will see many people with long 4C hair basically accusing those with short 4C hair of being lazy; If they weren't lazy they would have long hair too. That is so insulting and superior when you have no idea why someone else's hair isn't retaining length. More often than not you see the short hair referred to as dry and damaged and the long as cared for and thriving... automatically assuming short hair isn't cared for and healthy. That mindset is just as harmful as what all the whiners are doing, but fewer people will see that.

Im not fence to lie to yall...i got 4c, the type that water just rolls off of, kinda like a ducks feathers...ive went natural multiple tomes in my life, it grows, i just pretty much kept it in braids and quickweaves, I AM LAZY AF, so once i got to bra strap length, i would neglect it because i didnt want to detangle it for an hour and a half...even with detangling conditioner it was ridiculous. I tried so many products to make it more manageable. IT IS WHAT IT IS. I guess im just tired of EVERYTHING having to such a dam struggle AARRGGHH! I chopped it off again, so im getting back on the horse. Wish me luck ladies.😂

So true

Shrinkage is all good - if you can do it without all the tangled and knots. Give me the tips ladies I want the fro in all its glory but not 2 hrs detangling. The images here are stunning btw! 🥰

Hard pill to swallow ❤

She doesn't look mixed. At all.

I’ve had ppl say my hair wasn’t mine or it had to be texturized or 🙄what are you mixed with some ppl are are ignorant and think looser hair textures have it easier or something

Hi coilette, do you use gels or mousse in your hair? A lot of the pics you’ve shown are women with hair similar to mine, but it looks like it’s in its stretched state, which is super cute. I went to a curl specialist, and maybe didn’t explain what i wanted properly, but she slabbed gel/mousse over my head and I don’t think it’s what my hair wants. Sure, I can see my pattern, but I’m loving the imagery you’re showing here. Thank you. ❤

Hi, I could not hear the TikToks you put in the video

I love my shrinkage but if I wear it like that it will break off bad and knot up especially since it’s getting longer. so I just stick to my big beautiful blowouts. I use the same hair care routine in both states. So some of us stretch it because our hair likes it and thrives I came from being a buzz cut baddie for 7 years so short hair doesn’t bother me. This is my second round growing out my gorgeous hair ❤. Type 4 hair is so much fun. Find what your hair love ladies and stick to it. Remember we may have similar hair types but our hair is diversely different.

Hun what do you use for your egdes im struggling for it to grow back. I do wear wigs in the winter..i wear it in tbe day and i take ii off..so is it the wigs?

Your hair can be natural and not shrink in locs

@Coillette What’s your Pinterest account?

Show short 4c hair

Rev 21:3-6

I’m one of those who feel CURSED by 4C and NO I’m not lazy. I wash/ condition my hair once every 2 weeks and spend hours detangling, and another couple hours styling. I take good care to make sure my hair looks presentable at least, but it’s a curse having to put in all that work for my hair to not even be socially deemed as worthy of respect. I get compliments every day when I wear my loose curly wigs, lemme wear my 4C out and immediately it’s “your hair looks like that bc you don’t take care of it” and that’s AFTER I take GOOD care of it. But they don’t talk about loose curls like that. Edit: just putting out there that I’m seeing a lot of hate for girls like me who do hate their 4C, but the problem is maybe we need to be uplifted and spoken up instead of spoken down to lmfao, yea my hair is the worst texture and you think I hate myself bc of that opinion? Yeah let’s tell girlies like me we’re the worst and anti black 💀 that’ll change our opinion for sure. I WISH I could love my hair, my husband LOVES my natural hair, he’s seen me cry over doing my hair, it ain’t easy struggling like this. Try some compassion.

Can we just choose how to wear our hair, natural, relaxed, whatever and call it a day?

I haven’t watched far the video, just in the disclaimer moment. I just…can we stop shaming anyone who does what they need to do for survival knowing that it is not in their best interest for a positive self image in the long run? I have genuinely attempted for years to be an unbothered natural girlie but now currently wear a long yaki wig on a daily basis. I don’t exist in a vacuum and it feels horrible seeking community and getting the messaging that oh you still hate yourself oh you this that and the third I am just trying to exist in an alarmingly white area and will not have the means to move for years probably. Am I paranoid or did sis just roll her eyes at me and my wig walking down the street because I can’t afford to get braids at the moment and stepping outside of Eurocentric hair length/approved style standards is going to make people at work look at me sideways? I can’t help but feel defensive, life is genuinely too hard without adding extra layers or micro aggressions when people want to take you down several pegs because your hair isn't what THEY want it to look like. I just want to take in positive content about my hair and what it has the potential to do and how wonderful it already is without being shamed for having to exist in society. My mom had short, sometimes natural hair for almost all of my life but she was absolutely gorgeous and an accomplished professional. And even she never got her happily ever after moment. We can critique standards without shaming people for trying to adhere to them. The emotional and social toll of turning away from these standards in an actionable, practical way is never discussed in detail, it's all finger wagging you have to love yourself, why are you so self hating, you are not in tune enough with blackness, etc, etc. I love being black, I love my hair, I also just want to survive and live in peace, please and thank you.

my hair specifically thrives and grows faster until a wig. womp womp. this is kind of projecting one beauty standard on all black women, even thise who enjoy wigs because theres nothing wrong with preference.

truthfully. sometimes wigs is a fashion statement. its a projection to think my hair broke off under my wig sis. bad take. sorry.💕