“I don’t want to anchor my hope in the future and I don’t want to anchor my joy in the past, I want to be present with my joy” Bars‼️👏🏾👏🏾

I get this. I connect to this so much. The fact that we can't take a couple of weeks to just be without the threat of homelessness is not what God intended for us.

“I don’t really wanna be a manager… of people.” I say this all the time. I don’t care to “manage” other people. I’m too busy trying to manage myself in this life and I only desire to be the boss of myself-physically of course, but definitely spiritually, mentally, emotionally.

Life is one huge never ending episode of Doing.

real freedom is letting go. “Falling behind” is only an illusion by the ego….. great topic though because last year I drove myself crazy trying to maintain. Had to heal from grinding.

“ I’m doing this because I don’t want to die” hit me like a thousand bricks

Been feeling this way for the last two years. Lost my job 2 year ago and just paused on life. Been really nice. I just lay in bed and take baths

Happiest I was in my life was when I was making jewelry, wasn't on social media, and had an old busted cell phone. Things are moving too fast and I can't process it all.

I resonate with this so much , I recently walked away from a job and I felt a peace ever since. People keep ask me what’s next, what you plan to do… I plan to do nothing , just live and enjoy life

I’m bald to I can’t even keep up with my hair just want REST omg. I just don’t CARE anymore. I almost considered Loc’s then realized I’d have to still maintain and I simply can’t.

I've been having *several seats* and it feels great 🎉

Dr. Gabor Mate said in a recent podcast that the period 🩸 is a time of revealing truths. It’s a time where our body is rejecting all the things we’ve been bottling up.

Alecia...you are my inner thoughts🥹

Yes!! I feel you! I was saying these people who want to be the boss chick are not me. I do not want to manage people and DO NOT have to be the Head. I am good! I make enough money for me! Got my daughter and self through college, now I just want to RELAX!!!

This is why I don’t like driving I walk everywhere now

FINALLY...someone who gets it. Healing is difficult and when I've gotten better with one thing, something else pops up and I'm praying, writing, meditating, self-censoring , being ultra self aware of myself, my thoughts and motivations...... I'm so f*cking exhausted and just feel better....whole....happy. And keep a mentally draining job as well. I just want to be free. Be Me.

. . . I feel you, I'm fed up with it ALL🦋

“I’m tired of running but I’m afraid to slow down.” That so perfectly sums up how I’ve been feeling too. I really hope you have the opportunity to slow down and just be soon. ❤

I just left home this year, I’m 19. It’s been harder but one of the better decisions I’ve made. My family doesn’t really understand me nor care to. I can’t keep overachieving and taking it and creating just to make them happy all the time. It’s not me. Your videos bring me more comfort since I got kicked out.

Have you left America yet? That may reduce your stress.

I realized that my desire to be the boss chic was me wanting other peoples approval. It was exhausting. I still battle with it because the world says that is what I should want but I know now that I just do not have the energy for that life.

Alecia thank you for being you!!! Your videos are so timely because I am at a similar point in my life. I have given up the "I have to be productive to be valuable" mentality. I am valuable because I exist. I want to experience the rest that my ancestors dreamed of. The things that help to calm my mind are ashwagandha and meditation. No more racing thoughts. I pray for more black women to end the cycle of self-sacrifice so we have the energy to use our creative gifts. We are human-beings not human- doers.

This is why I don’t want responsibility of work or relationship or anything just want to rest at any opportunity I feel necessary. I m falling apart to. My life is slow n I want to embrace a slow life forever.

Stay strong sis… Perhaps you need a trip outside of America that usually give one a recharge….🙏🏾💪🏾💜

Girl this video was so relatable. I made the choice to quit the academic life after grinding and exhausting myself for three years, and trying to grow as an artist while being unemployed is so much harder than I thought, especially with everyone around me judging me and making me feel so isolated. And yeah coming from a poor background definitely doesn't make it easier. At this point I just want to give all of that up and just keep my passions as a hobby and something that makes me happy and nothing more, so tired of capitalism and always being unhappy because something is missing.

12:35 ok so this! Whew! When everything fell apart I felt suffocated so I got money together to book a trip to just run away from it all! To the ocean. The beach. I leave next week. You should do it if that’s what your soul says to do. I plan to go in the ocean and cry. Literally. 😂 and talk to my ancestors and God and just pray. I need clarity. The water feels like home. Ok sorry for so many comments but that hit me deep! Much love! ❤❤❤

🫂I understand, I was thinking about this last night when I could not sleep. Can I please just sleep! I want to do different, just go somewhere and submerge in a culture and learn a language. I love you for always saying what the rest of us are thinking.

My love, I'm giving you a super big virtual hug 🤗 *squeeze*!! The heaviness can be heavy for real. Your video recommendations & YT home page sounds similar to what mine was. I stopped consuming content for a while & gave myself permission to frolic in the trees, play in paint, & help my friends. When I returned, I clicked "not interested" of some videos & searched new topics that I wanted the algorithm to serve me. Right now, it's DIY garden projects because I don't know why landscaping materials are so damn expensive!🙃 When I quieted the internet's commentary in my head & started giving my attention to the lovely people in my life, I realized how much beauty is still present. I remembered nobody is going to give me permission to be the person that I want to be. I just have to DO IT. I know this is stuff you already know, but even the faithful need to be reminded to keep the faith ✨️ Sending you so much love 💕 Rest well

You are just tired of living in the capitalistic way of living that we all have been conditioned to live in. Your soul knows you are meant to break free (which you are doing). Hopefully people get it but everyone may not never get it. Just keep doing you FOR YOU!

It is only when I rest and sit my ahh down that the “answers” come to me. I’m still learning to let go of my perfectionism and my striving- and allowing my higher self to lead me. I’m tired of just “trying” so hard🥹 Thank you for these raw, honest, vulnerable love letters to the world💕

Go at your own pace . Listen for the voice that tells you the next right thing

You are NOT ALONE! Helpful tool: Keep a menstrual cycle list. I started one to advise future me on how to prepare. I think the emotions also come from not putting something in place. For example, in my Luteal cycle I have a note to remind myself to listen to soul hugging music (like your “breathe.” album) I even have a cycle week noted as my most energetic to let me know when I’m usually excited and have new ideas. Some of the feelings are equal parts spiritual as it is womanhood. We have to coast oppose to conquer sometimes. Praying for you beautiful!❤

It’s not your fault that you’re tired. The economy has you on a treadmill. KZfaq has you on a treadmill. Social media has you have several treadmills that have become “necessary” to survive. Of course, you’re tired. Big business…the tech industry…they’re stressing people out. The world is tired and people are tired, but capitalism isn’t going to stop. We should slow down. We really should.

Omg. Thank you. I’m so damn TIRED! I immediately clicked on this. It’s hard to admit it bc I’ve been such a high achiever. I just lost my job and feel lost and all this pressure to get back on the wheel. And I really don’t know how. I just don’t know to focus so here I am on KZfaq then this popped up! Thank YOU for being so RAW REAL AND HONEST always. ❤❤❤❤

I was just writing in my journal that I just want to sleep, but since I can’t sleep for more than a few hours, it’s a problem for me. Everything feels like work, as you said. The way I’ve found to slow down in my undergrad studies is just to know what’s not necessary. For example I found out that just taking a class can earn my credit even if I don’t get an A or B. So I sacrifice any chance I have to get an A or B. I just settle with a C if I really haven’t any energy. And I said forget about my GPA this year since I haven’t a concrete goal or reason to keep it up. Plus regardless of the anxious effort I usually carry out to get an high grade, it often still ends up around a low B. And I found that it’s about the same even if I relax in my efforts. So now I just get the assignment done even if it’s clearly not perfect, and try to carry my self on to bed even if it’s still daylight (a privilege indeed). And indeed I’m in credit card debt now suddenly and the world feels like it’s spinning faster and dizzying me every day. But now I just sleep in the sun, come what may, hell or high water. The bare minimum will barely get me through and that’s fine. Jesus will be back and he will help us all.

I was about an hour ago on my break and began to think about some health maintenance I would like to do. My next thought was it takes resources (money) to be well. Came back put on this video and you're articulating my thoughts and feelings ✨️ All this to say... I see you. More than that I feel you.

I took a 4 month unpaid sabbatical last year and even though I had no money coming in, I recommend to everyone to take the time to rest if you can. I hope that your upcoming sabbatical will allow you that rest and recuperation.

This / your post are "fancy" they are worth more than you know. You are an extraordinary human being with a reach to so many. God is not random Matthew 11:28-30❤

Whewwwww 🎯 You articulated exactly what I’m experiencing. I keep and saying that I must be in cycle of chronic burnout and I’m trying to figure out how to balance it all and rest but not quit. Thank you for this!!

I'm tired too.. I feel like my day of rest will only be when I die. I have no one to fall back so I have to keep grinding until further notice. Then we are told we have to keep up with the changing workforce. This life is not for the weak. I pray we all truly get to live the life we truly desire. God bless you all

Thank God for you and your content. It’s very life giving 🩵 Thank you for allowing the Lord to use you to put these messages out to the world. It’s so refreshing.

“Go to the ocean & cry” I loved that

I can’t even begin to tell you how DEEPLY I resonate with this video, and how timely this message is. It’s like you took the words right out of my soul, when I couldn’t find a way to accurately express these exact same feelings. All I can say is: ME TOO. Thank you for always showing up, for always being real, and for choosing to share your raw, authentic, sacred thoughts with the world. You are so greatly appreciated and loved, just as you are. 🫶🏾

These are the words of my soul !! The things I can’t articulate, I see you .

Girl I feel you I just let everything go and what ever happens happens. I don't want to aspire to anything but enjoying my present life

You have to say "when" to stop. Take deep breaths. The nameless, faceless "they" will NEVER tell you that the majority of "getting stuff" and paying all your money and time to possess those things is just a "gimmic" and a waste of unretrievable time. You are so right, young lady. Stop being in the competition lane. Back in my day, we used to say, "Get out of the rat race." Bob Marley made a song about rat race. Be patient... there is nothing of which to overwhelm yourself. Blessings.

What is real is ALWAYS relevant. 😮

Sounds like you need to drop some things...take the load off...I relate and it's not easy at all

Yes. It starts to feel heavy.

The only repercussions for pausing is PEACE OF MIND. If you keep running, keep pushing, keep having all of these things and goals and stuff to do…that’s when you break down. You’re enough. You have enough. You’re DOING enough! Take your time because you have time- no matter what society says. You are loved and you aren’t alone in your feelings. We get tired and weary, but when we get there, we have to break off onto the quiet road. Hopelessness is a scary place to be and I’m praying that those feelings crumble and break free from you. You have such a warm cadence. You’re a kind and calm spirit. God has you on His mind. You are loved and we love you! It’s gonna be okay. Pinky swear. 🎈💛✨

Watching and relating. 💕 I've been taking this month to let the ball drop in some ways so I can take the time to go deeper on where I can support and take care of myself better.

I so can relate to your sentiments. I decided about 5 years ago that I would no longer aspire to become something. Always pushing causes you to never be content with what you actually have and who you really are. I took that pressure off myself and I feel so much better now. I no longer have the associated anxiety that I was experiencing because of the pressure I put on myself at all times. Also, being from the DMV (which I am as well) doesn’t help because a lot of people lead with superficial nonsense. I appreciate your vlogs…they resonate with me and so many.❤

Thank you Alecia for always echoing this message. My therapist said that this is the new norm and I'm not alone in having 2 jobs. But I reject that this will be the norm for me and my community.

I feel this. It's an exhausting feeling. It seems as if the littlest things cost me so much energy. But I want to pour into myself and rest without feeling guilty or anxious. Like you said "I just want to be." Great video, thank you!

Thank you for holding space. Thank you for your vulnerability. Thank you for voicing the unheard. I pray God blesses you. I feel seen here. We appreciate your wisdom

It happened to me had a heart attack at 36 from stress no support, worry, no community, etc. Please keep making these vidoes.

Who are "they" ? Starting fresh is the new flex. Once we step back to observe we find out that "they" are us/ ourselves...self imposed pressure. I innerstand what you have expressed and it takes a combination of healing what we've been traumatized by along implicit trust which will undoubtedly encourage you TO BE BECAUSE YOU ARE- EVERYTHING * MORE THAN ENOUGH 💖

"i don't wanna try anymore". mannn listen. trying for decades now, and even the success I've found here is still work ultimately. i love it, but it's still striving. Sometimes we just need to take a rest for a long time with nothing pressuring us. I just wanna exist some days.

Girl…. I see you! You’re expressing exactly how I’ve felt for such a long time. Always running towards a finish line, towards the next thing. It’s exhausting. I’m just now starting to slow down and allow myself to to take things easier. I’ve never felt happier than when I decided to just allow things to happen without having to control everything or be the best or most productive. Thank you for this video!

💯. Amen. So many gems dropped in here!💥. Yes! Falling behind. That's what projectors would love to say about my life yet, I am happy and will do this all over again but WITHOUT 'THEM'. " Y'all can have it" whatever the RAT race is about.I I love this new AR Movement. The Falling Behind Movement. I'm right there in the front row! You're not alone in your thinking. #outliersunite! See you in your next upload.❤

"I just want community" Yes! I want all the resources to live well like you said, and, I want people that I love and who love me to live well with me

OMG, you are ME and I am you! I got this push in 2022 to JUST STOP always trying to get to the next level and not being able to enjoy the here & now. In fact, I just created a video about how my delayed road trip made me anxious and once I sat with myself I realized it was the conditioning of the capitalistic society to always be reaching for the next thing. Like you, I was afraid to JUST BE, but I did it and am doing it. It has been one of the best decisions I've made and I'm continuing the journey in my van. Thank you for being so vulnerable, sharing and creating this amazing community.

this video came right on time

I felt like I was the one talking… 😩 I’ve been feeling these feelings so heavy these past months… I’m so burnt out and done with trying but like you said scared to stop running bc it is things I desire… Just not of or the way of these systems but I guess that’s where FAITH comes in… So here’s to ALL of us stepping out on faith that the slow authentic life we want will happen full of prosperity!!! 💜

I feel you so deeply. I would love to be pen pals… I feel like we have a lot in common when it comes to our academic upbringing and yearning for community. I’m also a writer. Would love to connect. You have shifted my life in more ways than one. Sending you so much peace, Alecia. You are deeply loved round here! 🫶🏾

Hi Alecia, I am going through the same thing as you are. People see you, but they don’t see you. I’m also tired. I’ve noticed that I’m looking for community without the transactional relationship of give and take. Why can’t we love each other unconditionally without expecting something in return?

I feel this video so much ❤Thank you for your honesty and courage. I wish deep rest and deep joy for you and for all of us who are feeling the same way.

WE IZ TIED 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨 As a nation, as Millennials, as black women---we're thoroughly exhausted The culture of consumerism and capitalism is abusive and I'm glad to see so many people starting to refuse and reject it I desire peace above all else ❤

This resonates with me so deeply. My God. I really needed to hear this. I really needed the comfort and freedom you expressed in not resisting my heart's urge for me to slow down and do everything in reverse: being last actually means, at least for me, first place for my heart, my health, my mind and my spirit.

I feel you girl ,you are not alone in this. Hang in there Alecia

I understand your pain, however as a default parent I've been feeling like I never get enough down time and I am burnout and running on fumes. However, my husband and children don't care and if I have a breakdown the whole house will fall apart unfortunately.

You said all of that to say that your soul needs rest. You said that your tired of healing, its not that you are tired of healing is that your soul has been doing the work to heal and it needs rest in order to continue to heal the parts of you that still needs healing. Rest, do what your soul requires you to do, whatever that may look like to you. Doing what feels good to your soul is honoring yourself and the journey you have been on. When you honor yourself, everything starts to fall into place effortlessly.

Alecia, you’ll find peace. If your life falls apart, you’ll be able to restore it again! If you fall behind, you’ll have wisdom that others don’t. I hope Jesus blesses you in this journey.

This was exactly what I needed to hear, even healing is becoming a task, from journaling to meditation to self help ect it’s all just too much. Why can’t us as humans just be and be at peace ? Sometimes I just wanna exist and be happy with just existing. Everything is just a constant moving goal post, I just wanna be at peace. It seems like everything is motivated by fear now and never doing it just because you love it and it makes you happy. I’m tired of all of it honestly

It’s cool to be lost and homeless for a while I highly recommend it. One day I quit my left home with a few supplies and the outfit I had on and just walked. I didn’t know where I was going what to do where I was going to sleep anything. Things just naturally unfolded based on my mindset. Because I believed in miracles I was more opened to them or looking for them. All of what we see and do is based on choice and participation. We don’t have to do any of the things we get to experience the things if we want.

Literally resonated so much when you said “I hope you like me” and then giggled when you said “idk I’m also on my period” lol trust me I agree the whole we effort for others to like us is something I can very much feel especially lately I’ve been deep questioning myself lately

Alecia, thank you for sharing. It shows that so many people are absolutely fed up of the daily grind. I’ve discovered that the accolades and highest levels of education (I have those too) don’t bring peace. I also am burnt out and just accepting that it’s ok to choose how I want to live. People’s opinions and expectations are now off of my bucket list. Enjoy your sabbatical.

Another video saved in my Alecia wisdom playlist 😁

Girl I am right there with you. I am slowing down and enjoying the moments. Those are what will truly matter in the end.

I have never felt more seen in my life. God bless you and thank you for just being you. You are loved, validated, and appreciated as you are ❤❤❤

Get off of that wheel!!!! You are there already! You are hearing your soul talk to you. I’ve been there. When you started talking I saw myself in those exact words! Stop! Pump the brakes and Turn inward and know yourself. About 2 years ago I quit my job at 54 years old with 32 years in the game, with so much fear about my family. Saying I can’t because I’m the bread winner. Who’s going to take care of us? I had a total mental breakdown, because I’ve always been that person who held everything together for my whole family. My husband got a patio build on my house and that’s where I learned who I was. All of my worries started to subside, because I started focusing on all of those things that brought me down and why I feared them. Trust yourself, You Got It!!!!! Running behind the fish pole of money on the hook will never get you to your peace. Take Care Of Yourself. You Are Who You Are. Thank You for stating all of the words in my journal that I wrote down 2 years ago. I’m at Peace. Yes, sometimes that fear still creeps in but I remind myself, WE ARE GOOD!!!! 🤗

You are not alone sis I feel 💯 , just being ❤ omg you are a beautiful woman inside and out . I have to get this done and this and this by this time it has to look this way. I want to have fun I want to enjoy the process . I stepped out the house to get work done and I ended up at the restaurant talking to people girl I put my laptop down and just enjoyed being out the house because I needed it 😂❤

@Alecia we are truly heart twins. I was grappling with this AS YOU WERE POSTING. Realizing I’ve got more to let go to center my well-being.

. . . I'm here because I relate to you . . . I notice aspects of myself in you. Though I have never met you in person, I've spent time in your presence- I'm drained and I'm tired too- I see you're heart and you're soul. I l💗ve your being. I'm grateful that you are doing, and being vulnerable. I love you dear Alecia😊✨️

Thankful to her for making this "VERY SPECIFIC" topic video!!! Very Necessary Thank You!! 💛👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

Being okay with falling behind is a luxury I don’t have unfortunately.

I needed this im so drained!

You said so many things that are on my mind. I long for a simpler free flowing life..but I’m not sure how to attain that. But this that I have going on right now can’t be life.

I can relate to all of it. You are not alone, you haven’t lost your mind. This is the grief we inevitably feel in moving forward. The fear of losing everything because you can’t keep up a certain pace any longer, don’t want to do that to yourself any longer. In the journey of life we will always encounter the lostness of no man’s land…not what you were and not yet who you are becoming. Be so very gentle with yourself. ❤❤❤ Going to message you on IG 🙏🏽

Wow I resonate with this so much. I feel if I don’t slow down, I will get out of control. It seems like a rush with everything. Then when you rushed to get something you realize when you didn’t even want it fr . My partner literally told me you’re gonna have sleepless nights when you really want something . And in my mind I said baby I need sleep . I don’t believe in that anymore. Because if don’t get rest I can’t show up how I would like to. Thank you for being transparent. ❤

2:14 thisssssss! I feel guilty bc I’m not doing all of the spiritual “things” too. 😢

First. I ADORE your content. You make it easier for me to want to share. Thank you for your vulnerability Sis. ❤ Next. I logged off my therapy appointment just now and this popped up. I just listed out all of these points to my therapist and you just validated the mess out of me and how we collectively are all burnt out. I don’t know you personally but want to thank you deeply for being here and showing up into my feed 🫶🏽

Thank you for this video. I had you in my watch later playlist which I’m usually good at going back to. We cried together. I cried hella ugly lol but I crave nothing more than to just be. I got asked recently what my dreams were and I tried to put something that looked like productivity in that insert the blank. But my deep yearning is to just be. And I want this for EVERYONE on this planet. All living creatures to just be. That’s the purpose of alll my “work”. Thank you for letting me sit in this release. And be here.

Omg! I relate to how you are feeling! Big hugs. Another video I watched said we are all on a collective burnout.

Alecia, I vibe with what you’re saying completely. I said pretty much the same exact thing to a good friend of mine yesterday. I’m just tired. And I pray about it. I just keep hearing God say just create. Not creating for the money or accolades just create because you loved it. I’m currently on medical leave of absence for 45 days because of job stress. I wish this world could just get to a point where we could like you said just “be”.

I completely understand what you're saying and I feel the same about wanting to slow down so much that it makes people (and myself especially) uncomfortable so that I can reprogram myself to have slow as my default setting instead of all this running I've been doing for what seems like forever. It took a major health setback last month for me to sit down (because I couldn't do anything else) and it feels so good to ignore all of the things that I'm over here trying to figure out how to do more of that without pushing away my friends and family. I appreciate you sharing your experience and I KNOW that a breakthrough is coming as I watch you process these thoughts and feelings. This sabbatical is about to be life changing and I'm so excited for you 🧡🧡🧡

this is totally what i've been feeling lately. girl, you're on point. love it!

I’m praying you find peace and comfort 🦋🦋🦋

I simply ADORE you and your content, madam. You’re extremely relatable! 👑👏 (Greetings from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania)

It’s been so anxiety inducing to be slow omg we are the same person!!!