My Wife Divorced Me And I Became A MILLIONAIRE | BitLife
Рет қаралды 3,110,383
4 жыл бұрынMy wife divorced me so I hired a hitman. Then I became a millionaire! Clearly I have this whole BitLife thing figured out
Imagine Lifetimes: • I Dated My TEACHER In ...
SUB TO BE EPIC - kzfaq.info...
Become a Sponsor: kzfaq.infojoin
►Twitter : / jacksepticeye
►Instagram: / jacksepticeye
Edited by Pixlpit: / @aliceandchill
Outro animation created by Pixlpit:
/ pixlpit
Outro Song created by "Teknoaxe". It's called "I'm everywhere" and you can listen to it here
• TeknoAXE's Royalty Fre...
@LividiW 4 жыл бұрын
Jack: I'm gonna hire a hitman to kill my ex wife. Hitman: *Kills Ex wife* Jack: *Surprised pikachu*
@grimblegomble 4 жыл бұрын
Red green pikachu
@evanrobert175 4 жыл бұрын
It's because recently he had been denied the kill.
@owenkeating5287 4 жыл бұрын
Damn man that's deep 😆
@roellibres3222 4 жыл бұрын
Check the latest comment
@arham8079 4 жыл бұрын
Some poor old bloke: *breathes* Jack: “ HES FLEXING ON DEAD PEOPLE, HIPPITY HOPPITY YOUR LIFE IS MY HITMANS PROPERTY”
@user-tt4mi1bz6n 4 жыл бұрын
Outstanding move
@dravenronnow9462 4 жыл бұрын
maudi HD ui
@potato5929 4 жыл бұрын
Arham I K
@furious_115 3 жыл бұрын
father: dies stepfather: dies jack: CAN YA FEEL IT🕺🏾
@lubomirkubasdQw4w9WgXcQ 3 жыл бұрын
XD
@cartergrandison786 3 жыл бұрын
....this did not age well.....
@mariociocan677 3 жыл бұрын
@@cartergrandison786 no it did not...
@lucksin6500 3 жыл бұрын
@@cartergrandison786 neither jacks dad lol
@lincolnehret 3 жыл бұрын
rip sean’s actual dad :(
@vvkwan7372 3 жыл бұрын
“Can I kill my anxiety with a hitman”-jacksepticeye
@testingman1a797 3 жыл бұрын
AGENT 47,THE BEST MAN AT EXPUNGIN' HIS ENIME-
@revilno 3 жыл бұрын
A Hitman, going by the name “therapist” killed your anxiety with a nice chat
@smokinggnu6584 4 жыл бұрын
"I am dangerously close to bankruptcy, therefore i should BUY SOME STUFF!" Absolutely brilliant.
@eglorr2512 4 жыл бұрын
*Big Brain Moment*
@s1lvergrounds447 4 жыл бұрын
YOU DONT UNDERSTAND ITS BIG BRAIN YOU SHOULD HAVE Yoda reference there
@arsenelupin5424 4 жыл бұрын
Stonks
@Aura_Broz 4 жыл бұрын
Not stonks
@beefboss7922 4 жыл бұрын
Outstanding move
@Star-hr6mh 4 жыл бұрын
Jack: Im such a cool dude, Jack: Murders everybody- Jack: ....Hitmen wont even come within a mile of me anymore-
@zacharymiller5235 4 жыл бұрын
32
@totallydaeshawnware1119 4 жыл бұрын
hey jacksepticeye, please play or wild of wisps!
@anononymouspl4315 3 жыл бұрын
Paddy pickpocketed two people, hired several hitmen, attacked several people, burgled two peoples houses, stole two cars, killed one person during work with his teeth with several witnesses. He goes to court for assult for biting a biker and *gets away with it* . My character pinched someones arm at age 13 in primary school and she got arrested on the spot. No one would hire her after that.
@arthurgrayson3968 3 жыл бұрын
My constant achievement in this game was Jailbird.
@Leedler 3 жыл бұрын
Reminds me when I tried to kill somebody with a atomic wedgie, I got a life sentence.
@lisabrown4499 3 жыл бұрын
WOW. THAT FREAKIN SUCKS.
@internetchocolate6733 3 жыл бұрын
3 cars*
@dboggz6221 3 жыл бұрын
Dude…
@romansans1581 4 жыл бұрын
Jack when dating a police officer: “Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.”
@romansans1581 3 жыл бұрын
@@tonikyle5453 Don't ask me, man.
@isaiahthomas9817 3 жыл бұрын
@@romansans1581 did you just reply to someone who replied on your 8 month comment? That’s pretty pog
@romansans1581 3 жыл бұрын
@@isaiahthomas9817 Yeah man, I don't see why not lol.
@cans7043 2 жыл бұрын
-sun tzu
@sha4nvi 6 ай бұрын
his half sister is also chief of police 😭
@hippotripo6145 4 жыл бұрын
Jack: Why can’t I bite his skull? The biker wearing a helmet: I came prepared.
@grimreaper2680 4 жыл бұрын
Oh yeah I didn't think of it that way I guess that's why the option wasn't available
@poodids6348 4 жыл бұрын
I love how there was an option to bite his balls!
@kindakyana2372 4 жыл бұрын
@@poodids6348 *_kinky_*
@siei3i37 4 жыл бұрын
@Telly Phillips no
@owen7675 4 жыл бұрын
Sean: stubs his toe Sean: **hires a hitman for the wall**
@shavy7734 4 жыл бұрын
Why the fux you walking directly into a wall for? Lmao.
@FinesseAnims 4 жыл бұрын
@@shavy7734 cuz he wants the hitmen
@zepskee5194 4 жыл бұрын
shavy r/whooooooosh
@FinesseAnims 4 жыл бұрын
It’s Hazza r/ihavereddit
@plasmaticlmao 4 жыл бұрын
It’s Hazza r/ihavereddit
@keenanchandler4919 3 жыл бұрын
Jack: “Oh no! My wife suffered another miscarriage and lost the baby!” :( Also Jack: “Oh well, Let’s hire a hit man!”
@King_Luigi 4 жыл бұрын
17:04 - _"I umm, I... fell down some stairs!"_ _"Sir, this is clearly a stab wo--"_ *"I FELL DOWN SOME STAIRS!!"*
@TanuSharma0705 4 жыл бұрын
🔪🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸
@TanuSharma0705 4 жыл бұрын
💀
@TheCompleteMental 4 жыл бұрын
_"shut up before I throw you down a flight"_
@gcgdestinycalls7487 3 жыл бұрын
he fell on his lunch
@rubensaenz6012 3 жыл бұрын
17:14 is said you practiced safe s*x
@estandu1493 4 жыл бұрын
Jack: loses a lot of money in a casino Also jack: can i hire a hitman to kill the casino
@TheRealSephiroth 4 жыл бұрын
Need a small army for that trainwreck all the security theyd have and all the money hed need shit no person alive could afford it 😂
@explicationfc2713 4 жыл бұрын
Well the hitman will just give up quit kill jack:-:
@cc-yetti 3 жыл бұрын
@Andu Viljak you got a heart
@aidan312 4 жыл бұрын
Hitman: no we won’t kill your stepfather Jack: *fine I’ll do it myself*
@vader567 4 жыл бұрын
*Age : Fine I will do it myself
@inspi_123 4 жыл бұрын
**Diabetes: fine I'll do it myself*
@alliknowis6528 4 жыл бұрын
Alzheimers: *What were we doing again?*
@zedries 4 жыл бұрын
Diabetes
@pov3455 4 жыл бұрын
Paddy Fitzpatrick signature move:*BITES SKULL* Paddy Fitzpatrick finishing move:*BITES MOUTH*
@kosmeum3914 3 жыл бұрын
“Can I kill my anxiety with a hit man?” This is such a quarantine mood
@angrymandanthecommenter 2 жыл бұрын
Wtf, this is the top comment with 0(now one) replies and 5 likes
@jimmilton8333 2 жыл бұрын
@@angrymandanthecommenter I think it's because they're a member
@angrymandanthecommenter 2 жыл бұрын
@@jimmilton8333 ahhhhh, I see
@carbon5362 4 жыл бұрын
The Life of Ciara: When Ciara was in college she met a man who had just come out of a long relationship. They got to know each other better and one day he proposed. After they married they decided to start a family, but Ciara lost the baby. After that she started noticing her husband becoming more distant, more secretive. He didn't talk about work and he was always with strange men. As the years went by he worried about him and, after getting into a fight about his gambling problem, asked if he wanted to try again. She had another miscarriage and realized that she had wasted her life. She didn't trust her husband and decided she needed to follow her own path and free herself from him. She asked for a divorce and he attacked her, she defended herself and ran away to start a new life. One day as she was walking on the street with a man she had just met someone walking toward her pulled out a futuristic looking gun and shot her, then fled. The man she was with called the police and went to her side. As she bled out on the sidewalk she knew her past had caught up with her, Paddy had found her. She died minutes later.
@viupcake8062 4 жыл бұрын
Jaesus. I think my last BitLife may have been Ciara's if that's the case...
@ciaraboone 4 жыл бұрын
rip
@dyszmaj2088 4 жыл бұрын
Jesus Christ dude
@kroh7742 4 жыл бұрын
Futuristic gun.... You lost me there... Lmao
@nashvontookus7451 4 жыл бұрын
You forgot the part where she cheated on him
@xlewis4972 4 жыл бұрын
Random 3 year old: doesn’t say thank you after Jack holds the door for them. Jack: *calls a hitman*
@VFB. 4 жыл бұрын
*lemme get le ray gun!*
@johndrie3491 4 жыл бұрын
That's the Faddy Fitzpatrick way 😎😂
@Harish-hz9or 4 жыл бұрын
You are so wrong he would take the silenced pistol out of his boot and shoot the kid in the head
@cocoii5503 4 жыл бұрын
Lemme get my knife
@cocoii5503 4 жыл бұрын
@@johndrie3491 faddy lol
@AbhyasK29 4 жыл бұрын
Did anyone notice that whenever Jack tried in vain to “hitman” anyone, it just said: I had diabolical thoughts.
@abigailmcgowan7117 4 жыл бұрын
Paddy “ Oh wow, my dads both “accidentally” died. How did that happen 😏.” His mom “👀😐😶”
@ahzzzz687 3 жыл бұрын
didn't his mom like die at age 44
@Dr.HannibalLecterVIII 4 жыл бұрын
"Ciara's lookin' down from..." **pauses** **looks up** **abruptly looks down** "HELL."
@seancrowley5268 4 жыл бұрын
Wholock Fandom that’s the joke
@felicityspruce174 4 жыл бұрын
Jack: “I’m dangerously close to bankruptcy.” Also Jack: “Maybe I should buy some stuff?”
@UwU-ts3yb 4 жыл бұрын
Felicity Spruce if you have almost no money spend the rest on your money
@muhammadjojosari891 4 жыл бұрын
Upgrades people upgrades
@DarkShadic9632 3 жыл бұрын
He should BUY money!
@BigDickIbou 3 жыл бұрын
Lol so true. 😂🤣
@felicityspruce174 3 жыл бұрын
@@fluff2713 true. True.
@erlouwer 3 жыл бұрын
Jack: "I wanted to prank him not ruin his entire life" Also Jack: "let's kill him"
@ammoknight2064 3 жыл бұрын
his sister: *chief of police* patty who has committed at least 10 crimes: i’m gonna pretend i didn’t see that
@jonwall8747 4 жыл бұрын
Paddy’s answer to everything “I need a hitman.”
@VLU71 4 жыл бұрын
Someone: *farts* Seán: *calls hitman*
@icecreamkitty2735 4 жыл бұрын
They deserve to die for polluting the air
@Harew0lf 4 жыл бұрын
Thank god there’s amazing comments like this when we have all the self promoting bastards
@IA0544 4 жыл бұрын
Lightning Strike so everyone deserves to die
@icecreamkitty2735 4 жыл бұрын
@@IA0544 only if they are caught😁
@sellout_ninja972 4 жыл бұрын
Jack: it’s time for my signature move Me:oh shit Jack: I can’t bite his skull Me: thank god Jack: you know I will bite his lip Me: damn it
@MikhailYT 3 жыл бұрын
I'm more invested in Paddy Fitzpatrick's life then my own.
@TheSteve912 4 жыл бұрын
"Can I kill my anxiety with a hitman." Me too Jack... Me too...
@ciaraphipps7483 4 жыл бұрын
I wish
@Star-hr6mh 4 жыл бұрын
If we have meme time to cure our sadness- maybe there could be wholesome meme time- ease our anxiety
@sashanvandayar4045 4 жыл бұрын
Bit life: Your suffering from depression Jack: It's meme time!
@realusername4700 4 жыл бұрын
Sashan Vandayar good one
@youreadthisinyourmindright2604 4 жыл бұрын
The only cure for sadness
@superuanted1208 4 жыл бұрын
Ur a patreon
@jasoniusthebonius9948 4 жыл бұрын
@@superuanted1208 no shit sherlock
@sundigest1121 4 жыл бұрын
you're*
@nani-vl6ds 3 жыл бұрын
paddy being lucky and unlucky at the same time my character losing 96million on a divorce
@kanamamoru845 3 жыл бұрын
He went from 📉📉📉 to 📈📈📈 when he inherited the money and his step dad died. I could even feel his happiness through the screen
@wonk123 4 жыл бұрын
moral of the story: divorce makes you a millionare
@faoneill 4 жыл бұрын
Chase Brody Disagrees
@PurpleComrad 4 жыл бұрын
Only if you're a Billionaire
@namanrajesh2399 4 жыл бұрын
Jeff Bezos already knew this. 🤦🤦🤦
@avgvstvscaesar2437 4 жыл бұрын
Thanks I divorced my wife
@PippyPopsSelfHarmMonica 4 жыл бұрын
if only...
@gamerzgurl9291 4 жыл бұрын
"WHY DOES NO ONE WANT TO KILL MY STEPDAD?" "I want to murder my stepdad!" . . . . . "God this video is full of bad sentences."
@Aura_Broz 4 жыл бұрын
Sean should have just hit up Eminem for that one
@Emil_Stoltz 4 жыл бұрын
@@Aura_Broz I'm so happy someone said it! Everytime jack talked about killing paddy's stepdad I thought of "stepdad" by eminem.
@brooklynmclarnon3267 4 жыл бұрын
Hello
@Emil_Stoltz 4 жыл бұрын
@@brooklynmclarnon3267 Hewwo UwU!
@brooklynmclarnon3267 4 жыл бұрын
UWU what’s yo snap
@bingusmcgee3107 3 жыл бұрын
I love how this series went from him trying to get Paddy a girlfriend and a job to hiring hit men to kill his coworkers for farting and not talking to him.
@GrimReaper-rf1ku 4 жыл бұрын
*Jack:* Can I kill my anxiety with a hitman??? *Me:* No, you kill it with meme time...
@sammieculpepper1394 2 жыл бұрын
Oh my gosh yes
@epiksebastian3272 4 жыл бұрын
hey jack, here's a tip: everytime it says that no hitman wants to do the job, it's because you can only hire one per year.
@hunterthewrestler367 4 жыл бұрын
Jack: “goes on a killing spree and commits several crimes” Also jack: *gets a cop girlfriend and then proposes to her*
@elijahstone3285 4 жыл бұрын
Sounds like fucking Dexter 😂
@Leyveta1 4 жыл бұрын
@@elijahstone3285 it does tho...
@Cdawg619 4 жыл бұрын
Lol
@CA-ev2vf 4 жыл бұрын
True MAN
@elementhearts9810 4 жыл бұрын
His sister is also chief of police before he moved to Perth.......
@mayasnitz8663 3 жыл бұрын
“And my stepdad died” three seconds later happiness at 0% Dam bit life is wild
@MrChezzStudios 3 жыл бұрын
Jack: looks like he's coming up into his beautiful 50s. Also jack:so plenty more time to kill people.
@flutocorndog5457 4 жыл бұрын
Jack: “Can a hitman kill my anxiety?” Absolutely brilliant.
@itsteatime8447 4 жыл бұрын
*nervous virgil noises*
@shannongrummisch8881 4 жыл бұрын
well boys we did it, anxiety is no more.
@DefinitelyNotJay3705 4 жыл бұрын
Me at all the time
@azsumchovek1116 4 жыл бұрын
Can a hitman kill coronavirus
@flutocorndog5457 4 жыл бұрын
Azsum Chovek maybe I hope
@Jerkiplays 4 жыл бұрын
Jack: why does nobody wanna kill my step dad My mom: What the hell are you watching
@Emil_Stoltz 4 жыл бұрын
Do you have a step dad or?
@rain.reignz 4 жыл бұрын
LOL
@popscene12 4 жыл бұрын
lmao
@alexkrayons4450 4 жыл бұрын
That was literally my mom just now
@pizzatime7433 4 жыл бұрын
Your mom must be furious then
@angrymandanthecommenter 2 жыл бұрын
I wonder if the co-workers ever noticed that when Jack showed up everyone who wronged him in the slightest "disappeared" and as soon as he left to another country it all stopped, I wONdEr WhAT haPPened!?
@wanali4504 3 жыл бұрын
11:05 Jack: I bet Cara’s looking down from hell... U do know what that means, right?
@Jnrlionndogg 3 жыл бұрын
Hell is above
@leostqrs 4 жыл бұрын
Jack: “Why won’t anyone kill my stepdad” Me at the dinner table: **franticly untangles headphones** My mom: “Gimme your phone”
@daisy-m766 4 жыл бұрын
Why are you wearing headphones at the dinner table
@Qxincx 4 жыл бұрын
ITSMONKEY360 why not?
@leostqrs 4 жыл бұрын
ITSMONKEY360 why not luv?
@daisy-m766 4 жыл бұрын
Not.Weird _She is fair enough
@skigelibeli759 4 жыл бұрын
@@leostqrs funny comment! 😂 Edit: i send my positivity and love to all of you out there and hope you have a great day!
@trinity3631 4 жыл бұрын
Jack: *hires hitman to kill his ex-wife* Evelyn, Jack's girlfriend: *sweats nervously*
@deutschelehrer69 4 жыл бұрын
Wiishu, jack's ex: *panik*
@jeremiahismyname2814 4 жыл бұрын
It was paddy
@lostcolonyforge5792 4 жыл бұрын
Wait he has a girlfriend
@sonsonthegoddessofconfusio3183 4 жыл бұрын
@@lostcolonyforge5792 yup
@trinity3631 4 жыл бұрын
@@lostcolonyforge5792 And if she breaks up with him, he'll hire a hitman to kill her.
@ufta6627 3 жыл бұрын
that really relatable moment when your wife gets hit by a blimp
@c0rap554 3 жыл бұрын
Jack: "I am wildly upset that I can't kill Evan." Me, someone with the first name "Evan:" *"welp, gotta blast"*
@racerzombie 4 жыл бұрын
Jacksepticeye: Said he would never hurt a single human being Also him: hires a bunch of hitmen to kill everyone
@Aura_Broz 4 жыл бұрын
Technically, he isnt the one hurting them...
@reececampbell6067 4 жыл бұрын
Still not physically hurting anyone tho apart from that one person he bit the skull of tho
@randomstuff9005 4 жыл бұрын
I mean His half-sister is the chief of police lol.
@explicationfc2713 4 жыл бұрын
Lol
@skigelibeli759 4 жыл бұрын
@@Aura_Broz but he did also kill somebody by biting their skull.
@revananimations5769 3 жыл бұрын
No one.. Literally no one.. Jacksepticeye: the answer to all my problems is to hire a hitman
@pepperamiwinkie9554 4 жыл бұрын
When someone hurts Jack’s feelings: Jack: “So you want to die” Also him “rhetorical question”
@itismwah8811 4 жыл бұрын
“Faddy Fitzpatrick” Now that’s not very nice Jack
@mareh6731 4 жыл бұрын
Jack: "I am running dangerously close to bankruptcy." Also Jack: "So maybe I should buy some stuff." *Yes but also No*
@YouSmellStale 4 жыл бұрын
Satan Lol me on a weekend
@mareh6731 4 жыл бұрын
@@YouSmellStale If I understood I would reply.
@josephstalin7090 4 жыл бұрын
Satan why to do u have 800 subs and I only have 90! Wtf is this Satan you making deals with the devil?!
@ryanmclean3956 4 жыл бұрын
Satan are you the same person on twitter? (i think its twitter its probably not)
@rimix360plays2 4 жыл бұрын
He just said that at the same I read this 😂
@Hannah-ql2no 4 жыл бұрын
"AND MY STEPDAD DIED!" i cried ahahahaha
@level_somewhere 4 жыл бұрын
Petition for Paddy Fitzpatrick to be another one of Jack's egos
@dojyaaan5814 4 жыл бұрын
Wife: *divorces him* Jack: *gets rich* Wife: Hey I’m sorry what had happened.
@ilyhuwu1330 4 жыл бұрын
Dojyaaan true gold digger
@PomegranateParadox 4 жыл бұрын
didn't he kill her with a hitman before he got rich?
@jakecarswell6023 4 жыл бұрын
*BoomerAlert*
@scaregaming1329 4 жыл бұрын
@@jakecarswell6023 UGLY ALERT
@ignoremypaststupidity2719 4 жыл бұрын
Dojyaaan ahh yes, she’s such a gold digger she came back from the dead
@qwikblade9303 4 жыл бұрын
"I inherited 808,000 euro?!" "AND MY STEPDAD DIED" "Can you feel it, can you feel it, can you feel it, doo doo doo, doo doo doo!"
@banjoman8953 4 жыл бұрын
Me: Sees that Jack has a nephew named Ben Also Me: YESSS!! BELL OF RELATSHIONSHIP
@janaeleroux 3 жыл бұрын
Jack: I bet Ciara is looking down right now from h... Me: Heaven? Jack: HELL.
@user-ec2wi5fe7b 4 жыл бұрын
“All this murder is making me hungry” -Jacksepticeye 2020
@sajidakhtar907 4 жыл бұрын
Hmmm, Cannibalism?
@chord8003 4 жыл бұрын
Gacha is still relevant?
@barronsimmons1230 4 жыл бұрын
Unbelievable Jello I guess so
@pizzatime7433 4 жыл бұрын
Jeffrey dahmer would like a word with you jack
@noitsnot239 4 жыл бұрын
@@chord8003 whats gacha?
@MistressAly 4 жыл бұрын
Jack: *Murdering all of the co-workers* Jack: "Hey let's talk about random stuff" Evan: * Drowning in work cuz office is drastically understaffed* Evan: "Naw, I'm too busy." Jack: "HOW DARE HE!!!!!!"
@judewalsh801 3 жыл бұрын
Nobody: Jack: I WANNA BE A GOGO DANCER!!
@butchblom6803 2 жыл бұрын
I LOVE lil bit of bitlife. Jack, you are THE best youtuber personily. Thanks for the awesome content.
@glitchtrap9112 4 жыл бұрын
Anti: I WANT TO KILL JACKSEPTICEYE jack: hires Hitman to kill almost everyone that wronged him Anti: I always encouraged jack and I'm really proud of what he is now Edit: thanks for 753 likes everyone!
@inspi_123 4 жыл бұрын
Definition of "almost": everyone except for his stepfather because no hitman dared to even lay their gaze on him within 10 miles
@kizi3339 4 жыл бұрын
😂
@jamessantana4265 4 жыл бұрын
What an inspiration
@sad_hedgehog 4 жыл бұрын
YES
@loneliest808 4 жыл бұрын
Glitch Trap So I play fortnite and I’m grinding really hard and I’m 15 if you could check me out appreciate it I’m a smooth player thx ❤️
@CartoonCreature 4 жыл бұрын
Jack: "Can I kill my anxiety with a hitman?" **nervous Virgil noises**
@Wren_C 4 жыл бұрын
Dont worry, Virge. You have a protection squad to keep you safe.
@donks7300 4 жыл бұрын
Nice seeing Sander Side fans here
@ivyg1515 4 жыл бұрын
Liar! Virgil would never pass up the oppurtunity to die >:v
@CartoonCreature 4 жыл бұрын
@@ivyg1515 I believe you mean FALSEHOOD!!!!
@Wren_C 4 жыл бұрын
Ivy G :O You’re right! *Ahem *DEcEIt!*
@DoomedStatue_ 3 жыл бұрын
Plot twist paddy fitzpatrick is really Sean but he looksyoung he only moved to get away from his past life and start anew
@dakotab2175 2 жыл бұрын
WHAT ARE THE CHANCES 23:40
@Sprizys 4 жыл бұрын
"I INHERITED 808,000 EURO AND MY STEP DAD DIED!" 😂😂 I never thought I'd heard someone so excited about someone dying
@slydogs8765 4 жыл бұрын
I know right xD
@rachalwithana7099 Жыл бұрын
jack's reaction to his stepfather's death gets me every time
@Stinker7 3 жыл бұрын
21:30 Gemma:your a perfect 10! Jack: awww thanks! your also... good
@ripry2241 4 жыл бұрын
In BitLife I went on a murder spree and killed everyone my character knew, all his family and friends he escaped from prison countless times. And then he got sentenced to death by electric chair
@DONTDISLIKEMYVIDEOS 4 жыл бұрын
electric chair? YES I WANT TO BE THE FIRST !!!
@caelummccartin4310 4 жыл бұрын
sounds like call me kevin
@LucksinRiver 4 жыл бұрын
Really? So they finally added death sentence Before you used to go to prison for 100000 fucking years lmao
@trishalennex4630 4 жыл бұрын
Vinder Alexander to be fair though in real life you can be sentenced way longer than any human should be able to live
@galaxychar 4 жыл бұрын
Vinder Alexander - It depends where the country is and whether they have the death sentence or not
@radaloui9312 4 жыл бұрын
"my happiness is down to 10%" is a great meme template.
@wsliv4611 4 жыл бұрын
Biting someone would leave forensic evidence of the assault/ murder, SEAN!
@Moraenil 4 жыл бұрын
LOVING this Bitlife series Sean! Yours is so much funnier than the one I'm doing. I was given a black guy in Alabama (complete opposite of me), had him be a real troublemaker in school, but then he straightened himself out in the military, got a degree, was forced to retire and is currently 69, married, in graduate school with 30 kids (yes 30, with 4 different women) and 7 grand kids. Looking forward to your next installment! Feel better! :D
@gnome. 4 жыл бұрын
Somebody: *sneezes* Hitman: ''Ah shit, here we go again''
@-dino_go_rawr-184 3 жыл бұрын
It’s funny how I Cana go from full on sobbing to laughing when I watch your videos😊
@mohammadshreef8178 4 жыл бұрын
No one : Jack: It's me, jackSEEpticye 🤣🤣🤣
@conorhernon4691 4 жыл бұрын
"I'm running close on bankruptcy, maybe I should buy some stuff!" - JackSepticEye 2020
@conorhernon4691 4 жыл бұрын
UltraGeo that is indeed the content of my comment
@clip_it_greenie1262 4 жыл бұрын
Lol
@adampierzchaa218 3 жыл бұрын
I sometimes come back to this series and it makes my day. It’s so funny
@beowulf1658 3 жыл бұрын
As someone that lives in Perth it’s so weird for him to talk about it
@anisaelmatschi 4 жыл бұрын
Me: "hmm, Jack didn't upload a video today" KZfaq One minute later: **jacksepticeye has uploaded a video**
@cosmic_607 4 жыл бұрын
Same here 😂
@Jerkiplays 4 жыл бұрын
Internet:30 year old found dead
@thomas_1996 4 жыл бұрын
I think still old video like last week ago look at challenge ghostbusters. Yesterday bitlife new update luxury stuff.
@absinthe7266 4 жыл бұрын
So KZfaq on crack again. Uploaded one minute ago, comments 7 minutes ago. Makes sense
@Fin_Eetu 4 жыл бұрын
Someone: *literally just farts* Jack: ”HITMAN!!!!!”
@afrokween8752 4 жыл бұрын
@@aalievanderplaats5406 So you have chosen death...
@TheRealSephiroth 4 жыл бұрын
@@afrokween8752 i got this one! 🔫😈 Please deposit 1 like = $1,000,000 👇😉
@jamestudio2014 3 жыл бұрын
Jacksepticeye: 20:27 thats the sound of me and Gemma doing the horizontal shuffle DanTDM:
@trippyshrimp8598 3 жыл бұрын
Coworker: Breathes Jack: I’m calling up Hannibal
@Mumble86 4 жыл бұрын
Has $41k in the bank. Sean: " I'm dangerously close to bankruptcy." My bank account: "Am I a joke to you?"
@kayleighstevenson 4 жыл бұрын
Game: You're suffering from anxiety Jack: "Can I hire a hitman to kill it?" LMAO 😂. But honestly though, wish I could do that.
@yushakader4991 4 жыл бұрын
Maybe you could if you hired Doomslayer He can kill literally anything
@maxeast1139 4 жыл бұрын
Hay jack it would be grand if you lived a happy with your wife so dont murder people behind her back
@sam-man9064 4 жыл бұрын
Dragonmaster76 Can he kill Kratos?
@leilachu 4 жыл бұрын
You can you get rid of yourself and the anxiety is gone
@kayleighstevenson 4 жыл бұрын
@@leilachu Damn dark lol
@ba2.0T 4 жыл бұрын
21:42 Thank you Jemma, I think that you are also.....Good...😂
@joellemiddelkamp 4 жыл бұрын
When you started singing Can you feel it, i really couldnt hold it anymore😂😂😂😂😂
@ballisticgamer5399 4 жыл бұрын
Jacksepticeye: runs out of money from buying hitmen Also jack: I'm am once again asking for ur financial support
@llamaswagking 4 жыл бұрын
Patty’s two fathers die Jack: “Can you feel it, Can you feel it!”
@flintlockwood25 4 жыл бұрын
That hitman Anton Chigurh is the villain from No Country For Old Men
@oliverthgibson4018 2 жыл бұрын
Jack : my dad died ima bury him Also jack : I just inherited 800,000 euros Also also jack( dances when stepdad dies)
@tanjp8851 4 жыл бұрын
Me: *eating pancakes and minding my own business* Jack: *looks me straight in the eye* "I wanna check out Uranus"
@sendhelp6904 4 жыл бұрын
The title sounds like one of those “Actually happened” stories
@CatholicWeeb 4 жыл бұрын
*_Lights a Cigar_* "They're all lies!"
@Blueyfanaticcc 4 жыл бұрын
I fucked my dog then the dog fucked his child's children
@elishayoung6508 4 жыл бұрын
my dad divorced and gave me a secret juice and then i became wolverine
@natedogforreal8531 4 жыл бұрын
Meow (I had sex with my step sister but she’s really my real sister)
@randomdeadacc8633 4 жыл бұрын
OML YESSSS
@h8urfacem827 3 жыл бұрын
Did no one notice the "I looked at some butts" at 14:48? Lmao
@poticklenana3990 2 жыл бұрын
Jack: smiles as he says " i now live in perth" Everyone is perth: laughing at the irish man because it's funny being brutally honest
@maia_0975 4 жыл бұрын
Jack: All this murder is making me hungry! Also Jack: *keeps biting people's skulls* Me: You sure?
@DONTDISLIKEMYVIDEOS 4 жыл бұрын
i am better then howtobasic
@itjustscythe 4 жыл бұрын
Jack: *Sneaks out of jail* Guard: *heard a clap* Jack: The clap of my intro had alerted the guards!
@natedogforreal8531 4 жыл бұрын
(Metal Gear Solid Alert sound intensifies)
@connorinuzuka8319 Жыл бұрын
"AND MY STEP-DAD DIED!" is a sentence I never thought I'd hear so energetically said
@ethanbarnard8252 3 жыл бұрын
jack ''my wife got hit by a hot air balloon'' also jack ''my wife just left me
Jason Derulo
Рет қаралды 29 МЛН
ЧЕЛОВЕК-САМОВАР
Рет қаралды 349 М.
DH Animation RUS
Рет қаралды 1,6 МЛН
Fаceless
Рет қаралды 172 М.