Why I Leave the Toilet Seat Up

Why I Leave the Toilet Seat Up | Jeff Allen

Рет қаралды 137,974

Күн бұрын

Comedian Jeff Allen on leaving the toilet seat up.
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jeffallencomedy... Another great clip from the hilarious DVD, Bananas Featuring Jeff Allen.
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Пікірлер: 95

@davidcrosby3125 Жыл бұрын

I'm a married man of 24 yrs and I approve this message!

@LGSkywalker82 4 жыл бұрын

Hilarious even after seeing this all before... why? Because it's all TRUE!

@debispilker4392 4 жыл бұрын

Thanks for the clean comedy!

@okbuddha 3 жыл бұрын

I don’t know… it is toilet humor….

@janpeterman9475 2 жыл бұрын

He is so funny. He was just in Phx last weekend and I had prior commitment and couldn’t go. I hope he comes back this way.

@reubenmarchant2229 4 жыл бұрын

My grandmother said women should look before the sit anywhere. She said she learn to do this when she sat on her knitting needles.

@susanjohnson9795 3 жыл бұрын

Yes I rewatch him all the time. He knows how to get to the heart of life and make me laugh, sometimes to tears.

@accordionchick 4 жыл бұрын

Haha... I fixed that situation after I fell in the toilet one night....I covered the bowl with Saran Wrap so when HE went in... in the middle of the night... the pee bounced off the Saran Wrap and right back at him! No more seat up after that!!!🤣🤣🤣

@badlandskid 4 жыл бұрын

My ex tried that... I just left the pee on the Saran Wrap and the floor. We never fought about that again. 👍🏼

@Winnie-Kay 4 жыл бұрын

@@badlandskid,haha, you never fought again lol. Yeah, because she smartened up and left.

@badlandskid 4 жыл бұрын

Winnie Kay yep... trained her well.

@USSResolute 4 жыл бұрын

I'll bet that created more harmony in your marriage.

@scottsatterthwaite4073 4 жыл бұрын

I would have finished the job and handed you a mop.

@morehn 4 жыл бұрын

I put it down because my toothbrush fell in once and now I'm traumatized forever

@weaponizedmath4369 3 жыл бұрын

Trauma should have only happened if you used it afterwards.

@morehn 3 жыл бұрын

@@weaponizedmath4369 weelll...

@Music-lx1tf 4 жыл бұрын

Hey Jim Gaffigan don't you wish you were half as funny as Jeff Allen

@keithnorris8982 3 жыл бұрын

I'm single. When a woman uses my bathroom I always say, "Don't forget to put the seat up after you use the toilet." :-)

@rosered9029 4 жыл бұрын

Yeah...being thoughtful, loving and kind is just too easy and shallow. As many would agree, we learn far more from our mistakes!🐌🐌🐌🐌🐌🐌🐛🦋

@michaelthomas4275 4 жыл бұрын

Man I've been a fan of you since i starred making changes in my life 3 years ago. Love your comedy lol and dang look at that beautiful hair 😆

@pamelacolvin1417 4 жыл бұрын

I raised 3 boy's so I expect the toilet seat to be up. I don't even say anything about it. It doesn't bother me. I'm afraid they're going to be in trouble when they get married 😄

@carlaaustin7223 4 жыл бұрын

Oh no someone is going to be in trouble. My boys knew to put yhe seat down. It's my brother in law who hasn't grasped the concept after being married to my sister for 18 years. I spent the night at her house and at 2 AM in the morning I hit cold water and was already releasing so there was nothing to do but hold the rim of the toilet bowl and think fire should strike my brother in law. I was furious.

@bobwaldron420 3 жыл бұрын

I was raised with 3 sisters & a mother. I was trained at an early age to put the seat & lid down. Still do it.

@a_llama 3 жыл бұрын

@@carlaaustin7223 everyone has to accommodate you eh?

@MalcomMalediction 2 жыл бұрын

@@carlaaustin7223 talk about being an entitled karen, you think u can go to ur brother-in-law's house and dictate to him how he can use his washrooms? bish plz LOL.

@jdbjoshua 4 жыл бұрын

Well Ladies the good thing about going in the bathroom and seeing the toilet seat up is knowing that he didn't sprinkle on your seat, you just put the seat down and it's all nice and dry

@bettyhouk8727 4 жыл бұрын

joshua deatherage 👍❤️👏🏼 GOT IT ! See woman do learn something ! However the Toilet seat (up or down ) issue is just a strategy to keep you boy’s in line ! Woman always look before They set down ,to make sure you remember to flush ! 👍👏🏼💕👵🏻

@ddebenedictis 3 жыл бұрын

Also, when checking for frogs or snakes, it's pretty easy to notice if the seat needs to be lowered.

@Christine-777 2 жыл бұрын

@@ddebenedictis 😂🤣 Oh my goodness! I never thought of, or looked for, frogs! Lol I've always done a quick, fearful glance for rats and snakes! 😳😲🥺😫

@steveng1624 4 жыл бұрын

Jeff is something else with his comedy

@carlaaustin6054 3 жыл бұрын

He's so funny.

@trainliker100 7 ай бұрын

As an engineer, the answer to the toilet seat dilemma is simple. Leave it however it was last used. It is unknown if the NEXT use will require up or down. If it requires the same state, then the toilet seat will not have to be raised or lowered. This saves time when those probabilities occur and there is less wear and tear on the hinges.

@tedjaromin2421 4 жыл бұрын

Words of wisdom

@dennishochstetler1653 3 жыл бұрын

Relatable!

@AMindInOverdrive 3 жыл бұрын

Most of the time I leave it down, but from time to time I do the opposite and leave it up. Then at night, she goes in half asleep and almost falls into the toilet (expecting the seat to be down)...I can tell because she screams. Admittedly I've almost fallen in a few times myself, but it's totally worth it

@WriterSeasonReason 4 жыл бұрын

Splash! Splash! Always wakes me up!

@Spirantizer 4 жыл бұрын

I like this guy. First saw him on drybar....wow, same material for 30 years. I don't know if I should applaude timeless humour, or say dude, get new material. Lol

@johnglover5071 4 жыл бұрын

Good stuff!!

@tedphillips2501 4 жыл бұрын

If she thanks you for leaving the seat down, don't let her know you really do it for the cat.

@TheDano1947 3 жыл бұрын

Turn the lights on ladies, problem solved.

@MrMauidiver 4 жыл бұрын

Modern day hermann munster.

@simosc2 4 жыл бұрын

Lol...You are right.

@sillywamosir 4 жыл бұрын

LOL i can't unsee that now =))

@gland1830 2 жыл бұрын

That's why I'm single.

@jonevans5084 4 жыл бұрын

Why do I leave the seat up? I paid the mortgage...it’s my toilet seat!😎

@brighteyes4020 4 жыл бұрын

I'm a woman... and even I can't deny it 😂

@zacariasblanco9738 4 жыл бұрын

Thank you

@carlaaustin7223 4 жыл бұрын

I enjoy his humor. Toilet seat is a crucial step in our house. I set in toilet water someone is in trouble.

@user-zt2vf6vx7p 2 жыл бұрын

That's why I installed a back up camera on my wife.

@MalcomMalediction 2 жыл бұрын

u sit in toilet water, only u r in trouble karen.

@authentic1only720 Жыл бұрын

The back in to the toilet seat was Sinbad jk

@Sheri77 6 ай бұрын

This video is the youngest I've seen him in.

@yesorno1768 3 жыл бұрын

I prefer the toilet seat up that way I don’t have to sit down on a peed on toilet seat!

@yepper1165 4 жыл бұрын

I never got why it was perfectly fine for a man to have to pick the seat up but it's awful for a woman to have to put it down.

@always_b_natural703 4 жыл бұрын

Yepper 11 The lid should be put down every time. Otherwise bacteria sprays all over. Yup, your toothbrush is being sprayed with fecal matter.

@saber-jocky3436 4 жыл бұрын

@@always_b_natural703 Your toothbrush is covered with it either way. Didn't you ever watch mythbusters? If you have indoor plumbing, there is fecal matter throughout your home, no matter what you do with the toilet seat. It's a fact of life.

@sheilasullivan1950 2 жыл бұрын

Grew up with Dad and four brothers so got used the ..check first! No 9ne died or had a coniption. Common sense solves everything.

@MalcomMalediction 2 жыл бұрын

@@always_b_natural703 If ur a hypochondriac afraid of germs, then you are gonna have a bad time cuz bacteria is everywhere...and we have bacteria living inside us in a symbiotic relationship. Its called the microbiome and without it you will die. Chill the fk out.

@weaponizedmath4369 4 жыл бұрын

Always an old argument, so before we sit in a public bathroom men/woman don't we check before we sit ?

@bawhatever5260 4 жыл бұрын

Because you dribble down your legs look!!

@calvinjohnson7806 3 жыл бұрын

Nice funny

@rayboy7922 4 жыл бұрын

🤣😅😂😅🤣😅

@BrianHughes777 Жыл бұрын

🤣🤣🤣 what year is this?

@nancyanderson6404 3 жыл бұрын

Sooooooo true and im a woman! Hilarious!!!

@johnbutler3141 4 жыл бұрын

If she really loved you she would put the seat up when she is finished.

@laurencegoldman4639 4 жыл бұрын

It’s a good idea to not only keep the seat down, but keep the lid down. Why? Why do you think. Here’s a hint. It’s a good idea to clean and disinfect the whole toilet. Especially if you’re living with other people.

@Jehucurliss2kings Жыл бұрын

Reminds me of my drinkn days. Every few years I'd visit my folks small hometown. Once I went in the little bar and someone had gotten cute with the bathroom gender assignment signs. (This was way before gender reassignment). I had forgotten which door was which. One said "pointers" and the other said "sitters". Well I've been drinking so I'm lil confused. I looked at "pointers" and I thought of a well developed woman so I stupidly went into "sitters". And left the seat up. So local gal shortly later comes out of there screaming "WHO IS THE M" THERF*^%'# WHO LEFT THE DAM SEAT UUUUUUP !!!" One lady laughingly yelled back WADADJA DO.....FALL IN ?!! HA HA HA " And she yelled back YAAA I FELL IN !!! The place fell out

@USSResolute 4 жыл бұрын

At least Jeff Allen's wife knows he makes fun of her. Plenty of married people make fun of or complain about their spouses to coworkers and friends and then feed only positive tripe to their spouse when they are face to face. At least, that's what my ex wife did.

@buddhistandcatholic Ай бұрын

Never settle for anything less than a kind woman. An unkind woman will make your life miserable and an ok woman is not worth the effort

@carlhursh9692 3 жыл бұрын

Women must not have sense enough to LOOK at the toilet seat. Is it pitch black in your bathroom?

@davebb36 4 жыл бұрын

I leave the seat up because im not a slave to my wife. And if she is incapable of putting it down, i will teach her

@massabielle2821 4 жыл бұрын

Dave BB : Wow, dude. Do you beat your chest, and drag your knuckles when you walk?

@franciskowalski783 4 жыл бұрын

Little things like this grow, swell up and fester inside one. Arguments then arise, again and again. Then you don’t talk to one another. No sex. Not condoning it, guys cheat on their wives. Nothing to laugh about here. 🙁

@Naynay1160 4 жыл бұрын

iron skillet will solve the problem

@bettyhouk8727 4 жыл бұрын

Renee Men are just little boys in big bodies ! Rather than an iron skillet 🍳 try psychologically ! Plant the seed idea in his mind ,sit back in time he will think 🤔 he thought of it himself ! Eve our Queen Mother knew this when She asked Adam “Sweetheart do you think those pretty Apples 🍎 are edible ? The seed was planted ,Adam had to “Think on it “ (for a week or so ) Then He said “ yah ! But Not the green ones “ Eve smiled and stirred up the Apple 🍎 sauce ! GOD SAID TO EVE YOU ARE GOOD ! Eve replies “It’s just something I thought of while peeling the Apples “ “I call it PSYCHOLOGICAL MIND CONTROL “ POPS ! God my little girl

@custerranch 4 жыл бұрын

Maybe, but who wants to pee in an iron skillet?

@oldmcdonald9582 4 жыл бұрын

jeff needs new material. same jokes hes had 20 years later

@bettyhouk8727 4 жыл бұрын

jim mcdonald , Maybe so but he is so cute who really cares! And as he aged along with his jokes ,he is so lovable doing his little skits ! Tammy you did good ! ( his wife is Tammy )

@iskandertime747 4 жыл бұрын

Yeah, I don't get it...just close the lid when you are done. That's why there's a lid.

@Spirantizer 4 жыл бұрын

Are you trying to keep the contents fresh? What are you storing in there? Why does it need a lid?

@iskandertime747 4 жыл бұрын

@@Spirantizer I'm trying to keep my bathroom fresh. Close the lid.

@kevinvitale8980 4 жыл бұрын

Right because a toilet lid works like Tupperware

@iskandertime747 4 жыл бұрын

@@kevinvitale8980 why are you looking for reasons to leave your toilet lid up?

@Winnie-Kay 4 жыл бұрын

@@aliceshaw8265, closing the lid minimizes spray from the flush. And if you leave your toothbrush in a cup on the sink, think about it next time you flush with the lid up, and then turn around to brush your teeth

@SonShines1 4 жыл бұрын

Because you're a guy

@billstidams6658 4 жыл бұрын

And then people wonder why millennials aren’t getting married.. cause their smarter than we where at that age ..that’s why! 😂

@holylandfan3275 4 жыл бұрын

I'm not a fan of someone that belittles his wife. I'm sure he's a joy to live with.

@mbyrd6713 2 жыл бұрын

That’s what makes him a little difficult to watch. He was terrible to his wife and his kids and then he makes jokes about their behavior. I don’t watch videos about his kids because it looks like the only reason they were so disrespectful was because they learned it from him.