John Mulaney: “My Body Is Bad at Sports”

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4 жыл бұрын

John Mulaney admits he’s always struggled with math and explains what it’s like to be a benchwarmer.
Original airdate: April 3, 2009
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Пікірлер: 525

@elliewithnospecialuser 4 жыл бұрын

John Mulaney wearing a button up shirt is the equivalent of any other comedian wearing a dirty tank top and sweatpants

@therflowerthatcallednowher366 4 жыл бұрын

Sooo Pete Davidson

@lilymcmenemy9231 4 жыл бұрын

I AGREE AGGSGSGSGSGA WHERE AEE THE S U I T S JOHN

@bunnyfernwood 4 жыл бұрын

The jeans really fucked me up lol

@gracealyssa28 3 жыл бұрын

He’s basically naked

@hadleelandis553 3 жыл бұрын

Amanda B saaaaame

@notgoodwithnames78 4 жыл бұрын

I vote that he runs straight past her. Imagine the utter confusion.

@Draconicus702 3 жыл бұрын

He couldn't, they were at the end of the hallway... i mean i don't know where they were supposed to be going if tge hallway just ended. But he said it was the end of hall so...

@braxtona.wetherell9881 3 жыл бұрын

Draconicus the Reaper in the subway once you get to a certain point the hallway ends. Then there are trains that you get on

@Skiddlescout 3 жыл бұрын

@@Draconicus702 if they reached a dead end, he should have continued on and sat in the corner, tell her to run, and start charging the wall

@kara2125 3 жыл бұрын

or just tap the wall and run the other way just as fast

@salzkuuu 3 жыл бұрын

I mean the hallways don’t just go on and end for no reason. So I think the other train track was next to the end of the hallway

@audrey4506 4 жыл бұрын

So proud that the Asian American women are finally getting recognized in comedy

@kaylareesey 4 жыл бұрын

I'm screaming

@kushagraverma7509 4 жыл бұрын

Big day for Asian American women and tall children.

@megrjay 4 жыл бұрын

don’t forget lgbt also!! i love the representation

@Whizzerbrownstboyswag 4 жыл бұрын

Meme Master I don’t think it is a woooosh, I’m pretty sure everyone got the joke.

@aegis062 4 жыл бұрын

it's not that they don't recognize them it's just that many of them aren't at that level of funny. Comedy is probably the most honest business because no one will cheer for someone who isn't good and even if they are famous they can still get booed off stage for having a bad stand up session. comedy has no boarders or colors your either funny or your not.

@interstate366 4 жыл бұрын

“I’m still afraid of being kidnapped.” But if he was, he could have used his STREET SMARTS!

@dickvandyke1209 4 жыл бұрын

Oh, but nothing bad ever happens to men.

@danterodriguez03 4 жыл бұрын

Is because he forgets the paperclip and money

@_iamnotsober 4 жыл бұрын

Dick Van Dyke bad things happen to men rather often. the thing is, statistically, the perpetrator is also usually a man.

@woahwhereami4022 4 жыл бұрын

Dick Van Dyke oh your one of those people

@_iamnotsober 4 жыл бұрын

Dante Rodriguez money clip*

@thebeatnumber 4 жыл бұрын

This guy has looked 21 all his life.

@cryspbacon 4 жыл бұрын

thebeatnumber - 21 is pushing it 😂

@mex1canseafood 4 жыл бұрын

@@cryspbacon yah fr, wbk he hasn't aged a day past 14

@Liam-yk2zl 3 жыл бұрын

I mean I’m jealous bc I’m bald at 20 🤷🏻‍♂️

@therealmykag 3 жыл бұрын

Asian women age gracefully

@adriiiiian 3 жыл бұрын

He looks like... 7 here lmao I love it

@mehakoberoi1813 4 жыл бұрын

I love how he's enough of a legend to have his pieces published 11 years after they were filmed

@CataclysmiCCalyx 4 жыл бұрын

“Legend” ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

@weirdskyreallyweird.5519 4 жыл бұрын

DoctorDoom he’s definitely getting there. He has a very distinct style of comedy, and he’s generally well respected by other comedians and viewers.

@jaredknapp6832 4 жыл бұрын

Also they're running out of good ideas. Shame it took 'em this long to post this.

@UncleYis 4 жыл бұрын

And yet he doesn’t even look younger

@SloppyballsMcGuillicutty 3 жыл бұрын

and 11 years later they’re still relevant !

@toproductions3931 4 жыл бұрын

Can’t tell if the Trump joke aged horribly or very well

@IstasPumaNevada 4 жыл бұрын

It aged well, it's just incomplete now. Just make the hobo part go on longer: "And then, I will become president! And I'll tell all those damn Muslims to go home! And if anyone ever tells me no, I'll fire them too! And I'll have my own news organization that recognizes me as the genius that I am!"

@cryspbacon 4 жыл бұрын

TOProductions - it needs to be revisited

@turb___ 3 жыл бұрын

IstasPumaNevada “then i’ll commit a few crimes and get away with it!”

@dodie3412 3 жыл бұрын

Jaclyn B “a few” is an understatement

@SAILOREARTH89 3 жыл бұрын

it aged well

@weirdskyreallyweird.5519 4 жыл бұрын

Ok but I’ve heard people who study trump like, seriously and psychologically, literally refer to him as a poor mans idea of a rich man. Kind of impressive that John Mulaney came to that conclusion as a comedian in 2008

@EV-wp1fj 4 жыл бұрын

Mulaney himself comes from money. Not a judgment, just something it seems is in his background. He probably knows how rich people act, and saw Trump for what he is: A guy who made "rich" his brand, versus behaving like an actual rich person does.

@lavendelchen 3 жыл бұрын

in the 2008

@weirdskyreallyweird.5519 3 жыл бұрын

Lavendelchen I have no idea what you’re talking about 🤫

@lavendelchen 3 жыл бұрын

@@weirdskyreallyweird.5519 😂

@ridgeshepherd4746 3 жыл бұрын

Impressive that he took an old money attitude and spun a joke from it? I'm glad psychologist know that if a poor person ever got money they'd be Trump.

@Pratzz1312 4 жыл бұрын

This tall boy with feminine hips is hella hilarious

@elliewithnospecialuser 4 жыл бұрын

The tall child needs rest though

@menicman7044 4 жыл бұрын

He needs to get a bigger shirt though, he's wearing a pretty *little* one.

@waldoewhskepwkdjobutiwaski5517 4 жыл бұрын

You mean the asian american woman

@Whizzerbrownstboyswag 4 жыл бұрын

Prativa Dass!! He sensitive about that!

@nehaprasanth5205 4 жыл бұрын

THATS THE THING HES SENSITIVE ABOUT!

@jennickarhea 4 жыл бұрын

Wait it did not include the “my body is bad at sports” joke... i was waiting for it. :))

@sylph8005 4 жыл бұрын

Clickbait

@oliver27070 4 жыл бұрын

Same

@portlandgoose4727 4 жыл бұрын

Because this is rehashed content that was already uploaded years ago and they had to come up with a new title to entice John's fans to watch it, thinking it's new content they haven't seen.

@RestingBitchface7 4 жыл бұрын

It was the name of the show.

@jennickarhea 4 жыл бұрын

@@portlandgoose4727 No but "My body is bad at sports" is an actual joke he made in The Top Part (special). All of these jokes were part of that, too, so they're all in the same era.

@oddaudsparkle2528 3 жыл бұрын

The woman: 😱 John Mulaney: she hear the choo choo

@demonatic7258 3 жыл бұрын

Chu chu

@unethicaldrinkingwater 2 жыл бұрын

@@demonatic7258 I’m a train

@animationsage Жыл бұрын

Cho Cho Charles is coming So she be running

@rosenzauber4839 4 жыл бұрын

"Oh, I am an adult now" Felt that 😂

@eliyahmcneill9302 2 жыл бұрын

Me too buddy

@st4ne4rmthevill63 4 жыл бұрын

Definitely the funniest Asian American female comedian right now.

@averyjeanne 3 жыл бұрын

Ali Wong is quaking

@arb1897 3 жыл бұрын

@@averyjeanne nope

@Emma-ux9jt 3 жыл бұрын

@@arb1897 well she is the most popular asian american female comedian

@arb1897 3 жыл бұрын

@@Emma-ux9jt well that's true.....but all she does, is Feminists stuffs, her stand up.and all. I have yet to try her shows, don't know if it's worth it

@bobinchampions6411 Жыл бұрын

Hope... just one of the funniest comedians whose partner is an Asian American female.

@sirbaseball6117 4 жыл бұрын

"Women see me as a threat" who runs from a comedian

@TheSimplyCooking 4 жыл бұрын

Ask Bill Cosby

@abri7606 4 жыл бұрын

Touching The Rainbow 😂 stop

@CarlsCozyCorner 3 жыл бұрын

@@TheSimplyCooking oh please! Nobody ran from Bill! They were too inebriated to run, silly!

@MelissaNgai 3 жыл бұрын

This tall child is dressed too casually for my comfort

@MissOnyl 4 жыл бұрын

He was 27 years old here! He looks like a teenager :D

@cryingthrowingup4256 3 жыл бұрын

27??? he looks 19

@wildmercuryfilms 3 жыл бұрын

He looks like the least funny comedian in North America. This is abysmal.

@MissOnyl 3 жыл бұрын

@@wildmercuryfilms Tell that to Olivia Munn LOL

@hassamnaavee7808 2 жыл бұрын

But at the same time, he's 6 feet tall lmao

@scott6098 3 жыл бұрын

"I study them. They're fascinating." 😂

@jennifercamille16 4 жыл бұрын

I love how John's description of Trump back then is still so fitting today. Just as his more recent one is when he describes Trump as a horse loose in a hospital. :)

@aimun5255 3 жыл бұрын

His hands look really slender and graceful, idk why I noticed this but lmao I suddenly can't stop seeing it

@raynaudier8622 3 жыл бұрын

Aimun Afaq, God forbid you notice how big his "package" is in the tight suit pants!!😂😂🤣

@musicallymystical7437 3 жыл бұрын

I love that they bleeped out 'hole' and not 'a$$'

@Kusanagi672 3 жыл бұрын

Pretty sure ass is just another word for a donkey but idk im just a dumb internet boi

@vikmanphotography7984 3 жыл бұрын

"ass" is fine because of butts and donkeys. "Hole" is fine because of pits and crevices. "As*hole* on the other hand describes a person or sexual orifice and is considered an inappropriate expletive according to prudish 1927 abs 1980 broadcast law.

@ncorp2668 4 жыл бұрын

Every single one of these jokes is on point and 100% still relevant today.

@mauchoice4592 4 жыл бұрын

Even though it's old af, John Mulaney is the only comedian in 2020 that can structure a joke to make a crowd cheer against drag queens imo 😂

@weirdskyreallyweird.5519 4 жыл бұрын

I do feel like he somewhat misunderstood the purpose of drag, but he managed to joke about them without being homophobic which is impressive for a straight white comedian in 2008.

@EV-wp1fj 4 жыл бұрын

@@weirdskyreallyweird.5519 You should see Mulaney's Sack Lunch Brunch. In it, there's a kid narrating a fictional kid's book called "Sacha's dad does drag" and it's the most hilarious bit I've ever seen. What made it funny was how fluent the kid was in insider-y Drag ball culture knowledge. Since then, it appears Mulaney studied the topic of drag a bit further. :-P

@weirdskyreallyweird.5519 4 жыл бұрын

E V I actually watched that show, I thought it was really good. And yeah it does seem like he knows more about drag culture now.

@interstate366 4 жыл бұрын

E V I haven’t seen that yet, but I kinda figured that that’s a topic that today’s mid-30s woke version of John wouldn’t touch anymore

@musclemanmyles3665 4 жыл бұрын

@@weirdskyreallyweird.5519 petition to call all cis hets "straights"

@neolord1215 4 жыл бұрын

THIS IS THE HEIGHT OF COMEDY!

@annknetter6755 4 жыл бұрын

*reads this in home alone cheese pizza limo voice*

@interstate366 4 жыл бұрын

Ann Knetter IT’S A GRID SYSTEM

@jordanwiley4582 4 жыл бұрын

at no point in the video did he talk about sports lol

@philskinkle9230 4 жыл бұрын

Had the same thought. Guess they misfired

@_iamnotsober 4 жыл бұрын

he has a part of one of his sets called my body is bad at sports i believe. i forget which set.

@sarahb3nyakar 3 жыл бұрын

This is probably the bit they meant: kzfaq.info/get/bejne/epOGebGEys7Vmmg.html

@degrassi420 4 жыл бұрын

its weird to me that he had already lived in NYC for a few years at this point because in my mind he’s like 20

@thescoundrel793 4 жыл бұрын

Weird to see him in anything other than a suit.

@ZeacorZeppelin 4 жыл бұрын

Weird how his insight about a horse back then turned into a horse loose in hospital, and look where we are now.

@kylaha9153 4 жыл бұрын

why when he said he was at a subway at 2am did i think he meant the resturaunt💀

@sburris65 4 жыл бұрын

Me too!

@amandageyer795 4 жыл бұрын

Ohhhhhhhhh...I was confused where subways are open so late and I though oh well that’s NY for ya 🤷‍♀️

@interstate366 4 жыл бұрын

Justice for Juicy! Wait, wrong comedian.

@gabriellemann2066 4 жыл бұрын

John: Why are drag queens mean to me? Because reading is WHAT??? FUNDAMENTAL

@interstate366 4 жыл бұрын

Gabrielle Mann and it’s not little! It’s a medium! Small is little!

@love7love Жыл бұрын

Oh. My. God. This is legitimately the most hilarious comedy clip I've seen. I literally laughed nonstop at every single joke from beginning to end. This has never happened to me like this before. wow. John Mulaney.... wow.

@analuizadefigueiredosouza7851 4 жыл бұрын

"What is your notion of a woman based on?". Fair question.

@elguacamolesf4414 3 жыл бұрын

I think this is one of the main critiques of trans women by radfems.

@_blank-_ 3 жыл бұрын

@@elguacamolesf4414 Based

@LycanLink 4 жыл бұрын

Mulaney is one of those comedians that I love so much that the only thing I can think is how underrated I will always consider him to be. Yes, he has a huge following, but THAT IS NOT ENOUGH!

@aricaine5024 4 жыл бұрын

Housewife in a far side cartoon is the best description of drag queen fashion I have ever heard

@beth8775 4 жыл бұрын

"What a hobo imagines a rich man to be".... those were the days

@martini6068 4 жыл бұрын

John Mulaney looks like a cousin of Grant Gustin. At least from when this was recorded.

@emiliachabik1205 3 жыл бұрын

The horse in the hospital bit lives in my head rent free

@nerouo 3 жыл бұрын

I cannot see him without a suit on, it just activates my fight or flight response

@dirtycheeto4350 2 жыл бұрын

the fact that somebody got chased by John Mulaney at 2 in the morning is a hilarious thought on its own

@roseJ96 3 жыл бұрын

I feel so bad for that poor woman, but I couldn't stop laughing

@rowen9 3 жыл бұрын

I can tell how old he is in this more by the video quality than him looking different

@daviszeis7255 4 жыл бұрын

I feel like this was a prediction of the future with the Trump and the stock market crash it’s kind of creepy

@yaboirico5221 4 жыл бұрын

it's kinda just pattern recognition, stock market always goes wack for whatever reason, not like he mentioned anything about getting sick...

@stephenlovelace9081 4 жыл бұрын

@@yaboirico5221 everyone always wants to be the one to discover a conspiracy

@supgirl6786 4 жыл бұрын

How in the world was that a prediction?! He was just talking about what was going on at the time. Trump was famous before he was a president and the stockmarket was going down at the time of this bit.

@interstate366 4 жыл бұрын

The stock market was collapsing when this was filmed.

@314rft 3 жыл бұрын

@@supgirl6786 Especially since Trump has not only been famous since the 80s, but he has specifically been known to be the very same version of gaudy that he is today.

@clanbigger4 4 жыл бұрын

The Trump joke is all too surreal in 2020...

@kiskillilla223 4 жыл бұрын

Nah, it isn't surreal, it's too real. It was then and it is now.

@Jesse__H 4 жыл бұрын

The surreal and the real have collapsed in on each other 🤦‍♂️

@abri7606 4 жыл бұрын

Jesse H. That’s a good way to put it

@guymayer9609 4 жыл бұрын

“and I’ll become the president of the United States!”

@icypopsicle9082 4 жыл бұрын

It’s weird to not see him in a suit...

@Scrimparmy Жыл бұрын

He is pretty edgy and fearless for a guy that comes off so harmless. His delivery is genius

@kerryegan3091 3 жыл бұрын

It’s weird to see him in jeans like when he’s not in a suit he looks like a teenager, when he’s in a suit he looks like he hosts a game show from the 1960’s

@Jesse-ew6rn 3 жыл бұрын

0:18 John Mulaney is the only straight white cis man that I trust

@007kingifrit 3 жыл бұрын

nice SJW words but we just call that "normal"

@Cnut_the_grape 3 жыл бұрын

@@007kingifrit oh I guess I'm not normal

@graffititurtle11 3 жыл бұрын

007kingifrit maybe _your_ normal

@naturalselector8981 3 жыл бұрын

@@007kingifrit oh. yikes.

@kidpen 3 жыл бұрын

He's an Asian American woman actually, common mistake.

@bismuthcrystal9658 4 жыл бұрын

When my number comes up, I'm gonna let a horse loose in a hospital.

@nordicfalcon 4 жыл бұрын

When he mentioned The Far Side by Gary Larson, he gained a fan for life. My Dad’s “The Far Side collection” books was a treasure trove of twisted, macabre, intelligent humor that I related to. I was the kid that thought farts just weren’t amusing. It was almost a satire about normal things and pop culture references, or to some it up; the basic musings of life and the “what if’s” and “you know what would be funny... yeah. Let’s see how many get the joke”. My bad for the lengthy comment. I just wish we had more stuff like The Far Side Gallery. I’ll take a joke about dinosaurs actually going extinct due to smoking cigarettes, over doodoo kaka jokes. Every. Single. Time.

@rukysees3589 4 жыл бұрын

Clickbait but i am leaving satisfied

@buzzcrumhunger7114 4 жыл бұрын

I have a friend who is a drag queen and he totally looks like a Far Side housewife. He's a great guy!

@annknetter6755 4 жыл бұрын

This man was making making trump jokes in 2009! What an icon

@314rft 3 жыл бұрын

Well it makes sense, Trump has been infamous (yes, infamous, not even famous) since the 1980s, to the point where Biff Tannen in Back to the Future 2 was directly based on Trump.

@queenalice7483 3 жыл бұрын

Dude... What if you time traveled to 2009 John, and was like "yeah, that hobo rich man was our president.. laugh it up now, it won't be funny in 7 years"

@rowynnecrowley1689 2 жыл бұрын

Word of advice to men in this situation: When approaching a single woman in the dark, always announce yourself, "Hi! I'm coming up behind you, just happen to be going the same direction." And give them a wide berth, keep your hands visible. We appreciate it.

@mikekhim5491 3 жыл бұрын

“John Mulaney Bull?”

@bobbygraham-pino8266 3 жыл бұрын

I don't think I've missed one video of this young genius. Quite funny and easy on the eyes. just love him in all sorts of ways.

@kassandraarnold2601 3 жыл бұрын

I think it's funny how he will go on to make his "horse in the hospital" joke

@Tuntor689 3 жыл бұрын

“There was a class advertisement though, where you could learn to open doors from the horse. The horse in the hospital will teach you how to open hospital doors, and he would know, wouldn’t he? The horse would know, he got into the hospital by opening doors.”

@stvp68 3 жыл бұрын

I live in Atlanta-no subway here-and wondered why there was a Subway restaurant at the train station and why it was open at 2 am.

@moustachio334 2 жыл бұрын

The drag queen joke is spot on. It’s always baffled me.

@presentlee9403 4 жыл бұрын

ACTUALLY something similar happened to me. But I was 14. An adult woman saw a kid as a threat

@A.C.71 4 жыл бұрын

I would like to thank all the comics for uploading your routines/specials etc it's been a god send to me during these times. Thank You.

@waynesouthwell 3 жыл бұрын

5:12 aged like fine wine

@kfgfkhg 4 жыл бұрын

i still wanna know what the dow jones falling by 200 points means

@donanasol 3 жыл бұрын

Imagine just looking at the security cameras and seeing a man chasing a woman at 2am and suddenly the man runs past her to the non-existent train. Everybody's confused. Not just saying that they're confused that a man ran past a possible victim. But also, the fact that the man will probably be so confused when the train isn't there.

@majakolpe4680 2 жыл бұрын

This is tage best of John Mulany ive seen yet😂

@lilyr5279 4 жыл бұрын

I love you John Mulaney.

@avedic 3 жыл бұрын

I don't seem to recall where he mentioned anything about being bad at sports.... But this video was still totally worth it. :)

@irongraveyard1121 2 жыл бұрын

John is super talented. His comedy is great and his peformance as the Flash on CW is good too.

@yaboiskinnyweiny7734 4 жыл бұрын

yay another one

@expensivemonster432 3 жыл бұрын

Its kinda weird seeing him wearing casual clothes than a suit.

@heaven_ly 3 жыл бұрын

That is still an accurate portrayal of trump 😂

@doodlebug6296 4 жыл бұрын

Okay but for real that Trump impression he did at the end was spot on lol 😂😂

@Chev987 3 жыл бұрын

This is like Barney Stinson before he suited up

@scarletsorvillo6993 3 жыл бұрын

Why am I happy stimming to John Mulaney at school????

@amandaphillips4344 4 жыл бұрын

Lmfao ooooooh man this guy is killing it🤣🤣💯👏👏👏

@methembethomastshuma9587 4 жыл бұрын

I love this guy 😂😂😂😂😂

@methembethomastshuma9587 4 жыл бұрын

pause

@ghostboimell0 4 жыл бұрын

Am i the only one who thinks John mulaney would be a great Peter parket

@shitlordflytrap1078 3 жыл бұрын

I think he'd be a FANTASTIC John Mulaney.

@CallenderMan 2 жыл бұрын

Did they censor the "hole" in "asshole" and not "ass"?

@Super_duper_cool_dude Жыл бұрын

4:26 you bleeped the wrong part…

@leira4622 3 жыл бұрын

I love how they bleeped out the “hole” part of asshole

@berrydoodles 4 жыл бұрын

I’m not kidding when I say I can watch John Mulaney clips all day

@spichanka 2 жыл бұрын

I know many tall Asian American women with feminine hips, but this one is my favorite

@sopraltenass13 4 жыл бұрын

Looks like he ran into Bianca Del Rio.

@_weamela 3 жыл бұрын

When I heard rude and beehive I immediately thought of Bianca

@clodaghdonnelly235 4 жыл бұрын

It’s so strange listening to jokes about trump from when he was just a corrupt rich dude. Like now he’s a powerful corrupt rich dude, and I think he’s still getting advise from hobos.

@okamiseele8614 2 жыл бұрын

he should've kept running until he beat her to the station, turned to her, and said "i won the race."

@welltoastybread8838 8 ай бұрын

Bro I’m dead😂💀

@libbysparks4991 4 жыл бұрын

I thought I was gonna get a joke I haven’t heard by the looks of the title but I just got clickbaited

@Joannawet 4 жыл бұрын

He is so funny 😆

@ipraytovodka 3 жыл бұрын

is no one going to mention how this video contains no reference to his body being bad at sports or his struggles with math (as the description reads)?

@ForrealMwangi 4 жыл бұрын

Utter brilliance

@viiyy2077 3 жыл бұрын

I get up, my knee pops, and I sit back down.

@rimabaazaoui9143 3 жыл бұрын

young John Mulaney

@frankiebrown6071 3 жыл бұрын

he manages to cover sensitive topics in a hilarious way that offends nobody

@nefelitsakiridi 3 жыл бұрын

I can't imagine how horrifying this must habe been for her

@katelyncollison2237 4 жыл бұрын

Why is The Top Part not on Netflix?!?

@spicyginger6876 3 жыл бұрын

So this was a hilarious bit and all, but anyone else notice how the title and description had nothing to do with the jokes he told? Not once was sports, math, or benchwarming mentioned throughout this..

@babbybobabs8701 3 жыл бұрын

I would've run past her so it looks like I was running towards something else, personally

@thescowlingschnauzer Жыл бұрын

Without a shred of irony he went straight from "drag queens could've just stayed men if they were gonna be mean about it" to "It's hard to know what to do with your money these days."