My regret is different.. I feel like there's a part of me missing and I can't get it back because I missed my opportunity

Q: What is regret? A: “Regrets are illuminations come too late.” ― Joseph Campbell

“Some of your own regrets aren’t as ugly as you think they are.” ❤️

"some of your regrets are not as ugly as you think they are." i love this sentence. it has such a deep meaning

I think differently when it comes to regret. imo the reason we regret something is usually because we had a choice to do something else at the time, when we didn't listen to that gut feeling, when we weren't honest to our hearts. It's because we knew we should have done something but sadly chose to listen to fear... years later when that fear feeling is no longer there we realize what a big mistake that was.... the opportunity and moment is lost... that is what breaks me.

"The point isn't to live without any regrets. The point is to not hate ourselves for having them" 😊

I have lived with regret all my life. When I look back to my memories I see that I always felt incomplete, I always felt like something was missing. I don't share my regrets to anyone and that causes everything to build up and I have sudden outburst of tears. Every moment I get hurt, every second I blame myself for not being better, I get anxious and sad. I think that I need help. I have made mistakes, big ones. I want to confront them.

Regret doesn't remind us that we did badly... it reminds us that we can do better ( I would say that it reminds us that we would like to act differently next time) Priceless message delivered in this video, Thank you Kathryn.

Kathryn Schulz, you are so caring and compassionate and gentle. You speak like an all-forgiving mother who will protect and soothe her children. This video made me cry because you hit the nail on the head. Everyday I'm reminded by my mind of the stupid things I've done. Everyday I'm trying to let them go. Thank you for talking about regret and for comforting people who can't stop hating certain things about themselves that they can't undo.

This is one of the best TED Talks I've seen.

The four aspect breakdown of regret is painfully accurate. I'm currently experiencing some profound regret.

I don't think I could have related to this anymore. I got a tattoo at 29 and instantly regretted it. I went through all the exact emotions that she describes.

i feel like im goin downhill because i had given up on an amazing opportunity. its not that i missed it, i just dropped it. i was weak. i let my fear take over for a moment and that goddamn moment turned my life into a worse page. i regret it so much, and still could not forgive myself for it

the last line got through my head, if you don't regret you cannot do it right the next time

Lesson:- We need to learn to love the flawed, imperfect things that we create and to forgive ourselves for creating them Regret doesn't remind us that we did badly. It reminds us that we know we can do better. -Kathryn Schulz

Things i want to rmr for myself: 1) regret dont mean we do badly, it reminds that we can do better 2) things without remedy shd be of no regard 3) your mistakes is not as ugly as u think 4) we each have one true north 5) have a series of quick action to change destiny now 6) fill the tank quarter full

This is genuinely such a good talk. That's 16 mins I didn't regret spending on watching this.

My regret is something I am living with... I wish I studied a different course, though I'm still studying the course I'm not happy with, I sometimes feel my future is crushed already.

"Regret doesn't remind us that we did badly. It reminds us that we know we could do better." ❤❤❤

I regret prolonging my depression and losing all my social connections

I experienced a lot of regret today in particular. It’s something that’s been brewing inside me recently and it kind of just poured out of me today. I turned 30 this year and have been thinking really negatively about aging, thinking about my past a lot and how I got here. I had to work a cheerleading event today and I saw all the little girls with their youth and their endless energy, and I thought to myself how I wished so badly I would’ve done something like that when I was a kid. I tried dance classes & a few other things but never stuck with them. I wish my parents would’ve forced me. I never stuck with anything and I still can’t to this day. I still don’t know what I want, I know the things that I like but I don’t know what I WANT. Anyway, I looked at these girls and I’m trying to hold back tears as they’re doing astonishing flips and tricks in the air. They’re experiencing friendship and sisterhood with each other, creating bonds that will last a lifetime. They’re learning skills and have amazing athletic abilities. I wanted this for myself. On the car ride home I cried and wished so badly I could turn back time and relive my youth. And now, I’m looking up TEDtalks to try and get some advice on how to live with my choices and mistakes and regrets, feeling like I’ve wasted my life and my youth. I made every bad decision I could’ve in my teen years and early adulthood. I did awful and stupid things. Why I felt the need to do them I will never know, I had a good childhood and nothing traumatic happened to me. So where did my wild streak come from? I don’t know. But here’s to moving forward and trying to live with myself, and love myself and learning to not regret regret. If you read all this, thank you.

Much better than the "I don't regret anything" knee-jerk line I hear from many people

My regret is always coming back to my bad habits. Really kills me

Interesting talk, although I wonder what she would have to say on regretting things that we didn't do.

I have a tattoo regret story too. Eight years ago I got a tattoo from a legit parlor. A short time later it became infected. I went to the ER and was given 2 antibiotics. I was having a severe reaction to one of them but when I returned to the ER the next day, I was told to "tough it out." I stayed on the antibiotic, which ultimately caused an autoimmune neuropathy. I was diagnosed with POTS and SFN. My bladder, heart, blood vessels, bowels, sweat glands were damaged. I still have autonomic and sensory nerve damage. I have daily nerve pain and I'm 35 pounds under my normal. My job and life are both still affected. If I would have stood my ground and demanded another med at the ER, most doctors say it probably would have resolved...but I stayed on it the full ten days.

*For any of you out there who would like to know:* I watched this great video because there was this girl today watching Star Wars: The Last Jedi and I really wanted to chat with her but I missed the chance.

"If we have goals amd ambitions amd we love ppl and dont wana hurt them.. we SHOULD feel pain when things go wrong.. "...

I'm not sure we even have control over how we feel. Kathryn has learned how to deal with things as she has aged. I doubt she could've dealt with her regret over her tattoo any differently had she been privvy to her present knowledge at an earlier time. Had she watched an identical video to this earlier in her life, it just wouldn't have had the same effect. It's something that we may only be able to learn through experiencing the passing of time. I wouldn't have understood this earlier in life.

Such compassion and humanity. kathryn's vulnerability brought tears to my eyes. Bravo!

I am 19 and still in the 11th grade because I stopped studying last school year. I regret that I spent my days sad and distracted myself from school. I would've been with the grade 12 batch. I spent my days being emotional and not doing my responsibilities. After watching this video, I just cried and cried. I am anxious about my future. What if I don't become the doctor I want to be. As soon as my classmates graduate college at 21. I will just be starting college and though I do not want to compare myself to others because we have different paths and I took 2 more years of education back in elementary. It just hurts me knowing I could've done better last year, if I just pushed through, if I just cried but complied through my subjects. I used to do so well and now I feel so empty, so little. I am disappointed in myself. I refused to ask help. I hate myself for it but I can't spend my days hating myself. I just don't know how to deal with myself. I am uncomfortable opening up to my mom about it because she'll just scold me and tell me "I told you so.". I could've done so much better and now I'm just here writing this long comment drowning in tears

I feel like a missed a very rare career oppurtunity and its killing me because I feel like I just barely missed it. This Tedx talk helps cope with the pain. I guess it is an oppurtunity that can be replaced, sure. but it will be hard in my eyes.

If you regret regret, don't regret that you regret regret. You'll Regret it.

About three days ago I've lost a great friend whom I admire the most due to single message that made her angry and disappointed at me. After the doors are closed I felt nothing but pain for days realizing the outcome of our friendship could've been much better if I didn't send that one single message. I didn't realize how horribe and selfish person I am. The loss, regret & disappointment clumped together into a feeling I've never felt before. I really wanna make up for the mistake I did and say sorry to her, but unfortunately like I said the doors are closed to me.

great video and talk, there are some glib youtube videos that actually make me feel worse, but this one resonated, I even shed a tear, still struggling but this helped with the healing process.

Thank you so much for this: straightforward, sincere, and helpful. It's okay to regret things but we don't have to hate ourselves for it.

Beautifully written speech from a logical and emotive perspective, she supplies the knowledge passionately and compellingly and makes excellent points and provides outstanding advice.

It helped me a lot, thank you so much!

There are different regrets and some are worse than others. I'd much rather regret a reckless tattoo than regret a missed opportunity, wasted years of my life, missed experiences etc. It's regret about the things you DIDN'T do that hurt the most.

Don’t regret regret because there is nothing wrong with regret, just don’t hate yourself and do better next time!!!

I burst into tears when I hear the last few sentences. It is the answer I am looking for.

Powerful and heartfelt. The message is tattooed in my mind:)

Regret is real. When decisions I have made,actions I did,things left undone or words spoken that have hurt my two beautiful sons is regret that I cannot seem to let go of.Now that my 35 year old son has accidentally died all I have are regrets.I am truly sorry.The MOST important thing in life is loving and giving to those that we love.Spending time loving.Anything else is a waste.

That last statement-sentence lifted me! I live with so much regret, that it weighs on me. I'm writing that last statement and posting it in plain view for future reference! Thank you for sharing!!

I have attended university for several years and learned alot yet never scquired a degree, I have not regred the education I have participated in. All the knowledge and reflection I have done throughout the years have been beneficial to me. If not for practcial purposes, at least for getting to understand my own values and goals better. For me learning has never stopped. I still find it enourmously enjoyable to study and think about new concepts and seek out new knowledge.

The last words nearly made me cry ❤️

this was so darn good....I needed this..... thank you so much

Thank you for sharing. Well done and inspiring speech.

Brilliant and timeless. Thank you

My biggest regrets are financial and professional. My regrets eat me alive practically everyday. I don't like where I am at this stage of my life.

Thank u so much. This is really great advice

BEAUTIFUL SPEECH. THE LAST SENTENCES ARE THE ANSWERS I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR. THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!

My regret is that my childhood, instead of being my formative years, felt like my “stagnant” years. Instead of preparing me for greatness, they held me back from achieving anything.

Wonderful Talk. This real nice lady certainly got the message across. More please.

Hats Off to you! I applaud you once again. Wonderful life lesson!

This is a very amazing video.. Thank you!!

I enjoyed this topic a lot because I’m a little bit sensitive so I’m likely to regret easily. She gave some interesting materials such as a survey. It was interesting to know that many people in the states tended to regret their education, career, and romance. She gave some suggestions to overcome our regrets. These are to take some comfort in its universality, to laugh at ourselves and to depend on the time. The point is not to hate ourselves for having the regrets.

Now I regret for not being myself completely on my school days I was suppressed and not at all confident on certain things. I can't say "I'm not confident", I will do it on an urge. I wanna do it, but something always draws me back. Now I'm regretting all those things and I'm not memorizing the good memories. May be could live in the moment by learning from the past. I will use every opportunity to make everything special and memorable ♥️

wow. that was really wonderful and totally profound. thank you Kathryn!

This is the greatest talk on the topic

I play that decision over and over on loop. I was one investment from financial freedom. I owned 2 Chicago condos and lost job. Took out my 401k if $150 grand and instead of getting another bank owned property in Chicago (great market), i invested in Ohio. Slow market and way less equity and hired family to fix it up. Lost it all. Now I am clinically depressed. All my dreams gone. Took me 15 years to save that, plus was my ticket to live as a traveller. No need to have a job. Freedom. But i failed. Got so close. If only i would have... :(

Thanks for researching on this topic and sharing your thoughts on the same.

this is making me tear up. i love this woman. i'm not religious, but this is spiritual.

Beautiful talk thank you

this really does shift your perspective...a bit, and I am satisfied with that. Insightful speech.

Thank you for this

Wow! So well said❤️Thank you so much for sharing this beautiful one!🤭😘😊👍❤️🤗

Amazing talk. I needed to be reminded that maybe regrets aren't so bad.

I regret not telling someone I loved them when we were 10 years old and I annoyed her all through secondary school and I only told her 10 years later wgen we were 20 I still regret it that I never did at the right time and missed an opportunity that I really wanted it hurts

5:52.....education...its a key to treasure in todays world

I regret breaking up with my girl who loved me so much. She really loved me and was quiet heartbroken when i didn't commit to her. Now she's getting married to someone else. I pray her best wishes. I know i will regret not being with her my entire life.

Thank you ..loved the last comments on having dreams/goals & go through the pain. So why regret for having them. good content..

My regret is regarding the love of my life. She loved me so purely something i can never get back because I've ruined it in ways unimaginable. I've tormented her for years emotionally and mentally and finally when i realise and accept the things I've done, it has come to an end. It's not that i didn't love Her. I was so dumb in love, immature and selfish. She was my comfort zone and i took that comfort very lightly I hope she finds someone who treats her the way she deserves to be treated but it's killing me knowing I could have done much much better

One of the best TED talks I've heard.

I really appreciate this talk.

Thanks Kathryn. I needed advice on how to not beat myself up and I believe that forgiving myself for my flawed creations will be a big help. What makes me laugh is your stamp does not indicate a tramp but a wonderful human. THANKS!

great talk! and I really like her tattoo. I think it's beautiful.

Thank you

NEEDED THAT..

Thank you so much. It made me realise my worth.

@the81kid well said my friend ... well said!

Just really nice....God bless you.

A good companion piece to this video is a scene from Magnolia towards the end - the regret speech

I think I made a wrong decision today, even when I knew what to do at that time, I kept doing it in a wrong way. I regretted, then tryna find someone who can empathize my situation on ytb. This video is so meaningful for a person who are still dealing with her problems and her mind, like me. Thanks for your advice. That helps me a lot to go through everything❤

I feel like I wasted my education years too!!!!! And I terribly regret it I wish I could go back in time and change something

Excellent, posted it to my Facebook page.

how true. nice!

great speech!

Seeing the top three regrets being the same as mine made me feel alot better :)

awesome talk

great talk.

I had the biggest chance in my life and I blew it up. Right now, I am regretting everything I did. The worst part of it, I knew I was wrong but didn’t do anything to stop and change my way. Today, I will start to fix and I hope I will survive this and grow up.

I've been poor my whole life. In 2010, I found out about bitcoin. Back then, you could buy one for less than a dollar. I thought it was a great idea, but everyone told me not to buy it. I listened to them, and today, I'm still poor. But if I had bought it anyway, I'd have millions of dollars. It's not hindsight bias. I thought it was a good idea. But my regret is listening to everyone but myself. It's a much more serious regret than a tattoo.

I listened again: you're right.

@TEDtalksDirector I speak 4 languages (english/german/lithuanian/russian) And russian being my native language i can provide a correct literary translation into russian language. What should i do to start translating?

When you have shame over something, if you feel you are isolated and cannot discuss it - the event that has triggered the shame can be traumatised.

Thank you.

Some things come at just the right time

@Gliese0 I feel the same about many TED videos

I feel like with some regrets they get worse with time, it’s a reminder that more years could have been different. It’s hard to heal when the illumination comes too late to change anything.

on the video, Kathryn Schulz talks about the mistakes we can make in the past and regret later. she gives several examples, including Johny Depp's tattoo and her own tattoo that she regrets regretting past actions is not going to change them, what is done is done and nothing can change it. lamenting the past will cause more harm than good. but Ms. Schulz does not accept this idea and thinks that you should not regret having regrets, because having regrets is a human feeling, but you have to feel them, live with them and try to make our peace with them, and she suggeste some solutions to help us to live with our regrets, but sometimes it is very hard to live them. she suggests 3 solutions like take some comfort, laugh at ourselves and take time, i agree with her when she said that the point isn't to live without any regrets but it's to not hate ourselves to having them. but this is not the case for everyone. for me the right solution would be to accept and assume our actions, to learn from the mistakes made in the past and try to forgive ourselves, that will help us to live in peace