Stop Obsessing Over Past Mistakes (A 5-Step Process)

Stop Obsessing Over Past Mistakes (A 5-Step Process) - Terri Cole

Рет қаралды 54,246

Күн бұрын

Do you find yourself ruminating on past decisions, actions, or conversations?
How much time do you spend regretting these past experiences?
If the answer is more time than I would like, then today’s episode is for you.
I am covering why we hold onto regrets, the high cost of regret, and why we should let regrets go. Most importantly, you will learn how to let go of your regrets with a five-step reflection exercise.
Grab the 5-step reflection exercise here: www.terricole.com/past-mistak...
TIME STAMPS:
0:00 - Introduction from Terri
1:58 - Why do we have regrets?
4:43 - The cost of ruminating on regrets
6:06 - Having self-compassion for yourself
8:11 - What can we learn from our mistakes?
10:00 - Five-step journaling process to let go of regrets
14:37 - Productively reframing our regrets
RELATED VIDEOS
6 Steps to Bounce Back from Disappointment: • Six Steps to Bounce Ba...
How to Get Over Your Ex and Stop Blaming Yourself: • Get Over Your Ex and S...
Become Shameless and Lose the Guilt, Too: • Become Shameless & Los...
Is Toxic Shame Ruining Your Happiness?: • Is Toxic Shame Ruining...
Perfectly Imperfect: How to be a High Achiever and Not a Perfectionist: • Perfectly Imperfect: H...
3 Steps to Replace Rumination with Self-Reflection: • 3 Steps to Replace Rum...
ABOUT TERRI COLE
Terri Cole is a licensed psychotherapist, global relationship and empowerment expert, and the author of Boundary Boss-The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen and (Finally) Live Free.
For over two decades, Terri has worked with a diverse group of clients that includes everyone from stay-at-home moms to celebrities and Fortune 500 CEOs.
She has a gift for making complex psychological concepts accessible and actionable so that clients and students achieve sustainable change. She inspires over 450,000 people weekly through her blog, social media platform, signature courses, and her popular podcast, The Terri Cole Show. For more, see www.terricole.com/
CONNECT ON SOCIAL
Instagram: terricole.com/ig
FB Page: terricole.com/fb
FB Group: terricole.com/fbg
Podcast: terricole.com/itunes
RESOURCES:
Boundary Boss Book: boundarybossbook.com/
BetterHelp: betterhelp.com/terricole
I’m not currently taking any new one-on-one therapy or coaching clients, but highly recommend using BetterHelp to find a therapist that fits your needs. As a team, we have fully vetted BetterHelp's resources. If you choose to sign up for Better Help's service, I will receive a commission on the referral but please know that I only recommend services that I know & trust.
www.terricole.com/gethelp/ -- If you are in a crisis or any other person may be in danger the resources on this page can provide you with immediate help.
#terricoleshow #noregrets #emotionalwellbeing

Пікірлер: 314

@terri_cole Жыл бұрын

Do you have deeply held regrets? How do you feel about regrets? How have you processed regrets in the past? Share your thoughts below! And don't forget to grab the five-step reflection exercise here: terricole.com/past-mistakes-guide

@chrisyv2577 Жыл бұрын

Hello Terri, beautifully put! Thank you! I'm sure the 5-step guide is going to help. I'd love to see more content on self-forgiveness, especially for people who were in the wrong. I have regrets because my selfishness emotionally hurt someone deeply who's not around anymore to ask for forgiveness. I've grown since and cognitively I understand my reasons, emotionally however still hurts and beating myself up and can't reach self-compassion on this one. Blessings and thank you for your wisdom! 🙏

@danadolores9557 9 ай бұрын

Pointless to regret..you said it so perfect....life is always NOW.. .. in the past we were different ...even our cells were different and no one from that time...this is our chance..with a different level of perception...to write in a good manner our present moment.....you are great in what you are doing❤

@sayusayme7729 5 ай бұрын

I used to be so stuck here in the past. Do very grateful to be past this . Lots of work 🤍🌬️🌃🫧

@AG-vp1ok 3 ай бұрын

Hi Terri. Thank you for this video and I'm excited to watch it. However, is this video just for what most would categorize as "small" mistakes? I have seen stories on Oprah about parents who accidentally killed their kids by leaving them in the car. Some mistakes cause us severe trauma, loss, and grief. Does this video apply to these type of mistakes or just ones that are less major? Thank you.

@siviraj6461 2 ай бұрын

guilt and regret after my father passed away I still unable recover since 2021 guilt for not being on time and also not leading a life in a right manner...now i feel nothing good I have failed being son i really failed... now I am in bit stable in my career but not able to do anything in life because past when my dad was alive didn't do much now ...i feel y should I enjoy or spend etc for my joy ,,, I don't think so I can overcome this pain',,i don't want this life any more

@alessaxn Жыл бұрын

For those struggling with rumination + obsession about the past, i found eating healthily, avoiding food that causes inflammation, good night sleep, less technology and checking my phone helps!

@kellypreston8933 5 ай бұрын

Minorities have a whole other level of regret, pain, and guilt for just existing. Living itself becomes unbearable, however; the present does help a little to bring hope. Skin color is a form of guilt, this video may help stop such insanity.

@TheFracturedfuture 4 ай бұрын

That literally does nothing.

@alessaxn 4 ай бұрын

@@TheFracturedfuture have you tried this for a long period of time? it is like anti-depressants; it takes time for chemicals in your brain to change. I still struggle with rumination as I eat carb and sleep all day. But I still stand by what i posted here. Give it a try for 6 months to a year

@TheFracturedfuture 4 ай бұрын

@@alessaxn I've been into bodybuilding for over a decade so I have eaten pretty clean and excersised most of my life. Yes it does make you feel good but it hardly ever helped me with the ruminating. It could just be me though.

@alessaxn 4 ай бұрын

@@TheFracturedfuture I am in the same boat. It is a mental loop, a habit. I know. I suggest when you are "mindful" of your rumination, you catch yourself and stop right there. Remind yourself why this has got to stop. Repeat affirmations. This is what I am trying to do after being abused by a former employer and I am still wronged. I have to find a way out!

@ToastyGhost2 4 ай бұрын

I am only 18 but i already have thoughts about my past and how horrible it was. I was basically raised by the internet and got addicted to adult content at age 8. Ive seen a lot of stuff online in that time and thinking of it makes me feel gross or depressed as i feel I missed out on childhood. This video helps me though, i hope anyone reading this has a good day. thank you ❤

@GODS.REQUIRE.SACRIFICE 3 ай бұрын

I relate to that

@ellat2302 3 ай бұрын

at 18 you're already ahead of the game, so to speak. Proud of you! You're amazing. I'm 65, and just starting. YOU got this! Keep going. So worth it 🙌🌛

@SmellMyKnee15 Ай бұрын

Did someone show it to you or did you seek it out?

@ToastyGhost2 Ай бұрын

@@SmellMyKnee15 Well, it more so went like some adults online did show me some things and then I got curious and looked it up afterwards. It was over 10 years ago so its hard to remember exactly.

@scottanderson5002 28 күн бұрын

If that's the extent of your mistakes then i wouldn't worry

@khadijahnyabinghi Жыл бұрын

I do this repeatedly and really want to stop with this obsession. The constant ruminating and regrets.

@terri_cole Жыл бұрын

I am witnessing you with compassion ❤️

@Dalaila77 3 ай бұрын

Same here!! I hate the feeling! It's suffocating and anxiety kicks in! May we all find peace!

@mohammedelzhenni 15 күн бұрын

Thank you. I have been ruminating about declinig a big promotion at work. Regret is a big deal and this video helps me move on.

@terri_cole 14 күн бұрын

I am so glad it was helpful! ❤️

@johnbyerlein6682 8 ай бұрын

I am a 68 year old man with autism - diagnosed at 60. Outstanding video with specific strategies and hope, in most of my life I have often and always been lectured on what to do with no strategies to change for the better. Grew up with perfectionism - mistakes discouraged. My biggest regrets - going through life with no awareness of my ASD and receiving very little effective help from therapists, coaches and others on how to make my life work. Often blamed and shamed for my failures in life. I would need a 3 hour rant in your office to unload the crap and start healing.

@terri_cole 8 ай бұрын

I am witnessing you with so much compassion, John ❤️❤️

@Pan_de_Elote 5 ай бұрын

Thank you so much for this video. It's been really hard to forgive myself for something I did while I was still 16. I understand that we shouldn't simply let ourselves off the hook and commit the same bad behavior over and over again, but ruminating excessively won't help us solve the issue either. Hearing your perspective on the matter really helped me, I hope I can use your knowledge to grow as a person. ❤

@terri_cole 5 ай бұрын

This makes me so happy to hear ❤️ You're so welcome.

@amarisnavarro3854 2 ай бұрын

4years ago or may I say when I was 16 high school years I made a lot of mistakes and drank a lot and always thought I was fat when I wasn’t and I just find this keeping me up just can’t stop thinking of what I should’ve done with that time instead of running away so much and chasing highs n love from people who had other intentions bad ones I was letting my self get used and just so young n stupid I hate that this is keeping me up rn I feel so bad of how I treated myself I just feel so damaged now..

@MarkKeilhauer 5 күн бұрын

always stepping in it, all my life.

@carolyntarrant8302 Жыл бұрын

This is so valuable to me as I struggle with guilt from parenting mistakes and it just tears me up inside.

@terri_cole Жыл бұрын

I am witnessing you with compassion ❤️

@Mokato011 6 ай бұрын

I have been felt so regrii have chosen a wrong surgeon who has performed the knee surgery on my kid. Instead of having one surgery, this either greedy or unskilled surgeon divide one surgery into two surgeries. I have two surgeons to choose, but in the end I have chosen the wrong one. I have been felt so guilty for my kid who differed twice.

@apples_and_orchards3205 4 ай бұрын

I am in the exact same boat!!!!! And it’s worse when your grown kids can never ever forgive you or give you any kind of grace at all 💔💔💔 I’m praying for you! I know it’s the worst pain ever! 😞🙏🙏🙏 I have ptsd so bad and all I think of all day and night is “ I should have done this , I should have done that, if I only knew then what I know now, how stupid I was and so on and so forth and it’s complete torture! I do give it to God , but then I keep taking it back

@scottys1423 4 ай бұрын

@@apples_and_orchards320517:43 . . . . . .... . . . . . : Is there no chance you could talk to them and apologize? Do they know you feel guilty?

@littleiodine9480 3 ай бұрын

Bless you. I have done the same to self. I came to this conclusion after decades- They have been adults for decades. If THEY CHOOSE not to talk things over, forgive and move on, everything I have been doing to make up for mistakes is of no use. I spent decades beating self up and it did NOBODY any good. I have lately said to self- piss on it. Take the years I have left and think and create happy. I have felt better and did more in the last month from that. It takes 2 to teeter totter. If they do not want to, go to the swing and feel the wind in your face smiling!!! 🎉❤

@BrysonLewallen 3 күн бұрын

Hi my name is Bryson I am 13 and have looked up some things that i regret. And don't know how to forgive myself and this really helped. Thank you for creating this video.

@terri_cole 2 күн бұрын

I am so glad to hear this video helped you, Bryson ❤️

@bethc1901 Жыл бұрын

i appreciate the idea of looking for what the trigger might be when an old regret surfaces. i have a few moments in my life that give me full body cringe, and i have always tried to shut down the memory to avoid the feelings. next time one comes up, i'll try investigating what else may be going on in my life to surface that regret/memory.

@thegreatduca100 8 ай бұрын

There are so many things that I did in the past that I hadn’t understood were wrong or inappropriate because I was a child and didn’t fully grasp how someone could’ve gotten hurt or uncomfortable because of my childhood curiosity, or I did understand that they were wrong and don’t fully grasp how they could end up coming back to haunt me with regret in my later years due to believing that I was much more mature than I truly was. I’ve begun to do a lot of reflecting and have begun to see why the things I had done in the past were inappropriate or wrong and it’s sent me into a stage of self hate, regret and anxiety. I’ve been taking meaningful steps for years now to try and better myself and stand for the right thing, to make sure people don’t make the same mistakes that I did. I wanted to thank you for this video and helping me overcome my mistakes and my past, it has truly helped me in taking steps in moving forward in trying to become a better person

@terri_cole 8 ай бұрын

Thank you for taking the time to leave a comment! I am holding space for your healing journey ❤️

@Danak92 3 ай бұрын

Prayers for comfort and healing on you as you move forward. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

@miguelgalindo7302 2 ай бұрын

Thank you for your guide, Terri!

@erins_glamz6756 7 ай бұрын

Thank you Doctor.

@Prabhsehajbawa 9 ай бұрын

Thank you for making this video, I have learnt from my mistake and also I am trying to make it right with good intentions. & Being kind and having faith is the key. Also praying while you make everything right has worked for me.

@edbudzynski729 Күн бұрын

Terri, you are so right on. Thank you.

@terri_cole 15 сағат бұрын

❤️❤️

@MsJ3ny Жыл бұрын

Thank you for making this video. I struggle with this a lot. I really appreciate you, Terri. Thank you for everything you do; your light really does help to empower people.

@msevolution2317 Жыл бұрын

Thank you 😢 I’ll come back to this one as needed. I wish I’d had this 20 years ago holding on to teenage mistakes lost so much time

@terri_cole Жыл бұрын

I am witnessing you with compassion ❤️

@izaaguilo Жыл бұрын

Thanks and blessings to you ❤

@alessaxn Жыл бұрын

Thank you, Terri!!!! I really appreciate your time creating this episode + guide. Thank you!!

@terri_cole Жыл бұрын

❤️❤️

@symphony357 8 ай бұрын

Yes, I do this too!

@mitzicrowder2186 Жыл бұрын

We are given an owners manual! Great talk Miss Terri 💘

@johnykryll Жыл бұрын

Brilliantly helpful vid, got the guide,many thanks Terri. What a good soul you are

@terri_cole Жыл бұрын

So glad it was helpful Johny ❤️

@SM-mx4oc 9 ай бұрын

Thank you. I desperately need this.

@terri_cole 9 ай бұрын

❤️❤️

@deea7843 5 ай бұрын

So, so helpful! Really enlightening. So is the guide! Thank you so much!

@terri_cole 4 ай бұрын

❤️❤️

@ironmade4006 8 ай бұрын

Thank you Terri! This really helped me today. I've been struggling and finally feel some relief after watching your video. Bless you.

@terri_cole 8 ай бұрын

I am so glad it was helpful for you ❤️

@akuasoftlife 6 ай бұрын

Thank you Cole, this is exactly what I need at this time in my life.

@terri_cole 6 ай бұрын

Glad it resonated ❤️

@JAH-iu3yh 8 ай бұрын

Wow thank you for this! I’m so tired of putting myself in the box. Time to break free!!

@terri_cole 8 ай бұрын

Woohoo!!

@rebeccachapman2043 Жыл бұрын

Thank you, Terri. I am so grateful for your guidance. So much has healed in my spirit since I began following your wisdom.

@terri_cole Жыл бұрын

❤️❤️❤️

@amberkay2 Ай бұрын

Thank you for the gentle and eloquent reminder

@terri_cole Ай бұрын

You're welcome!

@Overarainbow-rr1ly Жыл бұрын

Excellent video. This a daily struggle for me. Thank you very much for the tips. I am very grateful that you are taking the time to record such a video. What a blessing! Much love to you 😘

@terri_cole Жыл бұрын

I am so glad it was helpful for you ❤️

@beritmason8567 Жыл бұрын

I was so bothered by regret today .... this helped a lot.

@terri_cole Жыл бұрын

❤️

@stevedavis3320 6 ай бұрын

This is the first video from Mrs Cole that I've ever sceen. And this video is a God send to me. When my mind flashes back to deep regret my inner voice usally follows by saying "I hate myself" It's horrible. Thank you so much Mrs Cole! I down loaded the guide and will begin working on this out tomorrow morning. I feel like I just stumbled across a life changer.

@terri_cole 6 ай бұрын

I am so glad you found your way to this video! I hope the guide is helpful 💕

@nicholasguzman5560 8 ай бұрын

Thank you for this video and for your channel. I recently did something that hurt a new relationship I'm in and I had no idea at the time how hurtful it actually was and the position I put both of us in. Even though they're giving me another chance (which I am HIGHLY thankful for), I cannot and will not go back, because that pain I felt for me AND my partner was the worst feeling ever. It was one of the hardest lessons I had to learn about self-awareness.

@terri_cole 8 ай бұрын

Thank you for sharing ❤️ Self-awareness is so important!

@lynetteevans7888 Жыл бұрын

This session has been very interesting, informative and helpful, thank you...

@terri_cole Жыл бұрын

You are so welcome, Lynette ❤️

@loveyourbodybyoctavia333 9 ай бұрын

Thank you Terry, just knowing I'm not alone is enough. I was able to speak to multiple people who support me. And now I want to let go and this video popped up! ❤

@terri_cole 9 ай бұрын

That is so amazing 💕

@tarjeik7162 Ай бұрын

Beautiful, healing words!….thx!❤

@terri_cole Ай бұрын

💕

@StephanieWatson-qo6tx 10 ай бұрын

This was as usual great ! Thanks so much

@terri_cole 10 ай бұрын

You are so welcome ❤️

@lattymom1 8 ай бұрын

I've been in a real slump over the last weeks. Remembering something that I did 40 years ago that had a negative effect on my children. I suffered from Mental health issues , a husband having affairs, and I could go on. But because I'm not very bright I made bad decisions. It was only many years later that I became self aware. My consciousness was made aware of all the stupid things that I've done and said in my life. Your video has helped. I'm going through a lot right now of beating myself up. It all came to the surface when my eldest daughter mentioned some things that I acknowledged . I've found life very difficult, especially relationships. . .. Thank you.

@terri_cole 8 ай бұрын

I am witnessing you with compassion and holding space for you ❤️

@stephanietimberman1028 Жыл бұрын

Thank you for your videos they are very helpful . I'm still trying to leave all regrets and baggage ....so sending my thankfulness to you.❤

@terri_cole Жыл бұрын

Thank you for being here, Stephanie ❤️ So glad these videos are helpful for you.

@chellebelle6458 11 ай бұрын

I needed this video. Thankyou 🙏❤

@terri_cole 11 ай бұрын

You are so welcome, Chelle ❤️

@artistmaureensharkey5321 Жыл бұрын

Terri, I had my doubts about getting over my past regrets, but thankfully, you said some things that are helping me make a break-through. Like - we're all human, we're all flawed, and we should treat ourselves with the same compassion as we would a loved one - with kindness and self-compassion. We did the best with whatever skills and awareness we had at the time. And there were reasons we did what we did. But if not having had modeling for problem solving or good communication, we can't expect to have done better. And we can learn upon looking back, so we can look forward to handling similar situations in a better way. Thank you so much. This really helped me.

@terri_cole Жыл бұрын

I am so, so glad it helped ❤️ Thank you for sharing!

@MeghaShingwekar 2 ай бұрын

thanks Terri . This video was really helpful.

@terri_cole 2 ай бұрын

So glad it was helpful for you!

@adrianguizar9115 4 ай бұрын

Thank you for this video. I recently have been making a lot of positive changes in my life, and the sudden shift in energy has resurfaced the anxiety and depression that I had in the past. I spent all day thinking about what could have been, which has been preventing me from sleeping well. But your words have really comforted me. It's hard to make change, but I just need to be proud of myself for digging my way out of the hole.

@terri_cole 4 ай бұрын

I am so glad to hear my words were of comfort to you ❤️

@spirittravels. 3 ай бұрын

Thanks for this fantastic video.

@terri_cole 3 ай бұрын

You're welcome! Thanks for being here 💕

@EsmeKingfisher 20 күн бұрын

Thank you so very much for this 🙏🏼

@terri_cole 20 күн бұрын

You're so welcome ❤️

@ms.cruzcruz2298 3 ай бұрын

This video showed up in my stream and I needed to hear this so badly. I have so many regrets and it’s making me age faster and just feel horrible every single day.. I’m just taking my first steps to try and heal so thank you.

@terri_cole 3 ай бұрын

I am witnessing you with compassion ❤️

@colemeeker908 26 күн бұрын

Wow…i really needed to hear this. Stuck in the cycle of shame is not living

@terri_cole 26 күн бұрын

I'm glad it resonated ❤️

@cassiestevens8382 7 ай бұрын

Thanks💌

@malibubeach6341 9 ай бұрын

Thank you so much, Madam. What you are saying in this video helped me to take distance with a regret that I am maintaining for years (The regret to have sold my house). I appreciate the way you deliver the message. Thank you so much for your intelligent words and advices.

@terri_cole 9 ай бұрын

I am so glad to hear it helped you ❤️

@sameerchaturvedi6675 Ай бұрын

Thank you Ma'am

@ceumonteiro8088 Жыл бұрын

I am 68 and I have many regrets. Some are about recent things, others are old. And sometimes I turn and turn to them. The more difficult to me are those I hurt someone and even I could find some excuses for what I did (not always) I suffer thinking of that. I know it’s done and it can’t be changed but it’s like I punish my self, I think.

@terri_cole Жыл бұрын

I am witnessing you with compassion, Céu ❤️

@shadeekamendez1743 3 ай бұрын

*Thank you Terri*

@terri_cole 3 ай бұрын

You're welcome!

@drstrangelove307 2 ай бұрын

This video is genuinely one of the best experiences I’ve had. It really helped me figure things out and sort out my internal feelings and struggles

@terri_cole 2 ай бұрын

I am so glad to hear it helped you ❤️

@drstrangelove307 2 ай бұрын

@@terri_coleThank you!

@Dalaila77 3 ай бұрын

I'm so happy I came across your video!

@terri_cole 3 ай бұрын

Well I am so happy you did, too! ❤️

@Dalaila77 3 ай бұрын

Thank you!@@terri_cole can't wait to watch more of your videos!

@Dalaila77 3 ай бұрын

@@terri_coleIt's nice when people like yourself interact with the viewers because it shows you care. Thank you!

@amitpatil-zz6lz 3 ай бұрын

I love you for this💗

@terri_cole 3 ай бұрын

❤️

@HH-ds2sx 6 күн бұрын

Thank you it's helpful ❤

@terri_cole 6 күн бұрын

So glad it was helpful 💕

@saikiyo1634 3 ай бұрын

Thankyou, I'm really crying rn because of my decision..

@terri_cole 3 ай бұрын

I am witnessing you with so much compassion ❤️

@SaumyaSagarVishwakarma 23 күн бұрын

I am regretting about my past...and it is becoming deeper & deeper because the present time is also becoming the new regret. (a regretting cycle) I am not seeing growth.. Some regrets just ruin my current life .. And I m about 19.

@terri_cole 21 күн бұрын

I am witnessing you with compassion ❤

@serene1486 11 күн бұрын

feeling this rn and im 24 you have a whole lot of life ahead of you so experience it and youll be okay

@SaumyaSagarVishwakarma 10 күн бұрын

@@serene1486 hope so and u too

@farinapanzerotti2683 Жыл бұрын

This is super useful many many thanks

@terri_cole Жыл бұрын

So glad it is helpful for you ❤️

@vivianhudacek1556 4 ай бұрын

As I paused the video & reflected, several pictures of regrets came into my head, especially some that seem often to pop up,out of nowhere. I tried to delve into the sources of the behavior, especially since most had a common thread. I then had flashes of several varied painful experiences, things others did to me or that affected me. These were very, very deep hurts. Feeling “less than,” for various reasons, kept popping up, & I also,realized that that is likely the source of my perfectionism, which is not a positive trait. A sentence sprang into my head as a result of these reflections, an explanation for my behaviors: “It was a way of protecting myself.” I feel such relief & peace & lightness, & I can’t thank you enough.

@terri_cole 4 ай бұрын

I am witnessing you with so much compassion, Vivian ❤️

@vivianhudacek1556 4 ай бұрын

@@terri_cole thank you so much! I feel such a lightness of being. I’ve always been an introspective person (retired college a English teacher here) & have long wrestled with this obsessing over mistakes issue. I finally feel a sense of peace. Blessings to you!

@DrHailin 3 ай бұрын

Speechless.. this is what i wanted to know for years to overcome my depression over my missteps n mistakes… jus the best ever information received… 🥺🥺🥺❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

@terri_cole 3 ай бұрын

I'm so glad it resonated ❤️

@DrHailin 3 ай бұрын

So happy for ur reply❤❤❤

@KGMdhluli 5 ай бұрын

Thank you ❤

@terri_cole 5 ай бұрын

You're so welcome ❤️

@Coco-pr3rz 3 ай бұрын

Thank you so much.

@terri_cole 3 ай бұрын

You're welcome! ❤️

@mabfitness 3 ай бұрын

great video I am 48 just lost my job after 15 years from drinking. and the last 6 months its all i can think about is how i have stuffed up my life so bad. Trying to move forward. your video has really helped me

@terri_cole 3 ай бұрын

I am witnessing you with so much compassion ❤️

@bettygballou8397 5 сағат бұрын

Thank you so much

@Wooddweller Жыл бұрын

Great video. ❤

@stephanie_9313 3 ай бұрын

Thank you ❤🙏

@terri_cole 3 ай бұрын

❤️❤️

@Sophiee.2023 20 күн бұрын

Im in my twenties now and i have a lot of regrets about who i was in the past and the things i did. I'm trying my best to do better,cried through half of what you said. thank you for your words and this video.

@terri_cole 19 күн бұрын

I am witnessing you with compassion 💕

@Ifkatufaax Жыл бұрын

There is a period between April 2019 till August of 2020 that I wish I could delete from my life. Those 15 months haunt me all these years later. I hope that I can forgive myself and let go of the mistakes I made.

@terri_cole Жыл бұрын

I am witnessing you with so much compassion and sending strength your way, Ifrah ❤️

@ishitadahiya9787 8 күн бұрын

Same time period i hope we both come outof it'

@littleiodine9480 3 ай бұрын

Thank you!

@terri_cole 3 ай бұрын

You're welcome!

@sangar463 Жыл бұрын

Nice , you are beautiful outside and inside . I been watching your videos help me to control my thoughts

@tamterell Жыл бұрын

“We did the best we could with the level of consciousness “ ooh healing ❤️‍🩹

@terri_cole Жыл бұрын

Exactly ❤️

@fabriciosurya 2 ай бұрын

Thanks!❤

@terri_cole 2 ай бұрын

You're welcome ❤️

@cmstafs 6 ай бұрын

Thanks.

@user-dj1kd3ny6z 3 ай бұрын

I m from Tunisia it is the first time listening for you im deeply regretting the past mainly my mariage experience .after period of time of mariage i find out may husband in relation with another woman .At the beginning it hurts me alot but alater on i decide to move on i want to change my life . i retuned back to accomplish my study .I have learned alot from my past those horrible experiences are just stones and i want to build stairs from tghem i will move and never give up what ever happened to me alot of time ask myself why thet heppen to me but i retun back to praying and cheshing the moment and looking forward for better moments i need to move on for the benefit of me my future and my kid need strong woman who is able to do it and heal herself thanks fror you video i like your speech thanks alot again * ❣❣❣❣❤

@terri_cole 3 ай бұрын

I am witnessing you with compassion ❤️ Thank you for sharing your story.

@topsykretts2264 2 ай бұрын

Thanks for this video. Needed the encouragement. I left my stable and good paying job in my home city for a new one across the country in search of a change of scenery, weather, and lifestyle. I regret it deeply because I didn’t realize how much I would rather be surrounded by family and loved ones and live a simple life. I uprooted my family’s life for selfish and stupid reasons because I wanted to live that beautiful instagram lifestyle. Even got into debt and took out retirement money to move. Now I’m trying to find a job back home and move us back.

@terri_cole 2 ай бұрын

I am witnessing you with compassion and hoping you find a job back home so you can return ❤️

@nametru3246 Ай бұрын

Thank you very much

@terri_cole Ай бұрын

You're welcome!

@keerthi3513 2 ай бұрын

Very helpful❤

@terri_cole 2 ай бұрын

❤️

@naresh2592 3 ай бұрын

Yes, regrets, however, I repent now. Thank you for sharing your videos. ❤.

@terri_cole 3 ай бұрын

💕

@Asher22222 6 ай бұрын

Feeling deep guilt and regret lead me into a years long abusive trauma bonded relationship that ended in my becoming completely disassociated. It’s taken a long time to figure out what happened and I’m still unpacking it all. Deep, painful regret and being constantly shamed isn’t something easily worked through.

@terri_cole 6 ай бұрын

I am witnessing you with so much compassion and sending love your way ❤️

@Asher22222 6 ай бұрын

@@terri_cole Thank you so much for your support and validation, Terri. ❤️

@sarahtowne6624 12 күн бұрын

Thank you

@terri_cole 12 күн бұрын

❤️

@Jbutler63 9 күн бұрын

hello my name is James,I really have a lot of regrets from leaving jobs and female relationships and I do reflect on the bad decisions I have made in the past,great video glad I found your channel 😅😅

@terri_cole 9 күн бұрын

Welcome James, glad you found your way here!

@DisEnchantedPersons 3 ай бұрын

My mistakes were all around being nice and forgiving, never forgive never forget always take action. I'm a different person than I was twelve years ago. Forgiveness is not part of what I am now.

@mateo1aaa 3 ай бұрын

Thank You

@terri_cole 3 ай бұрын

You're welcome!

@gefleigh4264 3 сағат бұрын

The only thing to look forward to,is the past.!

@postscript5549 10 ай бұрын

First time listener.

@terri_cole 10 ай бұрын

Welcome to my channel!

@user-xs2rw8ot2c 7 ай бұрын

Awesome

@MN-it3tv 7 ай бұрын

I had a narcissistic mother and I have a child with autism his dad is also narcissist we are divorced but every time I feel like I lose my patience with my son I feel so guilty about it. I don’t want to make him feel not loved or accepted as he is like my mother and other relatives made me feel when I grew up😢

@terri_cole 7 ай бұрын

I am witnessing you with compassion and holding space for your guilt ❤️

@AsiatoLasgidiVlog 7 ай бұрын

I am feeling so hopeless and fatigue made a lot of mistakes in my past lost everything and hit Rock bottom.

@terri_cole 7 ай бұрын

I am witnessing you with compassion and sending strength your way ❤️

@xuemem Ай бұрын

I hope you're treating yourself with more kindness ❤️

@AsiatoLasgidiVlog Ай бұрын

@@xuemem yes I am,we learn from our mistakes..thanks so much

@beritmason8567 Жыл бұрын

and I love your settting the cheery yellow and a pretty girl

@Om-gg5tk 2 ай бұрын

Amazing video,Terri! I am currently going through a situation wherein 1 month ago there was an argument between me and my neighbor who is the builder of houses in my community for car parking spot. He and his family have taken over 2 parking spots in our neighbourhood which everybody has equal rights to park. Nobody wants to quarrel with that guy because he is a narcissist. Last month I confronted his son about this and he became defensive saying it is their "right" to park their car over there because his dad built the society and I told them it's not. The conversation ended though in his favor as nobody in my community wants to deal with these guys in general meetings as they are very very confrontational. Since that day, I am ruminating over and over and over how I could have argued more in my favor? Your video is helping but if there are more tips about this, I would really appreciate it. This situation happened in India where I also have a home and where laws regarding these kind of situation are in grey area and not very clear so all these types of situation can only be solved by discussions that this other party is in no mood of having. So I am wondering how to become more assertive in situations like this especially when dealing with verbal bullies and confrontational people?

@terri_cole 2 ай бұрын

Hey there- if these folks are truly narcissistic, they are what I would call Boundary Destroyers. They likely aren't interested in compromising, and it's very, very unlikely that you could have said anything better or differently to get them to agree. Boundaries just do not compute to these kinds of people, no matter how eloquently you state them. I am sorry you're dealing with them in the community 💕 If you're still interested in learning about boundaries I have a ton of free videos on my channel about the topic as well as my book, Boundary Boss!

@ayujisu2144 10 ай бұрын

Hi Terri. My name is Aji, I am from Indonesia, I am struggling with letting go the past, either it was because of me or even other people

@terri_cole 10 ай бұрын

Hi Aji, I am witnessing you with compassion ❤️

@spiritualoutlookbentley405 4 ай бұрын

Thank u

@terri_cole 4 ай бұрын

You are so welcome!

@tonymagrof5303 3 ай бұрын

Im 39, single, childless, have made little effort to find someone in my late twenties and 30s....my career has been a series of unfortunate events that have resulted in no growth due to my stupid mistakes...i am the definition of regret. I like your message though.

@terri_cole 2 ай бұрын

I am witnessing you with compassion ❤️

@chichan6969 Ай бұрын

i feel the same,and so alone

@noornasr156 7 ай бұрын

Hi Terri! Lovely video. I do have one question. What if, in step 5, there nothing that we can actually do to change or make the situation better?

@terri_cole 7 ай бұрын

Thank you ❤️ Changing or improving the situation may look like acceptance, mourning, or talking to a therapist or trusted individual about it. After doing the four other steps, dial into your needs and ask what would feel good for you to do about it now, that is within your control to do. I hope that makes sense xo

@JJ-xx2fw 9 ай бұрын

The thing is I didn’t do the best I could I knew exactly what I was doing that’s the worst to me

@klanderkal 3 ай бұрын

Hi everyone, I was set to retire,.. but i actually didn't have to... i desperately tried so hard to prevent it! because i love my job, and all that comes with it. The job, the coworkers, the workplace...etc. I stressed like I've never before,... i tried what i thought was right, to prevent the retirement, but, i wasn't informed well,... and i was retired. I got stress,anxiety, insomnia and horrible depression. I have been Ruminating every & all day,... the mistakes i made, and the coulda shouda wouldas.!.. and realized that I actually could have prevented this. Regret came on-board with my other illnesses. Ive been suffering every day and night. This Mistake has ruined my life, health... with no way to just say ooops.! Wish SO much... there were a way to forgive myself, and somehow move on. Pls everyone,... 🙏 for me.

@terri_cole 3 ай бұрын

I am witnessing you with so much compassion 🙏

@klanderkal Ай бұрын

🙏@terri_cole Thank you, for witnessing for me. This Mistake has destroyed me. I worked @ 3pm. I would always get coffee, workout, then go beach, and jog the sand,... lunch, sometimes work on the vw project... then shower, go to work. Now, im unable to enjoy the activities I used to, and nearly cry every moment I realize my job is over, and I won't be going to work, seeing my friends, driving my Bus routes anymore. It's been 6 months. I still ruminate on coulda shouda wouldas, and the self blame, and guilt/hate... has escalated. I have anxiety, stress, and.... severe depression. To go outside to get the mail, is a difficult task. I'm unable to accept what I did, and the consequences of this life altering mistake. I'm constantly searching for away to let go, forgive, forget, accept, ... I don't see a future, And that precious moment you mentioned,.. the present ',... is the moment I'm hating most! It's where I'm suffering from the past, that destroyed my future. .... T.Y. 🙏 Kal.

@AG-vp1ok 3 ай бұрын

@terri_cole 3 ай бұрын

Hi there- thank you for asking. "Small" is relative, so what I will say is none of the videos on my channel are a substitute for therapy, and if you feel a certain topic has the potential to be traumatic for you, then I would advise against watching it. I strongly recommend finding professional help to guide you through the process instead. 💕

@omarqasirov8754 2 ай бұрын

Thank you for this. I'm going to try this exercise as soon as possible. I regularly ruminate over a failed hookup with a woman I was absolutely smitten by. She came on very strong when we were texting, and when we met we kissed but she cut the date short but repeatedly told me I was her type and asked me to text as I was leaving. Then she ghosted. I keep wondering what I did wrong, if I offended her, if I hurt her. I still wish I had communicated better or just never met her. But now I just wish I could move past the experience.

@terri_cole 2 ай бұрын

That sounds like a confusing experience. I am witnessing you with compassion and hoping you can find peace ❤️