I'M stuck in survival mode all time. I'm nervous all the time. A lot of times I feel anxious. Alcohol solves everything, next day anxiety hits me even harder. I have depressions and had a severe burn-out. I can't stand loud noices, violence on television, problems.

I know a person who was suffering from being stuck in survival mode. She was constantly anxious, panic attacks, gaining weight. Nobody had a working solution, until accidentally they found a tumor in her adrenal gland during a CAT scan. It was dumping cortisol and making her stressed. And even then, the recommendation was to keep to tumor in. So she found a surgeon in Florida, who was an adrenal expert. Based on his advice they removed the tumor and all the horror of excess stress and panic attacks went away. Apparently this was Cushing's syndrome, even if nobody diagnosed it. If you're suffering from high levels of anxiety, there might be a physiological cause, that you can't treat with meditation, therapy etc. Check your adrenals, please! ♥

The 5 F's: Fight, Flight, Freeze, Fawn, Fantasy.

Best to all of you who are still stuck in survival mode. There is hope... After 24 years of therapy, a deep spiritual practice, and restorative relationships, I can say now that I am truly happy, joyous & free!

Gosh I feel like I’m stuck in survival mode all the time!! Every small tasks feels like a marathon, I can’t remember anything, noises from tv or people talking makes me panic and irritable! I can’t relax ever, I will find things to clean or something to organize. But even then I start cleaning and I get so overwhelmed I can’t even complete it! I dissociate all the time and have such a hard time keeping up with work! Where to even start to heal?

Trying to pay the bills. But literally freeze and cant open the post box.

So true, I had to explain to someone that I had stress induced ibs and they said I’m so sorry you have been stressed. I realised I am always stressed and others aren’t

I’m stuck in survival mode - freeze. I can’t do anything when I have an attack. I have ALL the symptoms, anxiety, depression, stress, ptsd, can’t concentrate, I fall apart and cry and can’t stop. I can’t live like this. It’s been two and a half years since I lost Leesa. 😢 That’s when it all started. I’ve never been like this before in my life. I have trouble falling asleep, sleeping and waking up. I hate this. I just want to be normal again. I’m so lost. I can’t function.😢

That really is a huge adult problem. Because you can have everything you need, be blessed with loved ones, and have opportunities knocking, and just feel stuck. So don’t be so hard on yourself. That’s what I take from the video. 💯👈🏻

Oh God, I have been in survival mode for 18 years straight ever since Mom died. She didn't have a will or anything. She became the city's property because we lived in poverty. I couldn't even have a funeral for her. She was only 44 and I was 17. The city took her body and I never saw her again.

Narcissist in the workplace will always accuse others of being narcissists when the narcissist is exposed.

Yesterday I was cleaning up a little (cleaning up can be overwhelming for me sometimes) and bumped into the fridge with a plate. Without thinking I hit the fridge with the plate and smashed it. Then I calmly swept it up and thought “that’s not a normal response.” I didn’t even feel angry. Usually I’ll feel angry and 8/10 times I’ll stop myself before doing something reckless (that usual involves throwing or breaking my own things). I don’t even know wtf that was.

To get myself out of survival mode, I joined a theater group. That said, I was in survival mode going in, flight to be exact. But by the end of my first day, I felt secure with everyone. I even told the director and the assistant director that I have PTSD the second week.

I have become so depressed from "survival" mode - I don't care anymore

I related to 3 of the signs. This was very helpful. It was comforting to see that there is nothing wrong with me. I can now go about dealing with the real/ underlying issues. The first step to correcting a problem is to see it. The body and mind are amazing instruments. Fear can be crippling both literally and figuratively. Thank you for this video.

❤❤❤❤ pure gold… 5 out of 5… 😔 I call it the “trench soldier’s status”. Thank you for sharing. Very very useful.

Thank you very much, Kati The last half a year I have tried to get myself out of survival mode knowing about it almost nothing, but that almost half of my life I was functioning in that mode. Since I moved to other country to live..I'm 64 now. Tried to climb down from high tree as I called it and dial down from stress.. Your video was extremely informative to me, I wish I had found it half year ago All of scenarios are familiar, two last also present though in very masked form.. Never would have guessed that me, wondering if I have narcissistic traits are related to stress, and not because I had an ex with now diagnosed with full blown NPD... I got material to work with.. Thank you very much Very grateful

I've been in & out of survival mode most of my life. I lost my only sibling at a young age & fell into survival mode to get through school without giving my parents anything extra to worry about. Being around close friends helps pull me back to reality, but then I married someone who has a lot of emotional needs. I suspect his survival mode has thrown me right back to my childhood survival mode. I have been the one to forget a grocery list/chop an onion incorrectly/not reply to a question fast enough, and have a volley of cutting insults screamed at me. I am not able to see my friends nearly as often as I would like, so I find myself hearing my mother's voice from my childhood reminding me to "just get through the day", so that is what I do.

I loved these explanations Katie. ❤

Thank you Kati, I didn't think this video would help me but it has given me more insight

I think it's worth acknowledging that sometimes we *can* accurately anticipate what's coming. If the person who asked the fourth question is informed on current events, societal trends, and history, I'd argue the feeling that something bad is coming is entirely warranted. I know that "fortune telling" is a cognitive distortion, but pattern recognition is a genuine skill that some people are quite good at. "History doesn't repeat itself, but it often rhymes."

Thank you Kati, your video absolutely nailed the way I’m existing right now.

Kati I feel this as a caregiver My inner child is triggered by theirs and am exhausted They may also have narcissism Great Will watch more!

About to start my third listen-through- this one is especially on-target for me.

Thanks for sharing this❤

Some people don't have flight or fight response, some have freeze or fawn responses, so not burst of anger, but alternating between freeze doing nothing or fawning to others or ourselves. I will add the fears is learn, so if you are in survival mode it is because something scare you, something that did hurt you in the past, so you are right to be scared.

I definitely relate to this Kati!

I work In healthcare. I’ve noticed the patient population , even In the last few years, has become a lot sicker. While nutrition, genetics, lifestyle, environmental factors and other aspects of life play a role in our health. I whole heartedly believe stress is the number one reason for our health declining. I experience every example you mentionEd daily. I’m sorry to say I’ve been in therapy for over a decade and it just doesn’t help, if anything in more recent years it’s been unbearable. I feel that there is nothing I can do to fix any of this. I dot. Have help. Everyone else around me is in survival mode too. It’s great I can recognize it but medication is a bandaid and all the alternatives feel like temporary fixes that lead to more stress and anxiety and a perpetual spiral of threats.

I’ve been in it for12 years! I’m finally making myself have fun as an adult and forget about it! Don’t forget to play and do something active and enjoyable! I joined a clowning class and I LOVE IT ❤

Great video lady.

Wow! There's a surprising amount here that feels like you read it in my brain.

I have enjoyed your videos - thanks.

great thanks for providing solutions

This video is like subliminial hype for anxiety in Inside Out 2! :)

Thanks for Posting.

4:30 Hi Kati, and Wow.. that diagram speaks volumes to me of why I am the way I am, or in my case, why we are the way we are. I'm D.I.D., and myself, and most of my alters, are all constantly in fight or flight mode. stuck there! every little piss ass thing seems to set us off at different times and we are labelled "TOO sensitive, TOO over reactive, take things TOO much to heart, TOO emotional, TOO overbearing, TOO direct, TOO blunt, TOO much of a drama queen... etc etc. Everything is TOO much of something. On what scale though? what's normal? Where is the baseline to gauge of you are too this or too that? So as a survivor of trauma, being in fight flight mode every day, every moment is our normal. It's how we try to keep ourselves safe, as the world has proven to be an unsafe, scary, unkind place where bad things can happen. Yes there are good people out there. Yes there are safe situations out there, yes kindness is still alive in the human race, but for us, the opposite is still so blatantly obvious, that it doesn't feel safe to come out of fight or flight mode or even freeze. Freeze was our old response. we'd freeze! we'd dissociate from the problem/trauma/bully/situation. It was working too! til we had 20 or so years of therapy to learn to be more assertive and stand up for ourselves and face the world. NOW... we get angry at people. we blurt out things, we set boundaries and it isn't always in the most compassionate way. We are like "stands with a fist" from Dances with Wolves... we stand... with our fists held high always on guard ready to block abuse and hurtful words... we are constantly, waiting. Expecting someone to hurt us and so therefore, constantly ready with our shields up! Recently, someone called us the bully. What have we become? the very thing we hate? the very thing that ruined us, split us, hurt us, and put us in the constant state of fight or flight? We don't want to be that person.... I relate so much to the person in that letter you read. We... are ruining our lives and worse, the lives of everyone else around us too. The Fireflies system.

Yes. CBT can help one ease those types of thoughts. There is an Estonian artist named Kerli it would be cool for you to reach out to (she was in the LA music industry for years, but had a bad experience) and has moved back to the "woods" of Estonia. She is very interested in psychology/spirituality and has talked about things like this.

Let’s extend your example of the woman whose husband forgot the grocery list. An overreaction on the wife’s part? Maybe, but what if the husband routinely exhibits similar behavior and won’t adopt a different habit no matter how many times the situation occurs? Why is the expression of anger deemed pathological regardless of the underlying circumstances?

This is 100% relatable

This is so relatable… like WOW 😳

Thank-you

Thanks for the explanation. That helps. Do you have a vid about getting unstuck?

I have never been able to relax. I don’t think I even know what relaxation feels like. And yes, it’s exhausting

Thank yoou! I needed to see this. Can you speak to how this can mess up your health? I do not physically heal because of my chronic stress. My Garmin watch always tells me to calm down, and that my stress levels are always super high. I have a weakened immune system and am basically a bubble person because long covid destroyed my immune system.

Biggest tip i can provide is to listen to your body. Its trying to tell you something, not work against you.

Well , my situation it's little weird, year ago a war broke out in my country ( Sudan) , and I travel to another country month, in the beginning I feel so bad that why I'm not suffering like all people then after couple of months I feel like I'm so alone and distant form all the people I know , then by some sort of magic I get better i start to get my life together but two months ago I feel stuck again in days I can't even leave the bed , I've read alot of book and watch alot of things about mental health but still don't know what happened with me , and i just feel so bad , and try to feel good but end up feel bad And it just something bigger than me

Holy cow! I’m in survival mode!!!! Thank you for this information!🤗

In Atlas of the Heart by Brene Brown in chapter 4 she covers how useful Awe is as an emotion, and its ability to connect you with yourself and others. The concept of the limbic system is rooted in an outdated model of the brain known as the triune brain model, and Joseph LeDoux’s early research on the amygdala has been widely misunderstood by the clinical psych community as it being the “fear center of the brain” when it is, instead, a salience oriented structure that communicates with the rest of the brain. He talks about this in his Joe Rogan interview.

I never really understood the freeze response until I flew a half hour flight on a plane that had... I don't know, _something_ loose and flapping/vibrating on the outside of the emergency exit. I wanted to record it to show people what exactly it sounded like, but me and the two other guys in the exit row just sat there watching, listening, and waiting. I couldn't will myself to take my phone out of my pocket.

This video made me cry 😢

good to know that

I've been stuck in this since December I got triggered and then overworked myself to burnout and have been stuck since and have been spiraling and my emotions have been way up and way down or sometimes my emotions are flat and it's driving me crazy😢. Seeking new therapists and doctors

Are you making a part two on ways to get out of survival mode? Thanks

Can you cover, what to do if you're stuck in survival mode? thank you.

Katie lately I wish I had gone to cinary school. I'm tired if studying ...and I'm much older and it's a hopeless task dealing with toxic neigbhors

I've been in survival mode bc the danger that started it has been ongoing. Yesterday I found a way to change that & I feel 1,000 lbs lighter. I couldn't survive another day without peace of mind & I was going to have that by whatever means necessary. My breathing has returned to normal as well as my heart rate & my mind isn't racing anymore.

I didn't realize there were other modes.

This is my life right now. I feel so stuck in my living situation right now…I’m in ED PHP stuck living with family, one member who is actually living with us on house arrest…we do not get along…it has been awful…

How to achieve that is by getting our nervous system to live less in sympathetic mode ( fight or flight) and more in parasympathetic mode ( digest and rest). First it's an effort because it doesn't feel familiar but then it becomes our usual state.

I have the feeling of being in danger, but the thing is I live in Poland, so I’ve been scared of the war and unfortunately I think it’s kind of understandable. 😢

Adler says we choose to use the emotion of anger as a tool to serve a purpose. People don’t just lose it out of nowhere and it doesn’t arise from trauma. We choose to shout at people in anger and can simply choose not to do it by choosing better forms of communication. I think people that explode in anger can’t face the fact that they are choosing to do so. Instead they try to search for what’s wrong with them when actually there is nothing wrong or broken at all.

I’ve been suffering from severe anxiety and depression for the last 25 years and it’s not getting better. I’ve done everything from seeing a psychologist to taking antidepressants and even doing hypnotherapy. Nothing works my anxiety just gets worse day by day I don’t know what to do anymore 😢

More of a flight/ freeze response. 😫 dislike fighting. For the first scenario, I would just say I'm exhausted. 2nd scenario - meditation or rest or do brain dump. 3rd scenario - maybe get new job loll 4th - is like anxiety attack... retreat 😅 5th. - I do this sometimes... you're just kind of checking out. ..

Thanks

So, how do you work on getting out of survival mode?

I tend to self sabotage and I'm on the brink of my relationship ending. I relate to number 3 so so SO much! I get called lazy all the time because I procrastinate ALL the time with cleaning and dishes and laundry. I need help. I can't lose my relationship and family.

I have been in survival mode since the 8th of August 2000 at 18:34. However, it has served me well over the years. True, I have no finds nor a girlfriend. However,, that keeps me from being hurt again.

I swing back & forth from 100% apathy to full survival mode... It's exhausting !

I really wished people would get away from using the word "normal"all the time and trying to find out if they are "normal"or "ok"because they feel certain things...I mean there is not suuc thing as "normal",there is healthy and there is helpful in terms of does this feeling help me live life better,more fully or does it just hold me back and make me miserable. But I so wish we could get away from using this word "normal",its also sad how little we talk to others about our feelings and tend to check or look to others to see what is or isn't normal",when we just feel what we feel and its all trying to tell us something. We also need to get away from these labels too like narcissist or sociopath"because they can also make us feel trapped or forver worried that maybe we are one or another or could be stigmatised when in fact ALL these feelings and "symptoms"are indications of possible traumas both large and small or unresolved trauma.Its what we do with them that matters and how to find ways of relating to them with curiosity and less judgement.These labels are so loaded with all sorts of value judgements that it can be hard to get past that or reach out for help or be open. So much of what keeps us from being mentally healthy is shame and fear of judgement and these ideas of normality"or some of these labels can be so inhibiting of us seeking help instead of just seeing these expereinces as part of being human.

What kind of things can I do to help my nervous system? I'm definitely stuck in Fight or Flight, no question

Living on wheels (effectively homeless) means I'm pretty consistently in survival mode. It's really hard 😞

What do you think about the opposite energy? I spent a lot of time on the corresponding functions of the pair, but I could not form a single version. For example, in the case of blood, we know who can be have the other half of our body, also, we have psychotypes, we have vector psychology, horoscope without accuracy, age, body size, but full function details to find out only one version I still can not. I would love to know what you think?

Why do I always think that people are out to get me or use me and take advantage of me? As if they're only keeping me around in their life for potential personal gain and would immediately leave you or ghost once that perceived potential personal gain is no longer achievable.

Me suffering from depression, bipolar disorder, body dysmorphic, ocd, anxiety, but there's no cure i dont know what to do , where to go am tired, medications dont cure and u relapse

Hi Katie, I've been stuck in survival mode for years. I have rumatoiad arthritis and it's like you can't relax I don't have feelings, but I do feel I can emphasise with others at times I don't like being around other people that I don't know .its like I'm punishing myself for the neglect and abuse as a child I don't know what to do hope you can advise me thanks in advance Julie

My workplace has started to trigger panic attacks and disassociation that i havent felt in over 10 years, not only are they unsympathetic, they frankly dont give a shit, "pull your head out of your arse, do your fricking job and do it well" was the comment from the 2IC to me recently, today was the first time i just wanted to run away from it all

Ohh extreme sadness too - huh- because some don't know how to identify or deal with anger - open the door oh oh open the door - if I get really really angry I get to feeling little sorrowful if I don't let the world ... in or happen

So. I’m convinced this is about me. But now what? It’s crippling and really effecting my life. I don’t know where to start..

Whilst I have experienced all 5 scenarios of Survival mode for me its been working hard and not been able to move ahead financially which means stuck in the rental apartment no friends or relationships

I recall a day when I finally felt like my body’s circuit board fried. Now I have autonomic dysfunction. I wonder if there’s a correlation.

It’s making me sick physically. I try not to overthink, be too needy, or be super emotional. Mood swings are watched for, self talk handles needless fear, stressors are dealt with by walking, relaxation, and activity. Food and sleep help. Talking to people too. It still feels like we have to throw up but nothing comes out. As in, GAG ME WITH A SPOON.” Quote unquote. 😂❤brutal. Having people in your life you need to convince. Being counted as last. Looked down on, disparaged in some way. We are probably right. But are we too needy to ask for understanding? Idk. I think balance is key. Talk, but don’t harp. Watch your volume. Watch your body language. Hey extra rest and give yourself a break. 🤢💯🙏

Im stuck in survival mode. I need to go to work to buy food to eat and pay the rent 🎉😂😩

What if that woman senses covert prolonged insidious abuse? What if the “forgetting” of the shopping list was a passive aggressive attack? What if her body knows before her head that she’s being emotionally neglected and/or abused? I’d like to know, how often does he “forget” the list. Because, honestly, then her blaming herself for a “minor” infraction of forgetting a list, is another abusive strategy.

I thought there was going to be some help in this video. It's basically a list we could have gotten from the interweb

I'm also stuck in survival mode. I have all of the 5 symptoms. But How to fix it?

Thank you for this video dear Kati. I've noticed I've in this mode for almost 2,5 years. I finally got out of this survival game. Feeling so great now (changed my horrible job with insane coworkers, even during days off I couldn't be productive and relax). This winter was so hard, I came home and went straight to the couch and fell asleep. All the energy I had - I saved to go to work, take a shower, put clothes on and as soon as I came home I've been lazy. The worst thing was that my head didn't work at all. I couldn't manage the thoughts; nothing made sense; I used "simple language" to express my feelings and emotions in communication with coworkers (that were ok). My body felt exhausted. Unfortunately I have to go "alone" through my life (my family and relatives never have been there for me). I managed to be there for myself but sometimes we people just need help from others. At least I have a little kitty, he gives me so much love and affection. Cheers from Germany, Lana

I feel like we didn't resolve number two because she said that she didn't have the stress from work and also that she Was doing the mindfulness activities but feeling shitty anyways 😬

Hey, I'm new here. Could you talk about Retroactive Jealousy?

Nuts. Is Melinda planning on leaving the country soon? Final PR tour?

Great. How do we get out of survival mode?

I went to this date recently and I don’t know what happened but I felt very uncomfortable during the date. It’s been a while since i dated but i just couldn’t really relax. I felt very drained after that date and couldn’t sleep well. I have this pressure like feeling on my cheat and don’t know why my body really gets into that mode ! The anxiety just doesn’t seem to wear of. I never experienced this in my life so I’m wondering if that’s a trauma response or not?

Lots of us stuck in survival mode like this

I fawn and freeze lately . Feeling numb . What do you suggest I do ? What if it’s people close to you that causes these feelings by triggering me ? What should I do

2:54 and of course in this day an era, making a photo and sending it on the phone was absolutely not an option

Well how do you know if the procrastination is survival mode or executive function?

2:57 this. Survival mode makes me so angry but it’s based in fear and I hate it!

Lived in survival most of my life. Why? Poverty. What helps? Spirituality, and avoiding most people because they are inherently narcissists in this North American society.

any solutions? ways to cope/heal ?

Scenario #4: You have been red-pilled and know the truth.

Holy crap. It's me.