Love bombing is such a manipulative performance. It's like "Look how good I'm making you feel. There's no way you couldn't want this, and you'd be a fool to reject it, so now we MUST be together."

Desire is caring for the body Cherish is caring for the soul.

This is so spot-on! As a "cherisher" who was formally enmeshed with a narcissist, I remember when it dawned on me that they're wired differently. All of my loving and tender gestures were wasted on someone who is incapable of feeling the same way. That's when you cut your losses and leave. There has to be better humans out there. 🌼

Desire is being that shiny bauble in a store window. Something, that after walking away from it, is easily forgotten until the next “desire” appears. It’s a superficial attachment. Cherish is that worn out stuffed animal from childhood that you take through life with you, never to be discarded.

Two of my narcissistic boyfriends used cherishing in place of lovebombing. They sensed that that's what I needed, so they delivered it. One of them pursued me for 9 months before I gave in. He was the most caring and selfless person I knew. The other one did not even touch me or kissed me for a month, because he knew I wanted to build it up slowly. Ha was selfless and attentive and nurturing. But both of them switched and turned into a monster as soon as I admitted how much they meant to me. They did not tolerate my boundaries anymore and they said the opposite things they said before. The moral of the story: Narcissists can treat you any way you want in order to get you in the beginning. If you want big gestures, they lovebomb you, if you want nurturing they will cherish you and make you feel secure. It's just an act for them and only last for so long.

To me, the word "Cherish" sounds so soothing. I'd go for cherish any day

Spot, on!! 💯 "To be Cherished is quite different than desire. To be cherished is to be valued, to be safe and protected, to be cared about. To cherish someone is to be aware of their needs in a way such that you sort of meet people where they are at. You don't push them to do things that are uncomfortable or rush them. You just take good care of them." ~Dr Ramani

Dr Ramani, I hope you are taking care of yourself (not just everyone else.) You mentioned in a previous video that you are going through some trauma. You are so valuable to so many people, we need you to not burn out and not get dragged down by the subject of your important work. I hope you have joy in your life. Thank you

This cleared up so much for me that I literally cried. I'm sorry it wakes you in the middle of the night, Dr. Ramani, but I'm grateful you made the video.

Dr. Ramani, we are lucky to have someone with so much practical and academic expertise making this content. Thank you for everything you do.

Desire vs Cherish People are vulnerable to being desired. It is something that so many people want because to be wanted is such a universal thing. To be cherished is to feel safe, to be valued and cared about. To cherish someone is to be aware of their needs in a way such that you meet people where they are at. You don’t push people to do things that are uncomfortable or rush them. You just take good care of them. To cherish someone means to balance your needs with someone elses. That idea of mutuality. . Desiring is taking over someone and to be desired is so primal and so over whelming and in some ways people want the bigness and brightness of it. Ordinary life does not really always co exist with desire. It is hard to keep up with anything intense. In healthy relationships, cherish is what slowly follows from the sizzle. In a narcissistic relationship what follows is devaluing and discarding. Not cherishing. The fine art of cherishing and being cherished is something we should learn. It may look dull and unexciting but a relationship that starts off with cherishing, those are often relationships that stand the test of time. Cherishing isn’t glamorous like cinema portrays it. Big proposals, big declarations of love, flying across the world so on and so forth. Cherishing requires, empathy, self awareness, valuation of the other person and the willingness to make adjustments for another person So what does cherishing look like? It is listening. Really listening and shaping awareness around that. An example. You may share a vulnerability with me. I will attempt to ensure that that you’re kept safe in that vulnerability. Let us say you’re terrified to swim in the ocean, I don’t push you into it. I hear you. Cherishing is making compromises without throwing a tantrum. It is about not pushing you in a way that feels uncomfortable whether, sexually or physically. Cherishing is about never *weaponising* your vulnerabilities. Cherishing is about not competing with you in a way because they feel threatened by you. Even if your success is eclipsing their, they still enjoy that your succeeding. Now cherishing has to be a two way street because in healthy relationships, cherishing is mirrored. When one is a narcissist and one is a cherisher, the cherisher ends up as the care giver, and the compromise maker and the flexible one and the other party just keeps overwhelming you with big proclamations of love and may be some acrobatic sex. In childhood not a lot of people are cherished and this carries into adulthood. It sets the tone to over value the intense dynamics of desire. Short lived moments that you have to always keep chasing. It starts to feel exciting when it comes along rather than the daily knowing that you’re important and special and cherished. The dynamics of desire serves as a curtain that blocks us from seeing red flags that keep us stuck in an undesired space that is really hard to get out of. We all deserve to be cherished and we should all hold out for that. *On a day to day basis, cherishing is soft and quiet and looks like sweatpants and chicken soup and that my friend is the stuff of life and churns out relationships that are supportive and growth oriented for a life time*

As someone that has been in a narcissistic relationship and is now in a cherishing relationship (12 year, married 10 now). The difference is so vast it is awe inspiring.

I told my now ex husband that I detest balloons because they terrify me. From that day onwards, every celebration at our place, whether birthday or anniversary or welcome party, a bouquet of balloons was waiting for me! 😳 Your sleepless moments are working wonders ma'am. Thank you so much

"I would Rather be Respected, than Loved. As Respect can Grow into Love. AND I would Much Rather be Loved than Needed. " 💞✌ Much Respect to you Ma'am

When someone says they love u too soon i take it as them expressing they love the way u make them feel. Theres a big difference between this and real love in a healthy relationship.

I think it's perfectly acceptable to take a break from focusing on narcissists. You've helped us all a lot and you have plenty of content here. Please take care.

I was desired when I was needed and otherwise I didn't matter! The narcissist was very lovey-dovey when she wanted something from me but at other times it seemed like I didn't even exist! Of course, that was confusing and in retrospect, as I now look at it, humiliating and cruel....

This resonated so hard with me. His love bombing always always always includes a sexual aspect. In the beginning, I felt desired in a way I had never been before. The sex was intense and so emotionally overwhelming. Looking back I can see now that he wasn't being intimate, he was performing. Making me feel desired was the bait and I swallowed it all down, hook line and sinker. He uses that same tactic when he feels like I've wiggled a little too far from his control. If that doesn't work, he will do the cold and removed act, trying to push my fear of abandonment button and if THAT doesn't work he will get angry over some small thing and try to bully me into a corner until I break. Once that happens he becomes gentle and soothing until he is secure that I won't stray too far again anytime soon.

We need to cherish ourselves more and then maybe we won't let people that want to be desired in / stay.

Dr. Ramani, you are so wise. I was involved with two narcissists before I was fortunate enough to find a man who would cherish me. We had forty-seven years together ! Cherishing is far superior to love-bombing !

You nailed it! The difference between cherish and desire is that cherish is that small tiny voice in your head and in your heart that you know that that person has "your back". As mentioned in the video, it's the desire to help you or to make adjustments in life that shows that they care and not be "used against you".

WOW! I'm just leaving a relationship where I was desired but not cherished. Oddly enough I complained about the lack of being cherished to this individual. The safety part of it was so lacking. I felt he was constantly competing with me. Thanks for the support.

This video is an eye-opener for me. I did "desire" the "desire" part of a relationship and when I finally met my husband who wanted to cherish me (and still does), I responded with disappointment and sadness over the lack of the "desire". I mean, it was there time to time, but I saw "cherishing" as not loving me enough to desire me, but just doing his duties as my partner. Of course, 4 years later, I realize he is the ultimate best husband and I appreciate him and love him sooooo much. I am truly lucky to have my husband by me... this video really highlights that and gave me a reason to reflect and learn. I will put aside my need for the "desire" part of things and I, too, will focus on cherishing my husband as much as he cherishes me. Thank you!

I thought that desire meant being loved, but after 6 years of toxic marriage, I realized that narcissists don’t respect boundaries, and that’s why I was “chased” despite my efforts to end the relationship in its early stages. Thanks for this guidance on healthy cherishing relationships 🙏

Being my narcissistic relationship became a literal second job. I was only able to leave because I was beyond exhausted from it. I was emotionally, spiritually and physically drained. I think I slept and ate for 3 days after I went no contact. I have recently met someone and his compliments are low key, appropriate. We have long talks and we laugh. It feels different and it’s been a challenge but I can feel the difference.

Ive definitely been through that love-bombing stage. It was mesmerizing. Then, after 2 years and in just two days, he went from "Ill never leave you", "you're the woman of my life", "we'll grow old together" to "I hate you, get your shit out of here and get the fuck out of my life" (said with dead eyes) because I had met up with a buddy I do music with without telling him (as I feared his rage). He kicked me out in the middle of the night with my stuff in trash bags. Several days later,he tried to hoover me back with declarations of love and flattering while denying any responsibility but I blocked him. We had been together for two years. I'm shattered. I know I need to look for being cherished rather than being wanted. Thanks a lot!

„Making love on the kitchen table- sounds really uncomfortable“ oh, I can relate to that. It was never about what feels good, but always about what’s spectacular. What plays in the movie inside his head, not what the partner is into. Unfortunately I have never met someone who cherishes me, only guys who desired my body.

This sounds exactly like the difference I have always tried to make between "lust" and "love." One doesn't need to be narcissistic or involved with a narcissist to fall into this trap. Lust is exciting, chemical and therefore without great effort to create. It takes more effort to resist. Love is more effort to grow and maintain. It can be quick but it is rarely instantly intense. It requires getting to know another person more deeply. Lust is, at its core, selfish. It is a desire to satisfy your own cravings. The other is an object one uses to do this. Love, by contrast, is caring for someone as much as you do for yourself - focusing on them instead of yourself and seeking to help them, support their dreams and meet their needs as well as you can. It is "other-oriented." Lust is a passing phase - too intense to constantly endure. Love grows steadily and can last a lifetime. Lust can be very pleasurable, but love is the path to lasting joy.

Growing up from from neglectful parents, and traumatizing childhood, i often wonder if “being cherised” actually exists in this world? I have never met anybody who wants to cherish me.

After decades of being narcissistic relationships (and not knowing any better). I finally found somebody that (literally) cherishes and worships the ground I walk on. I've never felt so happy. I never thought I'd ever end up being cherished as a person I always thought I'd go through narcissistic abuse. It really is a foreign concept for us as survivors so when we meet the person who will cherish us (it throws us for a loop because we're always waiting for the other shoe to drop).

I've been watching your channel every day for a month now. It has been critical in my healing process. This is the first time I've commented. So many videos about narcissism talk about the negative aspects of abuse, which are really important to identify and have allowed me to see things clearly when I was lost in the narcissi tic fog. But this video perfectly described what I have been feeling but couldn't articulate in a way that shifted my perspective profoundly. It gave me a very clear definition of what I want in a relationship, and I don't ever want to settle for less. I don't ever want my daughter to settle for less. I don't every want my friends to settle for less. The addictive experience of being desired is hard to turn away when you are desperate to be loved, but the love you crave is not in being desired - it is being cherished. Thank you for all your work. Your videos are invaluable.

Remember to rest and take time for yourself too. ❤

I think eventually we become immune as we're older, because we become jaded, skeptical. One thing that will help younger women is this: does he or she have a wholeness to their life? A stable place to live, a vehicle, career, family and friends? If they can care for themselves, they can care for you. Don't rescue, don't seek to fix. And don't fall for the love bombing of a married man. Single, meaning fully available, is a base foundation. Starting in friendship always helps. And I believe you nailed it Dr. Ramani! Being cherished will be the warm sweater around you when you're cold. Being desired means the heat will be gone when you need it most.

This "desiring" defined my entire dating experience during early adulthood up into my 30's. It never felt good, but I was entirely enmeshed and invested in that trite Hollywood trope of the beautiful girl being pursued and desired by the handsome male lead in the movie. It's a rush, as you pointed out: it's spectacle on the highest level. I couldn't understand why these relationships always ended badly and on such a sour note. Only emotional maturity brought out the truth of real love.

My partner keeps telling me how lucky I am to be desired. I find it stifling. I would much rather have cooperation and receptivity. I am ending 10 years together. Your videos helped me find the strength and clarity to leave this empty / seductive marriage.

I had to reteach myself what love looks like and feels like. I would get a buzz from the addictive sky-high behavior from the wrong people. It's like anything overindulged; but, you end up low, hung-over. Being cherished takes a bit of "trying it on for size". When you bring yourself down to earth from the clouds..you learn to be in the moment, experience all richness of life. You no longer look down from a cloud waiting for a fairytale. Imagine a baboon love-bombing another baboon. We are much more sophisticated, yet we miss out on the magic of basic healthy intimate connections.

Okay, your cat needs to be a co-host.

Yes, you are right, not the same, a big difference. Narcissists want you, it gives them validation, but won't cherish you, won't truly love you, won't see you, won't respect you, they won't care💔 Thank you Dr. Ramani 💖💖💖

Look after yourself and stay healthy doc. You’re important to us, we wouldn’t want to lose you.

Wow! This was so spot on my relationship that ended a year ago. He would stand at the front window in the morning and wave goodbye to me as I left for work. But, if I didn’t wave back because I was focused on what I had to do for the day or focus on driving, he would text me and ask me why I didn’t wave. He made me feel like I was ignoring him. What looked like a sweet gesture was a selfish way of getting his supply for the day. What an a-hole. Your videos are so spot-on. Have a good day, Dr Ramani. You are a blessing to all of us suffering from narcisistic abuse.

It does not feel good to be strongly desired. It borders on downright predatory, grooming behavior. A total turn off that makes you feel sick inside each time you see it coming on. I see the vast difference between the two, desire and cherish. Thank you for explaining it so well.

You perfectly described cherishing and what a truly healthy loving relationship should look like

I don’t think you understand how valuable you are to this world! Considering how draining going through narc abuse is, I cannot imagine how exhausting it must be to always push this content. I am wishing you many peaceful nights 💕✨🧚🏾‍♀️🌙 thank you 🤗 for the amount of healing you’ve provided me.

This a million times! This explains why so many people suffer from loneliness-we’re starving for connection and the need to feel cherished. ❤️ That said, mutual, reciprocated desire is great for maintaining sexual chemistry in a romantic partnership, and those of us with higher libidos crave having an active sex life.

Desire is all about the narc, and represents conquest. They don't actually 'desire' YOU, so much as desire the acquisition of you. Winning you (over), having control over you, and the endless supply you will provide for them. Ah, but to be cherished, that just feels so different! I wish it for us all. Thank you Dr Ramani, a voice of reason, and beacon for all who have to navigate the treacherous waters of narcissism xx

If it feels good to be true, it is. Simple as that.

My father died tragically when I was young. I asked him what song should I request on the radio one day before he died and he said Cherish-Kool and the Gang. Now that I am older, I finally understand the difference of desired v. cherished. Thank you for this video.

I wish I had learned about narcissism many years ago. I know you know how much pain we go through as an empath. I was always trying to fix myself and be better. I cannot tell you how many tears I cried. Thank you for what you do. Please take care of yourself Dr. Ramani. I know it is taxing to do what you do. Your following really appreciates you for sure! Thank you again! I hope you are getting your just deserve!

Sister you need to woosa….you deserve the same peace you are tryna give us. Take a break. We will understand.

The female narc said to me : "I have had so many troublesome relationships so I had REALLY decided to live alone. I was convinced that relationships is not for me..And then you walk in (to the store were she was working) and my WHOLE WORLD turns upside down. I had NEVER felt anything like it before, so I just had to figure out a way to get in touch with you again." I feel so stupid that I let myself be fooled. It was of course a lot more than the above, but I also learned a lot. They are so convincing when they love-bomb you and that rush you get in the beginning with a narc, that is something extraordinary. Unfortunately it has a big backside. I'm at least very glad I have not been in a long relation with a narc.

This one is so Helpful with one of my confusions. Even during the love bombing stage, he gave the type of love he wanted to gave me, he didn’t care what I wanted or liked to be treated. When I mentioned that, he would say ‘just take it’ almost annoyingly. I had the feeling that I was not cherished, but also thought he just didn’t know, he tended to pretend he didn’t understand situations. Now it’s SO clear that even the Love To You is all about themselves. It their own desire you get you hooked, they don’t genuinely love you!

You’re really having nightmares about information that could help us. You truly are an angel, out here saving lives. A million times, thank you.

I’m always amazed at the variety of content you put on your channel regarding narcissism. It always seems so relevant and timely. So thank you for being in tune with that inner voice that inspires you to say what you do. I can’t even imagine how encompassing this must be to come up with content that will be helpful to those of us seeking to understand this disorder better. So thank you again. And please take some time for yourself to relax and disengage. We would all totally understand if you needed to do that. 😊

Wow - just hearing you say that you get woken up by bad dreams (just like we do!) - that your focusing on narcissistic relationships / abuse consumes your mind - I already knew you were dedicated, insightful, empathetic, & full of wisdom. But that's another level. I'm both sorry there's such a need for your work, & grateful that you do it. I've found it nearly impossible for others in my life - even professionals - to understand what happened / is still happening with my narc. ex & all the profound destruction. Often they think it's just a silly conspiracy theory, & I go back to staying silent about it. But sharing my youtube playlist of your videos does help :)

I googled “ The Association.” Listening to their oldie but goodie tune, “Cherish, “ brought tears. You are so wise! Cherish, not the narcissist’s desire,is the way to go🙏

I really liked this one. Thank you. You described exactly what I had and have always wanted. I suffered my whole life from never having been cherished from my narcissistic mother and depressed father. They did not love me and that makes me think why not and why was it so hard for them to love me. Man it’s sad, but it is reality.

For what it's worth, you can love a person without being in love ( being in their company vs wanting to build a romantic relationship). To be cherished takes on the totality and entirety of a person. Dear Dr Ramani, For the days when it is hard I cherish you. For the days when it is good I love you. For everything in between, you are my aid and relief. Do take care of YOU, find time to put YOU first, we can wait. We're not going anywhere. Thank you for your generosity of time and effort and care for us! Sincerely, Rusty S Spike

Your job is so difficult to have to focus on such a negative aspect of life as your career but you help so many people Doctor Ramani. I'm so lucky and blessed to have found your videos that have helped me so much..and now I only come back to them when I'm having flashbacks and remembering with my past trauma. Thank you for what you do.

Nothing dull about cherishing and being cherished!!

Even when circumstances prove time and time again that you cherish your Narc, it proves never enough!

Thank you for your work, but sorry it affects you like it affects us all. Thanks for sharing!

To be cherished is to have a safe space with a safe person. Thank you for this insight.

This is absolutely one of your best videos ever, Dr. Ramani. ❤

I love that she continues to iterate how media has warped relationships for us. For most of human history, we never had a movie to look to that so artistically and passionately portrays what the producer deems to be love. And, some of us, have been indoctrinated with these ideas, by the media, since childhood. Narcissists are over-represented in Hollywood, relationships are short-lived and the divorce rates are high- something to remember. Real love is something that we often take for granted, it is "quiet" and long-lasting. The excessive in-your-face narcissistic courting strategies are pure theatrical manipulation tactics. I wish more people my age (I am in college) knew about this. As it stands now, if you tell your friends about everything that a narcissistic man is doing to win you over, in their naivety, friends will probably encourage it. Real love and loyalty is not something that you necessarily brag about to others but it is something that you know deep down, and that other people can see when you two are together for a long span of time, and in their jealousy, they might not even comment on it.

Thank you doctor. Your sacrifice when creating this content has helped me so much!

When I first watched your videos, I thought if narcissism day and night! So I can imagine how it is for you... I can't explain how thankful I am for you as you really saved my life.

I heard, "I'm addicted to you." That was so huge for me. I think my ensnarement really began then

so beautifully said, to be cherished is to be cared for & respected

Never heard it explained so gently in all my life. Wow, just wow!❤

Narcissist live in a never ending telenovela 🙄 they don’t seem fulfilled if there isn’t drama. The desire that you describe Dr. Ramani makes me feel completely grossed out by those types of people. Thank you, again, for your knowledge, kindness, and compassion 💕

Thank you again! Spent the last few months leaving my narcissistic husband of 26 years. Thought that perhaps I didn’t need to check in with you, now that the worst is over. But I’m so glad I found this one. I knew that something important was missing in my marriage, and you just summed it up. I don’t know if I’ll ever be in a relationship again, but being cherished will be at the top of the list if it does happen.

After a lot of self exploration, I realize Ive been codependent in all of my relationships. I do have narcissistic tendencies but I think these are defense mechanisms. I look back and realize all of my exes were narcs and made me out to be crazy. I haven't dated in a while but the next time I meet a potential romantic interest I'm going to make sure not to lead with that insecure girl inside. I need to be more rational. I just get so caught up in being desired, I don't realize I'm being used.

Ricky Gervais does cherishing so well in The After Life, and the romance between Jim and Pam in the Office is based on greatly understated cherishing

Another quote for my wall “Aim to be cherished not desired” 😊

Love bombing is AWFUL! It's happened to me before but now that I'm AWARE of this term, along with desire vs cherish, I won't EVER allow it to happen again. Grazie mille! Thank you! Muchisimas gracias Dr Ramani! You have saved my heart ❤

Exactly why I never liked being desired and it turns me off. Instead I've always wanted to be cherished 😒

We cherish YOU, Doc. ❤️

YES!!! I feel like to cherish them means you hear and listen to what they like and enjoy and respect it but you can surprise them with their favorite food because you paid attention or a gift that has meaning. That you value this person's ideas and input and there is no judgement. I remember in my healthy relationship when there was a band I had not heard of I would be introduced without judgement to it and told about it instead of "OMG, You don't know who this is!?!". There was mutual respect and they wanted me to learn about the world and their world and passions instead of expecting me to know and figure everything out by put downs.

You give and pour out soooo much! May the God of grace continue to enrich and cherish you in return!

This was so good. For me just leaving a toxic 18 year marriage 20 years in all, I find it very hard to put into words what I experienced. I question myself. But I’m very grateful for people who understand and teach the public about narcissism. It’s the first step to deprogramming your brain and reinforcing what you knew deep down, YOU ARE NOT CRAZY…. I never told anyone what I was going through because I didn’t understand it myself. Thank you for helping a lot us walk through this fog, eventually it will lift and we will be stronger and healthier ❤️❤️❤️

Very grateful for your work, I'm sorry to hear that you're waking up from your sleep. I hope that you're getting enough rest. Thank you for everything always.

WOW this is so true. In the beginning with my narc, he would buy me expensive gifts and I would feel pressured to give him equally expensive gifts even if I couldn't really afford it. He would be upset if my gifts were lackluster in comparison to his. Over time, he did not cherish me. You would think over time we'd grow closer together but we grew apart over the years due to the devaluing process and just me maturing, growing, and setting boundaries against him. He would not compromise and he would get angry at me if I didn't go along with whatever he wanted.

Nearly 8 years FREEEEE! And I was born into it. I am nearly 56 years old, but I will NOT DIE in this toxic pattern! I survived a religious Doomsday cult, abusive foster homes, and various forms of dysfunctional relationships into my adult years. It's a miracle I'm alive. It's even more of a miracle that I'm healthy and happy and NARC free! I've also been single and celibate for nearly 8 years, and I've been working on myself. You are such a huge part of this healing journey Dr. Armani. I really can't thank you enough. After years of therapy that didn't work, because they didn't understand, because I didn't understand. There's so much freedom now, and there's so much hope! Muchas gracias Hermosa!

My grandparents cherished each other by your description Thank you for making this video. It has reminded me what they were like and what I want.

Ready! Your videos have helped me tremendously thank you so much. Living happier !

I often say I cherish you instead of I love you, it feels more authentic to me. It best describes what I feel towards my loved ones

I’m just shaking my head in disbelief at how accurately you presented these nuances… it’s as if I’ve been watching my relationship backwards and then fast forward to painful end. Currently healing and trying to come back to the alive… thank you for your films and support.

Aw ✨ This is your purpose! You're beautiful ✨ Great video. Something to chew on and keep in mind as I raise my children and maybe even eek back out into the world. Peace and Health

Desire is synonymous with lust concerning the narcissist.

There are so many good points in this video! This explains why some relationships felt boring to me and why some felt exciting in the beginning, but became very toxic. Because of having ADHD I have had a pattern of looking for spontaneity and novelty in relationships and having hard time committing to stable and safe relationships.

This! Tears Dr. Ramani. Thank you for this. I am so grateful for you and your well delivered insight. To cherish and to be cherished.

Dr Ramani we need more people like you. Thank you

Beautiful distinction. I’m letting this sink in real deep. This is really really really helpful. What a beautiful word, cherish. 💗

Thank you for everything you do.

This gives me a real picture of what a healthy successful relationship looks like. That helps very much. I am lucky enough to have been cherished by my Father. I see that now. I mistook the love bomb as this. But I won’t ever again.

Thank you Dr. Ramani your work must be exhausting. But we do need you over here. Let's send her some love. 💜💚💙💛❤️💜🧡💙💛❤️

I can’t speak for anyone else, but I think the reason I ended up with a narcissistic husband is because he told me HIS need to feel wanted. I never really liked or loved him…I more pitied him. I guess I pitied him that he was always coming around me!

I need now to be in a relationship which makes me feel secure and stable. No more the emotional roller-coaster where I am adored one day when I do something good, and destroyed the next when I do something "bad" (made a mistake) the constant and intense push and pull almost made me suicidal it is tiring to live like that, I admit it is exciting (in the beginning) but not to be sustained in the long-term. Intensity is good when it is for a short time but at the end you will feel suffocated if you stay too long.

GOD BLESS U RAMANI!!! U have ABSOLUTELY helped me so much!!! In so many ways. I admire you and appreciate you for all you do, for what you are which is completely decent, honest, caring and funny. (I also am glad to see someone else who can have grey streaks like me! UR very real)

“Cherishing is about never weaponising your vulnerabilities” GOLD