Who would have thought that Tim Rogers was holding back when he did these Kotaku reviews?

2009: are video games art? 2019: are video game reviews art?

Recently discovered Tim Rogers, came back to this review. “What kind of world would it be if delivery people were, in indisputable fact, the bravest people in the world?” Boy, it’s real weird watching this in 2021, huh?

29m in: 'You can make him remove his own bloody toenails.' THANK YOU TIM, YES, I THINK I GOT THAT!

"Death Stranding is the Gran Turismo of walking simulators." Sold.

This is the most Tim Rogers review Tim Rogers has ever done.

Tim Rogers is the best reviewer you'll ever have. Pay him more.

“It is the aiming, not the shooting, that owns the noob.” Genius

When a review has a 10 minute tutorial

"With Death Stranding, Hideo Kojima has finally made a game that is like eating 60 pounds of vegetables at gunpoint." This is a GOAT line contender from Tim.

I would expect Tim Rogers arms to be bigger because he is single handily carrying all of Kotaku.

I can't believe I'm only discovering this guy and I consider myself a major metal gear solid fan played all the games six times over. This video felt like ten minutes. Fellas a genius.

Tim Rogers has finally done it.

This review of Death Stranding, from what I'm hearing, seems to be the Death Stranding of reviews about Death Stranding.

kzfaq.info/get/bejne/qcB4iLxe07y8e4k.html "Kojima looked at Amazon, UPS, DHL, and FedEx and asked: What kind of world would it be if delivery people were, in indisputable fact, the bravest people in the world?" That would be 2020, Kojima

This was the first Tim Rogers review I ever watched, I remembered it being super super long. Upon returning to it I am simply amazed to find it is a poultry 1hr long

Youngest looking 40 year-old I've ever seen.

“Death stranding is the Gran Tursimo of walking simulators” NEEDS to be on the back of the box art

I've never heard of Tim Rogers nor have I ever watched an hour long video review. Glad I found this. This was awesome and entertaining - thank you!

To anyone who questions the utility of this review: this review has, possibly more than any other ever written, educated me as to whether I, personally, should pick up this game.

“Death Stranding is hiking... for accountants”

"It is the aiming, not the shooting, that owns the noob."

I'm an accountant by trade, and I grew up in the Boy Scout system going on and learning to love hiking. Apparently, I have never been more ready to receive a game than now

00:00 - Prologue 08:11 - VIDEO Review 20:35 - PET Review 30:21 - FILM Review 38:20 - BOOK Review 46:02 - KOJIMA Review 56:56 - In Closing

“Tarkovsky’s Mario Bro’s.”

This is a very good review, but *PLEASE* stop using that clip of the main character tearing off his toenail.

I really, REALLY love the cuts to the 'live in-studio' Tim commenting on his own videos. Just perfect. *chef's kiss*

Easily the most well crafted, beautifully scripted and delivered and entertaining review on KZfaq. Thanks so much Tim!

“What if Zelda breath of the wild was boring... on purpose”

How are you so sincere and funny while at the same time being so self aware and pretentious, you goddamn genius.

I am twelve minutes in and this is already the single greatest video game / movie / book / pet / Kojima review of all time.

this review is a masterpiece. you recreating death stranding irl with ur little buddy had me weeping.

Patiently waiting for part 2 of this review.

Tim, there is a single tear of joy running down my cheek as I weep silently when I see this video is one hour, fifty-seven seconds long.

This guy is so good at this. He's on different level.

Dang, Tim Rogers is going farther than we deserve again.

My main takeaway from this review is that I want to thank you Tim, for influencing Hideo Kojima with your interview questions in 2004, so that we can play the fruits of those ideas you planted in a week from now.

Here, watching the review 3 years later. Thanks for the disclaimer.

Saying that the most important part of the game is that there is so much of himself in it compared to any other game, such that whether it's "good," or "bad," becomes mostly irrelevant reminds me so much of a Neil Gaiman quote: "Start telling the stories that only you can tell, because there’ll always be better writers than you and there’ll always be smarter writers than you.There are better writers than me out there, there are smarter writers, there are people who can plot better - there are all those kinds of things, but there’s nobody who can write a Neil Gaiman story like I can.” From my perspective, if your art isn't divisive, I start to worry you're not being honest and open about who you are and what you really think and what you really want to say. That you're concerned about how your work, and by extension you as a person, will be perceived, and censoring and diluting yourself for public consumption rather than simply enjoying the act of creation and accepting whatever comes of it. Pretty much every writer that's ever been hailed as a genius has also been denigrated as a hack. Shakespare certainly was, during his time. My personal favorite author, Gene Wolfe, certainly has been as well. His series Book of the New Sun has been hailed as a masterpiece and one of the most important pieces of scifi ever written. Le Guin called Wolfe "our Melville." He's been hailed by other prominent scifi writers and editors as not just the best scifi writer, but the best american writer alive, period (sadly not alive anymore). Speaking of Neil Gaiman, he revered him. When asked to name his favorite books, Gene Wolfe's Shadow & Claw was the first thing out of his mouth. All this praise, and yet the first book in the series, The Shadow of the Torturer, has a 3.7 average on goodreads. Several of the most popular reviews, which show up on the front page, are one out of five stars. A lot of people fucking hate him, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Let this be a call to all the artists out there: Be your goddamn self. As hard as you can. Be brave, be vulnerable, rip yourself open like a coroner performing an autopsy, look your critics and haters in the eye with a serene smile as their spears hover perilously close to your exposed organs, because _that's what art is_ .

I gotta square up with whoever thought it’d be a good idea to keep showing that toenail bit!

This is the best review I’ve ever seen for a video game. Congrats, man, you nailed it.

"Tim Rogers has done it again." - Some KZfaq Commenter

funny how just four months later the world is almost in a situation where amazon delivery people really are the bravest people on earth

“With death stranding, hideo kojima has made a game that is like eating 60 poinds of vegetables at gunpoint”

This has to be the best video game review of all time. Hats off to you, Tim. You are very good at this.

This was the first Tim Rogers review or video I’ve ever come across when this was released.. am now working my way through his Kotaku video playlist. The guy is fascinating and hilarious in equal measure.

"Sam Porter Bridges is an Uber Eats driver, in a world where cars are made of al dente pasta..." That's a good one.

"Death Stranding is hiking for accountants" - we must protect Tim at all costs.

07:21 Oh my, that's the BEDTIME ISLAND shirt he later released as something you can buy during 2022's mammoth review of Boku No Natsuyasumi, here shown early in 2019. He really is a master of foreshadowing isn't he?

The “gotta take a dump,” patch is coming day one.

1 hour of Tim Rogers? Yeah, I have time.

I have an impossible, intangible emotional connection to Clair de Lune and cry every time I hear it, regardless of context. The book review was my favorite because it made me cry for no reason.

Tim Rogers is quickly becoming the most creative and well-spoken game reviewer on the internet. His reviews are as fascinating as the thing he's trying to review.

"if this was anymore on the nose it would be ON A NOSE." lmao best shitpost ever. i give this review five monster energy drinks out of five.

Tim warns us there will be flagrant and repetetive unrination scenes, but fails to mention the flagrant and repetetive tearing off of toenails. Tim Rogers has done it again.

"In summary, Death Stranding is basically Andrei Tarkovsky's Super Mario Brothers: The Movie: The Video Game"

Woah the bedtime Island shirts 3 years ago

I just finished Death Stranding last night, I did cry. Today i woke up and immediately put this video on my tv. I loved both. I was compelled to wrote my own review of Death stranding for fun but ive never reviewed anything before so it ought to be a fun exercise. I think it will end up being more influenced in style by tim rogers than it wont be as i often find myself recently expressing myself that way But oh well i dont think its a bad thing i cant even contemplate something better that this!

Incredibly weird inter-textual/lived events connection: the first time I drank Monster Rehab was during an all-night cram-read of Haruki Murakami's Kafka on the Shore.

In late 2019 it would have seemed odd to see someone trudging down the street wearing a backpack strapped down with jumbo packs of TP and Count Chocula, whilst wearing a small dog across his chest. By late 2022 it is such a familiar scene no one even notices it anymore.

That original video footage with the Death Stranding style backpack thing was hilarious

I've watched this several times and I'm now only realizing that you referenced Jon Bois. God damn. I love you, Tim Rogers.

This review, like the game is a masterpiece that will only gain in public opinion as time goes on.

"Your shoes are the rubiks cube" I don't even know what he means.

Fun fact ( or maybe fun alt-fact), the duration of this video equals to duration of all the Death Stranding trailers combined.

I just finished this game. Kojima played my mind and emotions like an instrument...and he played a psycho-core mellow gospel balad with it.

The most hilarious review of a game I've ever seen. Please do a ton more.

This might be the most amazing review of all time. Tim Rogers, you are a treasure.

Amazing Review! Love your work Mr. Tim Rogers! What would be cool though would be to have all this mentioned Films and Books in the description of the video or something. Im interested in reading some of this stuff. Maybe i have to watch again and write down what i need.

I just watched a one-hour video game review featuring Russian literature and film references split into five parts. I loved every second of it and now will proceed to play the game! Tim, thank you for this review.

By the sound of it, you've done to reviews what death stranding did to gaming. And the complicated emotions came across. Clever. Very, very clever.

Over half way through this review I have never felt so strongly to replay The Last Guardian.

Oh my god. I just became a fan of Tim, and I believe I saw this literally a few days before I preordered. I freaked out when I played it. And I only watched up till the moment he said it was an instant classic. Tim I feel like you should make another one of these. They're the best quality vods I've seen in a while.

I stayed awake for the whole night and switching between sleep deprevation and hyperfocus. This review relaxed my brain and brought me some tears at the end. It's my favourite Tim Rogers video. Nice!

I had such a great time watching this that I'm watching it a second time in a row! This review is better than a lot of films

By far the best video game review that I believe I've watched ever in my entire life of nearly half a decade!

Tim Rogers. The Best thing to happen to Kotaku. Kojima. The Best thing to happen to Gaming. This Video. The Best thing to happen to KZfaq. We have reached peak content with this one folks.

I really appreciate all of the time, effort, and thought you put into this review. Thank you.

He really put that picture up for about 2 frames.

This is the best review that Tim Rogers has ever written, the best video that he has ever edited, and the best thing that Kotaku has ever released. Thank you.

This is definitely one of if not the most enjoyable review(s) I’ve ever had the pleasure to watch

"in the spirit of hideo kojima, allow me to attach an epilogue to my spoiler warning"

The origins of the Bibby Babbas. Finally I know. SHE CALLED ME BUBBUS.

"Sam porter bridges is an uber eats driver in a world where cars are made of al dente pasta" this review is a masterpiece

This is not only my favorite review I have seen for this game but also the most strangely funny and entertaining one as well. Perfectly describes the odd fun factor this game brings.

If this was anymore on the nose it would be a nose, is perhaps the best way to sum up kojimas entire catalogue of games, and the older and wiser I get the more I love that fact.

I have watched all the reviews. This is my favorite! Well done...Son.

2:19 before playing the game: how is that possibly a “sheer cliff” After playing the game: TIM GET OFF THAT CLIFF THIS SECOND YOU’RE GOING TO FALL

This is the very first review of Death Stranding, I've been waiting forever!

“Weeping like a weirdo at the end credits” Same here man, I still listen to that Chvrches song and feel heavy

This is the first Tim Rogers review ive ever seen. This was fantastic.

New favorite video game. New favorite video game review. New favorite KZfaq video. Holy damn 2019.

This game and review are more relevant than ever. Seeing Tim walk around with a tower of sanitary products on his back made this rewatch completely worth it

The rally shoes joke followed by the cut to Tim with 5 Monster drinks on his desk was where I lost it.

Tim, great look into Death Stranding. I was laughing all the way with bits of crying in places I didn’t know would affect me so. Your use of dialogue is purposefully, obviously, deliciously, layered, Kojima style, to a degree worthy of Hideo Praise. I will watch this video again and again, but not after I finally own the game.

This review has aged incredible well

This is the most relaxing review I’ve ever listened to in my entire life

Hour long review. Tim: "This isn't even my final form..."

You've outdone yourself, Tim. If I every see you walking the mean streets of Brooklyn, where I live as well, I will certainly ask to pet your dog.

Very funny how Tim spoils a major twist from the very end of the game in a very subtle way while insisting he will not spoil the game.