Your Tik Toks are So Stupid
Рет қаралды 312,650
4 ай бұрынI will be Live TONIGHT at: / kwite
today i looked at more of your tik toks, they are so dumb, i dont know where you guys get these things
stream my new song "webcore!": lnk.to/webcore
edited by nuka: / @nukaa
thumbnail by ariwa: / awiwannii
discord: / discord
Twitter: / kwite
Instagram: / kwite.png
@ranting2daMAX 4 ай бұрын
I LOVE “Boyfriend Crashes Car and F]*#{}king dies ASMR”!! I saw it once on a mediashare thingy and then it just kept popping up…
@p-__ 4 ай бұрын
My farts are better than Kwite's farts.
@KirbosPlanet 4 ай бұрын
it's the best video ever, changing my mind is impossible
@Jimyrt. 4 ай бұрын
It’s so good too. I listen every night to stay calm
@brandonporter2321 4 ай бұрын
It's been a trend recently, and I went down the rabbit hole. I came out of it laughing my cheeks off. XD
@KirbosPlanet 4 ай бұрын
@@brandonporter2321 which cheeks
@Littleghostman4 4 ай бұрын
I love satire asmr, I listen to it to sleep, especially "Femboy falls down stairs"
@wheeler_dealer 4 ай бұрын
"beating you with a brick asmr"
@Kieran_pepper 4 ай бұрын
you should listen to "Boyfriend taked you out to eat but his opps slide on him" part 1 and 2 omg i almost had a seizure taht shit was so funny trust
@oneconfusedboi 4 ай бұрын
"Yandere bashes you brains out with a frying pan ASMR"
@noblesseraeva6644 4 ай бұрын
“Your girlfriend is someone’s opp” is one of my personal favorites
@6packgaming43 4 ай бұрын
YASSSS✨✨💅🏻👁️👄👁️
@desertplanet3253 4 ай бұрын
0:19 imo trans flag has the best color combo out of all of them
@The_lamb_sauce 4 ай бұрын
Fr kinda looks like cotton candy
@VikTheGamer 4 ай бұрын
What about Asexual?
@RealestPerson. 4 ай бұрын
Tasty
@ihavenoideawhattomakethis 4 ай бұрын
@@VikTheGamernah aroace looks cooler than that one imo
@fataldestinykai 4 ай бұрын
breaking bad pride flag lmao
@awsddesafghjb3718 4 ай бұрын
3:36 WHO THE HELL SAID "Kwite finger me"
@quintencornelissen2274 4 ай бұрын
Im pretty sure it was valer0_
@sleepyspacefrog 4 ай бұрын
valer0 was unhinged 💀
@CaramelOnFire 4 ай бұрын
valer0_ what are you plotting?
@thatryebread 4 ай бұрын
Well considering the previous video-
@CozmoStarz-cm8kr 4 ай бұрын
Valer0_ was so real
@user-rk3gc6tc4u 4 ай бұрын
My cat went missing for 2 weeks and then my aunt saw a person on Facebook post a picture of her and say “pregnant cat has been wondering around for 2 weeks. Anyone missing a Cat?” And my aunt had to literally say on comments “that’s my sisters cat and no she’s not pregnant, she’s just fat.” 😭
@Stilwuf 4 ай бұрын
"ah a bisexual person. God I hate seeing one of us" - Kwite, 2024
@Idwren_404 3 ай бұрын
the phone drop was just so ✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨
@ClownHoundII 4 ай бұрын
I love the fact Kwite calls a fictional crashing more violent than actual crashes recreated in a game.
@danielrivas6243 4 ай бұрын
did you know that when you are decapitated, you can still be conscious for another 10 seconds before dying of blood loss and a lack of circulating oxygenated blood (brain ischemia)?
@SillyFeller1 4 ай бұрын
No way really? I knew part of that
@datcap6289 4 ай бұрын
i half-did
@danielrivas6243 4 ай бұрын
@@SillyFeller1 yeah, i searched it up, it says "Decapitation is quickly fatal to humans and most animals. Unconsciousness occurs within 10 seconds without circulating oxygenated blood (brain ischemia)." so you can still be conscious after another ten seconds after decapitation.
@Iwannaeatlasagna 4 ай бұрын
WHO TOOK THE 69TH LIKE AWAY FROM US
@Midnightaperson 4 ай бұрын
Yeah some one did a test a long time ago (i cant remember details) and before some one was decapitated on a guillotine the guy asked if he would blink after his head was cut off. So when they cut his head off a minut later he blinked for 10 seconds after
@BigB_thebee 4 ай бұрын
How does it feel going from being called a Dream copycat to being genuinely enjoyable and lovable?
@p-__ 4 ай бұрын
My farts are better than Kwite's farts.
@zolline 4 ай бұрын
@@p-__ prove it 🥵🥵
@lwaysDrawing 4 ай бұрын
@@p-__ we need proof
@whitestarlinegoodnight 4 ай бұрын
Yo that's a sick pfp
@BigB_thebee 4 ай бұрын
@@whitestarlinegoodnight thank
@kytyanimation 4 ай бұрын
4:14 every british kid gets collective ptsd from being forced to sing this
@amargwari2431 4 ай бұрын
Do cauliflower rice and potato taste so good to you?
@TheLethargicWeirdo985 4 ай бұрын
It’s another Harvest Festival When we bring our fruit and vegetables, Cause we want to share the best of all Good things that we’ve been given. It’s another opportunity to be grateful for the food we eat With a Samba celebration To say thank you to God the Father
@TheLethargicWeirdo985 4 ай бұрын
Yes I am traumatised by it still along with that' give it a 1, give it a 2, give it a 1,2,3' song
@octookien7380 4 ай бұрын
The flashbacks I got from Just hearing “cabbages and greens”
@jada9284 4 ай бұрын
The school rules song was the most traumatic song because the teachers would stare into our souls while making us sing it 😔
@The_Iron_Duke_332 4 ай бұрын
Love it when Kwite posts just in time for me to clock into work and spend the first 45 minutes in the bathroom
@p-__ 4 ай бұрын
My farts are better than Kwite's farts.
@Foodez3 4 ай бұрын
"what are these british gangster's listening to" 💀💀💀
@DEATHWEB_XD 4 ай бұрын
When I read this that part turned on😭💀
@Foodez3 4 ай бұрын
LOL@@DEATHWEB_XD
@maiyusakiryu7498 4 ай бұрын
3:42 I heard a similar joke to this once * Batman returns to the batcave * "*Sigh* Alfred, it's been a long night, start up the bathtub" Alfred replies: "pardon me Master Bruce, but what is a 'htub' " Absolutely killed me
@Jay_A_Comenter 4 ай бұрын
1:42 this ASMR is so calming 😊😊😊😊😊 20/10 definitely recommend
@erwinkrauss7577 4 ай бұрын
5:00 Best part of the video, ngl
@ThatEnbyAkutagawaKinnie 4 ай бұрын
The way the bf asmr made me laugh so hard that my family got concerned
@kingboo_2237 4 ай бұрын
8:36 don't Worry.. be Happy
@dr.ham101 4 ай бұрын
Or if you're more of a cave dweller the song by the name of "Oreo"
@waffie6785 4 ай бұрын
I have an overwhelming urge to lift kwite up knowing he's slightly shorter then me
@taz37 3 ай бұрын
wait what’s his height
@Idwren_404 3 ай бұрын
@@taz37 short
@kat-fs9lu 2 ай бұрын
I'm 1 month late but 5'5 or smth@@taz37
@darryllmaybe3881 4 ай бұрын
8:31 It's the melody of "Don't worry be happy" by Bobby McFerrin.
@M4lfucnt10ned 4 ай бұрын
3:16 most normal kwite quote she is the most pg vtuber out there fr
@Coquain 4 ай бұрын
The best part of the mitski cat video is part two when the cat gets sad when the song changes
@LemonShark000 4 ай бұрын
Kwite, I've been feeling on the edge of healthy and sick. Some days I feel as damn healthy as a horse, but then I feel like I'm fucking dying. Sometimes, I'm in-between. Today's an in-between day. Under the blanket, I feel like I'm being cooked alive. Kick the covers off, and I feel like someone stuck me in the deep-freeze. I have this headache that doesn't hurt, it's just THERE. And im not sure whether or not I'm going to puke. Your videos made me feel a whole lot better. Thank you.
@total_eclipsegacha 4 ай бұрын
Boyfriend Crashes Car And F$@#ing DIES ASMR is my favorite video
@captainfantastic6840 4 ай бұрын
Not only is it speed on landings with aircraft carriers, they also punch it with the throttle to accelerate to maintain lift if they have to go around.
@sadie1606 4 ай бұрын
I love when a new Kwite video drops during my lunch break. What a great break from corporate America.
@Jimyrt. 4 ай бұрын
4:04 Keith has instigated a gang war between the Birmingham shankers and the Manchester srubbletops by playing this
@Jimyrt. 4 ай бұрын
Kwite***
@s0livagant_ 4 ай бұрын
2:22 only kwite can say something like this and it being glossed over, only kwite
@Yosleco 3 ай бұрын
2:00 was so relaxing😊😊😊😊😊
@AveragealienWhocosplays-gj2tg 4 ай бұрын
1:17 how much you want to bet those two are siblings
@skillerthebean2000 4 ай бұрын
7:20 legit so painful to get spiked in the face but lmfao
@DEATHWEB_XD 4 ай бұрын
4:53 same, I hate seeing one of us as well
@ZuliusKaltaris 12 күн бұрын
2:00 there are also gems out there such as "Dinner with your royal boyfriend but his opps slide" "clumsy girlfriend drops 15 metal pipes" and "girlfriend helps you get to sleep by beating you with a pan"
@nahidkamal3218 4 ай бұрын
1:51 IS THAT RICKLE?!?!
@yaboiEchogaming 4 ай бұрын
1:17 I looked off my screen for a second, heard the song, and instantly got flashbanged with memories of the twilight x Mordicai.
@crystelthewolf 4 ай бұрын
8:37 i love the random shadow the hedgehog infiltrating the fnaf parade
@slightlymorepotatoes6551 4 ай бұрын
5:57 Oh my god. That’s the song i always listened to with my dog. I had to put him down last week. 😢
@majou... 4 ай бұрын
4:08 this song is stuvk in my head regularly and its such a banger from my childhood i swear. I be hearing harvest samba and i go crazy.
@Star_tears 3 ай бұрын
Ikr me and my friends collectively walk around and sing this as loud as possible
@rosedevq 4 ай бұрын
2:30 STOPPP
@SevNeijiVee Ай бұрын
3:35 saw a guy do that goofy ball loosener walk & I was mocking him singing Elvis Presley "Blue suede shoes", boi was I cracking up. He then played along afterwards, we made it so worth it. People pulled out camcorders & filmed it even!! >x3c (yes it happened that far back in time. I was 7, that was almost 30 years of time. I still fondly remember that).
@x.K4LL3N.x 4 ай бұрын
NO PLEASE THE BF ASMR SATIRE IS SO FUNNY I JUST WATCHED THE “boyfriend takes you out for dinner but the opps slide in on him”
@YetiBaby 4 ай бұрын
If you need money, I would pay 3 figures to get the Kwite plushie.
@vanadium723 Күн бұрын
The satire ASMR is so hilarious but also rip to the people who got woken up by the auto play to this
@charlesmurphy5644 4 ай бұрын
1:08 It’s called a tail hook and when it misses all four arrester wires it’s called a bolter.
@EagleTarget-gt4fm 4 ай бұрын
"If there was just one more car I would have died" * tires screeching*"OH SHI-"
@OnceTranquilFieldstheIteratorO 19 күн бұрын
5:43 …Words cannot describe how sad and adorable I think this is.
@__m1xa.___ 4 ай бұрын
2:42 really man??? right in front of my salad???
@addinoir 4 ай бұрын
kwite discovered boyfriend asmr?! everyone hide or else we’re cooked!!!
@K.Dre_is_Undead 4 ай бұрын
Brother called bob Marley a insurance comercial
@lolmanenbatman6471 3 ай бұрын
09:09 ”there is nothing you can do about it” My AR15 begs to differ
@itsgonnabeanaurfromme 3 ай бұрын
Suuuure. Me, I got a pillowcase, some rocks, and my neighbor has a pool.
@IAmABedBug Ай бұрын
Ya ok little Timmy 👌 follow your dreams or some sh!t
@seablueheart-gamingandart2400 4 ай бұрын
Proud to have Kwite suffer with the Twilight x mordecai Airplanes cosplay video 💪 /hj
@Karma_Void 4 ай бұрын
These TikTok’s aren’t as vile as mine.
@calonnauichi 4 ай бұрын
4:19 we are all taught that song to develop into gangster ages early. It is an education requirement. (clarification)
@NoriTheSeawed 4 ай бұрын
The boyfriend dying asmr is like a whole genre of video and it’s everywhere and I hate it it’s all over my fyp I’ve seen boyfriend gets hit by a tsunami asmr and boyfriend gets attacked by 5 feral cats asmr I’ve lost faith in humanity
@chloioutley 4 ай бұрын
3:31 alright, I enjoyed that laugh
@tangohotel2599 13 күн бұрын
So for landing on carriers planes have a tail hook that can latch on to 1 of 4 arresting wires (atleast with US carriers). Even if the hook catches the wire, the pilot is instructed to set the plane to full afterburner in case it misses, so that no matter what the plane has the speed to get back up
@djdiarrhea1173 4 ай бұрын
nooo dude that asmr crash is paul walkers death dog like why is it so brutal 😭😭
@God_of_cheese699 4 ай бұрын
The PRIDE your asking to get cancelled
@4tr0citie5rblx4 4 ай бұрын
I LOVE ASMR, especially "Ghost falls down the stairs ASMR"
@AtomicDingoXR 4 ай бұрын
8:40 not a commercial song, that's an instrumental flute version of don't worry be happy
@Craftomon360 4 ай бұрын
I always love how Kwite uses the best Mario Wii songs as background music 🎶
@KingFroy 3 ай бұрын
The boyfriend crashing car shit had me dead😭😭😭😭😭😭
@ilivory974 4 ай бұрын
Literally pissed myself reading that thumbnail
@AUDACITY245 4 ай бұрын
Got my brother hooked on satire asmrs. This video peaked my interest just looking at the title to see how quite reacts to it lmao.
@someguywithawooperpfp3163 4 ай бұрын
1:49 LETS GOOO, free Kwite whimper audios in this economy 😌
@JoeTheOriginalOne 4 ай бұрын
8:45 That’s Bobby McFerrin, you silly sweatshirt. Seriously, though, Bobby McFerrin was my childhood. My Big Mouth Billy Bass sang the song, which is “Don’t Worry (Be Happy)”; hell, even Robin Williams and Mr Noodle were in the music video.
@atsushisbf_e 4 ай бұрын
BABE WAKE UP KWITE POSTED 😍😍😍
@Mr.DCLXVI666 4 ай бұрын
As someone who literally just got hit by a dump truck on the way to my girlfriends house this morning; that boyfriend car crash ASMR really be hitting close to home lmao
@laurenlovesspace 4 ай бұрын
ARE YOU OKAY?
@khzknyn 4 ай бұрын
I saw the thumbnail and i know exactly which asmr that is and from who HAHAHA, i love satire asmrs u get to laugh and listen to a calming voice at the same time :3
@DemonicCheezit 4 ай бұрын
Seeing Andrew in the thumbnail of a Kwite video was not on my bucket list
@misledsine8242 4 ай бұрын
I’ve had 2 of those “boyfriend dies in card crash asmr ” videos show up on my recommended
@Rotting_Nebulae 4 ай бұрын
In my humble opinion, we, the viewers, have quite refined tastes in tik toks
@tamimogaji4501 4 ай бұрын
The thing is we actually listen to this song in British schools-
@BrilliantRipeMike 3 ай бұрын
1:54 i got a notif at the time he finished sayin "youre the only one for me" and yes it its a huh sound
@RookCity94 Ай бұрын
This video's title is the wildest thing ive seen all week
@Pink_Tsun 4 ай бұрын
ok so i feel like he always says "and you can always unsubscribe, if you decide you hate me." but he doesnt anymore and i cant find a video where he has help
@chaoticcow4357 4 ай бұрын
coughs and dies after the radiation from kwite's video reaches me
@rEd_PuNk 4 ай бұрын
Imagine if Kwite was a circus
@Thatonerandomchannel45 4 ай бұрын
He is
@sillyCerealMuncher 4 ай бұрын
Then im inside a circus
@Mediocrecoder2 4 ай бұрын
Kwite never fails to ruin my day
@sr.lontra 4 ай бұрын
This should be a monthly occurence
@connordekraven9025 4 ай бұрын
10 minute old kwite post, feelin good
@angelicart.6 4 ай бұрын
4:15 damn boy dem bars hittin different
@WhatIsHappeningx2 4 ай бұрын
I love the sad cat he's so real for being sad to mitski
@dianaarriaga4054 4 ай бұрын
I almost crashed my car squealing hearing Kwite singing the twilight and Mordecai while I was driving
@savagechansin3367 Ай бұрын
That first video happened right after my dad questioned another purchase I made on a video game lol
@Drag0nmaster 4 ай бұрын
1:18 I have already lost my will to live
@MythicArt60 4 ай бұрын
I got a domino’s ad before he crashed the car 💀
@talfi 4 ай бұрын
ah so you see, he got distracted by the ad which caused him to crash his car, which means he (or whoever is alive from his family) should sue dominos
@THEENDLMAOAOAOAOA 4 ай бұрын
its 2 am but kwite posted
@Ventiwings 3 ай бұрын
Didn't think i'd see a rickle asmr video on here LMAO
@eat00002 4 ай бұрын
CAN'T BELIEVE I MISSED THAT D: thank god for kwute :D
@ImitationAfton 4 ай бұрын
"If there was just one more car, i would have died!"
@MossIsMossy 4 ай бұрын
When's the kwite drunk driving asmr dropping?
@EmberExists 4 ай бұрын
I have been collecting those asmr videos like Pokémon😭
@tRiPiNsHrOoMz 4 ай бұрын
4:56 ouch that was a call-out
@gbilIz 4 ай бұрын
That first one could be more true. I got £30 STRAIGH AFTER a 70cm tall beer holder. I DONT EVEN DRINK BEER
@lilyofthevalley430 4 ай бұрын
I would hope you don't drink bears
@TRIANGLE_CUT1E 3 ай бұрын
8:21 BONNIE WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU!? “ 9:48 h-hell naw”
@tatystextingstory1269 4 ай бұрын
Yooooo currently playing sonic frontiers and then this drops nice
@jasperburchard9344 4 ай бұрын
Love ur videos man
@Clay-qq5vb 4 ай бұрын
absolutely wild seeing my chats after i watched the stream
@user-cp3le5li1t 25 күн бұрын
His chin gives me anxiety 7:55
@Whatevertheheckiam 4 ай бұрын
not this fnck ahh video reminding me why I subbed to you 8 bit susan