Although your first instinct may be to hire a lawyer who is a "shark," you can divorce a narcissist through mediation assuming your mediator has training and experience in dealing with difficult personalities.
You may be worried the narcissist will try to charm the mediator and win him or her over. A strong and experienced mediator won't let that happen but that's where a certified divorce financial analyst (CDFA) can add a layer of protection.
Your narcissist spouse may have already figured out how to divide assets and address child and spousal support. The CDFA, as a financial expert, can explain how various proposals or ways of splitting the marital pie may impact you financially in the short and long term. Armed with that information, you can make smart choices.
You and your spouse can hire the CDFA as a neutral financial expert or if you want an advocate to help you become financial savvy, you can hire a CDFA to work exclusively for you. The CDFA helps level the playing field when one spouse has more financial knowledge and experience than the other or there is a power imbalance in the relationship.
If you live in California, check out TheOptionsLady.com to see if Laurie Itkin may be the financial neutral or advocate you need. She has worked on more than 450 divorce cases for clients throughout California. If you live outside California, you can find a CDFA at institutedfa.com/find-a-cdfa.
Laura McGee of LeaveStrong.com is a mediator who has significant training and experience in dealing with difficult personalities. She mediates cases for California residents and also acts as a divorce coach and strategist for clients around the country if she is not the client's mediator.
key moments
0:00 Does Mediation Work When Divorcing a Narcissist?
0:42 Considering Divorcing a Narcissist?
3:10 Breaking Down What Mediation Is
7:37 Dealing with a Narcissist