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@amantin5 жыл бұрын
Thanks for this Julien!! Some notes 2:43 - 1. Suppressing your feelings 4:47 - 2. Expressing your Feelings 7:12 - 3. Escape /avoid your feelings 10:07 - *Letting* *go* 14:19 - Levels of feelings Personal take-away, just keep untangling, 1 by 1 12:20 - Tissues in box analogy
@arthurmurfitt76989 ай бұрын
Thx, brother!
@user-cm9lz1rn3w4 жыл бұрын
The letting go process is essentially akin to vipassana meditation which if you practice will take you deeper that the Hawkings process &help you immensely to deal with the most difficult of emotions as it really does purify the deepest root of the self with continued practise just be patient with yourself as well as loving and giving to yourself and you will come to a state where your habitual thinking patterns that do not serve you are fully understood and no longer have power over you alongside with their associated emotions especially when you understand the law of impermanence correctly & then you shall arrive at a place of genuine equanimity & balanced happiness & self belief, you must allow your emotions without either clinging or aversion so that they may dissipate & have no power over you, i wish you all many blessings and the greatest of success upon your journey, just keep on keeping on because you're doing this for you!! and as a result others will benefit and your life will change for the better.
@carecree8884 жыл бұрын
“Thoughts are endless and reinforcing” and “you can’t use thoughts to get rid of thoughts” wow. These two statements really hit me. I have heard David Hawkins say these things before in talks I’ve watched on KZfaq but this was the reminder I needed tonight. Thanks.
@cidaoaparecido41628 жыл бұрын
If anyone liked this video, I really recommend to buy the book, I`m about to finish it, and it has a lot of valuable teachings that Julien didn't mention.
@krnriceboi6196 жыл бұрын
Reading this book helped me find one of the root causes of why I’ve been depressed, angry, lazy and in constant fear. It also helped me find the root cause of my fear of approaching anxiety, something that I didn’t really have until last year... which really hindered my ability to socialize in general... I truly truly TRULY appreciate you making this video! Thank you so much, Julian!
@tonymorse67325 жыл бұрын
Good for you never give up push through your fears and be all you can be I had depression and anxiety and was in alot of pain and got the power to get through it all
@SirVonStein4 жыл бұрын
Going to be getting this book this week then. I'm in a terrible place and on a downward spiral. Looking for any help possible. Thanks.
@retardedphil4 жыл бұрын
@@SirVonStein how did it go?
@luisterrust4 жыл бұрын
I can definitely relate to your story. Went through the same and this book was my eye-opener as well! Take care man and stay safe! ❤️💪
@ksksdjjd22544 жыл бұрын
what was the reason
@p5rsona8 жыл бұрын
I used to always go after the high feelings, vibrations, and constantly avoid all the "negative" feelings. It caught up to me and now I am going through a depression which has lasted for years. The heavy traumas and abuse I suffered due to my parents is still deep inside and only now am I discovering the importance of experiencing and letting go of these feelings. I have much to learn and will most likely go to therapy for needed help. Thank you for this video Julien.
@kenlevi66305 жыл бұрын
I've had the same experience and I went to therapy specifically for trauma from my own childhood. There are different kinds or versions to work with trauma. My therapist used what he called trauma informed internal family systems therapy. It was incredible to begin to find out how my childhood experience has impacted my entire life. It was sometimes a very intense process but so worth it. I hope you do go for it. Just ask and you'll be guided to the right one to help you.
@crbarnes001 Жыл бұрын
Same here I tried to suppressed feelings now I allow them to surface lusten to them allow them to do what they need to and know I will survive. Then I just let it go.
@waterofbabylon91696 жыл бұрын
This is actually the only thing that we need. We dont need philosophy, psychology, intellect, politics, selfhelp books, self help gurus, motivation, religion, mythology, ideology, entertainment, hustle, pick up. After being on the path of self development and pickup for 10 years I arrived in my truth. Thats literally the only thing. That's what's everything is about.
@niclasnorby6 жыл бұрын
It sounds interesting. Can you elaborate further?
@guillemgarcia36306 жыл бұрын
I couldn't actually agree more
@yourmom92006 жыл бұрын
You could argue that this is a self-help book based on philosophy and psychology.
@MJY36925 жыл бұрын
I agree
@bloodie62845 жыл бұрын
I absolutely agree. Everything else is mostly beating around the bush. All else is ok simply if one is interested in gaining knowledge on different topics in life. But, as you've alluded to, all of those things don't bring Happiness. Letting go is the way.
@richa44258 жыл бұрын
Julien, your book reviews are more insightful than Tai Lopez. I like how you focus on spiritual and personal development. Thanks.
@monikasitarz25434 жыл бұрын
Rich if you focus on spiritual stuff start with letting go of comparing people's work:)
@user-fx3ou2jh9k2 жыл бұрын
I want to thank you and Owen, and all of RSD for everything you've done for me. I would never have thought to read this book and it changed my life. I have relinquished my old belief systems and changed my perspective. I'm having unexplainably good luck, and I'm noticing less and less negativity from those around me and my life situation. If you're feeling like your life is worthless, as I did, you need to read this book. It is possible you are experiencing death of the ego. I almost signed up for your mentoring program, but it was outside of what I deemed reasonable in cost. I decided to get this book instead, and I've booked the vacation of a lifetime. Thank you again, brother.
@JulienHimself8 жыл бұрын
DO NOT miss out on next week's book: "The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment" by Eckhart Tolle (amzn.to/1KnN7tU) ►►► And DO NOT forget to SUBSCRIBE for more!!! kzfaq.info
@jimyhustle8 жыл бұрын
+JulienHimself thank you julien i was waiting for that one and can you please do these:(just a suggestion) anthony robbins awaken the giant within the way of a superior man david mastery george leonard
@adolessonmedia18268 жыл бұрын
+JulienHimself looks like you've lost some weight! The mansion is doing you well.
@kuchenstyler8 жыл бұрын
+JulienHimself Awesome, my favorite book ever!
@stevedoyle7828 жыл бұрын
+JulienHimself Finannlyyy yess really looking forward to hearing your thoughts on this one
@davidfosford8 жыл бұрын
+JulienHimself are you planning on reading the book 'Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol Dweck'?
@Hasnain1F8 жыл бұрын
Perhaps this is the one most powerful spiritual practice. You described it all. When we make peace with ourselves and our emotions, life becomes better. We become better.
@vitorcola7 жыл бұрын
i saw this videos 2 times until i really got it, now i can see the really power of this, and i wish to everyone to have this awakening !! peace bros
@saughs8 жыл бұрын
Goes along with the "whatever you resist persists" phrase. I love that feeling of getting it out of your system and feeling relieved
@laurayates40333 жыл бұрын
EVERY person in the world should hear this. Absolutely appreciate this review on the book and the general importance of not avoiding ourselves. Rock on!
@Sebastian-iv9iw8 жыл бұрын
I have to say, I've been a bit doubtful at first that this self-help path will help you grow, Julien. But you look so alive , so expressive and really rounded out as a person in the past few months, so much props!
@rawster1003 жыл бұрын
This really helps me today. I totally understand that change in my thinking and controlling my emotions is a good start.
@weezybaby2267 жыл бұрын
one of the most likable people I've ever seen on youtube. currently reading a couple hawkins books right now and this is a great overview
@thomasgrabowski22028 жыл бұрын
Oh yeah, I have read this book and thought it was brilliant. I think everybody is suppressing. repressing, and escaping and it takes a lot of courage to face your own feelings. I read a book by Mary O'Connell (I believe that is her last name) called "The Gift of our compulsions" and she mentions that our feelings are more afraid of us than we are afraid of our feelings. It's important to have compassion for each and every single one of them to be integrated and whole again. Spending time in solitude can be frighting but the rewards afterwards are just mind blowing. It's harder for guys since we are told not to feel, but man...your world is so crippled if you don't feel all of it. Or... put it more positively, you are more well equipped in understanding others by dealing with your own suppressed shit. Not easy! But worth it.
@StudyYourself7 жыл бұрын
I am a big follower of a David R. Hawkins and thanks for breaking this book down , keep up the good work
@amirbahadori87834 жыл бұрын
Willie I follow your content - love your posts. Glad Dr. Hawkins' work is getting more attention.
@DcGab3 жыл бұрын
Same as Amir , thank you Willie !
@mattcama65048 жыл бұрын
Love the new change in you brother. Amazing video
@JulienHimself8 жыл бұрын
+Matt Cama Thank you!
@Flywithparker3 жыл бұрын
Tha fatha himsalf
@rayannchi-masteryourreality3 жыл бұрын
Love love love this book!!! I have the audio and hard copy. I have decided to dedicate my day to day to study and practice on a daily and take notes as I go along. Life changing book indeed!!
@Arby117chief8 жыл бұрын
I WILL read this one. This is one of the things I struggle with the most. Often times, I just find myself unable to let go and so the sadness remains way more that it should. I want to say thank you, Julien! Seriously, you're helping me move through some hard times.
@sparkyanderson65203 жыл бұрын
Impressed. Thank you for sharing. Believe that Hawkins is the wisest man to walk the Earth in the last 400+ years. Glad his works are being shared.
@abethethird83814 жыл бұрын
I just experienced myself & my feelings through breathing and letting it come up. I just started immediately laughing, I felt a lightness in my body & head. I finally feel free and liberated. I can't thank you enough. I'm gonna buy transformation mastery as a thank, I'm speechless right now. Thank you. Wow xDD
@luisterrust4 жыл бұрын
His techniques are so powerful! Keep up the progress :)
@HouseJunk1e Жыл бұрын
That book changed my life. Great one to re-read every year or so.
@alexwallin64012 жыл бұрын
The more you run from your problem the further you get from the solution
@JulienHimself2 жыл бұрын
Yes, exactly!
@fiveyearold8 жыл бұрын
I wasn't sure yesterday. But after using it, I'm pretty sure you just reaffirmed a tool for me that is going to change my life and has already changed probably how yesterday was going to go. The videos with practical tools like this are my favorite. Thank you
@tkushhhnigga8 жыл бұрын
I'm 17 going into my senior and Julien your videos have changed and helped me grow as a person so much you and all the other RSD guys but most especially you, keep doing what your doing you're certainly making a positive impact on the world the knowledge that you give in these videos I'm able to pass on to those around me and help them grow to be better versions of themselves. It's like you always say it's win win for everyone.
@motassimjihad81658 жыл бұрын
same here , however im in an all boy highschool so it is really disappointing, however, i keep lying to women from malls about my age so i can get a one night stand ;)
@KatelynLesk8 жыл бұрын
This is a great review! I never took the time to notice the difference between letting go of thoughts and letting go of feelings!
@JulienHimself8 жыл бұрын
+Katelyn Lesk Thanks Katelyn! :)
@Hugomoviesandmore4 жыл бұрын
That was huge! IAUHSIAUHS
@deanshaw54782 жыл бұрын
I’m so glad I’m not the only one thirst for the never ending answers to being our absolute true self. Is there a way we could speak, I’ve never been so satisfied to listen.
@isiah618910 ай бұрын
The exact moment you told me to focus on what i feel inside and to let that come up, I immediately felt guilt and began crying.
@simonhill62675 жыл бұрын
Keep reading Hawkins and stay on the path. 🙏
@Zarat878 жыл бұрын
Awesome video Julien! Thank you for uploading this! One thing i learned having this in mind was that through meditation I could release all the negative energy by feeling them to the core and once I released it i started to be happier! Its like negative thoughts occupy the space positive emotions should have. Once I expressed them and stopped trying to ignore them or hide them I spent less energy by just allowing myself to feel. Thanks again!
@ringotheshiba82845 жыл бұрын
I really think this meditation just released me of alot emotional pain. and connected me back to my ❤️. Thank you for this review. I did this and it feels like it can be a good practice, like brushing your teeth before you go out. Be with yourself truly. That way there is nothing really to fear.
@K4113B41138 жыл бұрын
Amazing stuff! I can barely explain my excitement over these videos. I always thought about how progressing in the game is very similar to spiritual progression in many ways and then boom, all of a sudden, you guys are talking about it. Keep them coming, I'm really appreciating them!!
@johnd12822 жыл бұрын
Me too
@premiumorangejuice63927 жыл бұрын
Julien, I've been following you since your RSD days and I'm so glad that it was you that moved to this phase of teaching. Thank you so much man. One of the most uplifting videos I saw was actually not the seduction stuff but the one where the RSD team helped you with your fear of water. Thank you for being such a wonderful helping person
@stevenl17068 жыл бұрын
I really liked what you said at the end there about meditation Julien. I meditate every night and focus on just observing thoughts that come up, yet I still haven't found myself to be any more attuned to my changing emotions. Definitely going to just let up the emotions in my next session. Great book review man
@Lichtz8 жыл бұрын
Loving your evolution.
@JulienHimself8 жыл бұрын
+The Oracle Thanks! ;)
@timtrocke5 жыл бұрын
Love this phrase!!
@MultiPAVEL868 жыл бұрын
You're the man, Julien. Really helps.
@JulienHimself8 жыл бұрын
+MultiPAVEL86 Thanks!!
@MrPagnito8 жыл бұрын
+MultiPAVEL86 hey multiPAVEL I'm also a Pavel...and i also think this guy is the man...Ive never met another Pavel ho ho ho houu
@domenicops17 жыл бұрын
This is huge. Looks more clear for me now that is a mistake try to get rid of thoughts with thoughts. Focus on feelings is our self-awareness working and this is HUGE !. Great evolution and excellent explanation Julien
@ibrahimashoor63677 жыл бұрын
I'm gonna express my feelings now and I'm gonna say that you really made me let it OUT. Thank you.
@ReinaldoNeto78 жыл бұрын
Everytime I watch your videos, I fell some kind of appreciation. Good job, bro!
@crszitamarshall4 жыл бұрын
Julian I've been watching many of your videos and all I can say is Thank you! So insightful and so helpful to everyone. And that all for free. Truly grateful. Keep up the good work!
@TheAlmightyClipse5 жыл бұрын
I love your work Julien.. This really helped me during some serious life and survival struggles in 2017! I'm going through a painful breakup and it's just as helpful revisiting this in 2019... Thank you, you are a blessing!.. So glad you made it through the other side after that media fiasco...
@timtrocke5 жыл бұрын
TheAlmightyClipse hope all is well with you. You’re stronger than you think 💪 ❤️
@loicencetoshill5260 Жыл бұрын
Updates please
@DanielSquires2 жыл бұрын
*Great hearing your perspective. The more we can LET GO the more we can LET IN!* ✔️
@kendred79848 жыл бұрын
I swear I'll be having a problem and then Julien makes a video about it. Thanks!
@MarioTomicOfficial8 жыл бұрын
Adding this one to the "To read" list, thanks for the idea!
@JulienHimself8 жыл бұрын
+Mario Tomic Sick, you're gonna love it!
@jeem83655 жыл бұрын
You twins!
@JJ668884 жыл бұрын
You can get it for free on audible amzn.to/3ehVqYa
@JulienHimself6 жыл бұрын
►►► START YOUR TRANSFORMATION NOW: julienhimself.com/self-help/
@feeltheforce79226 жыл бұрын
Very grateful for this content. An apt summary of an important manual. Your delivery is a good balance between lively and laid back. Am following you on FB and Insta. GG
@avasarahc54 жыл бұрын
what did you mean by experience it externally?
@TheJasperlife7 жыл бұрын
My favourite book... led me into reading all, and I mean ALL of his other books. Yeah Hawkins!!!
@PowerHeart9993 жыл бұрын
healing and recovery is a greaat what do you think?
@trevormhundwa16998 жыл бұрын
You've really grown as a speaker, you're an inspiration julien!
@gooeyst.ranger85624 жыл бұрын
I am in this place of releasing, thank u for this video, came right in time. my feels are so deep, especially in the absense of thought, then comes the sweet free. I am here.
@ravenpshimmers5 жыл бұрын
Highly recommend this book, it was gifted to me in Divine Timing and has powerful advice!
@andreaself90896 жыл бұрын
Wow, Julien! What a great review! You covered all the important angles of the book, I liked that you quoted from it as much as you could. I constantly go back to this whenever I feel a bit lost and it just gets me on the right track again. I find myself saying "yes... yes" constantly because of all his insights and just his way of being that opens me up. Thank you so much for condensing it!
@johnnyyoung82948 жыл бұрын
I fucking loved this book it changed my life so much!!
@danielrazulay2 жыл бұрын
You ain't happy.. you're either manic, just came back from a marathon or high.. that mime.. priceless.
@kraftmuppen8 жыл бұрын
Thank you for this video Julien. I've recently felt very stressed, worried and afraid. These videos help out a lot.
@dennisshipman35853 жыл бұрын
I've read the book and I would like to thank you for this video. This was a nice reminder to get back to letting go.
@brandonherrera78285 жыл бұрын
His elaboration,articulating and dialogue skills are insane
@insane24138 жыл бұрын
Julien, big fen of you. One friendly advice - less movement of the hands. Keep pushin with quality videos as usual!
@nucleus37335 жыл бұрын
ThAnks for this. I love your mad gesticulating. You remind me of myself in that respect. I also went from PUA to an interest in these things. I wish you well.
@mslgizzle3 жыл бұрын
This book JUST CAME IN MY MAIL 2 DAYS AGO!!! I love it so much so far, this was the best investment
@AC-fi8ge Жыл бұрын
Heh heh. In the depth of ultimate despair, humility, and totally honest introspection... Julien discovers the true nature of love, kindness, and enlightenment. Congratulations :)
@jackcoltrane55326 жыл бұрын
Guys, do the TM-Live, it already helped me a lot!! I`ve done it twice and will do it three times again, to let it sink in completely!! My self-worth is changing, I let out a lot of frustration and anger on a sub-conscious level and can now FINALLY progress to Love!! I feel way more at ease with life and settled!! Instead of doing the Live Event you can also start by paying attention to your emtions and leetting them out / letting go of them!!!
@FedericoGompertz8 жыл бұрын
This is the most grounded and mature video I've seen of you, and I've seen them all of your new channel. Congrats for all your personal growth and you're an inspiration +JulienHimself . Thanks for all your sharing!
@KAYLAROSEKOTECKI6 жыл бұрын
Great synopsis! Thanks for this videos This book is amazing! :)
@MediDrawing8 жыл бұрын
When it comes to voice and body language, Julien one of the most expressive persons i've seen =)
@aedryk8 жыл бұрын
+Peacekeeper He has said in the past that the sheer ability to express himself without constraint is the most liberating feeling he's ever had. This is why game speaks to him. It's like an art form whereby you take your personality and present it to the world. He was a very stifled and shy person for his entire youth that's why I think he took off running when the shell broke.
@garywilliams59378 жыл бұрын
Woah I would have never thought Julien would be doing this kind of content. I love it. Going through a bad break-up and really need to let go. Thanks so much Julien.
@Squirrel-zq6oe Жыл бұрын
I remember this Julien. Attention grabbing high energy communication. Love you bro 🙏🤘 love to follow your evolution and see you become so aware and insightful to people's inner world, helping people more effectively all the time. Thank you 🤘🙏
@Josh-ok2xf8 жыл бұрын
thanks julien i really needed this video at this point in my life. im 16 and trying to acheive in music production, engineering, dealing with forster care and school and future choices in life.... now i have anaylsed i can overcome
@CarlosFerreira-vw3jv8 жыл бұрын
Thank you for this video and all of the massive value you've been giving. Thank you! Hope all is well.
@ernestwerbel62357 жыл бұрын
12:20 I like the Tissues In A Box analogy!
@alanras3707 жыл бұрын
It's a great analogy. I knew David Hawkins in 1981, before he started writing books. Every other idea (besides the kleenex box) in Julien's tape here, Hawkins received from Lester Levenson of the Sedona Method, that feelings are the key to controlling thoughts, that under it all we have the basic nature of peace and love, that's there a scale of emotions running from apathy in low energy to acceptance and such in high energy. Good to see David spreading the insights.
@kareemmohammed52708 жыл бұрын
your words julien in this video should be written in gold. really resonate. I think I tend to fluctuate sometimes between all the different states which you mentioned in the end.
@yannickm8668 жыл бұрын
Thanks Julien! Following you for years. You Videos Are getting better and better! You really changed my life! Keep it up to!
@michael_viteritti6 жыл бұрын
Thank you for sharing. Indeed letting go is powerful!
@egbertjeeeee8 жыл бұрын
Love this review man. Thanks Julien. I really liked and recommend healing and recovery by David Hawkins as well.
@adigigiwupe33495 жыл бұрын
A lot of work for me. Was supressing emotions for 15 years : )
@tommarshall56287 жыл бұрын
You've changed so much dude. Or rather you've become more you! Awesome to see, I'm very impressed. Can't wait to delve into your new content. Thanks!
@halonutter8 жыл бұрын
I'd just like to say I've really benefited from this. Thanks a lot Julien, I appreciate your work.
@kuchenstyler8 жыл бұрын
Just Thank you Julien, I really appreciate your effort.
@djdrea8 жыл бұрын
power vs force my favorite!!! thanks so much this was very helpful
@jphshow96683 жыл бұрын
Massive, at first I thought I am suppressing my emotions by watching this video, then I was like I’m on the doing and more of a higher conscientious, then I realize I have to start being it for happiness
@Sekolaine11 ай бұрын
Extremely good review thanks for this!😊
@PaulLarke19803 жыл бұрын
The other day I saw someone fall into a canal. I felt extreme fear for their life when I realised the person couldn't swim. Thankfully I was able to consciously recognise this fear, let it go and walk on by. My new phrase for life is: Walk on by, stay dry (Cal: 778). So at peace now.
@vinnyrivera4858 жыл бұрын
This is the very thing that the zen group that I take part in does. All this extremely healthy and I could only agree more!
@nomadicchef53377 жыл бұрын
Awesome Julien. I just googled David Hawkins and saw this video. I was pleasantly suprised that it came from the RSD community (I've always derived huge value from you guys, despite not being particularly into PUA)
@gabrieltrs06 жыл бұрын
bought this book because of you. Its a really good thecnique
@dennychow14592 жыл бұрын
Another gem of a video ❤
@JulienHimself2 жыл бұрын
Thank you!
@diegogarbin18 жыл бұрын
be positive and cultivate gratitude is a way too
@front2437 жыл бұрын
This is what I have been doing for a while now. I have not read the book but I added it to my Amazon wishlist (which is long, but I will get to it eventually). I have found nature to be helpful to remove distractions. I happen to live nearby a forest where I walk almost every day. I never take my phone or any other distractions with me (if anybody calls they can wait until I get home), I prefer forest, other might prefer walking by the beach. Try what works best. As you get better in touch with your emotions you can tell the difference. I am lucky living near nature but if you are in a big city maybe a park will do. Some of the emotions can be a bit hard to handle. I had trouble with anger for instance. Journaling is what I have been doing here. Just write anything down that comes to mind. Don't think about grammar or spelling, you're the only one reading it.
@marksabia34685 жыл бұрын
I found this extremely powerful....as a teacher myself the simplification of this concept is massively helpful....my question is when working with cerebral people that have their heart centers closed off and have a hard time feeling emotion.....what do u suggest....for me it takes awhile to help them access their heart and emotions
@John-qi9cj8 жыл бұрын
Love u Julien. U have no idea how applicable this is to my life right now
@JB-wx4wo Жыл бұрын
Wow I never thought about projecting or surpressing pressing positive feelings
@Mommamia1117 жыл бұрын
Love your energy!!! First time I watch your video I came across tonight!!!! Thank you!!
@JulienHimself7 жыл бұрын
Thanks for watching! :)
@IshanBhasin15 жыл бұрын
Dude I love you Julian. The contexts you pull are just so helpful. Wow. What amazing thoughts. Man you a champ
@caramocha0099 ай бұрын
So helpful. Thank you!
@PassionateFighter135 жыл бұрын
Very well said! Thanks.
@cakezpana84164 жыл бұрын
I never thought I will let go of my feeling and move on from fantasy... I bought tht book months ago online
@ericanding8 жыл бұрын
Thanks for taking the time to do these book reviews. I recently read, Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: How to Lose Your Mind and Create a New One by Dr. Joe Dispenza. It was definitely a book that was hard to put down. I highly recommend it.
@themizzu128 жыл бұрын
+Eric Anding Great recommendation!
@fabia.24158 жыл бұрын
Hey man do you have a top 5 books list? would love to know you're favorites
@letrolltwo56258 жыл бұрын
+Eric Anding upvoted for a Julien review/perspective on Dr. J's book :)
@westedgehho8 жыл бұрын
My husband and I have been doing the meditations and the process of breaking out of our old habits... Joe Dispenza is God Sent as is David R Hawkins... I have most of his books and just ordered 2 of the Letting Go cause my husband and I will both want to read it, and we like to do that at the same time.
@npi572 жыл бұрын
Being honest, when i try like to feel what is happening with me i start to feel like anxious and start to laugh. Even though i am alone