It took me 38 years to call it quits. But the peace I gained for whatever life I have left made it worth the change.

I married my husband when I was 19. When our son was 10 and our daughter 8 there were things my husband was battling that made me feel my children and myself were not safe. So I decided to separate from him. I loved my husband very much and I knew the demons so to speak, that caused him to make some poor decisions. Through the separation he saw his children, helped support us financially and got counseling. It was his wake up call so to speak. We reunited a little over a year later. He changed his ways and we stayed married for going on 41 years until he passed October of 2022. ❤

Nothing beats peace

I left after 35 years and had family and friends turned against me but I am finally at peace and joy after 4 years of getting over trauma.

Sandra, I was married for 35 years to a wonderful, quiet man for 33 of those years. We built a studio separate from our house, which we were going to share. By the time he filled his “half”, there was no room for me. Gradually the studio became his home and the house was mine and the dog’s. We began to live separate lives and the five years difference in our ages seemed to grow. I tried an intervention with our son (my step son) but it did no good. We finally split 5 years ago and surprisingly I met a younger man who is quite wonderful. The roads in life can take us to such surprising places.

Fascinating talk. I'm in a miserable 46-year marriage with a terminally ill man, and I made the decision to stay because the burden of his care would fall on my children with young children of their own. It's a hard call every day-some days, he's not so bad, and other days the end won't come soon enough. God and I have lots of deep conversations. The reality is that I am responsible for my own happiness, and I've achieved that every day.

Stopped a divorce action with my 1st husband and my attorney advised that if it had got to the point where it was decided divorce was the best option and the divorce action was stopped, that people ended up coming back shortly thereafter to refile and complete the divorce, and he was right. Staying in a less than tolerable situation just because a person has spent so many years in that situation, is a disservice to a person’s very soul.

Being married into your 60s & 70s is a test of your tolerance and patience. It's vital that each partner has their own set of hobbies and friends.

Sandra this video could not have come at a better time. I’m a 24 year old black, gay man from Indianapolis and just last night was contemplating leaving my relationship of 3 years. Your video today was exactly what the doctor ordered. Please keep doing what you do. Thank you

I was married for 34 years and with him for 37 years. He was having an affair with another woman and wrote her a love letter on his computer right in front of me. I divorced him. He passed away recently and my son told me that he had affairs while we were married with three of my so called friends. I sold the marital home, split the money in half, moved out of state close to my youngest son of three sons, and met a wonderful man. We've been together for almost 16 years. He treats me better than I've ever been treated. We are not married. I'm so thankful that I got the courage to end the marriage and move on. I felt God's hand on my right shoulder pushing me the entire time. I am blessed.

My husband of 25 years had a stroke and became permanently paralyzed. He lives in a care home and although the transition was financially stressful for a while, my life is SO much better without him in it. He was abusive. The second night he was in the hospital I found out he had a relationship with a woman for 12 years out of the 25 we were married. We’re still legally married because there’s no reason to get a divorce and lose half of the wealth. So I guess I got the best deal that I could - lose the husband but keep the money.

I stayed single for the 17 years I raised my daughter, some of the best years of my life.

I tried to stay in my marriage because I had said my vows and believed in them. He did not and told me to leave. I'm so grateful! I would have ruined my life if I had stayed.

Don't assume that you should stay in a bad marriage "for the sake of the children". The end of my parents' marriage was one of the best things that ever happened to me - and my five siblings. Living with him was a torment to us too.

I totally understand. I was married to a narcissist for 15 yrs and had no idea. Once I was given a book on this type of personality I finally got out. 🙏❤️ My home has so much peace now.

After 26 years I could no longer take it after years of trying and called it quits. He refused to go to therapy telling me I needed to go, I went and came to new conclusions for myself as a result. He would not speak to me for months on end if there was a difference of opinion or if I did not agree to do something he ordered me to do. I sprouted wings at the time I made the decision and told him I wanted to divorce. Frankly, I was the only horse pulling the cart and finally felt free free free of the gaslighting, narcissistic emotional mistreatment I had been receiving from him all those years.🤸🏽‍♂️🤸🏽‍♂️🤸🏽‍♂️Wheee, I was free!! 🎉🎉🎉 all I can say to those that have a similar situation, trust your instincts, they were given to you as a gift, do not ignore them. We deserve to have a joy filled and happy life free of perpetual walking on eggshells waiting for the monster to come out again.

Arthur hit the jackpot with you, Sandra. And that, is the truth ❤

Hello Sandra I was married for 25 years to a totally unfaithful and controlling man. I wanted to leave but found it extremely difficult as I had very little time alone. I couldn't abandon my rescue pets. My family had all passed away. But, as fate had it he became extremely ill with liver and bowel cancer. I nursed him till it became too difficult as I wasn't able to lift him . He died in hospital a week later. I've been living alone for 10 years with my now elderly pets. When they pass I will move on. I met a very kind man but made sure he knows I only want companionship. We see each other often. I feel freedom is my best friend.

My husband is bipolar and won’t take his meds for it. He verbally abuses me daily. Long story short everything I do is wrong so stressful. We have been married 53 yrs I am 73 he is 77. All our working yrs we worked separate hours since retirement it has been rough. I have aged a lot where he hasn’t. Thanks for listening

Such easy words to say in your 20's-30's "For better or for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, til death do you part"

Thank you Sandra for doing this video and your honesty. I have been married to a man for 22 years now who from day one never wanted me in the same bedroom. It was full of yelling at me and the son he had already had when he met me. He is full of anger which was hidden from me when dating him. I never get a hug, or attention. He got a big house with a huge yard that by the time I was fifty five I begged him to move. I didn't want to do the stairs anymore and the place and yard are just too much. I dream of my own ranch house here in MA. He doesn't even care how the house looks or the yard. So he is hanging on to it while I'm miserable and about to turn 67 in 3 months. No intimacy ever. I feel so alone and that I deserve better. He just used me to babysit his son, clean the house and have someone to yell at. I don't drive do to anxiety attacks I can get. So it will be hard. But I have decided Life if too short to live so unfulfilled.I have stayed long enough.

I wake up and for about 15 seconds I feel my happy self, and then it hits me the misery i am in with this man. You give me strength, you give me courage.

My husband and I have been married for almost 44 years, it seems the best marriages consist of two good forgivers! ❤❤

my wife of 44 years died of cancer...I cry a lot....She was an angel sent to me ! I called her Kitten...She was the greatest friend I have ever had in all my life of living.....I am 72 years old, and Forever Alone...I was her caregiver, and was there holding her hand at the bed side when she died on hospice in November 2017....I am as a sparrow Alone upon the housetop ...

I am 64.my husband is 54. I have been miserable for the last 15 years of our marriage. There’s too much mental illness on his part and I just can’t deal with the anger and control. Thank you for your kind words. It gave me a lot to think about. I do not love my husband any longer so I think the choice is clear.

My doctor told me as people hit their late 60’s the frontal lobe cortex begins to shrink and people can lose their filters. Men become even grumpier, angry,etc. it’s a credit to you and Arthur that you could overcome those challenges.

I've heard from many women who reach the wise age over 65 and say those exact words "I've had it and I deserve peace and quiet". Women are amazing human beings - we find our inner strength & courage no matter what decisions we choose and more forward. Thank you for sharing you personal story with all of us Sandra. And may all the women out there in the world find their "peace and quiet"❤ One of my favorite quotes ~ I want to be like a sunflower 🌻so that even on the darkest days I will stand tall and find the sunlight☀~

I recently separated from my husband who is an extreme taker. He exhibits narcissistic personality traits and maybe some bipolar traits as well. We have been married for four very difficult years. He never physically hurt me, but the emotional and mental abuse was constant. I always tried to keep the peace and tried to keep the triggers from setting him off. It is very difficult and scary to leave a person who you put all of your faith and trust into. However, when they don't respect you, show you any kindness, or acknowledge that their behavior toward you is wrong, it's time to leave. When they lie to you, and cheat on you, it's time to leave. When they yell at you at the top of their lungs and make you feel like you don't matter, it's time to leave. It's been almost three months since I moved out and here is what I notice. I can breathe again. My racing mind has slowed down, and I am starting to feel safe. The pain in my body from being tense all the time is starting to subside. My friends call to check on me more often and spend time with me because he always discouraged them or made them feel unwelcomed in the past. I am starting to feel little glimmers of happiness, and tiny sparks of creativity again. No one should have to put up with this type of treatment just because they took a vow of "for better or worse". "Worse" should never be abuse, and I'm glad you clarified that at the beginning Sandra.

I had to ask myself those hard questions at 60. It was scary at the thought of starting over but I did it...I left because I realized he did not want to change. As a narcissist, he enjoyed how he lived his life and I needed to get out so I could enjoy mine as well. I had been resigning myself to a life with him as I was afraid to start over at 60. I love my life now and no longer am walking on eggshells or tiptoeing around his moods and absorbing his abuse. It hasn't been easy...he didn't make it easy, but I made the right decision to save myself. I did it mostly for my new granddaughter at the time because I didn't want her witnessing her grandmother in a psychologically abusive relationship. I wanted to be a better role model and I wanted a better life. Thank you for sharing your experience. We all have to decide what is best for our particular situation. I am glad your husband was willing to go for counselling and make the changes he could ♥

Thank you so much for this video! After 39 years of marriage, one year ago my husband came home and said he was "done". He moved out that night. He had been married before and was raised in a very similar environment of a selfish unattached mother, and unhappy home life. Of course i thought I could give him the love he deserved. He was my world. I wanted to grow old with him. He refused any type of counseling, and wouldn't try to make things work. He's not the man I married. He's cruel, hateful and let down countless people who can't get over the complete change in hm. Funny, when he left, months later I found he had lost 30 lbs too! I would have done anything to make things work, but I'm really struggling to understand how he could just stop loving, or even being civil to me. I hate the person he has become. I have no family left, or children, just my kitties They are my family now. After watching your strength in this video, I hope that I can take care of myself emotionally and physically as you have done .I'm 72, and it's very scary to be in this world alone. But I so admire your strength, and hope to be as happy and comfortable in ife as you are. Thanks for all your wonderful inspiration. God Bless.

I was married for 8 years, and with my one and only husband for 10 years in my 20s. He was mean, controlling, possessive, lazy, mentally, emotionally and at times physically abusive. God finally gave me the strength and a way out. It was the best decision for me. I have thought many times that if he had only been kind, I would have stayed as I believed in keeping my commitment. But my mental health had suffered to the point I was contemplating suicide but my daughter was a toddler and I couldn't do that to her. I am now 67 and every time I've ever thought of marrying again the idea terrifies me because of what my life was like with this man. At 22 yo I was his second wife. The last I heard he was on his 5th wife. I know there were things in my childhood that more than likely caused me to be with this man and that not all men are like him but I never felt safe to marry again. I've never regretted leaving him but did regret ever marrying him. But it is what it is.

We have been married for 45 years. My husband is 13 years older than I. He is as fit as a fiddle and still makes me laugh though he has his moments where he can be very cantankerous. Have learnt to let this moments slide because they are not worth getting myself wound up about. His children adore him and they still come and visit on a regular basis so we are blessed.

Hi Sandra 👋🏾. I'm not sure how or why the algorithm brought you my way, but this was a great video. I'm single and 64 years old. Have been engaged twice and each time the women broke things off. I do pray about other possibilities but I am also very glad that I've not found myself in a bad marriage. Sometimes I pray for a wife and other times, I focus on the fact that I have peace at home, even though I'm not sharing my life with anyone.

Thank you Sandra for your authenticity. Being married for almost 40 years, I to can testify to this. Life can get challenging to no fault of our own, albeit sometimes the valleys can take you under. There were a couple of times that I said, “I’m done!” Yet my husband said, “I’m not done!” Even during hardships, as in the death of our adult son, we weren’t done at the same time. That was enough. Therapy is still our go to. Thank you kindly for your Heart to Heart talk today. God Bless You Real Good Today!

I divorced my husband after 10 years of marriage and we had a son. I was 43 and I told myself repeatedly “till death us do part”, but I just could not live with him one more day. It was the best decision for me and my son. I wanted marriage counseling, and since I was his second wife, he said no to counseling since he did go with his first wife and that counselor was of no help to them. Like Arthur, he and his brothers had a love-hate relationship with their mother. I totally understand where you are coming from. Glad you stayed with Arthur. Thank you for this video.

Thank you Sandra I am 70 , married 48 years and I get what you are saying. Life gets in the way, looking back I am so grateful to be with the man I love and my family, there were times I truly felt as you do and yet I could not love this man more than the day I met him. It took lots of years to see how life was going to play this out, it played it out in ways only God knew.

I thought age might have some privileges and there might be less heavy decisions to make. Alas, I have found life goes on as usual. Thank you, Sandra, for easing our psychological burdens with your honesty.❤

Thank you for this heartfelt video. I've been a widow for 13 yrs. I've never dated but I am very very happy being alone. I hope this video will be a blessing to someone that's struggling with their marriage. Stay safe and take care. Enjoy the rest of your week. Love you❤❤😊😊

I cannot express enough gratitude for your open honesty about your married experience. More people than we could only imagine travel through this life dealing with similar problems.

Relationships are complicated because people are complicated. There are so many reasons to stay, especially in a long term marriage. If I had any advice, it would be for people to address, get therapy, do the work earlier rather than later. I too spent many years being patient with a difficult husband for what I thought was the sake of our family. It was a big price to pay and while I don't regret my choices, I do look back and see that I was living out of fear instead of choosing the life I had.

10 year partnership. I told him he had to leave. In many ways he was wonderful and added to my life, but it was a gilded cage due to his unrelenting unjustified jealousy. He circled around me for a few years, but he never did the work, or let go of his paranoia. I still wish it had worked, and I’ve been alone ever since, but the stress was too much.

Thank you, thank you, thank you, Sandra, for posting this video. It must have been a difficult decision to do so, but I will wager it struck a chord with many of us. I thought I was the only wife of a difficult man who thought about leaving at my age of 68! Now I know I am not alone. What a relief to know there are others out there who struggle with this as well, and can use a shoulder now and then. Love to you.

Love your new haircut. Thank you so much for being so down to earth and sharing personal stories in order to help others. Talk about confidence - if only all of us had 1/2 of your confidence, what we could accomplish. Very serious topic and so helpful. Sometimes when you talk about your life it is often parallel to mine. I love being part of this community, I mentioned once before that you are better than a priest or psychiatrist to listen to when I am feeling down. Thank you.

Thank you for sharing! And SO appreciate your candor. I have never believed that marriage should be a 'death sentence', meaning 'until death do you part'... It should be "until you are deeply unhappy and realize that the relationship is no longer working, nor is it fixable". Doesn't matter how old you are, everyone deserves happiness, so it makes me sad when seniors feel they HAVE to stay, just because they don't know what else to do.

Wow! I can't believe this came today. Yesterday, I moved back in ( after a year separation) from my husband of 38 years. In that year, his health declined dramatically. I realized I do still love him, and although I had all the peace and quiet I thought I wanted, the grass was not really greener...I'm happy to be back in my home enjoying our grandchildren together. Thank you for sharing. It is so helpful to so many.

Marriage means to love an imperfect person perfectly. Thanks for sharing your experience Sandra. Hugs.

Thank you for sharing your testimony and truth about marriage, Hollywood has done us all a great disservice with expectations of love and marriage. Glad you made the right decision for you and your husband. But I can’t tell you how many mature women would rather be widowed than divorced.

Thanks for sharing your story. I have seen first hand where the woman for whatever reason decides she's done with it and the husband is completely blindsided. I'm sure the wives kept asking for what they needed/wanted, nothing changed, then they finally gave up trying & just rode it out until they were done. The husband never saw it coming. Couples usually don't bounce back from that. Glad to hear your marriage did.

Wow. Matching pictures!!! Kind women keep thinking..maybe tomorrow will be better. It never is.

I hope you were happy with your decision. Sometimes one of the two people in the relationship tries harder, gives more, and is more tolerant. I hope you got what YOU needed.

Remember - "this above all - to thine own self be true". That's my motto. It's great living alone. 👍

Thank you dear Sandra for normalizing the difficulties in marriage. I've been married for 40 years to my polar opposite. We had three years where we were extremely unhappy and would have divorced if our finances had allowed. However, we persevered because we loved our family and each other. We are now in a much healthier and happier place. Peaceful and content most of the time. But, I have to admit that opposite attraction is a difficult road and I wouldn't recommend it. Much better to find someone with a similar personality.

THANK YOU for this heartfelt video!!! I needed this. Married 40 years with verbal and emotional abuse. He has complex trauma from childhood trauma. I’ve tried in house separation and it didn’t seem to phase him. I want to make it work and hope for beautiful senior years together, but I also need to consider my well being. Your words are always uplifting. ❤❤

Hi Sandra😊. A beautiful choice you made yourself. There's dignity in there. I'm a firm believer in freedom and true love! May I ask: did he change? Or did you handle him better? I also sense that sometimes we fear there actually might not be someone better out there or just..more of the same... I made the choice to leave the man I loved because he chose to not step up to be fully in the relationship with me. I wasn't willing to dance the dance of pretense and superficiality. It was so hard! And of course facing being Single again and being alone so much is a challenge in and of itself. I hope you celebrate your life in this season of life and embrace yourself fully, you're precious. ❤ Btw, my name is Sandra as well.😊 Blessings from Germany. (Currently traveling through Ireland)

Yes Sandra you are better than a priest. You are doing a WONDERFUL JOB FOR THE COMMUNITY. MANY BLESSINGS TO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY❤🎉🌅🙏😄😃😀

Sandra, i felt like you were channeling my mother. My father was exactly how you described Arhur- I could see mannerisms in Arhur during your sweet interviews with him that I commented here were so reminiscent of my dad, also from New York. And like you, my mom considered filing for divorce many times - he had been impacted by the Depression and had to drop out of school at 14 to find a way to help feed the family. His drinking and dark moods were his private side that only she and I saw. Outside our house he was charming and funny and knew how to connect with people, She went Alanon to find support too. But she came to the same crossroads you did, and like you, she realized she loved him and she had the talk with him that things absolutely has to change or she would leave. She would share all this with me and finally one day when I was in high school I told her that I was sorry she was so unhappy but he was my dad and I loved him and I didn’t want to hear about their problems any more. My dad had so many wonderful qualities and luckily he chose to make the effort to respond to what she told him she needed. She passed before him, and I watched my dad, a member of the greatest generation, provider for our family and his mother and sister while they were alive, implode. It was a sad and hard four year decline until he was able to rejoin her again. Thank you for sharing this experience- so important for,this kind of wisdom to be shared.❤ .

Appreciate your honesty. You are not superficial and you do care about others, otherwise you would not have shared this story. You are making a difference in people's lives and for the better!

Thank you for this very personal discussion. I’m sure this will reassure those of us in mature marriages that ups and downs are common to all marriages ❤

Another great video Sandra! my marriage was a second one, and I spent many years praying on whether I should leave or stay. I realized although I didn’t like things about him, I loved him and in the end I stayed. We grew closer during Covid and his cancer and being his caregiver, no matter how hard it was..it was a huge gift to know he passed peacefully. Last year, on his birthday he gave me a huge vase of flowers to show how much he appreciated his care. He didn’t remember our 31st anniversary a week later but passed a month later. I miss all the things that drove me crazy about him. I’m so thankful I stayed.

Sandra…I’d not watched in quite a while. My goodness you look fabulous ❣️❣️New haircut yes but I noticed subtle differences it seems in makeup and hair color. Your teeth are sparkling white.Girl you got it goin on😊You give much encouragement to us “younger” one. 😉 I’ll be 71 in six weeks.😉

I did actually the same! My husband decided to change, so I went back with him. We are much happier these days. I had to do a lot of reflection about my behavior in the relationship as well. There is hope if there is love.💕

I second that, nothing beats peace.

So difficult being in an unhappy marriage. I think you loose yourself it affects so many things. It seems to slowly suck the life out of you, we’ve grown so far apart. I’m in my seventies and have been unhappy for over twenty years in this over fifty year marriage. Thought of leaving a few years ago, but still here. He will not go for counseling. He’s not abusive, never has been. It’s just the constant arguments over ridiculous things. I know there has to be an underlying problem. I think we have both become resentful. I’m happy you and Arthur worked your marriage out. You look beautiful as always Sandra…God bless❤️

Yes, myself being married 33 years and still going through challenges, also went through a divorce for one year, then re married each other again. 😘😉Realization that though there are “things “ I may not love about him, but all in all , looking at the whole picture, with Gods help, being able to love him for who he is. Thanks so much for your transparency. 💕

Thanks Sandra for sharing these very deep and serious issue. I am 82 and have been a widow for 20 years. When I was 81 I went online to meet someone. Not to get married but to meet someone I could go have fun with once in awhile. But God has his plan and I met a wonderful man and we have now been together for a year. But I do have moments when I think, because we are not married, what will I do if something happens to him. How will I be

Looking lovely today, love your hair. Mature marriage is definitely a challenge, especially when one spouse is older. Dealing with health issues can cause a strain on the marriage as well. As you said each person comes into a marriage with their own issues/scars, etc and many times we deal with things in life in a totally different manner than our spouse. I think sometimes we have the impression that this stage in our life will be like a retirement commercial, when in reality there seem to be more challenges. Great discussion today, thank you for sharing

So grateful for your vulnerability!! We’re celebrating our 34th anniversary tomorrow and many of our evening chats lately are reflections on our ability to stick-it-out while we have conflicts, addiction issues, personality differences, control issues. I think we are both amazed we made it to 67 years old and were still excited to see one another at the end of the day. Counseling was absolutely necessary to identify and correct some things. Your deciding to divorce Arthur was probably pivotal in him doing some introspection work about how he was showing up in the marriage and solidified his respect for you. So glad for this conversation you started. We women need honest and real conversations and support that reflect the truths about unions and marriage.

Thank you for this video. You cut through all the psycho babble and get to the nitty gritty. ❤

What an open, honest video, Sandra! I’m sure this sage advice will be helpful to so many women. One of my earliest memories is of my mother telling me that I was going to get an education if she had to go hold my hand every day bc she wanted me to have options, to be able to support myself. She was stuck in her marriage bc divorce was really looked down upon back then, & she didn’t have the ability to support the two of us very well. (Fortunately, I loved school & eventually became a teacher.) But I’ve always been grateful that I had that option & that attitude & spunk Mother taught me! (BTW, she used to recite that poem to me regularly.😀) Cheers to you for another great video!

Happily separated after 35 years of physical, financial and emotional abuse. I finally have peace!

"When she was bad she was horrid"... Thank you for sharing your experience and your advice.

Deaerst Sandra, thank you for talking about marriage. Just because you have been married for a long time is no reason to put up with being disrespected. We vow to love, honor and cherish each other unto death. When one person stops exhibiting the behaviors of those three virtues, and will not improve with intervention, the vows have been broken and the marriage is over.

Your hair always looks so nice, You definitely have that down to a science. I've been following you for a couple years, and I think the reason I was immediately drawn to you was your sense of resilience. In your interviews alongside Arthur, I recognized somewhat the personality of Arthur. I have been separated from my alcoholic husband for 3 years this February 15. We were together for 20 years. Much of what Arthur has gone through was probably very similar to my husband's. He inherited his mother's narcissistic tendencies; It was when he became violent that I knew I had to get out. Three years later he has not changed and is continuing down that path of destruction that he alone chose. Family have tried rehabilitating him - he will not change, he does not want to change. I am 66, nd this 3 years on my own has taught me that I can think for myself. I can provide for my own creature comforts. My kids still love me despite some bad life choices that have divided us in the past. We are closer now, as much a family as can be. I applaud you for your decision, it was definitely for the best as Arthur flourished till the end of his mortal existence. You've done exceedingly well throughout all of this, and have shown us you are a True Survivor. Sending you big hugs and wishes for continued happiness. Please send us up here in Indiana some of your Florida warmth 🥶😁😘 of 9💕

Loved this. 55 years of marriage with Bob has been the best investment I’ve ever made. We invested in each other and through many trials & errors we are still strong. Love means more than receiving. Sometimes you have to use that love to move forward when you don’t want to. Great video. Bottom line: Do everything you can before giving up.

Those last 8 years were the happiest because you took action and it is so inspiring to see such a positive example! The success of s relationship is in its quality not its quantity of time l do believe that. Two people growing older together is beautiful ❤❤ and so it needs healing, care and love. Thank you so much for sharing this Sandra! It is a very important message

This was very interesting. You are so right about running if the situation is abusive. A friend of mine was murdered a few years ago because she tried to make a dangerous marriage work.

I walked out after 37 years, because I retired from working and realized how much I was doing everything just to get it done and not have to fight. My husband quit working one year into the marriage because of back problems and spent most of the money I was earning on toys for himself and enjoying life while the children and I were doing without. I worked double shifts for years. I am so happy now and very close to my adult kids and grandkids.

Thank you for being so honest and vunerable. I too am in my 70s in a marriage of 40+ years. We have gone through a very difficult 2023 with my health and my husband deciding he didn't love where we had moved, just 5 years previously, and that he wanted to go back to work. Slow is the pace with the healing but it is happening. I trust in my Lord and Savior to give me strength, compassion for both of us, and to lead me on this unexpected path.

Your story is my story. My ex also became a pathetic bunch of people when I filed for divorce. I chose myself and I don't regret it for a day. You are worth admiring for staying with your husband. Enjoy your current life to the fullest. ❤

Thanks for sharing your story Sandra. We call a relationship "Hills and Valleys" and it's so true. You just have to decide for yourself if the valleys are worth working together to make it back up to the hills. There is no room for "it's my way or the highway" in a marriage. Marriage is a partnership in every sense of the word. Both working together for the greater good of the quality of life you have in your marriage. Just my two cents.

Greetings Sandra! I can totally relate to this subject and your experience. I left my first husband after 27 years and after a few years we now live together again. It's different, but there you go! You just never know what's ahead. Love and blessings ♥️🙏

One more thought with a quote I love. "People change & forget to tell each other."

Hi Sandra thank you so much for this video, l need it so much. I'm 75yrs married 30yrs and my husband came from an abusive father. I had 3 children to my other husband whom has passed. All grown up with children. All was ok till 1yr a go and he stopped talking to my adult children. Very weird behaviour. They won't come near the house now, so l feel lonely. Nearly died last year had a heart attack and a stent put in. He won't listen to anything l say. I'm not sure if l am strong enough for divorce. Sandra you have given me a lot to think of. Thank you so much.❤❤

Absolutely Sandra, "love does not alter, when it alteration finds, or bends with the remover to remove" William Shakespere sonnets.... my husband passed away 15th Jan 23 after 25 years together...he was always "going out" could not sit still, always losing things, never locked the car , or shut the windows, so I always had to check things...but we had the best time...I never put constraints on him, (told him off ha ha ) but if he wasn't the way he was, he wouldn't have been him....

Thank you Sandra, you are quite right. Sometimes women can’t manage financially because they have no money and don’t want to lose their home. It’s a big thing starting again in old age. I think therapy is a good thing, even though I am 77, better than losing your relationship. I always think if you have loved somebody in the beginning, you can love them again.

I just saw this- was in you boat, Miss Sandra, and I made the same decisions as you. After 44 years of marriage, I’m grateful.

Thank you for sharing. Who has never wondered if they should stay or go? Your reasoning was beautifully expressed. We all face hard decisions and please know that your frank honesty is a true gift.❤

How wonderful you are to be so vulnerable and open with your life. You very possibly may have helped and given a new life to someone who needed to hear this at this time. This is an important topic!! Thank you !!

What a beautiful story and you told it so well. About the separation, the therapy and getting back together again. It sounds like you really tried hard and didn’t give up. My husband died young at 62, ten years ago. I am now 65 and went to Ireland to start a new relationship. It was fantastic and then it wasn’t. I had to come back with my tail between my legs to Vermont. So this was very helpful in terms of going forward. I’m still trying to get over a state of shock. Your videos are very encouraging

Your openess and courage is rare Sandra. You're a beautiful example. The world that we live in can make it so hard for us to share in an open and honest wayy without being judged and leaving us feeling scared. It's really admrable when I see anyone stepping out with their experience in an open way as a tool for educating and sharing information that we can all learn from. Each one of us on planet Earth is battling some form of challenge and it can be so isolating when we can't feel comfortable to speak or ask for the help we need. It's sometimes the line between healing and suffering. Thank you for being so authentic and open.

I love your hair and outfit💫

My husband and I were married almost 22 years. It started out so amazing. Unfortunately he had anger issues and through the years it became worse. I was married before for 22 years and got divorced which always played very heavy on my heart so I felt very strongly about staying and working things out. We were in the process of selling our business and I hoped that once that was accomplished we could rebuild our marriage/life. Unfortunately my husband committed suicide and that part of my life came to a brutal end. I’m so glad you and Arthur were able to fall back in love. What a gift from God. Such a blessing. Thank you for sharing your story.

Always relevant and transparent, Sandra; I so admire you and your classy & nonjudgmental approach to a serious topic. After 28 years of marriage (plus 2-1/2 yrs of dating) I filed for divorce for the 3rd and final time. We had grown so far apart… I entered counseling during separation, divorce, and for a few years after… I was filled with anger & anxiety, past baggage and it all boiled over. I think we’ve been divorced 14 or 15 years now. We’ve become best friends (it helps that we live in different states!)😂 Anyway, life moves forward and people CAN change if they choose to. Thank you for today’s conversation.❤🙏🏻

Thank you again. 39th wedding anniversary coming up. We say a lot when say I do. Take the bitter with the sweet. The counseling paid off. And prayer always works.

Thank you so much for sharing this Sandra!

Thank you so much for this very candid video Sandra! I am sure I speak for so many of us that find incredible value in your candor and deep insight. This is an important topic that is generally not discussed. I have been married to my second husband (who is wonderful) for 25 years now, but the road was extremely rocky many times. Like you, I am very glad that we worked through those times, as I feel I have been living in heaven for the past seven years or so. But like you, I came to that fork in the road (several times) and I am very glad I was willing to be honest with myself, and make decisions based on what I thought was right for me - not based on anything or anyone else’s opinion. It is a comfort to me to know I am not unique in this, even though it is rarely discussed. 🤗

My boyfriend and I broke up after ten years and we both got back together a year and a half later. This may sound crazy to some but I think we both learned and grew changed for ourselves! The changing for ourselves is what brought us back together and I can honestly say I think we are healthier and happier together than before!

I'm so glad it's Tuesday, Sandra. Thank you for adding your balanced wisdom to my day and the day of many others, as shown by the comments. Your last 8 years with Arthur was a gift to each of you and to those us you touch.

Hi Sandra Very important topic. Many people suffer from trauma from an early age and unaware. Dr Gabor Mate speaks about early trauma even when a woman is still pregnant . Trauma can be passed from mother to child and stays until adulthood shows up as anger addiction and so forth if not addressed. Personally I have had to let several people go including my husband because I could not help him and it was a matter of safety for myself and my son . It’s such a deeply personal journey . I remain happily single and have worked through my ptsd .❤️ Have an absolutely blessed day

Thank you for this Sandra ❤ my husband and I go through very similar struggles and it’s so difficult sometimes. But even after the worst arguments and not speaking we miss each other. Marriage is so hard. I appreciate you!