I try to fill the emptiness in my heart every day by daydreaming about fictitious scenarios with unavailable people and characters. I struggle with loneliness but have severe anxiety around others and even leaving my house is terrifying. This limerence fantasy is the only place I feel I have control and letting go is so painful, but necessary to move forward.

I did not know about the concept of limerence until I discovered your channel. I experienced a lot of dysfunction/trauma in my chaotic childhood. I am 52 years old and have experienced this (limerence) my entire life. I have never had a real romantic partnership - just obsessing over men I cannot have. Thanks so much for your work and your channel. Being in ACA, therapy, and watching videos such as yours has been truly helpful to me.

“We suffer more from imagination than reality”- Seneca… Limerance in a nutshell

Having survived limerence with a person who was single when I met him and then he got married during a visit to his country, and come through to the other side, I want to encourage everyone watching this video to believe that you can recover from your infatuation/obsession. And life is truly very beautiful on the other side. The initial pain can be excruciating and it can be hard to even imagine life without that person, but it's SO worth it to get your life back. You can do it.

Thank you for putting Limerence in the spot light! This is huge in the twin flame world, and although there can be a spiritual connection... thinking of someone 24/7 isn't a divine gift. It's an internal problem.

Ugh, I'm still haunted by a girl I dated for six weeks 20 years ago. Thinking about how different my life would have been if I had handled it better.

Sometimes, I wonder if anyone on this planet is not broken from their childhood...

Why you don't have millions of subs is beyond me my fairy Godmother. I've listened to many a podcaster... but you are the one that I keep coming back to. Your calm and straight to the point demeanor are so humbling. Thank you for everything you do for us folk in healing. You truly are an angel xxo

I wish one phrase and concept would disappear from our culture-- this nonsense about "we are meant to be". You are only meant to be with someone who has made a commitment to you, and that you are committed to. Anything else is just magical thinking, living in a fantasy. No horoscope signs, no "meet cute" encounters where you are quickly swept off your feet. I lived too much of my life deluded by these nonsensical notions. How I wish I could have cut it out decades later than I did. When I found my partner, there were no fireworks-- just the realization that after all the wrong turns I made, here was a person I could get along with, who wanted me in their life. There was very little drama about it. Instead, calmness and sanity. What a frigging relief.

Mulholland Drive is a fantastic film about limerence, I highly recommend it to anyone struggling with this addiction.

When you have grown up from a disfuncual family you do find some men boring but actually those ones are better partners , you find them boring because they are not taking you on the roller coaster ride of your childhood.

It's tragic when someone says maybe we'll get together in the future if it's fate. It's very self-serving for the person saying it.

Appropriate and available people are hard to find. Sadly, I settled on life's consolation prize. I have nothing but regret.

I'm so tired and exhausted fighting this. My limerance is paired with disassociation. "Fairytale land" when I'm stressed and anxious.

I was in therapy for 2 years, and never knew about limerence until I found your channel. Thank you for changing my life with your knowledge. I'm slowly breaking my 13-year cycle of limerence.

It's hell and I'm going through it right now , God have mercy on my soul , and every soul experiencing this ...

It’s relieving and also scary to see other people struggle with this too

OMG what a HUGE and impactful statement that I never even considered. 29 minutes in you see “I don’t see anything safe about being alone the rest of your life.” The sense of safety is so important for those of us with CPTSD. But we also tend to isolate. This concept that sharing life with someone is a mental game changer. Im all about shifting beliefs and this is a good way to see something from a new place.

How have I never heard of this concept before? I work in mental health! I've been in therapy all my life! This is why I can't have relationships! THANK YOU! ♥️♥️♥️♥️

Limerence is my only chance to have some meaning in life. Literally no people have ever been romantically interested in me. I need to experience love to survive somehow. So I won't even try to "cure" myself of limerence. It's impossible for me to love someone and be loved because no one loves me. Limerence is all I have left. And I'd rather have that because I feel very empty when I don't love.

I've had so many struggles with Limerence I've given up on love and am just working on myself...

After a 4 year long romanticized relationship in my head with this guy I’m finally coming to reality. It suddenly hit me that the relationship was mostly all made up in my head. It hurts and I’m not sure how or if I will ever be able to completely let go of this person but I’m working on it.

Limerence comes from not loving yourself and using other people to fill that void.it never works for very long and u still feel just as empty as before.love yourself fully first and everything else falls into place.

I was thinking about this topic and your video dropped. The Universe is kind. Now I understand why my love life has always been a hot mess.CPTSD is something else, I tell you.

I'd be hugely interested in a vid on avoidance too.. Im nearing 50 and have never had a relationship longterm. I'm not overly bothered about it, enjoy being in my own company and could very happily live without ever having a relationship. But just like most people, the physical element is something I wouldn't mind having in my life.. And it is probably a nice thing to share time, good and bad, with someone you care about and who cares about you back.. Again though, I'm painfully aware being in a couple doesn't guarantee any of those things 😁.. I grew up with a very negative view on relationships, I think I decided VERY early on that would be much better off on my own. I still think that may be the case. But an opinion would be great. Thanks for ur vids Anna, always interesting and straight up..

I wonder if this is what happens in thoses dating romance scams where ppl send life savings to a foreigner.

Hi Anna, I just came over here to say that I’m finally starting the Dysregulation boot camp 🎉🎉🎉🎉 And to say God bless you!!! Thank you so much for the work you do. I can’t fully put it into words honestly. I look forward to speaking with you on a call one day. I’m also starting Pete Walker’s book. It’s intense, but already very helpful. So grateful for you in my life. Xoxoxo Krisma

"Actual relationships" are triggering, yes, that's why I seek unavailable people, I know this will never work, so in some weird way it's "better", except it's not...

I also want to get out of this loneliness 😔

I wish there were more videos on non romantic limerance. All my situations were friends that seemed to trigger father/big brother hunger.

Wow. 10:50 the way you just said that is so real. You're so right. Wow. I did not feel real at all

I'm currently breaking this cycle, and I feel so lost in life. I feel like a shell of a person without the ability to disassociate or indulge in limerance. I am so stunted in life and in my personal growth. Time is passing me by. I've been relying heavily on my over eating habits to deal with avoiding limerance. Obviously when you are stressed or lonely you want to feel loved or atleast imagine someone loving you.

Since I discovered I struggle with limerence, I watch your videos everyday to learn about it and heal. It's very helpful, thank you for your help 😊

Your videos are the only thing that is helping me

The things we do for love. So embarrassing! I look back on my entire life with shame

35:00 Powerful. I will do it. My apology is to stay away from him. But I just wanna say my case is slightly different, because I don't wish to extinguish the friendship. I will be open if he wants to talk, because if I just doorslamed him, then that would make me emotionally available, and that's not fair for him (because it's me who started the pursuing). However, I am done with breadcrumbs and mixed signals. I made my line now. Relationship requires effort from both sides.

Thank you once again. I lived a life similar to the person who went to Africa. Different, but I unconsciously chose Mom every time. Thinking this time I'd get reciprocal love. Nope. I took 13+ years off after my last heartbreak. I've grown a lot in the quiet time. But your advice and free step process are amazing. I have only just begun. I really understand now why we take at least a year to really know a person. When studying for my degree in counseling I understood as a student not a CPTSD person. Funny: I've recently joined a reputable dating site. I have yet to meet one person who thinks taking a year to get to know each other is a good idea... But that is their problem/ choice bit mine. Mine is trusting the boundary I set. Thank you so much for these letters!!

Your right can’t help them mentally that’s why we have people like you

The first time I've found a video on this. With my history of bpd and cptsd this happens frequently to me... Thank you for helping me understand what's going on

Wow! I didn't know I've always loved to have male friends bc od my relationship with my mom as a child. She grew up almost as an abandoned child in a very disfunctional family. She was very young as she became a mom and she could not provide us with affection.... i hope she gets healing. But somehow it also damaged my image of women, and after many bad experiences with female friends I decided I just want men around me. It has never been a problem for any of us. Bur it is nice to know there is sonething I should work on: getting female friends. Especially now, since I've been isolated for at least 8 years. Thank you, Anne.

Thanks so much for replays & compilation replays. So helpful, especially for people who are new to this amazing channel♥️

Your videos are incredibly helpful. I am also a believer in using psychedelics intentionally in a therapeutic way. It can go directly to the addiction, obsession, rumination, etc., and “clear” these blockages.

I promise to watch all the commercials at the end did not skip through them

Yeah! I'm friends with people who really care about who I am in real-time, and I always get bored when I tell stories about my fantasy man. They are just not interested! I think because they feel that I'm wasting my time and potential for virtually nothing if they indulge me. It helps me a lot! I become more real and more present.

Sounds a lot like what I've been through...I am glad I now recognize it and can tell myself to stop if that makes sense.

Such an eye opener for me and I see the signs in my own life. Going to soak all of this in and mat ask follow up questions. I'm in awe.

I know three comments. But this one really hits home. Since I was starving for this info for decades it's like a feast in the desert. Your description of how to date is my new boundaries list. Your description of writing down what we want in a healthy relationship partner is a huge puzzle piece I "felt" was missing but didn't Know was missing. Also I would be a good Dad to my younger dating self. Thanks. Again... There's No R u s h...

Huh. I guess the worst is having anxiously effed up something that actually happened. The mind wanders with real data of memories

This is really good information, truth and tough love. I'm glad you give concrete direction too. I know Alanon, counseling and finding the strength I needed in a 12 steps group led me to facing reality as it is. Love in real life takes work and investment. But the dividends of truly showing up and being Vulnerable far out way any internal fantasy I create. We can carry ourselves into and safely out of real relationship.

I'm in love with a fictional character, but right now I'm okay with that. I know he's not real, but having a real romance right now isn't possible. So I'm content with fantasies about him. I am not sure if I ever want to date again, tbh.

around 1:00:00 despite 12 step program for codependents she fell for a con-artist in Africa that was really into young girls even teenagers.

There are so many people who seem to have limerence because of bad and toxic people. I fell for one once but then never again, they sicken me now. Now I fall for men who are the opposite. If you feel limerent for a terrible person, it is clearer that it is not about love but what about men who seem like genuinely good people? Who have good qualities and who do also actions that prove that they have these qualities. That is the reason why I still can't define if I feel only limerence or other things like admiration or a deeper infatuation or even some form of love or something like that because there are good men I wish the best for, even if they are not in my life at all.

Anna will always help me.❤

I have limerance for my ex therapist. I still love her so very much. Not sure if this is really limerance or transference or both but man it really sucks!

I posted this in a response, but I’ll repeat here: I needed to hear this. The worst part for me is my LO flirts with me. I developed feelings for him when I thought he might be available and was turning them off when I found out he wasn’t. But just when I thought our chemistry was all in my head, now he likes to squeeze my arm and run his finger down my back and he just got remarried. It’s made turning those feelings off so hard, because he’s giving me the attention I crave from him. I know I’ll get over it, but it’s really hurting me and I seem to not be able to tell him to stop. He’s also someone I can’t avoid., it’s brutal. 😢

I've always went for EUM and I know now it's down to my up bringing, and losing my parents at 18 years old.

boring doesn’t sound so bad to me.

Calm simple had crazy all my life exausted from all

It's difficult to deal with when you have to work with the person too😟

16:18, yup

Great video,

I think a part of what's happening is that as women, we are mortified by sexual rejection. Especially if we are fit, healthy, fertile young women with a reasonable level of physical attractiveness. Men are biologically wired to want to reproduce with as many women as possible. Quantity is generally more sought after than quality in their experience. Generally speaking, women are supposed to be choosy whereas men are lucky to have the attention of even one woman. And so rejection from a man, especially when you are young, is so so painful beyond words. He's basically saying you're not good enough to bear his children. And men aren't supposed to be picky about that sort of thing from an evolutionary standpoint. If you're an attractive young woman reading this, you shouldn't be asking what is wrong with *him* so much as what is wrong with *you*. Your desirability is not the issue. It's who you choose to desire that matters, and you should only desire high quality men. When I was 21 I thought I had fallen in love with someone ten years older than me. A broke musician with no talent and a terrible personality. Meanwhile I didn't feel any attraction to a handsome, brilliant young man in medical school who wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. Obviously I had a lot of trauma and emotional baggage to work through, but I was incapable of seeing it at the time. Now in my late 30s, I realize my life is completely ruined. But I don't think there's anything I could have done about it when I was young because trauma is trauma and it can take many decades to "recover" to any meaningful degree. If you currently feel an obsessive attraction to a particular man, you need to step back and impartially evaluate his quality in comparison to the men who are actually interested in you. Chances are, you're currently getting attention from men who have better qualities than this one particular man who rejects you. Why are you chasing a guy who is less desirable than your other options? What is it exactly that emotionally compels you to pursue this type of person? It's a question I'm still asking myself and will probably be working through for the rest of my life.

I just want loving caring company, I’m like a dog, I’ll I’ve you forever if you love me 😊

Can i have limerince on a platonic basis? We are friends I (male) ande she... but when she wants no contact or distance I go in full obsession mode. When we are having normal contact, text and in real life appointments I dont go in crazy obsess but the moment she holds me back or wants distance I go littarly crazy.. im acting like a little Child whos mamma left him behind... its awfull is it an attachment thing from childhood? Also fear of abondoment comes up... I want to hold someone close but the only thing that this obsession causses is distance? Should I break full contact? Im going now in NC. Because if i text anymore i will ruin the relationship for sure. TBH i think some distance is good for me but to break this relationship for good terrefies me as well. Maybe someone has some info.. and sorry for my english its not my first language. Kind regards from a male 35 from europe..

Hello! I just wanted to know how and if I can get access to the website. Unfortunately, it says it's not available in my country...Is there a way to work around that? 'Cause I'm very interested in your material,guides, all of it. Could really use some help or an answer... Thank you in advance! Best wishes and many thanks for this channel! Really helpful. A goldmine actually!

Elizabeth sounds like you're a fucking catch babe. You heal yourself and you make a life that makes you happy :) I'm working on similar things too

Limerence was so bad that I had a gf that i was pretending was the other person in my head

mine all over again, lol. always mine. i'm in all.

1:06:00 If it's meant to be we will come together later ....

I wonder why you always say if a man is interested he will let you know, he will ask you out - shy men exist. I'm not a man but I never had the courage to tell anyone I was interested. I'm sure men like that must also exist. Later you even say that no matter man or a woman. But I am the proof that some people will never tell their love interest about their feelings. I'm too shy and I always expect rejection because they don't seem interested in me. No one seems interested in me.

Yeah nobody

Does my dead fiance count as limerance? It's been 21 years since he suddenly passed. I've moved on married, divorced. It's just easier to dream about what life would have been with my fiancé. Been single, not dating for 12 years. I'm comfortable.

Limerence sucks!!

Why did I do this

I had emotional story of my father and led my life till now but I cut all men out at my age theirs slim pickings so I’ll never meet lol 😊

Yeah i've been limerant. Haha

I've heard this one before... Why does it say 9hrs ago? Is this another one of those supercut recycles folks are doing a lot these days?

❤❤❤❤❤

💖💖

Is this a reply? I'm sure I've heard this before...

Why the repost? I've seen this already

🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

Looking for a familiar face in a crowd.... so yeah we broke up and just couldn't get back together again. Now and then I think of her, and.....naw, I don't think so Does that count?

Why are you being so harsh and rude to elizabeth? I even sense a bit of sacasm.. hmm...

My past destroyed me that’s why I can’t date just can’t I’m very hard on myself 68 just can’t I always picked men like me felt comfortable but in the end when it doesn’t work at all just doesn’t I have a million different experiences and a million mistakes but when it comes to men I only learn a little I know I pick men like me num but I know in the end it doesn’t work today not num but A is my fantasy man every four years or twenty years running out of years lol don’t like mushy men don’t like cold men don’t like highly intelligent because I only went to the 8 th grade catholic school so I know intellectual people won’t want me I’m not on their level today my boundaries are so tight I can’t stand it all started from 17 years old till now I’m safe I’m alone safe ❤@lorraineamicothemakeupartist

I live in a fantasy love with a guy in and out of all my men and two twenty year husbands for all my life with this one person but his family doesn’t want him with me really now he’s 61 and I’m 68 been alone for twenty three years but went to his house last January spoke with him a year before for a whole year on and off for year till we got together oh well another one bites the dust ❤ true I get obsess only about him my whole life and had twenty year husbands to and one year in a half I rather stay alone I know it can’t ever be he’s still a little boy and I’m kinda grown up lol @lorraineamicothemakeupartist

I’ve always helped my two husbands with the daughter of the second husband put her through one in a half years of catholic school but he gave it back to me down the road it was four hundred a month for a year in a half I’ve been through a million in a half of my money now I live tightly shame on me bought my love and still didn’t work I was never selfish with my money now I am older and sickly oh well another lesson learned my mom took all my money when I worked at 15 years old as a sales girl after awhile I wanted to buy clothes told her can’t give you money I need to look great for work so I stopped giving money then at 18 I get thrown out into the streets so from that point on always gave money that was my life so I wouldn’t be abandoned like my mom did to me shame on me I am beat down to the ground literally 😢@lorraineamicothemakeupartist

A use to call me everyday for hours to talk once a week we wouldmeetfor five years I was with a husband of twenty years he is a very bad man extremely he was my first husband craziness my first husband was extremely bad use to play poker every night never coming home so A fit in nicely he was 19 I was in my early twenty’s much more to my life a normal man couldn’t ever be with me could never so I stayed with people like me but wasted my all youth waste now Im sickly now I’ll never meet 😢@lorraineamicothemakeupartist