Broken! Why B Simone Is Having Breaking Down & Struggling To Date Dismissive Avoidant Perspective

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Broken! Why B Simone Is Having Breaking Down & Struggling To Date Dismissive Avoidant Perspective

Рет қаралды 46,480

Күн бұрын

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Пікірлер: 248

@puddincup9879 Ай бұрын

She wants to be seen. She is lost, but wants a husband to validate her. She has access to money and other resources and is still miserable because the problem is within.

@eboneegrover7453 Ай бұрын

YEP

@caroladams8237 Ай бұрын

the self-reliance and hyper-independence were coping mechanisms/skills to survive maternal abandonment

@K_Allday Ай бұрын

Yep. Mine is paternal.

@user-th5rs4zv4c Ай бұрын

Excuses!

@suziesmith9076 Ай бұрын

It’s nearly always paternal because of the lack of the masculine role we end up embodying it

@mwright0428 Ай бұрын

🎯🎯🎯🎯

@carrington2949 Ай бұрын

Her father left her though, so it’s paternal. That is usually the case.

@EasyBreezie Ай бұрын

Let’s just thank B for being vulnerable enough to allow us into her heart and evaluate and learn from her. Her issue is 80% of women’s issue in America!

@IWrite2Heal 11 күн бұрын

@@EasyBreezie Not even just women. People in general. And I think she’s really courageous for doing this. It’s alot to be faced with who you are let alone share it with the world. I’m deeply proud of her and anyone who is intentionally making the choice to heal.

@consciousanfesiashapsnikof8688 Ай бұрын

Paul wrote a letter to encourage Timothy that he needed to stay strong. He said, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind” When a person seeks a closer walk with God, read the Book of Job before-hand for preparation for the darts that the devil will be throwing. Walking with God isn't always easy. The trials and tribulations prepare us for the next chapters in life. Sometimes we have to decrease to increase. Oftentimes, I know that I am still standing and blessed to be standing with God because He is my strength.

@justbeingveetv3423 Ай бұрын

Out of all of my years on KZfaq, THIS comment is the Greatest Ive seen. Thank you for posting this❤

@urmomsdesigner1651 28 күн бұрын

This is so true, he sheds things that we thought we needed

@ZenitsusFurry 25 күн бұрын

Woo! Decrease to increase! 🔥🔥🔥

@hao9508 13 күн бұрын

Amen

@TM-nb9zf Ай бұрын

She consistently says she is "looking for a husband" ....totally tunnel vision. And not thinking about the journey of dating, bonding, and learning herself and someone else. And thats just 1 of her issues. She seems like she needs a long break. A super long 1

@0331tate Ай бұрын

Yeah dismissive avoidant’s are always focused on the mission & not the journey, same thing she did w her bff. Or even chasing DaBaby, she had a mission to get his validation that she was enough instead of realizing too much of her life journey was being spent on someone who didn’t want her bcus she felt her alignment w him was good for business/ her brand, to the point of even taking on the identity of Danileigh …my God 😩

@kwamepipimofficial Ай бұрын

@@0331tate I can testify to this my ex did the same thing to me, they are so focused on the destination they dont think that its the actions u do know that makes u get to the destination, DA's will end a relationship caused they are so focused on the destination, and think the destination should be now, not knowing is the journey and the steps u take now that will lead u there. My ex ended our relationship cause to them they dont think am their soulmate, at the moment I was so hurt by it but with time and therapy I realised how messed up the whole situation was, they never communicated their needs and wants or things they thought were lacking in the relationship to me, I was in total darkness, the day they communicated their needs and wants and stuff to me, that same instant am getting dumped and being told I am not the ONE. the day they communicating their needs and wants to me, am already being dismissed and getting broken up with cause we lack those stuff, things I wasnt even aware of. how do u expect someone to be the ONE ( destination) when u not willing to do the work ( journey ) to get to that destination.

@TM-nb9zf Ай бұрын

@0331tate that was such an embarrassing time for her. I felt bad for her. She is actually lucky we are in a time when men don't propose much. Because if this was the 70s or 80s she would have already been in a few miserable marriage and divorces.

@meganrenee5581 Ай бұрын

Exactly. She skipped all the steps in between (dating etc.). A husband isn't the end all be all smh

@zee-zm1io Ай бұрын

Wooo this is good analysis. Everyday I always wake up and think, what’s my next small goal. I’d like a great relationship, but am I vulnerable, am I open, have I changed my attitude to sharing. Amen to this revelation

@Chocolatehb07 Ай бұрын

When you keep on searching, the more it runs from you ! You will most likely not get things in the moment you want to but in the moment you’re ready for it. The more she desperately wants it, the longer it’s gonna take for her to have it.

@CouplesDevelopment Ай бұрын

Excellent analysis. Social media has a habit of making men avoidant and women anxious. Social media also has a habit of making anxious attachers "the good ones," and avoidants "the bad ones." We must always remember that we all have our own pain. Throughout our lives we consciously and unconsciously do things to move toward pleasure and away from pain. Excellent video.

@crystal.diorrr Ай бұрын

The fact I’m crying watching this , because I suffered with all of this. The lack of support form family , being told such negativity growing up has put a knife in the dating world for me.

@ms.jackson2499 Ай бұрын

You got this! You can help the generations with your insight!

@LittleBlackBook91 Ай бұрын

Thank u so much

@_danyelb Ай бұрын

Let’s talk about how I wasn’t expecting to feel like this video was going to be about me. Like 1000%, even down to the friendship stuff. Smh I think that’s a sign 😫

@K_Allday Ай бұрын

You and I both. I thought my partner was the dismissive avoidant...

@_danyelb Ай бұрын

@@K_Allday crazy part is the very next video I watched from another KZfaqr I like ( Armon). He was premiering a video in relation to the same thing. I’m like 🤯 this message is for me 🤣

@K_Allday Ай бұрын

@@_danyelbI'm just waiting for my next message... lol, but seriously introspect is everything in life's circle.

@SuperKsilver Ай бұрын

I was not expecting to be impacted at all

@saffronn8053 Ай бұрын

Literally! I was very confident I was anxious avoidant but now hearing this broken down like this… wow this me to a T, this was actually such a good explanation

@nattyp6 Ай бұрын

Very well broken down! B Simone is me... Lack of boundaries and then blowing up down the line. Walking away before being left. Lack of protection as a child. Being consumed with work. Feel so much but afraid to show it! Choosing the wrong guys. Jheeze!

@topseekrit Ай бұрын

I’m only 18 minutes in and the way I’m having so many hallelujah moments especially with the difference between co-regulation of emotions and codependency, whew!

@autumnsspiritvibeout360 Ай бұрын

Bro dating is not everything in life. The more you obsess over something, the more you push that something away. Apparently you’re not ready for one or you’d have one. Take time and focus on growth and love will find you.

@ŘůņǍŵæ 4 күн бұрын

While that is true, you must also look at things from a biological point of view, whereas women have a biological clock which determines the window of which we can reproduce. She hasn’t even found a husband yet and her time is running out.

@kiriathrivera7092 Ай бұрын

This has to be the most accurate thing I’ve ever heard about myself, and it really helps me to understand why I move the way I move. Wow wow wow

@kentybeauty 19 күн бұрын

Same

@fundssum331 Ай бұрын

Not Kojo reading me for filth …to the teee ….its a bit scary 😅🤣

@LittleBlackBook91 Ай бұрын

babay im reading myself alongside yall

@alexandraayirebi-acquah9571 Ай бұрын

She's a woman now and even though she has a childhood experience that makes all this hard , she needs to let that go and focus on healing and moving forward

@Trulybtful31 25 күн бұрын

Easier said than done when it's embedded into your subconscious. What you just did was no different than telling a rape victim to get over something when the pain show up differently for others . Rule of thumb never tell someone they should get over something when they are working through their trauma . She obviously is working through her trauma ... she is talking about it that's a start!!! She needs time give her grace. Being grown doesn't mean you have it together in all areas in your life

@MartishaSooDivine333 24 күн бұрын

Which is what she’s trying to do!!😳damn acknowledging is the first step and being accountable..who’s to say she’s not working on that..just saying this goes without saying..Many times to get to this point she’s at it’s because you are willing to be active and INTENTIONAL in your growth and transformation..

@darray. 20 күн бұрын

@@MartishaSooDivine333agreed. And the fact she’s showing some self awareness - to me shows she’s been exploring her emotions

@Lolalove22 Ай бұрын

I resonate with B. Simone so much. You broke this down so well Kojo.

@___leyla Ай бұрын

I loved what you had to say on the spiritual aspect of accepting that what you’ve been doing to get to a certain point may not fuel you to get to the next point on your journey. All you can do from there is ask for guidance 🙏🏾 Keep it up, Kojo 🤍

@LittleBlackBook91 Ай бұрын

@@___leyla my queen thank you been too long

@___leyla Ай бұрын

@@LittleBlackBook91 Way too long 🤍

@_Tyana__ Ай бұрын

I realize after a recent breakup I'm fearful-avoidant, but showed more anxious in that relationship. The break has me turning more towards the advoidant side of my unhealthy attachment. This video resonates with me because I'm noticing I'm not intuned with my emotions like I used. I repress my emotions almost subconsciously now if makes me uncomfortable or too big for me to handle. I'm distant to avoid being rejected and have become a workaholic. In therapy twice a week and building my relationship with the Lord so I can fix this and have a healthy attachment style. 😅

@marykimani1590 Ай бұрын

Wooow! This is so profound. This was me, since i was a child. My mom was so strict and emotionally dismissive, it didn't come from a bad place though and I didn't know where my emotionally avoidant personality came from until I've listened to this. I've made a lot of positive progress, self healing really, despite the fact that I didn't fully understand what made me the way i was

@mercedezeileen3630 Ай бұрын

A video on anxious attachment next pls🙏🏾. Sooo over my attachment style rn lol

@LittleBlackBook91 Ай бұрын

@@mercedezeileen3630 I got u

@K_Allday Ай бұрын

I think I'm in a relationship with someone who may have this personality trait... and I'm emotionally and mentally drained. Jaded. I feel bad about it.

@LittleBlackBook91 Ай бұрын

Which part is draining let me know and then I can do a video on it

@K_Allday Ай бұрын

@litttleblackbook91 The draining part is feeling like I constantly have to validate my feelings towards them. I feel that I do just that but it's never enough. I also feel controlled buy them often and have voiced that but it falls on deaf ears. An example is them wanting me to go to a social platform and write a birthday message about why I love and appreciate them. I just couldn't and didn't want to and they know that I am introverted. We had a huge argument over this, mainly because I asked why they cared about what others thought and they couldn't tell me why, even tried to gaslight me.

@LittleBlackBook91 Ай бұрын

Sounds like the validation he wants is you showing that you appreciate and care about him. The world knowing shows him that ur proud of him being ur man and that your proud of loving him. Which makes him feel secure. He probably doesn't believe that u ain't put that post because u introverted. Cause why u on there if u introverted. It won't add up

@praise3700 Ай бұрын

KOJO!!!!!! God has blessed you and you know your stuff!!!! The way she validated everything you said at the 30 min mark was just wholesome.

@SurvivorsCoffee 27 күн бұрын

I also think she may not want to admit she’s upset that Megan has moved on and has another best friend. She has to publicly show she’s not thinking about her because she may have been the problem in the friendship

@K_Allday Ай бұрын

Kojo you nailed it!!

@LittleBlackBook91 Ай бұрын

By his grace

@avikillozmusic 22 күн бұрын

Thank u I have a problem expressing my wants n needs…it’s like a hand around my mouth😅😅😅..thank u for this vid, I love learning more about myself 🎉👏🏾👏🏾🏆🥂more work to do💪🏾💪🏾

@meghanbetter4713 Ай бұрын

23:56 not me clutching my pearls at this call out 😩 The msg I didn’t know I was getting or needed

@chikFromMTL Ай бұрын

Kodjo, thank you for explaining this so clearly 🙌🏾 That is heavy but there is hope,... much love to you and people on their healing journey, we can do this 💛

@thewholeyou 10 күн бұрын

I love when you do these breakdowns on avoidant attachment styles and then second when u do anxious bc u always pull out gems 💎 that I didn't see. And maybe u are so spot of with avoidant behavior bc I wanna say I heard u mentioned you are as well. But I thx u for the knowledge

@elody30 Ай бұрын

B will fully flourish when she will decide to be a real authentic person. You see so much un-realness through her eyes and her voice. That is why the relationship with Ashley had to end

@user-he4lj5wl7w Ай бұрын

🎯🎯🎯

@OurFatherWhoArtInHeavenin 25 күн бұрын

Bingo!!!!

@OurFatherWhoArtInHeavenin 25 күн бұрын

@@user-he4lj5wl7wand she projected that onto Ashley when in fact she has been the problem the entire time

@SuperKsilver Ай бұрын

SIR!!!! This was GOOD To me!!!! This was a blessing ❤️ Both videos! Whew!

@nijettafranklin3388 Ай бұрын

Wow this is me! 😢 I need to get back into therapy…thanks for explaining and breaking it down to me. Now I can put words to it

@LittleBlackBook91 Ай бұрын

You got this! we appreciate that u learning love this

@nijettafranklin3388 23 күн бұрын

@@LittleBlackBook91 what services do you offer?

@IWrite2Heal 11 күн бұрын

I just discovered my attachment style is Disorganized Attachment or rather Fearful Avoidant. I can relate to some of what she struggles with. I’m unpacking it now. And it’s so challenging 😥 but when you said something about desiring a closer relationship with God, and God showing you parts of yourself that you wouldn’t have been able to see, I’m going thru that now and it’s one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. I just wanna get to the other side already but I also know it doesn’t work that way 😮‍💨😭

@ivana5618 13 күн бұрын

I havent seen someone with such a deep and accurate understanding of attachment styles in so long. Great video!

@meekyw.4010 Ай бұрын

Damn, the first 15 minutes was a lot🤔 And, then the lower third was like damn!

@IAMJLDOMOND Ай бұрын

Wow wow wow, you broke that down like *chef's kiss*

@erikaarnold4780 Ай бұрын

You have been speaking sense for years! I am finally going back to therapy, and I can’t wait. I had never considered a life coach before….now….you are definitely on my radar! You are doing the Lord’s work, Brother. We’ll chat soon, I hope. ❤️✊🏾

@LittleBlackBook91 Ай бұрын

Wow thank you

@danijackson1107 Ай бұрын

I’m excited to learn thanks for this and attachment styles ain’t no joke !!b I thought I was avoidant but realized I was disorganized/fearful so I have both ends of the spectrum.

@mimiscloset7075 23 күн бұрын

Self love first! Once you exude that you truly get an amazing partner who sees that and just wants to uplift it!!

@PrincessZ783 Ай бұрын

Haven’t seen your videos pop up in months, if not a year. Happy to see this vid

@uofmicha Ай бұрын

Its cool that people understand their attachment styles, but people sonetimes are attracted to the "wrong" personality or another attachment style that may not be conducive to either emotional needs.

@vmodez Ай бұрын

Love this content, I needed this!

@4LuvThySelf Ай бұрын

Wow. I can relate to this 100%. I enjoy my work and I enjoy it never been scared to be alone. This perspective is interest. ❤❤❤

@marciawright8002 Ай бұрын

I needed to hear this. Thank you.

@crystal.diorrr Ай бұрын

I learned about this in school , I feel I had this type of style

@etherealoraclellc6655 24 күн бұрын

it is interesting so many people analyzing her but it is clear she is fully aware of her self work and she is doin the work so she definatli deserves her flowers cux its not easy goin/walkn with god especially when u have such a huge platform and so many temptations

@deionblalock8513 22 күн бұрын

This is why I smoke such a complicated world dreams seem impossible

@chakralove4300 25 күн бұрын

I’m so proud of you!! This is great work. I love it !!

@shebbysavvas4040 24 күн бұрын

This is my style. I want to be secure and I'm reparenting myself. But mine is more on the negative, I don't expect people to like me and it seems they do and I don't believe it then I try so hard to ruin it because I always believe that they are pretending. I hate being validated. I'm the rejecter and I hate emotions, I work so hard and find it hard to receive gifts but I do give. The only validation I need is from myself yet I have this deep seated resentment towards myself and I do sympathize with myself these days.

@reneecherrie Ай бұрын

Wisdom 🙏🏿 I pray for your continued transformation and comfort through it❤

@Wynterborn Ай бұрын

This is interesting how men want to sit around discussing women. There are plenty of “broken” men who don’t have wives and are also having a hard time dating. Sit and discus your bros and there dating troubles. It’s weird that yall sit and take apart women. Contrary to popular media belief, these men are old and struggling

@kupewataaka6917 17 күн бұрын

“Discuss your bros” Amen.

@ArielUpshaw Ай бұрын

What you said about life tremor and breaking down... listen. You said a WORD.

@JenSumma 23 күн бұрын

I don't know B Simone but I met her in 2018 and she seemed genuinely nice. She didn't seem dismissive with her friends and seemed attentive. Maybe she can be a fearful avoidant instead??

@FeliciaStands Ай бұрын

Your break down is wonderful I struggle with rejection from childhood traumas from my mother

@LavendarRoseMint Ай бұрын

Yes me too. I needed this !

@ayt7113 Ай бұрын

Amen Kojo. God does work on our hearts first

@UnlockedJoy88 Ай бұрын

This is a great video as it explained tons and I'm more informed so thank you. Bless!

@asiablue195 Ай бұрын

I could relate to every single thing you said. I’m happy I found your video. I feel seen 😆.

@etherealoraclellc6655 24 күн бұрын

i would also like to add that most people are harboring emotions because of the society we live in it does not give enough support to those experiencing emotional and spiritual awakening to where you may feel u have to hold it in because people may react as if u have some sort of contagious disease. a lot of genuine souls have been tortured because of the environment tht stifles their self expression. being highly sensitive though a gift, can also be a burden in this realm

@joyceg7859 Ай бұрын

When I or my kids need something from my partner and I tell him that …. He just stands there for like ….. moments ( acting like he not going to do it ) …. And then he goes ahead n does what I need done. Growing up none of his real emotional needs were met , is that him ….. unintentionally doing to me what was done to him ?

@thevisualboard Ай бұрын

Brilliant insight. This is education right here!!!

@poeticlovee 27 күн бұрын

Wow. The way you spoke to me! I just found you and wow. Just wow. New subbie.

@LittleBlackBook91 27 күн бұрын

@@poeticlovee by his grace more is coming

@MaybeAntonioJ 14 күн бұрын

she thought money was the problem and it sadly wasn't. So she's searching for anything she can to feel whole.

@tabithaowens8493 Ай бұрын

.......wow. hefty revelation Sir. I'm learning from you!

@RealDadElton Ай бұрын

This channel is special.

@LittleBlackBook91 Ай бұрын

wow thank you so much

@alwaysaccurate8725 Ай бұрын

I am a secure attachment… however a bad partner made me avoidant I could not express myself.. and he try to humble me. I had to break free. Im hoping she gets free.. completely understand her. HE was an avoidant dismissive

@auspiciousgoddess6 23 күн бұрын

Think about how she acted after Jackie O passed!!! Period

@Saturnsdaughter47 Ай бұрын

I have a dismissive avoidance

@SelfcareForTheMind Ай бұрын

This is great, you should definitely go in depth over more psychological theories. This is a wonderful way to study it but they’re also more ideas at play as well when it comes to Ms B Simone

@LittleBlackBook91 Ай бұрын

@@SelfcareForTheMind defo real talk

@Tiahassell Ай бұрын

I’m a DA and you are 100% spot on.

@lannyland_ 11 күн бұрын

Not you reading me DOWN. You wanting me to cry in the airport is craaazzzyy

@Inprogress_of_newbeginings 27 күн бұрын

I didn't expect to be canceled out like this 😊😢

@Qedoshim Ай бұрын

DEEP, deep. This is what happened in my marriage, in terms of rejection. He described my ex-wife perfectly.

@chrisroc754 Ай бұрын

I love your breakdown of this podcast! ❤

@shirlstemple8741 Ай бұрын

As a dismissive avoidant, this is spot on 😭😭

@sashua4 Ай бұрын

MMM MM MM! PREACH PASTOR! This is right on time 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾 3:23

@canihelpyou9067 Ай бұрын

Ohhhhhhh I never thought I’d have a lot in common with B Simone and yet here we are with our issues 😮😅

@amadeon827 19 күн бұрын

I’m crying because she’s me and I am she 😢😢😢whew this checked me hard.

@kenyadaposey3907 18 күн бұрын

2;28 mannnn that transformation is something!!!

@ketchupmustards2279 17 күн бұрын

When u start talking and the British came out 😮 it will never not be shocking to me ❤

@Saturnsdaughter47 Ай бұрын

I am def afraid of rejection

@janelleedwards7513 27 күн бұрын

She is the same person that refuses to date a man with a 9-5. So i dont know..

@nicolem889 12 күн бұрын

She’s young, she’s cute, she’s healthy, and she’s somewhat rich.

@daishakeirre 9 күн бұрын

THIS WAS SO GOOD 😢

@serahcw2723 Ай бұрын

Kojo I agree that 😢her attachment style play's a role. But there's more to this story. Her south node is in Leo north node Aquarius. She should read more on this this will help her understand herself better.

@someonespecial581 Ай бұрын

I am a recovering DA . This resonated way too loudly. Whew 🤦🏽‍♀️

@SuperKsilver Ай бұрын

Come on Part 2!!!!!!!!

@sophiadenise881 26 күн бұрын

Girl everybody having a hard time with making these men want us, don’t lower your standards no matter what stay strong put God first, stay true to you

@crystalc820 Ай бұрын

In my opinion....if that's the case most black Americans fall under this category 😢this was very insightful tho❤

@Escoveeche Ай бұрын

There’s someone out there for everyone. She’s annoying though

@glamfortheculture5583 Ай бұрын

This A Nassssssssssty Video. 😅 WELL DONE SIR. Subscribed ✅

@BaboOkie16 Ай бұрын

Can you make this same sort of video for fearful avoidant attachment style?

@rae52835 Ай бұрын

28:40 was when i was like ...who, me? 👀 I dont always agree with your takes on reality shows Kojo, but this video was very accurate, and I read alot about attachment theory and psychology in general. Over here casually clicking the link on your bio 😩

@LittleBlackBook91 Ай бұрын

By the grace of God

@joyceg7859 Ай бұрын

How can you ( I ) tell which one you are ( I am ) ???? Lolll.

@missstephaniewalker3313 28 күн бұрын

Breaking it Down!❤🙌🏿🙏🏿

@MyLordexe 12 күн бұрын

yall avoidants reach out to this man, he knows what hes talking about.

@Cassidy248 28 күн бұрын

Excellent video and really great breakdown! I'm wondering though, how I can book as there are no dates left in October and I can't go to November. Thanks

@LittleBlackBook91 28 күн бұрын

@@Cassidy248 dates are opening very slowly as I am fully booked clientele wise. Each day a new slot opens

@MarjorieParaison Ай бұрын

This was goooooood

@ninab6258 12 күн бұрын

Megan did her wrong. Megan expected her to save her from her depression and bipolar disorder. Nothing B. Simone did was ever enough for Megan. B. Simone literally went to counseling with Megan to learn how to be there for her, but Megan wasn’t satisfied. Even in their earlier videos Megan would roll her eyes at B. Simone and act like she didn’t like her. I hope B. Simone heals from the hurt people did to her.