"Living While Dying" is an essay I wrote and shared on my instagram a few months back. I thought I'd use it to set the tone for this video compilation of clips taken from my recent visit to Japan!
There is something to be said about living while dying.
How could impermanence hide in plain sight, and be set aside only as a topic to revisit upon old age? Living and dying happen simultaneously whether acknowledged or ignored. I spent a painfully long time walking in step to an expectation of the path that was set forth for me. If I had listened to this trajectory formed by authority, I would be so far removed from where I am today. Growing up, it seemed everyone had a cure, a solution to fix me, a how-to guide to glory, a lineage of continuity from my bloodline, and a roadmap leading through the various cycles and phases of my biology. At this age do this to gain that, be here to go there, earn this to buy that, start this to settle there. School, degree, job, relationship, family, kids, retirement, death. How simple and seductive it all appeared to be.
My perception of the definition of success was very much attached to the picturesque painting of the American Dream. Though when I untied the bow, tore through the thin gilded paper, and opened up the box, I came across the reality that even though I had gotten what I thought to have always desired, it appeared to be empty after all. I thought that maybe the cookie cutter would fit me to perfection, but when I applied it to myself, I didn’t seem to fit the mold.
I was baffled, let down and deeply disappointed. Where I thought to find a dream, I found a mirror reflecting my own delusion, shame, resentment and confusion. While at this new frontier bordering on early adulthood, I came to a crossroads where I was given the choice to shut up and accept, or speak up. Even with a feeble voice and a limp in my step, I chose to shape my world and make choices based on my own set of rules and principles.
To my surprise, my sensitivities and vulnerabilities indirectly turned into my greatest attributes and the powerhouse beneath my work. Somehow what I most feared turned out to be what I loved most about myself. The emotions which I once hid and suppressed, found a home in my art.
The urgency to live while dying has been the underlying narrative of my life as an artist, and damn does it feel good.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
WEBSITE: beaubernierfra...
INSTAGRAM: / beaubfrank
LIVE AUCTIONS: / 6x6auction
TUMBLR: / honestwork
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
ART SUPPLIES: amazon.com/sho...
(art tools, tech & camera equipment, shipping supplies, reading list)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Contact: beaubernierfrank@gmail.com
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
music: Jay Lounge - Alone // Luvbird - your smile // NOWË - Semeru