I cry but I don’t really feel pain. It’s like my body is responding to what I should be feeling but I can’t actually feel it.

"I hate pretending." Me too..

sometimes I feel.... fake happy? I guess that is what you could call it. I convince myself that I am happy, but then I realize that I have to fake smile, and now its just normal for me.

Even when I’m happy I just walk into a room by myself and burst into tears

"I want to be a pretty girl!" "Well you're not a pretty girl and you know it!" That, that hit me so hard that I legit burst into silently crying.

"Y O U D O N ' T E V E N K N O W M E" "N O B O D Y E V E N K N O W S M E"

I used to be a bright and happy child when I was young... and 11 years later here I am starving myself, trying to fit in, acting like I care, crying myself to sleep, cutting myself and loving dark colors.....

"We all have our little private traps." Some of us are lucky to get out... Some of us die in the process... But being stuck in a trap slowly kills you...

"I cant feel anything" Well i feel everything.

1: Hey 2: Yeah..? 1: Do you cry most of the time? 2: No. 1: Do you feel okay? 2: Always. 1: Ever have any suicidal thoughts? 2: No, not one. 1: Do you have any friends? 2: So many i cant even count them. 1: Do you have any scars of cutting yourself? 2: What? No, of course not. 1: Did you feel any love this year? 2: Yeah, a lot. 1: Did you lost people? 2: No, they never left. 1: Did your depressed feelings ever went away? 2: Yeah, they did. 1: Did people ever threatened you 2: ... Everybody that reads this...this is my story but upside down. It's an original one, i wrote this. I hope you like it.

I cant feel anything some days but other days I feel everything at oncr

I'm crying, but I feel so numb. I dont even feel the reason why I'm crying.

I smile with no reason I cry with no tears Im scared with no emotions Im jealous for someone who wouldn’t do anything for me There is no point so i just give up and let everyday just be another day. Waking up is a nightmare that came true. There is no point of anything. No matter how hard i try, i just end up hurting myself more everyday. Its like a continuous cycle that will never end unless i find something worth living for then maybe i will be happy. Knowing it will not last long.

everyone I know thinks they know me But I am the greatest actor ever and no one knows it

It's even worse when you just sit in your room alone and feel that giant weight on your chest and you just feel like you need comfort, but you don't have anyone to call, and the people around you would never understand what you're going through so you just sit there not knowing what to do. Every single god damn night it gets harder as you feel that you have no reason to get up in the morning and serve any purpose in someone's life.

"I don't feel sad. I don't feel anything" -tate

"I used to not eat for days or eat like crazy and then stick my fingers done my throat. Now no matter how much I binge I can't fill this hole inside me." This hit me so hard I burst out crying and I can't stop

You know what I think? I think that,,, we're all in our private traps Clamped in them And none of us can ever get out Some times we deliberately step into those traps I was born in mine, I don't mind it anymore I will give everything I have, or will ever have just to feel pain again I can't feel anything We think that pain is the worst feeling It isn't How can anything be worse than this eternal silence inside me I used to not eat for days, or eat like crazy and then stick my fingers down my throat Now no matter how much I binge, I can't fill this hole inside me What do you care what I think anyway I don't even count, right? I could disappear forever, and it wouldn't make any difference Don't you ever, _EVER_ compare yourself to me Ok? You got everything, and I got shit "how did it feel, to be the most beautiful girl in the world?" It was wonderful, The most joyous thing you could ever imagine And it was never enough "wash that smut off your face!" "No! I wanna be a pretty girl!" "Well your NOT a pretty girl! And you know it!" "But I wanna be!" "The answer to feeling unattractive, isn't to make yourself even uglier!" Please! You can't leave me now! Not after what they've done to me! I'm sorry I'm sorry IM SORRY It's a reason to lose weight To fit in the red dress It's a reason to smile It makes tommorow alright ITS NOT ABOUT YOU! And I can't do it anymore! I can't do it anymore! I hate everything! I hate pretending! You don't even now me, okay, you don't know me _nobody knows me_

That moment when you realize most of this stuff is from American Horror Story

Idk where else to vent. I can't hold back anymore. I show people a positive caring girl who just wants to see everyone happy to make my own self happy. But really, I'm feeling more and more pain inside of me as the days go by. Right now, Im starting to lose sight of myself. Im starting to become less of my joyful giddy self. Im starting to become more and more empty. I'm really tired of everything. Of life. Of people's expectations. I'm surrounded by plenty of caring friends, I'm glad for that, but I'm thinking they're all going to leave. Even my best friend.. shes been through all my moody moments.. why hasnt she left. Why hasnt she found a better friend who doesnt have these kinds of problems... why wont she leave like I expected... I wanna leave.. i wanna no longer exist. Its the only way. Its the only way to make others happy. Others happiness makes me happy remember? Im so broken. Im starting to fall apart and the only person keeping those pieces together is my best friend.. but I just wanna go. Im tired of life. Please... please take me away from this life...

SO SAD AND AT THE SAME TIME SO GOOD

What i wanna scream every day

If you’re reading this... ✨hi love, I’m here for you ✨

It's like I feel *nothing* for a really long time and one day I feel *everything* all at once...

I've been hurt so many times I can't feel anything and when I do feel something it's just a faint feeling ...

i could disappear forever and it wouldn't make any difference 😓that's how i feel everyday

Dad: So, you have to care and love yourself, so nobody does Me: *sitting in silence bc i can't since 4 years*

Isn't it sad that nobody knows you but whats worse is that you don't know who u are

I was sad and this was kind of relatable. Until John from The Breakfast Club started talking. Then I just smiled.

Always respect your pillow it's the only one who will catch your tears.

It just me the only one that feels sad but I can't burst into tears anymore like the feeling is there but no water is seen in my eyes

I swear I don’t feel happy I constantly have this like sad feeling, sometimes not that noticeable but it’s always there

Alot of people talk about how they always feel horrible and will start crying out of ni where for no reason. But does anyone feel like me, like you have gotton so used to disappointment that you want to cry so bad but it just wont come out and you feel trapped.

“nobody knows me..” This hit real hard...

This is BEAUTIFUL. STUNNING job.

I smile when everyone is watching but cry when I'm alone

Sometimes I just feel lost, like I might not ever regain any of my strength. Then I'll just be there, feeling numb and empty.

5 stomach burning pills with a strong black coffee on empty stomach when I can't even bear it but now all these combined feel so good like I can finally feel something even if it's a bad feeling, better than scar keeping cuttings

This is absolute beautiful 😭😘😍

You should see this mom. You should see how I feel now and it's your fault and you wouldn't even know it. comment this a year ago. I feel so much worse now. nothing helps. even tried getting help. It doesn't help.

i love the feeling of pain bc sometimes that's all i can feel.. that's why i self harm. bc i feel the pain

...😞☠️I wish I had someone to be close to and wish I could I could SPEAK with them, you know.........

NF put it perfectly “the truth is i need help but I just can’t imagine who I’d be if I was happy, been this way so long it feels like somethings off when I’m not depressed”

Those of you who still have still the ability to feel, even if it's sad. you're luckier than those who just can't feel anything anymore. Feeling sad is better than not feeling anything, being so empty and numb inside that you don't even know what it feels like to be sad. At least those of you who are sad, can feel the sadness, can let it out. this emptiness, there's nothing to let out. So, please if you're sad find a way to get better, find a way out of your sadness because trust me if you stay in there too long it'll become this emptiness that is far worse than sadness.

I love the darkness and night times because its like the room I'm trapped in.......but it feels safe

"I would give everything I have, or I will ever have just to feel pain again." that's like SO me.

2 years ago... was the hardest year of my life.. my demons consumed me... my life was so empty... I had friends but I never was myself.. after that year.. I got better. Made new and closer bonds to those who really cared about me.. now I'm falling back to that dark place. I'm fighting hard.. and I'm sorry for all those struggling too. We got this, let's just keep going

You know when you’re crying but yet the only feeling inside of u is the tears flowing down you’re cheeks, I might be happy around others but as soon as I make it in my room the reality of life sinks in and I sit in silence listening to music like this because it makes me feel normal and like I’m actually a real thing....

I have hated myself since I was 10 I have been doing self harm I cut scars all over my arm in just one night, I don't eat for days, I did anything to keep my best friend safe, I am depressed,I have anxienty, I feel so empy, I feel worthless,I can't meet my dad who means everything to me even if he took drugs he have a place in my heart,I fake smiles all the time and it feels like no one REALLY knows me...I had a best friend he maybe didn't understand me but he still meaned everything to me...I have gotten punched down to keep him safe,When his dad was drunk (He was drunk very often because hes was an alcoholic) his dad would scream at me and him he would try to hurt him but I wouldn't let that happen but he sadly died because of his dad punched him til he died...I loved him he wasn't just a friend but hes gone forever and hes NEVER coming back I miss you like crazy and you didn't deserve to die 😞💔 sorry for my bad english

Even when I’m happy, I begin to bring myself down - “Why are you happy?” “How can YOU be happy?” “You don’t deserve to feel happiness”

I watched this entire thing...without crying 💔🥺 I’m broken.

I lay down sometimes and I just can’t feel anything. I’m always drowning in this eternal silence.

ANYTHING WITH AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CRY DJALUSOAJDBF.

“I can’t fill this hole inside me” Just hit hard:(

thank you, this helped me cry a bit, which is something my psyche tries to fight every time I feel bad and it makes it feel like my head is about to explode all the time

"Nobody knows me" That hit hard. I have so many good friends but none of them know the true me, the empty me, that lives inside me, silently. They all know my quirky side, the side in front of the facade, sure one of them knows I am depressed but I wouldn't call it depression anymore, I just feel empty, like nothing really matters anymore. I think before quarantine I busied myself into oblivion just so I wouldn't notice but because of the quarantine I can sense it, I have no emotions. Sure I cry and laugh, but it's what I taught myself to do and what my body does on its own. I don't feel anything on the inside and I think that's why I can't explain to anyone how I feel, because I don't.

The eating part gets me the most

"I'm tired of pretending. Where's my happy ending?"

I haven’t really been laughing or smiling lately but I can’t cry and feel sad..... I’m either pissed off and mad or empty. I laugh and smile to make sure no one knows that I feel empty......

Its a reason to smile, we don’t want people around us always wanting to know why we cry, why we never smile. We want no one but ourselves to get hurt because we know how it feels.

I wish i wass neverr bornn im so sorry every bady 💭

I don’t care about anything anymore

Idk why i try to hurt myself , but when i do it feel's so nice . It feel's like i'm letting go something that i don't know , but it just feel like something precious that i don't want to keep . I know it sound's confusing , but i hope you know what i mean if your reading .

“And it was never enough” That hits. ......I’ve realized all my life I’ve been trying to watch sad things, and try everything I can to make me burst out crying or to make me feel pain but whenever I do start crying it suddenly stops as I start. I don’t want to die I just want to get relief although sometimes I feel like that’s the only way to relief

I feel nothing except emptiness

A beautiful girl living the world But yet cant have the life But yet cant have that beautiful Wonderful life she wanted The black dress she spotted As beautiful as a broken rose And yet she didnt eat Yet she didnt talk She just fell apart...

I cant even cry... I have to say how happy I am to those who are around me because they will say "you're just pretending to be liked" and its killing me

sometimes i catch myself feeling great, like i could never be better. But then when i realize i have nothing to be happy for, it makes me feel horrible. that’s when it all just goes back to normal and repeats.

I can't feel anything... help me

This music makes me cry so much and this audio just makes me cry more

It's like everyone has their own books, their own chapters to their story. But nobody ever realized the book was nonfiction, until one day when nobody read and listened to that book. Till one day that book disappeared.

I can't feel anything.Neither sadness and neither happiness.And it's the worst ,,feeling" somebody could have.

It’s either I feel everything all at once or nothing at all

Hey you, my friends You dont know me You never have You only know what i let you know And even then...its not great Do you realize that i am a stranger to you?

it's been so long that I forgot what it's like to be happy to really feel the joy or maybe it passes by me every day and I'm not able to feel it

I hate when people say they understand and they feel depressed too, they neve understand and their meaning of depressed isn't the same. It's not like feeling the never-ending amount of emptiness or that sadness that never disappears. It twists your mind into thinking that your nothing and just another piece of useless flesh put onto the Earth that no one cares about.. and I believe it every-time. I can't help but feel that bottomless pit inside of me and try to be genuinely happy, when that happiness seemed to not come with the package at all. We can't stop the way we feel but we try to do things about it but it gives time, and telling us you relate when you don't or you understand but still continue to tell us to just lighten up doesn't make it any easier. I'm 12 years old and the feeling is unbearable, it's annoying how girls in my school make anxiety and depression a 'trend' when it's something serious that most people go through.

My face trough this video: .__.

It's like my body is a prison and the real me sreaming to get out with out of voice

“How can anything be worse than this eternal silence inside of me” This describes my feelings so much omg..i got hurt so often that im just numb inside.. i want to be sad..i want to cry but i cant..it is just the worst feeling.

"What do you care what i think anyway? I don't even count, right? I could disappear forever and it wouldn't make any difference" Its such a goosebump cause I said almost these exact words to my ex and all she said was 'i'll find another guy who is more emotionally strong, not like you". I was so so devastated, broken and destroyed. (unfortunately, i still am shattered). It hurts like hell. People say move on, but i cant, i just cant !!!!!!

I can't feel anything

I’m at the point we’re I can’t feel anything and I don’t care anymore.

i literally can’t feel, there will be times when i’m crying my eyes out and i think, i notice, i don’t actually feel anything like i used to. when i’m laughing so hard i can’t breathe, i don’t feel anything. i don’t feel joy or happiness. it’s weird, it’s miserable. it’s not nice to feel dead, literally.

i cant cry anymore. i used to cry every day for hours i stoped sleeping because i just count stop crying but now for the past 3 weeks i haven't cried and its not because im better im just over it, over everything, im over life. i just cant do this anymore

1:15 breakfest club 💓

*LOVE* What is that name that we made up and it does not exist anymore feel like people doesn't take it seriously anymore which they shouldn't and their life should depend on love but nowadays they treat it like it's nothing it's trash if somebody give their trust in you would heart you break them but why why does the word have to be like this *I will not say it until you* *see for yourself*

Sometimes I get some feeling and I don’t recognize it and then it hits me I don’t even recognize when I’m happy anymore 😢🤧

"I can't feel anything" I've felt like that before, but I've never really felt it. I have never truly felt numb, the pain is always there. I have never been devoid of emotion. I wish I was. But I'm so emotional, I can't just stop feeling. No one sees it. No one can tell how much pain I'm in. I'll hide, drowning in my tears, wishing it would end. I'd hide in my closet, tying and re-tying a noose. And whenever the pain is to much, I'll find something to tie. Over and over and over again. Knowing I would never have the strength to end my suffering. I'll just keep crying, and ruining lives. Because that's all I do. Maybe my mom is right, I'm not actually sad, I just want to be disrespectful, and put everyone else in a bad mood. Or maybe I'm just slipping slower into insanity. Wanting to believe the worst. Maybe I'm just broken. But you can fix something if it's broken, so does that mean I'm not? Is this who I am, or am I so broken that you can't put me back together? I'll never know. Because no one knows me. If they did, maybe I'd be fixable. Maybe I wouldn't be broken in the first place. But no one cares. Why would they?

Sometimes i randomly cry without feeling any emotion and im not sure why can someone tell me why

the ending is how I feel

"I would give everything I have or will ever have just to feel pain again"🔥

ik when i am sad i just can’t cry or feel it. It’s like it’s there but i will never feel it. i just wanna go back to being sad

When I lost you, I lost myself

I can't feel anything! I relate so bad to that i just don't care!

This is making me remember all the awful things I’ve been through. I remember that one day at school I got in trouble because of a girl I use to be friends with she told a yard suite that I threaten her when me and her were best friends but I told her the truth that I never threatened her she was always threatening me and then I started to cry only one person was there for me and I barely know her she was my a girls mom and she saw me crying and asked what was wrong because I was crying and then I told her and she told one of the teachers and they both saw me crying in class and we had a party in class that day so after that I hid it down in my body I never told my family but one day I told my mom. She was wondering why I was very sad. Whoever read this entire thing thank you this entire thing is true I became friends with that girl again but I keep asking my self why I became her friend again even though she ruined my life when we stopped being friends

“I hate everything... I hate pretending... no one knows me” damn my heart sunk cz I felt that

I don’t have any words....

I ALWAYS BESIDES YOU...I ❤ U..

There were times when I used to sob and cry a lot while watching this but now I’m just numb even when I want to cry, the tears won’t come out

I am the kind of person who makes people happy. The girl who everyone turns to when they're having problems and being in their worse time in their lives. The girl who seems to have a happy nd joyous life. The girl who has no major problem in her life. I am that girl. Little did everybody know, I'm not real. That girl they rely on, is just an act. I've pretended to be a person who I'm notn that I don't even know myself anymore. I don't know who I really am. My life is fucked up and no one knows that. My parents, they both cheat. My dad has other families. I found out about it last year. I met a girl named carmen at a camp. We became very close because we had so much in common. Our dads were absent in our lives even when he was there, but we never felt his presence. On the last day of the camp, she showed me her family photo and saw my dad in it. That day, I knew that my dad didn't only cheat on my mom, but on his children too. When I confronted him about it, which was last month, he confessed the truth. My mom didn't care. It sucks. All of my siblings are depressed. My parents abused us too... verbally, physically. My mom often beat us up and my dad always say harsh words to us. It just sucks, a lot. I want this to end. And I was molested when I was 4 years old, I lost my virginity. It was a horrifying memory. My mom's brother molested me. He died in a car crash after his engagement party. I did said to him that i hoped for him to never get married. And it happened. I feel guilty about it, until now. My mom kept blaming me for his death. I hate this. I feel so fucking worthless. So fucking useless. I just want to die. Can I please just die? I'm tired of being someone I'm not. Every night I'd cry myself to sleep. Nobody was there to make me feel better. My sister was the one who made me feel better when I feel like shit. But now, she's far away from me. She's in college now... and it's so far away from here. I just feel like ending everything. It could not get better. It will never get better. Because, just when I thought things were getting better, it ends with a disaster. Since then, I've never had high expectations out of everything. I don't want to look forward to anything. Because all of those are just temporary. I had good times in my life, but I never get to enjoy those times fully. When I'm in those times, I just know that when it ends, everything will turn back to how it used to be. Bad and sad. I'm just over reacting... Maybe it's not as worse as I thought. I'm just another whiny "depressed" bitch who's looking for attention, I guess. Because that's what everybody thinks that I am when I tell them this. It just makes me hate myself more. Because I think they're right. They're fucking right. I should just fucking die and not exist at all.