Jumping off points: 0:35 Being on drugs is not always obvious 2:55 ADHD and executive function, ''amping up'' 7:15 Caffeine! ADHD and axiety, stimulants 11:30 Hot mic 12:28 Drugs. What's the fascination 16:50 Bullying, comparison fenomenon Don't forget to thumbs up the video because Stirk deserves ti

So Shayne and I have eerily identical iterations of anxiety and ADHD, to the point where I could tell just from the way he was sitting in the pods that he a) had ADHD b) was in a situation where it was being badly triggered and c) attempting to medicate it away with caffeine (likely because his pills had worn off by that time of night), because he looked like a very extreme version of how I look in high stress situations when I make bad choices about self-soothing. What you were describing as constantly trying to rev your brain up when you have ADHD is kind of true. There are basically two types of ADHD, inattentive and hyperactive (and like most things with two main types, it's a spectrum so a lot of people have a mixture of both). Inattentive type people present more as space cadets, kind of dreamy and oblivious. That's the type of person who, like you described, is constantly seeking to stimulate themselves because otherwise they're living in a sort of haze. The other end of the spectrum, which I think Shayne hovers even closer to than I do, is hyperactive. The issue in this case isn't that the brain engine is always idling, it's that the brain engine has two speeds: off and on. When the brain is on, it's racing. I usually describe this as my ideation feeling like when you have multiple tabs on your computer open to KZfaq, and your phone is playing something, and the radio is on, and the TV is too. What you're always seeking in that space is this elusive sense of balance. You need to be stimulated because if you're not, your brain will default to stimulating itself through panic (the most stimulating emotion). But if you're too stimulated, you tend to get snappy and moody and overwhelmed because it feels like someone added too many tabs to your brain on top of the ones already running. Therapy and medication helps a lot with getting some level of control over this balance and teaches you how to get stimulus in ways that are more socially acceptable than the probably very bad ways you've thought up on your own to use (like caffeine), but to some extent it's a baked in thing. I will probably always need music, a podcast, or KZfaq video in the background in order to get work or chores done, which is incidentally, is how I found this channel in the first place.

When I need a laugh I play this game called "drunk doctor" where I slow down the audio to 75% and pretend that Dr Honda is drunkenly discussing 90 day couples. It works best when he goes on a tangent.

I'm glad Shane disclosed his ADHD diagnosis. As Dr. Honda said, ADHD can present very differently from person to person, but, as a parent of a child with ADHD, it's the first thing I thought of when I observed some of his behaviors on Love is Blind. I had a lot of empathy for him and still do. Truthfully, I wondered if his reaction to Natalie after calling her Shayna by mistake was a result of rejection sensitive dysphoria (a common ADHD symptom) - "Rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) is extreme emotional sensitivity and pain triggered by the perception that a person has been rejected or criticized by important people in their life. It may also be triggered by a sense of falling short-failing to meet their own high standards or others' expectations....It’s not that people with attention deficit disorder (ADHD or ADD) are wimps, or weak; it’s that the emotional response hurts them much more than it does people without the condition. No one likes to be rejected, criticized or fail. For people with RSD, these universal life experiences are much more severe than for neurotypical individuals. They are unbearable, restricting, and highly impairing." - Dr William Dodson

I totally relate to Shayne on the ADHD... Put me in a small pod for 3 hours without a phone or something to distract me aside from overthinking and anxious feelings and I would act like that too.

I think by “horrible anxious energy” he means both adhd and anxiety. Adhd because he’s revving himself up to concentrate. Anxiety because he knows (from past trauma) that if he can’t concentrate, he’ll be ridiculed.

“people use drugs, get over it.” -dr. kirk honda 🌟 ur the people’s psychologist

I didn't understand the drug comments people were making. He only reminded me so much of my brother with sever ADHD. I kept seeing my brother watching him and feeling so bad for Shane.

Thank you for mentioning that people use drugs and it's not always obvious. In fact, many people keep it very very hidden, even from every single friend or family member they have, and the shame and isolation due to drug use can be detrimental to the person and their addiction. I've personally been there and thankfully I was able to come out about it and work through it with the support of a non judgemental therapist and a loving partner. ❤️

This reminds me of 90-day Loren and Alexi. People kept saying Loren was on drugs and in reality she has tourettes and she came out with it publicly because of the acquisitions. It just sucks that people jump to these conclusions.

This was such an interesting video. It really summarizes why I’ve stopped participating as much as I have online. I feel like if you ever try to have a different opinion or even calling out bullying (even if it’s for someone I don’t like), you just get piled on and accused of being a terrible person. Very reassuring to hear that this observation of online culture isn’t unique to just me.

Thank you for this one! I have adhd and used to say I had a “natural high” as a joke for my hyper/excited appearance. If I’m excited about something or anxious, I sound a lot like Shane… My heart goes out to the dude. Reality tv sounds so overwhelming!

I have Adhd and found that some prescribed medications would make me feel high… especially if I drank coffee. I actually changed meds once because I couldn’t stop grinding my teeth during the day. Medication can really help and I certainly miss it now that I’m pregnant and can’t take it. Getting stuff done can be very overwhelming at times. Now when I drink coffee, it makes me sleepy! So strange.

Coffee has an opposite effect on people with ADHD and calms them down and helps them focus. It works like adderall, so I understand why he drinks it. Everyone in my family has adhd and drinks like a pot of coffee a day.

I thought the drug accusations/talk from people was so ridiculous and unfair. So many people jumped on that bandwagon and continued spreading that rumor; a rumor that could have affected his career. I agree you can't just look at a stranger's behavior (none of us know him) and know whether they are using cocaine. People need to do better when it comes to judgments like that.

Man hearing you describe adhd is exactly how my husband is. He is diagnosed with adhd and is prescribed adderall but he hates it and wants to quit but it is very difficult.

OMG what Kirk mentioned about using anxiety to manage ADHD hit me really hard. I taught myself to do that somewhere between high school and college and it helped me so much, at the cost of some negative emotions.

My dad has adhd & I suspect I do & we can both drink tons of coffee & it does nothing. I can drink 5 shots of espresso & take a nap immediately. My point being…. It affects everyone differently 😂

Alcohol is just so accepted in our society, to the point where it's considered odd if you're not a drinker, that people forget that it's a drug. It affects you in many more negative ways than something like marijuana, but that was demonized until very recently (there's a long, complicated history with marijuana specifically that involves money and racism (of course), that's too complicated for a KZfaq comment).

I really don't like Shayne at all, but I still thought the way that people were talking about him online was gross. I have ADHD too and instantly recognized his behavior as neurodivergent. People online (even some channels I respect) were treating the idea that he was on drugs as practically a fact. Not only is it weirdly minimizing and stigmatizing towards drug addiction to mock Shayne in that way, but the fact that so many people didn't even seem to consider that he could have something like ADHD or Tourette's shows how far we still have to go when it comes to destigmatizing conditions like this. I have a ton of criticism for Shayne's behavior on the show (namely, his treatment of Natalie), but I do respect the fact that he made such a point to call out the way the public were talking about his mannerisms. ADHD is frequently seen as joke of a condition, but there are so many struggles that come with navigating this society as a neurodivergent person and we experience a lot of ableism and misunderstanding based on the ways we act. It's not a joke when thousands of people are treating you like you're a coke addict because of the way your brain works, and I think a ton of neurodivergent people can relate to things like this - whether we're being called annoying for the way we talk, being called disrespectful for struggling with time management, or being treated like we're jerks for not emoting in the ways that other people expect us to.

The internet loves to falsely accuse others of drug use. That being said, the question of "what is the fascination with drugs?" seems a little flippant. People lose their families, jobs and lives due to addiction.

Yes 👏 I find your take on the conversation around drugs and alcohol so refreshing. It is seriously so childish to be so fixated on if or if not someone is doing drugs, especially like you said “in a situation where everyone is drinking alcohol”, which also affects someone’s cognitive abilities.

Thank you for reacting to this!!

*Long and Unecessary* (TLDR: Thank u Dr. Kirk, because now I am properly diagnosed) I wasn't diagnosed yet when these episodes aired, but I literlally thought ADHD the moment he was in the pods moving around changing positions every 3 seconds (I was in denial of my own, people close to me suggested it was a possibility). By the time that people were talking he was doing drugs, I was like, this literally could just be ADHD. Even when I failed to recognize it within myself, his behavior didn't seem that odd to me, thats how I am kinda. I'm bored, restless and anxious, and as you said Dr. Kirk, and In my personal opinion specially if diagnosed late, anxiety can be another compounding factor. I've messed sooo many things up, I've failed so much to meet the standard guidelines that I've had to be overtly alert about what I'm doing and how, I'm very insecure because I've made so many mistakes. I often feel useless and like I have to overcompensate for being me, in many ways. From a young age I got addicted to coffee and then severly addicted nicotine a little later. It's been painful, and I can see how painful it has been for shayne to go through this experience. Specially when you are mischaracterized about something you can't control. Even when seeking help, i was given a BPD label, and then when medicated with just mood stabilizers which wow (biggest depression of my life), when i then failed to make appointments or forgot, i was scolded and told I just didn't wanna get better. Your videos saved my life in many ways, I had lost all hope, and you kept telling me to seek help every video because I deserved it. I can't thank you enough.

I think it was on a Reddit thread that they all were using but that he was doing way more

I am literally sitting here reading whilst playing with silly putty because my hands can't stop. I have a bag of fidgets (lots of different colors of silly putty, because obviously, thinking putty (more like slime), pop-it fidget spinners, slinky, and some other finger fidgets) right next to my bed. My 6 y/o daughter will open my Amazon packages and think it's stuff for her and her brother. WRONG, LITTLE LADY, GIVE ME MY SLIME.

Dr. Honda, I know this isn't applicable to this video, but can you do an analysis of unexpected on TLC? There's a couple, Kylen and Jason, that have elicited a lot of commentary online due to his abusive behavior - see Reddit and this week's TW before the episode. I think it would be extremely helpful to have you comment on this relationship. I know you have a lot on your plate with 2 videos a day but we could use your insight on this one. Thank you!!!

i felt bad for shayne, as someone with adhd, i completely relate to the way he moves and bounces and talks and reacts and emotionally regulates. it sucks that people absolutely pile on him for body language, it's hard on the daily, let alone on camera. i agree on your take on the drug usage thing as well!

I was actually wondering from the first few episodes if Shayne might have ADHD. Was that something he said on the show and I missed it or did he say it in an interview?

I've been recently diagnosed with ADHD, and it makes so much sense now why he triggered me so much. When I am in a room with someone hyper, it overstimulates me to an extent that I get panic attacks because my brain goes into overdrive.

It definitely looked like a setup the second time because he went in there to propose to Natalie. Would production not know that? Or would they have seen him on camera talking about his plans, or have seen him put the ring I his pocket? Or maybe they could have just asked him.

Thank you

Am I the only one worried that we wont get a second episode today..?

I haven’t watched the American Love Is Blind, I watched this video because of the referencing of ADHD - and because I like your content and your voice is suiting. Have said that, I watched the Brazilian version, and as a person diagnosed with ADHD and other comorbidities, I think that I would probably get extremely agitated in those pods, and people would probably perceive me as a terrible person. I am aware of that, if he is diagnosed with ADHD, what lead him to decide to go to this show? Reality shows are not an environment for Neurodivergent people to thrive. Remember Elizabeth from The Bachelor being mocked by Clayton because of her diagnosis. I been bullied my whole life, don’t need to be humiliated on tv as well. No, thank you! 😳

Idk about the bullying theory. I think it's about the editing that is wired to push us to be passionate, and the line of TV characters and reality being blurred

Have so more empathy knowing he is ADHD! It's tough to manage especially impulses, feeling insecure, stupid, inadequate and life skills.

Honestly the part about how ppl go off and make assumptions of these ppl in reality shows makes a lot of sense. I often felt like ppl would try right away to pick out the one's they hate and then just judge them the whole time while I was really just trying to take everything in and understand what was happening. It definitely feels like JHS/HS bullies and ppl forming teams or picking out their favorites while also choosing who they will hate. In a way it almost becomes a sport since ppl then bond with others over hating ppl on reality tv they don't even know.

No wonder he has anxiety if he drinks so much espresso, I used to have too when I did coffee and energy drinks

Patiently waiting for you to react to Love is Blind - Japan. Please!! よろしくお願いします🥺

Oooo Shayne is neurodivergent?? I didn't know. I guess now I know why some things he spoke so familiar to me because I think I related to his rejection sensitivity dysphoria. I can see shayne be neurodivergent. He doesn't feel manipulative or mean like Shake. But has an innocent vibe and with him, you get what you're seeing. The anger issues aside ( and him misbehaving with Natalie. Which we didn't see) I didn't think he was a bad person.

ru gonna react to love is blind japan

Plssss more ultimatum videos🥹

Wow I'm really early

What do y'all think about Gabbie Hanna on the latest "Escape the Night"? She too claimed ADHD as the reason for her controversial behavior.

Thank you for this video. I have ADS but when I feel overwhelmed I have similar behaviour with my appearance like him. I really feel for him because it’s kind of we need to remind us that we have it but we can’t change it and sometimes I wish I would have it better under control.I get super fast distracted and need always stimulations. So maybe that’s why he was enjoying both girls at the same time keeping the tension. Not an excuse but just saying it about the stimulation. My mantra 🕉️ word is FOCUS

I think Shake went online and claimed that Shayne and Deepti used drugs.

Ok, love ur insight but drinking to excess and drugs is killing our young adults worse than a plague ; it’s not funny or judgey..I lost my dad to cirrhosis when he was 42, lost my only son on this Christmas to dilated cardiomyopathy , huge doses energy drinks and alcohol …27 and died🥺

Sorry to all of you who decided to watch those two blond white guys speaking with each other for an hour (I guess). My heart goes out to you.

I read that CPTSD looks like ADD because you disassociate. It could be a combination of the two because he also said that he has anxiety and what appears to be an attachment disorder. He had to be complimented and reassured that Natalie liked him constantly. Honestly, to me he appears to have NPD because of his deflection and projection onto Natalie. This was in the beginning of his relationship with her. That was his BEST behavior! It would have only have gotten worse.

I never felt Shane was using drugs. I have ADHD too but it doesn’t manifest how his does and still when I heard it could possibly be that I felt like it made more sense than him being high on coke. But I will say personally I think the reason why people care if someone is using or not (aside from all the problematic aspects like anti drug propaganda ) might be because they need an explanation for the behaviour. I think the context for someone’s behaviour changes if they are on drugs or not. Like if someone is drunk people may feel okay with excusing certain behaviour or not. For me if Shane was on coke for example (which again I don’t and never believed he was) it would change how I viewed his behaviour on the show a lot and make things that seemed like general personality traits seem more like temporary effects of drug use. I don’t know definitely could be wrong there as I haven’t used every drug to see how they effect others so maybe they have little effect and I’m just buying into the propaganda

It's easy to say that he doesn't like he's on cocaine, from people who've never been around people who were always on cocaine. He's definitely on some drugs. I don't mind being wrong but my opinion from being in the crowd of drugs he definitely fits the bill.

Very unprofessional "interviewer" who tries to look legit but is not. At timestamp 00:20 Shane declares what order of topics he will address. What will come first & what will come later. Nope. A source *never* dictates the order of operations. Never. Journalists decide what, when & how to pose questions. Pre-planning dictates this. Handing control of the interview over is amateurish. And lose the cheesy fake local news backdrop.

I'm early yeyy

He was sweating buckets lol- he was on drugs on tht reunion

I did not like shayne at all, but did never get the cocain comments... as someone with adhd myself, sadly such comments are not uncommon. Especially in special social occasions (like evening birthday party or domething) people think i am kinda drunk when i have not had a sip of alcohol.

Shane spends $2000 a month in takeout. I took that as "I have a $2000 a month cocaine habit" esp considering the way he acted in generalb

Disagree. You can very much tell when ppl are on coke, esp if it's laced.

You don't have to be a "brain scientist" to notice ADHD. Just like you don't have to be a biologist to know the meaning of the word woman. I noticed it right away!

a psychologist who doesnt care if people are taking drugs explains the drug epidemic in the US

I learned that ADHD comes from Trauma. It's not just a quirk like we think. It tracks with what Dr Honda has observed from him. He was very disregulated during the show because it was stressful. that makes sense to me.

Yes 👏 I find your take on the conversation around drugs and alcohol so refreshing. It is seriously so childish to be so fixated on if or if not someone is doing drugs, especially like you said “in a situation where everyone is drinking alcohol”, which also affects someone’s cognitive abilities.