Loving your comments! Let me clarify that I agree with you all about the instances of verbal and emotional abuse specifically through intimidation and withdrawal which I discuss. This video focuses on the warning signs for us to pay attention to in our own dating lives and relationships. When I refer to “DV,” I’m referring to the speculations most of us have heard about *physical* violence which I of course cannot confirm. I’m sorry for not making that clearer!

Something that was a BIG red flag for me was the fact that Matt only accepted the truth about the pool incident when he heard it from Cole, who said basically the same thing Colleen did. He listened to the guy who was involved in the situation and not to his fiancé

The show needs to add premarital counseling into the four weeks before the couples’ wedding days

Matt is a bundle of insecurities and red flags wrapped up in a cross necklace. He gave me bad vibes all over the place.

You know, I actually think Cole and Colleen would have made a LOT more sense. I know Cole wanted something deeper, but I think Colleen would have gotten there and they are both more easy going, fun loving people. I think they would have made a great couple.

i was SO hoping you would talk more about the aquarium scene. The way he kept saying “don’t play games colleen, say it, say it, say it” and the anger in his eyes was honestly terrifying and i would’ve loved some more analysis of that

Colleen was committed to not leaving alone because she got rejected twice in the pods & was called out for being surface level. She definitely settled. Matt is really aggressive & it’s worrisome.

I found it particularly disturbing how terrified Colleen looked at the reunion. Matt was towering over her which I perceive as a demonstration of his power. I don’t really believe they have worked out the issues in their power dynamic yet

But didn’t you notice that she literally looked terrified at the reunion. Look at her face. It speaks volumes!!

Matt gives me the creeps. At the reunion Colleen did look nervous and frightened. And does Matt behave like he does because his partner left him or was he left because he acted like this for a long time?

It stuck out to me that at the reunion when Nick and Vanessa did their segue to address the Pool Incident, Colleen looked scared. It is definitely something that is still affecting that couple even though nothing happened and the reunion is a YEAR later. I don't think anyone would be surprised if she did step forward in the future and say she was abused in this relationship. I hope they are both in therapy.

Something I picked up on when Matt and Colleen were talking about how they "resolved" the issues of that night when Matt had his first blow up was that Matt was primarily the one speaking and he kept saying that "we have to work on our communication." Who's "we"? 'Cause last time I checked, Colleen was being completely honest and was working with Matt and even walked away when it was getting too much for her while Matt was talking over her, following her when she clearly was separating herself, yelling, talking to the producer, threatening to leave, and basically physically intimidating her to a degree. Very interesting how he was like "we" instead of "I."

I’d like to know if you noticed Colleen’s oddly quiet persona at the reunion. She seemed tired and definitely not present. As Matt was raving about her, she seemed detached and her facial expression was weak. We know Colleen to be very bubbly and chatty throughout the szn, so that was concerning to me and many others.

Coleen just wanted to be “picked”.

Please break down Nancy and Bartise! So curious on your thoughts on their relationship!

The look in his eyes and the laughing anger thing he has multiple times was the exact same look and laugh my ex had right before he moved from the verbal abuse to the physical abuse. He scares the shit out of me and I already feel sorry for Colleen. I’m not therapist but there’s some looks you just know.

I've been in abusive relationship followed by an abusive marriage/divorce. (I'm now healed and with a loving, healthy partner) Matt gives me major Abuser vibes. There's a lot of covert signs. I was so hoping Colleen would say no at the wedding. I really fear for what her future looks like with him.

A red flag for me was when Matt’s mom questioned whether Matt would even blindside Colleen… she knows something especially in terms of his behavior

I have to admit - while I completely understand what you're saying about not speculating about abuse without proof - I got abuse vibes from Matt hard enough to throw me into temporary flashbacks from my own abuse, (at the hands of my parents and then ex-husband). Let me start out by saying, Matt and Colleen were another couple that swapped, for me. I didn't care for her originally; she came off as shallow, admitting that she didn't want to "go deep," and mentioning the fact that "guys always go for the ballerina" over and over and OVER. I felt like she settled for him because everyone else turned her down. He started out as my favorite of the guys, in the pods. And then his anger and his running, and how brutally honest his friends were...seeing Colleen shrink and beg made me a little sick to my stomach. His anger scared me, and I found myself hoping she would let him go and he *would* leave...for her sake. But it was the reunion that sealed that feeling for me. Colleen rarely smiled; she looked miserable at times (understandably, when she was watching the pool party replay), and Matt was absolutely cold, saying things were great (and she'd nod along in agreement), but it felt...fake and forced. If you look at her eyes, there are times she actually looks terrified. For someone who was so "bubbly" in the pods...she was not that woman in the reunion. She was withdrawn, quiet, only spoke when spoken to, or to affirm what he said. She didn't even throw in with the other women to show support for those "scorned" (like everyone else was standing up for Zanab). She seemed isolated all the way across the room, alone, cut off from the group; a shell of the shallow, bubbly, but slightly self-centered girl in the pods (and the one who was so proud of herself for standing up to him during the show saying "you could lose me"). It actually made my blood run cold. You are absolutely right, I could be wrong. I could very well be misreading things, or projecting. But I recognized what I thought I was seeing, because I *was* that withdrawn, terrified, isolated girl.

The way that the love is blind team handled Matt (or lack thereof) pissed me off! Nick & Vanessa were asking the wrong things!! They need real therapist on this show. I hope she’s really okay. I’m glad they don’t live together cuz whew.

Matt is a ticking time bomb and is likely controlling due to getting cheated on. I fear for Colleen because she does not see this huge red flags. He made Cole talking to her her problem and did not believe her when she told him what happened, he has no real trust in her at all

It was was after that first fight between Matt and Colleen that I stoped watching the show. As someone who has been in an emotionally abusive relationship, I knew EXACTLY where they were headed, so I quit while I was ahead.

I'm currently in therapy school and my professor recommended your videos for us to watch. You're amazing!

When Matt leaned his head upwards while looking down at Colleen and demanding that she "just say it" was crazy on a whole new level.

DV/ IPV isn’t just physical abuse. It’s also emotional & psychological. There doesn’t need to be physical scars or bruises to be abusive.

Matt was a big ol 🚩for me. Their first fight was a huge change in his personality. He’s like a chameleon. And I didn’t like how aggressive he was being. Maybe it was my own trauma talking through the episode, but I was thinking “I’m glad there’s cameramen there”

It really caught my attention their body language in the reunion, like matt is all over her and colleen seems uncomfortable idk i hope they can see what is best for them, and if that is breaking up i hope they do it

She's one of the best therapists i've ever seen. Absolutely insightful!

I'm so glad you caught the sister's face too! I had to rewind that part when I watched it. While I wasn't a fan of Colleen because of how shallow she came across, she grew on me when she showed how sweet and loving she is with everyone.

I was so sad for Colleen when she said yes to Matt. Her facial expression (such as often smiling with her mouth but fear in her eyes) and body language read as scared when she is around him, or talking about him (examples: 19:10, 23:37).

Yes! Yes! Yes! As a therapist myself and someone who’s been in abusive relationships, he definitely showed red flags/very concerning behaviors. He was giving abuser vibes and Colleen was giving people pleasing/fawning vibes.

I literally felt like she was scared to talk at the reunion. It felt like she is a battered woman. I hope all is well ❤️.

I felt like Colleen’s fear during talking about the pool and Cole thing is that she’s terrified to be seen as a villain. I think she was petrified for the others to jump on her like they had with Cole.

Wow. That comment about their convos being about what they don’t want the other to be was 🔥

Colleen was rejected by two before getting with matt, it felt kinda desperate and i feel like she deserved better :( but the better she needs is from herself, not others. What she's looking for is inside of her

Sometimes I wonder what these connections are that they have. Cole “fell in love” with Zanab because she shared a story about losing her folks and was Christian. Brennan and A. “fell in love” over a shared love of shakshuka and family. What caused Matt and Colleen to fall in love? Where’s _that_ footage? I know they have a short time, but I’m too cynical to think any of them are actually in love when they first say it.

OMG this reaction was so detailed. I didn't even notice Colleen's sister face when she said yes.

I felt really bad for Cole at the reunion 🥺

That’s exactly what I felt. Like they were both just trauma bonded. Colleen settled to the first guy to show her “love” and Matt settled to the first girl that could “heal” him from his past heartbreak.

Could you please do Brennan and Alexa?? He seems to be a "yes" man so the video will probably be short but they look like opposites so it might be very interesting. Also the angle of them having no fights at all is fascinating

I just watched the reunion show lastnight. Colleen looked petrified when the topic of the pool scene came up about Cole and her. I thought it was very odd.

Gonna push back on the concept that DV wasn’t present. It doesn’t need to be physical. It can be verbal abuse and manipulative gaslighting type of tactics. And what was even more concerning than the 1st blow up was Matt going mental when Colleen went out with her friends and didn’t tell him. I have been in that situation where you are basically imprisoned by someone wanting to control you. And you isolate more and more because you know if you do one small thing of independence, they will get volatile and angry. I don’t think Matt beats Colleen. But I do think he has major control issues and will seek to control her more and more, and will be successful at it with his volatile outbreaks and her fear of abandonment. It’s a bad combo.

I am so happy you talked about this! I don't know why there isn't more focus on how bad this match is, she looked terrified at the reunion! I can imagine he has lots of anger issues and she has to watch her every word. Not living together is the best idea in the world. Maybe a divorce is even better. Also the evening when she went out without him...I don't remember where but there was an explanation that he was supposed to go out with them but got so drunk he forgot and didn't pick up his phone...but in any case a partner shouldn't be so controlling and threatening to leave all the time, she said that is her biggest thing - rejection. I don't know, this relationship is just one big red flag to me.

If you have time to do a video on the group dynamics between the women and Brennan punching down on Cole in the reunion, I know I’d appreciate that. It’s really bothered me for some time now, as I think its a common scenario, and really has the potential to do serious harm. From my perspective it was very much a pile on and seemed like it was based on a lot of assumption and here-say about Cole’s treatment of Zanab, and not a lot of first hand knowledge. Would love to hear how to avoid that sort of “group-think” bullying, affective ways to take in information from friends about their relationship without automatically taking sides, and how to speak up against the crowd when it seems like stories arnt aligning with truth. (Bartise did this a little, when he pushed back about Zanab’s friends and family clapping after her rejection, but it was truly shocking that NO ONE else pushed back on her narrative. There were moments where I could almost SEE Ravens wheels turning trying to marry up what Zanab was saying with what she witnessed, but at the end of the day, she just doubled down on the accusations. Of course that’s all assumptions).

Thank you for this. Matt reminds me a lot of ex partner. The time that we were together, I really wanted to be with him so I convinced myself that his over-reactions were normal, that I was indeed in the wrong. He would flare up at really minor things, like me talking to a guy friend at a party or saying that a youtuber was boring, and then the next morning it would be like nothing had happened. No real resolution, just faded away. And I didn't want to reignite it so I wouldn't bring it up. He played on my fears of abandonment. Breaking up with him is the most painful thing I've ever done, and videos like this help me remember why it was necessary, and now in a better (?) place.

His anger outburst and Colleen’s timid demeanor looks like a recipe for abuse. I hope I am wrong.

So glad this channel was recommended to me. I love being able to interpret these types of shows through a more educated lens.

Such a good point to pay attention to what friends and family are saying! They see it all, they know the person but are removed enough to have an honest opinion. Your partner may say he's very helpful around the house but if his roommate jokes about how he never cleans, that says a lot!

Domestic Violence is not limited to physical aspect. There is financial, sexual, and emotional abuse. When we see Colleen falling into herself that could be considered emotional abuse even more so when she witnessed his treatment of her when he was upset. This information is coming from someone who has worked for DV.

Brennan and Alexa gotta be next… I feel like their relationship is never discussed by anyone, which is weird to me because theirs set off a lot of alarm bells at the reunion

Whew calling me out on the all or nothing thinking I have 😯 I'm always happy to learn new terms for these things I'd like to work on 🤗 Great video!

I hope you’re doing SK and Raven, such a weird dynamic lol

I love these analyses! Can you please talk about SK & Raven’s relationship as it relates to cultural differences? That was the one outcome that really shocked me!

I am sooo looking for your breakdown on Raven and SK especially now that they've broke up do to SK having a cheating scandal.

When you see couples privately is violence the only type of abuse that is concerning? If couples are experiencing verbal, emotional, or psychological abuse would that be something a therapist would speak privately to a client over? It seemed fairly emotionally abusive that Matt would intimidate her and she would literally shrink down into herself physically to appease him. Perhaps she had experienced other type of abuse in her life that made her react that way, but her reaction was consistent during each of his outbursts. That, to me, seems like a marker of abuse, despite it not involving a scar or bruise. Furthermore, Matt completely overtook the conversations at the reunion. Colleen looked VISIBLY uncomfortable when they brought up the pool scene and barely spoke. Maybe Matt got a bad edit but regardless of that, it seems like there was a missed opportunity to shed light on red flags for partner abuse and how to get help if it is needed.

I was wondering, if he cannot handle her talking to other guys, how will he be able to tolerate other men touching her? She is a dancer, she will have dance partners and she will be close to them. I'm really really scared for Colleen and I really hope Matt is getting therapy for his issues.

I don't read a lot of the comments, so I don't know if anyone had mentioned it previously, but apart of great input on relathionships, and things to look out in our own situations I absolutely love your hair in every video! It's gorgeous

It is so interesting, that you did this in-sight. Thank you 🌻

damn I didn't notice the sister's reaction, that said it all

Thank You so much for your time with this. I know you are HELPING so many people 💞

your advice on others helps me realize things within myself too. i appreciate it ❤

Thank you for sharing your time with us. I appreciate it

You have my favorite reaction concent. Thoughtful, insightful and validating. You're helping to reinforce the work I'm doing with my therapist. Thank you girl!

It’s always good to hear a therapist’s perspective. Thank you so much!!

Very intelligent, insightful and accurate assessment of the couple! I love everything you had to say and was cheering for the points you made which others may shy away from mentioning. What an elegant lady you are. Love your sparkly eyeshadow. Thanks for your video!

YOUR ANALYSIS IS SPOT ON! You don`t miss out on any subtle details and you are very unprejudiced in your observations. Also you verbalize everything so coherently - I feel like I`m growing brain cells while listening to you. Appreciate it and subscribed!

Awesome breakdown. I’d be interested in hearing you perspective on the power dynamics of one partner always threatening to leave and the role that the other partner can play to correct that behavior without relinquishing power.

Please do all the couples!! I loved and agree with both videos and picked up on a lot of the things you said. One thing I didn’t see was zoom in on sister reaction!! That was so telling. U are amazing ty. Looking forward to the other three couples

Once again we have another hit video! Although I haven’t watched Love Is Blind, but after listening to your video my plans are to do so sometime this week. This is what I’ve learned from this video that I’ve been so guilty of. Rather than focus on my negative past or negative relationships. I am to Focus On What I Am Looking For! Be intentional with my questions and not beat around the bush. I never really cared or thought Therapist were so needed in our lives until I came across your videos. Helping clients to identify our dominant narratives was a hook, line, sinker. Your videos without ever giving it much thought helps in showing us WHY we are the way we are and why we do some of the things that we do. I am SO guilty of the Defense Mechanism of Splitting. In past relationships I was the splitting queen. I went in looking for signs to jump ship, and focusing on the negative. As you said; putting people on pedestals that never should have been put there while struggling with the fear of being rejected. I was also in toxic relationships and accepted bad behavior, because I didn’t want to go back to the dating world. I also learned a new word while watching your video: Incongruence - what you’re saying does not match your actions or thought process! Yes I’ve been in those relationships too. WHERE were you or this video 45 years ago??? It certainly would have saved me from a lot of bumps and bruises THAT’S for sure! I have definitely dealt with people and I myself have laughed when I was angry. And what’s so funny is my husband and a group of people were just talking about this 2 days ago. I said “back in the day if I laughed or cried in the middle of an argument RUN” because it was about to get real ugly! 😂😂😂. Okay I am getting to end this long novel, because I know most are not going to read it anyway 😂. But this video hit home in soooo many areas. Especially the Meeting family and friends. In my first marriage there were so many red flags 🚩 warning ⚠️ signs 🪧 that I flat out ignored, because I was blinded by so called “love”. When his own mother loved and liked me from day one, but told me that I was too good for him, and that he was going to ruin my life. His family dynamics consisted of a family of nuts, dysfunction on your left side, dysfunction on your right side, and hills and more hills! When I say that I had opportunity after opportunity, warning sign after warning sign and I STILL walked down the isle with this man! I was the more crazy one😂. My mother was against us getting married! My dad was against us getting married. You know what I did? I married him anyway! With the EXCEPTION of us having 2 wonderful children! That was the absolute nightmarish marriage, relationship, union, whatever you wanna call it. When someone says you shouldn’t be listening to NO one else advice accept your own and you say “I don’t know” YOU DO KNOW! I knew in my heart of hearts that I should have walked away at the alter or way before we got to the alter. BUT I had sent out wedding invitations, paid all this money for dresses, food, etc, etc! I love how you wrapped this video up in a nutshell! Keep Dating If Unsure! Period! Thankfully I am now going on year 7 married to the most God given man on earth. He’s more than I ever hoped or dreamed for. When I say the honeymoon has never ended please trust and believe it hasn’t. I use to feel that marriage was 50/50 or 70/30. No it’s 100/100. I give it 100 each and everyday, and he gives me 100 plus some. We simply can’t do enough for each other. Try going on a job and giving your employer 50% or 70% and see how long you last! They will replace you with someone willing to give them 💯. I look forward to waking up to him each day and hearing his car return home everyday. You get what you put in it. If you go in with a bunch of doubts and fears that’s exactly what you’re going to get out of it. Okay now let me go watch Love Is Blind to see if I see myself in either Colleen or Mat so I’ll see what areas of my life still needs improvement. That’s another thing I don’t care how perfect we think that we are! There is always room for improvement ♥️😉. Oh and to read that instructors or professors are actually instructing their students to watch your videos as an class assignment is freaking AMAZING and speaks volumes! Please keep these videos coming🎉👍🏽🎗🥇

I commented in the last video for a Matt and Colleen video and was so excited to see this! Love your analysis and looking forward to Cole and Zanab next!

I've seen some of your videos commenting on love is blind and i already want you as my therapist 😂❤ i think you're very good at what you're doing. Thanks for sharing

Such a great video! Thank you for your insights!

Very interesting analysis, it makes a lot of sense

I love your insights! I hope you do a video on all the couples! Especially Bartise and Nancy!

Absolutely LOVE this video! Please do one on Bartiste and Nancy 🙏🏼

I haven’t watched the show but I love your analysis and your energy!

I’m binging all your videos and you’re so spot on with everything

I would love to see you breaking down SK's & Raven's relationship. I think there is so much to learn from them!

Just want to say your videos are amazing and hope your channel keeps growing ❤

You're make up is so well done, you look amazing, great video.

thank you. Please do analysis for EVERY couple!❤

I found their dynamic very absurd. I think Matt was just telling Colleen what she wanted to hear in the pods. No one else seemed interested in him, he came across as very dull. I think Matt is paranoid & controlling and needed to seek a lot of therapy before getting married. Colleen comes from a background of ballet which is demanding, intense and draining and I feel this may be why she does not really react to Matt when he is being irrational. I think she has built a wall up over time and lets a lot of things fly instead of delving into them. I find it slightly odd that she doesn’t like depth in a relationship and wants to keep surface level and “positive” I’d love to know what her reason for that could be. I would have loved if you went deeper into the aquarium scene when he keeps repeating “say it” and becomes quite intimidating. Great summary overall, your videos are great.

Thank you for your take on this couple! I was hoping colleen and Matt was next. Would love to see you cover all the couples from S3!

Wow, your insights and analyses are fantastic.

not fully done with the video yet but just wanted to jump in the comments and say thank you so much for this analysis 💕🙏💕 I feel like your commentary is helping me so much with processing this show & my own issues. I've been watching a different therapy channel throughout the pandemic and lately his commentary on LiB has been seriously falling short and it's been kind of triggering in a way??? So your video is a balm on my irritated heart lol. Thank you thank you!!! 💝

This video was so thorough and I find helpful to watch for cognitive distortions in my own life. I would love if you were to look back at Nick and Danielle from Season 2. Specifically Danielle and what you may think causes her so much inner turmoil.

Can't wait for the next upload

Just found your channel and I love the love is blind videos! Can't wait for Raven and SK too see your thoughts on them.

Thank you for sharing your insight!

Watching this made me very emotional. I’ve had some mistrust issues with my partner and I see some of myself in Matt. The spiraling and the fear he was feeling of thinking he picked someone he couldn’t trust. It just sucks because all my friends and family were supporting my crazy behavior but I bet if I was a man it would be very different. I’m working on it now and things are getting better. Also Matt was looking like he could be violent which is terrifying. I hope they both got a therapist and working through their issues and I hope they are both safe. Relationships are hard asf.

This was another amazing video. I really like the depth you went into with these new Love is Blind videos. I'm glad that someone is speaking about Matt and Colleen because I feel like so many people talked about Zanab and Cole and Matt and Colleen's story kinda fell off as a result. I also felt very concerned watching them as a couple and I hope that Colleen is safe.

keep em coming!!!

Great video, I love how unbiased you are when covering these topics! However, I definitely would've loved to see a more in-depth analysis regarding the Love is Blind reunion and Colleen's behavior/body language, it seemed very concerning.

I love your breakdowns!!

Love these breakdowns!

This was an amazing and insightful analysis. New subscriber gained 🥳

I really love your videos. Your take on things is 100% spot on. There was a lot about Colleen and Matt that was very confusing to me. I think his behavior triggered a lot of things in many women. I would love it if you could watch some of their interviews and make a video. They also posted a video about where their relationship is now. A lot of people think that she still looks afraid and unhappy.

These two REALLY confused me as a couple so I so much appreciate your review, enjoyed so much and picked up some nuggets

My husband is very all or nothing. It drives me nuts because there's a sweet spot of being vulnerable and listening when it comes to being able to communicate.

Please do more couples! This was so interesting to watch! :) you gained a new subscriber☺️💕