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We just received our first placement this past three weeks. I’m over it, the youth isn’t particularly difficult but it’s the schedule and the expectation of us driving 1 hour 1/2 everyday to take them to school and then pick them up from there mma gym at 6 pm. I am 8 months pregnant and it’s just to much, we recently told our social worker it’s becoming to much and that we think they would be better in a different house that can provide proper transportation especially during summer when they choose to work and we won’t be able to transport them as much, the social worker immediately guilt tripped us and said well if that’s the only problem transportation I don’t see what the problem is. When they have not helped in anyway with transportation or even kept up with there promise about helping us. The youth doesn’t listen to me really only listens to my husband and has caused some problems between our marriage. I was in the system from birth to 18, so I understand how it feels, I just honestly think after the youth leaves I probably won’t continue fostering, it’s too much. I praise others who are kind and loving foster parents but the system is just way to hectic. And it’s been over a month and we still haven’t received any reimbursement.

I want to foster and i appreciate all of your videos. Thank you for all of the content. I feel like I am starting off with a lot of concerns though. I'm praying that i may get started soon with foster parenting and adoption.

My husband and I fostered and then adopted my nephew 14 years ago. We never had training regarding him, I think, because it was a kinship placement. However, fast forward to 2023, we started the fostering-to-adopt process and had an initial home visit/study. We got the vibe that the worker did not particularly care for my husband, and l. We are black, and she was white. After the visit was over, she sent me an email stating that if we thought the first visit was invasive, then we would need to prepare for more invasive visits. She quickly dismissed me when I had questions and proceeded to say that because I'm questioning the process, she would need to close our case and try again later. So, she closed our case, and my husband and I were left feeling confused. This was in September. My question to you is, am I able to request a different worker who culturally identifies with my husband and I, or do we just accept that we may be passed over because of the color of our skin? My apologies for the long comment.

I was in the foster care system for 6 years and aged out. I was in 8 homes - 2 of which I was moved from because of conflicts between me and my overly religious foster families over going to church and participating in religious activities It's fine to have whatever beliefs you have - but don't inflict them on your foster kids. Too many foster parents are also in it to expand their families and adopt and that's their expectation. When you are placed with them (and my mom's parental rights were terminated), they only view this as if you fit with their family and want to be adopted and if you don't, then they disrupt. Ever move is more trauma, and more damage. It took me 5 years to graduate high school due to all the moves. The other thing I think impacts foster parents is all the emphasis on attachment and fear of Reactive Attachment Disorder (which some childhood trauma experts call over-diagnosed). Trying to form bonds with foster kids is great, but when they don't, labels of attachment disorders get tossed around. When I was 15, one foster mom was freaked out that I had RAD and that was the reason I wasn't bonding - not that I was a 15 year old who really wasn't interested in hanging out with foster parents that I had absolutely nothing in common with who hated everything I was interested in. IMO, group homes with professionally trained therapists would be better than amateur foster parents - especially when the foster parents are in it to adopt and expand their families rather than help kids heal from trauma. Rookie foster parents caused far more trauma to me than my mom ever did.

This video is so right on. We took in 2 boys last July. They were being abused and neglected. The family member that had them asked if we would take them. Well we did. This has placed so much pressure and frustration on our family. They are destructive with things in our home and mean to my daughter. Also because we have the children and they are no longer being abused or neglected DCF will not do anything to help us. We were wanting to get help to either do the legal guardianship documents or possibly adopt them. But again we have no help. Do you have any advice to help us?

So if i am not a religious person I shouldn’t foster