Things like the anaphylactic shock joke help solidify that Spark is a genuine person and not an AI or speech thing. Always reassuring

I feel like coming to an adult store and seeing a ninja at the cash register would probably encourage some repeat customers.

On the other spectrum. One guy showed up for a job interview. Well. OK. But we didnt plan any. Turned out he walked in to wrong facility, but as we needed people, we hired him on spot. God, that was so funny. We called him tourist for few days :D

Story 4 it’s really good that they fired her. “You’ll see” sounds like she was going to poison allergic coworker to prove it wasn’t real. And the Story 12 girl should’ve applied for a Groomer Job.

“Coffee coffee coffee! Coffee! Not as strong as methamphetamine but you get to keep your teeth.” -Freeman’s Mind

I wasn't the one doing the firing, but she didn't even make it to the first shift. I was working at a daycare, I'd been told the new girl would be working with me for her first day, when I arrived at work, I was told she'd been fired before even showing up. Basically, since she was recomended by her aunt, a well respected employee, the boss only did the background check as a formality after hiring her. She was a convicted child abuser...

I got paid for sleeping for 6 hours at work. I was called as a standby driver at 4am. arrived ready and raring to go only to be told make yourself comfortable in the canteen. Several mugs of tea later i dozed off in the corner. was woken at 11am and sent out delivering. Got paid 15 hours. WIN WIN

The sad thing about #12 is the girl, as well as acting from POV of loving dogs, probably thought she was being "proactive, showing initiative, and being "a self starter". She'd be a great volunteer at a shelter once she learns to take direction. Also I haven't worked or applied for a job in 25+ years so I'm horrified that all the BS phrases were so memorable!

I fell asleep at work once during my lunch break. HR guy was walking through the lunch room just as it was time for me to clock back in. Though I was so out of it that I couldn't move I could actually hear what was going on around me. Someone was about to shake me awake to clock back in but the HR guy said "Nah, let her sleep." What the heck?! Weirdly I didn't get fired either. After I had heard him I struggled myself awake not too long after so I didn't get in trouble. Maybe about fifteen, twenty minutes. If I recall correctly he actually had told the manager of the department where I worked that I was sleeping and that he was allowing it. Something like that. It was a slow day at the store and our department was really slow to begin with on any given day. My whole thing was I was always completely dependable at the places where I worked. So they generally gave me leeway for certain things.

Something about the line “Violating my unwritten 11th rule, don’t try to murder people” is just such a funny line, 10/10 writing on that one

The ad for beer came up right in the middle of the alcoholic manager story. Too funny!

16:42 Without knowledge of what exactly the job in this story is, I have to point out that it is an unfortunate fact that job postings listing a weight-lifting requirement is a crapshoot as to whether or not the job actually requires it in a number of cases. The job the poster is telling us about might actually need it, but it is an unfortunate reality that a LOT of online job postings will use that type of language purely as a way to screen out disabled applicants without leaving proof of an explicit EEO/ADA/etc violation. If it's something like a warehouse/stocking job, its more likely to be legit, sure. But for office jobs? Lines like that get a MAJOR side-eye.

This is the second time I’m watching a video of yours where a woman is overtly intimately harassing, maybe even assaulting, someone and instead of saying they are vile and deserve every horrible thing, you say “they have a problem that needs to be sorted out.” I am a woman and I say this with complete conviction: *hold men and women to the same standards*

The temp angency bait and switch is hilarious.

I have a story! Worked 3rd shift at a grocery store. Was training a new hire for cashier duties when she asked how many people were there. I told her(truthfully)that usually it'll be just the cashier up front, and one or two managers and a stock person putting product up, but they were easily reachable if/when you needed something. She got this deer in headlights look on her face, and declared that she was "assured" by HR in her interview that there would ALWAYS be two cashiers, at least 4 other people stocking, and a freaking security person there for every shift. I just looked at her, and said that's not what happens. When I saw HR person in the morning, she also had no clue why that person claimed that, and she never showed up for another shift again.

Guy didn't make it out of orientation, He wouldn't shut up and refused to cooperate on a task they had set up and told us about before hand so they walked him out right there.

I was recently hired for my first job, worked 3 hours, and was fired! I didn’t do anything wrong, and I think I actually did really well and made sure to help out my coworkers. I was let go because a previous employee quit and decided to come back, taking the position back from me.

I didn't personally experience this, but I worked as an HR Assistant and noticed that a prior employee was listed as only having worked for one day. I asked my boss about it, and she said that he had passed the interview, been hired, and told to bring some proof of ID for the intake process. He arrives for his first day and reports to her without them, so she takes further pity on him (The usual process was to bring ID before being hired and she was already doing him a favor by letting him bring it on his first day) and urges him to rush home and get them. He leaves and is never seen again-being formally fired at the end of the day when it was clear he wasn't coming back. Since he reported to her before clocking in for his first day, his total time worked was 0 minutes.

Not fired, the guy quit. At the time I was working as a casual for a council and a new guy fronted up one morning. I told him what we'd be doing and he said he'd just go park his car. We never saw him again. Time on site: less than 15 minutes. Sure we'd had fellas leave after a few days before, but not even a quarter of an hour? Sheesh.

I watched a few of your videos and when you said "was that shock... anaphylactic" I hit the like button and realized I had not hit the sub yet. Fixed that! I got a story as well. Was running a register at a pharma/convenience store. My and my co-worker made eye contact and silently said "wow, is that person from corporate?" as this girl walked by. Dressed to the 9's hair done up, makeup looked amazing. Turns out, she got a professional makeup/hair person and the interviewing outfit from one of those state funded programs to help people on welfare find jobs. She was hired on the spot because of her professional presentation. 2 days later, she was fired for smoking some sort of crystal in a tinfoil pipe in the employee bathroom. Perfect example of "don't judge a book by the cover."

For the phlebotomist job- the army training for lab techs is basically two years of college in six months. We had a few people actually have to leave the room, I think one person puked. Meanwhile, half of the women I went to basic with were fighting over who got to be my partner because my veins are seriously amazing. I was even the practice dummy for blood donation, because at the time I didn't weigh enough to actually donate, but they could simulate it and end the blood collection after like, ten seconds. I actually have a scar because it happened several times, even got a coin for it. I've also drawn my own blood (butterfly needle and tape makes it so easy) but as a kid, I was terrified of getting shots, didn't care about my blood being drawn though.

Story 4 I feel like if someone like that was hired at a restaurant they and the restaurant would be sued for murder or attempted murder if the person is okay in the end especially if cc cameras are involved

I got fired *before* my first day. But I *did* get to go to the Xmas party. I was hired to start on Monday, but the boss was told to let everyone go on Monday as they were closing the office. I was asked to go to the Xmas party so nobody got suspicious. Strangest and most uncomfortable thing ever.

I guess crashing a forklift on a container full of fish and brine is definitely a way to keep you awake

Stuck sick in bed today. Thanks for the content, this is my favorite category of stories!

Stealing from a nonprofit or charity organization has to be one of the most evil petty crimes. I would understand stealing from a giant supermarket if you need food that badly, but come on man…

I watched a girl get fired because she fell asleep during orientation. She kept complaining she was sooooooo tired, but the boss didnt care. Lol

19:03 It's illegal to withhold a worker's pay for breaking equipment. If they did it maliciously you can fire them and sue them, but you can't refuse to pay them. You hired someone with no training and let them work with no supervision, the resulting damages are the fault of management, not the employee.

I've been severely allergic to milk my whole 29 years of life. Classmates always thought i was lying for special attention. Little did they know the special attention was getting to eat some "especially" stale cookies my mom gave to the teacher, whenever the kids had a special treat for birthdays.. kids are assholes. Thanks for making us feel included with the story!

Not the manager, but another new worker who started at the same company. The woman was claiming to have studied mathematics and IT. She told them in the interview that she'd be speaking frensh, italien, english, romanian and spanish and german (obviously as I live in germany). And she also said that she was having a lot of experience in production planning and a job in supply chain would be no problem for her. I was interviewing at the same time as her and thought "OK, that is kind of cocky to say" and "omg, I hopw I don't look stupid by not showing that kind of selfesteem myself" When we started working, it took 30 minutes, before the head of production wanted to talk to me. He asked if I minded to do the production planning job instead ot the sales backoffice job I was applying for - the woman turned out to not being able to open Excel, was not understanding a introduction by our frensh head of european production and instead just looked at him dumbfounded before she basically ran out of the building crying. The next day she called in sick due to a nervous breakdown because all of that work was too much for her. They then tried to reach out to her, but she didn't react to anything, so they ended up firing her in order to do so while she was still on probation time. And in case somebody wonders, the job in production planning was not particularly hard. I did that job for 3 years with little to no prior experience and did well enogh just with some basic frensh and decent to good english and IT user skills.

Didn't fire her but i worked in a bakery/deli in a grocery store. We had a new girl 20 years old i think start. We asked her to make sandwiches for the deli case. We already had all the stuff for the sandwiches ready on a table for her. She said she couldn't make sandwiches because she had never made or eaten one in her life. I said bulls*** to her. Her excuse was that she was a army brat(her words). My grandpa was military and my dad and his siblings could make sandwiches as soon as they could grab the bread. She didn't last 1 hour.

I used to work at the dump. They hired a guy who meandered around for a few hours, and after someone told him to go clean up the electronics drop off, he's like "oh I can't, I have a bad back". Like bro, that's literally your only responsibility

5:30 quite the understatement. If this newhire were a man, he would get immediately rehired as a full time prisoner in the local jail. It's way more than disruptive, this is literally a collection of sexual assault stories

Not the one who did the firing, in fact, this story is actually about how I got hired! Applied for a job at the front desk of the local art museum, got called the next day, had my interview a day or two later. Manager seemed to like me, but I unfortunately got a call a couple days later saying I was passed over. Sad, but expected. Literally *the next day* I got a call saying "Hey, we might need you to cover a couple days here and there, still interested?" Long story short, the new hire was wanting essentially the *entire* month off immediately after being hired, and I was working just under full time (part-time position) in under a week. Still have the job, and it's *amazing*. Edit: Evidently, the reason they were hired instead of me in the first place was because they were bilingual (english/spanish). I've never had someone come in who could only speak Spanish. In fact, the closest I've gotten was an older couple (with an English-speaking friend) who could only speak French. Which was the only language that I was and still am in the process of learning.

Most belt sanders are completely capable of sanding steel, but you'll want to change your belts out more often, and probably for a finer grit if you've got something super coarse on to hog out wood. One of the few tools that will work on wood and steel. Sparks are normal and harmless. The idea that a seasoned set designer would not know this, and would insist the belt sander needs replacing, is baffling to me. If anything the kid wore out a single sanding belt, $10 at most.

"Let me go make some coffee." *SNORT* IM UP.

Story 7. I was not expecting the Phlebotomist reveal. I was expecting like.. janitorial work or something where you'd go in like "I though I'd just be hauling trash and sweeping and stuff, not needing to walk into a bathroom and scrub mostly liquified shit off the walls because someone had a mental breakdown on the crapper."

15 minutes! I worked at a pizza shop and went for cigarettes and came back and my crazy @zz GM hired two 12 year olds! He said, don't worry, I put them in the system as being sixteen years old. I paid them each 20 bucks cash from the till, and said NEVER SPEAK ABOUT THIS EVER! 😮😂

Story #3 - she was trying it on, hoping you would do her work

Fired a newly graduated trainee chef on day 1 when he dumped chicken blood into a bowl of 30 beaten eggs by being careless. He also didn't know how to fry an egg, nevermind work in a fine dining establishment.

Story 24, they legit hired Ninja Rick.

19:00 Knifemaking and bladesmithing in general also uses belt sanders for shaping and profiling the blades both before and after hardening them. Though you do have to make sure it's rated for steel... Just saying that's an easy mistake to make.

When I was a cook they hired a new guy. He was to start the next day. Next day he calls the manager and says he will he about 2 hours late. Manager just said, no thanks. You're fired. I asked manager why, he said if he couldn't be on time on his first day, he has larger problems.

Justice for adult store ninja!

In a restaurant we had a new cook. After he saw that his coworker in the kitchen was female he said : I don’t take orders from women. He was instantly fired on the spot

Had a guy that called in from jail on his second day of work. He said that he wouldn't be able to make it for a couple of weeks since he was locked up for beating up his girl (which he fully admitted to doing) but if we wouldn't mind holding onto his job for him til he made bail since it wasn't his fault that he couldn't come in. The boss disagreed and told him that he had made a choice that had affected his ability to come in and that we would no longer be needing his services.

Another daycare story. My job hires a lot of college girls who don't always have experience with younger children. One new girl was placed in Toddlers (1.5- 2 y/o class) on her first day. It was a 3 hour trial shift to see how she was with the kids. She was there maybe 1 hour when she scolded the kids for not cleaning up from coloring fast enough and THREW OUT THEIR DRAWINGS. Don't know if she did it to punish them or thought it didn't matter bc they were "just scribbling." My boss let her know it wasn't going to work out after her 3 hours were up

Years ago, one of my employees had a granddaughter that was in a pretty rough place in life, but would come around to help her grandmother at work frequently. As she was familiar with the kind of work we did and needed work, I offered her a job. She declined several times, until eventually she wound up pregnant and could no longer put off actual employment. She proceeded to call the regional director during her first week falsely accused several of her coworkers as well as me, her boss, of not doing any work. I found out about this the next day, and called the director to make sure I could fire her for this, but I didn't have to as she never showed up for work again. Turns out she had rolled her truck over, driving in to work drunk. Turns out many people are in a bad place in life for self inflicted reasons.

I once lasted a day at a job! I got hired at a fast food chain restaurant at 17. The manager texted me to tell me my first day. I finished work and asked what my second day was. They told me they hadn't finished the schedule yet but theyd send it out on Sunday. Sunday comes and nobody tells me. I texted the manager like 3 times over the next few days to no response. Eventually he texts me back and says "you can't just show up to work when you feel like it so i took you off the schedule". Classic fast food antics. To this day I'm not sure what happened, but I'm pretty sure someone just forgot to message me and threw me under the bus.

Years ago I worked with 3 people at an amusement park. We worked in the arcade/games department and were setting up the redemption prize center in the arcade. One of guys was bragging saying “watch I bet you by the end of the season I will be a team leader”. Few days later he was fired for trying to steal a MP3 player. This was before the park was ready to open for the season

My maintenance manager was training a new hire. Maintenance includes a lot of custodian work at my job. He was showing the new guy how to clean the outside of the drive-thru windows. After he cleaned the first window, he asked the newbie to clean the next one. The newbie told him he wasn't going to do it and if my manager had a problem with it, he would tell a bigger boss that the manager touched him inappropriately. Got fired on the spot.

Wth is a hanging addict? 5:03 like these alternatives for "bad" words are getting so obscure it's indecipherable

I wasn't the manager, but i was the cashier on shift when a new hire was fired before even clocking in. She came from a family whose surname was synonymous with abuse in our small town. Spousal abuse, child abuse, substance abuse, probably animal abuse. She was dropped off by her husband, while wearing company merch, and the two were engaged in a screaming match i could hear from inside. My boss was out there at the time and walked over to her. Meanwhile, customers were coming and going seeing the whole fiasco. My boss has to bring her into the office tell her in no uncertain terms that this was unprofessional behavior and it couldn't be permitted on company property. Thats the first time I had met one of that family in person. I feared for their young kids.

I had a dude that was falling asleep during the introduction on the first day We are financial advisors.

I love this channel. Super great for background noise.

They weren't my workers, but it's the shortest in my time. The person was hired to be an unloader(we were looking for someone and sounded like a good fit). His first day, the forklift operator is out. (I was running it when the truck came with my supplies. (New guy helped me unload boxes and sort the rest of the stuff for me) he shakes my hand and says "Its a pleasure to have you as my manager ". I told him I'm not his manager but they should be in soon. (LAter hear a loud swearing and yelling). Comes to my work shop asked me, "Why didn't you say my manager was a female ,I don't want to work for some woman, They can't control their emotions". Than said "Fine can you wire those pumps and find the leak in the hoses later'. (He gets confused lost look). That's what I thought. Find him later in the break room smoking a cigarette watching TV and drinking a Mountain Dew. (He was fired after 6 hours on the job.)

i've been watching your channel recently and i think i'm addicted

The awkward self awareness at 20:12 is hilarious

My brother got his first job in college. His professor ran some kind of side business that had something to do with computers. The professor’s wife was the manager of the department where my brother worked. He made some error on his first day and the wife was chewing him out. She said, “A kindergartener could have followed my instructions.” My brother replied, “You should have hired one. You could have paid him in lollipops.” He was BAFFLED that she fired him. His next job was in programming after he graduated and he now makes six figures.

First 10 minutes. I was kitchen manager at a brewery, and the new guy says to me right after the interview and being hired... he can't work Saturdays and Sundays cus he likes to party and will have to call off if I schedule him cus he will still be drunk or too hung over. And then another time, I had a guy for about 5 hours who didn't know the difference between a red and a yellow onion, and the owner caught him smoking a blunt by the dumpster twice in the 5 hours he was there. We don't even care about pot, its Michigan and there are plenty of cooks who can smoke and still rock their job. But the only 2 times the owner ever saw this guy, he was behind the dumpster getting stoned.... and he didn't know the red onions are the red onions. 😂

Phlebotomist here: Just wanting to say that if you want to get into phlebotomy, great! You should consider taking a certification course! It’s not a very hard job to do but working any job in healthcare is gonna be different than anywhere else. Even if you aren’t squeamish about blood, you might have a hard time with needles, or have a hard time causing pain to another person. Taking a certification only takes a couple months and is a good way of knowing if it’s the right position for you 👍

How did the chick in Story 3 *not* know that changing diapers was part of the job? Glad she was fired, though. Hope OP was able to find a more suitable person to replace the idiot.

Fasted I've ever seen was less than a day. I wasn't a manager, though. It was at a restaurant and this new girl was hired to be a waitress. She shadowed one of the older waitresses in the morning, and in the afternoon after the lunch rush calmed down she was to take her own tables. HER VERY FIRST TABLE, she cussed out the customer and got into a fight with them. I mean, I think we've all wanted to do that, but she actually did it! The manager ran over, fired her, and offered the customer the meal for free.

i have a story like this, there was a short period of time i worked at a warehouse and so another new hire and I were waiting for management to train us, and right before we got trained, the lady in management told us earbuds and headphones are prohibited for safety reasons (forklifts). immediately the other person i was with apologized for wasting the company's time and explained that she needs music to work and wouldn't function without her earbuds... still get a kick outta thinkin' about it.

1:50 Story 3 reminds me of Mrs Doubtfire where the lady they're interviewing is just listing all the things she won't do as a housekeeper(basically she intended on doing nothing) 24:10 Last Story: i was worried it was gonna turn out the guy had narcolepsy.

When I worked as bill collector, one lady made it through a few days of training, She constantly asked the managers/trainers about getting paid, when do we get paid, do we get paid for the whole time of training....plus she was very openly discussing her boyfriend's and her volatile relationship and discussed why she didn't have custody of her oldest child. So when one of the directors came in to supervise and watch our progress, she again asked him about payday, in front of the trainers and was let go promptly after that, LOL

Not a firing, but I’ve had a chef show a new hire around the kitchen and introduce himself to everyone only to say “I just gotta grab something from my car real quick”, go out, and never come back🤣

I interviewed someone for an entry level job at the cinema. Nice CV, good references, answered all the questions well. - My manager decided to offer him the job, shook hands, told him to come back the next day to start training. As I opened the door to see him out, we see a colleague coming up the stairs, the new guy says " do you have a lot of racial slurs working here then ?" - Fired on the spot.

I was a shift manager at a retail store a few years ago. We had a cashier there for her first shift after being hired. I had let her know that I would be able to let her take her lunch break as soon as I finished what I was working on towards the back and left her alone for a bit. About 15-20 minutes later a customer came to find me and asked to check out and I couldn't find her anywhere in the store. Once I got the line of customers finished I checked the camera, she had just walked out with no explanation, didn't steal anything, just left. I don't think we even had to fire her, pretty sure we couldn't get in touch with her. I didn't have anything to do with hiring an foring though.

I’m a middle/high school student with no official job, I think the fastest someone’s ever gotten in trouble is second period on the first day

I’ve worked retail and fast food so there have been plenty of very short stints for new hires, none of which I even remember. But I worked an office job where we hired a new salesman. After a little over a week, I find out that he was fired. Turns out he asked the boss for an advance on his (first) paycheck and when he got it, he never came back to work 😂

All of 4 minutes, he met me at home depot went in to get a couple things and he got caught stealing within 4 minutes we were in the store. Then he started begging me to bail him out, and he would come live with me till he paid me back. I gave him 20$ and told him good luck.

Oh lord. I commented on another vid about this kind of content being relevant since I just started a new job and I know I should refrain from watching bc anxiety but dammit the timing is perfect. Just got off shift an hour or two ago lmao. How could I resist comedic timing?

What makes some people think it's okay to steal stuff on their first day at work? Especially when you're IN FRONT of their boss.

Man, if I were the store owner, seeing a new hire doing full ninja getup would be hilarious

Lmaoooo i used to work at a plasma center and i saw a couple people come and go that couldnt handle blood. It was like, "what? Did you not understand that this whole facility is for processing blood?"

The guy who took the pokemon cards was so close to a felony, imagine getting a felony from pokemon cards lmao

The last guy probably should have slept some more before he tried driving that forklift - assuming he even had a licence, which he probably didn't.

Story about the kid getting fired is smart You can claim unemployment insurance. Idk if he would qualify in this story but alway take the pink slip.

I was manager in a truck stop kitchen for 3 months before I quit, I was there 2 years. New kid claimed he had restaraunt experience, so I told him how to change the fryers. He used a 5 gallon bucket instead of the catch we have spilling hot fryer oil everywhere and the fryer almost caught fire bc he didn't turn it off. An hour am a half after he clocked in I sent him home

2:55 Eyyy 💀

Speedrun WR Get-Fired Challenge Any%

3 days, didn’t even get pass training. They had a really shitty attitude, and insisted that they already knew how to do everything cause they worked before. We worked in a sushi restaurant, they worked at a fast food place before….

I know I had a guy show up to the same orientation as me.... 5 hours late. And he was not there the next day.

Not a manager but watched mine fire someone right in tje middle of his interview. He, the interviewee, was insane.

Story 2: Heroin affects the hypothalamus so an overdosing addict will feel really hot. That's why he was naked.

Tangentially related but I quit working reception at a doctors office in the first week because the receptionists gossiped about the patients medical histories.

Worked a place where a guy on his first day made an anti-Semitic joke. Our boss was Jewish.

5 hours. Hired by the daughter, fired by the father cause daughter didnt consult with him before hiring me.

I have a friend who has been a phlebotomist for a few years at this point, and he hates blood with a passion. I've never entirely understood the fear, as it is, let alone why he still works as a phleb.

Story 12 made me a little sad. Girl had great intentions but absolutely no clue about doing good at a job.

Remember that Daniel tosh joke about 10% of people not being able to work these are the 10% and now we know why

I feel bad for the guy in the ninja costume, he was just trying to fit in and make a good impression with his coworkers, only to get fired in less than a week

THE NINJA SHOULD HAVE KEPT HIS JOB

Anaphylaxis is nothing to joke about. I worked at an outpatient surgical center. One of our anesthesiologists has a severe seafood allergy. We ordered Chinese one day and explained about the allergy and be super careful with his meal. 4 bites in, he starts wheezing and grabbing his throat. Turns out some dufus had a couple pieces of shrimp accidentally mixed in despite our warning. Fortunately we keep a fully stocked emergency cart and the nurses were able to get IV lines in and rapidly pushed some epinephrine and diphenhydramine while waiting for the ambulance. He did okay because he happened to be right where he could get help. Called the restaurant back after and chewed them out and reported them to the state. I think they didn’t believe us when we told them to be careful. They were shocked when we told them they almost killed a doctor. And our cases were delayed because we had to get a replacement anesthesiologist since the CRNAs aren’t allowed to function without the anesthesiologist in the building.

Aphrodite forbid for leaving xxxx

Peanut allergies are sooooo ducking real. Like I have an epi pen.

When I was a manager in overnight food plant sanitation, fired a guy in 90 minutes. We got a shit load of newbies everyday, it was temp agency gig where I got hired up to the actual company. Anyway, this guy comes in and doesn’t make any real impression, he was a face in a crowd of new people. A sign to one of the factory rooms, these rooms are about the size of half a football field. And I move on, well inside an hour I’m looking at my paperwork and realize that room is closed for maintenance for a week, no cleaning is necessary. Go to assignment to a new room, he flips out and brandishes a knife even holding it to me for a second or so. Needless to say he fired on the spot and escorted out by police. Technically we had people quit faster than that, but never get fired in less two hours.

Story 8. Where are the women like this!? I need one in my life!

Anaphylactic. 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 terrible joke I love it.