Dealing with a disrespectful employee is SO challenging! I remember how tense and nervous I was as a new manager when I had an employee who was constantly pushing back on my decisions and thought he knew better. How about you? What's been your experience, and what tips do you have for us in how to manage this situation?

I was told to lock eyes with people, and let them know my displeasure through body language first. Some people understand body language better than verbal reprimand. So people collapse under direct pressure 🤔

Its 2023 and I have just found your channel. New Subscriber here. This episode was exactly what I needed after a lot of KZfaq searching. I am a new Team Leader of 10 months and am facing the challenge of a disrespectful team member. I was pretty shocked and disappointed to discover there are people like this! I went to have a quiet conversation with them about a matter, and they simply said "am I bad... moving forward I will be aware of this" which gave no further room to discuss because I would be perceived to labour the point rather than 'moving forward'. I definitely have lots to learn!

Great video! Unfortunately, in my experience as an employee of 25 years, I have found that at least in IT, people getting promoted into management have no people skills, bad communication, and are easily threaten by good employees.

What if your upper management does not support you disciplining the employee who is disrespectful and undermining you

Can you go over a gaslighting employee in more detail in another video? You just made me realize that is why im having such a hard time with this particular employee. Thank you.

You have to be willing to let people go when they become a problem for the company or they no longer fit - you will find more people who have a fresh passion and this can breathe new life into your business with new ideas and new energy. You can continue to hold staff with a deteriorating attitude accountable for everything. If they feel like you are seeing everything - they will either step up or step out. Instead of telling them what needs to happen and why it needs to happen. You need to refer them to the SOP. If you don't have it in SOP form, then you can't hold them accountable to your policy.

With years of hr experience, when you hired employees, they are the best people you can find. Why would they turned against you? These kind of employers never think of what they did, hurting employees' mentally and physically. Respect is 2 way streets. Don't deny or ignore these kind of situation. Most likely is employer's lack of understanding and communication

Easier than dealing with a disrespectful boss calling you at night, asking for calling you during weekend, calling you during your holidays, screaming in your ears, hailing you and so on...

I am an easy supervisor whom my team is used to walking all over to the point where once in a 'blue moon ' when my buttons are pushed and I open my mouth although in the most professional calm way ...I am the bad girl against my team... cornered etc. Upper management has no back bone tells me to compromise... regardless, Grace's feedback is like medicine 👍

OMG I love you, I've struggled with managing people for a while.. I focused on managing tasks only and literally I faced all the points you discussed to the point that I left the job all together Much thanks to you and please continue with this rare great content

This sounds like power struggling. How about treating the employee like a person. Seeing if there is a way to come to common ground. Also, what about the supervisor that spins situations into something they are not or perhaps the supervisor is not a good supervisor? In other words abuse of the power dynamics

Very informative! I have a direct report that has made several outburst about her displeasure either with the team or myself. The behavior has become more frequent since her spouse was promoted to CFO… There was an “incident” yesterday, that made 3 of my employees upset and a manager called me to inform about the outburst because she was on the phone with one of our direct reports and heard the outburst over the phone. I need to speak with her tomorrow. This video was helpful. Thank you.

I *love* the "no" technique. Thank you!

Absolutely wonderful video full of knowledge. I needed to hear this. I am a new GM and my floor manager has been gaslighting me to the max. This video is very helpful. Thank you!

Thank you for the video. I am a very green manager and it is a different ballgame to being a team member.

I'm learning now a lot of it is just childish office politics and posturing. Every environment/office is different. Sometimes you have to step out of your comfort zone, can't always be too nice and you have to push a "little" bit. people will project their insecurities about their performance on you so it seems like you're underperforming. people will shift blame to you. they'll do all those things and more if you "let" them. once you've made your point, then just let the chips fall where they may. in a perfect world, your manager and higher ups stick up for your team so then you don't have to worry. Those managers are the best.

Eliminating feelings and setting expectations is a great tip that I keep getting. How do I reign this behavior in. Do I tame the horse, or break it. Nice with a hand of sugar to help them understand their role, or crack the whip to spread fear. I don't want enemies, I want trust.

Saying something like "am i crazy to ..." just seems to be inviting the subordinate to answer in the affirmative.

Thank you for sharing your experience & perspective. I’m dealing with a touchy issue right now and this video was really helpful.

Thank you for the book recommendation. Sometimes when I start documenting things like you mentioned I have that thought "wow am I crazy to be doing this?" It's tough dealing with narcissist types. Brian Tracy states the best time to fire someone is when you first have the thought because it truly never really gets better. That is a paraphrase and please don't take my words for his. But I believe the sentiment is true, though it's not always the case that we have the ability to terminate someone without higher up approval etc

Just stumbled across you and your videos. You are incredible!

I wish I would have found this video sooner. However I feel more prepared than I did before.

Grace - wild - I just stumbled upon your video - been years since we have connected - nice to see you here!

Private meetings are a huge challenge because they cannot be recorded. Essentially a nasty employee can practically go off on the Manager. All the Manager can do is document and inform its not appropriate to be disrespectful. These scenarios are irritating because the Manager is very limited in how they can protect their emotional health. A crafty disrespectful employee will deny any disrespectful behavior. I don’t see how the “no-oriented” question works when they actually say “yes”.

I’m a new manager and I have two very similar people on my team who do not want to be bothered by me. If I give one an assignment, she says I’m targeting her. If I give the other an assignment, she says I’m micromanaging her. One goes around me to my boss..l the other one goes around me to my peer. It’s very disheartening by all four parties allowing it.

Great video - keep up the good work !

Great advice!

Very very useful recommendations. Thank you very much.

Excellent.

This was great! im a new manager, and conflict in this dynamic is a difficult terrain for me. This helped :)

I'm trying to be a better person, especially because he's bigger. The problem is i think he knows that and is pushing buttons.

Great video and awesome tips .

Appreciate the reminder of the 'paradoxical' tactic that allows P/A actor to say no. Also agree that saying 'I feel like..." isn't useful for most of these feedback conversations, especially since 'I feel like...' is a thought, not an expression of a feeling.

LOVED IT

thank you

I live in my mum's farm and we have a young man helping us around. I've always been shy to order them around because I already knew they were jelous of me as the daughter of the farm owner and I didn't want to make them feel uncomfortable. I would avoid asking them to do anything... Until recently. I just got tired of pushing myself to a corner when it doesn't make them like you any more and makes it harder for them to listen to you when you have no choice but to ask them to do something. (It's an extremely tense dynamic, the one working for us was in hospital the other day and lied to the doctor that my mum is his mum as he handed over tyhe phone so my mum could talk to the doctor. So you can imagine all the passive aggressive resentment) I try to treat them with respect but I just got tired of tiptoeing because they will resentyou whether you take up your position as second in command or not. So I took it... Recently, there was a sick lamb. I told him how to take care of it but he fefied my orders and did his own things... The lamb died. The worst thing is that my mother doesn't stand up to his disrespect or make him feel like he did something wrong and actually admonishes me when I tell him that he's done something wrng. (She says I'm attacking him and I should stop attacking people) It's a very hard situationbecause I live here(can't wait to move out) and I feel like people are not respecting me. And I know, being the person that he is, that making him say "no" will not change how he feels about me. It will just make him resent me even more and with no one to run to, I'll just be in a worse situation until I move out

sorry but am I the only one cannot get sound from this great video (the rest are ok from Grace's channel), thanks.

Good advice

If you hired an expert, consider their expertise before demanding obedience from them. What good is an expert, if they can be managed into doing things that an expert should not do? Consider a pilot that takes exclusive direction from a non-pilot. This would invite disaster, the tenets of their profession are of higher priority than management or even continued employment itself.

Hey I am up for a store manager Position and another coworkers up for the same she’s constantly confliction like and fighting and coming after me and I pushed back and got in trouble I didn’t push back and I got in trouble what can I do to help myself

Thank you for the advice! I will be implementing these skills/tips into my leadership style. Subscribed!

Some people need to work their own way, I feel depressed if I have a boss

There's a work colleague at work always undermines my work she nitpick stuff very uncomfortable to work with she blanks me when I try to speak to her. Hate going into. Work when she's on shift with. Me

How can it be disrespectful if an employee blows up silently, I did this many years ago, after years of work abuse. Literally the tasks were overbearing, I was making 12 dollars an hour at the time, working 8-5, and all of a sudden I just blew my cool and wrote some diragatory message on my work situation. The owners were banking millions every year, yet they couldn't pay a hardworking employee over 24k a year?!! I didn't even have benefits at the time too, so it was like, you treating me like garbage yet you have something bad to say about a comment I posted on a social site. I'm still not sorry, cause if I was, i'd be living good, instead of owners retired and on the golf courses.

What about disrespectful employers, I've had so many of them, they steel my time, my skills, they prey on my integrity, my willingness to help, my compassion. I've experienced a load of gaslighting from incompetent employers. And I'm talkiing about big companies thousands of staff. I fortunately documented my experiences with the last employer, and after they last tried to gaslight me and very abusively, I broke, had a serious breakdown, I tried to claim workcover, but they were corrupt, you will be thinking, "this guy is an idiot, he's the problem", well, I submitted my evidence to workcover, and they handed my evidence to the employer, the employer had ample time to make up stories to protect themselves. The idea of giving the employer my evidence is appalling, the workcover investigators should take my evidence and examine the claims by questioning people etc, NOT by giving them a free-for-all with my evidence, absolute scum. Anyway, the HR director was pissed, he stated in a response to my evidence "You are implying we are incompetent, I should sue you"... I didn't imply anything, I provided a diarised account of events and comments, he concluded it implies they are incompetent. Absolute scum employers. Oh by the way, my evidence did cause upheaval within the company, only because they were caught out due to my impeccable record keeping as well as impeccable record as a compassionate person with absolute integrity, absolute integrity means you cannot tell me to lie, you cannot threaten me, you cannot scare me at all, because that is true integrity, do the right thing because it is the right thing, not because someone pays you to do it, or not do it. That was just one scumbag employer, there have been several, so stop thinking you are not likely to be scumbags too.

What about when an employee WANTS to get fired (so they can collect unemployment) so they purposely are rude, hostile and disrespectful?

I have one employee who os so mild tempered and quite and responsiblle and am really happy with him. Before i fired a guy for the reason that he was so emotionally unstable for ising cocain. I my self when i was an employee i beeb good and bad. But when i been desrespectfull it was porpusefully. Like when i was getting bully by a forman and i asked for a report to be filled about it and the manager didnt doit and did talk to him and nobody talk to me about it. I was just being a asshole porpusefully to feel better my self. I was really imature back then.

Give me a break. It’s not always the employee that’s the problem. Shitty management is a major issue

Add more parts saying If you have a disrespectful employee hit that like button Or if you ever had a situation give me a like so i know you get me ...your information good is good you'll get more traffic and activity if you engage more Ex. Share this video if your going to document and stop allowing the passive aggressive energy affect your workplace anymore...good luck

Matrix at it's best. How do you manage too many managers?

My “management” has these bad behaviors. My cliquey peers just stare at me and speak little. I am toxic or negative for asking questions but they are brilliant in their toxic positivity. It’s like they will not allow anyone except the clique to get to a vested state.

Bad microphone. Sorry, I will find a better route to this information

This video had about 2 minutes of real content and the first 5 minutes is a waste of time.

After being forced to participate in experimental medical procedures nothing you say is going to change my anger and disengagement towards the employer forever and ever and ever. No discussion is ever going to change anything.