Regarding point #4 - I'd say it can also be quite the opposite at times. Because they aren't used to being thanked, cared for & cherised, they will reject gentleness & validation when you try giving it to them - because they aren't used to it, don't know what to do with it or think you are trying to play them. I got these exact words from a guy recently: "You're too validating" (when I was just being me & said usual things I say when I care for someone (man or woman) and notice their uniquiness and goodness they bring into this world.

Thank you for this. I am a woman and a psychiatrist with a deep interest in marriage. I agree wholeheartedly with you and am trying to get women to see how men experience the world.

Another message men receive on the regular….A man’s presence is not needed but his resources are.

Haven’t had a close friend since middle school and I’m 20, just graduated college. I have my parents but it’s a different kind of relationship. So I deal with most of life’s challenges internally. Making music is my best outlet for navigating my life at the moment. It’s nice to have a hobby but I’ve felt deprived of connection for a long time. Every day is just work and the gym.

I would add the difference in concepts/ experience around physical intimacy. Many men go weeks and months, even years at a time, without so much as a hug

Man.. I feel like you rapid-fired my soul. Thanks for the video too, it feels good hearing different things like that.

I’m fully onboard with what Connor is saying here. The ideological polemics of the ‘Culture War’ in the US & Canada are totally out of control and they have ruined and stressed out so many good friendships. The lack of intellectual maturity that our leadership often demonstrates through puerile name calling and bombastic ad hominem attacks, does little to set an example or tone for civility and trust. If you feel you can’t trust your neighbor, then it’s extremely hard to reach out in friendship to that neighbor. Being more epistemologically contingent and flexible, is one way to bridge the gap and build that trust. Jettisoning stereotypes & assumptions are integral to this process where ‘Pejorative Association Fallacy’ is the standard norm; i.e. - “All white hetero males are….” “All lesbian women are…..”

I felt very validated watching this video because it speaks about the male experience which isn't talked enough about. Infact it feels like no one really is speaking about it or caring.

Most definitely! Being a man in our society make you feel like a machine that purpose is to output without thanks when you do well … and be looked down upon if you fall short in any way… so you succeed and it’s like “oh there is a person fulfilling the obligation of their existence no need to say anything he is just doing the minimum to have value to us” and then if you fall short in any of these metrics “there goes that deadbeat who can’t get his shit together” that is why men don’t tell people they will commit suicide they just do it if they feel like a failure. That’s why we are here to sing and dance… never get too mad and most definitely do not show vulnerability because that’s when your woman will leave you and that’s when society will laugh and Shame you. The messed up thing is we live in an economic system that intentionally has at least 50% losers… if people are lot desperate enough to keep doing shit jobs the whole economy melts down and then we don’t thank those people instead we mock them and elude them as examples of failure

Thank you for this video, Connor.

thank you for being inspiring motivational and challenging❤

Feeling validated in a way I've never been. Thank you.

Thank you for enlightening me I have a baby brother and he recently married has two kids all within a three year period of us losing our father. I had no idea how isolated men felt. I love my brother dearly and obviously for me and my dating and personal life found this video to be very helpful thank you very much!

Spitting facts!!!

Interesting take on a man’s relationship with his own dominance

Real talk.

As a woman, the last four are what I always experienced my entire working life in an office.

this was a surprisingly informative and truthful experience. hopefully we can reach more new people

Thank you for this. I have been struggling to find the right source for this type of material. Can you recommend any reading materials?

So true all this.

May God guide men and women. We need better role models. May God keep you helping. I think this is very balanced and accurate. Extra: you could read how the Prophet Muhamad behave. He was very masculine and still very sweet to their family and friends. (I am not talking about all muslim men)

1000%

Did you or do you live in Seattle? I swear you look so familiar and may have been a customer of mine 😂

Being in the relationship rabbit hole of the internet, the question isn't so much about what should women understand about men But rather are women *WILLING* to put an effort to try and understand men? Because from what I've seen, women couldn't give two hoots about men. It's all about them, them, and them. If we can't even solve that, there's nothing to be learned to begin with 😔

None of these are limited to men. At least men get paid for their services and women are expected to perform them for free.

Timestamps bro

You lost me at validation. Thinking that women are used to validation is blindness except if you speak of getting attention from men which is confirming we are actually NOT used to validation as people. I also believe that because men give a lot of attention to the women they find attractive, they consider other women non people and they don’t count them in these “statistics” - I don’t know where you get data on the amount of received validation and if it’s self reported there’s a bias where the ones that are most used to it have a lower threshold for frustration. Usually you have good points but this really makes me wonder how old you are, where you worked at all your life before this project and what families you know where boys receive less validation. It exists but in my experience with different cultures it’s an exception.

It seems really hopeless. I’m doing my best to be a better man but SHE doesn’t care. There is absolutely NO accountability.

Men don't go around seeking validation

What men do not understand is that women want TOTAL EXCLUSIVITY IN ALL AREAS ……AFFAIRS OF ANY KIND ARE MAKING WOMEN RESENTFUL AND END UP IN DIVORCE .

You quote Einstein, but not the one who created him. Man”s knowledge doesn’t equate to GOD’s wisdom. Tired of people trusting in SELF and your own ideas/understanding, rather than acknowledging the one who is all-knowing.

Even if you find one , you'll still feel void after few months. I am 44 now and single .The only perfect partner to my soul is the Holy Spirit who's with my soul until Jesus Christ bails me out of this body ( prison) and to be in the Kingdom of Father for eternity. With the Help of Holy Spirit I give a damn about the desires of my body ( flesh ) . I am already enjoying heaven. Trust me.

It is silly that anyone would have a need to be praised and thanked. It is completely narcissistic. This video is absurd.

i was shared this episode by a gf, who was shared this by her bf. ok.....i am a woman. and as a woman i found this pretty laughable. 1 - agree men don't have as many close friends. my question is.... why? i would really like to understand that if a man needs close connection with other males (which i think totally makes sense and needed) .... but why suffer in silence. and not seek out those relationships they need. talk about the things you need to talk about as a man. 4 - Sorry i found this wholely offensive. Men are mostly leading thankless lives. Please, please say this to any woman, especially one that is a mother. THAT is a thankless experience. "A lot of men live thankless lives.....so need to go to a prostitute for validation?" I'm sorry, I just can't. And the endless stats of men in labor jobs....men are the majority of ALL jobs, including senior leadership. The issue is that there is not equal opportunity and representation in the work force. The garbage man does not represent the whole of men being unthanked. If there was better examples here I may be more empathetic but these were terrible examples. 5 - As a woman that works in a professional environment, I can tell you things have gotten much better for "strong women" in the professional arena however i whole heartedly disagree that assertive men are being dinged for it. To say its more socially acceptable for a woman to be assertive in the workplace, versus a man is outright inaccurate. I think what is being identified here are definite cultural problem in our modern society but the way it's presented makes it sound like - Well men are like this bc of crazy societal standards they need to live to so please understand and accept us. instead of what I think what would be a more compelling podcast of these are the issues we are faced with, here is a personal account (or few), and this is what we need and would like to see shift. Anyways, let the hate train come. But this episode did the complete opposite of its intention of helping a woman better understand (and empathize) for men.