MARRIAGE DYNAMICS (Vol. 15)
Mystery about Marriage
Covenant Marriage is Commitment!
In a covenant marriage, marriage is not excitement but commitment. Excitement will go away, but commitment will stay. Many people marry for excitement of the wedding ceremony. They think that a wedding ceremony is the same as marriage. You can have a wedding ceremony and not have marriage. The wedding ceremony is a public affair, while marriage is a private affair.
Don’t marry for excitement but commitment. The wedding ceremony is for a period, while marriage is for life. The wedding ceremony will end at reception, while marriage will begin after the reception.
Commitment is to be obligated to fulfilling or keeping a promise. It is to do everything to keep true to your words. Marriage is not for better alone but for better and for worse. This is beyond excitement, but it is commitment.
The Bible says in Genesis 2:24 (NIV): “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.” This verse shows three actions of commitment in a covenant marriage. They are: leaving, cleaving, and weaving.
Leaving: “That is why a man leaves his father and mother.” This is emotional detachment and differentiation from one’s family of origin. To have healthy and happy relationships, it is necessary for couples to detach from their parental control and influence.
Leaving: “That is why a man leaves his father and mother.” Not only their biological parents but other human figures that have certain influences and control over them (friends, bosses, church or religious leaders, relatives, etc)
Leaving: “That is why a man leaves his father and mother.” In a covenant marriage, your affection is toward your spouse and not toward your parents or someone else. You must let go of some people in your life to let your spouse into your life. You must lose to gain.
Leaving: “That is why a man leaves his father and mother.” Commitment in marriage involves detachment from some previous attachments in your life to attach to your spouse. You cannot be committed to your spouse and be committed to someone else the same time. Commitment involves leaving.