MARRIAGE DYNAMICS (Vol. 8)
Mystery about Marriage
Contract Marriage is about Consumerism!
It is based on the benefit or gains that one will derive from the marriage. This kind of marriage focuses on the gain and never the pain; benefit and never the loss. No wonder many singles only want to marry someone who has a career and money even if he/she does not have character and manner. Then, what happens when the career and money are no more? This is not marriage. Some men and women got married or entered relationship for the sake of child support, alimonies, and life insurance. To them, entering into marriage and having children together is a means of getting child support and alimonies if divorced; or life insurance in case the spouse dies. Marriage to such people is like a business.
Contract Marriage is about Contemplation!
This is based on whether it will work out or not. If it works out, then they will stay together, but if it does not, they will asunder. This is a probational marriage. It is for better I stay, and for worse I stray. This trial and error kind of marriage or relationship begins with cohabitation ~living together like a couple without being legally married.
A marriage of trial and error is not a marriage because it lacks commitment. Whosoever sins with you will also sin against you. If not confessed, repented, and restituted; premarital sex is a license or ticket for extramarital sex. Using sex or any form of negotiation as contemplation for marriage is a contract marriage.
Contract Marriage is about Condition!
It is a marriage that is based on self-enhancement, self-ambition, and self-fulfillment. For instance, an illegal immigrant in a country may want to marry a citizen of the country to become a legal migrant. Or a man/woman may want to marry somebody who will become the father/mother figure to his/her child or children.
Marriage is not for selfishness but selflessness. It is not for solving your situational problems but for living together. It is a wrong expectation to think that your spouse is a means to meeting your personal worry, concern, failure, disappointment, and vacuum.
Marriage is not about what you will get alone but what you will give. In fact, marriage is not about getting but giving. The question everyone should ask is this: ‘what am I giving or adding to this marriage and not what am I getting from this marriage.’ Getters are users, but givers are helpers.
A man may present to be a good father to your children to marry you but only to find out after marriage that he is terrible at fatherhood. A woman may pretend to be a good homemaker, cook, and nanny to you to marry you but only to find out that she is a home wrecker after marriage. To marry for a selfish reason is a contract marriage.