I am so very sad to hear that. I also had a marriage like that. It was miserable and his lack of love, affection and serving me sexually made me start to believe I am the problem, I am unlovable, undesirable. I compromised for years staying a good committed Christian wife, but nothing ever improved and he never desired me or cherished me. It really negatively impacted my self image and my value as a woman. I wasted 12 years on that sad excuse for a marriage. It wasn't a marriage God ordained because it doesn't produce fruits of the Spirit and only caused me to sin and be frustrated and resentful. The Lord freed me from that marriage and he freed me from that sad prison. It was the best thing for me, I am regaining my true value, relearning that I am lovable, desirable, and worthy of love and affection and attention. I hope you can leave him if he doesn't desire to change or seek help. The Lord commands husbands to Love their wives, Your husband is not obeying the Lord, and the Lord wants you to be Loved and fulfilled by a godly man who will make you feel loved and satisfied. If your husband is triggering all of your fruits of this flesh and not the fruits of the spirit in your marriage I would really highly recommend that it is time you move on. I didn't like who I was with my husband because of the way he treated me it brought out all the worst qualities within me because I was always hurt by his negligence. Now without him I am so happy and I know the Lord is restoring me because I know that I'm going to remarry and I will be given to a husband who will desire and love me and cherish me. It's been 2 years since I filed for divorce I haven't dated and I'm still abstinent but I know that the Lord will provide it has been who is going to be able to value and cherish and love me like the Lord ordained men and husbands to love their wives more than they love themselves. Good luck I hope you get what you need Ruth but I hope you are brave enough to leave if you need to I just pray you don't waste the years that I wasted on someone who doesn't deserve or love you and is not selfless.