That's a really good point.

I wish church leaders could understand this point. If they can't it may be a sign that they are in leadership for the wrong reason, namely pride.

I think one of the hardships to this is the career-ishness of the pastorate. If a person’s career is to be a pastor, then stepping down means starting over and finding a new career.

@@theQandA which is why most won't and instead rather change the Bible.

Jesse Lee Peterson gets it. Hence his quote.

Yeah, that doesn't always work that way unfortunately. It should, but you're naive if you think women can't or won't rebel.

​@@waakow"should" Focus more heavily on reading than on commenting, and it will serve you well.

@@browserboy1984 you should take your own advice. You missed the part where I reiterated "should".

@@waakow which renders your comment wholly irrelevant.

"masculinity" shouldn't be your focus, especially if this subjective definition of it is the one you want to live by. The Bible doesn't preach "masculinity". It preaches love. It preaches living in God's love for you and transferring it to others. And the root of all love is patience. Being long suffering with yourself and others with a mentality that says "God loves me, and this will take as long as it takes". Then it's kindness. Being loving and kind. Then it's not delighting in evil but rejoicing in the truth. Telling the truth in love. And being patient with those who don't receive it and showing themove regardless. Always protecting others for their good. Always trusting, and persevering. And love never fails. Doesn't mean YOU won't fail. But love itself will not fail. And when you seek to embody that, that's far greater than any definition of characteristics anyone's artificial definition of "masculinity" can provide.

I have many more sins, but also 2 daughters.

I have too many sins to count. One son.

@@nameetharish9385 He edited the original comment. Bummer.

John actually offered to step down, but his elders determined that his son's falling away did not come from a lack of discipleship and management on John's part.

​@@merecatholicityhe should have still stepped down. His son has obvious contempt for anything even vaguely Christian, and he's not even some rebellious teen anymore - he's carried his disdain into old age.

Then technically everything you do wrong in life is your parents fault.

I admire your willingness to seek out people to encourage and guide you in the Christian ways of fatherhood and husbandry. The Bible tells us in Proverbs " Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding; acknowledge Him in all your ways and He will direct your paths." Seek the Lord God in these matters and allow Him to direct you. Start by asking Him to show you scripture that will help you understand the responsibilities of a father and husband. Also, ask Him to bring people into your life that are good examples and will help guide you in these matters. May you and your family be blessed and have peace in our Lord Jesus Christ.

Find a spiritual Father! Are you close to any Orthodox Church?

A godly local Bible-believing church if you can find one, and also the ministry of Jimmy and Karen Evans (Marriage Today and other KZfaq channels), plus your own Bible reading, devotions, and prayers.

Thank you for all of the suggestions

Mark dejesus. He's way better than Doug Wilson

My first thought: better to marry than to burn (1 Cor. 7:9). As a married man, I can testify that it is very much a blessing to have a holy outlet for my passions. I want to commend you for your selfless consideration of a potential family in these times. That being said, our Lord knows best and has provided a solution for us as men. Having a wife is an incredible grace from the Lord. Do remember that Paul wrote 1Cor. 7:9 during a time when persecution was rampant. He warned that those who marry will have trouble in the flesh, but clearly indicated that the Lord gifts each man according to His purposes. If you burn, accept the Lord's grace and marry. May our Lord richly bless you in Christ.

The first thing I would say is that if persecution comes, the women will suffer from it anyway. You aren’t “bringing her in” to the persecution by marrying her. This leads to the point in wanting to make: it may actually be better for her to be married and to have a man over her to protect and provide for her in the midst of severe persecution. Furthermore, entering into marriage and having is how the Church fights against the forces of darkness. If you fear persecution is coming, then join the resistance, my friend. God has told us to be fruitful, multiply and fill the earth. That’s what he’s told us to do. So, if you are not gifted with celibacy, I’d say be faithful to God’s commands to find a wife and father children and leave the outcomes to Him.

@@michaelburdge6748 Appreciate your response, my friend. Really helpful.

@@Eric_Lichtenberg wish that worked for me. I was married but lost my outlet for my passions fairly quickly and it ended up being like I was single anyways. Marriage doesn't always solve this problem.

@@waakow You are simply generalizing stuff. This sounds more like "your marriage" has an issue that you need to address and very quickly(1 Cor. 7 : 4-5). I'm sorry that you're in that position but every marriage is not like that.

Personally I believe that only a man who has already raised a faithful family should be shepherding the flock. Unfortunately that leaves most modern men out. Maybe it is supposed to be taken as an ideal situation that we should strive for.

Not sure, but if he gets married and has kids, you'll find out a lot more about him. I say that humbly. What you find out about yourself isn't always good based my own experience. Single pastors or married ones who don't have kids are another case. I've seen them preach hard to others in situations they've never been in.

@@briancooper2833 Very good points, I would think that at the very least they will need to have a woman from the church that can be involved in the counseling of single women.

I have the same concern in the context of marriage. How can a man be held responsible over something he cannot control? He can maybe influence, but he cannot control. This assertion of that degree of responsibility put the insurmountable task on the man to be all knowing and to engineer the perfect life for his wife and children so that they follow God perfectly. And it also places the mistakes of the wife and children's own moral agency on the man's head. If a human man is responsible for for all of this, then does God hold himself responsible for our actions? He doesn't. He's not responsible for what we do. He deals with us according to his wisdom and justice. He holds us accountable for our own actions. Therefore a man should do the same for his wife and kids and not unfairly assume total "responsibility" for everything they do just as God does.

It's the cover of this book: canonpress.com/products/the-neglected-qualification/ The cover art is by Forrest Dickison!

@@CanonPress thank you so much, Canon Press! Will check it out!

That explains a lot. IF that is truly the reason for the ever shrinking # of faithful God fearing (single) men in the church. It is NOT good for them to be alone. Impossible to find a church with obedient leadership? I think not. If the will to not forsake the church is present, there IS a way. Praying for my brothers in Christ🙏