I’ve been binging this man all day

I love listening to this guy, i think he's one of the most important men of our time, i don't agree with everything he says, but i think he's great, a breath of fresh air.

It took me til age 82 and my third love partner to learn to take the risk of making myself vulnerable. It’s never too late. I am a widow and I am in love again, and fulfilled and happy.

i love listening to alain. he speaks very fluently and clearly.

“Make us to suffer in the way we feel familiar. “ well said.

Alain... music to my ears, wisdom for my soul.

Is this dude a human, or some primordial god of psychology and philosophy?

I just love how this guy has solutions to all major problems in our lives.

Such great advice, very wise words. Thank you Alain.

That quote at the end gives me freakin life! I can't describe it, the way he says it is just soooo amazing!

Jesus fucking Christ. Currently I'm at 3rd minute of this. And I have a feeling that during that time I picked up more for my inner self than during the rest of day. Dayayayayayayaym.

We invent the things we love...it is all very cinematic. The big problems emerge when the love object does not follow the script we have unknowingly written for them. And the most difficult thing to accept is that the LO is not required to be our invention - in any of its particulars.

This is gold!!! So incredibly inspired!

A voice of raw fucking compassion, ladies and gentlemen, Alain de Botton.

I LOVED THIS !

I've read and enjoyed several of de Botton's books. Good times. He does a great job here as well. Enlightening.

Brilliant. Thank you so much.

Best speech ever!

This is perfect.

Yesss so much better than school of life even though it’s the same person HOW we say things make such a difference

love these insights, thank yoi

By far the best podcast I’ve listen to this year🔌

Love this!

Love this

Have listen to the video of this audio, this man is inspiring

Interesting! Thank you.

I will sleep better tonight. Thanks you!

Yes, “Love is a skill “! Recognition of ambivalent.

Thank you

This man is a genius.

Great talk, I also think it takes a certain age to realize it too... I'm 26 and now I realize most men I was falling for were the same type that strangely felt "familiar " and they all turned out to be truly awful people...

it is a skill

Genius.

Is this The School of Life guy?

Yes!!!!

Brilliant!

At 7:56- I laughed so freaking hard!!!!!!!

Who can't relate to this your shaped by your past experiences making it harder to express yourself and say what you need to say

How do you make these kind of animations with your audio?

Overthinking exists. One can over analyze a situation. In fact over thinking and neurosis go hand in hand. This is largely the legacy of Aristotle and has led to much suffering in the Western World.

A big difference between friend and lover is that the friend is more of an adult, the lover is a parent and a child by turns, and it is sex that unlocks both parent and child...

The entire talk is available on KZfaq and it's only 6 mins longer than the one here - but with visuals. I don't understand what the benefit of snipping those few minutes was? The original: kzfaq.info/get/bejne/eqmDaddns7uld4U.html

Full of laughs. Life is regrettable, but enjoy the journey.

🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼

What software was this done on

How does that apply to abusive/toxic relationships? Does that mean we have to stay in abusive relationships and not work on finding someone who's more healthy for us?

What are types? I don't understand when he says "we can not change our type..." because I have changed my "type" I believe.

Go figure: you have to communicate and both partners must participate and be willing to grow for the other Shocker: everyone has baggage, nobody is perfect, and relationships aren't easy.

8:16 So I'll never find someone who just KNOWS the difference between "take me" & "take the bin out" eyes? 😕Raaaaats✌🏻😏

Do not attach to some with very opposite political philosophy. Misery will ensure that it is on its way to you.

13:01 to 13:04

Imo - 'romantic love' is a series of intermingled transactions verbal/physical where feelings/senses from person A to person B (and vice versa) project on to each other how they want to really feel about themselves, not only verbalised but manifested in the other person. We are not taught (prob by religion) to self love or put ourselves first, nor to actual like oneself. Plus if we do, definitely not to voice that position. To do so is viewed by society as narcissisic, selfish, arrogant. 'Love' on the romantic level imo doesn't exist as a standalone feeling. The two people within the relationship unknowingly use (both emotionally and physically) each other to reflect, not romantic love, but self love back onto themselves, its a mutual exchange. Sometimes the exchange is unbalanced, esp where person A or B needs more self love to feed on. More than the other is capable of giving (without knowing the actual transaction they have entered into). When the exchange ceases to fulfil the self love aspect, in either person or their ego, the contract becomes one-sided and untenable. Resulting usually in one person leaving/having an affair (they might seek A N other to feed the still empty void, partially filled by their last partner, but not fully) or they both decided its not for them. In an ideal world the start point wold be; ea would love/like themselves equally, and the exchange from their partner would be complementary to that already acquired position

4:00

What if your type = Aquarius male?

12:25

So if we can't change our types why bother thinking and reasoning about emotions? If we can't change our types, which is determined by our early experiences of love, then we are using our instincts. So where then sits the advice to watch out for red flags?

I think that when someone tells us something about us they are also speaking about themselves on some level. Also depending on Dharma different types needs diff things. Being an educator is enjoy this educator view, however warriors, merchants, laborers and outsiders may need to be handled in a diff manner yo

Well that certainly didn't help me with deciding between two guys, one who checks off all the similar interests compatibility boxes and the other who checks off all the sexual compatibility boxes.

but who is he? does he have a degree in the field? what are his qualifications? or is he a comedy side show?

..?..now,you tell me!?

I followed my heart, found someone who makes me happy, loving them came naturally and visa versa. He is not perfectly perfect nor am I but we both are aware that no one is so that is no problem. We have never had a falling out in our 10 years. Working pretty well for us. Oh and we both take "criticism" from each other very well because we both know that it is coming from a desire to help. I don't understand why these things are so hard for people to understand. I all just seems so obvious.

humans hate each other? how did we ever get to have billions of us?

"Familiarity breeds contempt" Why not just say what you want & what you are willing to give. (Write up a contract)

Well that's too bad :(

This is Stewie Griffin in 2021

0

should u compromise with someone who is violent towards u??

His teaching is contradicting himself all the time