"When people show you who they are, believe them the first time." - Maya Angelou

Thank you for speaking out Mel

I'm a DV survivor and I was blessed to get away. It's been 25 years now, but I suffered from PTSD for so long. I thank my husband now for helping me and loving me through my issues.

I am so grateful for her clarity. This has been said so many times, but I’m gonna say it again- removing yourself from an abusive partner is one of the most difficult journeys that a person can experience. The recovery from an abusive relationship be it physical, psychological, emotional, and or a combination of all three- it is a lot, and it takes a lot of knowledge and a lot of time and work to recover. Taking a survey of the personal things you have lost, not just material but things within your character, your personality, the separation from self- that’s a lot and it’s just unfortunate that so many people are, deceived into these toxic unions and deceived while they’re in these toxic unions. I’m just really proud of her for being able to speak about it in the way that she does.

My mom used to beat me up after dad left. I’m a man but I totally sympathise with being terrified of someone.

I am proud of myself for standing up to my abusive ex husband and making his character known.

Thank you Mel-B , This needs to be Heard!!👊🏽👏🏽👊🏽👀

Go Mel! This is a serious problem in my country Australia.

15 years is optimistic. Many Domestic violence offenders don't get punished at all.

My mother had an abusive stepfather (my grandmother supported it, to get back at my grandfather). Then when my father abused her, she tolerated as it was normal for her. Until he pushed her down the stairs and she couldn't walk for awhile. I was crying (I was 2-3) for her and my older brother had to run and hour to our neighbours to get help (we lived in the Australian bush). She realised he could have killed her and there wouldn't be anyone to protect us. My early memories are of my father beating my mother. My mother never trusted another man after him. She was too scared. Now she is so angry with her mother that she cut contact. It's crazy people think once youre out of a situation that everything just dosappears. It doesn't. Thanks for bringing awareness. My mother was able to walk after a few days.

I left a 27year relationship of mental, verbal, physical and depression. But on top of it all. I still haven't completely gotten the self-confidence needed to heal.

This right here, needs to be dealt with world wide. So many suffering in silence. PLEASE if you're reading this and you're living it, take that first step and please get out before it's too late. No one deserves to be treated like this. Yes it will be a long hard road to go down but it will be worth it, i promise. You DO have the strength even if it doesnt feel like it. You ARE stronger than what you think. I am living proof, I've done it twice. I believe in YOU 💜

I wish more people took this issue seriously

I lived a lot of abuse all my life. Especially when I was married. I never spoke about it until I started fainting and my behaviour at time was unexplainable. Plus heart attacks. I was diagnosed with severe PTSD and have had ten years of intense therapy. The most important thing I learned was where my power lays, which is to remove myself From triggering people and situations. Took along time to learn all my triggers but I’m not drawn into many conflicts now. I know better and will do better.

I was in an abusive domestic relationship and i am still dealing with the aftermath of it with having ptsd which has gone on to affect my physical and mental health. Thanks Mel for bringing attention to this issue.

Good on you Eddie for running away from this monster 👹

She gets a lot of hate and judgement, but I have always respected her tremendously for her strength and openness, with what she was put through by horrible men.

I have been away from my abusive partner for almost 10 years. I still have moments where I just break down because of how bad I was traumatized. And honestly I don't think I even realized how bad he messed me up until I was away from him for years. I was at work and I didn't even realize I was apologizing consistently and my co-workers were like "dude...stop" one of them even made the comment like "what did you go through" another one was that "you apologize just for living". And we have two kids together and it's still really hard to talk to him, which I only do if its absolutely necessary, because I completely shut down.

Now that's an important and eye opening conversation!!! April 2024

Thank you for educating and for your transparency. It will help others. ❤

I met her in Leeds a few years ago just shopping and going about her day, Mel was really lovely and so down to earth! She's an inspiration.

I grew up in a home with domestic violence. I never married because I could never feel safe putting my life in someone else's hands.

Thank you Queen for having the voice for so many❤❤ God bless you

Thank you for explaining this. So many don't understand how devastating this is. Society doesn't get it, understandably but it needs to be talked about. Bravo to you ❤❤❤

People always speak about abuse but never the effects of it mentally and physically

This subject is something that needs to be talked about more...women are going through so much around the world.

Thank you Queen for this knowledge 🙏❤

10 years without leaving? I think Eddie made the right decision.

A friend called police after her husband choked her, they told him to go for a walk to calm down, they should have standard procedures and be held liable if they aren’t followed, a walk doesn’t cut it.

Thank you for speaking!!!!! Protect the women who have the courage to leave abusive relationships. It’s so difficult!!! Stop shaming women for leaving marriages just because you don’t understand why she left.

So much gratitude for her efforts to educate on such a difficult and personal topic. Healing is hard work, and it’s inspirational to see someone who’s been through it and is now strong enough to advocate for others. Bless you Mel. 🙏

Love this message!!!! It NEEDS to be heard!!

Thank you, my sistah. Walk the brave walk. They always asked why don't you just leave? No one never ask why is he beating you??? You did nothing wrong ❤

Thankyou Mel, your amazing my cousin was murdered in her own home by her husband with her 2 kids upstairs who heard it all, not sure what they saw, but because he’s a multimillionaire he can now change his name and identity and start a new life and our family has had to suffer and are still suffering, my auntie drank herself in to her grave because she couldn’t cope, the law needs to change NOW!!!!

Mel I've been waiting for you for so long. You are an amazing woman ❤❤❤

Mel you look fabulous and love your fashionista 😍💃🏽…You are a phenomenal woman and when days get rough about the past remember in your moment of pain, YOU are FREE and Safe… May prayer give you strength and peace to know you are loved🙏🏽💜😍💐

What a beautiful person she is, for talking about this. Rebuilding after abuse is such an uphill battle, and very few people have an understanding of that. Thank you ❤

I love this woman. More survivors need to speak out.

What about men who are abused and killed by their wives?

She spoke absolute facts. I'd realized I was a dv victim-never considered myself that but it therapist and other professionals say so. I know someone who is struggling to leave and I know that road has to be built on faith and confidence- I live in fear for her so then I pray for her. Let's correct this for both men and women. ❤

More of this! Learning how to drive again, learning how to answer someone without watching if you’re using “we” “us” “our”. There needs to be soooooo much more coverage on this because majority of people don’t get what she means by “we have to learn how to walk & talk again.” DV is so much more than physical. What these men, yes I’ll say men because majority rules, can do to someone’s mental health and how they can actually case brain damage without being physical, is not spoken about enough. It’s shocking.

I'm so glad she is speaking about after you leave, because that can be extremely difficult to get yourself regulated and confident again. People don't really speak of the pain of healing.

Thank you so much for speaking up! Your voice is so important toward getting laws updated and action taken to keep us all safe. I will look up where I can purchase your book here in the US. I agree with you the damage is with you for the rest of your life. We have to learn how to manage it so we can move on to live good lives. Congratulations on your book, it must have been difficult to relive some situations. Much respect to you.

The middle to the ending is soooo real. That’s me right now.. literally trying to walk and talk all over again. It’s been a YEAR AND HALF for Christ sakes and I’m STILL broken. I have so much anxiety my heart beats so hard and off beat too 😪 especially when I have those traumatic events running through my mind I feel so bad for my heart, literally my heart is aching 😢 I suffer every single day. Like WHENNNNNN will my time come for peace and real love, kind love 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼😩😩😩😩

I spent 5 years with a man who verbally abused me & it does have a lasting effect on you. When I eventually end the relationship he stalked me. Yes I was lucky his abuse wasn't physical but abuse either it be physical or verbal is still trauma.

I absolutely love her. She's been through a lot I'm proud of her for using her platform to raise awareness for victims and survivors. ❤

I've been single for 22 years because of DV. PTSD is what has kept me from trying again and I doubt that I ever will....

Wow Mel B! Who knew! Thank you for having the courage to share your story with the world. ❤❤❤

The number of women affected by domestic violence is staggering and it's shocking that it's largely dismissed, especially in this day and age. 😢

I'm so proud of her for telling her story

I appreciate you Mel!!! It takes courage to share your story!!! Violence towards Women needs to be eradicated!!! & it starts with Us.... Women uniting!!!

Real Talk👍

Very true...especially when you go from an abusive childhood to an abusive adult relationship...😢 I'm 52, went from one to the other (met husband at 17 yrs old...FINALLY got out July 25th 2023...after 33 full yrs)!

I totally relate when she said that you have to restart to learn how to speak or talk again. These kind of people dim your light so much that you rather prefer to stay quiet otherwise you never know how they could react if you dare to share your opinion. It's hard to believe that so many people are going through this. I pray for healing to everyone who is or was going through an abusive relationship.

Thank you Mel!

Yes Mel! Absolutely 💯

THIS. The aftermath is, in ways, worse. Thanks for speaking out

It all starts with educating women AND men, girls AND boys about self esteem, ethics, integrity, morals. If a person has ethics, self esteem, this person will never ever accept a person that has no ethics, no self esteem, no morals, no integrity. abuse is a manifestation of all the before mentioned. the focus should be on prevention.

Thank you Mel B for telling your story ❤️💐🇿🇦

Thank you for speaking out.

My mom was with my dad for 15 years and they divorced 33 years ago. To this day she still talks to me about having nightmares about my dad. She never recovered from it.

I was in a 24 yr marriage, where I was mentally, and emotionally abused pretty much all the time. He tried twice to physically abuse me, but both times I used something I could bust his head with, and he went to the ER and had to get stitches. I'm not bragging about that. I hate that it ever happened, because I don't like hurting anybody, especially my spouse! But that kept him from being physical with me. I wish I'd stood up for myself when he mentally tortured my mind, and my feelings. That man could say the most vile things a human being could think of just to hurt me as deep as he could. I almost convinced myself to commit- unalive myself. But that's when I knew I had to leave. I had to be there for my 5 children. When I left him I didn't know how to live a normal life. I didn't think I was worthy of anything. I only left him for the sake of my children. So I know exactly what you mean when you say you had to learn to walk, and talk again. But I ended up moving in with my parents. I hated that I had to start life again from scratch. But my parent's neighbor of 8 years, who was always helping them with anything that they needed, had gone through a split with his ex. She had left him for another man. My parents don't ever talk bad about people. But they did see that their neighbors ex was very hateful with him, and she'd gaslight him outside in front of everyone. He, and began having conversations. Very long conversations. Once we started talking we couldn't stop. We had sorta known each other for 8 years. But only in passing by when I'd go by my parent's house. We never dreamed we'd one day end up together. I had decided I never wanted to have a relationship again, EVER! But when I saw that a good man, a really decent, caring, hard working man, was available. I just went for it. Most men at my age are either married, or they're weird! But he was almost perfect! In 2 days we celebrate our 1st anniversary. I have to pinch myself often, because the happiness I now have in my life is really unbelievable. I didn't mean to write a novel. But if you're reading this, and you're stuck in a toxic relationship.. please know that you are so much more than what your abuser says you are! You deserve happiness just like everyone else! You can do it! There's a happy life waiting for you to decide you want it. Do it for yourself!

Go on Mel. This is a great thing you are doing.

Yes agree! This needs to be spoken on much more often! Also on abusive mothers. Poor Gypsy Rose Blanchard did not deserve what her mom did to her! I had no idea Mel B went through that. So glad she survived!

This is so true...i just started therapy for my abusive marriage 20yrs ago...i still am suffering from ptsd from this...❤

I'm currently in the process of divorcing my abusive husband. 18 years of nonsense and its come down to needing a TRO for the safety of myself and our children. I never thought it would come to this. 😢

I was abused as a child and then abused many of my boyfriends due to that trauma but also been hit by a man with them having no right to so I have been on both sides and I'm in therapy sorting that out because hurting people hurt people and I'm healing now and I wish healing for everyone 💚

Well done for speaking out on this subject Mel!!

I am so glad that Mel B has the courage to speak up about what happened to her. I'm still suffering in silence. Hopefully one day I will have the courage to speak up.

In the US, it’s about 3 a day. Thanks for speaking out, Mel. So many are suffering in silence with a society that has normalized the violence (mainly) against women. Please don’t stop 💞

It took me 5 years to get out. And a lifetime to heal.

👏👏👏👏👏👏👏♥️ Thank you for your courage in talking about domestic partner abuse.

Ill stay single. It'd scary out there

Mel you were at the high court fighting for custody the same day as I was twenty years ago … I admire i you tremendously for speaking out against domestic violence ❤

I completely agree with everything she said. I am writing a book myself about my 11 years of abuse from my children’s father. Many people wonder why did it take so long to leave. But they don’t understand what you want through, the fear and control, and brainwashing that was instilled in you unless they have experienced it themselves. It’s even harder to leave when you have children. Also when you don’t have a support system because you didn’t tell everyone about the problems you were having, only his family and friends knew and anyone in my life, he distanced them from me. So how do you leave when you don’t know where to turn and you can’t trust that if you leave he won’t hurt your children just to spite you. It’s really hard. I had to find courage to start talking and find ways to document the truth without him finding out. I had to learn how to undo everything he had done and find myself again. My strength came after I had my daughter. I am now 7 years free with a permanent indefinite p.o. and still going to court against him.

I can confirm that those are not the sentencing guidelines for the cps.

She's brave AF to speak out so publicly.

Coercive Behaviour is truly evil 😈

Thank You Beautiful Mel B!! 🗣️🙏💯💖💖

My grandson was in an abusive controlling relationship. Never told anyone how he was treated. She broke his nose , practically starved him . He suffered extreme abuse from her. I asked him why he never told anyone. He said because no one would believe him, and that that was the case , even the police. Unbelievable.

Thank you for being a voice for us, men and woman go through it I went through it for about 20 years thinking there was no way out, I now have fibromyalgia anxiety PTSD and much more, get out as soon as you can !!!

I was so traumatized by my 1st marriage that when my now husband and I had our first argument, for me, it fell wierd that there was no yelling and no hitting and that after 15mins (cooling off) he came to talk to me like nothing had happened 😳 I was really in my head "Any time now"

The aftermath is the coldest..... you get judged, criticized, insulted, the confusion is surreal

I’m proud of you for getting free from an abusive relationship and for sharing your testimony. I came to know that there are so many of us who slip through the cracks. Not enough safeguards in place to protect us. The term narcissist sociopath is more tan just a terns I ensued decades with one and he never stopped harassing, stalking, breaking, entering and even poisoning. So many people are unaware.

This is true if you went through any type of abuse. Getting out of it and getting better is like learning to walk and talk again, and learn who you are. It’s wild ❤

I’m glad that she spoke out about this. I always looked up to her when she was in the Spice Girls and I was a kid. May she find complete peace and may her work help out thousands of women.

Thank you for sharing Mel😊

I grew up in an abusive home, my mum couldn’t take it anymore and packed us (4) and left, never looked back, I love and respect her courage 4ever for it, we were broke and we rolled on ❤ we had a good life afterwards 😊.. Mel B 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

Yesss they are quick to shout 70%divorce filed by women BUT NEVER talk about the reasons like abuse and neglect

100% agree. Well done for speaking up Mel.

Thank you for bringing this issue into the light! Hoping many others can do the same.

DV is not taken as seriously as it should be. More needs to be done about this. Thank you for speaking up

Mel looks stunning. Thank you for having the courage to speak out

I’m so glad someone with a platform is finally speaking out about domestic violence. It’s always swept under the rug as if it doesn’t happen and when it does people don’t want to believe that a man is capable of that simply because he was “nice”.

Thank you for sharing, 100% agree

Thank you for speaking out Mel, this is such an important topic ❤❤❤

I have had to move 2 hours drive away from the ex abuser. Survivors of domestic abuse are discriminated more than any other people. Why can’t I identify as a survivor of domestic abuse? I struggle to rebuild my life, with my son. I volunteer, and cannot get a job. (so we continue to be punished. Shouldn’t the abuser have to do volunteering for what they’ve done?)

Her head piece is so very British. I love it.

I was beat up for 6 years had no family to support me thankyou for speaking out its not just woman that get beat up by there partner its men too glad i got away he nearly killed me but im a surviver

I agree with you Mel B!! Thanks for bringing it to our attention!