Don’t forget about the person who constantly insults you but makes it out to be a joke or like they are just kidding. That’s disrespect!

We all do this sometimes.We need to self correct ourselves too.

Some of the best advice I read with more than 50 years ago by a woman who said, allow your friends to have three faults. Maybe you do have that friend that always late (I know I do) returns out those friends are some of the most kindest, generous and caring people that I know, so I grant them that fault.

I am always on time but my friend is not. She is not disrespecting me. She just organizes different from me. I love her and don’t mind waiting a few minutes.

"No is a complete sentence." I am so stealing that.

“No” is a full sentence. I love that!

Number 5: some people never stop talking about themselves. The only option is to interrupt eventually XD

Someone who never shuts up will call you out for interupting them

#6: being judgmental without knowing all the facts

When someone keeps talking endlessly, and you can't get a word i edgewise.

Also the friend who breaks appointments/dates with you at last minute.

I’m at the point in my spiritual development where I just don’t even want to waste my energy on calling it out. If they’re not that important to me I just peacefully detach myself and stop giving them time or attention. Bye bye and good luck to you. This is obv for people who don’t hold a super important place in my life. For those that do, I always make the effort, will bring it up with compassion, and loyal to the end.

"Don't argue with a stupid person.. they will bring you down to their level and beat you with experience"

Disrespect: 1) friends running late 2) back handed compliment 3) pressure to do things unwilling to you. 4) constant on phone while you're talking 5) Talking over you You teach people how to treat you.

Also when someone makes plans with you then regularly cancels them last minute.

I always walk away because even if I want to say something to call it out, I don’t know what to say without escalating it or showing that I’m bothered by them😭

I want to mention that a lot of people couldn't care less if they're disrepecting others and will get a kick out of hearing about it too! 🙁

Sometimes people who have massive anxiety, run late a lot, and don’t in any way mean to disrespect those they are meeting. I was one of these people for many years. (Therapy helps.) If someone had “called me out” in this aggressive way, saying I was being disrespectful, I would have felt horrible and just had more anxiety around meeting that person, and probably be later. This woman is missing the mark a bit.

As someone with ASD and ADHD, I feel disrespected. I’m calling YOU out!

I have a bad habit of always running late and talking over people but im working on it, i swear its not intentional, im honesty a really nice person, i just need to work on things

Honorable Mention: The person who shows up at your house unannounced. They have no respect for your schedule. They just assume you're not doing anything and have time to entertain them. 😒

As a mother with a child that has adhd, I know that when he interrupts he doesn't even notice it. He doesn't do it on purpose and he certainly isn't trying to disrespect anyone. So though I understand how the receiver feels and might interpret it, sometimes the intention is not what you might perceive it to be.

Dad said you set the bottom line for how others will treat you. Tell them if something is unacceptable. They are strong enough to hear you.

While I hate being disrespected, it's always a good idea to have an open and honest respectful convo about MUTUAL understandings, reasonable expectations, needs, and boundaries first, then, follow up with trials and what will most likely be "mistakes" or learning curves of the other person, and them you. If they still cannot respect you after putting in some initial work, better have that talk and CALL IT OUT RESPECTFULLY!

*"You teach people HOW to treat you!" Best advice I ever got, I was 19 years old. I was a people pleaser and never liked to tell people "no" and was working at a store that was open 24/7. The manager of the store had scheduled himself as the graveyard cashier, which meant he'd have to relieve me. He was late constantly and always had some excuse. I couldn't make plans after work because I never knew if I'd be off on time. Then, someone gave me that advice. The next day I told him that from now on I'm leaving at 10pm (when my shift ended) and if he wasn't here I was locking the doors and calling the DM to let him know. He only came in late once after that and he called to explain that his car wouldn't start and he had someone on the way to drive him to work. He was only about 20 minutes late.

that friend that is late … has Adhd and already feels bad about it and losing confidence and getting depressed not able to time managemet even with friends they love most on world

#5 resonated and made me feel vindicated FOR calling it out. I lost that “friendship” for that plus a number of disrespectful incidents I had heretofore let slide but not my self respect and I refuse to be sorry I called it out or have regrets.

I love Mel she always keeps it real/ straight forward/ honest with no small talk. ❤

Or it’s your amazing friend with Adhd that loves you so much respects you so much yet is always running late and gets distracted while you are telling a story. But not so perfect friends are sometimes the best friends you’ll ever have

Her : "the person who talks over you... They're disrespecting you. Introverts everywhere: 😥😪

The late thing usually isn't out of disrespect. Some people are just really bad with time and are even late to things that are important to them. Particularly calculating time. I'm always late to EVERYTHING, and is apologizing constantly because I have a sleep disorder and usually can never fall asleep until about 3 hours before I'm supposed to be showing up somewhere. I am so thankful for the people in my life who give me grace in that area. I'd hate it if they just assume I'm doing this stuff to be spiteful.

Anyone that talks over me I totally disconnect by doing something else or completely leaving. Gets the message out even more firmly without saying a word.

In other words "how to make it all about you." Relationships are give and take. If you're going to 'call out' every minor annoyance, you'll soon find yourself alone wondering why you have no friends anymore. On the other hand if your 'friend' does all or most of these things, you should probably just move on.

As a person who struggles with setting boundaries I really appreciate a video like this.

I’m always late to everything, I have ADHD and suffer time blindness. I often avoid making plans to avoid being late. It’s not always disrespect.

Someone called me out on my lateness and it made me feel horrible because I was secretly struggling with an illness progression that I didn’t tell anyone about that would cause me to sometimes take more time doing basic things to get myself ready.

A girl I've known since elementary school was that way to me. I was very supportive of her when she had her first child and her second and when she got married. Whenever she would invite me to her functions it was like she wanted to parade her life in my face ,because she had her "besties" from college that would have been the ones that was helping her host and all of them would be all social and I'm sitting there not knowing anyone and her not introducing me anytime. Whenever we would talk she would always cut me off or would be the one to always want to talk and I never get a word in. My last straw was she invited me to have a playdate with her kids and my child and I agreed. There's was this other girl there with her child and I was ignored the entire time until the girl left and then she wanted to talk. I invited her on a playdate the following week to an event I already had planned to go and she was all excited to go. When the day came she was like oh I forgot my husband was off and we having a family day , I was thinking well damn how does that impact anything if they all could have came to where I was going to be at with my child?! I just told her ok and blocked her out my contacts.

"That someone who always shows up late" Me: 👀

"No" is a complete sentence. I love it!!

❤Love: “No.” is a complete sentence ‼️‼️‼️

She's leaving out the friend that always wants to go out to EAT or PARTY but never has any money.

Some of these are traits of Asperger's and ADHD. It's not that they are being disrespectful, it's because of executive function difficulties. In fact these people are desperate to be liked and are misjudged and misunderstood ☹️. It's all relative to who the people involved are and not to generalize and box people up

I agree with all except the person running a little late. Many people with ADHD have time blindness & struggle with being on time no matter how hard we try. It is actually as distressing or more to us than the person we were late meeting & can makes us feel bad about ourselves for days afterwards.

I actually called it out many times, but it starts a fight and one that I will never "win." I stopped calling it out because it's easier just to let them "win" from the start. People are trash.

I'm late a lot. I actually appreciate when friends remind me when I need to leave, or when I need to be somewhere. I don't want to be late, I underestimate time. I also interrupt. Sometimes it's because I'm excited. Other times it's because the speaker just breezed past something I didn't understand. Yet other times it's because I'm annoying as hell :p

Reevaluate is my feedback. The disrespect you speak of is situational. People with ADHD, and outside of the box thinkers and "doers" are not being disrespectful. What is rude to you, may not be the situation at hand.

Number 6 the person who only sees the bad and constantly "calls it out".

The fact that anyone has to be told this is worrying. This is obvious disrespect

Had a friend once that always talks about himself. You can't get one word in. So I quit being friends. Simple.

I feel it would be more helpful to give advice on how to be gentle with each other. We teach each other how to treat us. “Call it out” is not enough information. There are different styles of communication. People are often doing their best. Help each other. Why are people doing these disruptive behaviors? People feel unheard and unseen. Seeing everyone through the lens of “disrespect” isn’t how I want to interact in the world. It breeds outrage instead of connection. Find away to communicate your needs without shaming or being aggressive. Starting subtle and moving forward with stronger language will bring people closer instead of pushing people away.

My husband said to a coworker who interrupted him repeatedly "Oh I'm sorry, did I interrupt your sentence with the middle of mine?" 😂

I LOVED WHEN YOU SAID "NO IS A COMPLETE SENTENCE" CALL IT OUT❤

I've been feeling bad for calling out a friend of 35 years for the way she's treated me. She didn't take it well and we no longer speak. I'm heartbroken but seeing this and listening to you is making me feel better about my decision.

I do a couple of these things sometimes.. i dont even really realize it, its def not intentional.. I need to be a whole lot more aware of how im treating others..

It depends on who the other person is. You can either stay and deal with them accordingly or you can remove yourself. Respect is definitely the key.💕✌🏽

Want to lose friends fast? Start adjudicating each interaction for level of disrespect.

The exception to the interrupting/talking over boundary is when the other person talks incessantly with no pauses for dialogue.

As a person who is literally always a few minutes late, I have never ever meant to disrespect anyone. I am just very bad at time management. And for my mother, who is also often a bit late, it's because she cares about everyone a bit too much, so that even in a hurry she will bake something like muffins for the person we're visitimg.

This is my wake up call to be better to others

"لا تنتظر من لا ينتظرك"

Unless you have ADHD and you constantly try to stop yourself from interrupting everyone but sometimes you do it out of excitement. Also Adhd is literally the inability to perceive time so makes it really hard to be on time. Otherwise these are great

I’m so bad at talking over people. I get really excited about what they are saying. It’s a terrible habit but it’s well intentioned.

Lateness is easily a symptom of many mental illnesses. Someone could’ve mustered up all the strength they had in their body to see u and still ended up 15 minutes late which was in reality a win for them. Be grateful for someone’s presence period they didn’t have to come at all

I liked this down-to-earth advice.

At least two of these are the symptoms of ADHD like running late and interrupting friends while talking.

"'No' is a complete sentence" Respecting others boundries is so important. Do a few of these things and am working on calling myself out

I’m late and interrupt people a lot and I think it has something to do with my overactive/ anxious mind, they’re bad habits I’d like to change but I never do it out of disrespect for the other person…

You go Girl . It's all true ❤️ !

You need to take the person and the situation into consideration before “calling them out”. When my kids were younger, I was always late when meeting friends. Thank goodness they weren’t snobby and “called it out”. I would probably be afraid to schedule anything with them afterwards and would have been terrible if our friendships would have ended over something so superficial.

Remember there are also people that suffer from attention deficit it's hard for them to focus on someone looking at them or they have problems with eye contact so they have to be doing something else. Don't be too quick to act on something that seems to be disrespectful from someone else and analyze the situation first. It's about getting to know the people and situation around us but of course that doesn't mean to allow others to be disrespectful. Study them first for a while then you'll know who they are what's going on on their head and how to handle it and what's worth it or not.

I don't feel like showing up on time but my friends are always pressuring me to. Starting now,,,,Im Calling Them Out!!

#5 is something I go through ALL the time & it's one of my biggest pet peeves. I agree that interrupting & talking over someone is disrespectful.

I partially disagree with some of these, as an adult struggling with untreated ADHD my whole life (I'm getting treated soon) I do things I simply can't help. e.g. I'm ALWAYS late to everything, even for people I have the utmost respect for.

As someone with ADHD I used to talk over others all the time and still do however not as much. It takes medication, practice and patience which all takes time.

*** Love this but would appreciate an example of #2 -- back handed compliment. I know what is is, but would love a perfect and appropriate example from Master Mel❤❤ Much respect and gratitude to all in this Community and esp. to Mel for guidance, leadership, solidarity, and unending support.

The number of backhanded compliments I get is unreal... I needed it.. Thank you Ma'am ♥️

Person calling me out for being late sometimes and then telling me I was hyperfocusing on my adhd when I was trying to explain it (adhd in general, not the reason I was late since that time I even wasn't) ... That's disrespectful!

The “talking over you” one bothered me enough to call out a bigger issue. It’s common to trip across another’s words without intending to and recovering from the occasional awkward stumble is indicative of self worth and maturity. Culturally, we are talking [speaking our truth] more and more but conversing less and less. The other day I was listening to a person tell her stories as I was volunteering to assist her in a crisis. She needed to talk constantly, telling me story after story. At what seemed to be a natural pause, I reacted and she snapped back in anger; “you interrupted me; that’s rude!” That defensive reaction killed all possibly of intimacy, connectedness and my desire to give anymore compassionate listening. The concept of respect is complex and challenging. Striving to earn it and giving it earnestly in due course is equally important to receiving it. Everyone wants it, but simply calling someone out in a defensive way is highly ineffective. I give respect and feel respected when discords are discussed in the spirit of curiosity and with some measure of humility toward a mutual goal of improving the quality of two way communication. We all must chose our battles but choosing not to battle; choosing instead to converse to an equal with an undefended heart requires courage and will earn and demonstrate respect faster and more powerfully than any “don’t interrupt me” defense.

I don’t think being late is always disrespectful, some people struggle with that and feel extremely bad for it.

AMEN! HEALTHY BOUNDARIES!💌

Also the friend that is always early. I’d rather you be late than early 😂

This Karen seems like tons of fun. She spends all day calling shit out. Must be a joy to be around

Also people that don’t return your calls or texts in a timely manner. Also people that say they will do something and they don’t.

Thankyou for respecting humanity enough to reinforce the many ways disrespect can be shown. You have my respect. Thankyou.

I’m only 21 but I’ve learned to self respect myself especially at my job. I noticed that a lot of older co workers find it disrespectful if the young employee defends themselves. I always reply respectfully but with confidence. I hate being taken advantage of at a work place and it happens more often to young people. My work asked my to stay an hour extra on Saturday then they asked me again on Sunday I respectfully said “no not today”. I don’t have to provide a reason why I said no and they shouldn’t ask why I can’t stay as well. It’s about keeping it 50/50 if not they’ll take advantage of the young employees and since I’m a new employee it makes me more of a target I feel.

I’m the one who’s always 15 mins late, I have three kids, two of them toddlers. It’s not going to change. You can call it out all you want lol

I've talked over ppl. I hate that I do it. I repent for this. I own it. I'm so sorry for doing this. Be blessed all-ways and thank you. I love diving DEEP IN2 MYSELF. ❤

Yes! My mom always talked over me, even when I was answering one of her questions. I eventually just kept talking at the same pace & volume without pause rather than popping a gasket.

Mel, these are great! Please make a video on how to call it out assertively. I need help on this, thank you!

Hell yeah damn straight. That last one hits hard

So I need to call out my parents? This will totally not go down well... I will do it, it just won't be easy.

True, respect yourself first, the rest will follow. You will weed out the people who don’t serve you anymore.

*To all the dreamers out there, don't ever let the world's negativity disenchant you or your spirit. If you surround yourself with love and right people, ANYTHING is possible.* 🙏🖤

CALL 👏🏻 IT 👏🏻 OUT! 👏🏻 💯

I love her energy about disrespect, it doesn’t feel like she’s angry but she just won’t put up with it. That’s a bad-ass women right there.

For the commenters saying they exhibit some of these traits due to ADHD etc, you're all exempt. She's referring to the narcissistic people in your life that are intentionally & deliberately doing these things because they don't respect you nor your time & feelings. In other words, she's referring to your family & "friends". Now that you know, keep it moving! ♥️

Calling it out doesn't seem to work though. In my experience, the same behavior comes back again after a little while. People don't change, it's just the circumstances around them changing that gives the illusion of change. Eventually I believe what Naval said, you just have to distance yourself from them

Absolutely spot on, thanks Mel!!

You’re absolutely right, even ADHD is not excusable lol. Thank you ❤

Part of respecting is accepting, and it goes both ways in any relation. Any good Psychologist or Counselor knows that.