💔🥺💖

Sorry for your loss Jordan, it's impossible to fathom the pain you must be carrying. I'm glad you have a good support network that's there for you.

sorry for your loss man, that really sucks ❤

so sorry for your loss Jordan, we love you 🫶🫶

You're pretty cool too, Jordan

yeah, it seems like their worst fear was men not marrying and having babies.

Exactly!!! Like the issue is not the decline in babies guys… didn’t one of those character ai apps take out the ability to have relationships with the ai bc men were being toxic and exhibiting dangerous behaviors?

this was my exact thought ngl

I wish they would also mention how men are taught from a young age to not show any emotion but anger which causes them to not be able to connect with anyone and if they get close with anyone they push them away through lack of emotional control and ability to communicate. This causes women to stay away from them and then they don't know how to process this and instead of confronting their own self they would rather blame the women for their problems and turn to AI which is a thing that won't leave them for their negative traits and won't make them have to think about said negative traits

Omg yes. Weird, but at the same time not shocking

Absolutely. When it’s women, it’s a joke. When it’s men, it’s a crisis.

saw a tweet or something once that was like “i can’t believe men’s mental health advocates can basically say some version of ‘it’s so hard for men to struggle with mental health because everyone already thinks women are hysteric and crazy’ and so many people are like ‘aww 🥺’”

truly though 🎉🎉🎉🎉 loneliness is not a gendered issue. If we take the course of even just relatively recent western history (the last few hundred years in the cultural West), women were confined to domestic roles that dramatically limited their ability to form senses of kinship in a way that men were not (laws against owning your own property or bank accounts, gentleman's clubs and men's social circles being acceptable whereas women were not 'suited' to gathering for education and discussion, the fact that tea sets for ladies used to be made in sets of 3 because women "couldn't handle" any more than 2 visitors without becoming "fatigued"). Women have been conditioned to expect loneliness and have fought for opportunities to forge senses of kinship. Women have also sought solace in each other during times of trauma (be that loss of loved ones to war time or the every day sense of threat of SA etc. and being safe in public spaces). This loneliness has certainly come upon men moreso in recent decades certainly, but it isn't a men's issue. It's a human issue that women have long faced.

So what you're saying is... men need to get some cats (which would coincidentally make them more dateable)

​@@sondpnichqfvd I love when they tell us how validated and accepted our emotions are in society as if gaslighting women ISN'T a cultural cornerstone lol

The podcast is literally called Sad Boyz, a podcast about feelings (and other things also)!

I hate "whoever doesn't like X isn't a real fan" as an argument. So weird and para-social.

@@CyborgX7I don’t think it’s para-social to be like “People who know your content know you’re not using this to get internet brownie points.” He’s normalizing grief which I think is just a good thing for a person with this type of platform to do. It doesn’t seem like there’s an ulterior motive. They’re already successful.

@@emperortime4380 I absolutely agree that they are not exploiting grief for ulterior motive or monetary gain. No argument from me there. What I take issue with is the "not a real fan" rhetoric as if being a "real fan" is something to aspire to or a good thing to be.

@@CyborgX7 idk about the whole “true fan” aspect. I think it’s just about being like a chill person who likes the content, and not assuming the worst of influencers. It’s easy to get jaded because you don’t really know any of them other than how they present themselves. I think when they say “true fan,” it’s shorthand for “not a jerk who stumbled across this video before deciding to be contrarian.” I’m not saying that about you. I’m just saying that’s how I read the original comment.

oh it’s fucking mortifying. the lack of consideration for women as human beings, and the lack of acknowledgement for their ability to make life choices for themselves that dont just serve men…ugh. especially scary when considering that this world is ALREADY OVERPOPULATED and we DO NOT need more babies.

I got curious when her credentials came up and looked into this prof Turns out she has very little practical experience and spends her time speaking on talk shows and running podcasts. She hasnt published any scientific literature since her phd thesis in 2015. Very susipicious Then I heard her speak and realized that her issue is this eugenicist shit... great

When my mom dies so will i.

Definitely not parasocial, just human to resonate with one another’s pain. Also in the dead mom’s club myself, so I wish you well ❤

you put it into words for me as well, my mom passed away almost a year ago too. thank you 💓

My faith in my religion being lost felt similar to my mom dying, and then I had to regrieve to realize our concepts of the afterlife are just that, concepts

Thank you for sharing ❤ I don't think you have to worry about this being parasocial at all

Same here. Many tears were shed.

I literally cried so much. I love this podcast and these men so much. Extremely genuine while also being extremely funny

It made me cry so much too ❤

I bawled too :’)

me too, second time this video, had not expected to cry

Yeah, honestly, I am living the other side of Jordan's life where I am unemployed and losing my father from dementia. I wish I had gotten my shit together so I could afford to get him a home attendant and be able to help my mom. But that is not where my life is. Jordan seems genuinely appreciative, and I am so fucking happy for him and Jarvis having such a beautiful friendship.

Honestly, 53min mark broken me, genuinely crying right. I lost my mum when I was young so those feelings hit hard

I love the story arc of this comment (I too only had Indian food recently for the first time)

Add Thai food to your repertoire next!

Asian food is incredible

i ascended the first time i had a roti

I congratulate you

i am ascending

We are blessed 🙌

Just you fuckin wait 🥹

this is my christmas

literally shitting my pants

i hope you’re doing as ok as possible given the circumstances 💜 I very unexpectedly lost my uncle a couple weeks ago as well and this kind of thoughtful discussion interspersed with banter was really cathartic for me as well

i think i'm doing ok! i honestly feel more about the way the circumstances have affected my family than true grief for my aunt. i felt the same way when my uncle passed a couple of years ago. of course i'm grieving for both of them still, but i wish i could do more for my family

I lost my dad when I was 19, a month before I started university. I'm also a psychology student and about to start a PhD lol, I'd love to read your work when it's done if you're comfortable figuring out a way for us to exchange details

just like the above commenter, I'm also a psychology & neuroscience postgraduate (not on a PhD yet, hopefully some day). I would also love to read your work if you ever felt comfortable sharing. My experience was a little different in that it was my grandmother who had the first of a series of strokes when I was 20 during my general psychology undergrad. Because she raised me with my mum, it felt like I'd lost a parent (father wasn't around). But since she didn't die, and has just been slipping away ever since, it feels like I'm still going through that loss again and again. It's a very strange feeling and hard to convey, because people tend to think grandparent loss is more expected and somehow less traumatic. But she was my other parent, essentially, and it's hard to communicate that without going into too much detail. Sending you both love and hopes that you're doing well on your healing.

@@RealElongatedMuskrat hi, sorry for missing your comment! Thank you for interest. I am currently entering my second semester so I still have quite a way to go 😅 when it is ready, I would love to find my way back to you and show you my research.

@@izzymehmet2649 hi, sorry for missing your comment! Thank you for interest. I am currently entering my second semester so I still have quite a way to go 😅 when it is ready, I would love to find my way back to you and show you my research.

Can I read it?

Ive read extracts and the way these things are explained is so good

That 20% men get 60% of dates (or whatever) I think came from a specific app. Without knowing the ratio of men to women it doesn't mean anything, but generally men on dating apps outnumber women. So that skews it. Plus how else can they guage attractiveness except by looking at who is getting dates and other interest on the app?

Its been almost a decade now since he was diagnosed. My dad has brain cancer, hes still here but I definitely had a point in time where I thought he was going to die and I couldn't tell anyone about how my dad had brain cancer and I was grieving because it felt weird to talk about. I didn't want to be the center of attention and just get a bunch of sympathy. We all grieve in different ways and that doesn't make it wrong. I hope you have recovered some, but if you arent that is ok to, time is the best healer.

I’m so sorry! My dad died a decade ago from suddenly from cancer (he’d kept it secret from everyone for years). Grief is so weird. It was nothing like I expected and I also had that issue with not grieving “the right way”.

the death of humans, especially our parents, is a weird one. those relationships can be very conflicted. compare it to the death of a friend or a treasured pet where the relationship is much less complicated and it's a weird thing to process. I'm beginning to emotionally prepare myself for what I'm going to feel, I hope you're doing ok with everything and managing to find peace ❤

I agree! I feel like part of it is that they don’t rely on their audience in any capacity as their support system. And they can do that because they’ve worked really hard to build a strong network and chosen family in real life. There’s some creators who kind of teeter on “can you guys validate me / make me feel better about this?” And I don’t even think that’s wrong some of the time, though all of the time that’s just unhealthy imo. However Jarvis and Jordan are constantly both verbally letting the audience know and indirectly exemplifying how they are taking care of themselves and engaged in their reciprocal, healthy friendships/partnerships and that is really reassuring.

It definitely fosters parasocial relationships but there’s nothing wrong with that so long as the nature of the relationship is respected. We get to know them to an extent through what they share and by watching their interactions, but they have zero idea who we are as individuals. That’s the parasocial dynamic. So long as we don’t start acting like their friend, trying to stalk them, reading more into what they say than is reasonable, etc then it’s fine. So long as they don’t start trying to exploit the connections people feel toward them it’s fine. The horror stories of parasocial relationships happen when people don’t respect the nature of the relationship, so boundaries start being crossed. What you described is a healthy parasocial relationship where boundaries are respected, and that can be a beneficial and healthy relationship to have. Colloquially people have started using “parasocial” exclusively for unhealthy parasocial relationships, and it’s becoming a little pet peeve of mine lol. Any type of relationship has the potential to get unhealthy if the nature of the relationship isn’t respected.

To be clear, it’s only a pet peeve because I think it’s helpful for people to know there are known benefits to parasocial relationships when the boundaries are respected. I don’t want a stigma attached to the healthy relationships too.

Hope you're doing a bit better now!

@@starrr365 I really am! Thanks so much. I'm excited to watch this whole thing and then try to sleep

Hope it passes soon! I was really out of it earlier today

Stay strong y'all 💪 It'll pass one day. U got this

I thought you said dislocated and was so surprised that someone else was also watching with dislocated joints. I mean mood either way, but I'm glad you're feeling better.

Half of living with ADHD is finding ways to outwit yourself, I swear.

Fr, dating games have been around for about as long as PCs have been popular in japan.

Unfortunately it seems to be so for many young people, and it is heartbreaking. What everyone needs is compassion, and while that sometimes (when looking at what kinds of stuff is trending on the internet) seems like a goal that's out of reach, compassion is thank goodness free, and at every moment a person can choose to express compassion in place of something more negative. I also feel like it would do people good to find common ground. For example, loneliness is pretty universal, and empathizing with others who a) feel it, and b) are different from you, helps to close the mental gap one might feel, especially if depressed and having the thought "the world is against me". Of course, the mind will put up barriers, and it'll feel like "the world is asking even more from you" when someone suggests this: that it's not fair that you yourself have to do the lifting in terms of feeling empathy. But then, if you try and empathize, that's one person more in the world who has a more kind worldview. By embracing compassion towards others who, too, suffer, the world has one more person who is not dismissive, not laughing at others' misery, and who is what those who suffer wish would exist in the world. Also, to answer to the other part of your comment: I wish you the best, life can be hard to navigate and especially so when social situations feels like an overwhelming looming pressure. Been there, lived through that. I know you'll make it too.

So sorry you felt you had to hide it. Also a caretaker for my dad after my mom passed and it’s been so difficult. My sister luckily wants to move him in with her and her husband and I have come to terms with the fact it’s better for our relationship that I no longer be responsible for him. There are traumas caretakers inherit and support groups etc, so know that you’re experiencing that burnout and imposter syndrome is normal. We aren’t health professionals, and even health professionals burn out. Also not being the one to caretaker for them doesn’t have to equal wishing for a sooner passing, it’s just that entire responsibility to caretake falls on the kids and grandkids very often. It should be more accessible and normalized to receive outside help. Hope you’re doing alright through everything, and glad this ep helped you process!

@@heyyitsjude Thank you. I just teared up reading that. You’re 100% right that outside help should be normalized. He was a great man, and it’s harder to remember the good times in the context of how everything ended. It was only about a year before he passed but I remember that as the hardest time of my life. Part of me wants to say I’ll remember him as he was before, and not how he ended. Up until things got bad, he was fiercely independent and I think part of my problem was that I got it in my head that it would be embarrassing for him if I let on how much I was struggling.

i hope your mom has a quick and easy recovery! ❤

sending you and your mom so much love ❤

As long as you aren't hurting yourself or others, I think it's totally normal. I can see how AI can be a nice outlet for situations such as yours where you might not be comfortable to talk about it with anyone in your life. Thanks for sharing ❤

What you’re doing is totally valid and I just wanted to mention that if you’re interested in dating I would definitely start with other trans/nonbinary people! I know so many trans people that exclusively date other trans people because they get what it’s like. Typically people on dating apps will use the term “t4t” to express they’re looking for fellow trans people. I hope this helps some, whether you’re looking to date now or later down the line!

@@sari9645 somehow I never even though about looking for t4t, even though I know about it. I'll have to write that down somewhere so I don't forget now though 😅

lesbian here and i've seriously thought abt it

I’d give you a big hug if I could, hope you’re alright

@@wisdomcoffee these days it's just a nice day of remembering him and being thankful for what I learned both as a result of his life and of his death. I appreciate the thoughts though 🙂

My dad too, we're still only about 4 years in. My heart goes out to you.

Sending you my love as well

Also there's just so many broad sweeping generalizations being made. As if the entire human race is gonna end tomorrow because we stopped being primitive & having babies like we should have.

honestly a better bar than anything he’s written lately

i was honestly in a pile of tears

mmm, that claim is about specificity (100% of romantic relationship havers are human), not sensitivity (100% of humans have romantic relationships)

im so sorry for your loss, and that segment deflinately hit hard it feels so easy to spiral at any time... jordan talking abt those struggles definitely made me feel less alone, it feels like everyone around me can drink like a "normal person" and just don't understand (except my dad lmao...)