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1. Doesn't complain about their ex. 2. Doesn't say he's "broken". Has done the inner work. Able to regulate enotions. 3. They have their act together. Life isn't a mess. 4. They value physical & emotional health. 5. Not addicted to his phone or professional life. 6. Not a complainer. 7. He's not closed off about his emotions. Use words of appreciation and expresses gratitude. Accepts you for who you are.

I’m in love with a 66 year old man. Not only is he emotionally unavailable but he’s at least 50 pounds overweight. He ghosted me about two months ago and didn’t have the courage to answer my calls or messages . I’m done initiating contact. I’m grieving now but I continue to improve my health and appearance. Lesson learned, finally.

Never second guess your intuition/gut. There's a reason it's there. To protect you.

He complained about his ex on the first date -I sent him a message the next day telling him I didn’t think see a future for us . Ironically he was a psychologist

Yes I was married to an emotionally stunted man. He didn’t know what his own feelings were. For me it was torture

I fell in love with a friend. I kept him at a distance for a long time while we saw each other at Meetup group activities. Then, the functions were not fun without him. Later, I was attracted to his wonderful heart and sense of fun. We chatted daily. I only opened up to dating him when I started finding his presence irresistible. We are so happy now. We talk about every part of our emotional life. We are building our compatibility, but the chemistry is magnetic. Amazing!

The red flags you choose to ignore going into a relationship will be the ones that ends it.

He talked about her constantly! I said, please don't talk about her. They were divorced longer than married. It was 30 years since the divorce. I started greeting her when he brought herup... trying to joke it away. That pissed him off. Too many people in that relationship. I couldn't do it.

So many guys on dating sites look like something that crawled out from a rock. And they think they’re ready to meet who? 😂

When People Show You Who They Are The First Time, You Must Believe Them - Maya Angelou. This quote is ingrained in my thinking and I NOW think long and hard if I want to participate in a relationship with a man based on what he tells me about himself. If a man says, I am broken, unkind, selfish, emotionally unavailable, married to his job, his kids come first before a relationship, has sexual issues, has strong political views, eats only a certain diet, and is generally close minded person, I believe him. People DO NOT CHANGE especially in mid life! I still think as women we are "programmed" to be a subservient to a man. I honestly think this won't change EVER! This is why women put up with more crap with men. I've also NEVER had a LDR relationship as this isn't for me. I need to have my partner in my city/state and I state this on my dating profile - it is a dealbreaker for me at this point in life. I think everyone should not only pray for the right partner, but for one who lives near you in your state/city.

I love when Jonathan starts yelling at us lmao 🤣

Womens intuiton is so powerful. If women trust their intuition and stand by their standards, it prevents a lot of heartache and being used. Trust your gut! Does he make you feel safe, respected and loved??

This is fantastic And yes, I've met a a man who told me he was a broken man, that there was no hope for him, and that he was doomed. When I agreed, he was surprised that I I didn't try to convince him otherwise and didnt attempt to "save" him. He was angry and bitter about his ex-wife and refused therapy saying "I need love, not therapy"

#5, yes. My ex-husband was not only an alcoholic, functional, obviously...but a workaholic too. He was rarely home. We never talked. Never had any sort of in-depth conversations. It was pathetically sad. It's why I left before our first anniversary.

I dated a James Bond and it's nuts. He had so many past experiences to focus on and was not living in the present. Always wanting to be in control of the situation. No compromise.

My latest “relationship” ended quickly, thank God, because he definitely didn’t value his physical health. He definitely is addicted to alcohol and even said something to the effect that he doesn’t do personal growth stuff! Phew! I dodged a bullet!

thank you for your firm words to inspire women to stop making excuses for dating mediocre men !

I’ve been alone for 2 years now. After 62 years of living with someone (siblings, husband, boyfriend or kids) I can honestly say I’m really liking it. My husband of almost 30 years was an alcoholic and I’m not much of a drinker, so that would be an immediate deal breaker for me.

#1, #2, #3, #6, #7. I'm so glad I found your channel, I'm all ears...wish I would have heard this content a year ago. Walked away from this dumpster fire 3 weeks ago with my self respect. Can't wait to digest more of your content here.

This is profound Jonathon. He complained about his ex. Said he was a broken man. Well guess what… he went back to that ex who harmed him immeasurably. I’m still in shock. Still heartbroken. 💔 So glad u have that insight. I wish I knew abt this b4… but at least I do now. I listen to every word out of their mouth now. Have an abundance of caution. I dig deep when they say something that doesn’t sound right. I’m not about to fall in love either. The man I’m dating now… we are smitten but even though we’ve been dating almost a year… he is not getting into my bed until I’m sure of who he is.

Yes, 200% correct. Actually he is playing with many women online by letting them know he is suffering depression due to horrible Ex and many are falling into his trapped. Surprisingly at his age in 63.

Wow #1 is so true. We need to listen and face the truth of what they say. This is why its important to sit back and observe the man. They will tell and show their intentions if we pay attention objectively.

I dated a guy that complained about his ex often and was very emotional unavailable. I lined him but I ended up leaving him because the poor communication skills and lack of emotional connection

I've dated a guy who complained about his Ex . The date was just him complaining about his exes and how he's so hurt and how he thinks I'm so kind for listening. Than he let his sexual energy out on me, never the less i didn't date him again, he kept contacting me but i blocked him. The worst thing a guy can do is to talk about his exes, and many men are cry babies about it. In my experience, even 50 60 year olds, complaining about their ex, selfish . Grow up . 😅😅😅

I've experienced all 7 of these. Mixed breed men. If you can leave so easily, they were never really meant for you. Relationships require investments and alignment. All in at 💯 Ive left men for these reasons. I send positive energy to them in the universive. Heal yourself first and be prepared. On the same page. Only you can change yourself. 🙏

No one is more surprised than me, that these very valid and accurate 7 items I have NOT experienced in my relationships. Excellent content and thank you for the truth! Thank you!

Yes I agree with you. Know yourself first and 😂 Esperanto your mind. Face reality. Be like a river and keep flowing. It’s a process Life is about learning. Think about solutions. Life equals solutions. Life is fluid, like a river. Keep flowing and moving. Look ahead!!!

Men hide there drinking habits as long as they can.

7 out of 7, I no longer accept unavailable men or people in general and enjoy my break from dating ...although I'm not shut off but I'm creating as I love to be creative, also retired yet still working my trade, traveling and allowing myself good times with my own self and great friends. Thank you

I was broken. I told you from the beginning!! Therefore I am not responsible!!!!! Exactly.

I just did some investigative reading on the dismissive avoidant personality. I do believe this personality type can reject a person and deny their feelings with the vibes showing the complete opposite. They are people who have terrible rejection and guilt experiences and who are in a constant state of fear of going through it again. You used the term jumpers in one of your pods....something that I recently experienced of a guy I couldn't figure out. At first I was confused...then angry of the yo yo effect of here...than not here. lol. After reading about this type of personality I felt sorry for him...but had a definite realization of run, do not walk to the nearest exit door.😄

#2, the man in question wore a t-shirt that actually said he was a broken man! 2 years into our relationship I became sober and I started my recovery journey. I broke up with him, that was 24 years ago...

I love, love, love your insight and how totally real you are. You’ve really helped me see how I have been responsible for being caught up in a dysfunctional relationship, why my man is the way he is and now I need to continue on this journey of setting boundaries and moving towards either ending it and moving on or accepting it and loving him regardless of how and who he is. Whew!

Yes, currently seeing (casually) a man who can't stand his ex because she kept him from his son for years. Lots of legal costs. I don't blame him.

You are absolutely right, Jonathon. I always thought chemistry was black and white- either you have it or you don’t. However that’s not true. With my current boyfriend I thought I wasn’t really attracted to him at first but something changed on our fifth date and developed the most intense chemistry and connection. We have been together for over a year now happily. On the other hand, with my ex, I had intense chemistry right away but that didn’t last. So yes I totally agree with you. Chemistry is not black and white. It can be made or intensified by getting to know each other better. Really enjoyed this video. Thank you for all you do.

I had an interesting bout with a narcissist, I was careful not to label him but I had to go to therapy and my therapist said he's textbook. After a 30-year marriage, he came on to me so strong pretended to be healed and I should have known better. There was no way after 8 months he could be healed after a 30-year marriage. We got married after 2 years and divorced and 7 months after his abuse and infidelity surface. It was a crazy ride

1. Yes I have and he cheated on me with the ex. 5. Yes I experienced a man who was addicted to his work. Things never progressed because he never made time for me and always canceled plans with me.

After meeting up in online he has proposed to me to Mary him so so I was engaged in online but I havent met the man in face to face it was blind love but we both stuck on our promises so we continue to share and build our relationship to make it happen for us and we both really struggles together .making ways for meetings do many many things . because in have to follow this procedure.. because man came from a very highly profile .but he put him self down to my level ..to fight hard . to make our journey realty...we are still fighting for our marriage .still trying ..and thing our love has so many reasons and so many meaning so many stories that never forget the struggled we both went through . We are still struggle

I agree with you, Jonathan. I think they waited so long, they froze up. Nervous. If all else was right, they might to have given it time. That is an entirely separate dynamic that they could view as taking time to get to know each other.

1,4,5,workaholic,stoner,did not eat well, hobbies gaming and drinking at weekend,not ever calling,only texting,wants drama free,no committment.God glad it's over.Only expressed horniness.

No 3: During the course of the conversation shared they were screwed up. Demonstrated it and left for good. There is not any reason on my part to communicate anything.😮

Yes, experience all of them over the years. Thanks for helping us gals and guys out on all this.

Experienced #7 Was in confusing relationship/situation with a dismissive avoidant

I love your insight thanks so much. Just out of a situation with alllll 7 red flags

I hope you keep speaking the truth, Jonathan. Thank you

Broken men saying they damaged is them being 'honest' in not ready for a relationship. Unfortunately, women take as challenge to fix them, and diminish own value in doing so/going into therapist role playing/not seen as complete person. Man revealing himself without judgement to a woman is healing to the man (one way/ control, me therapist)

Yes I've had number 7 in my life and won't accept that anymore! Took about 9 months for it to show. The key is to believe it when it shows up!

I'm on the precipice of breaking off a 7 month relationship that has had a rough patch for 2 months....for the reason that I can't see a future anymore. It's like he can't take the leap. I was second guessing myself until you hit 6 and 7 and then Bam! you nailed it. My instinct was right. I can't continue waiting for the other shoe to drop because he's clearly not ready so he isn't able to make this relationship work

Yes addicted to work running away from intimacy- but he is a passive aggressive narcissist and never could deal with feelings....number 6 and 7- could never do anything but repeat same high school lines

Copied your wonderful prayer. Thank you Jonathan.

I fell into that trap too. I've learned that a broken man cannot do

J: You're a terrific (genuine!) seemingly-WELL adjusted AND well-INTENTIONED male, and I sure appreciate you AND what you say. God love you. (from southwest New Mexico.)

Yes, they won’t lead with their exit strategy…love it.

Yes I will not except it anymore

I Love Your Prayer Jonathon! So much valuable information. You are so much fun to listen to and learn from. Thank you for being you

You are right! Intentionality is missing in relationships.

I believe in books ive learned soo much from books espexially in the last year my library is now very extensive!

That's how I am too!! I love talking about things that matter! In our life!!

Alexandria T. Thank you for being open and candid about your relationship. How is it going at your work knowing you see your former guy there?

Bear hugs for you Jonathon ❤❤❤🌹

His past was a disaster! I am all for forgiveness when there is honesty. But, he wasn't completely honest about ANYTHNG!! I have learned from this experience with this "charmer" background checks are a MUST!😱 He said one of the many exes had cheated. I believe in reality he was always the cheater!

LOVE THE PRAYER 🙏🏼

6 out of 7 🚩 I experienced with him but I couldn’t leave him. I kept begging for more time and emotional intimacy but got nothing. However, the reason I ended last week after 9 months was because I found his text before and after our first date he said multiple friends that my sister was the most beautiful woman he ever met in person and went on describing how he thinks she’s more attractive and gorgeous. I asked him why would you peruse me then? He told me because despite that he was into me, my kindness. Question: was this man ever really loved me? I am confused and deeply hurt and hard to believe anything that came from him, although he said he did almost everyday for the last 6 months.

I met 47 years old man who was so open with me the first 2 weeks of our communication, about his vulnerability too (a terrible divorce, and his last 7 years relationship) I noticed he most likely won’t get married ever again 🚩 and he has fears that women need his money only 🚩🚩) I didn’t go far with this man because he showed some signs that he doesn’t want to develop the relationship but very interested in a romantic experience with me mostly. I knew him for about a month and I understand it’s too early to judge (or not too early 🤭), especially we didn’t get physically close. Can’t say his intentions were bad, or he didn’t put enough efforts, but I don’t want to put my life on proving to him I’m the right and trustworthy person for him. Somehow I felt I have to do that to gain his trust 😅and actually I don’t like this place for myself.

* Won't lead with exit strategy. He's a lonely broken man. Dont be a fool think you'll wait around to change him. 1. Don't complain about ex. 2. Broken. Childhood wounds. Adult traumas. It's his exit strategy. 3. Life is a mess. 4. Don't value physical health. Value Emotional well being. Drink in excess. Doing things in excess. 5. Not addicted to phone. Not addicted to work. Addicted to social media. Avoidance mechanism to avoid intimacy doesn't have balance in their life. 6. Complainer. Communication is negative. 7. Not closed off with emotions. Horny doesn't count. Love bombing. Good: Is he appreciative & grateful. I've experienced all these. In 1 man, twice.

We were "hot under the collar" too with that lady few days ago. You handled it very professionally, better than I could've -im working on that 😂

Such good insights. I recently ended dating with a wonderful man. I could say there were a few minor red flags. I say minor because his green flags were way more present than red and he was looking for a relationship. Everything went great and I noticed he was slowing down. After 2 months he told me he really liked me but not romantically. We did have sex and I was emotionally about to invest but I knew quite early on there was something that just couldn't be there. I think we both were physically attracted to each other and "chemistry" was there but at the end of the day, sometimes it is our gut feeling that will tell us whether we want to spend more time with each other exploring and discovering. I learned to differentiate between emotional investment and genuine feelings of curiosity and passion towards one another. Sometimes all the talks can't create magic. Hugs are not the same as connectedness. Kisses can't surpass the deep belonging to one another. I'm divorced and am in a good relationship with my ex. I just think now, that the fact I did fall deep in love with my ex, got married,and have children together and grew together as a couple is such a miracle and I'm grateful for that.

#6 & 7- I’m in a new relationship w/a widower, who is very closed in his feelings. Trying to figure him out and encourage him to express himself.

My ex boy friend complained about his ex. His ex wife, Donna, slept with his bosses brother. The crazy part??? His boss, Mark, was his brother in law by marriage. Yes!!! They both married sisters. The crazy part, he continued to work there. Thats insane!!!! I don't think he ever got over his wife cheating on him & leaving him. As I look back, I thought I could save him, make him happy. Love wasn't enough. And yes, he was #7 as well. Unfortunately he was with me when my mother passed at the age of 90. I say unfortunately, as a alittle over a year after my mom passed, he broke up with me over the phone, the day before Easter. I never, ever saw it coming. The week before he was discussing what he wanted us to do over Memorial Day weekend. Since the break up in 2018, I have been alone & focusing on my self & my home.

This is so good !! Wonderful message

Yes. Most of the men I have dated have been emotionally unavailable. Exit strategy: Too busy with work.

I was with a man who’s life was mess. This is how he is exited our relationship with the excuses he needs to sort this mess first.

I’m seeing a guy who tells me his mistress is his work he has difficulty in personal relationships. He can’t have a physical relationship, he is not expressive in his emotions. He says he loves me and I feel he does he is attentive with me but has difficulties in being intimate

Spot on in everything you say

All he did was trash his ex's for the first 3 months, now he's trashing me.......I get it.

I have experienced all SEVEN with one man . I am glad I walked away finally. He was all SEVEN. I thank you truly. I thought I was the reason.❤

5- man addicted to his work- avoided his family

Just need you to know you are a f legend, thanks for what you are giving to so many women worldwide. I have been through alot of this and happily single focusing on my life and just made my bedroom in a palace, I am a queen and I know it, I cut ppl out as soon as I see an of the signs you have mentioned, love to watch to keep it as a reminder! You are the best!

#1, yes, I have. Too many have done that. Complain about their ex-wife. Ugh!!! Like I'm a therapist!!! 😳😯

Oh, you're good, Jonathan! Right on target..!

I agree with Alexandra!!!!!!!

I believe I’m feeling that’s my situation

Woohoo 🎉 ❤”I see you”. That is ❤

spent almost 12 yrs with #6 and 7. Definitely David downer and totally closed off emotionally. He even said the last time we got back together, he didn't know if he was the "relationship type" 😮🤮 😣🙄 When they tell you who they are, BELIEVE THEM!! don't waste your precious time. God Bless 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

This explains why my husband does not want to discuss his ex. I didn't understand it all as i have been burned really bad from mine if he doesn't want me to talk about my exes or his at all

I had met a guy with pretty much the 7 signs and I can’t understand why I was in love with him.

Q: Jonathon, my ex, if he had to chase and beg, cry, to me, he’d be open emotionally. But if I needed to be open with him, he would just sit there with no real reaction, asleep at the wheel. Why? So frus

It's a small world, as I was reading Rabbi Manis Friedman's latest book, I realized that I am friends with his son and daughter in law :) Another great podcast, Jonathon, thank you!

OMG I’ve had some amazing guys never any of the red flags. Probably because I would not date guys with those issues. I think I’m the one with issues. Thank you for helping me see this

4. I have experienced this in past relationship.

That is why I live alone ❤

Good presentation tonight. I agree that you handled the argumentative person well and feel she was totally out of line and added nothing of significance to the conversation. Sorry that happened. Thank you for all you share with us. I've learned a lot over the moths I've followed you. Thank you again!

!!! Love all these !!! I’ve experienced many of them. Grateful to this insight so that now I can pay attention and not waste time

You’re right Jonathon

Yes #5 too much work and no time for me.

Great content! Your video topics are really getting better and better.

Supposedly my guy is “committed”. Says he misses me but will make excuses to come see me. He is perfectly happy to wait u til I show up at his doorstep. He texts and calls every day.

Jonathon, l ❤️your prayer! Much gratitude for another great podcast! Thank you for your healing help! ❤️❤️❤️❤️your 🧚‍♂️!

Yes #7 and I won't accept that anymore.